Bars R Essential

JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 1 2 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 THUNDER ROADS LETTER FROM STAFF THE EDITOR

THUNDER ROADS MAGAZINE FLORIDA WELCOME BACK to normalcy, or at least as much P.O. Box 731-506, Ormond Beach, FL 32173 of it as we can expect at this point. 3 months later [email protected] and Florida is back open albeit a few restrictions, but ThunderRoadsFlorida.com people are back out in public, and happy. Bars and restaurants are bustling and everybody I run into is FLORIDA STATE PUBLISHER / OWNER Beth “LuLu” Connors ready to put this Covid nonsense to rest once and for 850-206-6991 / [email protected] all. The quarantine/rest was nice for a while but enough FLORIDA STATE PUBLISHER / OWNER is enough. Since Friday June 5th we have been T. J. Costa 386-852-2815 / [email protected] putting in a lot of time and miles visiting our friends and stopping in to our clients bars and restaurants to share ADVERTISING SALES their excitement at being open for business again. Brevard County Tony Pettinicchi 631-879-7903 / [email protected] So, welcome back to them!! The magazine has been Charlotte County noticeably thinner the last few months because many Doug Lawrence 419-564-4243 / [email protected] Daytona/Flagler/Putnam of our advertisers were closed for Covid and therefore Sherry Fletcher 386-235-3172 / [email protected] did not have a reason to advertise. Several of them Duval/Nassau Counties are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel financially, Beth Connors 850-206-6991 / [email protected] Escambia/Santa Rosa Counties and are back in this issue. Welcome back to them!! Beth Connors 850-206-6991 / [email protected] We anticipate that next month’s issue will be normal Hernando & Pasco Counties size with the last few absent clients returning to our 386-852-2815 / [email protected] Highlands/Hardee & Polk Counties pages with all the info you need to plan your monthly Metric (John Vincent) 863-835-0814 / [email protected] motorcycling activities. Welcome back to them!! Beth Hillsborough and Pinellas Counties TJ Costa 386-852-2815 / [email protected] and I would also like to welcome two new bars to the Lake and Marion Counties Thunder Roads Florida family. Howlin Wolf in Melrose Beth Connors 850-206-6991 / [email protected] and Lit’L Caesar’s Dive Bar in Interlachen, both in Manatee & Sarasota Counties T. J. Costa 386-852-2815 / [email protected] West Putnam County. Both these bars are owned and Marion, Citrus and Levy Counties operated by military vets so let’s go show them some Jason Ingram [email protected] / 720-275-6713 love and appreciation. We had a nice meeting with Martin and Palm Beach Counties TJ Costa 386-852-2815 / [email protected] them both yesterday and first impression is that these Panhandle are good solid people. TJ Costa 386-852-2815 / [email protected] Seminole/Orange County A special shout out to Gator Harley in Leesburg TJ Costa 386-852-2815 / [email protected] celebrating 27 years on July 18th from 10 till 4. Come South Florida Beth Connor 850-206-6991 / [email protected] on out and party! CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS And finally, welcome back to our loyal readers. Without LuLu, Deborah Speicher, Ron Cox, Sherry Fletcher, Phoenix & Metric, you all this would be pointless!! Raven Vanpelt, Bear, Christine Fourman, Dave Twichell, T. J. Costa, Eric Hurd ISB Studios, AJ Costa, Jackman Photos, Tony Pettinicchi, Jeani G., Gator Ken, T-Rex, Scott Peterson, Jan Wideman, Kenneth Tornabene Studio “V” See ya on the road, Photography, Ken Cordes, Crash, Horny Dave, Doug & Michellee Lawrence, Steph Shea and Stormy Hill Harley-Davidson, Pam & Joe Dunn T.J. CONTRIBUTING WRITERS LuLu, Deborah Speicher, Ron Cox, Raven Van Pelt, Sherry Fletcher, T. J. Costa, Tony Pettinicchi, Jeani G., Phoenix & Metric, T-Rex, Horny Dave, Doug Lawrence, Steph Shea, Pam & Joe Dunn, Bear DESIGN & LAYOUT Meredith Hancock art director ~ thunder publishing WEB PLATFORM DEVELOPER Leonard Parker - [email protected]

NATIONAL FOUNDERS Toni McCoy Shearon & Brian Shearon 1528 Matlock Drive / Chapmansboro, TN 37035 Thunder Publishing, LLC Offices: 615-792-0040 e-mail: [email protected] / www.thunderroadsmagazine.com

JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 3

TABLE OF 4 YEARS AND CONTENTS Daytona’sSTILL. Largest GOING. and Most ExcitingSTRONG. Nightclub Loss of a Great Man Ron Martin ...... 6

