he Independent Student Newspaper
Number 790 Friday 24th April 2015
Published in Cambridge since 1947 www.varsity.co.uk
Labour tops Varsity poll ZEICHNER READ. O’FLYNN. FERNANDO. HUPPERT.
Perhaps surprisingly, the Varsity. “We now have a radical and Tactical voting: Tories vote at Conservatives unwilling to waste their Varsity News Team Conservatives came in second place, practical ofer for students which will home vote in what increasingly appears to be with 24 per cent of the vote. his is make a real diference for those about a tight Liberal Democrat and Labour 13 days before the general election, a likely to be the result of the fragmen- to graduate, current students, and Further analysis, however, indicates race for Cambridge. Varsity poll of over 1,000 Cambridge tation of the vote on the left of the those to follow in future,” citing a range that Cambridge students may not be As one third-year Conservative vot- students – the largest poll of this de- political spectrum: the Greens came of polices including a reduction in tui- as left-leaning as they initially appear. er from Corpus told us: “As much as mographic conducted thus far in the in a close third place, with 22 per tion fees to be paid for by restricting Varsity’s survey asked respondents I’d like to see Cambridge turned blue, run up to 7th May – can exclusively cent of student votes in the poll, and Pension Tax Relief for the wealthiest to indicate whether they intended to there is no way Chamali Fernando will reveal the political leanings of the stu- the Liberal Democrats came in fourth pensioners, increasing maintenance vote in Cambridge or their home con- be able to fend of both Labour and the dent community. place at 19 per cent. grants and ending unpaid internships. stituency. For those who plan to vote Lib Dems to win Cambridge,” he said. Conducted between 2nd March and A further two per cent would vote “I also ind that students care pas- in Cambridge, Labour’s share of the “My home constituency is more 10th April, students were asked which for UKIP, and 1 per cent for other par- sionately about social justice, and like vote remains strong, at 33 per cent marginal for the Conservatives, and party they would vote for if a general ties, including the SNP, Plaid Cymru what they see from Labour on the liv- compared to the Tories’ 19.9 per cent, my vote will make more of a diference election were held tomorrow, with and the Northern Irish parties. ing wage, and that we will scrap the who slip into fourth place behind the there.” respondents able to change their an- Daniel Zeichner, the Labour candi- unfair Bedroom Tax.” Greens (24.5) and Lib Dems (20.2). Chamali Fernando, however, re- swers throughout the duration of the date for Cambridge, said he was very Rory Weal, the Chair of Cambridge However, among those planning to mains optimistic, telling Varsity that polling period. pleased that Labour’s “very strong of- Universities Labour Club, agreed that vote at home, the position is reversed, “job security, apprenticeships and that Among the 1,063 participants in fer to Cambridge students” was start- students are turning to the party be- with the Conservatives receiving a 40 Government must not spend money the Varsity survey, Labour topped the ing to resonate. cause they feel Labour “really is ofer- per cent share to Labour’s 27 per cent. that it does not have while transferring poll, with 32 per cent intending to vote “It’s clear that many [students] feel ing something distinctive and difer- his appears to indicate a ‘tac- current national debt liabilities to Labour. let down by the Lib Dems,” he told ent... this election”. tical voting’ trend, with student Continued on page 4. INSIDE: UKIP PROFILE, OWEN JONES, JEREMY PAXMAN, STUDENT CAMPAIGNS 2 Friday 24th April 2015 Editorial A swinging town
his general election, the Left is split; Green, the Cambridge seat stands undecided. It was the least a reasonable chance at success. Over the Liberal or further aield SNP – there are numer- Conservatives, not Labour, who gained the second past term, Varsity has aimed to show Cambridge ous options and parties that could, come May 7, largest vote share in 2010; Huppert’s incumbency students the best and worst of them, from one- take away Labour’s chance at a majority in what is holds a strong record; the constituency is one of on-one interviews with each of the PPCs to keep- still a irst-past-the-post system. under ive target seats for the Greens nationally; ing students informed when national politicians and according to Daniel Zeichner, if Labour can’t take an interest in our small, but crucial, seat. We Not to be outdone by archaic political institutions, win Cambridge, they can’t win at all. have talked to Jeremy Paxman about interview- however, the age of digital democracy has come ing politicians, Owen Jones about writing about up with an idea: Vote Swap. Found on a Facebook his leaves an important but burdomsome task them, and Patrick O’Flynn about being one – one newsfeed near you, voteswap.org encourages vot- for students voting in Cambridge this election; to who might be UKIP’s next leader, at that. ers “not wanting to wake up after the election to vote not tactically, but ideologically. To cast our a Conservative Prime Minister” to ‘swap’ their vote, not because of who we don’t want to see in he reason that this small student paper has been votes between constituencies – voting Green or government, but who we do. he chance for our able to provide this kind of coverage – from small Labour tactically to keep the Tories out. voice, and our politics, to meaningfully inluence group meetings with the Shadow Chancellor to the outcome of this election is a rarity in 2015. One quizzing David Willetts on £9,000 – is that the Type CB2 into Vote Swap, however, and voters has only to look to Homerton and Girton, both in Cambridge seat matters. It matters to Cambridge, are faced with a diferent, and in the current elec- the safe Tory seat of South Cambridgeshire, to re- and it matters to the country. We are one of the few toral climate increasingly rare, message: “his is member how easily individual choices and voices deciding seats left, and this is an election where not a seat where we could advocate a vote swap… can get lost in the selection of a local MP. there is a lot to be decided. he Left is split and Vote according to your preference.” the Right is under ire – students in Cambridge Cambridge has a diverse selection of candidates have the privilege of consulting their own politics EDITORIAL Whatever the polls may tell you, ours and others, from all the main parties, all of whom have at when deciding between them.
NEWS On the campaign trail Varsity Online Varsity inds out what really goes on when students go campaigning (pages 5-6) NEWS A game of tutors For the remainder of the Sarah Sheard investigates the striking discrepancies in tutor support across colleges (page 10) Easter term, Varsity will be INTERVIEW publishing online only. The Jeremy Paxman We talk to the former Varsity Editor about going for the next print edition will appear political jugular (page 12) COMMENT for May Week on 17th June. Playground homophobia Jack McConnel outines homophobia in private schools – and what a group of Cantabs is doing about it (page 13) To get involved this term, FEATURES email [email protected]. Cambridge Inc. Leo Sands exposes the pervasive impact of corporate spon- sorship in student societies across the university (page 22) REVIEWS Corrections Interview: Wolf Alice In the issue printed on Friday 27th February, a Sport article entitled ‘Dwain Chambers visits the Union’ incorrectly stated that Sadie, a young woman featured in a video that was shown about the work of the charity Teens Unite of which Dwain Asia Lambert chats to the indie rockers ahead of the re- Chambers is a patron, passed away. Sadie has not passed away, and this mistake was due to an inaccuracy in our reporter’s lease of their debut album (page 28) notes. We would like to apologise for this mistake to all those afected.
E Talia Zybutz @.. D E Tom Freeman @.. B M Mark Curtis @.. O D Joe Whitwell P D E Sareeka Linton, Sanjukta Sen, Phoebe Stone, Daniella Mae Brisco-Peaple, Harry Stockwell @.. N E Eleanor Deeley (Senior), Till Schöfer & Richard Nicholl (Deputy) @.. P E Richard Nicholl @.. N F I E Sarah Sheard @.. C E Tess Davidson & Georgia Turner @.. S E Harry Taylor @.. E Elissa Foord & Leo Sands @.. C E Will Hutton & Ciara Nugent @.. T E Gabriella Jeakins, Amy George (Deputy) @.. F E Livs Galvin & Gayathiri Kamalakanthan @.. R E Matilda Ettedgui @.. S E Peter Rutzler @.. I E Ellie Olcott @.. O E Alex Izza & James Sutton V R Will Helipurn & Alex Rice @.. C S E Eliza Jones P Jess Franklin, Jonny Rowlands, Harriet Wakeman & Daniel Zhang @.. I Dani Ismailov (Cover), Sophia Buck, Meggie Fairclhough, Ben Waters, Suraj Makwana, Sanjukta Sen, Daisy Schoield, Jack Parham @.. V B Dr Michael Franklin (Chairman), Prof. Peter Robinson, Dr Tim Harris, Chris Wright, Michael Derringer, Michael Curtis (VarSoc President), Amy Hawkins, Talia Zybutz
NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT Varsity, Old Examination Hall, Free School Lane, Cambridge CB2 3RF. Tel 01223 337575. Fax 01223 760949. Varsity is published by Varsity Publications Ltd. Varsity Publications also publishes the Mays. RECYCLING Recycled paper made ©2015 Varsity Publications Ltd. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. up 78.9% of the raw material for UK Printed at Iliffe Print Cambridge — Winship Road, Milton, Cambridge CB24 6PP on 42.5gsm newsprint. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office. ISSN 1758-4442 newspapers in 2011 NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT News Friday 24th April 2015 3 Election Profi le: Patrick O’Flynn
Asked about this, he audibly sighs. “I could fi gures. I would agree that international students R chard N choll spend my entire time going from hall to hall coming to study at reputable universities – not speaking to between 50 and 200 people at a time just the bogus colleges that have sprung up in re- Pol t cal Ed tor and there would be very few UKIP voters, or even cent years – that fl ow of international students is
PATRICK O’FLYNN/UKIP PATRICK UKIP considerers, among them, because it does a good thing. It generates money for higher edu- Patrick O’Flynn MEP is a hard man to pin down. tend to be very middle-class people who are al- cation, and the people who come are generally of For weeks, I had been desperately trying to fi nd a ready connected into the political process and high ability. ere’s no intention to knacker the spot in his schedule to interview him for Varsity, who fi nd the choices already on off er to be very fl ow of international students. but between his commitments in the European much to their taste. “If we are to have fees, my preferred fi nancing Parliament and as Economic Spokesman for “I’ve instead spent my time doing action days model would be to give students the choice of UKIP, fi nding time to sit down with him was not in target wards, several of which are not even paying back, say, two per cent of future earnings easy. known to the vast majority of the student body.” for a given number of years, because that would Eventually I got the call. He could only squeeze His mentions of the students so far have been give the universities and the colleges an incentive in time for a phone interview, so I dusted off my slightly disparaging. It’s hard to blame him. to produce people who are going off to be a big battery of questions. Young Independence, UKIP’s youth wing, don’t success.” I asked him about UKIP’s chances in even have a presence at the university. Lastly, I touch on one of the most visible con- Cambridge. Across polls and across the local and Yet UKIP’s policies on tuition fees are not ex- cerns in Cambridge: transport. UKIP’s national European elections, UKIP tends to poll at around actly hard-right: to the contrary, their manifesto policy is, bluntly, fairly pro-car. ey promise to three per cent, and if anything the general elec- pledges to abolish tuition fees for STEM subjects “scrap HS2”, stop tolls on public roads and review tion could be even worse for the party. is is es- and medicine. the use of speed cameras, and ran in the 2014 pecially true of students: UKIP received two per “When Tony Blair brought in top-up fees and European election on a platform of slashing fuel cent in Varsity’s survey. What’s his angle? initially scrapped maintenance grants, I was duty. Won’t this make congestion in Cambridge “My ambition was to put UKIP on the map in against both moves. I was a political journalist on worse? Cambridge,” says O’Flynn. “I particularly wanted the Daily Express at the time, and we had a cam- “One advantage is that it’s a compact city so to give a democratic outlet to a fairly signifi cant paign against top-up fees. moving around doesn’t involve great distances, proportion of the electorate in Cambridge who “Fundamentally, I don’t believe in fees for home particularly for the student body,” he says, bri- I think are ignored and overlooked, who tend to dling a little at the suggestion. be the more long-standing Cambridge residents “I would like to have lots and lots of relatively without links to the university. small-scale improvements, rather than some kind “I want to off er something diff erent on the bal- of... Cambridge underground,” he says, referring lot paper [to] the soft-left, liberal-left, middle- to some of the more outlandish policies mooted class sensibility,” he says. WITH FARAGE PROMISING for the City Deal in January. “I would prefer look- e Cambridge fi eld is very liberal this time ing at, for example, the phasing of traffi c lights. around: besides Julian Huppert himself, both TO STEP DOWN IF HE LOSES, ere are some that just don’t work: I’m thinking Rupert Read (Green) and Chamali Fernando WE MAY BE HEARING FROM of Castle Hill down to Northampton Street.” (Conservative) are former Liberal Democrats. I decide to fi nish on a less serious question. is is why, he said at at a UKIP public meeting O’FLYNN AGAIN Patrick O’Flynn went to King’s, like his Labour on Friday 17th April, he doesn’t attend very many opponent Daniel Zeichner. Bins outside King’s hustings, telling the room that there are normally last week bore stickers reading ‘LOVE THY “the same 250 liberal middle-class do-gooders” in students,” he continues. “At this election, we’ve NEIGHBOUR: SKIP UKIP’. the audience each time. managed to come up with a fully-costed scheme O’Flynn laughs raspily down the phone. “I was to exempt the STEM subjects from tuition fees an exact contemporary and a big mate of David for home students.” Laws at King’s, so probably until my emergence Of course, the European Union forms part of David was about the most shocking thing that UKIP’s education policy. “Part of that is being had ever happened to King’s politics. I may have able to charge non-British EU students the full- snatched that title!” rated international fee. I would like us to be in a Indeed he has. O’Flynn is a far cry from the position at the next general election to be able to UKIP stereotype, charming and thoughtful, but say that we will abolish tuition fees altogether.” unless something radical happens, he hasn’t got a So how does UKIP intend to square education hope in Cambridge. policy with its hardline approach on immigra- But his true goals are elsewhere. With Nigel tion? International students provide an impor- Farage promising to step down as UKIP leader tant source of cashfl ow to British universities. if he loses in South anet, we may be hearing To my surprise, O’Flynn agrees with me. “We from Patrick O’Flynn again, and sooner than we will count students separately in the immigration might expect.
