#2.33.1 ‘A Glimpse of Humour’ 30 August 2011 A Muslim woman prays at the Istiqlal mosque on the first day of Ramadan in Jakarta on August 22, 2009. (ADEK BERRY/AFP/Getty) We have come to the end of the Holy Wrap month of Ramadaan 2011. ~ Rap -~ to talk., conversation. Did you take advantage of this sacred ~ a piece of thin, flat bread that can contain time? Did you reap the benefits? Fill anything eaten as a sandwich. your larder for your soul with the ~ Signaling the end (ie of a week) numerous bounties? Did you jump start your flagging spirit for another year? ~ Under wraps – secret. Or did you leave Ramadaan in the lounge by the TV watching Islam Channel like Boeka Blog 2011.4½ an inopportune guest? I hope you took advantage because you Die boud is ge-marinade. will have to wait (365-28-10) days Die soutvleis is in ge-lê. before Ramadaan comes visiting again. Die tong kook. My labarang taub is ge-stryk. We know for a fact he will come next My labarang koefeya is afge-stof. year but can we guarantee that we will My toon naels is ge-knip, be there to welcome him? My hake is ges-krop. But, it is finish now. Galaas. My hare is ge-trim. Al my hare. Ek is ge-shampoo, ge-was, ge-spray, ge- Here is hoping we will be blessed with blowdry, ge-gel, ge-delice, ge-lip-ice another Ramadaan where we will try even harder. en ge-attar. That we promise. Indonesian men attend Friday prayer at Istiqlal mosque, the biggest in Southeast Asia, in Jakarta, Indonesia, Friday, Sept. 12, 2008. (AP Photo/Irwin Fedriansyah) # Cape Town Shake that will never die. I hope. One of the most unusual things here in On a platter Cape Town is the amount of hand My wife was fretting about her platter shakings that goes on. In other South she forgot at a friend’s house some African cities hand shaking is not so time ago. We had to hear how much she prevalent. Here in Cape Town every time missed it, how much it means to her, two guys meet they will shake hands and how she yearns for it, how she must go greet. Young and old, everybody does and fetch it. Two weeks later she the thumb/hand shake, not the limp finally fetched it when she got the wristed finger shake some Jo’burgers do chance. She was very happy and when she but the firm man-to-man shake. And to got home, she dropped the platter. Is see the teenagers greeting each other there anybody out there who requires a in this way is a complement to our second-hand platter? A broken second- steadfastness to our religion here in hand platter? Cape Town. Even the young children do it and babies are taught from an early Sweet Most nights on my way to Mosque I suck age to give a CT handshake. on Halls after carefully peeling it and After prayers too, it is almost putting the wrapper in my pocket. When mandatory to shake the hand of the we get to Mosque I carefully take out person on either side of you. And you the half-eaten sweet and wrap it back must shake the hand and smile and not in the wrapper and put it on the shake the hand and look away. Shake the console of the car. Later, on our way hand, make eye contact and smile. home, I carefully unwrap the half-eaten I do it no matter where I am. It sweet and re-eat (re-eat?) it. Much to confuses the hell out of the person the dismay of my son, ‘Why don’t Dad next to me sometimes but, but what the just throw it away? Why? It is a hell, it puts a smile on my face. perfectly good half-eaten sweet. Why It is not an Islamic thing; it is a must I throw it away? Cape Town thing. That is one tradition A Muslim woman reads the Koran at the Istiqlal mosque during the second day of Ramadan in Jakarta, Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim-majority country, on September 2, 2008. (ADEK BERRY/AFP/Getty Images) Lift. Heels. Walked to Mosque one stormy night as my In prayer, in Mosque, there can be lot son was very late. The mosque is just of bumping. Either you bump the guy up the next road but quite far if the ahead of you against his bum or heels Athaan is already finished. Walked or the guy behind you bump you in the around the corner into the next road same way. Sometimes your koefiyah gets where there are plenty of cars on their bumped off. The good guys avoid way to