Pony Tales ...... 8

Bars R Essential ...... 9

Veterans Ride ...... 11

Twisted Tea Sweepstakes Bike 2020 ...... 12

Skin Art ...... 16

Seats & Saddles ...... 21

Motorcycle Friendly Directory ...... 24

Calendar of Events ...... 26

Weekly Secils Joker’s Wild ...... 28 : Tuesdy $4 Drinks & Beers Wedesdy: © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PART OF ITS CONTENT MAY BE REPRODUCED WITH- $100 Bo le Service OUT WRITTEN PERMISSION. PUBLISHER ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY AND IS NOT idy: TO BE HELD LIABLE FOR ERRORS BEYOND THE COST OF THE SPACE OCCUPIED Ladies Night BY THE ERROR, SLANDER OF ANY GROUP OR INDIVIDUAL, FAILURE TO PRODUCE Sturdy: ANY ISSUE AS SCHEDULED DUE TO REASONS BEYOND OUR CONTROL, ANY AND FREE Drinks 9-11pm with $15 Cover ALL SUITS FOR LIABLE, PLAGIARISM, COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT AND UNAUTHOR- . . IZED USE OF A PERSON’S NAME OR PHOTOGRAPH. OPINIONS AND CLAIMS MADE Hy Hour Strts t 3 Every Dy BY ADVERTISERS AND AUTHORS ARE THEIR OWN, AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REP- RESENT THE POLICY OF THUNDER ROADS MAGAZINE OR THUNDER PUBLISHING. $3 Domestics & $4 Wells • Monday-Saturday • 3pm-7pm PUBLISHER DOES NOT PROMOTE THE ABUSE OF ALCOHOL OR OTHER DRUGS.

GoVIP. Call 386.523.0922 Open 7 Days A Week • Mon - Sat: 3pm -3am • Sun: 7pm-3am

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JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 5 Loss of a Great Man Ron Martin By Lulu The biking world is small. I know people from Sturgis to L.A., even France just because of spending time on two wheels. So, it is a surprise that Ron Martin, a fellow publisher, and I have never crossed paths that I know of. I was saddened to hear that on May 21st of 2020 he died suddenly of complications of diabetes. Dear friends of mine LOVED Ron, publisher of Ron Martin’s Souvenir Pocket Guide for the past 25 years. Sherry Fletcher and Willie from Tropical Tattoo have always told stories of Ron and his love of fellow bikers. I hear he was proud of his time in the Navy where he spent time on both the USS Midway and the USS Kitty Hawk. Ron is known for being a patriotic American. His love of the biking world is only surpassed by his love for his family. Ron was a good father to Ronnie and Robin and a loving son to his mom Barbara. His family member Fuzzy is surely missing him…his furry pet child! Another trait that I heard rumors of about Ron is a keen sense of humor and I was told once when a client who had a large dog did him dirty… Ron put a pile of dog doo on the map at the spot where that bar would have been on Main Street. When I heard that I often wished I had that amount of gonads!!! As Ron would say “Ya Baby!” To those of you missing and aching for Ron’s presence here on Earth all I can say is you were lucky to share sands of time with this man, and live a good life so you will see him again on the highways of the stars!

motorcycle mounted miniature urns Ridekeychain urns & pendant urns made by AmericansForever for Americans motorcycle mounts available for multi-urns craig 352-789-4746 / Laura 352-789-4747 9302 spring terrace, Ocala / www.rideforever.org

hours 306 N. State Street (US 1) Mon-Fri Bunnell, FL 32110 9am-6pm MOTORCYCLES PARTS, SERVICE & ACCESSORIES MOST MAKES AND MODELS Serving Flagler County for 39 years FULL-TIME MECHANICS ON DUTY PICK-UP SERVICE AVAILABLE 386-437-7000

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6 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 7 PONY TALES By LuLu

I am going to rant about the rioting and looting. Don’t call it peaceful protest! Sit-ins were peaceful protests. The first person to stand and yell in a cop’s face, spit on them, throw pre-staged bricks and rocks at them, destroy vehicles, burn buildings, steal merchandise was the end of ANY peaceful protest! My nephew is a GOOD SWAT cop in rioting Louisville, Kentucky. I am fearful for him. I understand daily the fear blacks claim to feel for family members. The thug they are marching to honor has a criminal background that included burglary while holding a gun to a pregnant woman’s belly. He still didn’t deserve to be knelt on by a rogue cop until he couldn’t breathe, while his “bad apples” just stood there. But this isn’t the days of the Old Testament…it isn’t an eye for an eye in the U.S.A. and even if it was, as I am writing this, 7 cops have been shot, at least 2 have died, one of them a black cop…do Black Cops Lives not matter? Who the hell are these fools marching and giving cover to looters? Minority business owners still reeling from the coronavirus shut down now have broken windows, missing inventory and in at least one case have lost their lives in the crossfire. Let alone the total cost to our government that is trying to keep people fed while having less income tax to finance it all. I have seen on T.V. a black man in the street begging the looters to stop and to leave his business alone that he had worked his entire life for! If these rioters and protestors think this helps us feel better about their race…they are wrong! All this has done for me is make me reup my NRA membership and want TJ to buy more ammo. I would never sit idly by while people destroy our property over a murder that happened in a city across the country by people I don’t know. I was outraged by the video. I felt the need to address the police brutality on this man. He shouldn’t have died that day. But our country isn’t the problem! Our police across this country are no more the problem, than a bad surgeon who causes the death of a patient makes all doctors the problem. DEFEND THE POLICE! We should be the Red, White, and Blue line standing between the protestors and our police for God’s sake. If the police quit all we will have is THUGS and our GUNS. Help the small businesses that have been so hurt by the coronavirus shut down, be kind to all races despite the insanity and pray for this country.

