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Lila and Kween and the Turbulent Priest Written by X-22, Based on Characters by Roundersofter

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Lila and Kween and the Turbulent Priest Written by x-22, Based on characters by RounderSofter The glorious sun bathed everything in a copper glow. Fanfare blared over the crowd's reverent silence as the giant doors rumbled, light playing over gold plate as they slowly opened. The marble of the magnificent temple shone like precious metal in the sunlight, from towering spire to tendrils of columned wings fanning out to embrace the immense throng. The rapturous followers were crammed together in the vast plaza. They pushed madly to come closer to the polished platform that cleaved through the crowd. Soon the doors were open and the fanfare died down. Out of the mysterious gloom of the sprawling temple and into the pleasant warmth stepped the Blessed One. Mad cheers went up from the crowd for the High Priestess. Sole custodian of the faith, pinnacle of the temple hierarchy. The faithful worshipped her. Kings bowed to her will. She was fat as only the supreme pontiff of Hunger and Feasting could be, but beautiful. Her girth rivalled her height, but her lilac and pink clothes she wore as if she were the Goddess of Beauty herself. Thick, blue hair fell over her shoulders and elegant robes. The high priestess' bulging hips barely cleared the doorway as she waddled slowly towards the gently sloping stairs down to the marble platform below. Her big eyes surveyed her faithful and her heart swelled at the sight. Lila! Lila! Lila! she imagined them chanting, but the din was incomprehensible. A smile spread across the high priestess' broad features. The adulation seemed as endless as the stairs she descended, but when she finally stepped onto the platform, the cheers still endured. Her hefty arms were already fanned out – she was so fat they could not help but reach out and embrace her ample curves – but as she reached the end of the walkway she spread them further and raised her hands in obeisance to the Goddess. The crowd erupted in even greater ecstasy as they called the Glorious Devourer's name, but the gigantic likeness of her serpentine form was cut from limestone and showed no gratitude. As the roar around her reached a crescendo, the high priestess felt about to leave the ground, surging upwards on her followers' love of her. Her feet remained firm on the ground, however, and before her eyes, the cold statue of the Goddess came to life: Little mammal... Kween scoffed in the high priestess' mind. You are no priestess of mine! Around her, the praise of the crowd evaporated into encroaching bleakness. No one voiced any concern when the limestone naga leaned forward and easily picked up the priestess' helpless corpulence. Just as she disappeared down Kween's gaping maw, Lila the former thief woke with a whimper. Part 1: The Sudden Summer Feast Only the multicoloured light of several elegant Elven paper lanterns brought illumination to the shadowed crevasse, giving the rough stone walls hues of green, orange and red. Down here, the bustle of the temple above was muted, but now the silence was broken by the clattering of cups and plates. "Lentis!" exclaimed Naava Latyiakhtobrochdiaakaliinyani. The Elven enchantress sounded uncharacteristically cheerful – and quite surprised. Down the uneven steps into the enchantress' abode, Landis carefully balanced a tray of tea and cakes. It wasn't easy while also balancing a swaying behind so big and wide she was beginning to have trouble navigating the smaller doorways of the temple. Luckily for the villager and her expanding rear, the important doors in Kween's temple had been designed with even greater circumferences in mind. Her massive butt grazing the crevice wall reminded Landis how big she was. Her bottom half might have gotten the worst of it by far, but now even her maroon waistcoat was becoming really tight across her chest and around her waist. Even if she had not been having lunch with Naava for almost two months now. The fact that she had spent more time in Ligeia's kitchen instead did not cross her mind. No matter how much Landis might have been spilling out of her top, however, the Elven enchantress was still putting her plumpness to shame. With her gut, as soft as the butter she was so fond of, now spilling forth almost to her knees, the elf's cut-open grey dress did nothing more than contain her breasts and barely cover her love handles. Those jutted out over the sides of her sarong and bulged out beyond the rolls of fat on her back, as if they were running out of room to grow. Peeking out from her skirt were thighs so fat and soft a pixie could drown in them. Pushed backwards into plump pillows by her huge gut, the elf sat with her comparatively slender arms draped over her belly, the glow from the lanterns making her pale, doughy flesh look slightly green. