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Mothers, Daughters and Othermothers

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Mothers, Daughters and Othermothers Running head: MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS AND OTHERMOTHERS Mothers, Daughters and Othermothers: The Significance of Storytelling in Shaping my Identity as an African Woman By Abimbola S. Shoboiki A Thesis Submitted to Mount Saint Vincent University, Halifax, Nova Scotia In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for The Degree of Master of Arts in Women and Gender Studies April 2019, Halifax Nova Scotia Copyright 2019 Abimbola S. Shoboiki MOTHERS, DAUGHTER AND OTHERMOTHERS i Table of Contents Dedication.......................................................................................................................... iv Acknowledgement ............................................................................................................... v Abstract ............................................................................................................................. vii CHAPTER I ....................................................................................................................... 1 Sunlight in dark waters ...................................................................................................... 1 CHAPTER II ...................................................................................................................... 9 Statement of Purpose ......................................................................................................... 9 Alone ........................................................................................................................................... 9 CHAPTER III .................................................................................................................. 15 The Meaning of Motherhood in Black Culture and Mother-Daughter Relationships ...... 15 The Power of Names............................................................................................................................ 16 Theoretical Framework ................................................................................................... 17 Competing Perspectives on Motherhood ......................................................................... 17 Eurocentricity .......................................................................................................................... 17 The Dominant Perspective: Eurocentric Views on White Motherhood ............................. 18 Eurocentric Views on Black Motherhood ............................................................................. 20 The Road Home ................................................................................................................................... 22 CHAPTER IV ................................................................................................................... 25 Afrocentricity .................................................................................................................... 25 MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS AND OTHERMOTHERS ii African Perspectives on Motherhood .................................................................................... 27 Enduring Themes of an Afrocentric Ideology of Motherhood ...................................... 29 Bloodmothers, Othermothers, and Women-Centered Networks ........................................ 30 Dear Frances ........................................................................................................................................ 32 Providing as Part of Mothering .............................................................................................. 33 Iya ni Wura .......................................................................................................................................... 35 Community Othermothers and Social Activism ................................................................... 36 Innocence Lost ..................................................................................................................................... 38 Motherhood as a Symbol of Power ........................................................................................ 40 Savage Queen ...................................................................................................................................... 41 Implications for African Mother-Daughter Relationships ............................................ 43 African Mothers as Role Models ............................................................................................ 43 Walking the Distance ........................................................................................................................... 44 The Right Kind of Woman .................................................................................................................. 48 The Skin I am in, Kinks I Wear ........................................................................................................... 50 Social Learning Theory and Black Mothering Behaviour............................................. 51 Time ..................................................................................................................................................... 52 I Know ................................................................................................................................................. 53 Stepmother ........................................................................................................................................... 54 The Bridge ........................................................................................................................................... 56 CHAPTER V .................................................................................................................... 60 Storytelling as Research Methodology ............................................................................ 60 Ethical Considerations ............................................................................................................ 63 MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS AND OTHERMOTHERS iii Storytelling and Knowledge Production ................................................................................ 66 The Dangers of a Single Story ................................................................................................ 69 Counter-Storytelling ................................................................................................................ 72 African Stories and Identity ................................................................................................... 75 The Significance of Storytelling to African People ............................................................... 78 CHAPTER VI ................................................................................................................... 85 I Come from a Tribe of Women....................................................................................... 85 Breaking the Cycle of Trauma ........................................................................................ 91 Forgiveness .......................................................................................................................................... 92 Mama ................................................................................................................................................... 98 Appendix ........................................................................................................................... 99 Glossary of Words ................................................................................................................... 99 References ...................................................................................................................... 101 MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS AND OTHERMOTHERS iv Dedication To Onyebuchi my light. To my family, my strength To my sisters whose rebellious souls have liberated me To all African women who believe that our stories are too valuable to be silenced MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS AND OTHERMOTHERS v Acknowledgement I give glory and tribute to God who has given me the strength and courage to persist through to the completion of this thesis despite the many difficulties I confronted in the process. I want to thank all the African women who helped make Mothers, Daughters and Othermothers a reality. I did not work alone. I held firmly to the hands of living theorists who embody bravery, resistance, hope and love. I am eternally grateful to the epistemic community of African mothers and community othermothers who “courageously exposed their wounds” (as cited in Onoura, 2015, p. iii) and shared the memories of their lived experiences so that I could create stories that theorize about the value of African women’s pedagogies (Onoura, 2015). To my supervisor Dr. Ardra Cole, thank you for being an othermother, for believing in me, for giving me a chance to share my stories and for providing love and support when the agony became too intense, and my hope renewed. Thank you for your knowledge, patience, creative acumens and for continually reminding me to trust the process. I would also like to thank Dr. Susie Brigham for her careful reading of my thesis, and her overwhelmingly positive feedback. Thank you for pushing me on towards the finish line. I would also like to thank Randi Warne, Catherine Martin, Randy Headley, Ayoka Junaid, Dr. DeNel Sedo Rehberg, and Dr. Val Marie Johnson for your critical insight and support when I started as a naive master’s student at Mount Saint Vincent University. You
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