Lisa Hawkins agent who rides! Sandi Hageman agent

Motorcycle-Auto-Boat-Home-Commercial offering HoMe & Auto insurAnCe too call for a quote 1702 Ridgewood Ave, Unit H Riviera Plaza Holly Hill 386-310-8702 www.hollyhillinsurance.com

8 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 BARS R ESSENTIAL

By Lulu Since mid-March, bars that do not serve food have been closed…bar owners and staff have held their breath with each passing week hoping for a reprieve by Governor Ron DeSantis. Bills mounting, staff without pay, and until June 3rd no word out of Tallahassee. It was beginning to seem like Ron had forgotten about the bars while restaurants were serving alcohol to the masses and gyms were allowing members to resume their normal lives. I wrote to Ron myself saying I would rather sit on a barstool next to people who I considered to be more like family than just friends, than pass strangers in the grocery store! So, Patty Miracle and Frank Scott from the Daytona Beach radio station Rock of Daytona organized a protest ride mid-May to raise awareness that Bars R Essential too! The livelihood of many including the 55,000 bartenders in Florida!!! Thankfully today the Governor announced on June 5th the bars can open at 50% occupancy as we move into Phase II. So please get out and visit our ad clients… tip generously…realize what a strain emotionally and financially this has been to our friends in the business for much longer than the rest of us.

JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 9 10 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 Veterans Ride By Lulu Despite the corona virus, motorcyclists met up at The Dog House in Port Orange and took the roadways to remember veterans and their sacrifices. Stops included Fox Head in Osteen, The Inn Between on a beautiful piece of tree covered property in Deland and OB’s in Deland. They then headed back to The Dog House for an after party. It was a great turn out for veterans with over a hundred bikes and a beautiful day to be riding.

JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 11 Twisted Tea Sweepstakes Bike 2020 “Ya gotta be in it to win it!”

Each year Twisted Tea builds a custom bike organizing stuff, throwing old crap away pretty successful in the amount of views our that they giveaway to thank all the loyal that kind of thing. Oh, and lots of video weekly digital broadcasts get but the stay at Tea drinkers that have made the brand so conferencing with the home office since home has taken it up a notch. popular. We caught up with Bill Grotto their they’re on work from home as well. TR: Cycle Source had a virtual bike rally “man on the street” at the motorcycle rallies Normally planning for the next string of bike a few weeks ago so tell us about that. and Chris Callen of Cycle Source via Zoom events would be on this list but right now it’s to get the low down. unclear. CC: Back in April we’d all only been on the stay at home for a few weeks and we’re TR: Hey guys what’s been happening TR: How about you Chris? hearing from all sorts of ppl how they lately? CC: Over at Cycle Source we’ve been just missed seeing their friends and weren’t BG: Hey Beth! Not much I’ll tell you as busy and even busier with the stay at sure when they’d see them again since the that! With all the spring and summer home. With rallies dropping like dominoes future of rallies was so uncertain. So, the motorcycle rallies cancelled I’ve been at we realized we wouldn’t be getting in front idea was simple; create all the sights and home in Florida staying busy with things of ppl anytime soon, so we ramped up our sounds of a motorcycle rally and bring it to that I never get a chance to do since I’m digital efforts in a major way. We’d been the people digitally in the comfort of their always traveling. Equipment maintenance, own homes. We had a bike show, a bikini contest, a wet t-shirt contest and several bands played all set up from their garages; we just clicked a button and put them on air when it was their time to be a part of the show. We even had everyone’s favorite rally bartenders telling us what it’s like to be a rally performer and making drinks to boot. BG: Yeah, the sights and sounds were awesome I’m glad you weren’t able to re- create the smells!! (laughter) TR: That is a really cool idea how was it received? CC: It was a huge success- so much to the point that we’ve added a weekly virtual bike BUILT BY night every Thursday where we follow the same model; we have live entertainment, garage tours from the viewers who want to join in and we even have a cooking with Tea segment with Billy. People can check it out on our Facebook page or our YouTube channel. TR: Really? What’s that about? BG: I enjoy cooking and baking because I was a cook in the Navy, so I’ve been doing more of it now that I’m home. We have some cool recipes for Twisted Tea, so I figured what the hell they do it on the Today Show right??!! TR: Now tell us about the Twisted Tea Sweepstakes Bike