✓ Rapid referendum on Britain’s membership of the European Union
✓ All legislative powers to rest with Westminster
✓ Negotiate a new trade agreement with the EU
✓ Control immigration with points system, limit of 50,000 skilled workers a year and a five-year ban on unskilled immigration
✓ No tax on the minimum wage
✓ Extra £3bn a year for the NHS in England
✓ Meet Nato target of spending 2% of GDP on defence, and look to increase it “substantially” 4 Friday 24th April 2015 News Over 1,000 deliver their verdict in Cambridge’s largest student poll Continued from page 1. seat in the 2010 general election and is “Our values resonate with the ambi- petuating them.” ailiations, but rather relective of the their generation” are all issues strik- one of our top target seats nationwide tions of today’s youth to build a better Varsity’s statistics, however, paint a fact that other political parties/socie- ing a chord with students she meets on this time: your vote can almost cer- society for their own children,” he told more nuanced picture. ties do not organise events like this,” the campaign trail. tainly do more good for us here than it us. Excluding those colleges that did she told us. She also says that students “don’t will at your home.” “Fundamentally, I have yet to meet a not return a statistically signiicant “Had any of the other MP candi- believe” Labour’s promise for a reduc- single Green activist who’s not incan- number of respondents, only Downing, dates chosen to visit the college bar tion in tuition fees, and that because Lib Dems victim of a Green descently charming.” Corpus, Trinity and St John’s would in an attempt to seek out the opinions the Liberal Democrats “disowned” stu- surge However, Julian Huppert, Liberal elect the Conservative candidate. Left- and concerns of students, I would have dents over the issue, “consequently the Democrat PPC for Cambridge and MP wing parties fare signiicantly better: of course happily publicised it.” Conservative position makes sense”. Commenting on the Green Party’s for Cambridge in the last Parliament, not a single person from King’s voted Murray Edwards’ result is relected “We came SECOND in 2010, and we strong result in the poll, second only stated that he remained conident for the Conservative candidate, with more broadly in a gender breakdown have been campaigning full-time for a to Labour among students voting in in student support in the upcoming over 47 per cent opting for Labour. of respondents. Despite controversy victory in 2015,” she told us. Cambridge, Luke Ilott, Chair of the election. Conservative numbers were also over Harriet Harman’s “gimmick” pink Among students planning to Young Greens, told Varsity: “his elec- “What is quite clear is that when particularly weak at Magdalene and bus, Labour fare signiicantly better vote in Cambridge, however, the tion is a tale of two generations”. students listen to all the candidates, Selwyn, where only six and 15 per cent with women voters, earning 38.4 per Conservatives languish in fourth place “Among older Britons, raised on two- the result is very diferent. At the hus- would vote Tory, respectively. In con- cent of the vote compared to 27.1 per on 19.9 per cent, behind the Liberal party politics, it’s hard to understand tings event at the Cambridge Union, trast, no statistically signiicant college cent among men. Democrats and the Greens, who come what the Green surge is all about. But after hearing us all speak, the Labour returned a Labour result of below 15 So too do the Greens, who received in second place on 24.5 per cent. for young citizens, the Greens aren’t vote share declined whereas mine in- per cent. 28.0 per cent of the vote among wom- Echoing Daniel Zeichner’s senti- just a major political party; they’re the creased substantially to 40 per cent,” Magdalene were also the college en compared to 16.7 per cent among ment, Green candidate Rupert Read party that speaks for them.” he told us. with the most Lib Dem voters, at 29 men. he Greens topped the poll at attributed his party’s success among Varsity’s indings, however, stand “I know students want to support per cent. However, the Lib Dems were Newnham, with 33 per cent of the vote students to a sense of social justice in contrast to a recent Lord Ashcroft someone who will stand up for them not the most popular party at any compared to Labour’s 31 per cent. and “how diferent we are from the old poll, where the Lib Dems gained a 55 and their values and I am commit- college, with a plurality of students he Chair of the Cambridge Young parties”. per cent vote share among 18-24 year ted to that. hey know that I kept my at Magdalene (37 per cent), still opt- Greens, Luke Ilott, put this appeal “[O]nly the Greens oppose Trident olds planning to vote in the Cambridge promise and voted against tuition fees, ing to vote Labour. King’s and Selwyn down to the Greens’ desire to “build a and TTIP, only we stand irm against seat. Taken during the vacation, the unlike when Cambridge had a Labour were the only colleges with respond- fairer society”. UKIP xenophobia, only we can be poll only included 19 18-24 year olds, MP, who promised to oppose them and ents who would vote for far-left par- trusted to be serious about dangerous whose weighted base was greatly in- then voted in favour... I have champi- ties, with votes for the Trade Union What does this mean? climate change, and only we have poli- lated to 93/550 to relect the demo- oned the living wage, secured same- and Socialist Coalition and Left Unity cies designed to create a more equal graphics of this seat. Labour came a sex marriage, worked to ban revenge parties. he range of surveys and polls con- society... Young people really care porn and pushed the government for Conservatives do, however, top the ducted in the student press over the about these things!” he told Varsity. more action on climate change.” poll among male voters, with 29.8 per past weeks are unanimous in showing However, he was quick to advise Certainly, it is a noted trend nation- cent to Labour’s 27.2. Among women, the Liberal Democrats are haemor- against voting Labour in this seat, as ally that Lib Dem incumbents poll however, Conservative numbers are a rhaging their left wing to a revived La- an absolute Labour majority would more highly in personal approval rat- weak 17.0 per cent, behind Labour’s bour and surging Green Party. mean, in his words, electing a gov- “I HAVE YET TO MEET A SINGLE ings than their party. A survey in he 38.4 per cent and the Greens’ 28.0. Popular conceptions that the ernment that is “pro-Trident, pro- Cambridge Student (TCS) published Murray Edwards was the only col- Conservatives are unelectable in this TTIP and pro-austerity, a government GREEN ACTIVIST WHO’S NOT yesterday asked which candidate re- lege to return a majority vote, with seat, despite Fernando’s protestations whose rhetoric on immigration will INCANDESCENTLY CHARMING.” spondents would vote for, rather 51 per cent of students favouring the to the contrary, are also borne out by be sub-UKIP, a government that will than which party, and found that the Labour candidate. the headline igures for those voting utterly disappoint you”. Instead, he Liberal Democrats polled second only Olivia Barber, former JCR President in Cambridge, though support for the advocated voting for anti-austerity to Labour. While the TCS poll was at Murray Edwards, is currently the Tories more broadly among the stu- parties, like the SNP, Plaid Cymru and very distant second at 18 per cent, with hosted on a Google document, and Vice-Chair and Women’s Oicer of dent body remains considerable. the Greens, to “hold a Labour minority the Greens in third on 17 per cent. could thus be accessed by those who Cambridge University Labour Club. In Striking in their absence are UKIP, Government to its better angels”. Overall, the Liberal Democrats are not members of the Cambridge the past, she used the JCR President’s despite their candidate for Cambridge Read also advocated tactical voting in topped the Ashcroft poll with 40 per student community, its 732 respond- email address to advertise a visit from being a highly notable igure in the this election, urging any Green-leaning cent of the vote, nine per cent ahead of ents placed Julian Huppert in a one per Daniel Zeichner to college members national party. Receiving only 2.1 per students to vote in Cambridge. Labour. Given the statistical distortion cent lead over the Greens. as “an invaluable chance to have your cent of the overall vote, there were no “[U]nless your home is in Brighton of the youth vote, however, the validity TCS’s results, which refer only to crucial views heard on the issues that votes for UKIP at more than half of Pavilion, Norwich South, or Bristol of this poll lead is questionable. the Cambridge seat, stand in contrast you believe need to be focused on statistically signiicant colleges. West, please vote here rather than at Today’s Varsity survey, with its to Varsity’s survey, which found that should he get elected this May”. What is clear is that the Ashcroft home... his was our third strongest more comprehensive polling of the the Liberal Democrats came a full ive When asked whether she thought polling for Cambridge was signii- youth demographic, paints a diferent per cent behind the Greens among re- this constituted a conlict of interest, cantly lacking in representation from College Winning party picture, with the Liberal Democrats spondents who said they would vote in and whether she would have adver- 18-24 year olds, students whose votes Christ’s Labour polling third among students who plan Cambridge. tised a Lib Dem or Tory event in the could be decisive in this marginal con- to vote in Cambridge at 20.3 per cent – Indeed, this Green surge is cor- same manner, she insisted she did not stituency come 7th May. Clare Green nearly ive per cent behind the Greens roborated by national data. he Tab act improperly. With less than two weeks until poll- and 13 per cent behind Labour. national, in a poll released on 21st “I don’t particularly see my publi- ing day, the Varsity survey should Corpus Tory Student disafection with the Liberal April, revealed the same trend as cising Daniel Zeichner’s visit to the help focus the conversation on this Downing Tory Democrats, often attributed to Nick Varsity’s overall survey; Labour is fa- college bar as a result of my political representation. Clegg’s broken promise not to raise voured among students, followed by Emma Green annual tuition fees from £3,000 to the Conservatives, with the Greens £9,000, could prove decisive in the up- coming in third place in front of the Methodology Fitz Labour coming election. Liberal Democrats. Girton Labour Such disafection is relected in the Similarly, a survey conducted of over ✓ This survey was only accesible through the National Union of Students ‘Liar Liar’ 500 Cambridge inalists by High Flyers Caius Tory campaign, launched last week, which last week found that the Conservatives Cambridge-specific ‘Raven’ portal, meaning it was seeks to target those 36 Lib Dem MPs and Labour were tied at 31 per cent, only open to those afiliated with the university. Homerton Labour who voted to increase tuition fees with Greens taking third place at 23 Jesus Green/Labour in 2010, though some criticised the per cent and the Liberal Democrats ✓ The sample size of this survey was 6 per cent of the £40,000 cost of the campaign. coming last with only 12 per cent. King’s Labour A counter-campaign has been set up grad and undergrad population of Cambridge. Magdalene Labour called #trollNUS, which encourages Cambridge political culture: students to undermine the “long tradi- men vote Tory ✓ Because each response was associated with a Murray Ed Labour tion” of Labour dominance in the NUS unique code anonymously linked to each Raven by donating to the Lib Dems. he political culture of Cambridge Newnham Green As a second-year student from students frequently features in the lo- log-in, this meant any duplicate responses could Pembroke Tory/Green Emmanuel told Varsity: “As one of the cal and national press. Controversy be filtered out in the final calcuations. few year groups that, in all probabil- broke out on 15th April after a Vice Queens’ Labour ity, will ever be afected by the highest video entitled ‘Talking Politics with ✓ Homerton and Girton Colleges were treated tuition fees that this country has ever Drunk Tofs at the Oxford and Cam- Selwyn Labour seen, I could never vote Lib Dem in bridge Boat Race’ claimed to represent separately in the calcuation for the Cambridge St Cats Tory/Green/Labour this election.” the political views of those attending seat, as they fall in the South Cambridgeshire Ilott, however, insists that “our these two universities. he Tab retali- constituency. Students at these colleges can St John’s Tory [Green] appeal for young people isn’t ated, stating that “Rather than trying just about how much money we’d leave to counter the issues [the presenter] therefore not vote in the Cambridge constituency. Trinity Tory in their pockets”. has with ingrained elitism, he is per- News Friday 24th April 2015 5
varsity general election survey 2015
2% FEMALE 38% 32% MALE 27% FEMALE 15% MALE 22% 19%
FEMALE 28% 22% MALE 17% FEMALE 17% 24% MALE 30%
HOME... Students voting in their home constituency 100 40 60 80 20 0
Students voting in the Cambridge constituency ...AND AWAY
51% 41% 37% 29% m most mo ur tory st gr Most Labo libde E COLLEG COLLEG een COLLEG E E most E COLLEG
murray downing edwards emmanuel magdalene 1,063 unique respondents in total, 974 of whom specifi ed who they would vote for; results are collated into the pie chart. In the calculation of voting patterns between Cambridge and home constituencies, the 95 respondents from Homerton and Girton Colleges were excluded, as they fall in the South Cambridgeshire constituency. Of 727 unique respondents who indicated their intention to vote in Cambridge, 683 indicated which party they would be voting for, whose results are collated on the “Home” graph. Of 185 unique entries who indicated their intention to vote in home constuencies, 169 indicated which party they would be voting for, whose results are collated on the “Away” graph. Of 1,063 unique respondents, 1,043 specifi ed their gender, of whom 584 were male and 454 female, of whom 544 and 411 respectively indicated which party they would vote for. Of 1,063 unique respondents, 1,030 indicated college affi liation. Colleges were judged as statistically signifi cant if they returned more than 30 respondents who indicated an intention to vote; see facing for the 19 colleges included. 6 Friday 24th April 2015 News Campaigning i
With student societies taking on ever more campaign roles, Varsity spends a day following the new breed of student activists
Richard Nicholl Political Editor
nine-point lead over Labour. But as tells me he’s 18 and attends Hills Road “It’s like a really awkward school dis- ‘Grrr, how can this person be so…’” Liberal Ashcroft himself noted, it’s only a Sixth Form. He is lanked by a lower- co, isn’t it?” It is. Watching the two She waves her hands around. race once one mentions the name sixth activist called Dale, whose scarf groups trade members and split of Meanwhile, Chloe has got herself Democrats: of the Liberal Democrat candidate, is bigger than his head. into little groups, it is all I can do to into another long conversation. I Julian Huppert: without his name Suddenly, Nomi loses her patience not start tapping out the rhythm to eavesdrop; the subject of tuition fees #winninghere? on the ticket, Labour would be set standing around in front of the station ‘Cotton-Eyed Joe’. comes up. She later describes them to win by ive points. Any candidate after a train comes in bearing no ac- here is some confusion outside as ‘soft Labour’, and then she stops. he sun lit up the railway station in who can shift the polls by 14 points tivists. We set of to King’s College by Queens’ College as we run into a large “I should have mentioned that Julian brilliant Liberal yellow, where a small in his favour is undoubtedly formida- taxi, where in the Chedwyck room she group of local party activists, accom- voted against tuition fees, shouldn’t huddle of activists from the Cam- ble, drawing support from Labour, the rallies the troops. panied by the man of the moment, Dr I?” she says thoughtfully. I look at a bridge Student Liberal Democrats Conservatives and the Green Party. “LIBERALS!” she barks, and the Julian Huppert. It is quite important, lealet in my pocket that proudly de- (CSLD) were waiting for their fellow he personalisation of the room murmurs in attention. She out- apparently, that Huppert is not seen clares Huppert’s brave rebellion on activists. I went to meet them on the Cambridge contest is something lines the plans for the day, every so to be exceeding the passenger capac- tuition fees, and smile helpfully. Liberal Youth National Action Week- Nomi Farhi, the Chair of CSLD, often shooting me a glance as I buzz ity of his car. Eventually, though, car Perhaps it’s more of a problem than end on Saturday, as dozens of young freely admits. “Everyone just really around taking photographs. We are space is sorted, and I am dispatched to I think. Some people refuse a lealet, Liberal Democrats from across the loves Julian!” she says, to nods of ap- Cherry Hinton with Nomi, Chloe, two either because they have too many country descended on Cambridge. proval from the student activists. other activists and Lucy Nethsingha, or because they’re busy, usually with At irst it was quite hard to tell where “Even Labour activists secretly love the County Councillor for Newnham. children. From an open window at they were. I then spotted a lash of a Julian.” Apparently there is a new We are in deep Labour territory. All one house, we can hear a baby gur- yellow Lib Dem badge on a coat and Huppert hashtag (#UpheHupp) and four of the councillors for this area, gling. It’s a quiet cul-de-sac here, but went over to introduce myself. One another activist tells me that they’ve ANY CANDIDATE WHO CAN at the City and County levels, are an Ocado lorry rumbles by worry- activist, Chloe, suggests that they try taken to calling him ‘J-Hupps’. I men- Labour. he Vote Labour signs stick- ingly close. to look more liberal: suggestions in- tion the other moniker he’s earned SHIFT THE POLLS BY 14 ing out of hedges and stuck to walls “I suppose we’d better stop stand- clude wearing socks with sandals and in Cambridge, “Huppert the mup- look like brightly-coloured sniper ing in the middle of the road,” Lucy engaging in same-sex kisses. Chloe pet”, but they’re too busy singing Bob POINTS IN HIS FAVOUR IS nests. Eventually, Lucy parks and says. herself is wearing a No More Page Marley’s classic ‘One Love’ to notice. UNDOUBTEDLY FORMIDABLE peers at her clipboard as we extricate “Well, you know what Bevan said 3 t-shirt, as endorsed by the Liberal So what about the others? “I kind of ourselves from her people-carrier. about people who stand in the middle Democrat international development want to help out the Greens because We move slowly along Headington of the road,” I reply. minister Lynne Featherstone (and they’re just so useless at campaign- Close, with each activist taking one She looks at me for a moment. modelled by Harriet Harman, deputy ing,” says Callum Delhoy, the Liberal to be divided into several canvassing house at a time. Lucy mostly stands “Sometimes they get to direct the leader of the Labour Party). Democrat PPC for Daventry (incum- groups, and for more detailed plan- back, recording whether the people at traic,” she says briskly. he Liberals are in good spirits, and bent: Chris Heaton-Harris (Con), ning she passes over to Nicola, a local Number 23 are occupied or whether hat’s certainly the theme of the they have reason to be. he best news who received 56.5 per cent of the vote activist. “Let’s get Julian re-elected, Number 35 is a staunch UKIPer. One Liberal Democrat campaign this time for them in months was the most in 2010). “hey don’t get any data.” guys!” cries Nomi, and she is met by man, who undoes three or four locks around – to portray themselves as a recent Ashcroft poll in Cambridge, Delhoy is tall, broad and bearded, so I an exhausted but enthusiastic cheer. before he opens the door, engaged moderating inluence on the two ex- giving them, with 40 per cent, a have to do a double-take when Nomi Nicola insists that the assembled Chloe in quiet but intense conversa- tremes of Labour and Conservative. Liberal Democrats focus on the suc- tion for a few minutes. When Julian Huppert comes to ad- cesses of the coalition government, “How was that?” I ask when she dress the party’s communal lunch in with a particular emphasis on Julian walks away, the door clicking shut be- St Paul’s Church on Hills Road, just Huppert’s occasional rebellions. hind her. across from his campaign hub, the Undeterred by the hint of paradox, “Well, he’s not voting Labour,” she emphasis is on a moderate immigra- she tells the yellow army to avoid says hopefully. At the next house, tion policy, instead of “chasing the negativity about other candidates, but we lose her for ten minutes to the UKIP vote”, as Huppert puts it. reminds us to tell Labour voters that occupier. Huppert really is the man around Advertise with us Labour is “crap on the NHS and crap I ask Nomi if they often get long whom this whole campaign is revolv- on the economy”. conversations on the doorstep. “Not ing, and even the atrocious national here is one other thing. “We’re los- really. But out here there’s a lot of eld- poll ratings for the Lib Dems don’t To advertise in any of our print publications or on our website, ing the slateboard war to Labour,” she erly people. I sometimes think they seem to be restraining their enthusi- please contact our Business Manager says reproachfully. just want someone to talk to,” she says asm for their candidate. As they smile Telephone: 01223 337575 “Slateboards don’t vote!” one activ- sadly. “I think we’re providing a sort of for the camera with a shout of “Up the ist heckles, but he is quickly hushed public service.” Hupp!”, there’s a round of applause Email: [email protected] as the outsiders are divided from lo- Does she ever lose her patience? and a cheer. hen they split and de- cals and students, then paired up with “Not to their faces,” she says, smiling part for another round of canvassing, Website: www.varsitypublications.co.uk each other to go out canvassing. One ruefully. “Sometimes they’ll close the the golden boy in tow. Whether it will man, leaning against a pillar, mutters: door and I’ll turn away and just go last, however, remains to be seen. News Friday 24th April 2015 7 ng in Cambridge
retweets last night,” he says. He’s re- doors with his university card. I stand “hey shipped people in.” is now on his ifth attempt to get into Labour: ferring to the Katie Hopkins poster, with Rory outside a fresher’s room, Meanwhile, the talk of the table is Parliament, and his campaign got of which went viral the day before. Even feeling faintly out of place. He knocks. a comment from UKIP’s candidate, to a rocky start after he only narrowly old dogs, new the French press picked up the story. here is a pause. Distantly, a toilet Patrick O’Flynn, at last night’s hustings won the selection in 2012. Councillor It certainly seems to have struck a lushes. “Good start,” he says, knock- describing the audience as “the same George Owers described him as a “ter- tricks chord, but the Labourites around me ing on the other three doors. Nobody 250 liberal middle-class do-gooders rible candidate” at the time, and local don’t pay much attention to it: plan- is in, so we move on. Most people have moving from hall to hall,” compar- gossip says the party divided over his In the shadow of the Soviet lag in ning continues apace, with tactical already registered and several are in- ing it to the allegedly biased audi- selection. King’s Bar sits the Executive Commit- chewing gum handed out and little ternational students who can’t vote, ence faced by Nigel Farage at the BBC “I like him. He’s very passionate tee of the Cambridge Universities La- cards distributed. he intention today but everyone who answers is (surpris- Challengers’ Debate a few days before. about the stuf he’s running on, but bour Club (CULC), scarlet cards and is to knock on doors across fresher ac- ingly) receptive to the Labour group, “I suppose if you know you’re going there is that… candidate-itis,” says crumpled lealets spread haphazardly commodation, as freshers were never even a man puing up some stairs to lose, you might as well have some Fred. He shudders slightly. “All can- over a table. I have never seen a more registered by their colleges and had to with a heavy-looking suitcase. fun with it,” says Tom. UKIP does not didates get it. hey love talking to exhausted-looking group of activists: register individually at this election. Going round the John’s fresher ac- look likely to win this seat, sitting at people.” As we leave Emmanuel, the when I see them on Sunday 19th April, I ask Rory if he has any concerns commodation takes the best part of around 3 per cent in Cambridge polls; Labourites are falling over themselves they are nine days into their ten-day about knocking on doors when most an hour. Towards the end Rory takes a a lamppost outside bears a sticker say- in surprise at the positive response. pre-election campaigning blitz, known people are preparing for exams, pre- call and gives me a nudge. ing LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR: SKIP Some are suggesting they do some as CULC Camp. When I arrive, they lims or otherwise. He hesitates for “Would you like to speak to Cleo?” UKIP. One Twitter user reacting to more daytime campaigning, and we are putting the inishing touches to a moment. “We do, yeah, and that’s Cleo Newton is the designer of the the video of O’Flynn’s comments de- say goodbye to Daniel Zeichner. their plan for today’s voter registration why we’re not doing it on behalf of Katie Hopkins poster – truly the wom- scribed him as a “hunderbirds villain I part ways with Labour at King’s drive, the day before the deadline. the Labour Party. he focus today is an of the moment. I say yes, and soon I made lesh”. Bar once again, taking a few inal pho- “We’re all so tired,” say two of them just on voter registration.” He gestures am talking to her in Second Court. She Next on the menu are several col- tographs and listening in on logisti- in perfect unison. “We’re all complete- to the cards, which are indeed non- is quiet, though she speaks with nerv- leges lacking a present CULC member, cal planning. he election is going to ly dead till we get to the doorsteps,” partisan besides a little drawing of a ous rapidity, and seems utterly bewil- among them my college, Emmanuel. be very, very tough for both parties: says Holly Higgins, “But then…” She Labour-marked ballot paper going dered by her newfound popularity. I hesitantly raise a hand and ofer to Huppert seems to have a comfortable mimes perking up, grinning, opening into a box. “We wanted to do something with guide them to the fresher accommo- lead, but the strong student vote could her eyes wide in the manner of a serial he same cannot be said for the an edge, something diferent, some- dation, emphasising my non-partisan overturn that, especially in light of murderer. lealets being handed out, nor the thing humorous,” she says. he timing credentials as a sort of protective in- the polling results released by Varsity Something catches her eye, and most perplexing piece of publicity that was an accident, as the poster was de- cantation. Zeichner ofers to come today. Moreover, the Lib Dems have she snatches up a Liberal Democrat CULC have come up with: door-hang- signed and printed the day before her along, so I jump at the chance. a doubly hard job, ighting to break a lealet. ers, which are to be hung on the han- column in the Sun emerged, in which “We’ve met before, haven’t we?” he Labour majority in the City Council “Are you actually serious?” she dles of freshers who aren’t in. SHOW she refers to migrants drowning in the says suddenly on Petty Cury. Indeed as well as defend their parliamentary shouts, drawing looks of alarm from THEM THE DOOR, they scream Mediterranean as being “like cock- we have: I interviewed him last term. candidate. her comrades. She frantically indicates above the famous picture of David roaches”. CULC found themselves He apologises for not recognising me he next few weeks promise to be to a piece of Huppert campaign mate- Cameron and Nick Clegg on the door caught up in a perfect news storm. sooner. exhausting. Many of the students for rial distributed to Cambridge colleges of 10 Downing Street. “We also wanted to show we’re a “When you’re in that semi-glazed both parties, are knowingly sacriic- which claims that Labour pledged to “his is what revolution looks like, party with serious policies,” she con- state, things start to blur together.” I can ing good performance in their degrees abolish tuition fees in 2010. guys!” says Holly, with only a hint of tinues, referring to the other pledges understand. I’ve met Julian Huppert to elect their favoured candidate, “We never said that! hat’s a lat- irony. hey do seem to be more or- on the underoccupancy penalty, zero- three times since I interviewed him even inalists. here is more warmth out lie!” says Rory Weal, the Chair of ganised than the Liberal Democrats hours contracts and unpaid intern- and he didn’t recognise me once, but and more professionalism in CULC, CULC. Rory is something of a celeb- were, and far more so than the paid ships, “but we don’t take ourselves then again, he is a busy sitting MP. but the Cambridge Student Liberal rity, having made national news when volunteers for CUSU. CUSU are run- too seriously. I think negative politics By the time we get to the Emmanuel Democrats have a strong record to he gave an impassioned speech to ning their own voter registration drive doesn’t really get through.” freshers’ accommodation in South defend and are lush with national Labour’s national conference in 2011, today, but a group of ive of them are Our time is up and we are whisked Court, though, Zeichner is in his ele- money. Huppert remains a good ad- at the age of 16. sitting across from CULC in the bar back to King’s to regroup and for the ment. “I haven’t decided how I’m vot- vertisement for the Lib Dems. It is in It soon becomes apparent that what and are mostly sitting and chatting in party members to receive their orders. ing yet,” says one slightly bemused their interests to keep him where he is, the letter is referring to is Ed Miliband’s front of a somewhat lacklustre board. he parliamentary candidate, Daniel fresher as she opens her door. and in Labour’s to dethrone him. preference, during the Labour leader- One of them is wearing a braid of Zeichner, is there giving the ofending “Well, let me try and convince you!” Watching this hard, often fraught ship election, to abolish tuition fees lowers in her hair. Nobody is talking Liberal Democrat lealet from earlier says Zeichner, beaming and striding race play out, it is diicult not to be and replace them with a graduate tax. to them as the inal Labour groups are another roasting. across the hallway to engage her in excited by democracy in action – and he tax goes unmentioned. dispatched. “hey ixed that one,” says Zeichner conversation, for a good ive minutes diicult not to think that whoever Tom Wilson, the campaigns oicer, I head of with Rory and three other latly, referring to an exit poll from a or so. wins will have worked incredibly hard smirks and waves his phone to cheer activists to John’s, as one of the group recent hustings that showed the Lib I talk to one of the Labourites, Fred to get there. To the winner, the spoils the others up. “We broke a thousand lits up and down the stairs, opening Dems far in the lead on 40 per cent. Jerrome, about the candidate. Zeichner – and God help the losers. 8 Friday 24th April 2015 News Owen Jones rallies student left to Labour benefi ts claimants, was part of an elit- T ll Sch fer ist Conservative strategy of “divide Deputy News Ed tor and rule”. According to Jones, “ ey’re saying don’t be angry for being
