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Best Happy Hours!

Hikes & Interview Threads Too! By Paul Henry Only a Little Bit for Mexico and Corvallis April 30-May 7, 2015

Editor/Publisher What’s Inside This Week? Steven J. Schultz 3 Not So Much Cinco de Mayo; Surf Golf Assoc. Editor Thing; Backwash, Scio Too Johnny Beaver City Editor 4 Frothy Donation; Art Between Stacks; Denise Ruttan Breaking Mews; Majestic Resurgent Entertainment 5 As the State Turns Editor Ygal Kaufman 6 Trails in the Hoods: Our Top Picks Words Paul Henry 7 Rachel’s Picks for Happy Hours Sidney Reilly John Burt Johnny Beaver 8 Put Some Freakin’ Clothes on... Or, Get Dave DeLuca a Damn Job Kiki Genoa Summer Noller 10 Calendar Nathan Hermanson Maggie Nelson Rachel Sandstrom 12 8 Days Kyra Young Ygal Kaufman 14 Entertainmental Design Bobbi Dickerson 15 Hard Truths Calendar Melissa Spaulding-Ross

Contact us: Box 2700, Corvallis, OR 97339 541.766.3675 | corvallisadvocate.com editor calendar @corvallisadvocate.com story ideas ads } The Corvallis Advocate is a free newsweekly with a very diverse staff that accepts materials from a number of sources, therefore it should be assumed that not all staff or even the majority of staff endorse all of our published materials. 2 | Corvallis Advocate By Paul Henry Cinco de MayoOnly a Little Bit for Mexico and Corvallis

inco de Mayo is right around the the Alamo that day). To warm up, the the help of “Tranquilo Mexican Ale.” Ccorner, so dust off those tri-colored largest party in Oregon continues to be sombreros wedged in the top of your junk Portland’s Waterfront Park Cinco de Closer to home, have a free hot dog and closet and get ready to Mayo Fiesta, which has been billed get inked with $50 “candy skulls and polish off some Patrón. as the “largest multicultural roses” at Mafia Tattoo’s Cinco de Mayo Not actually a well- celebration in Oregon.” That celebration at 1335 NW 9th Street. Next, By Johnny Beaver known celebration event runs on Saturday, May 2, you can come alive on five-five with in Mexico, Cinco Sunday, May 3, and Tuesday, Civil War baseball at Goss Stadium, inn enton de Mayo remains May 5—because nobody from starting at 6 p.m. Or, $20 at the door will L -B a go-to party- any culture is allowed to have get you in to see the Corvallis Folklore down date here fun on Mondays. You will need Society’s 7:30 p.m. presentation of folk Backwash in the States. that crusty, crumpled sombrero music singer David Roth at the First GMO Fun, Missed Hooky... While falling on to help out with the World Congregational UCC Church out on West Racist Rep for Scio a Tuesday can kill Record attempt of the “Largest Hills Road. Afterwards, join hundreds of Farmers, armchair scientists, other this kind of third-tier Gathering of People Wearing your Facebook friends on Monroe, ‘cause farmers, unapologetic hypocrites, holiday, the Advocate Sombreros” in the Waterfront Park Hornitos Tequila is rolling into Impulse Wikipedia scholars, college students has you covered so you on Saturday at 5:30 p.m. To the east, to celebrate their annual Cinco de Mayo that look like they get dressed in the can ¡Viva México! and remember the you can RUN BND at downtown Bend’s party and giveaways, which coincides dark, as well as other undesirables in Battle of Puebla (just forget to remember Cinco de Mayo 5K/10K, or hash it with with Taco Tuesday this year. Benton County will soon be receiving their ballots for the May 19 special election. Stools will be loosened in this By Sidney Reilly white-knuckled race to either embrace or slap down Measure 2-89. The stakes? OSU Joins Innovation Corps A possible GMO ban in the county. Oh ‘Innovators Assemble’ Considered for Slogan hell yeah. It’s time to test our mettle in the age of the mal-informed. SU has been awarded a three-year, “This support from the NSF will be O$300,000 grant from the National particularly helpful in preparing early stage A Corvallis school bus missed a few Science Foundation (NSF) to bring new concepts, to keep our pipeline full of new stops last week, stranding children concepts to market. The program, dubbed companies,” said Turner in a recent press for under an hour. Cheldelin Middle School went into Mauve Alert Mode the Innovation Corps by the (probably) release. “One example is a pre-accelerator comic book enthusiasts at the NSF, includes and sent out automated phone program we plan to begin next month, messages to parents with children on 36 total schools which will be given funds to which will be a set of workshops open to try and make new innovative products. that particular route if their kids were both student, faculty, and community absent. All kids on the maligned route innovators.” OSU already is on the cutting edge of eventually made it to school. This is the product incubation with its Advantage most horribly square, boring story I’ve It is hoped that programs like the Accelerator program, and now joins more ever had anything to do with in this Accelerator and the Innovation Corps will traditionally reputable science institutions could prove vital. town. Back in my day, if the bus was 15 such as MIT, Carnegie-Mellon University, spark an innovation and manufacturing minutes late, that meant you go home and University of Pennsylvania as part of renaissance in the United States, as the No word yet on whether spandex costumes and cartoon it up. These kids are losers. coming decades will see technological jumps will be issued to the scientists and the Innovation Corps. Lebanon’s iconic Redbead restaurant that will change the economic landscape in engineers at OSU, but one can only hope has been demolished to make way John Turner, co-director of the Advantage ways we’ve never before considered. For the the Innovation Corps has as much style as for a disgustingly named Human Bean Accelerator, weighed in on the new grant. US to stay competitive, programs like this they do intelligence and seed funding. coffee joint. I mean seriously, the “human bean?” Good God, people. By John Burt The community is worried, however, about where all the meth-heads will go Surfboards for Golfers to take off their shirts and do parking lot Trysting Tree Offers Alternative to Golf Carts Kung Fu now. here’s a new way to get around at costs to the golf course, but also reduces links to catch up with your ball. You State Representative Sherrie Sprenger of Scio has put forth a bill designed to Trysting Tree Golf Course, and general the course’s environmental footprint. understand why Trysting Tree bought a T block the state board of educators manager Sean Arey is happy to talk about dozen of them, and why there was only one from making mascot rules. Yep, in it. GolfBoards are motorized, four-wheel- Riding a GolfBoard takes a little training, at the clubhouse when I came by. direct opposition to everyone that drive skateboards, controlled the way a but only a little. Even if you’ve never wants to ban what amounts to ridden a skateboard (or a snowboard, Corvallis residents are almost the first in skateboard is controlled, by body motions. blatantly racist team names. or a surfboard), you will probably find the Pacific Northwest to have a chance There’s a grab-bar in controlling it intuitive— to ride GolfBoards. After Trysting Tree, The Lebanon Log, April 21: A man front, but it’s only for and fun. You can shift the nearest place to ride a GolfBoard is in jumped out of a van and yelled, “$20 stability, and to hold between low (top speed 5 Bend. bucks, baby!” in front of a house (and the accelerator button miles per hour) and high this was reported to the police for and the brake. Oh, and (top speed 12 miles per Some people still sneer at electric cars some reason), a woman reported an it also holds your golf hour). Shock absorbers as “golf carts.” Not only does their ride opossum in her garage and wanted to bag for you. It runs off front and back keep the probably not give as lively an experience shoot it with a BB gun instead of calling a lithium-ion battery board level under your animal control (so the police came as driving a modern electric car, but they which powers all four feet. and removed it), a man failed to steal wheels. can only dream of its giving them an items from a mini mart, and a man who When you see a experience like a GolfBoard. did not fail managed to get Rockstar Since a golfer on a GolfBoard in use, you drinks, candies, and cookies from Sir Winston Churchill called golf “a good GolfBoard weighs much less than a golf can see at once how it makes golfing a very Wal-Mart... before he escaped on foot cart, the four-inch-wide wheels are a lot different experience: it’s faster and more walk spoiled.” One wonders how he would through nearby blackberry brambles. easier on the turf. That not only reduces exhilarating, as you zip over the rolling feel cruising a GolfBoard. Corvallis Advocate | 3 By Kiki Genoa Breaking MewsOSU Welcomes Humans for Pet Day reetings, four-legged citizens of Enjoy hundreds of animal-related either veterinarian or Beaver-themed gear, GCorvallis! Whether you’re covered in activities and contests like an indoor depending on their level of passion. fur, scales, or feathers, this reptile exhibition, a tail-wagging Saturday is your time to shine. competition, teddy bear surgery Pet Day is free for all to attend, though Come celebrate Pet Day at clinic, and a dog wash for nominal fees are required for some booths Oregon State University, an muddy mutts. Expect a crushing and events. Children are welcome, as are annual event that celebrates avalanche of cuteness when dogs, but leashes are required—that is, for creatures of all kinds while meeting the OSU Sheep Club’s the dogs. educating the public on pet baby lambs, and don’t forget to Pet Day is on Saturday, May 2 from 10 a.m. health and safety. Festivities pay a visit to this year’s newest By Dave DeLuca to 4 p.m. at Magruder Hall. Visit http:// are held in and outside of animals, which include goslings vetmed.oregonstate.edu/pet-day for more OSU’s College of Veterinary and miniature donkeys. Art Between Medicine, with an expected information, as well as for instructions on turnout of 3,000 to 4,000 Saturday’s prime event is a photo how to enter your cat in an online photo the Stacks people and about 100 of their canine booth where owners can take pictures contest—because you know he’s too cool to go Free Library Art Tour May 5 companions. of themselves and their pets dressed in in person. he next time you’re hunting By Summer Noller Tfor just the right read amid the stacks of books at the central Grain to Glass Education library, take a look around. You OSU Research Brewery Gets Frothy Beer Guy Donation might be surprised to notice quite regon State University’s fermentation industry of craft brewing. after expanding Grupo Modello by exporting a few works of art and sculpture science program is one of only the Corona brand into America, founded hidden on the walls and hanging O two programs nationwide offering Donor Carlos Alvarez is the chairman the Grambrinus Company in 1986 which from the ceilings. Volunteers and and chief executive officer of San Antonio- undergraduate and graduate degrees. imported Modello brand beer employees of the library have long based beer company The program is part of OSU’s prestigious into the US for 20 years. He also been committed to enriching the the Grambrinus Department of Food Science and Technology acquired the Spoetzl Brewery library experience through the use Company, which and BridgePort Brewery before and it recently received a big boost, a $1 owns BridgePort of art. In 1992, $50,000 was raised founding his own brewery, the million donation towards building a state-of- Brewing in Portland, to integrate art into the design and Trumer Brewery. Alvarez has the-art research brewery in Wiegand Hall. a longtime partner of construction of the library’s most also served on the board of OSU’s fermentation recent expansion. The massive Within the new brewing facility, students trustees for Davidson College science program. He building remodel included seven will learn, as Tom Shellhammer, OSU’s graduated with a and has always been a patron of architectural projects, and plenty Nor’Wester Professor of Fermentation degree in biochemical education. This is only the latest of new art has been added since. Science, puts it, “a ‘Grain to Glass’ engineering from the Monterry Institute of his philanthropic deeds, and he hopes it Freda Vars served as chairman of education.” The facility will also provide of Technology in Monterry, Mexico, and, will pay off by further vitalizing the already the Library Expansion Committee space for OSU’s research in the science and vibrant craft brewing culture in Oregon. back in 1989, and serves as a member of the current Library By Nathan Hermanson Foundation. The Foundation helps ajestic esurgent nd find and oversee much of the M R Long 2 Street Nightmare Seems Over non-allocated funding for library services, including art. This role t the Majestic Membership Gala, in management. The Majestic’s shift into bevy of events that Ivy hopes will lead to entrusts them with the responsibility Acommunity members and officials being a production-focused facility has led weekend after weekend of worthy business of continuing to improve the user behind the Majestic Theatre’s resurgence to a higher volume of community-driven within the facility. experience of Corvallis’ most public came together at the end of what can only productions, which in turn has led to higher Following Ivy, two community theater building. Vars feels the presence of be described as a campaign trail. Months ticket sales and increased interest in the leaders called for public involvement in art in the library is a great asset for of public forums, one-on-one meetings, theater. their respective associations. The Corvallis the people of Corvallis. and information gathering on what the public wants have led to some drastic Ivy’s talk also focused heavily on the Community Theatre and Friends of the “For some of these people, it’s their changes in the theater’s importance of hearing from Majestic are holding an open call for only exposure to art,” she said. business practices, all with the community, calling for members of the community to get involved a clear focus on serving the the public to let the Majestic with the local theater scene. With the recent In April, Vars began sharing her community. know what it is they want to spike in success and positive changes within expertise and experience with the see. Whether it is submitting the Majestic, now is the time to jump on public. She now leads monthly Held on April 25, the event an idea for a play through board. tours of the library itself, highlighting featured a review of the the theater’s website or even the art displayed, and hosts lively Majestic’s finances, a look stopping by and knocking on Regardless of the theater’s shaky past, there question and answer sessions. Her back at where the Majestic Ivy’s office door to ask for more is a clear effort being made to rectify any unique perspective with the library came from, and a recap dance classes hosted at the problems the theater had, and all the staff allows Vars to provide insight on of how the Parks and Rec Majestic, Ivy encourages public behind the Majestic’s changes are hoping to both the art and the history of the department came through to feedback. raise the community up with them in the building. save the theater from falling process. With all the work being put into into obscurity. It all wrapped up with a “The community’s the board,” said Ivy. “I’m the Majestic’s revival, community members To attend the next free tour and look into the promising years ahead for the directly in charge of what happens at the owe it to themselves to visit the theater and question and answer session, Majestic. facility and pretty much, you’re directly in check out what it has to offer. meet in the first-floor lobby on charge of me. So come tell me what to do, Tuesday, May 5 at 10 a.m. For First to take the stage was Jimbo Ivy, and I’m willing to do that.” Next up on the Majestic’s schedule is a 5 to more information, go to www. the new supervisor hired by Parks and 1 Theatre Ensemble performance of their cbcpubliclibrary.net. Rec once they took control with the New Intermixed with the eight or so main stage original satirical comedy Those Crazy Reds, Year. Ivy spoke about how the Majestic productions and the educational programs starting on April 30 and running through has thrived profitably since the turnover held in the Majestic’s classrooms are a May 2 in the Majestic Lab Theatre. 4 | Corvallis Advocate By Johnny Beaver s the tate urns A SLawyers in Wolves’T Clothing, Mussel Stop, Vape Is a Thing, Snores from All Over