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. SWEEPSTAKES OPEN TO U.S. LEGAL RESIDENTS OF ANY LEGAL U.S. STATE WHO ARE 21 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER. ONE (1) GRAND PRIZE – WINNER WILL RECEIVE A CUSTOM MOTORCYCLE WITH AN APPROXIMATE RETAIL VALUE (“ARV”) - $8,000.00. THE BG: We’ve done a sweepstakes bike for DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ANY STATED VALUE AND ACTUAL VALUE WILL NOT BE AWARDED TO WINNER. SWEEPSTAKES FOR OFFICIAL BEGINS RULES AT AND 12:01 PRIZE A.M. DETAILS EST ON PLEASE 3/1/2020 VISIT AND WWW.TWISTEDTEA.COM ENDS AT 11:59 P.M. EST OR ON HAND-PRINT 11/15/2020. YOUR PRIZE NAME WINNER AND COMPLETEWILL BE SELECTED ADDRESS IN ON A RANDOM A 3” X 5” DRAWING CARD AND ON MAIL OR AROUNDTO: TWISTED TEA® 11/16/2020. TO ENTER TEXT “TEADOZER” TO SHORTCODETEXT 24587“HELP” OR FOR VISIT HELP. HTTP://WWW.TEADOZERSWEEPS.COM “STOP” TO CANCEL. (“WEBSITE”) AND FOLLOW THE ONLINE INSTRUCTIONS TO ENTER FOR A CHANCE TO WIN. STANDARD TEXT RATES MAY APPLY; CHECK YOUR WIRELESS PLAN. UPON ENTRY, YOU WILL RECEIVE ONE CONFIRMATION MESSAGE. TEXT “HELP” FOR HELP. “STOP” TO CANCEL. FOR OFFICIAL RULES AND PRIZE DETAILS677208-1851433 PLEASE VISIT WWW.TWISTEDTEA.COM OR HAND-PRINT YOUR NAME AND COMPLETE ADDRESS ON A 3” X 5” CARD AND MAIL TO: TWISTED TEA® the past 5 years. The first 2 (a 71 Shovel BIKE OF YOUR DREAMS SWEEPSTAKES OFFICIAL RULES REQUEST, 300 WEST VINE ST, BOX 802, LEXINGTON,CONTAINS KY 40507, ALCOHOL. DURING THE SWEEPSTAKES PERIOD. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED. © 2020 TWISTED TEA BREWING COMPANY, CINCINNATI, OH. PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY. 12 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 Head and an ’05 ultra-classic) were pretty much stock bikes with Twisted tea paint scheme and pin striping by Dave “Letterfly” Knoderer. In 2017 with Cycle Source acting as the general contractor so to speak, we got together with several builders to build a one of a kind custom build which was the Tea Chopper. It really set the stage for what was to come because the bike was unbelievable. In 2017 we did a flat track called the Tea Tracker, in 2019 we did a chollos inspired low rider called the Tea Low Rider They looked tough kinda like Mack and this year’s bike is a bobber style bar truck or a bulldozer. hopper kinda like an Exile because I’ve TR: Is that how you came up with the always like that style. name Tea-Dozer? TR: You guys always bring the bike TR: Wow that’s so cool I didn’t realize CC/BG: There was nothing else more fitting around to the different rallies so how you’ve done that many bikes. Who especially when the bike was done- it really fits. can people see it or enter to win it? comes up with the inspiration for the CC: The primary builder this year was BG: Yeah that’s another casualty of the different builds? Flat Broke Chops and Rods which is Mark COVD-19 pandemic. Since we aren’t able CC: Usually when Sturgis is over and we’re Persichetti and me. It started out as us just to bring the bike to the rallies, we’ve been all still out there, Billy, myself, Heather and wrenching on bikes because I’ve known Mark promoting it on social media, print and any whoever happens to be left standing go to a forever and it just built from there. We call it way we can really. If anyone wants to enter place called Pizza Ranch and get a bunch Flat Broke because we’ll never get rich doing to win the bike, and it’s totally free to do this, of fried chicken and talk about what would it, but we love it and that’s all that counts! visit twistedtea.com, or cyclesource.com be a cool bike to take on. It’s that simple; no and enter. Another way is to text the word (Laughter) board room no bullshit just people who love “TEADOZER” to 24587 and you’ll get a link motorcycles wanting to build a kick ass bike TR: What made this bike so special? on your phone that prompts you through to give to the Tea fans People were totally digging it when you entering. did the reveals in Daytona during Bike TR: Wait a minute, you go to the Pizza TR: Wow that’s cool that Twisted Tea Week. Ranch for fried chicken? does this for the drinkers and bikers CC: I’d say the biggest thing was probably Yup…it’s a kind of a best kept secret BG: It’s the least we can do to thank them BG: the tank where we took 3.5-gallon fat bobs that’s not really a secret for those “in the for being our customers, plus I get to and split them down to make a rubber know”. It’s a pizza buffet and the pizza is ride it at rallies…Come to think of it there mount chopper tank. That and the rear great but they also have a cafeteria style goes another thing I can’t do thanks to the fender struts came out really nice. buffet and the main thing is fried chicken- pandemic…damn it! BG: Yes, all that plus Curt Green from it’s killer! I always loved the look of the TR: Well thanks a lot you guys and we’ll Barebones leather did the seat and Casey Exile bikes; squatty stance, stripped down, see you on the road before too long- If not @ The Paint Chop did the pinstriping again internal components, big fat tire on the front. we’ll be seeing you online which was really cool.

JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 13 BUILT BY

14 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 Why limit HAPPY to just one hour? doesti bee 222 ALWAYS A PARTY B ta bos o 0 AT BAY 3 BAR

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16 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 DOING THE RIGHT THING. THE RIGHT WAY. ALL THE TIME.

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www.teamcone.net JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 17 Great destination ride from Daytona, St. Augustine and Ocala!!!

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18 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 19

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20 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 SEATS & Saddles

JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 21

MOTORCYCLE FRIENDLY DIRECTORY Look for Thunder Roads Magazine Florida in our Biker Friendly Locations and Please Support our Advertisers!!

MOTORCYCLE FRIENDLY DIRECTORY SPONSORED BY ... Rue & Ziffra, P.A.

