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Weddings Etc. M THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS B2 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] May 21, 2015

My big fat out of the ordinary wedding

My aril n Lazar table unwieldy and we eschewed the for- Special to The CJN mality. We opted for a “family table”, pos- itioned in the centre of the room, not raised, isclaimer: this story is not about but delineated only by string lights above my wedding at all, but actually my and giant candelabra trees below. This made Ddaughter’s. And therein lie two im- us accessible to as many guests as possible. portant messages: The table was square which enabled us to Allow the bride and groom to express see, communicate and enjoy each other their own vision for the day – it is their wed- more easily than a traditional long table ding, after all. with families organized on either side of Also, it’s just a day. The marriage will fol- the bride and groom. Another option which low, and on its tail, your lifelong relation- circumvents crowding together a non-hom- ship with your new extended family. ogenous group is the sweetheart table. Although it is cumbersome and time con- Both sets of parents agreed to walk down suming, it is better to over-communicate the aisle and speak at the podium together, than to risk leaving somebody out of the symbolizing that although no longer mar- fold. Consult and involve your team as much ried, we were still a team as far as their kids as possible and hit “reply all” every time. were concerned. As mother-of-the-bride (henceforth re- Much of the beauty and success was ferred to as MOB), I was entrusted with unique to our circumstances. Is there a translating my daughter’s fairytale vision teachable nugget here? In summary, I’ll say into a real-life wedding. In addition to this: I did a lot of preparation beforehand venue, band and décor, there were some ex- to eliminate as many potential pitfalls as tenuating circumstances to consider - read possible. I considered my own needs, but diplomatic minefield. Individual though tion rather than the rule, our plan entailed nil to glatt. Serious illness cast shadow and weighed them against everybody else’s. I those circumstances may be, I believe there some especially challenging circumstances. doubt on the timing and proceedings. Yet stated my case, but only when necessary. are lessons to be gleaned for future brides, Both the bride’s and the groom’s parents are somehow, we all sat happily together at the And then, I opened my heart to the mo- grooms and POCs (parents of couples). divorced. One is remarried with new, grown head table. ment, and the love poured in. Although traditional weddings and nucle- stepchildren to consider for the bridal party Only it was not a head table. Sometimes out of the ordinary can lead to ar families are quickly becoming the excep- and seating. Levels of kashrut ranged from Our numbers would have made a head extraordinary. n France B PRONUPTIA Since 1967

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Koenig offers multicultural take on cuisine

ELAINE COHEN from different sources. Furthermore, she A series of photographs serve as a boon SUPPLEMENTS CO-ORDINATOR notes basic equipment needed to run an to cooks trying to shape hamantashen efficient kitchen. Even veteran chefs will and challah. Challah with Sauteed Leeks ward winning author Leah benefit from tips and notes placed at the and Basic Challah suffice on their own but Koenig’s new cookbook Modern beginning and throughout the book. topped with Supremely Creamy Hummus, A Jewish Cooking: Recipes and Cus- The author presents 11 chapters de- Matbucha and Chopped Liver offer the ul- toms for Today’s Kitchen is a welcome voted to breakfast choices; salads and timate in palate pleasers. addition to every home. spreads; soups; vegetables; noodles, mat- Koenig‘s dairy-free, gluten-free Or- Her first cookbook, The Hadassah Everyday zah, grains, and beans; fish, chicken and ange-Glazed Cornmeal Cake is enriched Cookbook: Daily Meals for the Contempor- meat; vegetarian mains; breads and pas- with nuts and fresh citrus zest and ary Jewish Kitchen was cited for excellence. tries; cookies, cakes and other sweets; fill- juice. For those seeking exotic, easy-to Koenig, who resides in New York with ings and extras, and the holidays. assemble desserts, check out Koenig’s Ta- her husband, Yoshie Fruchter, and their Moreover, she considers the time- hini, Roasted Fig, and Pistachio Sundaes baby, Max, is an active member of the crunch at breakfast. Homemade apple and/or Maple-Cardamom Roasted Pears. RAINCOAST BOOKS IN CANADA PHOTO Jewish community. Her articles have ap- and honey granola is perfect for week- peared in national publications. days mornings, whereas orange-scented Cognizant of sophisticated culinary cheese blintzes win out for family fare Rosemary Roasted Garlic heads tightly in their foil and place in a tastes, Koenig researched, tested and pre- on weekends. Chicken is ubiquitous, yet For Challah small baking dish. sented a wide range of recipes. Her text is chefs continuously seek colourful, tangy Roast until the cloves are very soft enhanced with Sang An’s photographs. variations. Moroccan Chicken with Pre- ❏ 4 heads garlic, unpeeled, tops and lightly browned, 35 to 45 minutes. The hardcover book, distributed by served Lemons and Rosemary-Maple trimmed to expose cloves Remove from the oven and let cool to Raincoast Books in Canada, is especially Roast Chicken exemplify the lineup of ❏ 4 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil the touch. Serve whole heads of garlic suited for newlyweds seeking recipes that delectable dinner-time dishes. ❏ 2 sprigs fresh rosemary alongside challah and instruct your embrace multi-ethnic culinary trends in “For many people,” Koenig says, “brisket guests to squeeze out the soft cloves keeping with Jewish tradition. is the Proustian madeleine of Jewish cook- Preheat oven to 400. Place each head and spread them on their bread. Store, The recipes are easy to follow because ing....” Although people may be attached of garlic on a square of aluminum foil. covered, in the refrigerator for up to two Koenig clarifies each orderly step. Further- to bubbie’s brisket, Koenig takes pride in a Drizzle each with 1 tsp. olive oil and days. Let it come to room temperature more, ingredients are accessible. The au- version rooted in Rome’s Jewish commun- sprinkle the rosemary leaves evenly before using. Yield for two loaves of thor elaborates on Ashkenazi, Sephardi ity. Red Wine and Honey Brisket serves as among the four heads. Wrap the garlic challah. ■ and Mizrahi Jewry. She relates anecdotes her “nod” to stracotto. THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS M May 21, 2015 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] B5 M THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS B6 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] May 21, 2015