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't find any cream for your tea," Landis apologized as she put down the tray on a stack of books on esoteric arts. "Is no problem," Naava assured her and made a half-hearted effort to reach for a cup, then waited for the villager to hand he one. "Ken hev plein." "You sure?" "Look et fet belly," the elf said, grabbing her gut with her free hand. The heft of the quivering mass was so great she could barely lift it with one hand. "Hev hed enough cream for lifetime, yes?" "Don't be silly," Landis smiled kindly. "Here, have some cake..." She picked up a slice for the elf. "...it's two-thirds butter." In her office on the first floor in the east wing of the temple, priestess Lila was poring over pages of accounts. It was terribly boring, she thought, but at least Tarrl the former innkeeper knew how to write legible and easily understood records. The blue-haired ex-thief held up two pages next to each other and compared them with an increasingly puzzled look on her face. Apparently, the expenditures for food had remained almost unchanged over the last two months. It had even declined a little. It was strange, because Lila knew full well that appetites at the temple only grew. Now that she's proved she's not too fat to be useful, Jalinda's probably eating enough to double our food budget on her own, Lila thought and chortled at her own witticism. Not to mention those sirens probably just lying there, having food poured into their mouths and those ravenous mercenaries, eating more than they're fighting. Lila had once decided to get a measuring rope so she might have some semblance of control over her expanding waist. She hadn't, but perhaps she ought to get one for the other temple inhabitants. Of course, the temple did not have as many inhabitants now as two months ago. Perhaps the absence of Aina, the Laguran masseuse, was the cause of the unexpectedly low consumption. Not that the scrawny skank could have put away much food herself, but she certainly did not leave the great Kween wanting anything. Could it be that, without her pet blonde to feed her, it was Kween who was responsible for the decrease? You wouldn't know it from looking at the self-styled goddess, though; She must have at least tripled in girth these last months. Eating massively obese Majari spirits, gigantic sea serpents and giant-sized fairies on a regular basis would do that to you. Still, even if the naga goddess was eating less, she was still too fat to leave her sanctum. Lila had considered recruiting the dwarves of Kargol Garkhelgoukh again and have them wide the exit. It would be a shame to redo the main entrance now that both doors were finally in place, though. Also, it doesn't hurt to know where I have her, the priestess thought wryly. Kween's probably too lazy to bother moving around, anyway. Lila was about to approve the most recent accounts when her aide appeared at the door. Timidly putting her brown-haired head into the doorway, Magora said softly: "Priestess... it's, uh, well... Tarrl wanted me to-" "Look, I'm going through his blasted budgets right now!" Lila interrupted her. "Even the front door's fixed somehow; what more could he want from me??" "He said that..." "I don't care what he says," Lila said sharply. "What I care about right now is that I'm the high priestess and the high priestess wants dinner!" "Right," the aide nodded and scurried away, reappearing a few moments later: "...high priestess." "And then, leading the charge myself, I cut off the heads of three men with one stroke of my sword. Did I tell you about the time I got my blade stuck in an ogre's skull?" With summer approaching, the temple was bustling with activity as the faithful cleared away remnants of the cold winter. Not so in the tower of the sirens, where the five fat bird women were lounging about as the always had. Lounging on a mountain of pillows and pelts, Thelxiepeia was offering a liberally embellished retelling of her participation in the battle for Dunnar two months ago. The elder siren was the second of her sisters to eat herself too fat to get up to her alcove in the tower wall, and since she had been eating enough to spare the others the same fate. Increasingly greedy and overbearing, Thelxiepeia was now devouring almost everything that entered the tower, having browbeaten her sisters into feeding her face.
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