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Ilu Ustrat Io Nbyrobertmaes Ta S • Rmm Il Lu Strat Io N JESUS SHAPED HOLES IN OUR HEARTS SINCE 1992 ILUUSTRATION BY ROBERT MAESTAS • RMMILLUSTRATION.PROSITE.COM VOLUME 23 | ISSUE 43 | OCTOBER 23-29, 2014 | FREE [2] OCTOBER 23-29 , 2014 WEEKLY ALIBI WEEKLY ALIBI OCTOBER 23-29 , 2014 [3] [4] OCTOBER 23-29 , 2014 WEEKLY ALIBI alibi VOLUME 23 | ISSUE 43 | OCTOBER 23-29 , 2014 EDITORIAL MANAGING EDITOR/MUSIC EDITOR: Samantha Anne Carrillo (ext. 243) [email protected] FILM EDITOR: Devin D. O’Leary (ext. 230) [email protected] FOOD EDITOR/FEATURES EDITOR : Ty Bannerman (ext. 260) [email protected] ARTS & LIT EDITOR/ WEB EDITOR : Lisa Barrow (ext. 267) [email protected] CALENDARS EDITOR/COPY EDITOR: Mark Lopez (ext. 239) [email protected] CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Cecil Adams, Steven Robert Allen, Captain America, Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny, Shawna Brown, Suzanne Buck, Eric Castillo, David Correia, Erik Gamlem, Gail Guengerich, Nora Hickey, Zachary Kluckman, Kristi D. Lawrence, Ari LeVaux, Mark Lopez, August March, Genevieve Mueller, Amelia Olson, Geoffrey Plant, Benjamin Radford, Jeremy Shattuck, Mike Smith, M. Brianna Stallings, M.J. Wilde, Holly von Winckel PRODUCTION ART DIRECTOR: Jesse Schulz (ext. 229) [email protected] PRODUCTION MANAGER : Archie Archuleta (ext. 240) [email protected] GRAPHIC DESIGNER: Tasha Lujan (ext. 254) [email protected] STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: Eric Williams [email protected] CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS: Ben Adams, Cutty Bage, ¡Brapola!, Michael Ellis, Stacy Hawkinson, KAZ, Robert Maestas, Julia Minamata, Tom Nayder, Ryan North, Jesse Phillips, Brian Steinhoff SALES SALES DIRECTOR: John Hankinson (ext. 265) [email protected] SENIOR DISPLAY ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: Sarah Bonneau (ext. 235) [email protected] ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES: Valerie Hollingsworth (ext. 263) [email protected] Chelsea Kibbee (ext. 248) [email protected] Laura Liccardi (ext. 264) [email protected] Dawn Lytle (ext. 258) [email protected] ADMINISTRATION CONTROLLER: Molly Lindsay (ext. 257) [email protected] ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE : Courtney Foster (ext. 233) [email protected] FRONT DESK: Constance Moss (ext. 221) [email protected] Renee Chavez (ext. 221) [email protected] EDITOR AND PUBLISHER: Carl Petersen (ext. 228) [email protected] SYSTEMS MANAGER: Kyle Silfer (ext. 242) [email protected] WEB MONKEY: John Millington (ext. 238) [email protected] OWNERS, PUBLISHERS EMERITI: Christopher Johnson and Daniel Scott CIRCULATION CIRCULATION MANAGER : Geoffrey Plant (ext. 252) [email protected] INFORMATION PRINTER: The Santa Fe New Mexican IN LOVING MEMORY: Doug Albin, Martin Candelaria, Michael Henningsen, Eric Johnson, Greg Medara, Mina Yamashita INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER: Southwest Cyberport (232-7992) [email protected] NATIONAL ADVERTISING: Voice Media Group (888) 278-9866 voicemediagroup.com NUCITY PUBLICATIONS, INC. 413 Central NW, Albuquerque, New Mexico 87102 BUSINESS HOURS: 10AM–5PM MON–FRI PHONE: (505) 346-0660 FAX: (505) 256-9651 Alibi (ISSN 1088-0496) is published weekly 52 times per year. The content of this issue is Copyright © 2014 by NuCity Publications, Inc., and may not be reprinted in part or in whole without written consent of the publisher. All rights are reserved. One copy of each edition of Alibi is available free to county residents and visitors each week. Anyone caught removing papers in bulk will be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Yearly subscription $100, back issues are $3, Best of Burque is $5. Queries and manuscripts should include a self-addressed stamped envelope; Alibi assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. Association of Alternative Newsmedia WEEKLY ALIBI OCTOBER 23-29 , 2014 [5] charged with possession of a controlled substance and resisting arrest. He was also ODDS charged with reckless conduct for endangering the marathon runners. D Dateline: Florida N WTVT-13 in Tampa is reporting a teenager has been arrested on suspicion of indecent A ENDS exposure after he allegedly had sex with a stuffed animal inside a Walmart store. Police WEIRD NEWS say 19-year-old Sean Johnson was caught on Dateline: Spain surveillance video just before 3pm on Oct. 14 A comedy club in Barcelona has allegedly performing a sex act on a stuffed horse and increased its bottom line after introducing a then putting it back on the shelf. Police said pay-per-laugh system. The Teatreneu Club is the item was “contaminated and unsellable.” experimenting with an innovative facial Johnson left the store, located in Brooksville, recognition system that charges users based on immediately after contaminating the stuffed how much they laugh during a show. Tablet toy, but was caught by police a short time later. computers attached to the backs of seats He reportedly admitted to the incident. measure how often an individual customer Johnson was booked into the Hernando laughs. Patrons are charged .30 euros (about County jail on a $1,500 bond. 38 cents) per chuckle, with a cap of 24 euros ($30.60). The system was introduced after Dateline: Minnesota increased government taxes on tickets caused A drunken zombie Santa was arrested for sales to plummet. Owners say individual ticket breaking into a home in St. Paul. Around revenues have increased 6 euros ($7.70) since 9:45pm on Saturday, Oct. 11, police say initiating the new system. 