Bar/bat mitzvah program features trip to Israel

   ELAINE COHEN Supplements Co-ordinator

hether the life cycle event re- volves around a couple getting W married or an adolescent being called up for a bar/bat mitzvah, Rabbi Boruch Perton, spiritual leader at Con- gregation Beth Zion, customizes the cere- mony and auspicious occasion to comple- ment the celebrant’s personality, strengths and interests. “There is always room for individualism as long as it is kept within the framework of Jewish law and tradition,” Rabbi Perton says. He recalls a sentimental wedding ceremony in which the groom serenaded the bride under the chupah. Rabbi Perton is currently focused on Rabbi Boruch Perton implements innovative an innovative bar/bat mitzvah project at bar/bat mitzvah program at Congregation Congregation Beth Zion, which includes a Beth Zion. Photo courtesy of Congregation free group trip to Israel. Beth Zion Seated in his study at Congregation Beth Zion, an Orthodox synagogue in Cote St. One recent participant had no prior Ju- Luc, Rabbi Perton relates what sparked daic background or knowledge of Hebrew this exciting bar/bat mitzvah program and but she was keen on learning. “I met with action packed trip to Israel. “Our aim at her and discussed the program and now Beth Zion is to reach out to the entire Jew- she reads Hebrew, and volunteers at the ish community throughout greater Mont- Friendship Circle once a week. She also real and welcome everyone, regardless of volunteered to clip off her hair and donate their level of observance,” he says. it for Locks of Love to furnish wigs for can- Sharing Rabbi Perton’s desire to attract cer survivors. a broader demographic, an anonymous “When called up, she will lead a special donor offered a generous incentive. Chil- service and deliver a speech about the sig- dren enrolled in Congregation Beth Zion’s nificance of her bat mitzvah.” bar/bat mitzvah program are eligible for a The rabbi says that many boys and girls free trip to Israel in July 2016. Parents are attend Jewish day schools and are well invited, and they receive a partial subsidy. versed in Hebrew and Judaic studies. They, Participants called up for bar/bat mitz- in turn, are enlightened with a stimulating vah services Saturday mornings between program. April 2015 and June 2016 are eligible. In In Israel, the children will be housed addition, girls who celebrate their bat separately from the parents. For instance, mitzvah at a special service on Sunday at Beit Shemiel, the youth will sleep in a morning during this period are also in- dormitory, whereas the parents will stay at cluded. Girls are called up at 12 and boys an adjacent hotel. at 13. “I want everyone to enjoy their Israel Beth Zion will hold a Shabbat dinner for experience,” Rabbi Perton says. Plans participants to get acquainted before the include kayaking, hiking, camel riding, trip as well as a follow-up meal upon their jeep touring in the south, exploring Kotel M   . return. The celebrants will also be invited tunnels, lunching with soldiers at an army S M         . to address the congregation and to partici- base, breakfast in the Old City and visiting M      , S   , pate in other ongoing activities. Yad Vashem.                  Students enrolled in the program con- “My friend, Sheikh Samir Assi of Akko,   . stantly confer with Rabbi Perton while has arranged a cultural exchange through preparing to be called up for their bar/bat sports in which the Jewish and Arab kids S M G M mitzvah. He oversees every aspect of the will play soccer.” 1155 S  S W, M,  3 23, C      diverse program and interacts with teach- On Rosh Chodesh, the bat mitzvah T: 514-285-9000 ers. participants will hold services with the .@. | . .  Formerly educational director at Hebrew Women of the Wall, whereas the bar mitz- Academy, Rabbi Perton is accustomed to vah counterpart will pray with the men at    working with children and parents. He ad- the Wall. n vises families to make arrangements well ahead. For details, contact Rabbi Perton at Students are welcome at every level. 514-489-8411, ext. 27. THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS M May 21, 2015 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] B7 M THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS B8 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] May 21, 2015

“I do” take your dog (and cat)

Ellen Lechter Green The couple did its research and learn- and the cat joining our lives together was Special to The CJN ed how to introduce a dog into a house ultimately what we wanted. They’re part that already had an adult cat. Since nei- of our family and we can’t imagine life hen Casey Shultz moved in with ther had had a dog before and both were without them.” her boyfriend Stephen three working full time, they decided to avoid Melanie and Paul took in Paul’s father’s W years ago, she brought along getting a puppy. Instead, they contacted dog after the father had an medical emer- her bedroom furniture, a sectional couch, a dog rescue agency in Toronto, were gency a week after their wedding. and her two-year-old cat Oreo. A year later interviewed extensively, filled out the ne- Melanie says she initially had doubts, when the couple became engaged, they cessary paperwork, and landed up with “but, someone had to take in his husky decided to add a dog to their little family. Karma, an eight-year-old golden retriever puppy and that someone turned out to be “Everyone thought we were crazy to who had previously lived with a cat. us,” she says. take on more responsibility,” says Casey, “So there we were, planning our entire “It was kind of like adopting a really ac- 31. “Oreo is a great kitty but she has her wedding and having to deal with intro- tive toddler who never listened.” quirks. She wakes every morning at 5 a.m., ducing Karma to her new home,” laughs Her father-in-law was in the hospital for she has scratched both arms of my couch, Casey. “It wasn’t easy.” a month, and when he was released they and she can meow pretty loudly when she Karma arrived with her own set of quirks all decided the puppy should remain with wants something.” including becoming anxious when left Melanie and Paul. “We were so attached Still, the couple can’t imagine life with- alone for large periods of time. Luckily, Older dog Karma was adopted while her new and let’s face it, puppies are a lot of work. out her. “Even though Oreo was my cat Stephen can bring her to his office every owners were planning a wedding. Now Paul’s dad visits his furry ‘grand-pup’ first, she adopted Stephen as easily as he day and Casey often meets them on her and then gets to leave him here.” adopted her,” she adds. “I could never be lunch break to take Karma for a walk. As find them side by side sleeping on the Luckily, Paul grew up with huskies and with someone who isn’t an animal lover.” for Oreo’s reaction, it was a non-issue. couch.” knew just how to train the puppy. “It’s Stephen, now 30, grew up with an aller- “For about a week, Oreo was hissing and Planning a wedding and getting a dog funny but I think he brought us closer gic sibling but knew a dog would also be avoiding Karma,” says Casey. “But she simultaneously isn’t something the couple together,” says Melanie. “We spend so in his future one day. “At first Casey wasn’t soon realized this is the gentlest sweetest would recommend for everyone. “Plan- much time walking and playing with Dex. sure she wanted a dog because she was dog ever. All Karma wants is to give and ning our wedding while getting Karma He accompanies us in the winter when worried about Oreo’s reaction,” he says. receive love, and to know she has a forever was hectic, I’m not going to lie,” she says. we cross-country ski and in the summer “So we didn’t make the decision to get home. When Oreo realized the dog wasn’t “But the point of getting married was not when we bike. He’s our sidekick and com- Karma lightly.” a threat she came around. Now we often about the wedding. And having the dog pletes our family.” n THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS M May 21, 2015 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] B9

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Merle (née Elkin) and Sidney Margles wed June 16, 1963, at Congregation Beth Ora. Margles family PHOTO

ELAINE COHEN full time, and immersed in evening cours- Supplements Co-ordinator es at Sir George Williams. Sidney was a news broadcaster. Merle says the timing ormer Liberal MNA Paul was right. A romance blossomed and by Gérin-Lajoie may be recognized for the fall of 1962, the couple was engaged. F serving as minister of youth as well Merle, at 21½, and Sidney, 24, wed on as minister of education in the 1960s but June 16, 1963, at Congregation Beth Ora. one happily married couple applauds his Their daughter, Susan, was born in 1966, appearance at a public meeting as the followed by Elizabeth in 1968, and Melissa launch pad for re-igniting a relationship. in 1971. Today, Merle and Sidney’s growing When Sidney Margles first met Merle family includes sons-in-law and six grand- (née Elkin) in 1958, he was at McGill Uni- children ranging in age from 11to 18. versity and she was at Sir George Williams In 1974, Standard Broadcast News, for- (precursor to Concordia University). They merly parent owner of CJAD, asked Sidney dated for a while but later went separate to head up the company’s news operation, ways to focus on other interests. in Ottawa. Standard Broadcast News ser- Sidney spent time in Boston studying viced more than 100 Canadian radio sta- public relations. As far back as his teens, tions. In 1981, Standard Broadcasting re- Sidney remembers hanging out at CJAD ceived CRTC approval for a radio station radio station in . Addicted to the in Ottawa, and Sidney assumed the helm broadcast media, Sidney put aside his as vice-president and general manager. studies at McGill and accepted a full-time While in Ottawa, Merle, along with other job opportunity in 1959 at CJAD. Sidney parents, lobbied for an all-day kindergarten was a pioneer at CJAD, broadcasting live at Hillel Academy. Their plea was answered Learn together, pray together, sit together from the scene of air crashes, bombings, in time for their youngest child. Merle riots, fires and other events. He won num- re-entered the workforce. In the interim, she erous awards, the most notable being for had completed a university degree and had the TCA air crash in Ste. Thérèse in 1963. been involved in the community. When he reconnected with Merle at the Gérin-Lajoie meeting, Merle was working Continued on next page THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS M May 21, 2015 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] B11