Apparel BREVARD COUNTY O’Calahan’s Pub & Eatery Boot Hill Saloon 3155 E. Silver Springs Blvd., Ocala 310 Main St., Daytona Beach Let’s Ride Motorcycle Gear American Legion Post 81 352-351-5458 386-258-9506 & Accessories 2909 South Harbor City Blvd. Tiltedkilt.com/ocala boothillsaloon.com 7422 State Rd. 52, Hudson Melbourne 727-815-1900 321-723-2939 NASSAU COUNTY Cabbage Patch Bar Letsridegear.com americanlegionpost81florida.org 549 Tomoka Farms Rd., Samsula Cruzin Eddies Bar on the River 386-427-8969 Attorneys American Legion Post 359 85001 US Hwy.17, Yulee cabbagepatchbar.com 7260 S. US 1, Titusville, 904-583-6501 Dennis Hernandez & Asso., P.A. 321-268-1632 Chris Lounge 3339 W Kennedy Blvd. Lou’s Blues Bar & Grill PASCO COUNTY 1301 Ridgewood Ave., Holly Hill Tampa, FL 33609 3191 N. Hwy. A1A, Indialantic 386-672-1281 (813) 250-0000 321-779-2299 Little Corona’s Cigar Lounge Dennishernandez.com 6324 Grand Blvd., New Port Richey Dale’s Ales COLUMBIA COUNTY 727-494-7659 2400 N. Volusia Ave., Orange City 790 N. Orange Ave. Littlecoronacigarlounge.com 386-218-4450 Orlando, FL 32801 R Bar Dalesalesbar.com (407) 608-0000 723 East Duval St., Lake City PUTNAM COUNTY 386-288-1092 First Turn Steakhouse & Lounge 1400 4th Ave. W. 3-D Saloon 5236 S. Ridgewood Ave. (US 1) Bradenton, FL 34205 DUVAL COUNTY 101 S. 10th St., Palatka Port Orange (941) 210-0000 386-530-2282 386-788-5434 Chopper’s Bar & Grill Facebook 3-D Saloon FIRSTTURNSTEAKHOUSE.COM 5363 Central Ave. 12905 N. Main St., Jacksonville St. Petersburg, FL 33710 904-236-0877 Bobby G’s River Pub Italian Grille Grandview Live Gentleman’s Club (727) 697-0000 1148 CR 309 640 N. Grandview Ave., Crescent City Daytona Beach 5304 South Florida Ave., Suite 401 FLAGLER COUNTY 386-467-8666 386-523-0922 Lakeland, FL 33813 Riverpubitaliangrill.com Grandviewlive.com (863) 888-0000 Crossroads Tavern 111 North State St., Bunnell Hermit’s Cove Marina Main Street Station Rue & Ziffra, P.A. 386-313-1444 Beautiful waterfront sunsets! 316 Main Street, Daytona Beach 640 Dunlawton Ave., Port Orange Crossroadstavern.net 482 Cove Dr., Satsuma 386-214-1389 1-800-JUSTICE 386-649-4251 Mainstreetlive.com RUEZIFFRA.COM Ike’s Saloon 801 S. State St., Bunnell Lit’L Caesar’s Dive Bar OB’s Restaurant & Lounge 101 N. Woodland Blvd., Deland 386-313-6742 906 FL 20 1750 N. Hwy 17, Deland 386-734-5900 Interlachen 386-943-9600 HIGHLAND 386-684-6822 FB OB’s Restaurant & Lounge 4879 Palm Coast Parkway NW #1 Facebook Lit’LCasears Dive Bar 386-439-0249 Dutchers Diner Old Glenwood Tavern 1012 W. Main St., Avon Park Long’s Log Cabin 2542 N. Spring Garden Ave. New Smyrna Beach 863-453-8824 699 3rd Ave., Welaka DeLand 800-526-4711 Main Street Tap Room 386-603-5040 Find us at 205 W. Main St., Avon Park Facebook Old Glenwood Tavern Audio Systems 863-453-3056 Renegades on the River 1171 CR 309, Crescent City Rudy’s Bar & Grill Volks Audio LAKE COUNTY 386-524-4052 1130 Ridgewood Ave., Holly Hill 1220 E. Industrial Dr., Orange City Renegadesontheriver.com 386-265-0486 386-804-2979 Blackwater Inn 55716 Front St., Astor The Howlin’ Wolf Saints & Sinners 352-759-2802 1701 FL 100 Destination Daytona Bars & Restaurants blackwaterinn.com Melrose 1635 N US 1, Ormond Beach 352-473-6800 386-671-7108 BRADFORD COUNTY MARION COUNTY Facebook The Howlin Wolf The Boat Bar The Downtown Grill Eaton’s Beach Sand Bar VOLUSIA COUNTY 5395 S. Ridgewood Ave. 301 E. Call St., Starke & Steam Shack Port Orange 904-964-9253 15790 SE 134th Ave., Weirsdale Bay 3 Bar 386-333-9909 thedowntowngrill.dudaone.com 352-259-2444 2810 N. Dixie Freeway eatonsbeach.com New Smyrna Beach 386-957-3745

24 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 MOTORCYCLE FRIENDLY DIRECTORY Look for Thunder Roads Magazine Florida in our Biker Friendly Locations and Please Support our Advertisers!!