Oregon to No Longer All I can say is... brace yourselves, looking vape gear, taking random Cry Wolf? the lawsuits are coming. puffs out of nowhere like they’ve got Perhaps! Just last week the some kind of rapid onset illness that Oregon Fish and Wildlife warlords Ohio Strikes First Blow: Invasive can only be cured with the foggy announced it’s time to reconsider Mussels elixir of Ragadashoon. the gray wolf’s position on the state Mussels. You know ‘em, I know ‘em. endangered species list. In the mid And apparently now Oregon is going Offended? Well, too bad. You look to get to know some more of them, 1940s, Oregon seemed completely weird and creepy and nobody likes as wildlife officials just got done void of wolves, but in recent years you. taking a crowbar to a boat from Ohio they have rebounded like a boss. that was absolutely infested with Oregon Brewing Feud Eru-... Starting with a few adventurous the damn things. Zebra mussels, ::snores:: individuals crossing over from Idaho feel they say... which I don’t believe a Salem’s Statesman Journal and in the 1990s, state biologists now confident word of because they make zero Portland’s Willamette Week are think we have about 77 wolves living about the horse sounds whatsoever, are in going toe-to-toe over comments made within our invisible borders. That’s transaction. But Oprah’s “Breakin’ Stuff of the Month regarding the brewery scenes in right, little Timmy, that comes out there are problems... Club,” as they’ve racked up billions either city. In the end they both lose to exactly nine packs and eight problems indeed. Terrible of dollars in damage around the to Corvallis anyway, so who cares. breeding couples! problems. This problem: the state country. In more exciting news, Portland’s is slow and customers sometimes While some are definitive advocates Currently the Pacific Northwest is new amateur baseball team is called have to wait a few hours for the for delisting, others, believe it or one of a select few domestic locales “The Pickles,” which, well... ::snores check to be processed. not, hold opposite opinions. Some that have yet to be given tickets to again::. consider 77 to be far too low for any OH. MY. GOD. this particular gun show. All that species to be considered for removal Ugh, sorry. In other news, Oregon’s stands between us and mussely I mean, Nick is on to something from their endangered status, Two Rivers Correctional Institution oblivion is a 2011 law that requires here. What happens if you’re in suggesting that wolves are being has begun a new program: hauling boats to stop at checkpoints desperate need of a hand cannon, treated differently because select ROC. Which somehow stands for inspection. to fight off ninjas that are after individuals are all like “ermahgerd, for Rehabilitating Canines and your family, so you pop into a gun werves!” The western-most two Clark County Just Offenders. Dogs go in, train with expo, run up to Nick (passing up thirds of the state fall under the Says ‘Sorta’ over a dozen inmates, dogs go out— the JERKY JERKY JERKY booth) federal Endangered Species Act as The Board of Health in good ready to take on the world. And be and point at the shiniest thing on well, but many consider the state old Clark County is considering adopted by people. And... ::snores:: redundancy to be an important regulations for e-cigarettes this the table... but lo, hark, gadzooks... Gah, okay, I apologize. I haven’t protection to keep in place. week. The proposed ordinance would the ninjas catch up to you before been sleeping lately, and last night roughly impose the same restrictions everyone is sure you’re not a total I dreamt I was being attacked by Way back in 2011, before toilet on e-cigs as are on conventional psychopatch? Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder, paper was invented, Congress cigarettes. If passed, this would only he had Benedict Cumberbatch’s The obvious solution is to inflate federally delisted wolves for most seem an end to the golden age of the face. Bastard scurried about like the number of state employees of eastern Oregon, and just last vape, as it would finally see some Art Robinson. Anyway, for some processing gun background checks Thursday some congressional regulation beyond prohibited sale to real news, Nick Russel, owner of tenfold. But no, no, they won’t do representative from Washington minors. introduced a bill that would see Albany Guns, Coins, and Jewelry that. There hasn’t been a single wolves delisted throughout the Yes, folks. This means Clark County (the trailer trash holy trinity) says ninja attack in the history of the entire states of Utah, Washington, might be the place to go if you want that background checks for guns are state of Oregon, but when that first and Oregon. It’s like dude, mind a break from watching all of those great. Why? Because at the end of one strikes, you better bet your a*s your own business. weirdos carrying around theirOpenvForvBreakfast,v dorky the process, both seller and buyer it’ll be on those goddamn liberals. OpenvvLunch,v&vDinnerl For Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner! Farmers’ Markets: Now ServingNowvServingvFullvBreakfastvDaily Full Breakfast on Weekends Taste the farm-direct difference! 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Corvallis Advocate | 5 By Maggie Nelson elcome to orvallis ow ake a ike W C , NFive-Minute T Drives for Neighborhood H Trails

