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Issue 03 | March 11, 2013 | critic.co.nz Your Premier Computer Store Specialising in laptop repairs, smartphone repairs and gaming hardware BRING IN YOUR RADIO ONE CARD AND RECEIVE: - 5% o parts & peripherals - 20% o repairs - free pickup & delivery on all repairs (Within Dunedin Area) FIND US ON FACEBOOK! SEARCH ‘GLI RETAIL’ All-round one-stop information technology shop Open 7 days, and late nights on Thursdays & Fridays 2 | fb.com/critictearohi EDITOR Callum Fredric Issue 03 | March 11, 2013 | critic.co.nz DEPUTY & SUB EDITOR Sam McChesney TECHNCIAL EDITOR Sam Clark DESIGNER Dan Blackball FEATURE WRITER Maddy Phillipps 24 NEws TEAM Sam McChesney, Zane Pocock, NEWS FEATURES Claudia Herron, Bella Macdonald SECTION EDITORS 06 | More Details on Hyde St 16 | Two Straight White Males Sam McChesney, Basti Menkes, emerge Talk Politics Baz McDonald, Josef Alton, Sam McChesney asks two hardcore Gus Gawn politicos the hard questions about race, 09 | Crazed Gunman Terrorises envy, and how they formed their beliefs. Wealthy Dunedin Suburb CONTRIBUTORS 20 | The Critic Legal High Greg Hall, Marcus Ellison, Review Matty Stroller, M & G, 10 | Aquinas Loses Critic Matty Stroller tries five legal highs with his Glitter GRRL, Dr. Nick., Privileges devoutly Muslim Pakistani friend. For the Jessica Bromell, Erma Dag, love of journalism. Campbell Ecklein, Lucy Hunter, Jonny Mahon-Heap, Tim Lindsay, 24 | Sequencing the Feminazi Josie Cochrane, Jordan Taylor, Genome Pheobe Harrop, Elisie Stone, Elise Jacombson, Tristan Keillor Maddy Phillipps exposes the rampant groupthink and buzzword usage that characterise Feminazism. But she’s probably just brainwashed by the patriarchy. REGULAR STUFF 06-10 News 12-13 Sports 16-27 Features 28-33 Columns 34-39 Culture AD SALES 10 Tama Walker, Tim Couch, 40-41 Letters Gus Gawn, Josh Hannigan planetmedia.co.nz Critic is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). Disclaimer: the views presented within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of the Editor, Planet Media, or OUSA. Press Council: people with a complaint against a newspaper should [email protected] first complain in writing to the Editor and then, if not satisfied with the response, complain to the Press Council. Complaints should be addressed to the Secretary, PO Box 10-879 The Terrace, Wellington. P.O. Box 1436, Dunedin | (03) 479 5335 | [email protected] | critic.co.nz critic.co.nz | 3 SAVE After some sweet deals on student airfares? Buy your International Student Identity Card from us or if ON STUDENT you’ve got one already bring it in to get exclusive discounts. AIRFARES Escape theNet GET AN ISIC CARD Student Airfares our specialityl No fees 342 George StreetllPh 477 3464 Email [email protected] BEST PRICE! 50 PIECE FLAT PACK 10 x BBQ STEAKS BEST QUALITY 10 x BBQ SAUSAGES 10 x BBQ PATTIES 10 x CHICKEN WINGS $30 10 x FISH CAKES THE ONECARD 40 PIECE BBQ PACK vate 10 x SAUSAGES Bring in your 2013 student ID or Radio r1.co.nz/acti 10 x STEAKS One card and receive a FREE loaf of Bread with your meat pack purchase! 10 x PATTIES Expires 10/3/13 10 x BBQ CHOPS $28 E REE 2013 ONECARD BEFOR ACTIVATE YOUR F O WIN: SUPER BBQ PACK TH AND GO IN THE DRAW T 8 x BBQ STEAKS MARCH 10 10 x BBQ SUASAGES 10 x BBQ PATTIES • A double season pass to Cardrona 1 x GARLIC BREAD $20 • One of every pizza from the Poppa’s menu P 03 455 6042 | F 03 455 6064 | M 027 289 825 | E [email protected] • Over $1000 worth of travel and adventure vouchers from Intercity WO people for all of 2013 • Free entry to Re:Fuel for T • Two student bungy passes from A.J Hackett Wanaka • A skydiving experience from Skydive Lake Another night. Wasted. r1.co.nz/activate Know your limit, think about how much you drink. 03 479 8463 If you would like to talk to someone about your drinking please call or email [email protected] Practice Nurse Chris Griffiths in confidence at Student Health Services CRITIC IS SEEKING AN AD DESIGNER! WORK WITH A GREAT TEAM IN NZ'S PREMIER STUDENT MAGAZINE. UP TO 10 HOURS PAID WORK PER WEEK, WITH FLEXIBLE WORK HOURS. VOLUNTEERS REQUIRED We are seeking volunteers for clinicial comparison studies of market brand-leading drugs alongside generic formulations of GREAT EXPERIENCE, AND A CHANCE TO BUILD UP A those drugs, If you t this criteria; Male or Female, between 18-55 years Have no medical condition Non-Smoker (for at least six months) Not on medication (excluding female contraception pill) Not taken any drugs of abuse All participants will be remunerated