In 1984, the family headed back to Mont- real, where Sidney presided over Standard Sound Systems and ran Muzak until 1997. They re-settled in the Town of Mount Roy- al and Sidney’s interest in the community We made every effort led him to seek municipal office. Subse- to sit down to dinner quently, he was served on the council for three consecutive terms. as a family Soon after their return, Sheila Finestone, then newly elected Liberal MP for , offered Merle an administrative position. “We knew each other from pro- jects at Federation CJA,” Merle says. Merle ran Finestone’s office for 15 years. Finestone served as secretary of state for multiculturalism and the status of women in 1993 and was named a senator in 1999, whereupon Merle retired. Despite heavy schedules, Merle and Sid- ney always considered quality time with family a priority. “We made every effort to sit In 2005, the empty nesters moved to down to dinner as a family,” Merle says. Ski- Cote St. Luc. They spend winters down ing was another cherished family activity. south. They are active in both locales. Sid- Merle describes herself as more “reflect- ney served as president of the CSL Senior ive” than Sidney. “He’s more analytical.” Men’s Club for an unprecedented four Sidney observes they like to travel and years and co-presided for two years over share much in common. the Canadian Club at Century Village in Retirement has been gratifying. In 2003, Deerfield Beach, Fla. Two years ago, Cote the Canadian Communications Founda- St. Luc named him volunteer of the year. tion commissioned Sidney to chronicle This May, he received the Quebec Lieu- - for an Internet website - the history of tenant Governor’s Medal for Volunteer Canadian news broadcasting. He was in- Services for Seniors. ducted into the Canadian Association of Asked for a tip for marriage longevity, Broadcasters Hall of Fame in 2009. the couple agree, compromise is key. n

Merle and Sidney Margles enjoy a special occasion with family. Margles family PHOTO M THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS B12 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] May 21, 2015

Out-of-town guests savour time to visit Montreal sites

ELAINE COHEN Supplements Co-ordinator

arents often welcome the oppor- tunity to book a long weekend P when they are invited with the chil- dren to attend a simchah held during the summer in Montreal. Instead of rushing in and out of the city, they are able to spend quality time as a family exploring scenic sites, shops and cultural centres. Furthermore, Montreal is famous for its diverse international summertime fes- tivals. Here is a sampling of what’s in store for summer 2015.

Pointe-à-Callière Museum of Archeol- ogy and History: Built atop an archeo- logical site located in , the Pointe-à-Callière Museum is open all year. From May 29-Oct. 25, the museum will feature an exhibit titled The Aztecs, People With Sun. Among permanent exhibits and interpreted tours are Pirates or Privateers, archeo-adventure workshops and a multi- media show. School-age children partici- pate in re-enacting the world of Montreal Pointe-à-Callière Museum of Archeology and History interactive exhibit. Courtesy of Pointe-à-Callière Museum privateer Pierre Le Moyne D’Iberville in the late 17th and 18th centuries. They learn and temporary exhibits and the complex present. The international research centre Yiddish Theatre and much more. Among the difference between a legitimate priva- boasts a library, theatre, auditorium, res- and museum was founded by Phyllis Lam- upcoming features is a show featuring teer and a sea bandit/pirate. For details on taurant and garden. From May 30-Oct. 18, bert in 1979 on the conviction that “archi- Emma Frank’s music on June 7, a music- Pointe-à-Callière, Montreal’s History and sculpture aficionados can feast their eyes tecture is a public concern.” The building al adaptation of Mordecai Richler’s iconic Archeology complex visit www.pacmusee. on Metamorphoses in Rodin’s Studio. For was designed by Peter Rose with consult- novel The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz qc.ca or phone 514-872-9150 for informa- details, phone 514-285-2000 or visit www. ing architect Phyllis Lambert and associ- from June 7-28, Broadway Cafe on June 8 tion on how to purchase a pass, which is mbam.qc.ca. ate architect Erol Argun in 1989. The CCA and The Dybbuk from Aug. 9-27. For infor- accepted at 38 Montreal museums and is Garden was designed by Montreal architect mation, visit www.segalcentre.org valid for three consecutive days. McCord Museum, 690 rue Sherbrooke Melvin Charney. CCA was integrated with Est, presents permanent exhibits such as the historically classified Shaughnessy Montreal Holocaust Memorial Centre IMAX Telus Montreal Science Centre is The First People’s Collection that depicts House (1874). For information on exhibits (MHMC), 5151 chemin Cote Ste. Cather- located in the heart of the Old Port. Cur- the importance of dress in the develop- and events, visit www.cca.qc.ca. ine, serves as an eye-opener for people of rent Imax documentaries in 3D include ment and identity of aboriginal commun- all ages and backgrounds. Through guided Jerusalem; Jean-Michel Cousteau’s Secret ities. Phone 514-398-7100. The Segal Centre for the Performing tours and exhibits, visitors learn about the Ocean; and Pandas: The Journey Home. Arts, 5170 chemin Cote Ste. Catherine Holocaust and are sensitized to the perils For information, phone 514-496-4629. Canadian Centre for Architecture (CCA), is a multi-disciplinary arts institution. of prejudice, anti-Semitism, racism, hate 1920 rue Baile in , It houses the award-winning Segal The- and apathy. MHMC promotes the sanctity Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 1380 rue serves as an exemplary museum and study atre, the Academy of Performing Arts, of human life. For information, visit www. Sherbrooke Ouest, presents permanent centre devoted to architecture, past and CinemaSpace Studio, Dora Wasserman mhmc.ca

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Christine Jensen at Montreal International Jazz Festival DENIS ALIX photo Biodome Photo courtesy www.espacepourlavie.ca

Chateau Ramezay Photo courtesy www.chateauramezay.qc.ca Maison Saint-Gabriel Photo courtesy www.maisonsaint-gabriel.qc.ca