orvallis is a hub for all levels of trail offers a great wooden path option Chikers. From nearly every point for hikers who don’t feel like wading in the city, you can find a hiking trail through the mud during the winter of some kind in about five minutes months. This entire area showcases or less. With spring nipping at our some serious old-growth forest and heels, we’ve decided to make you a Cronemiller Lake, a glorified greenish quintessential neighborhood hikes lagoon really, which sits alongside “mix tape,” if you will. an old dynamite cap house, now functioning as a location for the Let’s Begin with Bald Hill Park university’s logging competitions. This is a great spot for novice hikers, but enjoyable for all. The park area You can further avoid muddy trails itself has several options for hiking, by hitting up the 500 service road, including low incline and concrete which leads to the McDonald Forest pathways, hilly trails, off-leash and begins at the Peavy Arboretum areas for dogs, and more strenuous parking area. What it lacks in mud trails that head up the hill to Fitton the 500 road hike makes up for in Green—and it’s all just a few minutes serious elevation gain that will leave from the center of town. The trails you heaving and huffing if you are not range from livestock fields to more accustomed to such exercise. This hike heavily wooded, narrow trails that is great for observing old-growth trees, lead to the top of the hill, where on but lacks that climactic vista so many a clear day you can see the Cascade other trails in the area have. Covering Mountains. Bald Hill is great for a around 7,250 acres, McDonald Forest quick, spontaneous hike, but if you offers many other options for hiking, mean business when you strap on your biking, and outdoor recreation. Merrells, you might want to consider Outside Philomath taking the Mulkey Ridge Trail that are well worth the time and energy. Chip Ross Park & Dimple Hill If you’re feeling a little more connects Bald Hill and Fitton Green, These hikes are located shortly before Same trailhead, two different hikes. adventurous and don’t mind the or one of Corvallis’s several other reaching Crescent Valley High School, Chip Ross is a moderately easy hike resonating sound of gunshots, Marys options. roughly 10 minutes by car from the offering a sweeping valley view at 270 Peak might be just the spot for you. center of town; take Highland, then Fitton Green feet of elevation gain in about 15 or 20 At 4,097 feet, it is the highest point on turn left on Lester Avenue which This is another moderate-level hiking minutes. It’s a loop, with a nice change the Oregon Coast Range. This is one of dead-ends at the trailhead. spot with some breathtaking views. of scenery going back down. The other Corvallis’ most popular hikes and for The trail extends a total of 4.3 miles, option is Dimple Hill, a decent booty- Peavy Arboretum good reason. From the top you can see involves quite a few elevation changes, blaster of a hike. The total elevation In the 1930s, Peavy Arboretum was both the Pacific Ocean and the peaks and takes about two hours. There are gain is about 1,450 feet, which is the site of a Civilian Conservation of the Cascades to the east. There are some gravel and dirt pathways which almost two-thirds the gain of the trail Corp (CCC) camp; today it is one of a range of different levels of hikes of get very muddy during non-summer for Marys Peak, but in a significantly Corvallis’ best hike locations. Peavy various lengths from just a short hour- months. But the views of Marys Peak shorter amount of time. This trail is Arboretum is located about six miles and-a-half to about a half-day trek. and the valley are worth trudging a true loop hike and only lasts about north of Corvallis and acts as a sort The elevation gain gets a little raw on through knee-high muck, even on a three hours. Like many other trails of gateway to the McDonald-Dunn some of these trails, so choose your rainy Corvallis day. in the area, the views from the top Forest, an OSU-owned forest. The steps wisely.

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20110350_0323_2x3_MonMad_db.indd6 | Corvallis 1Advocate 3/22/2011 11:18:43 AM By Rachel Sandstrom Happiest Hours in Town Getting Your Drink on, Early

etting a beer or a nice drink in food menu accompanies the drinks and drinks are so good. Casual and lagers.” They are not exaggerating Gthis town is easy. But a good and is quite comprehensive, with $4 atmosphere and great drink specials. on their quality and their local-focus. happy hour—not always easy to ahi tostadas, $2 chicken tacos, and $5 Their $3.50 microbrews are usually What’s not to love? navigate. We’ve got no shortage of habanero-apricot wings. Quality food local, and their original drinks are Suds and Suds, 30 Beers on Tap bars and restaurants, but where do and booze in this casual atmosphere $6! They infuse their own booze Casual beer-drinking environment, you go when you want to get a little make for a more than pleasant and create amazingly creative and sports on TV, Big Buck Hunter in the sloshed during the day? This list is by drinking experience. Try their weekly interesting cocktails with seasonal corner, and pizza? Suds and Suds has no means comprehensive, but these specials, such as Whisky Wednesday flair. Try something yummy, and it all, more than you could ever need. are some of our top picks. or Thirsty Thursday. pair it with something delicious from It’s a lofty claim, but the best place to American Dream. Visit for “Slice and Rarefied Buzz at Luc For Classic Cocktails in a get a beer in town is Suds and Suds, a Pint” Sunday! Don’t forget about If you’re looking for a classy buzz, Speakeasy Atmosphere, the bar attached to Woodstock’s Pizza. happy hour at Luc is available Try Snug Bar! the seasonal rooftop. Open 4:30 to They offer 30 beer taps, knowledgeable Wednesday through Sunday from Tucked underneath Magenta 6:30 p.m. and 11 p.m. to midnight, and friendly bartenders, and brewery 4:30 to 6 p.m. Luc offers $5 happy Restaurant, down the stairs towards a everyday. promos that happen regularly. Happy hour drinks, wines of the day (red, speakeasy entrance, Snug Bar greets Get Hoppy at Sky High hour is 6 to 7 p.m. everyday, with white, or sparkling), and cocktails you like a hug waiting to happen. Local craft brewery Sky High Brewing $3.75 pints. Keep an eye out for from champagne to Manhattan, with Seating is ample, and the couches has a killer rooftop patio, amazing Industry Night on Monday nights, a martini in the middle. Their food are deep and invite you to sit down beers of all styles, and tasty food. and beer promos on some Thursdays. menu includes soup, greens, bone and stay awhile. Jazzy music and Their Philly cheesesteak is better Discounted pints make for a fun marrow, oysters, and sweetbreads, all French New Wave films complete than whatever spray cheese they use evening while you watch a game or from $3 to $6! They project old black- the transportation to the time of in Philadelphia. Pair it with a great talk to the other lively patrons. It’s and-white movies onto the wall and Prohibition. Happy hour starts at 4:30 brew during their happy (hoppy) hour cash only, so be prepared. the whole place is a haven. p.m. and includes discounted drinks when pints and house cocktails are and food specials. We all know that these are not the A Classic Pub Feel at $1 less! Open 2:30 to 5:30 p.m. daily, only places in town to drink on the Downward Dog Quirky Creative at Crowbar including weekends. The service is cheap, or even at all. With many local Monday through Sunday from 4 to 7 If you’re looking for an interesting great, food and drinks are top, and it’s craft brewing establishments, from p.m. and 10 p.m. to close, Downward space and quirky/creative cocktails, all local, local, local. In their words, beer to cider, wine to vodka, Corvallis Dog offers drink specials, $1 PBR, $3 Crowbar is your place. Crowbar is they “combine local know-how and has everything you need to get a nice micros, $4 libations, and $5.50 wine! the bar attached to the downtown quality ingredients with highly skilled buzz on. Try these places, and all the They’ve got a great tap selection, and American Dream Pizza. A small space fermentation, cellar and draught other ones in town. Stay tuned for our the wines are top notch. The late-night that crowds quickly, the bartenders practices to pour you spectacular ales next list of happy hours!

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Corvallis Advocate | 7 By Kyra Young Swapping Cap & Gown for Interview Apparel Practical Dress-for-Success Hints

ou’re graduating college, five pairs of super-comfy boots and no Ycongratulations! Seems like the pairs of interview shoes; and finally, cool thing to do these days, especially TJ Maxx has a great selection, decent in Corvallis. But suddenly you prices, but unlike Goodwill, you will realize you’re not a cool kid anymore, miss out on the knowledge that the you’re a frightened, whimpering, shoes you are wearing have been pathetically terrified fledgling adult more places than you, so if you’re who hasn’t learned to fly yet—and by insecure about your adventurous fly, we mean wrestle a job interview side, this is probably the place for into submission. you.