MOTORCYCLE FRIENDLY DIRECTORY SPONSORED BY ... Rue & Ziffra, P.A.

Campgrounds / RV Memorial Urns Stormy Hill Harley Davidson Independent Motorcycle Repair 2480 S. Hwy 27, Clermont 747 Fleet Financial Ct., Longwood 352-243-7111 Ride Forever [email protected] Holiday Travel RV Park StormyHillHarley.com 2261 South Old Dixie Hwy 9302 Spring Terrace Ocala 407-618-9725 (I-95 Exit 278), Bunnell, FL 32110 Craig 352-789-4746 Laura 352-789-4747 Treasure Coast Harley-Davidson 386-437-4454 J&P Cycles Superstore 4967 SE Federal Hwy., Stuart RIDEFOREVER.ORG Destination Daytona [email protected] 772-287-3871 253 Destination Daytona Ln. www.HolidayTravelRVpark.com Treasurecoasthd.com Motorcycle Sales / Service Ormond Beach Rental & Gear 800-318-4823 - jpcycles.com Renegades on the River Tri City Cycles RV Sites/Cabins 306 N. State St. (US 1), Bunnell Midwest Motorcycles 1171 CR 309, Crescent City Adamec Harley-Davidson 386-437-7000 444 N. Beach St. 386-524-4179 BAYMEADOWS TriCityCycles.com 8909 Baymeadows Rd. Daytona Beach Renegadesontheriver.com 386-257-6265 904-493-1931 Twisted Evolution Motorcycle Midwestmotorcyclesdaytona.com Cigars ORANGE PARK Shoppe 1520 Wells Rd., 904-215-1931 212 N. Main St., Bushnell Miracle City Harley-Davidson REGENCY 352-617-5224 Little Corona’s Cigar Lounge 2540 S. Washington Ave. TwistedEvolutionShoppe.com 6324 Grand Blvd., New Port Richey 10399 Atlantic Blvd., 904-641-3735 Titusville, 727-494-7659 ST. AUGUSTINE 321-269-5226 Motorcycle Towing Littlecoronacigarlounge.com 118 St. George St., 904-825-0544 Adamec Harley-Davidson St. Peterson’s Harley-Davidson Distributors Augustine 380 Outlet Mall Blvd. South Moto-Tow Inc. adamecharley.com 19825 S. Dixie Hwy, Miami 800-TOW-A-BIKE Daytona 386-492-0000 Cone Distributing, Inc. 305-235-4023 500 NW 27th Ave., Ocala Bert’s Barracuda petersonsharley.com Ft. Lauderdale 954-280-5677 352-732-4111 Harley-Davidson Orlando 407-592-3242 Teamcone.net 10525 49th St. N, Pinellas Park Peterson’s Harley-Davidson Tampa 727-643-8214 Guided Boat Tours 727-527-9672 of Miami Bertsbaracuda.com 19400 N W 2nd Ave., Miami Seats 305-651-4811 St. John’s River Tours petersonsharley.com 44716 Front St., Astor Bruce Rossmeyer’s Ultimate Seats USA 866-349-0674 Daytona Harley-Davidson 348 Destination Daytona Lane Daytona Beach 510 Main St. Seminole Harley-Davidson Ormond Beach StJohnsRiverTour.com 620 Hickman Circle, Sanford Ormond Beach 1637 N US 1 877-672-0288 407-329-1212 New Smyrna 1899 SR 44 ultimateseats.com Insurance SeminoleHarley.com 386-671-7100 Tattoo Artists H&H Insurance LLC Brucerossmeyer.com Space Coast Harley-Davidson Lisa Hawkins & Sandi Hageman Agents 1440 Sportsman Lane NE 1702 Ridgewood Ave., Unit H Gator Harley Davidson Palm Bay Tropical Tattoo Riviera Plaza Holly Hill 1745 US Hwy 441, Leesburg 321-259-1311 825 S. Yonge St., Ormond Beach 386-310-8702 352-787-8050 SpaceCoastHarley.com 386-672-1888 Hollyhillinsurance.com GatorHarley.com TROPICALTATTOO.COM

biker owned & operated 1012 W. Main St. Where good friends meet! Avon Park FL 33825 FridAy 9PM kArAoke SAturdAy 9PM Live MuSic 8 beers on tap full liquor bar package sales available Catering & Private Parties Bike Nights Open Daily 6am-3pm last Wednesdays 7pm 863-45DUTCH Main Street tap rooM John Dutcher owner 453-8824 205 W. Main St. ~ Avon Park FL ~ 863-453-3056 email [email protected]

JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 25 FLORIDA EVENTS Submit your calendar events to [email protected] by the 15th of the month prior to your event

