Hikes & Interview Threads Too!
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Free Every Thursday I www.corvallisadvocate.com I April 30-May 7, 2015 orvallis C he T ADVOCATE Best Happy Hours! HIKES & INTERVIEW THREADS TOO! By Paul Henry Only a Little Bit for Mexico and Corvallis April 30-May 7, 2015 Editor/Publisher WHAT’S INSIDE THIS WEEK? Steven J. Schultz 3 Not So Much Cinco de Mayo; Surf Golf Assoc. Editor Thing; Backwash, Scio Too Johnny Beaver City Editor 4 Frothy Donation; Art Between Stacks; Denise Ruttan Breaking Mews; Majestic Resurgent Entertainment 5 As the State Turns Editor Ygal Kaufman 6 Trails in the Hoods: Our Top Picks Words Paul Henry 7 Rachel’s Picks for Happy Hours Sidney Reilly John Burt Johnny Beaver 8 Put Some Freakin’ Clothes on... Or, Get Dave DeLuca a Damn Job Kiki Genoa Summer Noller 10 Calendar Nathan Hermanson Maggie Nelson Rachel Sandstrom 12 8 Days Kyra Young Ygal Kaufman 14 Entertainmental Design Bobbi Dickerson 15 Hard Truths Calendar Melissa Spaulding-Ross Contact us: Box 2700, Corvallis, OR 97339 541.766.3675 | corvallisadvocate.com editor calendar @corvallisadvocate.com story ideas ads } The Corvallis Advocate is a free newsweekly with a very diverse staff that accepts materials from a number of sources, therefore it should be assumed that not all staff or even the majority of staff endorse all of our published materials. 2 | Corvallis Advocate By Paul Henry CINCO DE MAYOOnly a Little Bit for Mexico and Corvallis inco de Mayo is right around the the Alamo that day). To warm up, the the help of “Tranquilo Mexican Ale.” Ccorner, so dust off those tri-colored largest party in Oregon continues to be sombreros wedged in the top of your junk Portland’s Waterfront Park Cinco de Closer to home, have a free hot dog and closet and get ready to Mayo Fiesta, which has been billed get inked with $50 “candy skulls and polish off some Patrón. as the “largest multicultural roses” at Mafia Tattoo’s Cinco de Mayo Not actually a well- celebration in Oregon.” That celebration at 1335 NW 9th Street. Next, By Johnny Beaver known celebration event runs on Saturday, May 2, you can come alive on five-five with in Mexico, Cinco Sunday, May 3, and Tuesday, Civil War baseball at Goss Stadium, INN ENTON de Mayo remains May 5—because nobody from starting at 6 p.m. Or, $20 at the door will L -B a go-to party- any culture is allowed to have get you in to see the Corvallis Folklore down date here fun on Mondays. You will need Society’s 7:30 p.m. presentation of folk BACKWASH in the States. that crusty, crumpled sombrero music singer David Roth at the First GMO Fun, Missed Hooky... While falling on to help out with the World Congregational UCC Church out on West Racist Rep for Scio a Tuesday can kill Record attempt of the “Largest Hills Road. Afterwards, join hundreds of Farmers, armchair scientists, other this kind of third-tier Gathering of People Wearing your Facebook friends on Monroe, ‘cause farmers, unapologetic hypocrites, holiday, the Advocate Sombreros” in the Waterfront Park Hornitos Tequila is rolling into Impulse Wikipedia scholars, college students has you covered so you on Saturday at 5:30 p.m. To the east, to celebrate their annual Cinco de Mayo that look like they get dressed in the can ¡Viva México! and remember the you can RUN BND at downtown Bend’s party and giveaways, which coincides dark, as well as other undesirables in Battle of Puebla (just forget to remember Cinco de Mayo 5K/10K, or hash it with with Taco Tuesday this year. Benton County will soon be receiving their ballots for the May 19 special election. Stools will be loosened in this By Sidney Reilly white-knuckled race to either embrace or slap down Measure 2-89. The stakes? OSU JOINS INNOVATION CORPS A possible GMO ban in the county. Oh ‘Innovators Assemble’ Considered for Slogan hell yeah. It’s time to test our mettle in the age of the mal-informed. SU has been awarded a three-year, “This support from the NSF will be O$300,000 grant from the National particularly helpful in preparing early stage A Corvallis school bus missed a few Science Foundation (NSF) to bring new concepts, to keep our pipeline full of new stops last week, stranding children concepts to market. The program, dubbed companies,” said Turner in a recent press for under an hour. Cheldelin Middle School went into Mauve Alert Mode the Innovation Corps by the (probably) release. “One example is a pre-accelerator comic book enthusiasts at the NSF, includes and sent out automated phone program we plan to begin next month, messages to parents with children on 36 total schools which will be given funds to which will