In light of the upcoming election, the robbed… Be angry at the undeserving PETER LLOYD-WILLIAMS Cambridge Universities Labour Club neighbour who wasn’t robbed.” hosted an evening with Guardian col- Attacks on the Conservative Party umnist Owen Jones on 20th April. were accompanied by a concerted Jones, the author of the bestsell- eff ort to discredit the policies of the ing books ‘Chavs: e Demonisation Liberal Democrats. Attendees of of the Working Class’ and ‘ e the event were called on to “kick out Establishment – And How ey Get every Lib Dem we can out of all con- Away With It’, reminded students stituencies”. For Jones, the Liberal that they are an important electoral Democrats’ U-turn on tuition fees in demographic in a constituency that combination with Huppert’s alleged is currently a tight Labour-Liberal support of the bedroom tax and the Democrat contest. e Guardian col- privatisation of the NHS, underlined umnist also made several references why no Cambridge student should to the recent CULC posters mock- vote Liberal Democrat. ing the conservative opinions of Katie Having analysed the coalition’s poli- Hopkins, who, he insisted, is the “most cies, Jones readjusted the focus of his odious individual that has ever lived”. speech to explain his support of the Jones was quick to criticise the Labour Party, despite his frequent content of the Conservatives’ general criticisms of previous Labour govern- Jones’ talk was moved to the Lady Mitchell after over 700 people expressed interest on Facebook election campaign, arguing: “ ey ments. Jones admitted that he would During the question and answer UKIP government that would be the were dispelled by Jones, who stressed know they’re going to lose… that’s prefer a more left-wing party, however session that followed, concerns about ultimate guarantor of Scottish inde- that until 2008, the Conservatives why they’re so vicious.” According to insisted he “would rather argue [with] Labour’s tough line on immigra- pendence, not a Labour-SNP coalition. had supported every economic deci- Jones, this strategy was to blame for a Labour government than fi ght a tion were answered by Jones with a According to Jones, the Conservatives sion that Labour had made. the ‘vilifi cation’ of Miliband. Conservative one”, a sentiment which personal story of the help his grand- are pursuing a “scorched earth tactic” Jones concluded his visit to Jones focused heavily on inequality elicited applause from the audience. mother received at an NHS hospital against Scotland and are demonising Cambridge by criticising inequality within the UK. e fact that the UK is Jones received further applause by immigrant staff . Jones went further Sturgeon, which will inevitably lead to in education, advocating a removal the sixth largest economy in the world when he proposed the necessity of by likening Katie Hopkins’ comments a strong Scottish independence move- of public schools’ charity status and in terms of GDP, yet still has one in nationalising the UK’s railway net- about refugees to the type of rhetoric ment in the case of a Tory victory. an increase in early education invest- four children living in overcrowded work and drew comparisons between prevalent under the Nazis and by dis- e Guardian columnist continued ment. According to Jones, an ‘AAB’ at accommodation and millions of peo- Chartists, suff ragettes and the crea- crediting UKIP’s credentials as out- by emphasising his support for elec- a state school in an ex-mining village ple on social housing waiting lists, tors of the NHS, all of whom he sees sider politicians, by claiming they, like toral reform. Jones argued that in the should be seen as equal to an ‘AAAA’ exemplifi es, in Jones’ eyes, a govern- as proponents of “progress against the many politicians, were privately edu- case of a hung parliament or a mi- at Eton. ment policy of “socialism for the rich, oppressive teeth of the leadership”. cated ex-City-boys. nority government, the largest party e fi nal words of the evening were capitalism swim-or-sink for the rest”. He concluded his speech with the When one audience member asked should off er the electorate a referen- uttered by Daniel Zeichner, Labour He went on to argue that national words “let’s stand together, let’s win Jones to estimate the likelihood of an dum on electoral reform. candidate for Cambridge, who rhetoric aimed at vilifying certain so- together and let’s fi ght this battle SNP-Labour coalition, he responded eories concerning the link be- claimed: “If it’s not a Labour victory in cial groups, such as immigrants and together.” by claiming it would be a Tory-DUP- tween Labour and the economic crash Cambridge, it’s a Tory government.” Interview: Owen Jones
not expected of Cambridge students. the electorate when deciding who to vote for that has resulted in “a country that is frankly dis- Ell e Olco Yet Cambridge is still undeniably a place – it features below the economy, immigration integrating”. He would also like to see a tougher Interv ews Ed tor where these kinds of “trappings” fl ourish. So and the NHS in surveys of important electoral approach from Labour towards dictatorships, what does he think of the fact that his employer, issues. However, it seems to me the an area again where Blair’s record is mixed. He I don’t think anyone is under any illusion as to e Guardian, is sponsoring the white tie issue has been unfairly marginal- is thus condemns Western support of absolute where Jones’ political allegiances lie; the left- Peterhouse May Ball? He is taken aback. ised from the election coverage. monarchies in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, a policy wing writer, who has an impressive cult-follow- “Oh. I didn’t realise that.” Despite relative disengagement he argues perpetuates terrorism. ing of 277,000 loyal fans on Twitter, was as clear How does he respond to this con- with foreign policy among the “Pressure needs to be put to bear on Labour in person as he is in 140 characters about his troversial move from a left-wing pubic, the toxic legacy left by to shift on that,” he says, arguing he has not seen beliefs in his talk to the Cambridge Universities paper? He pauses. “ e Guardian the Iraq campaign on the Party this kind of approach from the opposition since Labour Club earlier this week. With the social- sponsors all sorts of random stuff ,” still causes great disaff ection 2010. He argues for “a totally diff erent Western ist revolution still pending, however, Jones is he says hesitantly. “It’s certainly not among many left-leaning vot- policy”, one based “on democracy and on human spending the general election campaign rallying my department. I have no editorial ers. So is Miliband taking the rights” rather than war and invasions. the troops to Labour. But why, indeed, has he control. Would I personally sponsor Party in the right direction? Jones persuasively protested during his talk come to speak in Cambridge? Jones has a history a white tie ball? No. But if that’s what “It is welcome that he broke that he would prefer to argue to force a Labour of vocal criticism of what he regards as elitism in e Guardian wants to do, that’s their with the New Labour approach,” government to make good its pledges on social Britain’s top two universities; in 2011 he wrote a money, I guess.” Jones tells me. “He made it clear reform than fi ght with a Tory one to stop poli- piece for LabourList entitled ‘Abolish Oxbridge’. Jones is a forthright advocate for during his leadership campaign cies such as the Bedroom Tax which, he argues, When pressed, however, he gives me a slightly the Labour Party, and why and since that the Iraq War was further marginalise the most deprived. But tempered alternative to the abandoning the students in particular a calamity.” while his support for Labour on domestic issues universities. He proposes allocating a “certain should vote for them: He is also encouraged by is clear and passionate, his mixed attitudes to- amount of places automatically for the bright- for him, they are Miliband’s “critical” stance wards Western foreign policy in general seems est kids from working class backgrounds”, telling the only party that on what he calls “the to leave him doubtful that the next Labour gov- me that many kids from these backgrounds are will fi ght for the Israeli state’s contin- ernment will change the status quo that Blair’s discouraged from applying because Oxbridge is working class and ued occupation of the government worked to support, with a greater a “completely alien world to them”. place the issue of Palestinian people focus on promoting human rights than engaging “It’s got the trappings of a certain type of elit- social mobility and the attack on in bilateral foreign intervention. In this regard, ism,” Jones continues. “It feels very, very off - fi rmly back on their human rights.” Labour does not have a leg to stand on, espe- putting”. Jones admits media portrayals such as the agenda. But Jones still cially in its criticism of Russia. VICE’s recent ‘investigative’ documentary inter- He does not has his criticisms, “Russia has undermined international norms, viewing drunk ‘toff s’ at the annual Oxbridge boat support the “Miliband wasn’t but that is what the West did in Iraq,” he tells me. race make him feel “sick”. “It’s unfortunate that Party’s every critical in the way “ eir moral high ground has been completely they basically tracked down intentionally the move, how- I would have been eroded.” But the problems require more than most obnoxious sounding people”, he observes, ever, and was about the war in foreign policy change. because it makes it seem like those universities less enthusi- Libya,” he “ e problem with international law is that it are “full of these types of people”. astic about concedes, a is disregarded at a whim by large powers [when] But his outlook isn’t entirely pessimistic. Labour’s for- confl ict inconvenient.” “Cambridge is actually slightly better than Oxford eign policy From this perspective, it will require more in terms of dealing with some of the trappings,” record dur- work than one government could muster to he tells me. A graduate of University College, ing his CULC genuinely promote the tenants of democracy Oxford, he laments his alma mater’s insistence talk. ough it is and human rights. Particularly when that gov- on wearing a full suit and gown – “and the right true that foreign policy re- ernment is drawn from the same Party that led colour shoes,” he adds – to sit exams, something mains less of an issue for Britain into Iraq.
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1 college had no 7 offi cial policy 8 had some internal sent new tutors to 8 training separate CUSU training ‘encourage’ from CUSU or ‘support’ ongoing training 7 5 had no concrete info, reported some or did not attend CUSU external training training
t seems a truth universally ac- asked how many tutors took the CUSU college had “no specifi c policy” per- tutor,” Amy said. “In my view, she is a were spotted by a member of college knowledged in Cambridge that welfare training, and what the college’s taining to training all tutors even once, key reason why Murray Edwards con- staff on Trumpington Road. tutors are consistently inconsist- policy is on training all tutors, as op- let alone in terms of refresher courses. tinues to be such a caring and support- Although a spokesperson for the ent. For every positive story about posed to only those appointed from Seven colleges sent their new tutors ive environment.” university stated that “the University aI tutor providing valuable assistance to 2014. is, I hoped, would provide a to CUSU’s tutor training, but equally, But it seems glaringly obvious that has no power to ban a student from a student in hardship, there seem to be broader idea of the consistency – or another seven could not off er me any Amy’s positive experience was, at least the city or prevent them from living 10 anecdotes involving impassive, un- lack thereof – within Cambridge’s tu- concrete information. e phrase “the in part, down to pure chance in being in Cambridge, especially if this is their helpful or obstructive tutors. torial system. college encourages ongoing training” assigned a competent tutor. CSIM has main residence”, they could not com- I’ve developed this hypothesis from It was immediately clear some col- often cropped up in responses, but countless anecdotes of unluckier stu- ment on individual cases. e CSIM seeing the testimonies published by leges’ tutorial offi ces were far more even this was referring to internal prac- dents who have to cope with the added testimony concluded with the student student campaigns such as Cambridge organised than others. Some were un- tice rather than anything standardised. stress of unhelpful tutors, as well as remarking that they are “too afraid of Speaks Its Mind (CSIM), but also from helpfully vague; Clare admitted that Girton, Homerton, Emmanuel, welfare issues. losing my place at Cambridge to go any my own experiences with tutors. none of their eight tutors had attended Fitzwilliam, Trinity, Downing and further than the end of my road”. In my fi rst year, I had a tutor I can CUSU’s training but had undergone Clare all stated that their tutors have e veritable barrage of anecdotes at only describe as utterly disinterested. “informal training … on a weekly basis weekly meetings and/or informal CSIM and similar campaigns is testa- My fi rst, and only, meeting with him within College”, while Newnham cryp- training within college: but, crucially, ment to the remaining disparities in lasted barely two minutes; he was the tically said that “it is unknown how there is no way to compare what ‘in- the system. As one student linked to last person I would have gone to in a many of Newnham’s tutors went to [the formal training’ means from college to “THINK ABOUT HOW CSIM told me, “it’s impossible to know crisis. Luckily there were alternative CUSU] training day”, maintaining that college. Students are left at the mercy DISGUSTING YOU ARE” how ‘good’ a tutor is going to be at forms of support available within my all have had “some welfare training”. of whatever college authorities deem their job until they have been assigned college, and in my second year I was re- Still, both Newnham and Clare were appropriate, leaving their welfare de- to you.” Although he added the caveat assigned to a more approachable tutor. more helpful than the tutorial offi ces pendent on the college they attend. that there is usually “a handful of de- Personal experiences aside, it is clear at Queens’, Peterhouse and Emmanuel, Murray Edwards quickly emerged One student detailed in an anony- cent tutors in each college”, the struggle tutors have always been subject to crit- which, when asked how many tutors as the most well-equipped; the col- mous testimonial that when she was lies in convincing colleges to re-assign icism in Cambridge; CUSU ran a suc- lege runs fortnightly discussion groups suff ering from depression and bulimia a student from a bad to a good tutor cessful campaign to introduce train- to discuss welfare provision and also and was self-harming, her tutor told during a diffi cult period. ing for all new tutors in 2014, hailed provides specifi c training for tutors her to “think about how disgusting e solution? Presumably honed as “a win” by then-Welfare and Rights on issues such as eating disorders and you are” and to stop herself purging, from his CSIM involvement, the same Offi cer Helen Hoogewerf-McComb. self-harming. Tutors are also specifi - and said that she was jeopardising her student suggested that “all tutors e training was obviously designed “IF YOU DO THAT TO cally trained with regards to disabled friends’ welfare and exam perform- should undergo training... not just new to combat an inconsistent system in students, while Cambridge Rape Crisis ance, despite the tutor then revealing tutors, all of them”, adding that specifi c which many tutors were only informal- YOURSELF, WHAT’S TO SAY conducted a training session with the confi dential details to these friends training should be included to support ly trained, if at all. tutors, porters and nurse about sup- about her conditions. suff erers of mental health conditions, But the new training, implemented YOU WON’T GO AND CUT porting victims of sexual assault. e tutor also demanded to see the disabled students and survivors of sex- for the fi rst time in October 2014, is SOMEBODY ELSE’S ARMS Amy Leach, a second year student at cuts from her self-harm before declar- ual abuse, along with clearer guidelines not mandatory and only applies to new Murray Edwards, had an overwhelm- ing her to be a “danger to the commu- on fi nancial hardship. tutors. Inconsistencies would seem to UP?” ingly positive experience after tear- nity”, justifying this with “if you do that Student feedback was also raised as remain, but is it just that the awful sto- ing her knee ligaments several times to yourself, what’s to say you won’t go an issue which is too often dismissed; ries and testimonies are always more over the course of a year, describing and cut somebody else’s arms up?” “if a tutor receives enough negative memorable, creating a biased image of her college as “extremely supportive”. Another harrowing testimony from feedback, they should step down from the true state of tutors in Cambridge? had attended CUSU training, replied e Senior Tutor, Juliet Foster, kept in CSIM was of a student who felt they their position... their ability to support ose stories are the ones, after all, mysteriously that they did not “hold “continual contact” by email and was were under “house arrest” after inter- students should be paramount.” that are posted on Facebook and wide- this information”. able to co-ordinate taxis and a wheel- mitting. Despite living in Cambridge For me, creating mandatory, central- ly shared, whilst someone who has a On the subject of training tutors in chair to help Amy get around college their entire life, the student was in- ly run training is a no-brainer. e ut- positive experience with their tutor is general, Queens’ described training as and town. She also arranged for Amy formed by the Senior Tutor at their ter lack of standardised training creates much less likely to shout it from the “desirable”, but added that they were to sit her exams in college and secured college that they “must not enter the a dangerous lottery of whether your rooftops. “mindful of the pressures (academic an exam warning for her. University, the college, or any part of tutor will be capable of understanding And so I took a representative sam- & otherwise) which may reduce avail- “All in all I could not have asked for the city of Cambridge” and was even and dealing with the problem in a way ple of undergraduate colleges and ability”. Peterhouse even stated that the a more warm and supportive senior threatened with expulsion when they that preserves your dignity. OMG. YOU COULD BE EE. 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12 Friday 24th April 2015 News The Interview: Jeremy Paxman
GET A BLOODY ANSWER
SURAJ MAKWANA Following his grilling of the party leaders, Elissa Foord talks politics and politicians with this former Varsity Editor
ull yourself together!” somewhat war-weary, “You see ‘em He admits that he did once abstain whole, I’m in favour of the govern- accused of being ‘sneering’ towards No equivocation, no come and you see ‘em go. You see one from a General Election but “felt bad ment getting out of people’s lives.” A them. However, he is quick to stress sugar-coating, no tendentious position after another about it immediately.” And once you “It’s not true that they’re all charla- nonsense: even from the being advanced, it does tend to make reach the ballot box? At this, he seems tans. here are many noble igures “Pinterviewee’s side of the Dictaphone, you slightly jaundiced.” Yet his deter- faintly despairing: “I can understand who go into politics.” He continues: Jeremy Paxman takes no prisoners. mination not to be “fobbed of” has that the choice is not attractive. Very “he diiculty is that many of these And, as I found out from this reproof, often it seems like the choice between noble people do not tend to advance no Americanisms either. a lea and a louse.” NOBLE PEOPLE DO NOT as far, perhaps, as they ought to in To be the object of his, albeit Despite taking Russell Brand to task politics. And I am sorry about that… light-hearted, berating places me in for not voting, Paxman does in some TEND TO ADVANCE AS FAR, Of course there are some scoundrels noteworthy, if not consistently good, way engage with his message of politi- PERHAPS, AS THEY OUGHT TO – there are some scoundrels, doubt- company: over the years the public THERE REALLY OUGHT TO BE cal disillusion. As he discusses what is less, even on the staf of Varsity now – have watched him sink his teeth at the front of his mind in the run-up IN POLITICS there are scoundrels everywhere, and into the world’s Blairs, Berlusconis, A BOX ON THE BALLOT PAPER to the election, he notes “there really there are noble people everywhere. Camerons, Milibands and Russell ought to be a box on the ballot paper hat is the human condition.” Brands, to name only a few from a THAT READS ‘NONE OF THE that reads ‘none of the above.’” He He has been often charged with long and distinguished list. Relecting ABOVE’ continues, “If voting were to be made number of papers reported last year taking the Rottweiler treatment too on his portfolio of scalps, he remarks, compulsory, I wouldn’t really have a that he declared himself a one-nation far, or of spreading an irresponsible “I don’t think there’s anything special problem with it, but I do think that we Tory, although he has shied from disdain for Westminster. And it is about me really. Such notoriety or ought to be given that opportunity.” In conirming as much. right to keep an eye on his behaviour reputation as I have is more down to in no way been assuaged, even with recent weeks, he has engaged with the He has also been asked by the given his political sway, but he does how I interpret my job.” Newsnight behind him. he Prime leaders of the two biggest parties on Tories to stand as an MP, and as seem to have a healthy conception of “I think a journalist’s job is to ask Minister himself discovered this all the weightiest issues concerning the Mayor of London, a job he would not his responsibilities. He aims to subject questions, and, if you ask questions, too plainly over Easter, as 2.6 million electorate; yet his primary concern is take for “all the éclairs in Paris.” But, his interviewees all, indiscriminately, you should get an answer... or it viewers watched Cameron writhe to have the choice to cast a vote for a member of CULC in his Cambridge to the highest level of scrutiny he should be abundantly clear that the whilst Paxman pressed him on his none of them. days, he hails from roots further left. can muster. If he can do so fairly, the question is not being answered.” A igures, demanding “do you know Turning to the quality of po- Wherever his beliefs do lie, he is irm democratic eyebrow can be lowered. squirming Michael Howard being and are not telling us, or do you not litical discourse at election time, he that his job should be no platform True, power in our society does asked by Paxman 12 times in a row, know?” remarks, “he idiotic thing about our for them, “You must respect the fact not lie in the hands of elected oicials “did you threaten to overrule him?” His relationship with politics and system is that these people stand up that you shouldn’t use or abuse your alone. And, rightly, his critics stress comes to mind. politicians is complex. However, there and they reduce everything to position in order to relect your, in my that he should not temper his acrimo- “You must get a bloody answer!” one unambiguous commitment he simple binary choices. It’s ‘vote for case, probably pretty incoherent views ny in dealing with those whose power he recapitulates. “he only diference maintains is the importance of voting: me, I’m right; my opponent is wrong.’ on the public.” lies outside the realms of the constitu- between a journalist and everyone “I think that if you live in society, you We all know that life is much more And what of politicians themselves? tional, the chief executives and bank- else is one of opportunity. If you have vote. If you don’t bother to vote, then complicated than that.” In his book, he Political Animal, chairmen that he encounters. But, so that opportunity, you owe it to your you disqualify yourself from ever Paxman is forthright in his belief which discusses the anatomy of the far as his political journalism goes, viewers to get an answer.” passing comment on anything that’s that people should vote, but guarded politician, he presents them as a breed politics is a blood sport: no surprise, A career spent cutting through happening or being done by govern- as to his own allegiances. he most he apart, to be analysed and understood then, that to get results he must go political obfuscation has left him ment… I think it really, really matters.” will reveal on this topic is that “on the with diiculty. He has frequently been straight for the jugular. CommentComment Friday 24th April 2015 13 Classroom porn: the future of sex ed?