The first step in learning to fly is not Next up, the age-old debate: looking like a pathetic, whimpering pants or skirt. If you are male, adult to an interviewer. You will need and you are not interviewing to be to dress if you want success, and it is the mascot at your favorite Scottish simpler than you think. watering hole, you will probably want to wear pants. You want blue, khaki, Let’s start from the ground up: or black slacks that fit nicely on your shoes. Most people know this, but waist (this isn’t prison, y’all) and that you should not wear your dirty, come to the bottom of the heel of your disgusting sneakers that smell like a shoe, just above the ground. You will small rodent died in them four weeks want to wear high black socks, so ago. Your potential boss can smell that when you sit down, there is no them from his desk. You will want ankle skin showing. Ladies, you can a pair of nice shoes that won’t kill in a moment. Selection is important, make sure you disinfect them before wear slacks if you like. Make sure your feet but that look nice and shiny so check out some of these places you wear them; Sedlak’s in downtown they fit nicely, without being too tight peeking out from under your fabulous when buying your shoes: Goodwill Corvallis has comfy shoes—just make or too low on your waist. You can also pants or skirt that we will talk about has lots of shoes at low prices—just sure you don’t get distracted and buy wear a nice pencil skirt in the same

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8 | Corvallis Advocate range of colors. The skirt should be You will need to have these items Finally, always make sure to be clean longer than the tips of your fingers fitted, so go to Mehlhaf’s or Specialty and fresh. Men, this means either when your arms hang straight down Sewing by Leslie for help. Ladies, trimming your beard or being clean- Gathering at your sides. You can find all of these you can also wear a ladies’ suit jacket shaven, not hung over, and ready for Together Farm things at TJ Maxx, Ross, Second over a nice top. Let’s talk about that action. Ladies, make sure your hair Glance downtown for women, and top for a moment. While certain is presentable; you don’t have to go Restaurant Mehlhaf’s Clothiers downtown for professions are an exception, that‘s nuts, but it’s best if it is out of your men. You can also try the Alley for probably not the type of place you eyes. Men downtown, a great secondhand would use a college degree, so it’s place. best to be a bit modest. Make sure If all else fails, remember the words that when you buy a top, it is not of the little orphan Annie: you’re Shirts are next. Men, no skater- extremely tight, it covers most of never fully dressed without a smile. I boy T-shirts for you! A long-sleeved your chest (V-necks with a camisole mean, she scored big, being adopted button-up that slightly contrasts your underneath are perfect for this), by a millionaire and all, so she must pants is appropriate for less formal and that the pattern, if it has one, know what she’s talking about! Just interviews, but if you are feeling a is both appropriate and subtle. You follow these simple tips, and soon you little insecure, you can always wear a can always accessorize with simple will turn the weak, sniveling victim of long-sleeved white button-up with a jewelry, just make sure to not go over college into a confident, hard-working tie and suit jacket for any interview. the top. member of society! Good for you! Open for the season! By Rob Goffins Now enjoy Saturday dinners Don’t Overdress Either Lunch First, please take the advice Kyra is laying out for you. We of the would-be boss persuasion look for all sorts of signs 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Tuesday-Friday from job seekers, cues for how well you will get along with everyone else at an organization being the primary Dinner subconscious and unavoidable one. Is that fair? Perhaps not, but it seems inexorably human. 5:30 to 9 p.m. Thursday-Saturday Gentlemen, you may actually need Armani to nail that job at some places, but probably not. It could be a Saturday Brunch liability if you are so much better dressed than everyone currently working at a place that it’s off-putting. Ladies, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. the same applies to you—with a special caveat. Do not wear anything that would be appropriate alongside a man in a tux. Some of you do this at job interviews and we interviewers have no clue why, but it is off-putting. Farm Stand Hours: 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday Finally, of all the other hints one could posit outside of attire: be on time and, for crying out loud, be yourself—we hate having to guess who you are.

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Corvallis Advocate | 9 CALENDAR 4/30-5/7 Thursday, Apr. 30 Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 10 p.m. Cost: $3 to one or more local agencies. Its mission www.grassrootsbookstore.com. traveled across the country, stopping at open to $5. A tribute night to Tom Petty. For info, is to empower women through service and mic nights in comedy clubs as she went. A high Window on Art. Footwise, 301 SW visit http://cloudandkellys.com/music_and_ advocacy. For info, visit 541-286-4340. Raptor Conservation school drop-out, she went on to become one Madison Ave. All day. Colleen Kitchen will Program Summer Series of the great humorists of our time. For info, nightlife. Those Scary Reds. Majestic Lab create an art display with bottle caps in the Launch. Chintimini Wildlife Center, 311 visit http://oregonstate.edu/lasells/events. Footwise display window. Buckin’ Thursday Western Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $10 ($8 for members, seniors, students). An original NW Lewisburg Ave. 10:30 a.m. Donations Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Jack Okole’s Bar & Grill, 140 NW Triple Play. Wine Tasting. First Alternative Coop, Night. play satirizing the 1950’s Red Scare by the 5 appreciated. This weekly event will feature Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Acoustic rock. For 3rd St. 10 p.m. Cover: $2. For ages 21 and North Store, 2855 NW Grant Ave. 5 – 7 p.m. to 1 Theatre Ensemble. For mature audiences free flying birds of prey, children’s activities, info, visit http://imaginecoffee.net. Featuring Mitchell Wines. For info, visit http:// older. The premier Western night. For info, visit only. For info, visit www.majestic.org/those- and conservation-themed talks suited for all www.facebook.com/jackokoles. firstalt.coop. scary-reds. ages. This first event will focus on the events Those Scary Reds. Majestic Lab and activities planned for the summer and Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $10 Michelle Hazelton. Peacock Bar Friday, May 1 McDougall. Calapooia Brewing discuss the goals for the new program. For ($8 for members, seniors, students). An original & Grill, 125 SW 2nd St. 7 – 8 p.m. No cover; tip Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 – 9:30 info, contact 541-745-5324 or Heeschz64@ play satirizing the 1950’s Red Scare by the 5 jar show. Minors welcome till 8 p.m. Enjoy a Insight Meditation Group. p.m. Folk, old-time, and blues. For info, call gmail.com. Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Corvallis, to 1 Theatre Ensemble. For mature audiences late dinner or a few drinks with friends while 541-928-1931 or visit http://calapooiabrewing. 2945 NW Circle Blvd. 10:30 a.m. Free. A only. For info, visit www.majestic.org/those- listening to Hazelton’s acoustic styles. com/blog/live-music-and-events. Community Dialogue: scary-reds. small, friendly meditation group practicing in What Does It Mean to Be Flinn’s Steakhouse, the Insight Meditation (Theravada Buddhist) Flinn’s Steakhouse, 222 1st Ave., Live Blues Jam. Satisfi. First Alternative Natural Foods, BluEvolution. Calapooia Brewing tradition. Everyone is welcome. For info, Albany. 8 – 11 p.m. Cost: $3. Reggae band White? 222 W 1st Ave., Albany. 7 – 9 p.m. Every South Co-op Meeting Room, 1007 SE 3rd Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 – 9:30 p.m. contact [email protected]. from Portland. For info, call 541-928-3052 or Thursday. Free. For info, visit www. St. 11 a.m. – noon. Donations accepted. Blues band from Salem. For info, call 541-928- flinnsrestaurant.com/home.html. Music à la Carte. Memorial Union visit www.flinnsrestaurant.com/concerts.html. Respectful community dialogue facilitated by 1931 or visit http://calapooiabrewing.com/ blog/live-music-and-events. Nature’s Trust: Lecture Lounge, 2501 SW Jefferson Way. 12 – 12:45 Flashback Friday. Jack Okole’s the Corvallis chapter of Showing Up for Racial p.m. Free. Mom’s weekend kickoff with The Justice. For info, contact Faith Reidenbach at with Mary Wood. LaSells Stewart Bar & Grill, 140 NW 3rd St. 9 p.m. Country Stairway Denied. Bombs Away Julians, a female vocal quintet. These “brown music flashback with DJ Jess. For info, visit 541-609-8420 or [email protected]. Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 10 p.m. Cost: $10. Center, Construction & Engineering Hall, 875 bag” concerts showcase a wide variety of SW 26th St. 7 – 10 p.m. Free. As the originator www.facebook.com/jackokoles. From Sentence to Essay: A Gathered together to pay tribute to one of the musicians and performance ensembles. Bring most beloved and influential bands in rock of the approach called “Atmospheric Trust a lunch or purchase something from one of Mayhem Fridays. Riley’s Billiards Writing Workshop. Corvallis Litigation” to hold governments worldwide history, Led Zeppelin, drummer Chris Harver, several restaurants in the MU. For info, contact Bar & Grill, 124 SW Broadalbin St., Albany. 9 Public Library, Main Meeting Room, 645 NW guitarists Curtis Monette and Dylan Nelson, accountable for reducing carbon pollution 541-737-4061 or [email protected]. p.m. Featuring DJ Clint. For info, call 541-926- Monroe Ave. 1 – 4:30 p.m. Free. Join acclaimed within their jurisdictions, Wood’s research is multi-instrumentalist Dusty Stallings, and 2838 or visit www.facebook.com/pages/Rileys- local authors Aria Menu-Sepehr and George vocalist Noah Stroup uniquely meld the fiery being used in cases and petitions brought on Walking with Poles for Billiards-Bar-Grill/420896604690340. Estreich for a free writing workshop on the behalf of children and youth throughout the improvisation of Zeppelin’s live performances Mobility and Exercise. Yoga art of the personal essay. Registration is with the intricate, multi-layered arrangements United States and in other countries. Event Center of Corvallis, 111 NW 2nd St. 1:30 – 3 Lowdown. Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, required. For info, contact 541-766-6793 or is sponsored by the League of Women Voters 126 SW 1st St. 10 p.m. No cover. A festive of their studio work. For info, visit www. p.m. Runs Fridays through May 1. Cost: $45. [email protected]. bombsawaycafe.com. of Corvallis, Oregon State University-School Designed for people experiencing balance or dance party showcasing local DJs. For info, of History Philosophy & Religion, and Spring walking challenges and those who want to visit http://cloudandkellys.com/music_and_ Meet the Author: Greg Creek Project. For info, visit http://oregonstate. experience enhanced uprightness, flexibility, nightlife. Warburton. Grass Roots Books & Sunday, May 3 edu/lasells/events. comfort, and confidence in walking. Learn Saturday, May 2 Music, 227 SW 2nd St. 3 p.m. Free. Stop by for Yoga for Recovery. Live Well Those Scary Reds. Majestic Lab to adjust and properly use walking poles in a reading and signing of Warburton’s Winning Studio, 971 Spruce Ave. 12:30 – 1:45 p.m. Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $10 varied situations while restoring flexibility James Warren’s Story Time System: Tapping and Other Transformational For recovery from substance abuse, eating ($8 for members, seniors, students). An original and enhancing upright posture. Poles Mental Training Tools for Athletes. For info, disorders, codependency. By donation. For info, for Kids. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW visit www.grassrootsbookstore.com. play satirizing the 1950’s Red Scare by the 5 available if needed. Class size limited. For info, visit www.livewellstudio.com. contact Marg Bartosek at 541-286-4678 or Philomath Blvd. 10 a.m. Free. For info, visit to 1 Theatre Ensemble. For mature audiences [email protected]. http://imaginecoffee.net. Beltane (May Day) Blues Jam. Calapooia Brewing, 140 only. For info, visit www.majestic.org/those- Legislative Town Hall Celebration. Unitarian Universalist NW Hill St., Albany. 4 p.m. Every Sunday. Get scary-reds. A Change is Gonna’ Come. Fellowship of Corvallis Sanctuary, 2945 NW out, get in, and get some on ya! For info, visit Corvallis Public Library, Main Meeting Room, Meeting: What Keeps Us Imagine Coffee, Circle Blvd. 7 p.m. Come dance around the http://calapooiabrewing.com/blog/live-music- Natalia Corbitt. 645 NW Monroe Ave. 7:30 p.m. To highlight 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 – 9 p.m. Guitar/ Awake at Night? Corvallis Public maypole to celebrate the beginning of the and-events. May Day, this will be a fun and inspiring Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. 10 – 11:30 three months of the year with the most vocals. For info, visit http://imaginecoffee.net. reflection on the history of labor struggles a.m. Public welcome. Senator Sara Gelser, daylight and the sacred union of the masculine Relax and Recharge. Willamette and how labor movements have historically Representative Andy Olson, Representative and the feminine. Bring flowers. Finger food is Wellness Center, 6735 SW Country Club Dr. Wild Hog in the Woods. intersected with issues such as war and 5 – 6 p.m. Learn practical stress management Calapooia Brewing, 140 NW Hill St., Albany. Dan Rayfield, and Representative Mike appreciated for sharing afterward. For info, call peace, and gender, environmental, and racial techniques for use in daily life to relax, 7:30 p.m. Kickin’ stringband music! For info, Nearman will participate. Presented by the Roz Keeney at 541-619-7679 or Cliff Pereira at justice. Readings, song and plenty of audience League of Women Voters. Co-sponsored by 541-753-9224. recharge, and remain centered within. For info, visit http://calapooiabrewing.com/blog/live- participation. This event is also preamble to call 541-929-5555 or visit www.fitnessover50. music-and-events. the library. For info, call Doris Waring at 541- the fourth annual May Day Solidarity Fair to be 752-4635. Mid-Valley Belly Dance info/programming.html. Melanie Reid and Friends. held May 30 in Corvallis Central Park. For info, Collective. Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd Presentation: 12 Easy Steps Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 visit www.vfpcorvallis.org. Indie Bookstore Day Party. St. 7 – 9 p.m. Suggested donation: $5. For info, Grass Roots Books & Music, 227 SW 2nd St. to a Sustainable Garden. p.m. Cost: $1 to $5. Legendary songstress/ Corvallis High School call 541-752-8549. musician brings classic folk rock and bluesy 10 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. Celebrate the inaugural Corvallis Public Library, Main Meeting jazz back to BAC with special friends. For info, Zonta Club Open Mic. Imagine Independent Bookstore Day featuring Paula Poundstone. LaSells Room, 645 NW Monroe Ave. 6:30 p.m. This visit www.bombsawaycafe.com. Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. discounts and book giveaways, author meet Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 7 and 9:30 presentation by Lane County Master Gardener Free. Donations accepted. Each school year, Z and greets, Brigittine Monk fudge tasting, and p.m. Cost: $34 to $38. Thirty-two years ago, Jody Fairchild will cover components of the Angry Young Men. Cloud & Kelly’s Club raises money in order to make donations Mazama Brewery brew tasting. For info, visit Poundstone climbed on a Greyhound bus and Wildlife in the Garden program, discussing Coffee... l Ha ca n University Cuts o d L c Located in the M.U. on campus r , a h f

