“Barbie's Little Sister” How Terrible It Would Be to Be Barbie's Little Sister, Suspended in Perpetual Pre-Adolescence Whil

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“Barbie's Little Sister” How terrible it would be to be Barbie's little sister, suspended in perpetual pre-adolescence while Barbie, hair flying behind her in a tousled blonde mane, dashed from adventure to adventure, ready for space travel or calf roping or roller disco in campy, flashy clothes that defied good taste and reason. Stuck with the awful nickname Skipper, Barbie's little sis never got out much, a mere boarder in Barbie's three-story hot-pink Dream House, too young to wear the thousands of outfits stashed in the bedroom closets: purple beaded Armani evening gowns, knit sweater dresses by Donna Karan, specially commissioned tennis togs sewn personally by Oleg Cassini. Skipper had to buy stuff off the rack at K-Mart, condemned to wear floral sunsuits with Peter Pan collars. Unlike her bosomy sister, Skipper had no chest for the boys to ogle, until some bright toy maker gave us Growing Up Skipper: with a twist of her right arm, she grew taller, breasts sprouting where there once were none, a thick rubber band inside her © 1997 Allison Joseph from In Every Seam pushing her chest up and out until the band snapped and Skipper was stuck at age fifteen, never the same again. For consolation, she turned to Barbie's black friend Christie- who was just figuring out all the fuss about equal rights- and Barbie's best pal Midge, who was tired of hearing about spats with Ken, knowing he was cheating on America's sweetheart with every new celebrity doll on the market- Brooke Shields, Cher, Dorothy Hamill. Together, those three decided they'd had enough of Toyland- so they pooled their cash, swiped Barbie's camper, and tore out of California for Las Vegas, where they bought a little establishment not too far from the gaming houses, a restaurant for all of us without thick manes of hair or upturned noses, without impossibly slender ankles and tiny feet, without perfectly molded breasts. © 1997 Allison Joseph from In Every Seam.

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The wreck of the Barbie Ferrari INTRO: |: D | D | D | D :| |Em |Em |Em Saturday night he comes home stinking |Em |D |D |D |D sunday morning she wakes up thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking |Em |Em |Em does she need to get the kids dressed to go to church |Em He's pulled a shotgun out of the lurch |Em |Em He heads for the TV room starts to search |Em |Em |D |D His problems swollen like a river and his reality's shrinking BRIDGE: |G D |A D He finds them huddled by the toy box and splatters 'em all |G D |A D The Ken and the midge and the skipper doll |G D |A (2/4) |B |B They look like a family but they're really not at all CHORUS: |A |A Well he's sad but he ain't sorry |A |G It ain't the end of the world |G |G(2/4)|D | D | D | D It's just the wreck of the Barbie Ferrari |Em |Em |Em He wonders if he ever said I do |Em To that little blonde plastic voodoo |D |D |D |D And his mind's gone fishing |Em |Em Well it started just as plain as the nose on your face |Em |Em now it's in a thousand pieces all over the place |Em |Em |D |D He thought she was driving but it's twisted beyond recognition |G D |A D All the diapers and the tutus and the basketballs |G D |A D she was giving them a lift to the promised mall |G D |A(2/4) |B |B But somewhere by the TV that V-12 stalled |A |A As he loaded the chamber her eyes got starry |A |G It ain't the end of the world |G |G /2/4) |D It's just wreck of the Barbie Ferrari |G D |A D It's just wreck of the Barbie Ferrari |G D |A D It's just wreck of the Barbie Ferrari |G D |A(2/4) |B |B When they get home from church won't they be sorry |A |A He's cornered 'em all on his urban safari |A |G It ain't the end of the world..
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