POKER RUN FOR LOCAL BARS SUPPORT-KEYSTONE JULY 18 (Saturday) FLORIDA EVENTS HEIGHTS, Smithfield Lake Watering Hole, 11a GATOR H-D 27TH ANNIVERSARY PARTY-LEESBURG, Gator H-D JULY 8 (Wednesday) 1745 US Hwy 441, band TBA, Back Draft Grill & Bar hosted by CALENDAR 2020 Lake Co Firefighters Charity, vendors, One Blood Drive 9a-4p, OB’s BIKE NIGHT-DELAND, OB’s, 1750 N. Woodland Blvd., GatorHarley.com, 352-787-8050 6p-til, live music, food special $5, dom buckets $12, 75 cent Due to the coronavirus calamity please call to check events with TH wings, 386-943-9600 4 ANNIVERSARY PARTY LAMA JAX BEACH-JACKSONVILLE the venue as many listed may be canceled BEACH, Pure Powersports, 7531 Salisbury Rd, food, music, bike games JUNE 27 (Saturday) JULY 9 (Thursday) JULY 19 (Sunday) DAYTONA CARS & COFFEE-ORMOND BEACH, Bruce Rossmeyer’s OLD GLENWOOD TAVERN BIKE NIGHT-DELAND, Old Glenwood Daytona H-D, US 1, car show, free coffee provided by Destin 2 Shine Tavern, 2542 N. Spring Garden Ave., food special, $11 buckets, $3 Twisted Tea, music OPEN JAM WITH SAM-ORMOND BEACH, Saints & Sinners, Cafe, vendor and sponsor opportunity available, brucerossmeyer.com, 1-5p, all musicians welcome 386-671-7100 JULY 10 (Friday) MYSTERY RIDE-PORT ORANGE, The Boat Bar, 5395 S. FOOD DRIVE-LEESBURG, Gator H-D, 1745 US Hwy 441, 9a-4p, BIKE NIGHT AT DALE’S ALES-ORANGE CITY, Dale’s Ales, 2400 Ridgewood Ave., 10am, $10 includes lunch and 50/50 entry, Lake Cares Food Pantry, Music by Hannah Wilson 11a-3p, food 850-206-6991 truck complimentary beer, GatorHarley.com, 352-787-8050 N Volusia, $10 domestic buckets, $13 premium buckets JULY 22 (Wednesday) JUNE 28 (Sunday) JULY 11 (Saturday)