PORTFOLIO OF WORK WHILE EARNING SOME CASH. for their time and inconvenience You might know me from around campus, I'm kind of a big deal. Please contact us at: Zenith Technology on 0800 89 82 82, I'm here to talk to you today about an issue close to my heart. As an ex-SPCA cat myself, I know the joy of being or [email protected], adopted and getting taken home. Sadly there are lots of stray cats around Dunners, all of them looking for some- or visit our website at www.zenithtechnology.co.nz where nice to live, for someone kind to take care of them. But if you're a student, and you're leaving at the end of the year, you shouldn't be taking care of stray cats or adopting pets period. A pet is lifetime commitment, not just a to register your interest good laugh for a semester. MUST BE HIGHLY PROFICIENT WITH ADOBE ILLUSTRATOR AND PHOTOSHOP. If you find a stray cat, call the SPCA. And if you do decide to adopt a stray cat, take them to the vet to get sorted out for fleas, worms, and sexy bits. If you're really missing the company of your pet from home, come chill with me for Zenith Technology Corporation LTD a bit. Or head up to the Dunedin SPCA at Opoho and hang out with the cool cats up there. 156 Frederick St ǩ PO Box 1777 ǩDunedin 9054 ǩ New Zealand Oh and kids, stay in school. This advertisement and all studies are approved by an ethics committee accredited by the Health Research Council of New Zealand ® =HQLWK7HFKQRORJ\ǩ(VWDEOLVKHGIRURYHU\HDUVLQWKHȌHOGRIFOLQLFDOVWXGLHV Uncle *Howie SPC DQGDQDO\WLFDOODERUDWRU\VHUYLFHVWRWKHLQWHUQDWLRQDOFRPPXQLW\ O T A A G O SEND YOUR CV, COVER LETTER, AND EXAMPLES OF YOUR WORK TO CRITICCRITIC.CO.NZ EXCHANGE WEEK 18-22 March 2013 OTAGOGLOBAL Monday 1 March 10am-3pm EXCHANGE FAIR The Link, Information Services Building Take the opportunity Tuesday March – Friday March to study overseas as part of your Otago REGION FOCUSED SEMINARS qualification! Room , , See full programme: Scholarships and Grants available! Otago Global Student Exchange www.otago.ac.nz/study/studentexchange OTAGOGLOBAL 4 | fb.com/critictearohi EDITORIAL ear John Key, D You probably don’t know me, John. I’m not like you, you see. I’m not the sort of person you generally hang out with. I’m not a rich, pinstripe suit-wearing banker or a slick corporate lobbyist. I’m just a regular guy, John. The sort of guy your government fucked over with its policies of the last four years. So that’s why I’m writing you this overwrought letter, John. Because I don’t like the direction you’re taking my country. And I don’t like you. You must be wondering why I keep ending sentences with your name, John. You see, in my mind, it indicates that I’m speaking to you in a con- descending, reproving manner. It makes me feel like I’m positioning myself on the moral high ground. It makes me feel assertive and righteous, John. These sorts of letters are a common trope in most western countries, John. Most leaders, including Obama, have to deal with a dozen or so per year. But because there exists a thing called a “Dear John letter”, which Wikipedia defines as “a letter written to a husband or boyfriend by his spouse or significant other to inform him their relationship is over,” I feel even more clever and smug when I write your name, John. And have no illusions about the fact that our relationship is indeed over, John. Despite passionately opposing your party since before you entered Parliament, I totally kept an open mind about your government. But the policies you implemented, such as increasing student loan repayments from 10% to 12%, were worse than I could have imagined. So yes, John, you and I are over. I know you were an investment banker, John. So it’s not surprising that you can only see the bottom line, and not the more subtle human element, of the decisions you make. And that’s why you’re selling our assets, John. Flogging off the family silver that my forefathers took such pride in. Giving it all away to the Chinese. You’re also not keen on the idea of a universal student allowance, are you John? You say it’s “unaffordable”. There’s that trademark focus on the dollar bills again. I could lecture you about “People Before Profit”, John. But you probably wouldn’t listen. So thanks for the wine, John. But no thanks for the policies. And the majority of the nation is going to say a resounding “no thanks” to your government in 2014. Enjoy your last two years in power, John. And enjoy trying to sleep at night knowing what you’ve done to our country.
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