ell known throughout the It is generally agreed that most by the time young people reach the behave, when it comes to sex, will al- world for their sexual lib- porn is unrealistic. Surgically crafted age of consent, most will have already low them to become far more critical Weralism, the Scandinavian breasts, insatiable appetites and end- viewed pornography in some form consumers of the industry. countries have always been ahead of less stamina are all frequent features, or another. e diff erence between is suggestion might be regarded the curve when it comes to pornogra- which typically aren’t part of most being shown it at school and viewing as extreme by many. Perhaps, in phy. After having lifted the ban on it people’s sexual encounters. Porn it in private is that the former allows some ways, it is. But what’s impor- in 1967, Denmark was the fi rst coun- does not depict many aspects of real for contextualisation. Viewing and tant is to resist the temptation to try in the world to legalise it in 1969. sex – intimacy, love, mistakes and discussing pornographic material in build a straw man. I’ve seen countless Now, the suggestion of a Danish shortcomings. It sacrifi ces realism for a mature way can teach young people comments on forums in response to sexology professor that pornographic the sake of storyline or fantasy. is how to properly interpret and think this proposal by people who seem images and fi lms should be shown in can place unrealistic expectations on critically about it. If the material is convinced that we as a society are classrooms as part of sex education all genders to live up to unattainable there in front of them, teachers can going to start condoning ‘paedo’ has sparked fi erce debates, and (fairly sexual standards, thereby creating point out the ways in which porn is teachers screening ‘Back-alley Sluts understandably), outrage. serious dents in the sexual confi dence a warped depiction of sex. is can 3’ to 9 year olds. Obviously this is far Millie Paine However, the suggestion shouldn’t of people of all ages. range from reassuring young men from the case – we’re talking about be dismissed for being too extreme Perhaps more damaging is the im- that the size and stamina of porn trained professionals, and moderate too quickly: using pornography as a pact that porn can have on women: stars is unrealistic, to urging young content. What’s important is not to Teenagers have platform for discussion and critical not only does it aff ect what women women that they should not be underestimate the capacity of young engagement may be an invaluable expect of themselves when it comes expected to submit to violence and adults to handle this sort of mate- watched it anyway: aspect of sex education. With the vast to body image and performance, but aggressive sexual behaviour if they rial in a mature fashion; treating majority of young people having ac- a lot of pornography actively depicts don’t want to. students as mature and discussing they might as well do cess to the internet on smartphones misogyny and objectifi cation, focus- What’s more, pornography could things frankly with them makes them and computers, viewing pornography ing on domination and submission. It be used as a platform for discussion more likely to translate this mature it in class has become easier than ever before. promotes the idea that consent to sex regarding many aspects of sexual and sophisticated approach into their Anybody, of any age, has access to a is not necessary, insofar as it depicts health. For example, more of an onus sex lives, throughout adulthood, and plethora of explicit and sometimes non-consensual sex in which women can be placed upon the practice of have the capacity to judge the type of violent imagery at their fi ngertips. As are seen to enjoy it. is can have a safe sex: teachers can emphasise the material that is only going to become a result, most of us will probably have devastating eff ect on the way men importance of practising safe sex more and more accessible to them. had some exposure to pornography view women, potentially normalising even if porn stars don’t. Moreover, e bottom line? Pornography by the time we have our fi rst sexual violence and objectifi cation. porn can be used as the basis of a can have its place in classrooms, and experiences, and the material that we So if pornography is so damaging, discussion on gender stereotypes and could be just what society needs to view can have a signifi cant impact on why would anyone suggest showing it body image: teaching young people combat the warped views of sex and the way we approach sex. in the classroom? First and foremost, what not to think, and how not to gender that it has created. Private schools’ homophobia problem came out at school because I was Seven LGB pupils and recent leavers particularly bad. e group pinned pupils do not hear comments like bored. Impending A Levels and subsequently got in touch; only one the target to his bed and poured a “that’s so gay” daily; nine in ten sec- Ithe monotony of exam term in my was ‘out’ and the rest were not com- ready-prepared bag of vomit over ondary school teachers say they hear last year at a small boarding school in fortable with who they were; I hadn’t him. Standard insults (they didn’t the phrase frequently. northern England just wasn’t cutting spoken to three of them before. One, know he was gay) intensifi ed during Fortunately, change is on the ho- the mustard at what numerous well- a young successful man, stays with the procedure as they shouted “beat rizon for state schools. Bar UKIP, all meaning middle agers were telling me his “girlfriend” to “maintain the illu- the homo”, “fucking fag” and “gay the major parties have have outlined was the prime of my life. sion”. He also lives with depression. piece of shit”. He fell to the fl oor and comprehensive manifesto commit- My confi dant pulled off being si- One younger pupil, worried about they kicked him. at boy was me. ments ade commitments to LGBT multaneously the most outrageously their relationship with God, felt Cases like these are often simply people. Political will is there. homophobic yet confusingly support- uncomfortable taking Communion. classed as standard bullying, not But these policies only apply to ive person I have ever met. Once I’d He feared, I assume wrongly, that his specifi cally instances of homopho- maintained schools. Although the told him, he willingly did the rest. bia. Consequently, a whole culture independent sector is exempt from Summer fi shing brought along the of anti-LGBT sentiment is going many initiatives, they must adhere inevitable ‘do-you-want-my-rod-Mc- unchallenged: the constant “that’s so to standards requiring them to Connel?’ jokes. I learned to describe gay”, which remains unchecked and “encourage respect for other people, exams as “diffi cult”, not “hard”, and sometimes even used by teachers, paying particular regard to the pro- Jack McConnel a handful of girls decided I was now ONLY ONE PER CENT OF the almost non-existence of LGBT tected characteristics set out in the the best thing since Jack Wills started discussions, and the assumption that 2010 [Equalities] Act.” Independent doing tweed. I’d got it good: school LGBT PUPILS DO NOT HEAR everyone is heterosexual until proven schools’ inspectors are unclear on Why we can no longer was almost over and I was the most COMMENTS LIKE “THAT’S SO otherwise are all examples of this how this can be achieved. confi dent I’d ever been – ever. And pervasive, damaging culture. I know some teachers in some ignore homophobia in no-one was trying to nudge me back GAY” EVERY DAY LGBT friends predictably had schools work actively to combat anti- private education into the closet. similar experiences: there was no LGBT attitudes – and that is great. Or so I thought. “Are you sure?!” same-sex sex-ed and the few LGBT But it just isn’t enough: the current was a common refrain. I avoided issues which were discussed in PSHE situation is evidently failing privately- stereotypes after I was told being Housemaster would try to segregate were irrelevant (my favourite: “What educated LGBT+ pupils. is must gay didn’t mean I could “camp it up him from other boarders in case he to do if a gay man approaches you in change. Oxonian and Old Etonian so much”. Others were “fi ne” as long brandished his sexuality. a bar?”). I remember one discussion Jamie Jackson gained national cover- as I didn’t “do any of that gay stuff ”. I was told more recently about on whether we “believe” in transi- age and overwhelming support from is didn’t bother me. Nor did the something termed an ‘arousal test’. tioning. ere were no openly LGBT over 50 former pupils with an open ban on same-sex couples going to the Although the boy ‘passed’ – he was staff , and LGBT-relevant stories letter to his old headmaster express- Leavers’ Ball. I was sure homophobia too scared – he said that what few never featured in assemblies, a daily ing similar concerns. So many more was experienced by other people. It thoughts he had about ‘coming out’ sacrosanct aff air for moral instruc- people identify with the problem. To just wasn’t a thing in the 2010s, right? were quickly banished. ough tion. LGBT people were not ac- this end, a group working to improve Well, no. I realised afterwards more confi dent later, he still could knowledged, certainly never affi rma- attitudes in independent schools has I was the fi rst to come out at the not speak to school staff , friends or tively. And yet the Offi ce for National been set up. We have some power- school – and unfortunately the last. parents about his sexuality. Statistics estimates as many as seven ful proposals and will be discussing ere were rumours of someone in One incident happened during per cent of the population are LGBT. diff erent approaches. Whoever and the 80s hanging himself after doing a weekly ritual involving 10 to 15 With some variation, this is likely wherever you are, if you have an so but back then, I thought, it was boys ganging up on one person after a standard school experience for idea, want to get involved or put us hardly surprising. lights-out – all in good fun, of course. most LGBT people. According to in touch with open-minded teachers, I wonder if it’s so diff erent now. One February night in Year 10 was Stonewall, only one per cent of LGBT get in touch at [email protected]. 14 Friday 24th April 2015 Comment
Homertonian Blues Sarah Sheard
After almost two years at Homer- ton, I’m well-accustomed to miss- ing out on various activities. When Cindies is a dangerous drunken stumble from your room, you be- come blind to the struggles of the Homertonian, who faces a treach- erous cycle, taxi ride or trek into town and risks sobriety upon ad- mission. One thing I never thought I’d miss out on was voting in Cambridge. Homerton falls just outside Cambridge and into South Cambridgeshire, a predicament also shared by our cousin Girton. All my in-depth knowledge of incumbent Julian Huppert’s hourly schedule, honed from a term of relentless campaign emails to the Varsity News account, is wasted. e speculation, calculations and polls on Cambridge mean nothing to me now, try as I might to get ex- cited about what is one of the most unpredictable elections in years. Cambridge is a battleground seat in which the Lib Dems, supposedly haemorrhaging 7 out of 10 voters since the coalition, may just hold onto power with Huppert. Lord Ashcroft’s recent poll set Labour’s Daniel Zeichner on a one per cent lead, although it only consulted 19 people between the ages of 18 and 24; the possibility is a huge swing in- fl uenced by the infl ation of students in term-time, for which Varsity’s election poll is the more useful, and tantalisingly close, survey. Aside this electoral inferno, in- fused with the drama of the reign- Life in the UK after 7th May ing Huppert battling off the Tories and Labour (who each managed a t is two months after the election Desperate for peace and quiet, I Given the misery of my conscious quarter of the votes in 2010), South which saw Ed Miliband and Alex plunge into my nearest café. Awaiting state, I decide not to set my alarm. Cambridgeshire is like watching ISalmond seize power. e deal my scrambled eggs on toast, I rest my Entering the realms of sub- paint dry. e Tories have comfort- struck was a ‘confi dence and supply head on the table. My melancholic consciousness, however, is no more ably held the seat since 1997 with arrangement’, whereby Salmond pro- state, and my increased invocation pleasant. ings aren’t quite what an average 47 per cent share. vided the confi dence and supply which of the British sigh, which, again, they should be. Well some things I have accepted my vote will the electorate denied the Labour Salmond wants to legislate to make are – David Cameron, now in his likely make no diff erence in South leader. Salmond evidently moderated the preserve of the Scots, has not second term as PM, still has his baby Cambridgeshire. is I can deal his terms given the tiny proportion of eluded the notice of all present. One face when I turn on the TV. But with – my home town is a safe votes he garnered: he merely wanted man, Vince Cable, who has now punch-wielding Jeremy Clarkson Labour seat – but to have a ‘useless’ to help write the Budget, oh, and to rid fi nally usurped control of the rump is standing by his side as Foreign vote stripped of potential is infuri- the UK of Trident. Small beer. grouping of Lib Dems, enquires as Secretary. Unsurprisingly, all diplo- ating when I look past Hills Road to e alarm clock rings. It is 8am. I to the cause of my sadness. I tell matic relations with Argentina have Cambridge’s electoral landscape. stir and move towards the bathroom him about the lack of hot water in ceased. However, the appointment Despite daily cycling into before deciding to skip a shower. my ‘mansion’ and, surprisingly, he is of Clarkson is much to the delight of Cambridge and spending most of Chris Rowe e hot water is off – as a result of sympathetic. Cameron’s children who had lament- my time there, my vote is lumped Miliband freezing energy prices at a Good old Vince, pious as ever, tells ed his dismissal from Top Gear. I am in with disparate, generally af- record high, hygiene has now become me that hope is not to be found in less impressed but concede that every fl uent villages throughout South It is two months after a dispensable aff air. God’s salvation (for, after all, I live government needs its own Prescott. Cambridgeshire, most likely full of I can’t exactly complain about in a ‘mansion’ and I was formerly an But who is that boisterous man London commuters. the election, and the being in fuel poverty. It would be investment banker), but rather in behind them, pint in hand? Nigel Hanging out with anyone from futile - now that I live in a ‘mansion’, playing the system. “ e idea of the Farage? I quickly turn the TV off CULC or the Cambridge Lib Dems country has changed in the eyes of the tax collector, I’m not tax was initially mine”, pointed out and decide to go to my local haunt, – I’ll admit I’ve burned some bridg- exactly going to elicit much sympathy. Vince. He went on, “the trick is, my the nearby café. It is closed but has es on the right-wing side of student for the worse... Every morning, I wake up and put friend, to make sure that instead of a helpful sign on the front: ‘Workers politics – is all the more painful some pennies (well, several hundreds having one house, you accumulate needed’. I thought, how strange – when canvassing can make so little of pound coins) in the piggy bank. several under the £2m threshold”. He there used to be several lovely staff . diff erence in a safe seat like this. Better to have no hot water than be conceded this may not be ideal: “If Oh, they were Polish. And while safe seats are only one turfed out of my house. you can’t be bothered with the fuss of I return home to boil the kettle. part of a bigger picture, the fact that Home being no longer particularly countless estate agents, buy a yacht or ‘At least I can aff ord to do that now’, I can’t make much of a diff erence hospitable, I decide to breakfast in two instead – they escape the tax”. I think to myself. e phone rings: a is all the more galling when I hear town. I’ve become used to the bag- Stunned by his prescience, I nev- thoroughly English accent informs inner-city college people declaring pipes playing on the streets; a fraction ertheless see some problems with the me that “your operation has been that they “don’t care about politics” of the UK population has given the peripatetic lifestyle which he espous- cancelled due to the deportation of or aren’t intending to vote. ey SNP a commanding voice in govern- es. “If I buy up multiple properties of our staff ”. I ask when it will be rear- have a real choice in who they want ment. Perhaps, as a result, Scottish lower value, will that not exacerbate ranged. She quickly refers me to the to represent them in Parliament. nationalists no longer wish to leave the current housing crisis, hurting the helpline of some private company, On the other hand, even if the Union. Incidentally, the SNP now poor more than the rich?” Vince was ‘Farage & Co.’ the Tory candidate for South vociferously opposes electoral reform. quick to retort, “the ‘mansion tax’ was I awake. Who knew sleep could be Cambridgeshire was a parrot chant- It seems that the painful sounds of not designed to help the poor. No, so troublesome? Trying to muster the ing “long-term economic plan” on the bagpipes, so closely mimicking it is much more sophisticated than strength to persevere, I can no longer the hour, he’d still get almost half my state of despair, are here to stay. that. It is meant to bash the rich, and turn to the image of the ever-suf- of the votes. I don’t have a choice ese tunes beg the question in my publicly”. fering Nick Clegg. For he has fallen, in that. mind as to why the English independ- Puzzled, I wander back home af- trounced in the last election. at’s ence campaign remains so lacklustre. terwards and decide to return to bed. when I know I’m in trouble. Comment Friday 24th April 2015 15 Class and the Cambridge student
ambridge students are a group personal and well-intended outlook behaviour. Tory and New Labour politicians, of interest to the British right- on Cambridge into a sweeping gen- However, it is fair to say that who have overseen the greatest Cwing media, always portrayed eralisation, has unjustly damaged our the class distribution among the rate of increase in inequality out in a specifi c light. is includes claims public image. Cambridge student body is unrepre- of any rich country since 1975, act that we all share a ‘privileged-and- It is not just the isolated case of sentative of that of the country as a unchecked. we-like-it’ attitude, with no regard Calloway’s interviews that has the whole. is, along with the media’s Arguably against the interest of for wider society or anything other Cambridge student body in the line blatant silence or patronisation when the working class, these papers have than ourselves. ese media outlets of fi re. “[Cambridge] Students are toff it comes to student activism, misrep- used such class-laden divisiveness for use this caricature of the Cambridge their heads” reads a headline from resents us to readers. decades. e Sun and e Daily Mail student to tap into the UK’s obsession e Sun, showing a fairly innocu- e university is working hard to were important negative infl uences with class, but is it also a part of their ous 2009 picture of a drunken girl change this: the 2014 UCAS End of on public opinion during the 1984 widespread advocacy of class war- above an article spewing the usual Cycle Report states that the propor- miners’ strike, the breaking of which fare? hate given to students after Suicide tion of successful applicants from left many working-class communities Recently we saw both e Telegraph Sunday. e Daily Mail summed up areas within the bottom 40 per cent poverty-stricken. and e Daily Mail pick-up articles its determination to attack us in an of higher education participation All mainstream media outlets have Patrick Killoran on the student and social media suc- article regarding the same event, (predominantly working class areas) taken part in the ongoing witch hunt cess Caroline Calloway, whose online contrasting the drunken antics with is greater at Cambridge than the of benefi t frauds, who committed less product consists of packaging her the sophistication of Trinity May national average. than 2 per cent of total fraud in the personal experiences into picture for- Ball, all accompanied with photo- e increase in state-educated UK in 2012, with signifi cantly more Why does the right- mat, often alongside a well-written graphs of the aforementioned girl money being lost in accidental, er- wing media make life commentary. Caroline’s selection and top-hat donning ball-goers. e roneous benefi t overpayments. of personal experiences is defi nitely reader is invited to imagine what our is campaign has led to a shift in straw men out of atypical for the average student – but parents will think “when they see the public opinion whereby the poor- typical doesn’t sell. In a win-win situ- widely distributed photographs” once est working-class people (as well Cambridge students? ation, Caroline was able to self-pro- they’ve speculated how many of us WE ARE USED AS STRAW MEN as many disabled people and single mote her upcoming book, while e will “be in the cabinet in ten years’ parents) are seen as social pariahs Daily Mail got to peddle their image time”. BY RIGHT-WING MEDIA TO and leeches. of Caroline’s “fairytale life… of care- All articles have included anony- REPRESENT THE UPPER CLASS In the television media, shows free days of dreaming spires, black- mous complaints about how our such as Sky1’s ‘Harrow: A Very tie balls and champagne on the river”. behaviour was “absolutely disgust- ELITE British School’, E4’s ‘Made in Chelsea’, e Telegraph dedicates paragraphs ing”, and has usually ruined a fam- Channel 4’s ‘Benefi ts Street’ and to the Pitt Club and Caroline’s extrav- ily day out. A search through e ITV’s ‘ e Jeremy Kyle Show’ all agant anecdotes, such as getting stuck Telegraph’s archives for ‘Cambridge perpetuate class-based fascination in the palace of Versailles and going University students’ reveals articles students at Cambridge was the great- in their viewers and entrench class hunting. ranging from the criticism of barely- est of all UK universities between diff erences and stigmatisation. is depiction is certainly not rep- lewd behavior on a Varsity ski trip to 2012 and 2014, a 5 per cent increase Class warfare is a strong term, and resentative of students’ lifestyles, an analysis of our sex lives based on to 63 per cent, making Cambridge an although Cambridge students aren’t and whereas Caroline uses it to sell a a Tab survey. e ski-trip coverage embarrassing but improving fourth- exactly under constant scrutiny by ‘quintessentially British’ experience, in question was in January 2011, worst in the UK. the media, we are used as straw men the right-wing media have used it the month the Arab Spring began, ese fi gures, although not ideal, by right-wing media to represent the to reveal to a primarily aspirational- and can be found in their World show that the Cambridge University upper-class elite. middle-class readership, falsely, that News section under France. ese student body is far from the tabloids’ We are woven into the media nar- we all live in some upper-class bub- exemplify the coverage we get from depiction of us as a malevolent bunch rative that still uses one-sided class ble. is type of exposure, which right-wing papers for displaying what of elitists. warfare to appeal to working-class has been twisted from its originally is best described as normal student Meanwhile, real elitists, such as the people.