Montreal International Jazz Festival around the world. For information, visit Mount Royal Park serves as a nature designated a national historical site in 36th edition will be held from June 26 www.hahaha.com lover’s mountain view escape from the 1949. For information, phone 514- 861- to July 5 at various venues in downtown hustle and bustle of the city below. The 3708 or visit www.chateauramezay.qc.ca Montreal. The Guinness World Records Botanical Gardens, rue 4101 Sherbrooke urban park was designed in 1876 by Fred- rates the Montreal event as the world’s Est, provides a floral paradise in the heart erick Law Olmstead, also the architect Maison Saint-Gabriel, 2146 Place Dublin largest jazz festival. Two-thirds of the of an urban centre. The Insectarium de for Central Park in New York City. The in Pointe Saint Charles, is a 300-year-old 1,000 concerts and activities are free. The Montreal, 4581 rue Sherbrooke Est, pre- 200-hectare Mount Royal Park and Smith edifice that illustrates aspects of rural life. events are presented in 15 concert halls sents exhibitions for all age groups. Special House are located at 1260 Remembrance Over the years, it has served as a house to and on eight outdoor stages in Mont- guided activities and interactive programs Road. For more information, phone 514- receive the King’s wards, a school, and a real’s downtown core. Colin James and are geared to children. For information on 843-8240. farmhouse. In 1965, Maison Gabriel was Beth Hart are among this year’s featured both places, phone 514-872-1400. restored, declared a monument of na- performers. For information visit www. Chateau Ramezay, 280 Notre Dame tional interest, and transformed into a montrealjazzfest.com The Biodome, 4777 avenue Pierre de Est, relives 500 years of history through museum in 1966. The fieldstone barn was Coubertin, 514-868-3000, invites visitors its exhibits. The Governor’s Garden was restored in 1992. Objects dating from the Festival takes place at of all ages to tour the facility’s ecosystems built in 1705 as the residence of Claude 17th century such as tools, furniture and venues in Montreal’s downtown core from of the Americas, tropical rainforests, Lau- de Ramezay, governor of Montreal. Later paintings are displayed. Permanent and July 8-28. The 33rd anniversary festival rentian maple forests, the Gulf of the St. the building became an army headquar- temporary exhibits plus guided tours are welcomes Bill Burr, Kevin Hart, Alonzo Lawrence, the Labrador coast and the ters and in 1776 Benjamin Franklin paid available. Visit www.maisonsaint-gabriel. Bodden and many other artists from Antarctic Islands. an overnight visit. Chateau Ramezay was qc.ca. n M THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS B14 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] MAY 21, 2015 THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS M MAY 21, 2015 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] B15 M THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS B16 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] May 21, 2015

Study calendar before setting dates tevet

ELAINE COHEN Furthermore, some couples are so set on end or plan a mini-family vacation Supplements Co-ordinator a certain venue or vendor that they defer around the date of a function. the date until learning the respective place For those planning a simchah in t first glance, setting a simchah or source is available. Bar mitzvah dates 2015, here is a sampling of Jewish date seems simple but celebrants depend on the Jewish calendar as well as holidays. Check with your synagogue Aare advised to do their homework the date of the child’s birthday. Since both and spiritual leader to be sure. to avoid disappointment. Besides study- sides of the family are involved in plan- No Jewish marriages are permitted dur- ing Jewish and secular calendars, wise ning a wedding, the consultation process ing the period of three weeks leading up planners run the date by loved ones, close is more intense. and including the Fast of Tisha b’Av. This friends, clergy, and other principals before In most instances, the celebrants’ circle period takes place from July 3 to July 26. ceremonies can be performed after the banking on their presence. of family and friends includes a number Sept. 14 and 15, Rosh Hashanah; Sept. 23, conclusion of Sabbath at nightfall. Career commitments, university exam- of out-of-towners. Therefore, it pays to flip Yom Kippur; Sept.28-Oct. 4, Sukkot; Oct. Tishrei 4-8 represents the 10 days of re- ination deadlines, pre-arranged surgery, through the calendar to figure out which 6, Simchat Torah; Dec. 7-14, Chanukah. pentance, therefore, it is customary to tax time for accountants, busy seasons for national and/or international holiday Rosh Chodesh, the beginning of a Jew- refrain from scheduling weddings during retail merchants, pre-scheduled business weekends would work out well. The invi- ish month is an auspicious date for a this period. n trips are all bound to have an impact on tation may serve as an incentive for out- couple to begin their married life together. the final decision. of-towners to extend a long holiday week- Weddings are not held during Shabbat but For more information, visit www.chabad.org

Temple Emanu-El-Beth Sholom will make your special day unforgettable! THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS M May 21, 2015 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] B17

Marriages made in heaven take place on earth

ELAINE COHEN Egypt, marrying outside the family stood pendulum had swung and women were Supplements Co-ordinator as an opportunity for families to establish encouraged to carve out careers and work connections and gain powerful alliances. outside the home. n biblical times, Jewish fathers gov- Authors Sholom Aleichem and Jona- Pre-1970, a high proportion of women erned their unmarried daughters until than Safran Foer paint tales of marriages resided with their families before mar- I marriage. Subsequently, the husband in central and eastern European shtetls. riage. Some families continue to respect took over and the bride assumed a matri- Matchmakers assumed an active role ar- these rules, but for the most part society archal role bearing children. By the Mid- ranging them. Women attended to do- recognizes an adult’s choice. dle Ages, the respective parties, namely mestic chores, looked after the children, Although the “pink ceiling” prevails, father of the bride and the groom, signed and contributed to finances by developing more women have attained distinguished an agreement. The wife’s place was in the businesses. Hence, their husbands were positions and entered legal and medic- home. Girls were betrothed in their early able to devote time to study. al professions than ever before. Women teens but their partners tended to be older. By the turn of the century, arranged in Quebec retain their full family name The ketubah became recognized as a marriages were no longer de rigueur, es- after marriage, whereas years ago they legal document to protect the bride. The pecially among families that had settled automatically assumed the husband’s bride’s family was obligated to provide in North America. Many women worked surname. North American women pursue a dowry and the groom was expected to in factories, replacing men called to the careers, and spouses share domestic dut- offer a marriage gift. It was a husband’s front during World War II. Otherwise, from ies and child rearing commitments. duty to support his wife but part of the the 1920s to the mid-’60s, a large percent- The Internet and social media serve as monetary share was put aside as a means age of the female population were listed a medium for meeting future mates. In of tiding her over in case he died or aban- as homemakers. During this era, women addition, people continue to meet through doned her. were encouraged to get married in their attending activities run by schools, syna- Judith Basken, editor of Jewish Women, early 20s, whereas today women tend to gogues, charitable organizations, sports delves into lifestyle modes throughout develop careers, travel and live independ- and cultural centres. They are also intro- history. She notes first cousins or suit- ently before settling down. Although Shutterstock photo duced through friends and colleagues. As able relatives were often considered ideal women attended university long before for Yenta the Matchmaker, an impressive mates to retain prosperity within the the 1950s, more females pursued college Betty Friedan were among the early pro- fictional icon, don’t rule her out. Modern family unit plus offer a sense of security degrees by the mid-1950s. American fem- ponents behind the women’s liberation day matchmakers may use modern means for the bride. In regions such as Syria or inists Gloria Steinem, Germaine Greer and movement in the 1960s. By the ’70s, the but with a little luck achieve results. n M THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS B18 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] May 21, 2015