be a set of workshops open to try and make new innovative products. that particular route if their kids were both student, faculty, and community absent. All kids on the maligned route innovators.” OSU already is on the cutting edge of eventually made it to school. This is the product incubation with its Advantage most horribly square, boring story I’ve It is hoped that programs like the Accelerator program, and now joins more ever had anything to do with in this Accelerator and the Innovation Corps will traditionally reputable science institutions could prove vital. town. Back in my day, if the bus was 15 such as MIT, Carnegie-Mellon University, spark an innovation and manufacturing minutes late, that meant you go home and University of Pennsylvania as part of renaissance in the United States, as the No word yet on whether spandex costumes and cartoon it up. These kids are losers. coming decades will see technological jumps will be issued to the scientists and the Innovation Corps. Lebanon’s iconic Redbead restaurant that will change the economic landscape in engineers at OSU, but one can only hope has been demolished to make way John Turner, co-director of the Advantage ways we’ve never before considered. For the the Innovation Corps has as much style as for a disgustingly named Human Bean Accelerator, weighed in on the new grant. US to stay competitive, programs like this they do intelligence and seed funding. coffee joint. I mean seriously, the “human bean?” Good God, people. By John Burt The community is worried, however, about where all the meth-heads will go SURFBOARDS FOR GOLFERS to take off their shirts and do parking lot Trysting Tree Offers Alternative to Golf Carts Kung Fu now. here’s a new way to get around at costs to the golf course, but also reduces links to catch up with your ball. You State Representative Sherrie Sprenger of Scio has put forth a bill designed to Trysting Tree Golf Course, and general the course’s environmental footprint. understand why Trysting Tree bought a T block the state board of educators manager Sean Arey is happy to talk about dozen of them, and why there was only one from making mascot rules. Yep, in it. GolfBoards are motorized, four-wheel- Riding a GolfBoard takes a little training, at the clubhouse when I came by. direct opposition to everyone that drive skateboards, controlled the way a but only a little. Even if you’ve never wants to ban what amounts to ridden a skateboard (or a snowboard, Corvallis residents are almost the first in skateboard is controlled, by body motions. blatantly racist team names. or a surfboard), you will probably find the Pacific Northwest to have a chance There’s a grab-bar in controlling it intuitive— to ride GolfBoards. After Trysting Tree, The Lebanon Log, April 21: A man front, but it’s only for and fun. You can shift the nearest place to ride a GolfBoard is in jumped out of a van and yelled, “$20 stability, and to hold between low (top speed 5 Bend. bucks, baby!” in front of a house (and the accelerator button miles per hour) and high this was reported to the police for and the brake. Oh, and (top speed 12 miles per Some people still sneer at electric cars some reason), a woman reported an it also holds your golf hour). Shock absorbers as “golf carts.” Not only does their ride opossum in her garage and wanted to bag for you. It runs off front and back keep the probably not give as lively an experience shoot it with a BB gun instead of calling a lithium-ion battery board level under your animal control (so the police came as driving a modern electric car, but they which powers all four feet. and removed it), a man failed to steal wheels. can only dream of its giving them an items from a mini mart, and a man who When you see a experience like a GolfBoard. did not fail managed to get Rockstar Since a golfer on a GolfBoard in use, you drinks, candies, and cookies from Sir Winston Churchill called golf “a good GolfBoard weighs much less than a golf can see at once how it makes golfing a very Wal-Mart... before he escaped on foot cart, the four-inch-wide wheels are a lot different experience: it’s faster and more walk spoiled.” One wonders how he would through nearby blackberry brambles. easier on the turf. That not only reduces exhilarating, as you zip over the rolling feel cruising a GolfBoard. Corvallis Advocate | 3 By Kiki Genoa BREAKING MEWSOSU Welcomes Humans for Pet Day reetings, four-legged citizens of Enjoy hundreds of animal-related either veterinarian or Beaver-themed gear, GCorvallis! Whether you’re covered in activities and contests like an indoor depending on their level of passion.