As someone who watches both 65.1 per cent. A UK turnout of 35.4 Britain’s Got Talent, with specta- Question Time and Keeping up per cent for the 2014 European tors using buzzers to make any with the Kardashians regularly, I Parliament elections put the displeasure known. Candidates have often lamented the lack of op- number of voters below the viewer would declare, with a tear in their portunity to bring these two realms ratings of some X Factor fi nals. eye, “ is means the world,” before Millie together, complementary as they so If people would generally prefer being sent home by the buzzer- clearly are. to watch fancy karaoke than have happy electorate. But, a few weeks ago, in an a say on matters which impact Or, stick them in a house and interview which will echo through upon their lives, something must watch things get ugly, Big Brother- the ages, David Cameron revealed be done. And perhaps we should style. Voting would be by text, with to Heat magazine that he was the be looking to Simon Cowell for in- a long process of emotional evic- thirteenth cousin of reality star spiration. Or Ant and Dec. Or the tions. Miliband would be thrown Kim Kardashian-West. entire E! Network. If reality TV is by the kitchen. (Only one?!) Brierley is means a number of things. so able to draw in the nation, then Cameron and Clegg would buckle Firstly, we have fi nally heard our perhaps it could also teach politics under the pressure and have it out Prime Minister say the name – which, for its part, seems to have in the smoking area. TV gold. How to pretend that voting is exciting “Kardashian”, and it was as weird a knack for repelling the nation – a While I’d like to keep TOWIE’s as we ever could have imagined. lesson or two. Amy Childs as far from Question Secondly, some poor sod at Tory So, as we enter the fi nal fortnight Time as possible – and I am (most- HQ was given the job of search- of campaigning, I want to see the ly) not suggesting forcing ballroom ing David Cameron’s name on candidates channelling Cameron’s dancing on the various party lead- Ancestry.com, under instruc- newly-discovered relation with ers (Farage in a sparkly leotard is tions to fi nd “someone big”. (Him some good old-fashioned pander- something nobody wants to see) off of Corrie? Nope. at one ing to the people. How much more – with turnouts as low as they are from that band? Nope. Her with exciting would that seven-way (particularly among youth), it is the bottom? Gold.) irdly, and leaders’ debate have been, if pre- clear that politicians are failing to most importantly, this means sented by Tess Daly and Claudia make the Election exciting. And that the Conservatives believe the Winkleman, and featuring glittery this is a failure indeed. Kardashians to be the way to the Lycra and cheeky Charlestons. So, until this stops being the electorate’s collective heart. Strictly Come Politics? I’d watch case, we must be prepared to do And, on this point, we happen to that. it ourselves – to create our own agree – although perhaps not for And then there’s ITV’s new excitement around poll day. If poli- the same reasons. While Cameron show, Ninja Warrior UK. If we’re tics seems dull, we have to tell our- was, presumably, intending to happy to judge a prospective leader selves that it’s interesting, just long show Britons that he is SO down on his ability to eat a bacon sand- enough to put our cross in the box. with them, what he actually did wich with grace (the only person If parliament looks monotonous was solve a problem that politi- capable of which may be the PM’s and bland, we’re simply going to cians have been scratching their thirteenth cousin herself), then I have to pretend otherwise for now. heads over since they last drew don’t see why we can’t just give the Until someone can truly convince swords in parliament. (Probably). candidates helmets, and ask them Britain that voting is exciting, we’re It’s no secret that British voters to swing from rope nets over a all just going to have to fake it. are, as a whole, a tad disenfran- pool of freezing water. Finish the And if that means imagining chised. e last General Election, course – win a seat. Simple. Nicola Sturgeon eating a witchetty in 2010, saw voter participation at Local hustings could go a bit grub in the jungle, then so be it. 16 Friday 24th April 2015 Comment
Don’t dismiss Brand – he’s with us
ussell Brand has always courted contradicted by its capitalistic and And this is what I’m wary of: the including those who don’t have the controversy. From his short- materialistic surroundings. More so claim that Russell Brand is attention- privileges he has and so have not Rlived days as an MTV presenter when these surroundings have been seeking, commercialised and hypo- been heard. a good 15 years ago and his infamous suggested to profi t from the com- critical is infl uenced strongly by those I empathise with his call for encounter with Andrew Sachs’ an- modifi cation of ableism, the gun who are most at danger of being societal change, but I think that too swering machine in 2008 to his run- industry and anti-Semitism. When destabilised by him. Not, necessarily, many people are in too fragile a posi- ins with paparazzi, he has been a I put it that way, my reaction seems that I think he has that power, be- tion for that to go well for anyone favourite of the tabloid press for dec- fair enough. But this reaction of mine cause the real danger of this claim is apart from those who are already ades and one of the celebrities that re- is, I think, one that is illustrative of not to Russell Brand. It’s to those he stable, making it no change at all. I spected middle-aged authority fi gures and, crucially, infl uenced by one of represents – because whether we like also don’t really know what practical fi rst point to when they’re looking to the major criticisms levelled at Brand: it or not, he has somehow become solutions he’s off ering, though that explain exactly what’s wrong with the that he is a hypocritical sell-out, one of the millennial generation’s might be unfair of me to say. Perhaps youth of today. claiming to preach social uprising foremost representatives. We are so he elaborates in his book. For the last few years though, as while sat fi rmly and comfortably often accused of naivety, of immatu- But I’m saying all of this from I’m sure almost everyone knows, his on the throne of $15 million that is rity, of bad behaviour and of throw- a very diff erent viewpoint to the Sriya Varadharajan chosen playground has been politics. estimated to be his net worth. ing around big words and big ideas white, straight, middle-aged and Or, as I suspect he might put it, given is, again, is fair enough. But the we don’t fully understand – and, yes, middle-class men who tend to write his disenchantment with the politics problem I have with this criticism is of materialism and hypocrisy when disapproving articles about him in Criticism of Russell of politics, justice – revolution, even. that too often it comes from people we suggest that the world could, per- newspapers from the Mail to the Revolution is, after all, the title of who are themselves in no position haps, be better than it is now. is, Guardian. I know that broadly all of Brand is often more his most recent book, which I must to throw stones: those with a fair of course, is a moot point – in a con- us share a sense of disenchantment confess I’ve not read. I saw it for the amount of money, infl uence and sumerist world, we cannot be blamed with the world as it is now, along elitist than sincere fi rst time on sale at Urban Outfi tters, power, who do not agree with what for being consumerist as well. with most of the people in our gen- and assumed rather snobbishly and Brand says and seek to sway others to So when we criticise Russell Brand, eration. I also have sympathy for the hypocritically that a book sat on a their points of view. Not to create a we have to think about where exactly classist backlash he’s faced, including, shelf next to a stapler shaped like caricature villain of the establishment these criticisms are coming from, but by no means limited to, those a bunny in a shop which has faced right-wing sort – sometimes I don’t and who is voicing them. It’s worth who ridicule his vocabulary. criticism for selling clothes that trivi- have to, but that’s beside the point – saying, here, that I personally don’t Do I think that Russell Brand is alise depression, school shootings the fact remains that the ideas Brand support him wholeheartedly. His starting a conversation that will and the Holocaust, could not really preaches often directly attack their articles, otherwise interesting and change the world? No, not even on a number of levels be, as the blurb privileges and priorities. So while enjoyable, often feature throwaway slightly. But I do know that if the rev- suggests, “the beginning of a conver- many of them deride him for being sexist remarks which fundamentally olution he seeks does come, although sation that will change the world”. naive and immature, for his conten- throw a spanner in the works for his I do not think he will or should lead My initial cynical reaction to see- tious past and for the long words he plans for revolution by alienating half it and I hope he’s gracious enough to ing a book entitled ‘Revolution’ in uses, some discredit him for hypocri- the people he is intending to support. know that too, he and I and most of a major chain shop was prompted sy from a falsely objective standpoint, I don’t believe that abstaining from the people I care about will be on the by the idea that any truly subversive failing to take into account the glass voting is a good idea. I think many same side. And hopefully, one day, ideas it presented would surely be houses they’re standing in. activists have voiced his ideas before, we’ll all see that better world. Vulture CULTURE ■ FEATURES ■ FASHION ■ THEATRE ■ REVIEWS FITZWILLIAM MUSEUM FITZWILLIAM Easter Highlights Culture
Philipon, Film
Museum and runs until 28th June 2015 e exhibition is open now at the Fitzwilliam who had invented who had invented caricature of the the was King as a pear, ve months imprisoned fi for moderne ‘heroes’ now were ence. off this for poorthe daily struggle in their survival for and pens intellectuals who, holding their the tight hands,in their protected precious the right to freedom of expression. of artisticallyis exhibition beautiful litho- graphs understand us helps our modern to society press has the on us impact that and the our notion of heroes,in shaping events and the also highlights impor- It the form them. that and of freedomtance in France of expression urging ignore us world, not to rest of the the attacks right. on this events Given recent in Paris, of media censorship in continued and the lesson this world, the all over remains countries painfully necessary.
and Jurassic World (12th June). (12th World Jurassic and
to O.D. on superhero movies and and movies superhero on O.D. to
Easter term marks the beginning beginning the marks term Easter
of BLOCKBUSTER season. Expect Expect season. BLOCKBUSTER of
Age of Ultron opening in cinemas 1st 1st cinemas in opening Ultron of Age
May, Mad Max: Fury Road (15th May) May) (15th Road Fury Max: Mad May, Hollywood reboots, like The Avengers: Avengers: The like reboots, Hollywood Music Exchange. yours now! As ever, this week musical is gives beautiful birth to prints Raf- as such Auguste which or death!’, ‘Freedom fet’s visually Delacroix’s references famous ‘Liberty Lead- People’. ing the commemo- It July the rates Revolution of 1830, during Parisianwhich citizens overthrew Bourbon the is regime. exhibition highlight of the Another its collection of satirical caricatures. and his pub- his prints, Daumier, Honoré With Charleslisher Philipon, directly challenged the corrupt and blundering of Louis- government restrictionsPhilippe I and the imposed on the time, caricatures the freedom At of expression. arts outside considered and ‘serious’ were the they seen were as regime. dangerous the by Censorship represented a great con- issue for temporary artists, who often faced incarcera- nes. tion and fi will your certainly lithographs that catch Two ose boots ‘Damn! Daumier’s are attention and ey drink!’, master! their than happier are of Detached 1st by the Forts ‘Attack Desperet’s ese caricatures Regiment of Press Gunners’. amusingly provocative,are and they illustrate povertythe of post-Napoleonic and injustice France. depicts pear-shapede latter an inventive press. French fort by the with attacked a face hosting indie legends Belle & Cambridge has the fortune of Sebastian (Thur 7th May). The there still are a few tickets left; get event is hotly anticipated, however, highlights can be found at The Corn
Vulture BRO JEFFEREY PIOQUINTO, S.J. PIOQUINTO, JEFFEREY BRO Bonaparte Lucrezia Baldo legacy Printmaking on and the of Napoleon
drinks will be provided.
Feel fit and philanthropic by
Events heading along to the charity
a UK-based charity that combats
tion is displayed to off er a certain progression; tion is displayed off to from scenes, formidable historical battle such we Milvianthe at Bridge’, ‘Battle as Gérard’s pass poignant emphasise more to scenes that between contrast the glorious the past and the as in Charlet’s decay of post-Napoleonic France, ‘Support faint!’ I am about me Chatillon… to Charlet of artists and e work as such Vernet, et appealed now unemployed soldiers the to Raff Napoleonic edu- asof the as the army to much ey create to contributed cated middle class. much uence legacy they and still infl Napoleon’s about him today. conversation of the is really fascinating what about exhibi- the Yet, in atti- change it conveystion is the how well post-Na- in the notion of hero towards the tude is time when writers is the poleonic period. assuch Balzac shifting focus were the and Hugo gure,a towards a new fi heroic of literature heroism the one. In his ‘On humble more much of modern wrote: in 1846, Baudelaire life’ e majority of artists attacked who have “ themselves with modern contented have life cial subjects, with our victories public and offi are there and our political However, heroism... private subjects heroic more much are which things as such are modernere these.than of our city e life beauty and modern heroism. is rich poetic in and marvellous subjects.” cane same transformation be perceived Prints of valorous soldiers are in lithography. quickly replaced by political and social critique. human trafficking (10am-1:30pm,
‘zumbathon’ in Cambridge to raise
funds for and awareness about the
incredible work of Hope for Justice, Sat 25th April, St Pauls, Hills Road). Registration is £10 and snacks and
Modern Heroism Modern ADC ism marks the not by creating not by creating of that periodof that biogra-another 200th anniversary200th of the Battle of Wa- Battle of the terloo. Its purposeterloo. Its phy of Napoleon,phy
is to tell the story the tell is to
Playroom).
Theatre
Cambridge Arts Theatre). Arts Cambridge fever’, then splash out on on out splash then fever’,
but rather by looking it from the but rather at
Tues 28th April - Sat 2nd May, May, 2nd Sat - April 28th Tues
The Absence of War (7.45pm, (7.45pm, War of Absence The
party political comedy drama drama comedy political party
Start off the term with some some with term the off Start
an Anarchist (7pm, Tues 28th 28th Tues (7pm, Anarchist an
some professional theatre with with theatre professional some
farce’ with Accidental Death of of Death Accidental with farce’
intrigue and ‘explosive political political ‘explosive and intrigue
If you want to feed your ‘election ‘election your feed to want you If April - Sat 2nd May 2015, Corpus Corpus 2015, May 2nd Sat - April Friday 24th April 2015 April 24th Friday point of view of emergent print culture. e point of view culture. print of emergent
Modern Hero- Artists who supported Napoleon’s regime im- Artists who supported Napoleon’s adoptedmediately method this glorify to the military exploits.Emperor’s nature, in Political these nostalgia prints demonstrate a past for e exhibi- ‘hero’. age and its of the conception Lithography, a printmaking technique invented a printmaking technique invented Lithography, in 1796 by German and actor Alois author asSenefelder method a cheap the- of publishing atrical works, same time the emerged at which aboutas by political changes brought other ex- of the turmoil and industrialisation. Curator Marquis, “lithography hibition, Amy notes that was fast a remarkably printmaking technique”. e immediacy press could the with which respond events to perfect made it the medium react socialto to and political issues. series how the illustrate of lithographs on show gure hero of the fi and perception of the concept was transformed beginning the at 19th of the century. 18 OCSEP Paid Summer Teaching Internship in China Duration: July 1st - August 15th, 2015 Location: Cities in mainland China Remuneration OCSEP Seminar Leader Recruitment 2014 A flight stipend (up to a maximum of 5000RMB) Accommodation (Western style)
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I think of some of my favourite comedies and fi nd that a pattern emerges. At certain times in my life, I’ve needed funny women. Ahead of this long term, I want to come home to the female charac- ters that remind me that I am not just a sleep-deprived husk with a laundry bag full of regrets – Tina Fey’s Liz Lemon, Tumblr’s vocalis- ing force for food and TV enthusiasts the world over; Tamsin Greig’s Fran Katzenjammer, the snarky best friend you always wanted, ever appearing out of a plume of smoke and wine; and, for the nostalgia trip, Raven Symone, wise, feisty and always up for a laugh.