Cheryl Besner’s brainchild blossoms: Solo in the City

ELAINE COHEN events, Besner was ready to carve her Anna Karenina. Cheryl Besner Supplements Co-ordinator niche. She credits clinical psychologist As for guidance, Besner addresses topics Solointhecity.tv and sex therapist Laurie Betito, as the such as the ABC’s of finding Mr. Right Photo hen Cheryl Besner and her hus- catalyst behind her venture. Besner is on and dating tips for men, and she pro- band of 25 years parted 4½ years the panel of the Friday edition of Betito’s vides a triple A list related to successful Wago, the Westmount mother of CJAD 800 radio show Passion. dating. The key words are “attention, three set out on a personal venture. Care- Fast forward to 2015 and Besner’s brain- attraction and affection.” fully surveying the singles scene, Besner child, Solo in the City (solointhecity.tv), a If you succeed in getting attention discovered a labyrinth of dating venues multi-platform website is booming. The and retaining the attraction, then it’s but sensed the need for an inclusive site comprehensive site motivates singles to up to you to decide if the affection is with a personal touch. get out and network. “It’s important to strong enough to make a full com- “I wanted to create a hub for people,” she devote one night a week to being social mitment. On a personal note, Bes- said. “We use experts in life to help us in and interacting with people. That’s taking ner alludes to a “brief relationship” every aspect of our health and education the dating site concept to another level.” she had a couple of years after her but when it comes to guiding us through Besner prefers the term “solo” to sin- separation. “We were dating but dating sites, we lack expert guidance.” gle. Even people with partners do things weren’t at the same place. He want- Besner’s background in branding and alone, whether it’s taking a course or at- ed something more permanent but I her inherent flair for making connections tending a meeting, she says. wasn’t ready to make a commitment.” 800 at 10 p.m. every Saturday. The radio stood her in good stead. Formerly in the The website solointhecity.tv includes Her target market is 35-to-55-year-olds show features guests and discussions. fashion industry, Besner gravitated to KISS (Keep It Simple and Social), a cal- but she is averse to pigeonholing people “Dan is a 30-year-old bachelor, and I’m in planning high profile events and fundrais- endar of monthly meetups and events in according to age. my early 50s with two children in their 20s ers, such as the Angel’s Ball for the Jewish the city, videos, podcasts, a dating site, Besner is cautious about venturing out and a teenage son,” Besner says. “We may General Hospital. services, dating tips and blogs. Except for of her realm. “I’m a dating coach not a look at things from a different perspective After a year of blogging on 365daysto- consultations and a fee to become a mem- psychologist or a therapist.” If warranted, and that’s of interest to our audience.” findlove.com, attending international ber of the dating site, visitors can access she will direct people to seek professional The founding president of Solo in the conferences, achieving certification as a practically everything. A sampling of April help. City, Besner refers to herself as the Mont- dating coach through the International KISS listings included a Passover dinner, Solo in the City is constantly broadening real socialista. She takes pride in her Dating Coach Association, addressing “Butterflies are Free” at the Montreal Bo- its scope. Since March 21, Besner and Dan team, which includes Toronto socialista audiences through the media and at tanical Gardens and Les Grandes Ballet’s Delmar co-host Solo in the City on CJAD Lisa Fuoco. n THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS M May 21, 2015 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] B19

Nothing more romantic than coming home, say olim

Jnnie fer Tzivia MacLeod For newer olim, like Rachel and myself, Special to the CJN with travel generally made impossible by young children, ulpan studies, or renting here’s no place like home to cele- an apartment, we have to find our ro- brate an anniversary, but for the mance in less grand gestures. T many Canadians living in Israel “One of the things we do every anniver- (25,000 according to estimates), Israel sary,” Rachel told me, “is we review the has become home – and a place to find last year, how have we done, how we are and establish new anniversary traditions. as a couple. We look back at what we’ve Or, in the case of my husband and I, who been through and where we are now. This made aliyah with our two youngest kids, a past year, we returned to Israel. We were place where an anniversary can fall by the Northern Israel Dafna Tal photo married in Israel, had intense experien- wayside in the overwhelming “balagan” of ces in Israel… and now we’ve brought our establishing a new life. That’s always been our default anniver- special anniversary and milestone birth- family back home.” It wasn’t supposed to be that way. The sary celebration, too – the dinner-date, day in November 2012 as an excuse to I look at my husband, across the table Hebrew date of our wedding anniversary maybe with a movie. With four children join in the Israeli national obsession and here on a Sunday morning workday in falls on the second day of the month of and busy lives, it’s always been very spe- travel to Asia, in their case, to India with our tiny Haifa apartment, listening to the Shvat, easy to remember because schools cial to just take an evening off. their daughters. “Israelis love to travel,” traffic and birds chirping outside, seeing and kindergartens are gearing up for Tu Rachel is more philosophical than I am. Stephen says. “In Canada, one can drive the gently warm sunlight, and realize – b’Shvat. Still, the date came and went, and “The romantic… part for us is that we’re 1,000 miles to reach the Manitoba border. we’re home. nothing happened. alive; we didn’t kill each other.” She’s only Here it takes less than two hours to get to There’s no candle in the middle of this With our move here, we lost our free half-joking. “When you look back over the end of kvish sheish.” [Highway Six – a table, no glatt kosher meal served by wait- babysitters back in Toronto. But it’s not what you’ve done… you’ve moved to Is- new road connecting northern Israel with ers, and soon enough, we’ll have to go pick just about the money. It is more about rael with a spouse. The fact that we’re still the centre of the country]. up our kids from school. But in the mean- finding someone we trust to babysit. together, speaking to each other, loving A highlight of the visit for Stephen time, we don’t need to go anywhere else or “We probably won’t be celebrating it of- each other deeply… it’s very powerful.” and Alison was a trip to the Elijah Rock, do anything else. We have given ourselves ficially this year,” says my friend Rachel, Veteran Toronto oleh Stephen Epstein, thought to be the location of a visit from the ultimate anniversary present this year. who also moved to Israel, leaving behind who made aliyah in 2005 with his wife Elijah the Prophet, considered sacred by After two millennia, there’s nothing more in-laws who babysat. Alison and two young children, used a both Bene Israel Jews and local Hindus. romantic than coming home. n

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Hethe He Hethewaspersecution wasHe waspersecution was is is this,this,is isof this, this,witches. who ofwho witches.who pickswho picksHepicks up pickswasHe hisup upwas hisessaysisup his this, essaysis his essays this, inwho essays inwho picksin picksin up hisup hisessays essays in in 55995599 Paré Paré St. St. Mon.Mon. to5599 Fri. to5599 Paré Fri.9 - Paré 59 St. - 5 St. 55995599 Paré Paré St. St. civilcivil war war between civilbetweencivil war warCatholicsbetween Catholicsbetween Catholics and Catholics andcivil civil soandwar pantheisticsoand war betweenpantheisticso betweenpantheisticso pantheistic Catholics in Catholics his inin his visioninand hisvision visionand vision thatso that pantheisticthatso that he hepantheistic hehewhatever whatever inwhateverwhatever his in timehisvision time timevision or time that circumstance oror that circumstanceheor circumstancehewhatever whateverfinds finds time finds time514- findsor 737-9180 514-circumstance or 737-9180 circumstance514-514-737-9180737-9180 findsMon. findsMon. to Fri. 514-to 9Fri. 737-9180-514- 5 9 737-9180- 51 BLOCK1 BLOCK W. OF W.DECARIEMon. OF DECARIEMon. to1 Fri.BLOCK to1 9 Fri.BLOCK - W.5 9 OF - W.5 1DECARIE BLOCK OF 1DECARIE BLOCK W. OF W.DECARIE OF DECARIE ProtestantsProtestants hadProtestants had Protestantsturned turned had France had turnedFrance turned into France intoProtestants FranceProtestants couldinto couldinto write,couldhad write,couldhad turned write, “There turned write, “There France“There is…France“There is…into a certainis… into a a certain certaincould a certaincould re- re-write, re- re-write, them“Therethem them“Therethem contemporary.” contemporary.”is… contemporary.” contemporary.”is… a certain a certain re- re-themthem contemporary.” contemporary.” THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS M May 21, 2015 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] B21

