Don’t Be a Bystander to at Work

• Make bullies aware. Tell the person the This response is many times more intense negative effect on the victim and others. and powerful than the response you would experience from a positive event, • Let bullies know about their bad behav- t’s an unfortunate fact of meaning that even a good work culture ior. If bullies express satisfaction, ask I life—workplaces can some- can be harmed by a few bad apples. flatly, “Are you proud of making someone miserable? Is that something you look for- times be like schoolyard - Abusive Behavior ward to when you wake up?” grounds. There’s an in-crowd, Abusive behavior includes but is not lim- • Give sincere and public for a job an out crowd, cliques, petty ited to: well done. You don’t have be a boss to do squabbling, malicious , this! • Yelling and yes ... and abuse . • Interrupting • Build a positive culture. Use words like • Aggressively or intentionally violating “we” instead of “us” and “them.” personal space Why Stick Your Neck Out? • • Giving the silent treatment Watch your own behavior toward those in • subordinate positions. Lead by example. You’ve seen it—someone doesn’t fit in ... Demeaning comments or gets on the wrong side of the office hot- • Cutting or over-the-top • Recognize everyone’s humanity and en- head ... or makes the “rule-by- • Direct or veiled courage others to do this as well. Bullies ” person angry. • Jokes at the victim’s expense often feel justified abusing underachieving • Gossip employees. Help overachieving bullies rec- No one wants to be the object of hostility, • Backstabbing ognize that poor work performance doesn’t so it’s natural to keep a low profile when it merit abuse. After all, we can’t all be above happens to someone else. Hey, as long as So what can you do? Abusive behavior average—it’s mathematically impossible. the fire isn’t coming your way, why stick primarily comes in two forms—peer-to- Some underachievers are doing their best, your neck out? Right? peer abuse and superior-to-subordinate but are either simply overwhelmed or cast abuse. into the wrong role. Wrong! Here’s why: Because doing noth- • ing means you’re next . Studies show two Abuse from the boss is more common and Go to management. Weigh this option frightening things about abusive work cul- trickier to deal with for obvious reasons, carefully. You may get labeled as a trouble- tures. but there are effective, indirect ways to maker or be set up for retaliation. Be sure to get permission from the victim first. His Don’t Feed the Problem help head off abuse from either peers or superiors: or her wishes should be considered. Not Employees mimic unchecked abusive sure? Talk to the EAP. The professional • behavior . In other words, being a jerk is Offer support to the victim. Ask how will help you decide what to do and contagious. Every time you ignore work- you can help. whether other risks exist in remaining si- lent. place abuse, you increase your odds of be- • Be a deflector. Take the focus off the coming a victim yourself. Or worse, be- victim by changing the subject or mak- coming what you despise: another bully. You don’t have to be Captain America to ing a joke. have a big impact on others. Consistent inter-

Simply observing abuse drives • Head off public bullying in meetings. vention has a cumulative effect on bad be- down productivity. Why? Because wit- Lend your own authority and backing to havior. The more you stand up and do right nessing abuse creates a negative emotional someone who is being attacked unfairly. by others, the more your fellow employees response that saps motivation, drains your will gravitate to your leadership. And as the • energy, and takes your focus away from Let the victim into the inner group. old saying goes, there’s strength in numbers. the work at hand. (This one is huge.) Include them in so- cial activities and water cooler chat. © WorkExcel.com E126