Which is probably why I have been telling anyone who will listen to watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netfl ix. Starring Ellie Kemper, the sleeper star of e US Offi ce, it’s a show about women created by a woman. Well, co-created with Robert Carlock, but Fey’s marker is one which it is impossible to miss. Anyone who’s watched 30 Rock will be familiar with her perfect blend of biting satire and pure ridiculousness, as well as her ability to write unique and just plain enjoyable characters. Meanwhile, Kemper is unstoppable as Kimmy, a woman with a middle school-education, starting from scratch. With a mixture of determination and naïvety, she takes on the adult world of smartphones, spin-classes and dick pics with ‘unbreakable’ optimism.
A lecturer reminded me of something very important the your fi lm; it’s another to completely ruin it for them. e premise is an unusual one – after being imprisoned in a bunker other week: you only get to read a text for the fi rst time And what’s so interesting about this problem is that it’s a for 15 years, Kimmy and three other women adapt to a world that once – so relish it. Clearly this applies to all art forms: purely cinematic one. Of course books have blurbs, plays pony-tailed cult leader Jon Hamm had brainwashed them into the fi rst time you listen to a song, the fi rst time you see a have reviews and albums have pre-released singles, all believing no longer existed. As the episodes play out, a theme is play, the fi rst time you read a book; these are all special of which may give you a taste of the overall piece, yet in developed: it’s sometimes implicit, in the way Manhattan housewife experiences should that, song, play or book, become these art forms there seems to be no equivalent so dam- Jacqueline Voorhees pines for her globetrotting husband, and some- something you cherish for the rest of your life. Yet, while aging as the modern trailer. Once more, as this problem times painfully explicit, as when it is revealed that the cult-leader the same can be said to an extent about fi lm, our cur- is escalating, it’s getting harder to avoid. If you go to the keeps the ‘Mole Women’, the bunker-dwellers, in line by repeatedly rent ‘trailer culture’ is rapidly changing that. Ever since cinema regularly, you have walk out of the cinema and reminding them that they are ‘garbage’. YouTube was created, movie studios have been churning come back in after the trailers have fi nished if you want out trailers, teasers and behind the scene videos like sau- to avoid the danger of an anticipated fi lm being ruined. Fey is at her most infl amed and impassioned, behind all the silliness, sage meat, allowing viewers to know far more than they imploring her female audience to reject any dominating and ma- should before they see a fi lm for the fi rst time. Admitted- So how do we solve this nagging problem? e fi rst nipulative fi gure that seeks to run their life for them. Kimmy’s fi rst ly this allows you to decide how to spend your £8 when solution is to edit trailers carefully; it’s extremely hard instinct when she leaves the bunker? Buy some light-up Sketchers. you go to the cinema, but it also permits over-keen fans to create an eff ective trailer that doesn’t give too much Why? Because why the H-E-C-K not? to binge on fi lm trailers, analysing each tiny detail that away, but there are ways to do it. A good example of this they may contain until they memorise each frame and is the trailer for e Master, whose director Paul omas “Females are strong as hell”, the stand-out line from the jarring, word of dialogue, often causing them to form an opinion Anderson crafted it by using scenes that didn’t make the Youtube-remix theme song, is subtly stitched into the writing of on a fi lm they haven’t even seen yet. I am by no means fi nal cut, a frankly genius move that’s seeping into more every female character. From Xanthippe, the Emoji-addict daughter saying I am exempt from this binging culture. Being dis- trailers. Admittedly e Master is catered more towards who’d rather be bird-watching than underage drinking, to Cindy, appointed by David O. Russell’s Silver Linings Playbook, an art-house market, but a well-made trailer can still be Kimmy’s best friend in the bunker who buys a sports car and be- despite having loved and obsessed over the trailer, taught made for the mainstream. Just look at the trailer for Dark comes manager of a pet store, because she “likes dogs”. It’s all a lot of me that trailer binging is a dangerous activity. Admittedly Knight Rises; it sets up the plot, shows us the main char- fun and, as a result of the quick-witted writing and the seedy setting I massively preferred the fi lm after a second viewing, but acters and some action set pieces, yet look closely and of a not-so-fairytale New York, never becomes sickly-sweet. I still hold to this day that the fi lm, which struck a chord you can see that almost no footage from the last hour of with many viewers, would have had a greater impression the fi lm is used, allowing audiences to experience it fresh With a cast of old and new faces, including cameos from Mad Men’s on me had I not owned a laptop at the time. in the cinema. Perhaps an embargo on using footage Kiernan Shipka and Breaking Bad’s Dean Norris, it’s the kind of from the last 30 minutes of a fi lm would better cater to mainstream American comedy that stands out in a wasteland of Yet it’s not just trailer-bingers that are ruining the cin- trailers that demand more than the ambiguous. clichéd sitcoms like Big Bang eory and Two and A Half Men. ematic experience for themselves; more often than not Watch out for Titus Burgess, playing the Broadway-wannabe Titus it is trailer-editors that are ruining it for everyone else. e other option, however, is for viewers themselves to Andromedon (whose auditioned for e Lion King 20 times in 15 One of the fi rst examples of this was Leap Year, whose go cold turkey and restrict themselves from viewing any years) – with lines like “But I’ve already done something today”, he’s trailer contained 95 per cent of the plot, bar the ending, trailers. I tried to do this last year, and although it was going to be your spirit animal as exam term comes into full swing. which any person with a couple of brain cells could guess tempting to give in, it was often extremely rewarding. without trying. While this was somewhat of an anomaly Admittedly this won’t work for everyone; some people Episodes are only half an hour long, so you can binge-watch the at the time, it’s become more and more common, and like to know what they’re seeing before they hand over whole fi rst season without feeling too guilty, or have some self not just with regards to plot: comedy trailers are showing their money and that’s more than understandable. But if restraint and watch throughout the term. Watch it with your friends, all the best gags, action fi lms showing all their exciting you’re like me, and will happily see anything, I dare you watch it with your family – get out of your bunker of revision and pieces, horrors all the biggest scares and dramas all the to go to a cinema, pick a fi lm with decent reviews and remember just how fun and hopeful life on the outside can be. punchiest lines. It’s one thing enticing audiences to see watch it. Who knows what might happen. Looking for a career with a diference? We can help you achieve your potential At SWAT UK we recruit for a number of prestigious irms of Chartered Accountants based in London. We’re always looking for new people and we accept applications all year round.
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Registered Oice: Tor View House, 3 Darklake View, Estover, Plymouth, Devon, PL6 7TL Accountancy Recruitment Registered No. 3041771. England and Wales 22 Friday 24th April 2015 Vulture Features Cambridge Incorporated As an increasing number of the university’s graduates find work in the corporate sector, Varsity investigates the tensions fostered by the expensive corporate recruitment strategies which subsidise so much of student life Leo Sands
t is kind of the expected corporately subsidised student life. Are they do- thing that an intelligent nations, or commercial transactions like any oth- Oxbridge graduate will er? And if so, what exactly is expected in return? go for grad recruitment Unsurprisingly, many of these societies are un- schemes and work for one willing to talk frankly to the student press about of these companies.” At their experiences with corporate sponsors. At the least this is how one inalist Cambridge Union, responsibility for managing puts it as he guides me through the thinking be- relations with substantial sponsors falls into the “Ihind his latest application for a vacation scheme hands of the Vice President, one of the society’s in the City. he statistics relect this; last year the few annual positions. “Much of what I do is cov- university’s undergraduate courses collectively ered by conidentiality agreements,” Nick Wright produced twice as many investment bankers and (VP Lent 2014-15) emailed me when I asked to management consultants as they did teachers. If talk with him. “As a result, it would be inappro- the tally is extended to include MPhil and PhD priate for me to give media interviews in relation graduates, we managed to churn out an impres- to it.” His message was embedded with a link to sive 357 investment bankers and management consultants in 2014. he graduate orientation towards the corpo- “I HAVEN’T SUFFERED ANY SENSE he student recalled that “for the invitations to agreements are more than just altruistic dona- rate world can feel so entrenched that it might speakers, for instance, they were supposed to tions. hey usually take the form of legal con- seem like an inevitable part of Cambridge life, but OF BEING PUT UNDER PRESSURE have a Deloitte logo on it, and they hadn’t been tracts, and whether or not it goes unsaid some- it hasn’t always been like this. Forty years ago, the putting that on.” thing is expected in return. More speciically, that Careers Service was reporting more than four- TO DELIVER BOUND AND GAGGED Responding to these allegations, the Union something is exposure to you, the Cambridge times as many Cambridge graduates going into STUDENTS...TO A PARTICULAR gave Varsity the following statement: “he Union student who is unsure how to spend the 80,000 school teaching (202) as into investment banking is committed to keeping membership prices hours of their life that they will, on average, de- (43), and ‘management consultancy’ did not yet ORGANISATION BECAUSE THEY’D JUST down, and sponsorship is a vital part of this ef- vote to working. he chance to capitalise on that even exist as a category. What’s happened? fort. We are grateful for the support of all our dangerous mix of inancial ambition in an envi- Make no mistake, this shift in graduate em- WRITTEN A CHEQUE FOR ‘X’ MILLION sponsors.” ployment destinations is not the result of some QUID TO THE UNIVERSITY” Deloitte did not respond to Varsity’s request happy, anomalous accident. On a national level, for comment. the continual stretching of wage scales since the Not all sponsorship deals, however, are so 1980s has meant that those on the wealthier half Deloitte’s graduate recruitment webpage. Maybe wrought with tension. Jonathan Spittles, former ⅓ of the income spectrum need to earn more to live Deloitte’s website will be more helpful in explain- Chair of CUSU LGBT+, had “only good things to at the same standard. Forty years ago, you could ing the relationship? Instead, I am met with some say about sponsors, and bad about CUSU, at least Of CUSU LGBT+’s income comes from graduate from Cambridge, become a secondary impressively vague corporate lingo: “We support as far as inancing goes”. It seemed slightly comic corporate sponsorship school teacher and support yourself comfortably others to make progress where it matters most to me that the operating costs of a CUSU auton- in central London. Today, if you don’t have ac- whilst ofering exciting opportunities for our omous campaign, a liberation movement, were cess to an ofshore family trust fund, a comfort- people and clients to experience who we are in partly subsidised by Boston Consulting Group ronment of relative economic uncertainty is one able, inancially independent life in the nation’s diferent ways.” and, making a second appearance, the auditors that some are willing to pay handsomely for. capital immediately after graduating efectively One member of the Union’s Lent Term Full Deloitte. How much? For the chance to expose your requires you to be on a graduate recruitment Committee was more frank. “he trend to- he £1,000 yielded annually through this con- company’s brand to members and supporters of scheme, more often than not a corporate one. wards larger student organisations depending tract makes up one-third of the campaign’s total the rugby club of one larger college, the going What’s more, this year’s graduate cohort will be more on corporate sponsorship is, on the whole, budget. Jonathan has a more logical explanation rate is £2,000 a year. he club’s former captain the irst to leave university shackled with at least regrettable. for the funding arrangements, and blames CUSU. explained to me how the exclusive sponsorship £27,000 of debt. he pressure to earn big and to “Everyone knows that we’ve had debates where “he extra sponsor funding is useful as we are deal had been secured after he had promised one earn quick has never been higher than it is set to members have been turned away or sent to the not supposed to spend CUSU money on alcohol, major banking group “unrivalled exposure to in- be for those graduating in a few months, an appe- gallery because of seats reserved by them [cor- which can be a problem for our events such as dividuals both determined on the ield and highly tite that only one sector of the economy can ill. porate sponsors]… or that they are anally reten- the garden party and Rainbow Ball. achieving of it”. he historical slide into the corporate sector is tive with respect to banners or email signatures “hey required a certain number of brand greased, in Cambridge’s case, by enormous sums that don’t feature the Deloitte logo in the right names on the clothing, and they also requested of money poured into student societies by hope- proportion, in the right size, in the right place.” “THEY ARE ANALLY RETENTIVE WITH to send an email out to the rugby mailing list. It ful graduate recruiters. Excluding the Union, the What about the Union’s refusal to openly discuss RESPECT TO BANNERS OR EMAIL familiarised our team members, and our large ive student societies and campaigns I spoke to the details of its arrangement with its sponsors? supporting crowd, with the brand, and in the collected more than £9,500 in corporate sponsor- “he corporate relationship breeds a kind of SIGNATURES THAT DON’T FEATURE past our sponsors have come to our annual din- ship over the last year alone. Taking into account sycophantic hackery, some people will be in on ner and done a little spiel there.” the hundreds of student societies operating at the relationship and declare that some things are THE DELOITTE LOGO IN THE RIGHT Was £2,000 worth it? “hrough our scheme, the university, and the longevity of some of the beyond discussion… naturally this leads to hier- PROPORTION, IN THE RIGHT SIZE” there was deinitely one person who got an in- sponsorship contracts they rely on, this must be archy and non-disclosure agreements.” ternship out of it through the contacts that were just a fraction of the total. hese igures are unaf- Another student who has been heavily in- developed, and I think he has now got a job in i- fordable extravagances to almost all types of em- volved in the Union for over a year referred to “he extra money is useful for printing costs nancial services lined up for when he graduates.” ployers. And so it is into the investment banks, a speciic incident of tension between the Union associated with the magazine,” he also tells me. It is not uncommon for these sponsorship deals management consultancies and Magic Circle law and its exclusive sponsors that took place around Although BCG has been sponsoring the cam- to result in an employment contract between the irms which the most aggressive and success- half a year ago. paign for a while now, “before Deloitte, we were corporate recruiter and a senior igure within ful recruitment strategies are herding many of “Six months ago, there was a big thing where sponsored by KPMG”. the society. After graduating last year, Alex* was Cambridge’s most ambitious graduates. Deloitte threatened to pull out [of the sponsor- A familiar chronology slowly emerges; con- recruited by the irm that had exclusively spon- hey sponsor the Union, they subsidise the ship deal] unless the Union pulled their socks up tracts run into trouble as student societies are ac- sored the student society he ran in his inal year. autonomous campaigns meant to represent us, and started sticking to their agreement.” he ten- cused of not ofering the sponsor enough brand he society’s operational costs are still met en- they buy us our sports stash, they give student sion is alleged to have boiled down to how much exposure. “I believe many saw KPMG as too de- tirely by this irm’s sponsorship, and as such the journalists a platform, and they even give money brand exposure the sponsor would receive in re- manding, wanting to brand too many parts of the names of both the society and the irm have been to the Careers Service. And yet relatively little at- turn for their donation. “Previous teams hadn’t campaign.” withheld to protect the society’s sole source of tention has been given to the emerged model of been putting enough Deloitte logos in places.” It goes without saying that these funding income. “When I was running a society, I always Features Vulture Friday 24th April 2015 23 DAISY SCHOFIELD
thought that these companies were kind of suck- are management consultancies, wealth man- is withdrawn”. lirt with undergraduate students when they are ers, because no one actually paid any attention to agement irms, investment banks or corporate his behaviour is innocent, however, in com- well aware of how keen these students are to gain the sponsors; we were just taking their money.” law irms. In return for supporting the Careers parison to the predatory sexual advances rou- internships at their law irms.” In Alex’s case, the sponsor ended up signing Service with donations, the members receive tinely made towards female students at net- Is this exploitative behaviour limited to expe- him on as a consultant analyst: in all likelihood certain beneits, including two weeks’ priority working dinners. One law student described an riences at sleazy dinners? Or is there something precisely the return the sponsors were hoping booking for Careers Service events and access to unwelcome sexual advance at a black tie net- inherently exploitative in pouring so much cor- for. But what about Alex? Does he enjoy consul- various internal outlook reports and statistics on working event for barristers, the irst that she had porate money into the more general, everyday tancy? “Enjoy might be a strong term. I like the graduate directions and destinations. attended. he practicing barrister, who “I guess runnings of university life and student culture? people there…broadly speaking. he work isn’t he Careers Service then uses this money to would be in his thirties”, sat next to her, and lin- here is no question that it is done with a par- fascinating, but I didn’t expect it to be fascinat- subsidise programmes geared towards less lucra- gered around as the night went on. ticular intention – namely one of long-term eco- ing. It met my requirements, but it is not some- tive sectors of the economy. “I behave very much “As dinner drew to a close, and other guests be- nomic gain. he answer, I guess, comes down thing that I enjoyed and would see myself doing as Robin Hood would and use the surplus that gan to leave, he remained seated and took a bottle to your assessment of its implications. Is there in the long-term.” He currently has plans to leave the students want to attend for career interest of port, which he insisted we share. I wondered anything wrong in itself with the corporatisation the irm shortly, returning to education to do an where there is just no potential for making mon- if this was the normal routine at networking of the employment destinations of Cambridge MPhil. ey.” Last year, for instance, stalls at the annual events. By the time the waiters ushered us out, I graduates? he answer to that might just depend Consultancy Event, Banking & Finance Event, expected him to call a cab and leave. However, he on whether or not you’ve secured a vac scheme and Solicitors Event were priced at £1070, where- walked with me out of the college, and asked if I yet. as one at the ‘Work to Change the World’ Event *Name has been changed was only £100. Chesterman is pleased with his ef- £85,000 forts translating disproportionate demand from “THE ENTIRE EVENT SEEMED TAINTED. the corporate sector into a diverse programme of WERE ALL BARRISTERS SLEAZY Money donated to the Careers’ Service last career options, suggesting to me that “with this In Sum: year from 124, mostly corporate, employers income stream, there are a lot of students who AND OPPORTUNISTIC, ATTENDING probably owe their future job to the transfer of money under the Robin Hood banner”. THESE EVENTS TO TARGET YOUNG ● Recruiters willing to pay as Alex is what Gordon Chesterman, the Director he Careers Service plays a tricky role in bal- STUDENTS?” of the University’s Careers Service, would call “a ancing the interests of students on the one had much as £2,000 for brand refugee from the city”. How often do they come with the demands of an unregulated job market exposure on kit of one to the Service for advice? “We probably get one a on the other. In a free economy, it will always be wanted to carry the conversation at a nearby bar, fortnight coming in.” It’s usually a case along the the most lucrative sectors which can aford to in- ‘drinks on him’.” college sports club. lines of “I’ve had enough, I’ve worked six of the vest the most on recruiting the best graduates. “I felt compromised and vulnerable, so politely last seven weekends, I’ve got half a million quid In one as deregulated as ours, the pay scales of- declined and half ran back to my own college.” in the bank, I want a life, I want to become a pri- fered by the corporate sector shadow other oc- Relecting on the night later, “he man had known ● Students feel mary school teacher.” cupational groups so dramatically in 2015 that if I was a fresher, yet had deinitely hit on me. he uncomfortable going to At its helm for the past thirteen years, and be- the question is one of money there is little, if any, entire event seemed tainted. Were all barristers fore that working at one point as a graduate re- competition. Chesterman argues that through sleazy and opportunistic, attending these events corporate law networking cruiter for PricewaterhouseCoopers, Chesterman the Careers Service he is able to harness these to target young students?” dinners because of understands the job anxiety of those soon to market forces into the interests of Cambridge Stories of fully developed romantic involve- graduate. He is proud of the Careers Service’s students, using them to maintain a diverse pro- ments between a student and potential employer, frequency of unwelcome independence, unlike commercial agencies. “We gramme of career events to suit many diferent developed out of one of these networking events, sexual advances. are funded predominantly by the university to tastes and interests. are not uncommon. “A friend of mine had an ex- serve the students’ best interests. Outside of the institutionalised setting of a tended sexual relationship with someone she met “I haven’t sufered any sense of being put under university department, however, these forces be- at a law recruitment dinner,” another law student ● Deloite alleged to have pressure to deliver bound and gagged students, come trickier to control. Chesterman tells me sto- tells me. In her own experience at these events, oven-ready, shrink-wrapped to a particular or- ries of more manipulative behaviour by irms at “the old guys are quite pervy and creepy, compli- threatened to pull out of ganisation because they’d just written a cheque recruitment dinners in the “I was going to use the menting you in weird ways, making you feel a bit deal with the Union six for ‘x’ million quid to the university,” he jokes. word aggressive, but I’ll use the word assertive” uncomfortable.” A sizeable portion of the Service’s funding, career sectors like inance, fund management, “hat’s why I don’t go to the dinners.” months ago after their however, does not come from the university’s and asset management. Quite regularly students It isn’t hard to understand the pressure to re- logo wasn’t displayed purse. Its ‘Supporters Club’, founded in 1987, list- come to the Careers Service to complain that spond positively to a sexual advance made at one ed 124 sponsors on the back page of its Annual they’d been told “accept this ofer by tomorrow, of these events, particularly if you are new to the prominently enough. Report last year. his year, they collectively do- and you’ll get an extra couple of thousand” or “if networking environment. nated around £85,000 to the Service. Almost all you don’t accept this ofer by next Wednesday, it “Older men have taken these opportunities to 24 Friday 24th April 2015 Vulture Fashion