21-year-old University of St. Thomas student Brock Quinn Johnson entered the unlocked Dateline: Connecticut front door of a residence dressed as an undead John Thornton, 30, has been charged with Santa Claus, scared the residents, vomited and breach of peace, accused of what the police passed out. A neighbor told WCCO-TV a report called “mopping aggressively.” The 14-year-old boy fled from the St. Paul home incident took place on the night of Monday, calling for help, while his 16-year-old sister Oct. 13, at the Double Tree Hotel in Bristol. locked herself in a bathroom and called their Thornton, of Southington, apparently didn’t parents. Police found Johnson asleep inside the like the cleanup job being done by a female house in the aftermath of an epic Zombie Pub employee. Investigators say he became Crawl in Minneapolis. The event drew an “unruly,” took away the employee’s mop and estimated 35,000 people, breaking a Guinness went to town on the hotel’s lobby. Police World record for the most people dressed as spokesperson Lt. Donn Watson told the zombies. The teens’ father said the kids were Connecticut Patch that Thornton “began to unharmed, but that no one in his family “will mop the floor but became more aggressive and ever think of Santa the same way.” mopped over the employee’s shoes several times.” The employee repeatedly asked Dateline: Delaware Thornton to stop mopping, but he backed her Andrew Walls, 32, of Magnolia is suing a into a corner. By the time police arrived hospital after he woke up from anesthetic around 6:30pm, the victim was “shaken and wearing a pair of pink panties—which he crying.” She told police she wished to press insists are not his. Walls says he went in for a charges against Thornton. Initially, Thornton routine colonoscopy and was subjected to an was charged with breach of peace. While being “outrageous prank” by employees at the transported, however, he allegedly shouted Delaware Surgery Center in Dover. Walls, who insults and threatened bodily harm to the used to work at the center, says the incident arresting officers. He was then charged with caused him “shame, embarrassment and second degree threatening. personal humiliation,” forcing him to quit his job because of “severe emotional stress.” Dateline: Illinois According to civil lawsuit papers obtained by Police in Chicago say a fleeing suspect tried to The New Journal of Wilmington, “When the lose officers by blending in to the Chicago plaintiff initially presented for his colonoscopy, Marathon. Bryan Duffy, 29, allegedly ran away he had not been wearing pink women’s from officers when they approached him on underwear and at no time did the plaintiff Sunday, Oct. 12. According to WLS-TV, Duffy voluntarily, knowingly or intentionally place jumped into a group of marathon runners the pink underwear upon himself.” The navigating Chicago’s State Street and tried to Delaware Surgery Center has yet to comment make an escape. Officers ultimately relocated on the lawsuit. a Duffy and tackled him. According to police reports, Duffy was found with 10 capsules of COMPILED BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY. EMAIL MDMA, commonly known as ecstasy, and YOUR WEIRD NEWS TO [email protected]. [6] OCTOBER 23-29 , 2014 WEEKLY ALIBI WEEKLY ALIBI OCTOBER 23-29 , 2014 [7] BYO GPUSITANVOI AOREN LLAN|O ¡ASK A MEXICAN ! BY GUSTAVO ARELLANO ear Mexican: A friend and I ate at Carl’s Jr. My Arizona Republic newspaper was on Dour table. A young guy brought our food, ear Mexican: What do glanced down at the headline and Mexicans in the United winced. It read “‘Chorizo’ new DStates think of the mascot for Cactus League.” We violent drug cartel problem asked him why he’d winced. currently in Mexico? Do “Chorizo,” he said with disgust. local Latinos cringe with “You speak Spanish? It means disgust or fear when they ‘meat.’” “It’s a swear word,” I hear another drug cartel said, “like cabrón , pinche ?” story on the news … or He glared at the paper. “They do they feel a sense of are so stupid.” So, chorizo = disconnect because they meat = prick, yes? are living in America now and it’s no longer a —Su Amor Uni-lingual concern of theirs? Do local Latinos currently fear crossing the San Diego/Mexico Dear My Beloved Monolingual: Let border? Do they worry about me show you my chorizo, and you can being kidnapped or carjacked on the way find out! to Rosario like Caucasian people do right now? —Yo Gabba Gabacho ear Mexican: Why do Mexicans always hand-deliver invitations to birthday parties, quinceañeras, baby showers, bridal Dear Gabacho: Mexicans can be scared of the D showers, etc.
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