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Fades, Line-ups, ROTC Cuts & More! www.coffeecultureroasters.com 10 | Corvallis Advocate at Impulse Bar & Grill. A Cuban dance party held each week featuring the awesome music of Cuba. Under 21 can be at Impulse Ongoing April-May Events... until 10 p.m. For info, visit www.rumbanana. Albany Farmers’ Market. the carving studio, see and touch over two 12 – 1 p.m. First Mondays. Cost: $5 (free com. org. SW Ellsworth St. and SW 4th Ave. 9 a.m. dozen carvings in progress. For info, visit for members). All tours start promptly. Once Trivia Night. Applebee’s, 1915 – 1 p.m. Runs through Nov. 21. Features www.albanycarousel.com. a tour enters the building the doors are Corvallis Guitar Society NE Four Acre St. 9 – 11 p.m. Every Tuesday. fresh, locally grown, locally produced dairy, closed and joining the tour is not permitted. Meeting. Gracewinds Music “What Do You Know?” trivia. Seven rounds meat, and farm goods. For info, visit http:// History Inspectors: Videography of any kind is not permitted. Lesson’s Loft, 137 SW 3rd St. 7 – 9 with 10 questions per round. Different locallygrown.org/home. Exhibit-Based Scavenger Admission is paid at the door on the day p.m. First Mondays. Free; donations categories weekly. For info, visit www. Hunt. Albany Regional Museum, 136 of the tour. For info or reservations, contact accepted. Established to promote classical facebook.com/ApplebeesCorvallisOR. Corvallis Farmers’ SE Lyon St. Tuesday through Friday: 11 a.m. [email protected] with guitar and related styles in the central Market. NW Jackson Ave. and NW – 4 p.m.; Saturday: 10 a.m. – 2 p.m. Free; name, any special arrangements, and the Willamette Valley area, the meetings are Wednesday, May 6 number in the group. 1st St. 9 a.m. – 1 p.m. Saturdays and donations accepted. Kids can discover the an opportunity to meet fellow guitarists as Cloud & Kelly’s, Wednesdays. Runs through Nov. 25. answers to Albany’s history while visiting well as perform and listen to guitar music Infinite Improv. Choreography by 126 SW 1st St. First Wednesdays. The Features fresh, locally grown, locally the museum and earn the title of ARM in a supportive environment. May’s meeting produced dairy, meat, and farm goods. For Alexandra Schaefers. The hilarious improv antics of the Infinite Improv History Inspector. Includes an activity sheet. will feature members of the Guitar Society info, visit http://locallygrown.org/home. Arts Center, Corrine Woodman Gallery, folks. For info, call 541-753-9900. For info, call 541-967-7122 or visit www. Board performing duet, ensemble, and armuseum.com/history-inspectors. 700 SW Madison Ave. Noon – 5 p.m. Fun-with-the-Animals Tuesday through Saturday through May 23. solo compositions. The society is open to Mr. Bill’s Trivia Night. Work Party. Lighthouse Farm ‘Something Old, Schaefers celebrates the beauty of ordinary all ages and abilities. For info, visit www. Murphy’s Restaurant & Lounge, 2740 SW 3rd corvallisguitarsociety.org. St. 7 – 10 p.m. The fun begins with a tuxedo- Sanctuary, 36831 Richardson Gap Rd., Scio. Something Blue.’ Benton moments by combining poetry and visual Wednesdays: 10 a.m. – noon; Saturdays: 10 art. For info, visit http://theartscenter.net. clad Mr. Bill inviting everyone to form a team County Historical Museum, 1101 Main First a.m. – 1 p.m. Free. For all ages and abilities. Ukulele Cabaret. and play trivia “Mr. Bill’s” style. For info, visit St., Philomath. Tuesday through Saturday: Alternative South Store, 1007 SE 3rd St. Work parties provide the sanctuary’s 10 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. Runs through Oct. The Majestic Reader’s www.mrbillstrivia.com/index.html. abused, abandoned, or neglected farm Theater. The Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 7 – 9 p.m. First Fridays. Free. This is an open 24. The exhibition showcases artifacts mic and sing-along for ukulele players of Cheap Night at the animals with clean water, bedding, and from the combined Horner Museum and 2nd Ave. 3 – 5 p.m. and 7 – 9 p.m. Cost: $10 all ages and skill levels. Songbooks and living conditions. No RSVP required; Benton County Historical Society artifact ($8 for students and seniors). Last Sundays. Darkside Cinema. Darkside just show up wearing farm apparel and collections, with an emphasis on the color The company will offer a production in the instruction are provided. Bring snacks to Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. Cost: $7 for all boots. For info, contact 503-394-4486 or blue. Sub-themes include blue in nature, art, “reader’s theater” style: trained actors, with share. Hosted by Suz Doyle and Jeanne shows on Wednesday (and every day before [email protected]. fashion, school colors, uniforms, decorative scripts in hand, make the play come alive Holmes of the Wallop Sisters. For info, call 6 p.m.). Bring a container for discounted arts, and more. The museum has also through vocal talent, facial expressions, 541-753-8530. prices on popcorn. For info, visit http:// Albany Historic Carousel borrowed something new: man-made blue and minimal staging. Reader’s theater plays darksidecinema.com/index.html. and Museum. 503 W 1st Ave. 10 are a fun, accessible way to experience Reiki Healing Circle. 8285 pigment from the Oregon State University LMNO. Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW a.m. – 4 p.m. Monday through Saturday. Department of Chemistry. contemporary works by famous modern NW Wynoochee Dr. 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. First In the lobby, view finished animals and playwrights that might not otherwise be Thursdays. Donation: $5 to $10. All students Monroe Ave. 7:30 p.m. Free. New local watch the painters work on a number of Whiteside Theatre Tour. performed here. For info or tickets, visit and interested parties welcome. For info, supergroup LMNO returns to Bombs. The animals and other hand-crafted projects. In Whiteside Theatre, 361 SW Madison Ave. https://majesticreaderstheater.wordpress. call 541-754-3595. group consists of folks from many of the area’s storied bands: Page Hundemer from Xenat-ra (and many others), Nick Rivard from Space Neighbors, Brian Bucolo from the importance of backyards for wildlife, $5 per class. First class is free. All shapes, participants through an exploration of the or [email protected], or visit www. suggestions for gardeners to think about sizes, and levels of ability are invited to try art that can be found at the library. Discover corvalliscommunitychoir.us. Walk the Plank and Calobo, and composer/ wildlife in their garden design, and examples this gentle form of Hawaiian dance and hidden gems and get a glimpse of the conductor/music magician Rob Birdwell on how to do it. For info, visit http:// expression. For info, call 541-908-9190 or visit library’s rich history during this fascinating 2 Step Tuesdays. Riley’s Billiards who has played with Dave Storrs and 5th sustainablecorvallis.org/action-teams/natural- www.corvallishula.com. look into one of the many reasons the library Bar & Grill, 124 SW Broadalbin St., Albany. & B, Sideways Portal, the Svens, Creighton areas/natural-areas-celebration-wee. space is such a treasure. For info, call Bonnie 7 – 11 p.m. Free. A night of down-home fun. Lindsay, and many others. For info, visit www. Heroclix: Snips & Snails & bombsawaycafe.com. at 541-766-6965. For info, call 541-926-2838. Monday, May 4 Puppy Dog Tails. Matt’s Cavalcade Impulse of Comics, 2075 NW Buchanan Ave. 5:30 – 8 Celtic Jam. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Housed Wednesdays. Cinqo de Mayo Party. Impulse Bar & Grill, 1425 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Dicemasters. Matt’s Cavalcade p.m. Every Monday. For info, visit www. Philomath Blvd. 7:30 – 9 p.m. Every Tuesday. Bar & Grill, 1425 NW Monroe Ave. 11 a.m. Every Wednesday. Features $3 drink specials of Comics, 2075 NW Buchanan Ave. 5 p.m. ilovespidey.com/heroclix.html. Free. For info, visit http://imaginecoffee.net. – 2:30 a.m. This year Cinqo de Mayo lands and local DJs. For info, call 541-230-1114. Every Monday. DiceMasters is an all-new, on Taco Tuesday, which means $1 tacos and Graphic Novel Book Club cross-brand offering utilizing WizKids Games’ Hoolyeh International Folk drink specials all day (double margaritas proprietary Dice Building Game platform Dance. 1180 SW 25th Ave., Albany. 7 p.m. Meeting. New Morning Bakery, 219 Thursday, May 7 anyone!?). Also featuring al Hornitos Tequila SW 2nd St. 6:30 – 7:30 p.m. Free. New where players collect and assemble their Every Monday. Cost: $4. For info, contact 541- promo with giveaways and Hornitos Tequila “team” of character dice and battle in 967-8017 or [email protected]. members welcome. Pick up a copy of the Free Range Open Mic and drink specials. For info, visit www.facebook. month’s reading selection at the Corvallis- head-to-head game play. For info, visit www. com/impulsebargrill?fref=photo. Fireball Whiskey Promo. ilovespidey.com/heroclix.html. Prenatal Yoga. Live Well Studio, 971 Benton County Public Library’s second-floor Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. Spruce Ave. 7 – 8:15 p.m. Every Monday. Drop- Teen Yoga. Live Well Studio, 971 reference desk. For info, call 541-766-6965 or 6 – 8 p.m. Free. This rotating event will move Five Stones Sangha: in. Cost: $50 for 30-day intro offer. For info, Spruce Ave. 4 p.m. All teens welcome, all visit http://cbcpubliclibrary.net. between Bombs Away Cafe and Cloud & visit www.livewellstudio.com. Mindful Meditation. Friends levels. Free. For info, visit www.livewellstudio. Mango Django. Old World Deli, Kelly’s Public House on alternating dates so Meeting House, 3311 NW Polk Ave. 5:30 – 7 Bryson Skaar. Imagine Coffee, 5460 com. 341 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. Mango Django that it occurs twice per month. For info, visit p.m. Five Stones Sangha meets regularly every SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 p.m. Every Monday. Corvallis Community instrumental ensemble performs hot club jazz www.bombsawaycafe.com. week to practice meditations and strengthen Free. For info, visit http://imaginecoffee.net. and bosa nova pieces and some originals. For Calapooia Brewing mindfulness. For info, call 541-760-9760 or Choir Rehearsals. Unitarian info, call 541-752-8549. Rusty Hinges. visit www.fivestonessangha.org. Tuesday, May 5 Universalist Fellowship, 2945 NW Circle Blvd. Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 – 9:30 7 – 9 p.m. Runs through June 9. Newcomers Timba Tuesday. Impulse Bar & p.m. Folk, bluegrass, oldies, and country. Pu’uwai O Ke Kuawa Heart Art Tours at the Library. welcome. No audition required. Director: Grill, 1425 NW Monroe Ave. 7:30 p.m. No For info, call 541-928-1931 or visit http:// of the Valley Hula. First Baptist Corvallis Public Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. James Moursund. Cost: $50 per term or $5 cover. Join the Rumbanana Salsa Group every calapooiabrewing.com/blog/live-music-and- Church, 125 NW 10th St. 5:30 – 7 p.m. Cost: 10 a.m. First Tuesdays. Free. Freda Vars leads per week. For info, contact 541-740-6068 Tuesday night after Rumbanana’s classes events.