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It may be that comedy is easier for students to inevitably overlap, this advice may be danger- write. For a start, sketches are short, and they ous. Jack Kerouac, who developed his ‘spon- do not need to transition seamlessly from one taneous prose’ method while writing On the
A JOHANNES HJORTH to another to amuse. Comedy tends to often Road, was a master of writing from reality. represent a distortion or exaggeration of some After struggling for years to invent convincing aspect of real life experience. characters and events, he determined at last, For tragedy to be successful, by contrast, it “I’m going to forget all that horseshit. I’m just must be entirely credible. An audience may going to write it as it happened”. In this spirit, laugh at something beyond the realms of Kerouac completed the fi rst manuscript of On credibility, but they may only empathise with the Road in less than a month. e fi nal draft Tricky characters whose experience appear rooted was, in many ways, a simple cipher; he replaced in reality. So too, an audience may laugh at a real names with fi ctional ones, but many of his character they’ve only just met, but they tend characters’ diagnostic features remained intact. only to sympathise with characters developed But that’s not so easy to get away with in over a period of time. Of course, writing suc- Cambridge. Fiction explores human vulner- cessful comedy off ers its own challenges, but abilities, weaknesses, mistakes and confl icts, so Business the cohesion and credibility required of tragedy noses might be put out of joint if a playwright’s arguably makes it more diffi cult to write in friends (or acquaintances, or enemies) recog- the frenetic, disjointed student lifestyle that nise themselves in a scenario that isn’t entirely he line-up of plays for this term is almost shows are rejected by the ADC selection com- Cambridge appears to proscribe. complimentary. On top of that, I for one don’t entirely bereft of original student writ- mittee. is sort of quality check is justifi ed; the In any case, a solution to the void of original feel suffi ciently equipped with experiences to Ting. Of course, sketch shows, including novelty of new theatre ought not to be suffi - student theatre seems desirable, not only to write a gripping narrative based solely on real the Footlights Spring Revue, which concluded cient grounds for its inclusion ahead of shows feed an appetite for novelty, but also to create life; as it stands, my life consists of a lot of be- last term, are exceptions. Outside of this that directors, actors and audiences might get an environment in which would-be playwrights ginnings and a few middles, but not very many category, and especially outside of comedy, more out of. But great plays have been written can further hone their skills. Awards such as the ends, and I have found that, for me, invention is Cambridge theatre has seen the performance of by Cambridge students. One famous example Harry Porter Prize – set up by the Footlights in not just advisable, but necessary. relatively few original student plays. I suspect is Stephen Fry’s Latin! or Tobacco and Boys, 2003 for a one hour comic play – are vaulable. e way to overcome the obstacles of original there are two main reasons for this. e fi rst is which he wrote in his fi nal year at Cambridge, e lesser-known Other Prize, co-ordinated theatre in Cambridge and, perhaps – if I might time, and too little of it. e second is that stu- in 1979. e play premiered at the Corpus at Churchill and adjudicated by the Royal be so bold as to suggest – the heart of good dent plays must hold their ground against the Playroom and went on to win the Edinburgh Shakespeare Company, off ers a £500 prize for writing, is to write convincingly about what works of such respected names as Shakespeare, Fringe First prize in 1980. an original play of any genre. Other, similar you don’t know. Or, at the very least, to weave John Ford, Arthur Miller and David Hare, to is year, Jamie Fenton’s ‘tragic-farce’ means of encouragement would be welcome. what you do and don’t know into a compelling name a few whose plays were performed last Picasso Stole the Mona Lisa and Jamie Rycroft’s ere is, however, a third obstacle facing melange (this is, after all, what I attempt every term. Alongside Jacobean masterpieces and dark comedy Midnight Café are two of the would-be student playwrights, and that is week in supervision essays). So, if you might be modern classics, most juvenilia may seem Cambridge shows which have been awarded proximity to the people who, in many cases, interested in writing a play, set aside the time doomed to mediocrity. funding to go to the Fringe. Last term, there would form the main inspiration for characters. and embrace the unknown, and if the powers Usually, there are very few applications for were also some non-comedic off erings from Nowadays, it seems that writers are forever that be could fi nd more ways to encourage and student-written shows in the more high-profi le Cambridge students, such as Nathan Miller’s encouraged to write about what they know reward original student writing, that would be performance slots. After that, many of the spy thriller We’ll Meet Again, but, as a rule, and, by implication, who they know. But in great too. remaining applications for student-written such shows tend to be few and far between. Cambridge, where inspiration and audience Bret Cameron Modernising Classics Classic plays in a modern setting can make a real statement, argues Joe Spence
uch as I appreciate the ex-Cantabri- ability to draw its own parallels and conclu- “Urrhm. No.” But Robbie Taylor Hunt’s up- meekly kowtowing to text and author, with no gian Rupert Christiansen’s integrity sions”. In other words, we shouldn’t (for coming production of Othello (ADC Week 4 room for directorial imagination. Mas a journalist and critic, I couldn’t instance) have to bedeck the set of Richard Mainshow) is attempting to confront precisely Some of the most engaging productions are help but feel that his recent Telegraph III with swastikas for folks to twig the those which are prepared to dissect and inter- article, ‘Modernising classics is a chilling permanence of violent rogate classic texts, to challenge them even cheap trick’, demonstrated a despotism. But he seems to PUTTING A PLAY UP DOES NOT as they present them. is is not, as Rupert depressing level of snob- forget that bringing a suggests, “theatrical solipsism”, but a vital form bery and disengagement classic truly ‘up-to- SIMPLY MEAN MEEKLY KOWTOWING of engagement with our artistic heritage, as we with the current theat- date’ does not simply TO TEXT AND AUTHOR revisit and challenge our intellectual past in a rical climate. Now, to mean dreaming up manner that the most powerful theatre has a be fair, I haven’t seen heavy handed unique capacity to achieve. the production at the contempo- that issue by not only bringing the setting bang I recall, for example, seeing a superb pro- centre of his grievance, rary analo- up to 2015 but also swapping the genders of duction of Camus’ Les Justes at Corpus. e the National’s recent re- gies. ese four characters. most striking, and chilling, feature was the vival of ‘Man vs Super- days, mod- “ ere’s a signifi cant underrepresentation presence of newspaper clippings, covering the man’: with VILF ernised of women in theatre, so I hope the production Ralph Fiennes produc- exposes and tackles some gender problems,” in the leading tions will Robbie told me. A TRULY UP-TO-DATE PRODUCTION role, you can’t frequent- Shifting the subtext of classic plays to get tickets for ly ask explore contemporary issues around gender CAN MAKE THE BOLDEST OF love or mon- audiences politics can add fresh and relevant dimensions STATEMENTS, COUNTERING THE ey. Neverthe- to radically to what can sometimes be stale texts. is is less, he raises rethink their certainly the case with Othello. “ e frame- PRESENT WITH THE PAST several points interpretation works of relationships and manipulations dif- which really can’t of the text. fer because of the gender diff erences, adding be allowed to go If someone interesting new considerations and themes”, walls, and documenting the rise of interna- unchallenged. were to ask me if Robbie told me. tional terrorism in recent decades (ISIS and Mr Christiansen watching Othello Reading through his updated text, Iago’s the like). subscribes to the made me re- concocted suspicion of the (now male) At what point, I wondered as I watched, do line that updating evaluate the chal- Desdemona’s aff air with the (male) Cassio the ideas espoused by these ‘freedom fi ght- texts “patronises lenges for women crackles to life with renewed danger and ers’ tip over into a brutal imitation of the very an audience by in positions urgency. Iago’s inception of such terms as regime they report to resist? What trail has assuming it lacks of military ‘foul’ and ‘false’ into Othello’s vocabulary have been left by violent political resistance in the a modicum of authority, infi nitely more euphemistic weight than would 65 years since Camus wrote the text? historical imagina- I would be be the case in a traditional production. A truly up-to-date production can make the tion or the forced into a Naysayers, Christiansen included, will argue boldest of statements, countering the present slightly baf- that we should respect the author’s wishes and with the past, developing historical ideas and fl ed “use his thought process as a starting point”. demonstrating that these plays, which can But we are in an age of theatre where be reinterpreted and re-examined for every putting a play up does not simply mean generation, truly are ‘classics’.
JOHANNES HJORTH 28 Friday 24th April 2015 Vulture Reviews
Interview: Wolf Alice
Overlooked: Hammersmith’s WOLF ALICE/IAN CHEEK PRESS Hidden History India Rose Matharu-Daley Hammersmith Bridge marks a turning point in the Boat Race and in the character of the ames. On the north bank, modern construc- tions in steel and glass pass to red- brick Victorian mansion blocks and Georgian terraces, whose gardens lead down to private moorings and sleeping houseboats. is stretch, with its weeping wil- “I admire the 1975 in how hard they music, Ellie comments that “You can lows and nesting egrets, is almost work, it’s clear how much it means come away with new fans, so it’s im- blissfully rural, a slice of green to them to have got this far and done portant to give it all you’ve got every tranquillity in the metropolitan this well, and if we follow a similar time.” Yet they are still a challenge, pandemonium of London. path to them I will be more than even for Wolf Alice who are now From the water, it does not happy.” seasoned performers. seem as if much has changed Ellie Rowsell, lead vocalist for Wolf “Festivals are harder because since William Morris moved into Alice, clearly relishes the opportuni- they’re not tailored specifi cally for Kelmscott House on the Upper ties that being signed with Dirty Hit, you, so you’ve got to work around Mall, which runs along the river, in the label that has brought us the likes them.” 1879. ere the English designer, of e 1975, brings. Perhaps it is unsurprising, then, writer, activist and committed Like most young artists, being to fi nd that for Ellie it is the headline socialist ran the Kelmscott Press, treated seriously and being presented tour which is the most special of the which published limited-edition with a challenge is what caught the two: “I get more out of playing to print books, almost 19th century four-piece’s attention: “ ey didn’t people at headline shows because analogies of medieval illuminated beat around the bush in what they they have come specifi cally for manuscripts. Its masterpiece was could, and wanted, to do for us, which you, which is a real honour.” is is a luxurious and gigantic woodcut was exciting and refreshing.” something which I’m sure fans who edition of Chaucer, published in attended their gig at the Junction on 1896, which Morris called his “lit- 10th April would be thrilled to hear. tle typographical adventure”. It is in no doubt that attendees were Kelmscott Press inspired many in for the full, no holds barred, show. other private presses, includ- For those who are new to Wolf ing the Doves Press at No. 1 Alice, you may have heard their Hammersmith Terrace, named af- WOLF ALICE/IAN CHEEK PRESS name mentioned in connection with ter e Dove, a nearby pub built in the BBC Sound of 2015 poll, where the early 18th century. Legend has they were featured on the longlist. it that a bevy of famous patrons e poll has a stellar reputation for made merry in various incarna- correctly predicting the artists who tions of the public house, dating as break through to the mainstream in far back as the 17th century. ere, the year ahead; one look at previous Charles II wooed Nell Gwyn, a For Wolf Alice (comprised of Ellie winners Adele, Ellie Goulding and prodigious thespian and one of the Rowsell, Joel Amey, Joff Oddie and Sam Smith says it all. For Ellie and few royal mistresses in English his- eo Ellis) the last few years have the rest of Wolf Alice, however, these tory to win popular aff ection. been a whirlwind of activity. After aren’t people who they would ever e Dove was also the setting for releasing their fi rst material through consider comparing themselves to. In Scottish writer James omson’s the online sharing site Soundcloud in composition of the celebrated 2012, they went on to tour with Peace poem Rule, Britannia! circa 1740. and by the end of 2013 they were e words were set to music by named the ‘most blogged about band’ omas Arne, a composer whose by BBC 6 Music. version of God Save the King be- 2014 saw them sign with label While We’re Young came the British national anthem, Dirty Hit and release their second WOLF ALICE/IAN CHEEK PRESS as “a six-and-a-half hour fi lm that’s for a masque at Cliveden about EP Creature Songs, before be- seven hours too long.” His childless Alfred the Great for the Prince of ing crowned ‘Best Breakthrough marriage with Cornelia (Naomi Watts) Wales. Rule, Britannia! achieved Artist’ at the UK Festival Awards in is on the rocks. When Jamie (Adam instant popularity after its fi rst December. Driver) speaks to Josh after attend- public performance in 1745. One would think that all of this “We said our vows in an empty water ing one of his classes, they strike up e poem may have been activity would mean Wolf Alice fact, they don’t consider comparing tower in Harlem.” a friendship resulting in the older an attempt to foster an inclu- were in need of a break, but if their themselves to any other people on the While We’re Young is a fi lm in couple ignoring friends their own age sive British identity to unite the current itinerary is anything to go list at all. which middle-aged meets hipster. in order to hang out with the twenty- English, Scottish, Welsh and Irish. Yet, this doesn’t take away from be- A coming-of-age story for those somethings. Although Wales and England had ing featured on the list: “It’s exciting post-forty, writer-director Noah Jamie and his wife Darby (Amanda been unifi ed since 1536, the Act to be on the BBC Sound Of list, and it Baumbach’s latest work (following Seyfried) are impossible to dislike – of Union only joined the English can be great exposure, both of which on from Frances Ha, Greenberg, and Jamie, an aspiring fi lm maker, has a and Scottish parliaments in 1707. we are grateful for,” Ellie comments. e Squid and the Whale) features wall loaded with vinyls, and Darby e British Empire was beginning Most important of all, however, is a documentarian, his wife and their makes artisan ice cream. rough to dominate the world in the 18th WOLF ALICE/IAN CHEEK PRESS to make sure that one doesn’t let the chance meeting with a young married watching their friendship develop, century and by the 19th century pressure of this exposure get too couple that inspires them to cling on we are able to see the Netfl ix-using, the sun never set on its territo- much. to their youth. iPhone-googling, laptop-writing Josh ries. e words of Rule, Britannia! “Paying too much attention to what Unsurprisingly full of snappy and Cornelia try to navigate a hipster changed accordingly. omson’s can come out of such things can put and quirky dialogue (Baumbach world in which people watch VHS original refrain began: “Rule, by this certainly isn’t the case. ey pressure on you, or give you expecta- has frequently co-written with Wes tapes, ride fi xie bikes and type on Britannia! rule the waves.” In the supported Alt-J at their London O2 tions you don’t need to worry about Anderson), this fi lm is reminiscent of typewriters. is clash of generations Victorian period, however, patriots show in January – an experience as an artist.” Annie Hall and Manhattan, plunging is evident in the soundtrack of the sang: “Britannia rules the waves.” which Ellie considers as “important”, ere will certainly be a huge artistic and intellectual characters into fi lm; we hear David Bowie, contempo- Today we know Rule, Britannia! because playing with people who are number of people keeping an eye on the absurdity of city life, with street rary remixes by edgy DJs and Antonio from the BBC’s Last Night of the diff erent to you allows you to “reach their progress this year to see if they beach parties galore. Vivaldi, an eclectic taste similar to Proms, which always includes an out to diff erent kinds of people” – live up to expectations. Irrespective Josh’s (Ben Stiller) life is in stagna- Jamie’s vinyl collection, complemented arrangement of the song. Also before embarking on their own UK of this, keeping things simple and tion as he works on his magnum opus, by Josh. associated with the British Army and Americas tour. focused on that which matters, the a diffi cult to follow documentary e bond between two married and the Royal Navy, it still fosters It is in the same vein as support music itself, is certainly top of Wolf crafted from hundreds of hours of couples is strengthened as Josh and feelings of national pride amongst slots that Wolf Alice attack festival Alice’s priority list, something which I interviews, described by his father- Cornelia realise that all their friends modern Britons. performances. Presented with a vast commend them for wholeheartedly. in-law and legendary documentarian their own age already have children. audience who are ready to hear new Asia Lambert Reviews Vulture Friday 24th April 2015 29
Wild Tales It’s turned out to be a lucky thing that plane, and plummeting to their deaths the magical Almodóvar name has been with the man himself at the wheel. plastered all over the press for the is is, of course, massively uncom- SCOTT RUDIN PRODUCTIONS lesser-known Damiàn Szifron’s latest fortable to watch in the wake of the all fi lm. Its touch has turned Wild Tales too recent Germanwings tragedy, yet into mainstream gold, placing it in it still manages to provoke simultane- the position it rightfully deserves: this ous unrestrained laughter and horror compilation of frantic, violent and hi- as the plane hurtles straight towards larious short movies (strung together a sunny suburban garden where his masterfully by their common theme) is parents recline in deckchairs. constructed with the subversive talent e atmosphere is one of losing and rebellious edge of the out-of-the- control, of surrendering to animalistic way, ‘art-house’ movie, yet plays out urges to avenge; to wreak violence and something like a raucously entertain- havoc; to smash and destroy in the ing Spanish soap opera. face of an engulfi ng system of control- Szifron has previously written ling, unjust government and repressed primarily for television, and, having urges. “ e desire to react against labelled Argentina a nation where “TV injustice,” says Szifron, “is something is more like soap opera” while fi lm we experience very often because we remains on a diff erent level, it is easy are made to be free. We are animals to recognise the melodrama and gar- in the same way that a dog or a bear ishness of the former in Szifron’s take is an animal.” He sees beauty in the on the latter. Not only do the separate wild, away from the towering concrete stories follow on from each other like structures amongst which citizens’ various episodes, but the events revel cars are mercilessly towed again and in the abundance of action – sub- again from the streets, injustices un- tlety is not the aim, and nor should acknowledged and money wielded as it be. Scenes unfold in a crescendo of a weapon to aid this circular system. tension, violence and hilarity, within e characters allow their animalistic lavish weddings and roadside diners – impulsions to overfl ow, and it is an archetypal soap scenarios. immensely thrilling and satisfying Nevertheless, the ideas behind the thing to watch. stories are serious, most of which e concept of ‘carnival’ – from the converge in their angry reaction Ancient Greek Dionysia, to Roman to Argentina’s (and the rest of the Saturnalia and the Medieval European world’s) corruption and stifl ing capi- Feast of Fools – has long been rooted talism; yet I found myself grinning in the notion of irreverence towards uncontrollably throughout, delighted societal systems of expected behav- at the descent of each situation into iour; a time for game-playing and role- carnivalesque chaos and destruction. reversing; irrepressible laughter and e opening scene sets up the tone wildness; the grotesque and theatrical. of the fi lm: passengers on a plane It has been theorised that such rituals begin to discover shared links with are necessary in order to release Gabriel Pasternak, a failing and man’s craving for the animalistic. talentless composer who has Perhaps Szifron’s sequence consequently been humiliated of wild tales signals a growing throughout his life. e un- contemporary need for such canny absurdity escalates a release in the modern world. until the realisation Whatever lies behind this curi- dawns upon them that ous compendium of fables, they everyone who has ever are fi endishly entertaining and wronged Pasternak, captivating. in any way, is on the Chloe Carroll Afternoon Tea in Cambridge