Fifty-plus population engage in family simchahs

ELAINE COHEN cise physiologist. weeks before an occasion or trip,’ and ex- Supplements Co-ordinator Throughout the years, Vézina has wit- pect immediate results because it doesn’t nessed people in their 20s and 30s neglect happen overnight.” fter the dignified bridal couple themselves because they are so preoccu- Although there is no magic cure, pain took their vows under the chupah, pied with building careers and raising management can be improved through A the poised groom lifted his left families. They may get away with it for exercise and, if necessary, medication foot and without any assistance shattered a decade or so but gradually they lose prescribed by a physician. “By gaining the glass. Although this custom is com- strength and may develop problems that stamina, it’s possible to endure pain bet- mon practice at the completion of every interfere with their daily routine. ter because a lot of muscular conditions Jewish wedding ceremony, for this groom The Wellness Centre caters to the 50- build up base endurance and strength. it marked a significant achievement. plus community, and Vézina, along with Exercise enthusiasts gear up for family The long-term objective is better health Before engaging in a balance training co-manager Maria Fragapane and the simchahs. Photo courtesy of Cummings Centre to enjoy more quality years. Adhere to a program at the Wellness Centre, the astute entire Cummings team, offers numer- steady routine but practice moderation. 83-year-old lacked the agility, balance and ous multi-faceted individual and group Among the variety of wellness-oriented At Cummings, if members want to start stamina to perform this ritual. programs for active 50-year-old business activities at Cummings are hiking clubs, a class, we offer them lots of choice and However, like many younger members people as well as early retirees, part-time day trips, brain booster workshops, di- guide them all the way.” of Cummings Centre, 5700 Westbury Ave., career people and seasoned retirees. verse aerobics programs , dance, yoga, Regardless of fitness level, it is important he turned to a Wellness Centre custom- “Our gym program caters to a younger Pilates, aqua fitness, boxing, muscular to remain active and involved in family ized program for help. The first step in- clientele,” Vézina said. “We have elliptical conditioning classes, as well as adapted and community life at every stage, Vézina volved a comprehensive assessment with equipment and functional trainers on the programs geared to members recovering insists. Life-cycle events and holidays are one of the centre’s trained kinesiologists, floor that work core balance and strength from surgery or adjusting to life with long- constant, therefore, parents and grand- who subsequently designed a program simultaneously.” er-term conditions. parents have good reason to set short term tailored to meet his needs. A vigorous full body workout for a “Muscle loss starts at age 30 so by 50 goals. Every movement counts, wheth- The key to maximizing agility, balance, 51-year-old may differ from a drum and there is quite a difference, and by the 60s, er it’s being present at a grandchild’s bar bone and muscle strength, as well as re- dance class to meet another need. Never- things start happening.” mitzvah, participating in a family wedding duce stress, is to choose an individual or theless, she reserves praise for a number She says people are invariably motivated procession, wheeling a grandchild’s stroll- group program of interest and follow it of members in their 80s, who have worked when they set short-term goals and wit- er through the park, or getting in and out through, says Wellness Centre co-program out for over 18 years. Their endurance is ness positive results. of an automobile. Vézina is pleased to re- manager, Annette Vézina, a clinical exer- remarkable, she says. “Don’t say, ‘I’ll wait to begin until a few spond to calls at 514-342-1234, ext. 7305. n

The Beth Zion wishes the Jewish community a Healthy and Happy Passover M THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS B22 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] May 21, 2015

Ceremony, celebration and honeymoon all in one

Ellen Lechter Green Wedding packages can be intimate or Special to The CJN grand, depending on your vision and budget. Many resorts offer packages that estination weddings are growing in range from accommodating large af- popularity and it’s easy to under- fairs in luxurious reception halls to cas- D stand why. The chance to say ‘I do’ ual beach parties, which is what Nathan on a beach at sunset or on top of a cliff chose. Typically, a destination wedding overlooking the ocean obviously has its will be less expensive for the couple be- appeal. cause guests often pay for their own travel “I wanted to exchange our vows in a and accommodations. The ideal location for the couple’s sunset ceremony took place right on the beach. stunning location,” says Marlee Nathan, “We were lucky. All our guests were able 33, who married her husband Matthew to celebrate with us,” says Nathan. “We other necessary details. If possible, it’s really had to scrounge around to find the in the Bahamas this past winter. “I en- said our vows and celebrated with them in also a good idea to check out the location resort that could accommodate them.” visioned us on a white sand beach, the an informal way over a span of a few days prior to booking. “We weren’t able to visit As well, be sure to research local mar- ocean close by.” instead of just one.” the resort ahead of time but we were able riage requirements thoroughly before set- Nathan wore a simple chiffon wedding Of course, not every destination wed- to see many photos as well as videos of tling on a location and make sure to apply dress with a floral one-shoulder strap. Her ding is held on a tropical island. Popular wedding packages they offered,” she said. for or renew your passport before your groom wore a sports shirt and off-white locations include Europe, cruises, and She also suggests determining a tenta- trip. By planning carefully in advance, linen pants. Neither wore shoes. “I didn’t even Disney World. tive head count before making a down you can concentrate on what’s important want to get caught up in planning one of “Since our wedding coincided with payment. “Since we didn’t invite many on the big day. those affairs that grows bigger with every spring vacation in March, we reserved guests, it wasn’t hard to establish attend- “Our wedding was everything we day you plan it,” she says. blocks of rooms months ahead of time ance from an early date,” she says. dreamed of, and more,” she says. “It was “Matt and I have very small families so and we were able to receive a discounted “And by booking far in advance, we were both a wedding and honeymoon in one. we were able to keep the guest list small. rate for our guests.” able to get our first choice of resort and It was also a unique opportunity for us to We only invited family and our closest Nathan suggests sending save-the-date venue. Friends of ours decided to marry in create memories with our loved ones that friends.” cards with airport, accommodation and the Caribbean at the last minute and they we will cherish forever.” n

Forever Weddings EsthEtic sErvicEs For beautiful makeup and hair Lash ExtEnsions

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Annie Young Cosmetiques annieyoungmakeup THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS M May 21, 2015 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] B23