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Friday, May 1 Saturday, May 2 Ukulele Cabaret Paula Poundstone First Alternative South Store, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. Sunday, May 3 Thursday, April 30 1007 SE 3rd St. 7 p.m. Free 7 and 9:30 p.m. $34 to $38 Jon Kimura Parker The Wallop Sisters are great. These gals really pack a… I can’t tell if it’s slyly misogynistic to note how Those Scary Reds large overnight bag before traveling by rail. But less rapaciously unfunny Paula Poundstone is, or if it’s LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 on the nose, they also play a serious level of ukulele, brave. Also, is it offensive that they would book her for St. 4 p.m. $20 the preferred instrument of hipsters, the culturally “Mom’s Weekend” and not for the dads? Who do the p.m. $10 ($8 for members, seniors, authentic and enormous dudes with a good sense of dads get? If it’s an equivalently recognizable name who This is another amazing show from the Corvallis students) visual humor. If I understand the format of this event hasn’t been funny in 20 years, if ever, I would have to Piano International series. Kimura Parker is a virtuoso guess Howie Mandel. Or no, Jeff Foxworthy. Either way, who has played all over the globe for kings, queens, 5 to 1 Theatre Ensemble wrote this timely piece of correctly, you get to show up and jam out on your uke I’ll be missing this event like it’s a friend’s wedding and assorted dignitaries. Now he comes to the commie sympathizing and will perform it for your with a bunch of polite and interesting fellow travelers. It’s basically a tony guitar cult. Yikes, that didn’t make in Hawaii. Come on bro, we can’t all afford to drop Valley to play for home-brewers, lumberjacks, and viewing pleasure. The website lists someone named it sound very good… Rest assured you probably won’t a grand just to see you make good on that condom potheads. “The world is a funny place,” I’m sure Joseph Workmen as the “spiritual leader.” That may just get brainwashed and/or kidnapped at this event. malfunction. That’s just the type of edgy humor you he tells himself every night before crying himself be a typo of OSU Theatre member Joseph Workman’s won’t get with Paula… to sleep. My point about a $10 cover meaning the name, or it might be a subtly thematic reference to Corvallis High School Z Club act is probably pretty good goes double here. Math, Joseph Stalin and the worker’s party. Either way, I’ll be at Open Mic Night Stairway Denied people, it’s not just for ensuring your water doesn’t home chain smoking cigarettes and muttering epithets get shut off anymore. about collectivism and how “the pinkos” are ruining this Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe country. Let me know how the show goes, won’t you? 7 p.m. Free Ave. 10 p.m. $10 Blues Jam! Melanie Reid and Friends The CHS Zombie Appreciation Club is putting on an I’m sure I’m gonna make some enemies with this next Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE open mic night where participants are encouraged to part; but I need to see a local Zeppelin tribute band Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. just stand in front of the mic and sway while moaning about as much as I need to buy some anti-fungal 8:30 p.m. $1 to $5 “brains...” I don’t know, that sounds fun, I guess, but I ointment for that weird itch I’m developing. Wait, no, Blues Jam, your tenacity cannot be discounted. I do have my concerns about these millennials and their that was a bad analogy. I really do need that ointment. would have predicted that after the last 30 weeks The Bomb’s website refers to Melanie Reid as a obsessions. I mean, it used to be that if a movie or I could sort of live without a night of Zeppelin covers. of me claiming I’d show up and do terrible things, “legendary songstress.” I’m going to go ahead and meet band got popular you’d see a fair amount of replication, Though from what I’ve heard, these guys are actually you would have folded up the tent and become a them more than halfway on that little embellishment. but these kids just saturate everything. Enough with terrific. Then again, so is my proctologist, and it’s not poetry slam. But no, you called my bluff and stayed Let’s just say Melanie Reid knows how to put on a good the open mic nights already, am I right? In case it like I’m in a hurry to see him. The $10 cover here should true to your bluesy roots. This has forced me to up show, and for anywhere from $1 to $5, that’s probably a was unclear, and judging by the lack of a rimshot, it actually be as much of a draw as an impediment; you the ante: this week I’m showing up. Not naked, not pretty good deal. There’s also rumors her “friends” will probably was, Z Club actually stands for Zonta Club. know nobody in Corvallis is charging $10 unless they’re flatulent, and not hurling harmful epithets into the join her on stage. One can only hope they’re equally or, if Google that, and then “prepare for Indigo Girls covers,” really freaking good. Or selling bad meth. Either way, atmosphere. Much worse; I’m just going to be there, possible, more legendary than she is… says a joke I would have made in 1992. I’m there! as myself. Now you’re all really in trouble… Submit: Do you know of an upcoming event? Email us and we’ll add it to the web calendar [email protected]