In the fast-paced and hectic day of muffi n. An extensive range of teas and your average Cambridge student, coff ees are available, with the coff ee afternoon tea is probably the last thing supplied by an East London roastery on your mind. I, however, have a very called Climpson & Sons. sweet tooth, so sugary snacks and Shared between two, the afternoon cakes are a round-the-clock com- tea set was just the right amount of modity in my life, particularly in the food; the portions are so large that In a particularly comical scene, For the benefi t of cinema, hopefully the puppet strings of everyone afternoon when you’re feeling lazy and one set each would have been very Cornelia runs out of a mother-and- Stiller will continue to collaborate he meets, impressively hiding his tired and all you want to do is take a overfi lling! With a relaxed and buzz- baby dance class into one full of with Baumbach. careerism, Darby’s role is limited to nap. Cambridge has a great selection ing atmosphere, Fitzbillies is great for hip-hop dancers 20 years younger e writing for the most part is his quirky hip-hop dancing wife. of places to grab some afternoon tea catching up with friends or is even a than her, able to exist but unable snappy and witty, and this dialogue- More focus on how their mar- and cakes to get a quick sugar hit with nice spot to do some work if you feel to fi t in inside the two worlds she driven fi lm feels like it could have riage worked would have been ap- friends during the working day. like a change of scene. One of the inhabits. been produced in the 1970s. At a preciated. Although Cornelia shines cafe’s main drawbacks is that because While We’re Young is a blessing visit to the doctor Josh learns that in the couple of scenes in which she Fitzbillies it’s so popular, the service tends to be for Stiller, allowing him to shine in he is ageing faster than he had is the focus, we cannot escape that Located right next to Pembroke, quite slow. a more serious role than those in anticipated. “Arthritis arthritis?” her primary character attribute is Fitzbillies is a classic, a Cambridge which audiences are more accus- he asks. “I usually just say it once,” that she is the wife of her husband institution. It’s one of those places Harriet’s Cafe Tearooms tomed to seeing him. He confi - quips back the doctor. Adam and the daughter of her father, who you’ve probably walked past many If you’re a bit bored of the ever-pop- dently plays an obnoxious man who Driver impresses throughout the mentored Josh in his youth. times, felt tempted by its display of ular Bill’s, then Harriet’s is just down is struggling to understand where fi lm, though he is particularly While We’re Young is an interest- cakes and tarts but never actually the street. he went wrong in a changing world superb near the end, when his lines ing take on what people do to stay eaten at – it took me until halfway e menu is geared towards a tra- in which he was supposed to be the allow him to fully explore his young and the mistaken desire to through my second year to actually try ditional-style afternoon tea, although next big thing. character, who previously seemed accept that change is always a good it out. e cafe has an extensive range my friends and I decided to test its As his young friend/protégé’s one-dimensional. thing. Hipsters are satirised, the of sweet and savoury treats, including full range, ordering an odd mix of new catfi sh-style fi lm begins As good as most of the fi lm was, dialogue is quick and Ben Stiller is the famous sticky Chelsea buns, which breakfast (Eggs Benedict), ice-cream to gather more steam than the the fi nal act is a bit of a let-down. sick in a bucket while discovering have been sold there since 1921. We and scones. documentary he’s been working e ending (no spoilers!) is clichéd his hopes and dreams. What more decided to share the classic afternoon e cafe itself was quite empty, so if on for close to a decade, Stiller and predictable in an attempt to be could you want? e fi lm dared to tea, which also comes with the option you’re looking for a more lively vibe, impressively portrays a man taken heart-warming, though the charac- open with a quotation from a 19th of champagne for an extra six pounds. Fitzbillies might be the place for you. over by jealousy and paranoia, and ter development of Josh is some- century Norwegian playwright, but e food arrived, However, the staff at Harriet’s are the beautifully fi lmed confronta- thing to marvel at as this conceited don’t let this fool you: this is one impeccably very friendly and the service tion scene that follows is painfully and selfi sh man shows that he is enjoyable movie. Baumbach’s latest presented, on is excellent. ere’s also the gripping. both the most principled and naïve work is punchy and emotive, and a tiered stand added bonus of a small take- Like Jim Carrey in Eternal of those in the fi lm. although it seems like a medio- that boasted away counter with an assort- Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Unfortunately, the female charac- cre Woody Allen fi lm at times, a diff erent types ment of macaroons, meringues Steve Carell in Foxcatcher, Stiller ters remain under-developed com- mediocre Woody Allen fi lm is still of savoury sand- and tarts – just in case you has been able to successfully make pared with their male counterparts. pretty damn good. wiches, fruit need some more sugary snacks the leap from comedy to drama. While Jamie is shown to be pulling Mike Armstrong scones, an éclair, for later. a fruit tart and a Anjali Shourie Can you do be er? Interested in
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an important cog in a semi-oiled (but of rollicking forwards slipped through Why youth rugby quite rusty) machine. I played mostly my arms. needs to change as a full-back, and it was my job, as one is is a problem faced by youth coach delicately put it, to “tackle any- rugby nationwide. Teenagers develop thing that moved”. I was ruthless. at diff erent rates, meaning it is per- George Ramsay WIKIMEDIA COMMONS But then things started to change. fectly likely for a six foot three, hairy- Sport Correspondent e opposition got bigger, the tackles legged beanpole with several hours of more frightening, and my pre-game weightlifting already under his belt to “Take his legs! Take his legs!” routine became a ritual of physically be pitted against a skinny little scrum- at three-word refrain will forever assessing the opposition, calculating half with two terrifying years to endure be etched onto my memory. Coaches with dread just how big the big guys before he even touches puberty. and parents alike would bark it out were. It also transpired that most of the In January 2011, 14-year-old from the touchline as large, over-de- larger players were also the fastest, and Benjamin Robinson collapsed and veloped teenagers rumbled through this seemed particularly unfair. ey died following two heavy impacts in a line after line of pubescent defence, scored tries at will, swotting away the rugby game, an event that could have increasingly desperate as the giants attempted tackles of those that dared been readily avoided had the neces- trundled on until fi nally the tackle go near them. sary measures been taken. Similar is- came, some thirty yards later. Deep down I wanted more from sues occur at senior level, and the new Part of the reason why my rugby- the game. Players on the TV with a concussion laws introduced, which playing days ended prematurely was number 15 on their back were playing stipulate a player incurring a head in- because I listened to those touchline a diff erent sport to me. Jason Robinson jury is rigorously examined before be- orders. As the six-foot-something seared through holes in the opposition ing allowed to continue playing, seek boy-mountain pounded towards me, defence, Geordan Murphy would leap to remedy this. often with a couple of my own team- salmon-like into the air to claim a swirl- e answers need to be more hands- mates clinging to his considerable ing high ball and Percy Montgomery on. Players could be segregated into bulk, I would tentatively dip my head landed monster penalties from all an- size and weight categories, and touch Legs taken: Rugby needs to tackle its injury problem down-wards, readying myself for the gles of the fi eld. My job as doormat for rugby should be played and promoted several other very large fi sh. – will begin to reduce, and hopefully executioner’s axe. e trick was to the biggest players on the pitch some- more widely to emphasise handling Rugby is a physical game. e em- the changes made from a young age not meet the grunting monster with how didn’t quite compare. and dexterity rather than sizeable phasis must shift from the importance will percolate through to senior level. any force, but to simply let him topple I dreamed of carving through an im- collisions. At the age of 12, I found of size – encouraging young players to Above all, it is the attitudes of coaches over you. Most of the time it worked possible gap in the opposition defence, myself thrown onto a full-sized pitch pound out heavy weights in the gym and players that need reshaping rather quite eff ectively, and often the shouts chipping over the heads of dazed de- with a vast ocean of space to negoti- – to place greater onus on skill, speed than the rules of the game. from the sideline would stop abruptly, fenders before dummying round the ate: the bigger guys had more time to and technique. is is partly due to My hope is that future generations instead replaced by those of “Oooh, last man and swallow diving under the get ahead of steam and impacts were the size and physicality of professional of young players dipping their heads good tackle!” posts. But this was never going to hap- greater. But by playing on a half- or players who serve as role models, and towards the pumping thighs of an At fi rst I loved it. I enjoyed get- pen. e more vividly I realised this, three-quarter sized arena, the game partly due to the rates at which young oncoming player will be felling a pair ting stuck into the unglamorous na- the more disillusioned I became. I be- can be more evenly contested. Youth people develop. As a sport, it will of legs similar to their own. Equally ture of the game and was pleased to gan to shy away from tackles, cowering rugby often felt like being a small fi sh become more inclusive and the in- matched opponents, after all, make have a recognised role in the team, from contact as an increasing number in a very large pond, living in fear of jury rate – currently worryingly high the best sporting contests. It is high time we boycotted FIFA
state the World Cup was “one of the Radical action is needed most ludicrous decisions in the his- to change football’s tory of sport”, according to former FA chairman David Bernstein. He is surely corrupt governing body correct. WIKIMEDIA COMMONS Sepp Blatter has ruled FIFA since Zack Case 1998. He is currently standing for his fi fth term, despite promising not to Sport Correspondent run for presidential re-election and having run uncontested in 2011. Corrupt, illegitimate, authoritarian. Indeed, he has not participated in a I am, in this instance, not describing single election without allegations of the Soviet Union, Zimbabwe or any bribery and corruption being thrown other systematically corrupt political his way. Of course he does have at least regime. I am talking about FIFA. some ethical principles: he did recent- e 2018 World Cup is going to be ly insist that Qatar should do more for held in Russia, a country with an au- its workers. You don’t say, Sepp! But tocratic, expansionist government, why on earth did you award them the still in touch with its Soviet past and World Cup in the fi rst place? Blatter is with an entrenched racism problem. clearly not fi t for the job, something is would not be the fi rst contro- that is underlined by the sexist com- versial sporting event to be held in ments he made in 2004 about female Russia, where a vague law passed prior footballers, suggesting they “wear to the 2014 Winter Olympics at Sochi tighter shorts and low cut shirts… to banned the distribution of material create a more female aesthetic”. in favour of “non-traditional sexual is piece isn’t really intended to be relationships” among minors, which a report into corruption in FIFA – I has been quite rightly condemned as have left that to the ‘experts’. In all its homophobic. moral integrity, FIFA launched an in- The final whistle needs to be blown on Sepp Blatter’s corrupt reign FIFA has also awarded the 2022 ternal investigation into corruption, World Cup to Qatar, where construc- which cleared Russia and Qatar of any way to expunge FIFA of corruption there is universal assent – or at least It would pain me to miss a World tion workers have been slavishly work- wrongdoing. For now, that is. is to boycott it. I do not propose an the assent of the great footballing na- Cup. But ethics and democracy do ing (and dying at a rate of one every Surprise surprise, the published anarcho-syndicalist attempt to depose tions. What is a World Cup without matter. FIFA does not abide by those two days in 2014) to prepare for a win- version has been criticised for being football’s governing body. Football Brazil, Spain and Germany (and dare fundamental principles. I want to see ter World Cup which would disrupt incomprehensive by the very lawyer, does need an umbrella organisation, I add England)? Qataris themselves a World Cup in the country with the the entire football calendar. In fact, Michael Garcia, who conducted the mainly to act as legislators of the game would certainly rather watch another bid that has the highest value – not 1.4 million migrant workers live in un- initial 430 page inquiry, stating that and to coordinate worldwide tourna- Argentina vs Germany fi nal than see- in terms of the cash involved in back- hygienic and overcrowded conditions, “[the 42 page published summary] ments. But direct action is necessary ing Qatar face North Korea (or any room deals. I want to see an organisa- and little progress has been made to contains numerous materially incom- for its reform. I propose a boycott of nation unlikely to abide by this inter- tion that is accountable and acts in the reform the kafala system of exploita- plete and erroneous representations”. Russia 2018, followed by a recasting of national boycott). best interests of the sport – not domi- tion whereby workers are essentially In any case, crucial pieces of evidence votes for the 2022 World Cup. Only se- What is FIFA if there is a unanimous nated by rich, power-hungry men act- ‘owned’ by their employers. about the alleged bribery involved in rious and radical action can uphold the refusal to turn up to its tournaments? ing in their own vested interests. To e International Trade Union the Russian and Qatari World Cup moral credibility of FIFA. A boycott is And, who knows, given that every improve the game, we need to improve Confederation’s General Secretary, bids have mysteriously disappeared, or the only way to keep the ‘beautiful’ in country has its own football associa- its main player. Sharan Burrow, has dubbed Qatar a have been destroyed. the beautiful game. tion, surely there can be multilateral Bernstein was right: FIFA is “beyond “21st century slave state’”. Giving this I do, however, want to suggest a so- is is, of course, extremely ide- agreements to provide football com- ridicule”. It is indeed a joke. But this tiny, footballingly anonymous Gulf lution to the FIFA problem. e only alistic, and can only be successful if pensation for Russia 2018? joke is not funny. 32 Friday 24th April 2015 Boycott FIFA? Zack Case suggests radical action to force change
Sport Why prioritise rowing when we lose? Neglecting ‘minor’ sports damages Cambridge’s GETTY IMAGES sporting ethos Sarah Coll ns Sport Correspondent
“We can’t recruit like Oxford do,” be- moans Cambridge men’ s rowing coach Steve Trapmore MBE after this year’s disappointing boat race performance. “We’re academically the best univer- sity in the world, it’s often hard to get the right balance between academics and sporting prowess.” Cambridge has been trotting out this line for decades whenever faced with the question – why at one of the richest institutions in the world is sport so underfunded? Cambridge’s suggestion that com- mitment to sport must be sacrifi ced in the name of academia is contrary to all of the evidence, not only with regard to the eff ect of sport on the capacity of the brain to study, but also on the
CAMBRIDGE’S PREJUDICES ARE ARCHAIC, AND SO IS ITS FUNDING SYSTEM
fact that it is the other Russell Group intellectual heavyweights that domi- nate the University League tables in the UK, proving that brains and brawn do in fact go hand-in-hand. is has, of course, been said be- fore, when the dashing sportsmen and women of Cambridge had their pho- tos taken with placards and demanded a review of funding for Cambridge No wins for Cambridge: Oxford went home victorious after a historic day on the Tideway for the 161st Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race Sport. e campaign attracted a great deal of attention and, in the end, the of all other sports creates an anger overall, so maybe it’s time to pump e truth is that the university is individual athletes for sports and university relented, held a review and among national-level athletes in other some money into the sports that are simply not willing to spend money on transport costs, it would make more established a Sports committee that disciplines that go unsupported, when winning, rather than continue with the sport, and even less willing to re-ar- sense to ask colleges to contribute to allowed for funding appeals. New college rowing is given far greater treadmill of rowing and rugby. range their timetables to allow athletes a university-wide funding programme, committee, problem solved? e Blues publicity than university-level teams Cambridge’s sporting problem is its which would deploy college contribu- runners, rowers, handball and bad- in more minor sports. While the funding. Boat clubs are so wealthy be- tions more fairly. With Trinity spend- minton players can swish around in treasurer of one college rowing club cause colleges support their teams, and ing approximately £500 on one hockey their Cambridge tracksuits with smiles told me that they play with a budget are also supported by sponsorship and goalkeeper’s kit earlier this year (almost on their faces at last? Not quite. of around £36,000 a year, the univer- funding investment. None of the col- half of the University Handball Club’s We’ve got a new sports centre and a sity-level Handball Club, whose men lege boat clubs’ funds came from the budget), it is clear that the richest col- new committee, but Cambridge is still have just won the University Handball university, who are unwilling to part THE UNIVERSITY IS SIMPLY leges could help to build a more thriv- miles behind its counterparts in sports Championship, get only £1,270. with their cash to see sport develop. NOT WILLING TO SPEND ing university sports scene. Making performance for two reasons: its prej- e disproportionate wealth of col- “We are good at rowing” should not Wednesday afternoons a time for the udices are archaic, and so is its funding lege rowing teams certainly pushes up be an excuse for the university when- MONEY ON SPORT pitch, instead of the lecture theatre, system. While Cambridge clings to its the standards of collegiate rowing, but ever it is questioned about the lack would boost morale and maybe even prestige in the ‘old-money’ sports of means that athletes that could excel of sports performance. e culture of academic performance, as healthier rugby and rowing, this narrow-mind- in other sports are left high and dry, high-level collegiate rowing is created Wednesday afternoons off . However, and happier students are shown to do ed focus on the oldest sports dam- without suffi cient funding for trans- not from university-wide funding, but Cambridge needs to spend a little better in exams. ages the ethos of performance sport at port and kit to compete at the top lev- from college pride, and actually ath- more money to see better results. Cambridge is supposed to be the Cambridge, and means that top-level el. From the richest university in the letes in other sports are getting better Sports participation in Cambridge is more progressive, liberal wing of the athletes in other disciplines receive country, this is a disgrace. results. erefore if Cambridge is the massive, with so many contributing to Oxbridge duo. It’s time we ditched poor quality resources, some of them e recent stats released by the Tab meritocracy it claims to be, the powers college sport, but a lack of university- the single-minded focus on rugby and regressing rather than progressing reveal that Cambridge dominates over that be need to put their money where wide level funding means that per- rowing because as this year’s results during their time at Cambridge. Oxford in breadth of sporting prow- their mouth is and fund the sports that formance sport will not take off . have proven, we aren’t actually that Revering rowing to the detriment ess, as we won more Varsity matches are holding our Varsity pride together. When colleges are reimbursing good at them anyway.