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* 1* Willow Moore BY KRISTA & BECCA RITCHIE * 1 * willow moore Rules: Complete the form by answering each section truthfully. Once you’ve finished, tag other users to complete the task. Begin by sourcing the person who tagged you. If I had real life best friends who enjoyed Tumblr, I’d type their usernames at the bottom. It’s hard finding people with common interests in Caribou, Maine—not that the place is all at fault. I’m to blame, as my father has told me. If you liked more girl things, you’d have more friends, Willow. If you actually went to a party like a normal girl, you’d have more friends, Willow. If you wore more makeup and made an effort, you’d have a boyfriend, Willow. If you stopped watching superhero cartoons, you’d have a boyfriend, Willow. Every girl your age has one. I inhale a deep breath and try to block out the peanut gallery that has nothing nice to say about my friendship circle of two (Maggie and me) and my lack of potential suitors. I just don’t understand why having a boyfriend in high school determines my worth. I feel fine. Until someone points out that I should be miserable. Because I’ve never been kissed. Because I like “boy things” and yes, I have only one real life friend. If I was brazen and loud-spoken, I’d tell my father to fuck off. I’m neither. In fact, I hurt by even thinking what I actually feel. I lick my lips and source the person who tagged me: maggiewidowss “Bye! Have a safe drive home!” The irregularly high-pitched voice emanates from downstairs, soon followed by a door shutting. My mom is being a proper hostess for my little sister’s birthday party. Laughter from six-year-old girls is still audible, parents arriving to pick them up and take them home. I check my clock on my nightstand. 7 p.m. The festivities are almost over. I’d be down there, but Ellie specifically told me, “You’re not a princess, so you can’t come.” I know she didn’t mean it to be spiteful. For every Halloween she can possibly remember, I’ve dressed up as characters from Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. Last year I was Vega: a white- masked, swords-as-claws warrior with straight long hair and purple pants. She thought I was a “girl from a horror movie” when I was really a badass dude from a video game. Ellie sees me more as her overall-wearing, nerdy sister with black-rimmed glasses (blind as a bat) and unraveling braid. She wanted “authentic” princesses at her party, so my mom asked Haley Anderson to dress up as Cinderella. Haley is in my grade. Seventeen and apparently more of a princess than I appear to be. So I’ve been banished upstairs by my six-year-old sister. Yellow rabbit prints still border my bedroom walls, remnants of my nursery and a constant reminder that I’ve outgrown this tiny room. I drown out the rest of the birthday party by popping in my earbuds, and then I slide my old laptop further on my legs. With the voices muffled and iTunes radio playing the top 100 hits, I complete the Tumblr questionnaire, typing out each response. What was your… Last drink: Fizz Life Last phone call: umm, my Grandma Ida. She wanted to crochet me a scarf for next winter and needed to know what color yarn. I told her blue. Last text message: “I bought it! I bought it!” to Maggie, in relation to Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud—I’ve been saving up babysitting money to purchase the comic book. I read ANYTHING that Loren Hale recommends (my comic book sensei), and he suggested this one not long ago on social media. Have you ever… Been cheated on: never gave anyone the chance to Kissed someone and regretted it: never been kissed (don’t judge) Drank hard liquor: a couple times. I didn’t like the taste. Been drunk and thrown up: nope Met someone who changed you: I met Loren Hale once (my only celebrity run-in). He was standing on my front doorstep (long story). Loren Hale left within like five minutes—but he actually spoke to me. He noticed my Mutants & Proud pin, and I mentioned liking X-Men Evolution (the cartoons). Then he made a comment about the comics and Lily Calloway. He called her his girlfriend, but they were and are still engaged if Celebrity Crush is right. It made me think that girls could read comics too—and the way he spoke, he presumed I already did. I never tried to read them until that moment, until he left and I thought yeah, I’m allowed to read these too. I started New X-Men and related so much to Wallflower, a girl I really needed a year ago, when my dad divorced my mom. And I would’ve never read comic books and fallen in love with them if I didn’t meet Loren Hale Fallen out of love: I’ve never fallen in love to fall out of it Found out who your true friends are: this is why I keep my circle small. Maggie is the truest friend there ever could be. Lost glasses: multiple times. My little sis sometimes takes them to be funny. Sex on the first date: …idk maybe I’d do it? Thinking about it makes me nervous… Been arrested: in a nightmare Turned someone down: for what? Like dating? Fallen for a friend: no. I don’t like the guys at my school like that (you wouldn’t either if you were me) More questions… Do you have any pets: my dad hates pets, but when he moved out a year ago, my mom let Ellie get a hamster. It smells really bad What did you do for your last birthday party: ate out at the Noodle House with just my mom, sister and Maggie. I don’t like big parties, especially not ones about me Name something you cannot wait for: A REBOOT OF NEW X-MEN (PLEASE HAPPEN!!! I’LL TAKE ANYTHING!!!) Also, for Maggie to meet Black Widow (aka Scarlet Johansson) one day. What irritates you: being forced to speak up in large crowds Nickname(s): none (I’m not that cool) Relationship status: single Favorite TV show: tie between Gravity Falls & X-Men: Evolution. I love them High School: ready for it to expire College: wish I could go. I’m working on it Hair Color + Length: light brown, straight, and about to my chest? Height: 5’5’’ Your crush: TOM HIDDLESTON!!! (aka Loki) Tattoos: my dad says no Right or left-handed: Right Any surgeries: nothing that serious Any piercings: double lobe piercings on both ears, just four little studs, two bats and two stars Favorite sport: sports? *runs and hides* First vacation: never left Maine before, but when I was really little, we used to go to the coast, about 4+ hours from Caribou, and we went sailing one time. I can’t really remember it, but my mom has pictures. Everyone seems happy Currently… What are you eating: vanilla birthday cake that I made for my sister. I snuck downstairs for a slice & brought it back up What are you drinking: a flat can of Fizz Life What are you waiting for: this birthday party to end Do you want kids: idk I don’t think about that Marriage: I don’t mind either way Career: too soon to tell What do you like… Hugs or kisses: hugs for now Shorter or taller: taller than me. Just by a little works too. Older or younger: older but not too old—I couldn’t do what Daisy Calloway does with her boyfriend, who’s like seven or eight years older (I can’t remember). That’s it for now. I take another deep breath and then tag some of my online friends who’d be interested in this survey thing. My door slowly cracks open, more hallway light flooding into my darkly lit room. I pull off my earbuds and see a little girl dressed in a shimmery yellow gown, a plastic crown set on her curled brown hair. Ellie sheepishly hangs onto the door, which is unlike her—usually her energy consumes every room she bounces into. “Willow?” I slide off the bed, and when I reach her side, I realize that the kids’ laughter from downstairs has been replaced with arguing. “We’re not having this conversation! It’s Ellie’s birthday!” my mom shouts, the familiar octave present only when she’s around my dad. “Her birthday ended twenty minutes ago!” my dad yells. I haven’t seen them endure each other’s presence since the divorce. I invited him to my 17th birthday dinner back in March and he said he wouldn’t come. His exact words: not if your mom is there. Now August, he’s willing to stomach my mom for Ellie—his little bundle of princess joy. I don’t think I ever fit into what he wanted me to be, but I hate that he left in the first place. I hate that he just walked out on my mom and broke my little sister’s heart and tore through their lives, even if he’d already been tearing through mine. He just said, “I can’t live with your mother.” And as a teenager, I’m not privy to the details I guess, but the lack of them has only made hate fester more for him than it has for her.
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