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12 | Corvallis Advocate Monday, May 4 Bryson Skaar Thursday, May 7 Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Wednesday, May 6 Tuesday, May 5 Dolly West’s Kitchen Blvd. 7:30 p.m. Free LMNO Community Movie Night Withycombe Hall, 2921 SW Campus This past weekend, when the police were Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe escorting me to a holding cell after finding Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. Way. 7:30 p.m. $12 ($10 for seniors, Ave. 7:30 p.m. Free me passed out on Bryson’s back porch, it 7 p.m. Free $8 for youth/students, $5 for OSU occurred to me: Do I like this guy and his jazz CMNYK is busting out the big guns this week. LMNO is Corvallis hip-hop royalty. I know what students) piano stylings a little too much? Is such a It’s Cold Sweat (1970) starring the one, the only, you’re thinking, aren’t they Corvallis’ only hip Frank McGuinness’ World War II era play about thing even possible? As I was being brutalized the inimitable, Charles Bronson. Directed by hop act? Yes. They pretty much are. And they hard living in Ireland is sure to be another in the cell by a face-tattooed goon who Terence Young, who helmed the first three James play out a lot. So I guess what I’m saying is, tightly produced OSU Theatre joint. I’ve seen called himself Deathstroyer, I think I found my Bond movies, and co-starring film legends James don’t feel bad if you miss this show. You should several plays by this group on the Withycombe answer in the glistening rage of my attacker’s Mason, Liv Ullman, and Jill Ireland, this is an feel bad about missing your dad’s birthday, stage, and I have almost nothing sarcastic eyes. Do I like Bryson Skaar a little too much? overlooked and underrated action classic. Buckle but knowing you, you’ll probably just show or mean-spirited to say about them. They’re No. up for some hot car chases on the Riviera, and try up at his house and tell him you’re short on frickin’ good and they put out challenging and prepare yourself for the manliest mustache rent this month. And he’ll bellow, “That’s not material. There’s almost no reason to miss this. Glass Act: OSU MUCC Glass that ever was. Guns be blazin’, this week at the my problem! I told you to major in computer I’m still going to show up and holler things, Guild & His and Hers Darkside. science!” Or something like that… I imagine… but that’s because the heckler’s code is more LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th Drink & Draw But seriously though, LMNO is a rap group. important than local theater. St. 6:30 p.m. Free Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW Shrubs and Trees with Ed Rusty Hinges Do you wonder how quality glass blowing 1st St. 7 p.m. Free Jensen gets done? You don’t? What, do you think Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 Peavy Hall, 3100 SW Jefferson Way. the head shop just picks your color-changing I thought Drink & Draw was a thing of the past, Hill St. NE, Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free at least at Cloud’s. Obviously we drink and draw 6 p.m. Free bong off a water-pipe tree? No, dummy. Rusty Hinges will show up at your house and almost every night at my house, though we’re Talented glass blowing artists are the ones Ed Jensen is going to teach you to identify play this obnoxious creaking sound every time usually drawing pistols on each other. You’re responsible for that work of art you pack with shrubs. Whatever you’re burning to know about never going to get good at it unless youSAVE practice. $3 your door opens and closes. It’s super annoying, TRY OURweed, OWN hash, and sometimes, FRESHLY when your dude MADE shrubs, OSU Forestry ProfessorSAVE Jensen’s got $3 SAVE $3 The drinking I mean, you’ll never be a good artist, NEW and they’ve been playingNEW a live engagement DIPS, ENTRÉEScan get it, opium. Come seeAND them ply their SALADS or duelist, as your parents would have told you your back. If you want to know about trees, at my house for two years now. Oh wait, trade and learn a thing or two about how you if they weren’t too busy poppingGyros Ativan. Wait, or Falafelyou’re out of luck though,Mediterranean because this guy Subs*nevermind,Mediterranean these guys play roots music. Wrap get high. Also, use common sense and don’t where was I? Oh yeah, Drink & Draw is back. knows nothing about—wait, what’s that? Otherwise known as… Americana. These are Hommous, Baba Gannouj,bring your broken Tabbouleh, bowl to this event Damascus and ask Get a fava DD and showbean up to D&D. That’s designated Nevermind. This will be a shrubs and trees not the same guys whoCombo have been playing my salad, (Zaatar)Thymethem if theyPies, can fixlamb it. I already pies asked & Spanikopita. and driver and Drink & Draw, not Daredevil and event. Repeat. Shrubs$ and trees… That’s.99 funny, door. They both play for free, but I think I prefer they said no. Dungeons & Dragons… $ .99my pulse just slowed to a complete stop.REG.$5.99my guys…$ .99 After 4pm Dinner Special 2 REG.$5.99 2*ANY TOPPING 1 REG.$4.99