Grooms put best foot forward in classic shoes

A znITA S abadi-Gottesman a black base and white top. Prada has de- Special to The CJN signed a black shoe with white flower de- tail. Many other top-shelf designers have he groom’s shoe choice on his included wedding shoes in their 2015 col- wedding day punctuates his sense lections. Jimmy Choo highlights a com- T of style, whether wearing a classic fortable slip-on black glitter shoe to ramp tuxedo or fashion forward suit. It is im- up the groom’s style. portant to put his best foot forward as he Look for a non-skid sole to avoid slip- walks down the aisle, and there are many ping on the dance floor. The sole should options. be stitched rather than glued and be at For a more casual beach-side or rustic least ¼-in. thick. The groom can show wedding, a leather loafer or boat shoe some of his unique style with a clas- would perfectly offset a pair of khakis or sic black shoe sporting a coloured sole Bermuda shorts. For the groom choosing matching the wedding décor. Cole Haan Black patent leather shoes remain a classic choice for the groom on his wedding day. the classic tuxedo and bow tie, the appro- features a classic black lace up with a hot Anita Szabadi-Gottesman Photo priate choice in shoewear reflects not only pink sole and matching pink laces. his personality but finishes off the look. Standing the test of fashion time is the a solid reputation in the shoe business. Purchase two sets of laces and replace Stick with a lace up or slip on, focusing on black patent leather shoe. This elegant A good pair of shoes generally falls into as needed so that shoes never look ratty comfort and support. Black remains the shoe features a high gloss finish that a higher category price point but with or sloppy. colour of choice. Navy blue leather adds punches upPatisserie the look for the Irisistible day. Black properPar Loutaticare will last the wearer for dec- Wipe shoes down after each wear paying a bit of panache or the groom may bring patent is durable and very easy to keep ades. Purchase a pair of cedar shoe trees careful attention to salt or other stains. out his whimsical side with a pair of blue clean. A damp3855 cloth Boul and mild Decarie soap is all to properly store your shoes. Use high-quality replacement soles and suede shoes. that’s neededMontreal, to wipe off dust QC or dirt. GQ Magazine provides the following tips don’t wait too long to re-sole as some Giving a nod to the bride in her white Finding the right shoe with the right fit for shoe care: damage is irreversible. gown, some grooms will go with all white requires theH4A services 3J6 of a seasoned shoe Place cedar shoe trees in shoes after Store shoes away from any heat source leather shoes or Lacoste’s combination of salesman. Shop514- specialty 488-8500 stores that have each wear to soak up sweat and odours. so the leather will not dry out. n

Patisserie “Irisistible” Par Loutati opened its doors this past March with its first location on Decarie Boulevard in NDG in our beautiful city of Montreal. It was named after the owner, Iris Loutati. Although this is the first shop of its kind, Iris has previously owned with her late husband, Prosper Loutati z”l, “Tradition Catering” and “Exception Boutiques” for over 20 years. Furthermore, she has taken with her all that she has learned to love and injected it into this new venture. The shop’s intimate environment and superior product is quickly becoming a favorite in the Montreal community. Patisserie “Irisistible” is a charming pastry shop specializing in traditional and signature French Pastries. Take a step into their lovely shop and be dazzled by an overwhelming array of French special occasion cakes (including wedding cakes), individual pastries, viennoiseries, chocolates and a large array of macarons that are made daily, on premise. Moreover, all the products are Kosher Pareve, which are products without dairy or meat ingredients. There are a wide variety of gluten free products as well. They also offer an outstanding selection of espresso, coffee and lunch items daily, consisting of fresh, made to order salads, sandwiches and soups. On Sundays, they serve a Mediterranean breakfast that will be available to order all day. They look forward to impress your palettes!

Patisserie Irisistible Par Loutati 3855 Boul Decarie Montreal, QC H4A 3J6 514- 488-8500

Patisserie “Irisistible” Par Loutati opened its doors this past March with its first location on Decarie Boulevard in NDG in our beautiful city of Montreal. It was named after the owner, Iris Loutati. Although this is the first shop of its kind, Iris has previously owned with her late husband, Prosper Loutati z”l, “Tradition Catering” and “Exception Boutiques” for over 20 years. Furthermore, she has taken with her all that she has learned to love and injected it into this new venture. The shop’s intimate environment and superior product is quickly becoming a favorite in the Montreal community. Patisserie “Irisistible” is a charming pastry shop specializing in traditional and signature French Pastries. Take a step into their lovely shop and be dazzled by an overwhelming array of French special occasion cakes (including wedding cakes), individual pastries, viennoiseries, chocolates and a large array of macarons that are made daily, on premise. Moreover, all the products are Kosher Pareve, which are products without dairy or meat ingredients. There are a wide variety of gluten free products as well. They also offer an outstanding selection of espresso, coffee and lunch items daily, consisting of fresh, made to order salads, sandwiches and soups. On Sundays, they serve a Mediterranean breakfast that will be available to order all day. They look forward to impress your palettes!

M THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS B24 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] May 21, 2015

Cuff shirts with cufflinks for groom and groomsmen

A znITA S abadi-Gottesman Materials include crystal, often featur- Special to The CJN ing Swarovski elements, mother-of-pearl, Murano glass and an array of colourful ormal tuxedo dressing requires gemstones and more set on a stainless a French cuff white shirt for the steel, sterling silver or karat gold base. F groom, best man and groomsmen. They can be personalized to include the The French cuff shirt was designed more grooms’ monogrammed initials. than 100 years ago with long cuffs that For the groom wanting to add a bit of could be folded over and made shorter panache to his formal outfit, he can ex- for the wearer. press himself with a pair of cufflinks that Most often a working man, he adjusted reflect his favourite sports team or pas- the shirt to the appropriate length secur- time. ing it with laces or string as the precursor The range of cufflinks in the market- to the cufflink. place run from novelty styles in cigar- With the arrival of the button cuff shirt, shaped cufflinks and golf ball and clubs the French cuff lost favour with the work- to simple round or square classically in- ing classes. The unique design of the spired choices. French cuff shirt has however stood the As a thoughtful nod to his bride, the test of time, having garnered a new place groom may choose a pair of floral cuff- from its modest beginnings. Whimsical cufflink design choices, such as the sailboats pictured left, reflect the groom’s links to match her bouquet. Over the last century, the shirt gained personality or interests. Monogrammed cufflinks as a special gift from the bride to her groom While most department stores and traction with the upper classes of the add meaning to the wedding day. Anita Szabadi-Gottesman PHOTOs specialty jewellers carry a selection of United Kingdom and France including cufflinks, one-of-a-kind designs can be England’s Duke of Windsor. It was re- shirts are the preferred pairing with a for- for business attire but for the groom and custom made or found on line through born as an elegant shirt to be worn and mal tuxedo. his wedding party, it’s fun to ramp it up. individual designers or on collective sites adorned with cufflinks most often for Cufflinks are another stylized acces- Structured with a pivot closure on a chain such as Etsy. special occasions. sory in a man’s wardrobe that define or stationary arm, the possibilities are Cufflinks to wear on his wedding day, While some men choose to wear shirts his style and reflect his personality. The seemingly endless for material, colour chosen and offered as a gift by his bride- with cufflinks for office wear, French cuff vintage silk knot is a good place to start and design. to-be, add special meaning to the day. n THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS M MAY 21, 2015 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] B25