Mosque. standing on it but the bad guys just stand on it and your koefiyah smells No cars, wondering if someone will like old socks for the rest of the actually stop. Suddenly a big 4X4 flies night. past. Whoosh! Before I can even form an opinion about fancy people in their It reminds me of the Pakistani/ Indian/ fancy 4X4, brakes, reverse. Whoom! (is Bangladeshi pilgrims in Saudi who have that the sound a car makes when it deep, deep cracks in their heels. We called it Pakistani Heels. No amount of reverses?) Nivea or Camphor Cream will rescue And they pull up beside me. No, ‘Do you those cracks. It needs a week of want a lift’, or ‘Can we give you scrubbing just to get clean. A grinder lift.’ No! The driver, an older Joburg will half the time though. guy with a long beard, (Why are there so many of them in our area?) rolls So if you stand behind one of them you (rolls?) down his electric window and must most definitely, positively not just says, ‘Jump in!’ 4 seconds flat we bump your head against their heels. You are at the Mosque. From being very late will most definitely, positively do yourself some major injury. I was very early. And my faith in humanity is restored. I gave myself a Policemen at your door kick as to doubting my belief. This is for all the menfolk. A warning. This time of Ramadaan, wives get a disease called ‘Labarang Fever’. There A Bangladeshi vendor sells traditional sweet meats for breaking the Ramadan fast, at the Chalk bazaar in Dhaka, Bangladesh, Friday, Sept. 12, 2008. (AP Photo/Pavel Rahman) # is so many things they want done table. It takes about a day. Clever before Labarang it drives them me, né. crazy. They want to wash all the Don’t sit by the computer ‘I’m windows, all the curtains, the Archiving my photos, lovey’ or TV passage needs painting, all the ‘I’m cleaning out the PVR, my cupboards in the kitchen needs re- angel’. It does not work. You arranging, all the lampshades needs qualify as someone who is not doing to be taken off and washed. It is as anything. if ‘Labarang Diener’ will be coming to inspect the picture rails for And sitting on the roof with a dust. (Do houses still have picture scrubbing brush in Ramadaan is not a rails?). It’s madness. And if you pleasant thing. Though scrubbing the sit still they will create something roof is more pleasant than to bear for you to do. ‘Clean the yard’, the wrath of a wife frothing at the mouth with ‘Labarang Fever’. At ‘Scrub the roof’ etc. least you get to wave to all the So if you are clever you get busy other husbands in the neighbourhood before they catch you doing nothing. sitting on their roofs with a Wash the car, pack your tools right scrubbing brush. in your toolbox, re-arrange your I hope you have a blessed Eid and book/CD/DVD/toothbrush collection. the day is good and you were blessed Or better still tell her you have to with good food and with all your go to the hardware store. Tell her family. Don’t forget to go and say you have to go and buy some 2X4 Slamat to all your brothers and galvanized periwinkles or 6 inch sisters. Remember to visit all your PVA; anything. She stopped listening aunties and uncles too. when she heard ‘hardware store’. In Anyway. Nuff said. that way you can go off for a couple of hours without much trouble. Eid Mubarak! What I normally do is clean out my Have a lekker Lebaran. corner by the bed and my bedside (It’s the Malaysian spelling,Anwar.) Al-Zaim family of Duxbury, Massachusetts sits, gathered together for their dinner after 7pm on September 14th, 2008, to break their Fast. (Justine Hunt/Globe Staff Photo) # Remember you are the architect of your Ray of Hope life. Every problem has (n+1) solutions, where n is the number of solutions that you have tried and 1 is that you have not EEnnjjooyy lliiffee!!!! tried. Heavy rains remind us of challenges in That’s life. ‘Search a beautiful heart, not life. Rather than ask for a lighter rain, a beautiful face,’ because beautiful things seek a better umbrella. won’t last forever, and a golden heart does always. That is attitude. It’s not important to hold all the good When flood comes, fish eat ants and cards in life. But it’s important how well when flood recedes, ants eat fish.