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Everybody recognizes the name of the massively influential animator, and everyone knows they’ve seen his work somewhere, but frequently they can’t name a title. They just know his Darkside Cinema Films for 5/1/-5/7/2015 iconic style. Whether from his works Please call or log on for show times on MTV’s Liquid Television in the early SONG OF THE SEA —PG Boasts narrative depth commensurate 90s, or in a Kanye music video (2005’s with its visual beauty, adding up to an animated saga overflowing with Heard ‘Em Say), Plympton’s subject family-friendly riches. 99% ON RT! matter is endlessly eclectic, his MERCHANTS OF DOUBT —PG-13 A documentary that looks at visions balancing somewhere on the pundits-for-hire who present themselves as scientific authorities. precipice alternatingly overlooking DESERT DANCER —PG-13 Afshin risks everything to start a oblivion and Middle America. dance company amidst his home country of Iran’s politically volatile climate and the nation’s ban on dancing. His new film, Cheatin’, is another WHITE GOD—R Thirteen-year-old Lili is devastated when her father artistic success (if not a commercial sets her dog loose on the streets. Still innocently believing love can one) in his long and storied career. conquer any difficulty, Lili sets out to find her dog and save him. I was lucky enough to meet him in ADULT BEGINNERS—NR The kind of comedy that goes down easy even as it looks at the hard stuff. person at a special screening of Cheatin’ this past Sunday at the WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS —NR Smarter, fresher, and funnier than a modern vampire movie has any right to be. Darkside Cinema. He explained that the film is inspired DARKSIDE Cinema by his own experience, describing 4th & Madison • Corvallis his relationship with a young woman darksidecinema.com years ago. They were in love (541) 752-4161 and decided to cohabitate, but soon after discovered life isn’t all champagne and Saturday morning AmerAmer Dream, Dream, free free delivery2 delivery2 1x3 -- Page Page 1 1- Composite -cartoons. Composite Amer Dream, free delivery2 1x3 - Page 1 - Composite“A funny thing happened; we wanted to kill each other, but we still wanted to have sex with each other,” screening Q&A. “In Europe and hard to keep both feet planted on AME RICAN he explained to a rapt audience of Japan they get it,” speaking of the ground while watching Cheatin’ AME RICAN fans before the screening. distributors willing to take a risk on and when he brings us back to a AME RICAN cartoons with adult themes. He noted recognizable setting, it’s almost hard This dichotomy is what inspired DREAM PIZZA Cheatin’, which without dialogue tells that stateside he couldn’t get a major not to readjust in one’s seat to get DREAM PIZZA the wild tale of a couple that falls in production house to fund one of his ready for the next volley. DREAM PIZZA love and can’t keep their hands off nutty “Plymptoons.” Ultimately the experience is eye- each other. When the fella, Jake, Cheatin’ is beautifully rendered, from opening, lyrical and of all things, discovers what he believes to be over 40,000 hand drawings Plympton life-affirming, which is one of the most proof of infidelity, he embarks on a did himself. To save money, there’s surprising turns Plympton takes the crusade of cheating. But when his no real dialogue, but this creates a viewer on. Listening to him describe wife discovers the shenanigans, she rich and textured soundscape that the inspiration, and looking at his takes the rather unexpected strategy communicates everything one needs art, one could easily jump to the of using a carnival soul switching to know through grunts, cries and conclusion that he’s got a bleak view machine to step into the bodies of laughter. The soundtrack, including of mankind. But therein lies the treat her husband’s extra-curricular mates classic opera tunes as well as a of Cheatin’; behind what cynicism and “cheat” along with him. beautiful score by composer Nicole there is about monogamy, is the heart of a lover. Look, I told you he had an iconic Renaud, is one of the most satisfying Free Delivery! parts of the layer cake that the film style. I asked him about this seeming becomes. At a certain point, the film CAMPUS • 757-1713 paradox within the film, and he smiled Free Delivery! If you were expecting a even takes on the character of a 2525 NW Monroe broadly before answering. FreeDOWNTOWNCAMPUS Delivery!• •757-1713 753-7373 straightforward narrative that goes musical, which is a hard thing to do in 2525214 NW SW Monroe 2nd places you’d expect, you should a story largely devoid of words. “What can I say? I love a happy CAMPUSDOWNTOWN• •757-1713 753-7373 probably go watch Frozen again. ending.” 2525 NW Monroe This film actually will challenge Another element that stands out are 214 SW 2nd his transitions, for which he’s become Cheatin’ is available for streaming DOWNTOWN 753-7373 and enthrall you, which can be a • surprising change of pace from the famous. Scenes melt and splash rental on Vimeo (https://vimeo. 214 SW 2nd bulk of animated fare in the States. into each other, and the cinematic com/plymptoons/videos), and at nature of things dissolving on screen the Darkside Cinema on Thursday, Plympton lamented this in his post becomes its own driving force. It’s Thursday, April 30 at 7:45 p.m. 14 | Corvallis Advocate SCHOOL OF ARTS & COMMUNICATION by Sidney SCHOOL OF ARTS & COMMUNICATION Reilly Hard Truths SCHOOLMeditation OF ARTS & COMMUNICATION Steel Yourself Meditation at Lagunitas LagunitasLagunitas OSU WindWind Ensemble Ensemble OSU Wind Ensemble On Prom Night has seen me in a dress before. SCHOOLChristopher OF ARTS & COMMUNICATIONChapman, conductor Christopher Chapman, Chapman, conductor conductor Can anyone explain why they call the White House OSU Wind Symphony Correspondents Masturbation Dinner “Nerd Prom?” I Honestly, the whole thing could have been done more MeditationOSU Wind Wind Symphony Symphony was a nerd, and I went to prom. And I’m 150% sure it tastefully in a tweet. atDana Biggs, Lagunitas Biggs,Biggs, conductor conductor conductor didn’t involve the coolest, funniest, and most popular JasonJason Silveira, Silveira,Silveira, guest guest guest conductor conductor conductor That Jenner is the only likable character ever actors and comedians in New York OSURandy Wind Solansky Solansky Ensemble and and Sarah Sarah Perkins Perkins Randy graduate Solansky teaching assistantsand Sarah Perkins and Hollywood getting together to associated with the Kardashian name Christopher graduate teachingChapman, assistants conductor is undeniable. I mean, after him, the Featuring graduate Robert teaching Brudvig, assistantsmarimba make fun of Republicans. In fact, isn’t OSUFeaturing Wind Robert Symphony Brudvig, marimba this just the opposite of nerd prom? most likable person in the Kardashian DanaMusicFeaturing Biggs,by Paul Robert conductor Dooley, Brudvig,Bradley Bodine, marimba Ryan George, Samuel Barber, Frank Ticheli, David Maslanka, more Which is just regular prom, right? orbit would probably be OJ Simpson. JasonMusic Silveira, by Paul guest Dooley, conductor Bradley Bodine, Ryan George, SamuelMusic by Barber, Paul Dooley, Frank Ticheli, Bradley David Bodine, Maslanka, Ryan moreGeorge, So it’s great to see that people are 7:30RandySamuel Solansky PM Barber, • THURSDAY and SarahFrank Perkins Ticheli, David Maslanka, more And wasn’t it funnier and more so supportive, but does this not set us MAY7:30 graduate PM teaching7, •2015 THURSDAY assistants interesting when Bush was in office back as a society trying to normalize Featuring7:30 RobertPM •Brudvig, THURSDAY marimba and some of the jokes were actually LaSellsMusic by Stewart Paul Dooley, Center Bradley Bodine, Ryan George, gender transitions? If more people 875MAY SW 26th Street,7, 2015Corvallis directed at him rather than his Samuel Barber, Frank Ticheli, David Maslanka, more tune in to see a guy announce he’s LaSellsMAY Stewart 7, Center 2015 political enemies? I hate to pile 7:30General PMAdmission: • THURSDAY becoming a woman (just because $8875LaSells in SWadvance, Stewart26th $10Street, at Center the Corvallis door on here, considering on Monday he ran fast a long time ago and MAYOSU875 students SW 26th7, and 2015 Street, K-12 youth Corvallis free morning the journalistic hangover was AdvanceGeneral ticketsAdmission: available online his stepdaughter has a sex tape) LaSellsonly at Stewart tickettomato.org Center $8General in advance, Admission: $10 at the door palpable, with every writer who didn’t 875OSU SW students 26th Street, and Corvallis K-12 youth free than tune in to watch NCIS each $8 in advance, $10 at the door themselves attend the dinner pointing bands.oregonstate.eduAdvance tickets available online week, we’re not headed in the right GeneralOSU students Admission: and K-12 youth free out what a fraud and charade it all is. $8Foronly inaccommodations advance, at tickettomato.org $10 for at disabilitiesthe door call 541-737-5592 direction. OSUAdvance students tickets and K-12 available youth free online Advanceonly at tickets tickettomato.org available online Oh, and did I mention the whole onlybands.oregonstate.edu at tickettomato.org Unless of course Mark Harmon also thing was happening quite literally within hearing and For accommodations for disabilities call 541-737-5592 bands.oregonstate.edu seeing distance of Baltimore getting swallowed by makes the change. Then look out, sweeps week… ForFor accommodations accommodations for disabilities for disabilities call 541-737-5592 call 541-737-5592 race riots? On Chippiness Seriously, guys, maybe pick a worse time to throw a The Cleveland Cavaliers, anointed the heir to the lavish party fellating the party in power and the media Eastern Conference title, had a rough go in their Helping families find their first next year. Like, I don’t know, does MLK Day ever fall on elimination of the Boston Celtics this past Sunday. home, as well as their next Memorial Day and Veterans’ Day simultaneously? While they did manage to put theHelping boys in greenfamilies out offind their firsthome home, since as 1951.well as the post season, they lost power forward extraordinairetheir next home since 1951. On Boredom (and Oregon native) Kevin Love to a dislocated Bruce Jenner did a candid interview with Diane shoulder that will likely keep him out of the rest of the Sawyer that aired this past weekend about his playoffs. choice to become a woman. Wait, candid means “shamelessly planned-out cash grab,” right? Then in retaliation for what indeed looked like a dirty play that injured Love, Cavs center Kendrick Perkins The only thing sadder than the spectacle of the attacked the throat of Celtics center Jae Crowder, Helping families find their first home, as well as their next home since 1951. Kardashian “reality” empire is the spectacle being getting ejected. Then, for good measure, Cavs guard made of the only genuine thing to come out of the J.R. Smith made sure Crowder was done for the day isis inin thethe airair show. Jenner is becoming a woman. And in post- by viciously spin-punching him right in the face, also gender America, I have to sincerely ask, who the hell earning an ejection. cares? SprinSpringg Now both Smith and Perkins are staring down the There’s nothing weird about men becoming women isis inin thethe airair barrel of significant suspensions, and the Cavs and vice versa. It’s 2015, and I really thought we Helping families find their firstSprin home, as wellg as had gotten used to this sort of thing. It’s just not that cakewalk to the finals looks more like a perilous their next home since 1951. fascinating. journey.

And pardon me for pointing this out, but Jenner is a The best part of all this chippy excitement is that we’re now going to get to see some superhuman basketball. goddamn track star from 40 years ago. All other issues isis inin thethe airair aside, how is it possible that anyone still cares what Suddenly Lebron James is missing his A-List power Spring does or does not happen with Jenner? We have major forward, his enforcer, and his three-point shooting sports in this country, and track and field is not one of specialist. Which means he’ll have to do it all for his Corvallis Office Albany Office 455 NW Tyler Ave 1117 Pacific Blvd SE them. team to make their predestined appointment with the 541-757-1781 541-924-5616 Spurs in the finals. Corvallis Office Albany Office Seventeen million people tuned in to see Jenner 455 NW Tyler Ave www.tncrealty.com1117 Pacific Blvd SE say not much about not a lot of things. The whole Which means once again, violence541-757-1781 and retribution will CorvallisCorvallis Office Office 541-924-5616AlbanyAlbany O fficeOffice 455www.tncrealty.com NW Tyler Ave 1117 Pacific Blvd SE interview could be boiled down to these bullet points: lead to better things for us all. And they call baseball 455541-757-1781 NW Tyler Ave 321 1st Ave541-924-5616 E, Suite 3-C I’m becoming a woman; my family supports me; Kim our national pastime. Pfft. www.tncrealty.com541-757-1781 www.tncrealty.com 541-924-5616 www.tncrealty.com

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13 Moons features Grayhawk Perkins, a New Orleans-born Native American from the Choctaw and Houma tribes, who will perform a unique blend of blues, folk and jazz intertwined with tribal rhythms, language and storytelling, with the France-based Mezcal Jazz Unit band. Grayhawk’s compositions are based on traditional songs referring to the thirteen moons of the Native American calendar. Emmanuel de Gouvello, French bass player and composer, adds his own musical universe to the compositions which he arranged using harmonies and rhythms from jazz.