Beauty editor turns health coach and shares findings

ELAINE COHEN pants in the ceremonial procession will In addition, Hart notes breathing and SUPPLEMENTS CO-ORDINATOR no doubt devote time and effort to look- meditation exercises to relax muscles ing their best. To ensure a neat presence, and boost circulation. Conversely, she ou are what you eat has become they are most likely to gear up for the oc- targets sugar, processed foods and alco- the mantra for health-conscious casion several weeks ahead. Therefore, hol as “beauty betrayers” that set people Y consumers in the 21st century. they are bound to garner tips from read- up for emotional eating. A proponent The proliferation of beauty products, ing Eat Pretty. of beauty sleep, Hart shuns “sleep sabo- miracle diets and makeover concepts is Hart started off as a journalist and teurs” such as after dinner caffeine-laden mind boggling. Therefore, it is refreshing beauty editor, and throughout the years stimulants and blue lights coming from to discover Philadelphia author Jolene her work has been published in People, laptop or other digital devices. Warm Hart’s simplified holistic approach to diet Allure, Organic Spa, Prevention and In- milk and bananas will boost health and and exercise. Hart equates beauty with Style magazines. satisfy bedtime hunger, she says, whereas overall wellness. The nature of her profession presented dark chocolate and alcoholic beverages Eat Pretty: Nutrition for Beauty Inside opportunity to sample distinguished add useless calories. Addressing individ- and Out is a 208-page succinct, read- beauty products. Nevertheless, she uals who fret over things when it’s time to er-friendly pocket guide that informs failed to achieve optimum results until go to sleep, Hart suggests adding jottings without promoting pricey products or she adopted a wholesome approach to to a notebook and keeping the notebook presenting hypothetical success stories. beauty, diet and exercise. Certified by the out of the bedroom. Instead, relax in a Distributed by Raincoast Books in Can- Institute for Integrative Nutrition and the warm bath and then hop into a comfort- ada, Eat Pretty includes nine chapters American Association of Drugless Prac- able bed. highlighting beauty betrayers, beauty titioners, Hart is determined to provide A sampling of items that rank high on nutrition 101, a beautiful kitchen, and women with the tools to create a unique, Hart’s list, include apples, carrots, celery, chapters covering spring, summer, au- healthy lifestyle of beauty. radishes, raspberries, and walnuts. tumn and winter seasonal choices, and Eat Pretty zeroes in on 85 accessible The information applies Hart advocates walnuts as a supple skin beauty beyond the dinner plate. everyday foods paired with specific to women in all age and snack. “Raw walnuts are full of beautify- The information applies to women in glow-getting benefits. The author clari- ing fat, protein, and minerals that guard all age and interest groups. It is particu- fies buzzwords such as antioxidants, bio- interest groups our skin and hair against harsh dry win- larly timely for people appearing in the tin, and omega-3s without resorting to ter weather. Just one ounce of walnuts spotlight at events, such as weddings. medical jargon. She provides beauty tips has more antioxidants than the average The bride, her mother and other partici- and recipes apropos for every season. person consumes in a day.” ■ M THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS B26 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] May 21, 2015

Blind date number 3 is a keeper

S hirley Kellerstein no problem with the idea of a pleasant Special to The CJN evening out. Before Joe was supposed to pick me up, oe was my blind date number 3. I blind date number 4 had called. He was was his blind date number 10. His so obnoxious on the phone that I refused J four-year relationship had come to go out with him. When Joe called to to an end one month before the planned say he was delayed and if I preferred, we wedding and he was now having a won- could go out another time, my answer derful time with his new bachelorhood. was, “No, let’s get this done and over I had been living in Israel for two years with.” I let Mom know that I would not and was now home for the summer holi- go out on any more blind dates. days. I was making arrangements to have From the very beginning there was a what I would need shipped to Israel. level of comfort I had never experienced That’s where I planned to spend the rest with another man. Joe didn’t have a car, of my life. and we walked to a local restaurant for It was July of 1980. My mother, may coffee. It was like we had known each she rest in peace, had missed me terribly other all our lives. We met at the end of while I was gone and got it into her head July and we spent as much time together that if I fell in love, I would stay in Toronto. as possible. We had a wonderful time. She used to play cards with all the other The day before I was scheduled to leave, “greenes” at Earl Bales Park and she let Joe told me he loved me and would wait everyone there know the situation. She for me to come back. He gave me a lovely asked their help to find a man for me. I bracelet. He also gave me a letter to read chuckled at the idea of “being peddled in after I left. I was shocked, and answered the park” and indulged her. I had no in- that he was a good guy but my life was tention of staying here, but I couldn’t be in Israel and I wasn’t going to change my with my friends every evening and had plans for a man.

I wasn’t going to change my plans for a man

Shirley and Joe on their wedding day

That evening, at my going away party, During the two years I was in Israel, I all I could think about was Joe’s declara- lived a very simple and pared down life. tion. On the plane, I opened his letter The thought of a formal wedding did which I almost couldn’t read, his hand- not appeal to me at all. I wanted a party writing was so bad. But I did manage to – a celebration that included our closest make most of it out and he reiterated friends and family. When Sara, my older what he had told me. Joe was, and is, the sister, offered her home for a backyard romantic in our relationship. wedding, it seemed perfect. Back in Israel, I realized how much My parents vetoed the idea, feeling that I missed Joe. When I confided in my they could not have a small wedding and dear friend, Sonya, she told me, “You’re exclude some of their friends and “lands- crazy. Israel will always be here for you. men”. After quite a bit of conflict, Sara Joe won’t always be waiting.” Two weeks once again came through for me. She after my return to Israel, I phoned Joe somehow convinced my parents that a and asked him if he wanted me to come backyard wedding could be elegant. home. His answer was, “Go for it.” Looking back, I am shocked at how un- We were engaged on Remembrance involved I was in the planning. I had an Day, about a month after my return. idea of what I wanted, and it didn’t really We have celebrated our 33nd anniver- occur to me until my own sons’ bar mitz- sary and to this day I thank Sonya for her vahs how much effort was involved. My wise advice, and Mom for “peddling me father chose the invitations. Sara, know- in the park”. ing what I wanted, planned the whole wedding, insisting on my approval of all The Wedding the details. The wedding date was July 1, 1981. Continued on next page THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS M May 21, 2015 [ WEDDINGS ETC... ] B27

ing dresses or suits. The guests were either had been called for 7:30 p.m. It was going standing around the chupah or seated at to be a cocktail party. The caterer, realiz- the tables which had been rented for the ing that “greenes” would be there, said older people. that hors d’oeuvres alone would not be The party was My parents led me to the chupah through enough, so we also had two carving sta- intimate, wonderful, the crowd. We had a violinist and accor- tions. We later had a beautiful dessert table dionist play at the wedding and party. I set up in the dining room and, of course, totally spontaneous chuckle at some of the things I remember. unlimited booze. and fun The only guests I didn’t recognize were a The party was intimate, wonderful, close friend of Joe’s who had come in from totally spontaneous and fun. The musi- Ottawa with his fiancée, and the backyard cians roamed, playing different music de- neighbours who were standing on their pending on the crowd. My friends broke deck, drinking beer and watching the cere- into dance on the patio. Later in the even- mony. For me, the ceremony was perfect. ing when my parents and their friends After our required time alone, Joe and I went down to the basement they sang Yid- returned to the crowd. The three speeches dish songs accompanied by the musicians. were made while everyone was still in the There were people in every room of the backyard – my father’s, my brother who house and our guests moved easily from gave the toast to the bride, and of course, room to room, from outside to in, ming- Joe’s. ling, talking and laughing. The last guests After that, the party began. The chupah left after 2 a.m. n Shirley and Joe today

The day dawned dark and gloomy. Joe and figured that between the living room, had to go up to Sara’s house twice to help dining room and basement there would be move the tables and chairs: The first time, enough space. downstairs to the basement because it Our wedding was perfect. The chupah, was raining, the second time, back out on the backyard patio was held by Joe’s to the backyard because it seemed the brother, my brother and Joe’s two closest sun had come out to stay. Including our- friends. Sara was my matron of honour. selves, there would be 100 people there Daphna, my youngest niece was my flower that night. girl. There was no colour scheme and I Sara had accounted for the bad weather didn’t care if the attendants wore match-

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