ND DYNO SHOOT-CLERMONT, Stormy Hill H-D, 2480 S Hwy 27, 10a- OB’s BIKE NIGHT-DELAND, OB’s, 1750 N. Woodland Blvd., 6p-til, 2 AMERICANA CUSTOM BIKE SHOW-DELAND, OB’s, 1750 N. live music, food special $5, dom buckets $12, 386-943-9600 Woodland Blvd., Reg onsite 9-11am or online www.JOTFORM. 2p, $25 entry winner takes all, second place gets Stormy Hill gift card, food and beer, StormyHillHarley.com, 352-243-7111 com/OBS1750/BIKESHOW2020, party starts at noon, 10 JULY 23 (Thursday) categories Best in Show wins $1000 sponsored by Rue & Ziffra, People’s Choice featured in Thunder Roads Florida Magazine, POKER RUN FOR CHRIS BALSAM-BUNNELL, Crossroad Tavern, 111 N. State St., Reg 9a, KSU 10a, $20 and $10 for OLD GLENWOOD TAVERN BIKE NIGHT-DELAND, Old Glenwood Bikini contest $1000 sponsored by sign up by KOBRIEN2257@ Tavern, 2542 N. Spring Garden Ave., food special, $11 buckets, gmail.com, 386-943-9600 passenger, Chris has lung cancer with no insurance she needs are help, stops include Iron Horse, Circus Bar II, Dirty Harrys, $3 Twisted Tea, music Beachfront Grille, Ike’s, live music, 50/50, raffles, silent and live JULY auction JULY 24 (Friday) JULY 1 (Wednesday) JULY 12 (Sunday) BIKE NIGHT AT DALE’S ALES-ORANGE CITY, Dale’s Ales, 2400 N Volusia, $10 domestic buckets, $13 premium buckets OB’s BIKE NIGHT-DELAND, OB’s, 1750 N. Woodland Blvd., SUPER SWAP CAR & MOTORCYCLE SWAP MEET-ORMOND 6p-til, live music, food special $5, dom buckets $12, 75 cent BEACH, Bruce Rossmeyer’s H-D, US 1, $10 18x30 vendor spot, JULY 25 (Saturday) wings, 386-943-9600 shoppers free, 8a-2p, brucerossmeyer.com, 386-671-7100 20TH ANNUAL USMVMC SEBRING-AVON PARK, 75 North Olivia Dr., JULY 2 (Thursday) VETERANS SUICIDE PREVENTION AND 2ND AMENDMENT Join the U.S. Military Vets MC in celebrating their 20th Charter year RALLY-FLEMING ISLAND, Island Girl Cigar Bar, 1560 Business in Highlands County Florida. This is open to the public and the party KARAOKE WITH BOB-NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Bay 3 Bar, 2810 Center Dr., Reg 8-10a, KSU 10a, stops include AL Post 250, begins at 1200 ending at 1600 (noon-4p). Enjoy the ride in have some N. Dixie Freeway, 6-10p, 386-957-3745 Howlin Wolf, VFW Post 3349, Boogerville Hideout Bar, all chow and support the USMVMC Sebring FL Chapter. $10 vehicles welcome, Food or snacks at all stops, guest speakers, STORMY HILL H-D SHOWROOM PICNIC-CLERMONT, Stormy OLD GLENWOOD TAVERN BIKE NIGHT-DELAND, Old Glenwood live music by Curt Towne and Big Engine Hill H-D, 2480 S. Hwy 27, 11a-3p, free food, beer, cornhole Tavern, 2542 N. Spring Garden Ave., food special, $11 buckets, tourney, door prizes, 352-243-7111, StormyHillHarley.com $3 Twisted Tea, music OPEN JAM WITH SAM-ORMOND BEACH, Saints & Sinners, 11a- 3p, all musicians welcome JULY 26 (Sunday) JULY 3 (Friday) POKER RUN FOR BROOKLYN-DAYTONA, Mark’s Sports Pub, OPEN JAM WITH SAM-ORMOND BEACH, Saints & Sinners, BIKE NIGHT AT DALE’S ALES-ORANGE CITY, Dale’s Ales, 2400 KSU 11:30a, $15 per hand, stops include Iron Horse, Frank’s Place, 1-5p, all musicians welcome N Volusia, $10 domestic buckets, $13 premium buckets Rudy’s and First Turn with music by Megan Stuart Duo POKER RUN FOR BABY ROWAN-DELAND, Reg 9:30a, KSU JULY 4 (Saturday) JULY 15 (Wednesday) 10:30a, $15 rider/$5 pass or extra hands, to raise money for upcoming surgeries, West run OBs, Nice & Easy, Wise Guys, TH 4 CELEBRATION-ORMOND BEACH, Bruce Rossmeyer’s OB’s BIKE NIGHT-DELAND, OB’s, 1750 N. Woodland Blvd., Swamp House Grill and OBs for BBQ, East run Franks Place, Daytona H-D, US 1 & I95, Independence Day Ride starts 6p-til, live music, food special $5, dom buckets $12, 75 cent Seaside Tavern, Hanky Panky’s, Metz Lounge and OBs, live at 10am, Live Wire Test Ride, Hot Dogs, Beer, Live music, wings, 386-943-9600 music by Tribucon, all vehicles welcome BruceRossmeyer.com JULY 16 (Thursday) JULY 29 (Wednesday) 4th CELEBRATION-DELAND, OB’s, 1750 N. Woodland, concert with Tribucon & Crashrocket, Fireworks Spectacular, 386-943-9600 KARAOKE WITH BOB-NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Bay 3 Bar, 2810 N. OB’s BIKE NIGHT-DELAND, OB’s, 1750 N. Woodland Blvd., 6p-til, Dixie Freeway, 6-10p, 386-957-3745 live music, food special $5, dom buckets $12, 386-943-9600 OCALAHAN’S BIKE NIGHT-OCALA, Ocalahan’s, 3155 Silver OLD GLENWOOD TAVERN BIKE NIGHT-DELAND, Old Glenwood MAIN STREET TAP ROOM BIKE NIGHT-AVON PARK, Main Street Tap Springs Blvd., live music by 4 Play, 6-10p, 352-351-5458 Room, 205 W. Main St., music, food, fun 50/50 7p-til, 863-453-3056 th Tavern, 2542 N. Spring Garden Ave., food special, $11 buckets, 4 CELEBRATION-PORT ORANGE, The Boat Bar, 5395 S. $3 Twisted Tea, music Ridgewood Ave., 2-6p, 386-333-9909 JULY 30 (Thursday) JULY 17 (Friday) JULY 5 (Sunday) KARAOKE WITH BOB-NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Bay 3 Bar, 2810 BIKE NIGHT AT DALE’S ALES-ORANGE CITY, Dale’s Ales, 2400 N. Dixie Freeway, 6-10p, 386-957-3745 OPEN JAM WITH SAM-ORMOND BEACH, Saints & Sinners, N Volusia, $10 domestic buckets, $13 premium buckets 1-5p, all musicians welcome OLD GLENWOOD TAVERN BIKE NIGHT-DELAND, Old Glenwood Tavern, 2542 N. Spring Garden Ave., food special, $11 buckets, $3 Twisted Tea, music CALENDAR SPONSORED BY Dennis Hernandez & Associates, P.A. 26 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 CALENDAR 2020 We recommend you confirm dates before making your riding plans.

JULY 31 (Friday) DECEMBER SEPTEMBER 11-13 THUNDER IN THE SMOKIES RALLY- BIKE NIGHT AT DALE’S ALES-ORANGE CITY, Dale’s Ales, 2400 DECEMBER 3-10 (Thursday-Thursday) MAGGIE VALLEY, NORTH CAROLINA N Volusia, $10 domestic buckets, $13 premium buckets ST SEPTEMBER 16-20 AUGUST 21 ANNUAL HIGH SEAS RALLY-TAMPA GOLDEN ASPEN MOTORCYCLE RALLY- RUIDOSO, NEW MEXICO DECEMBER 5 (Saturday) AUGUST 1 (Saturday) SEPTEMBER 17-20 PLANT CITY BIKE FEST-PLANT CITY OCALAHAN’S BIKE NIGHT-OCALA, Ocalahan’s, 3155 Silver DELMARVA BIKE WEEK- SALISBURY, MARYLAND Springs Blvd., live music Raging Woody, 6-10p, 352-351-5458 2021 SEPTEMBER 18-20 SEPTEMBER FEBRUARY TRIKEFEST-ORMOND BEACH, FLORIDA SEPTEMBER 5 (Saturday) FEBRUARY 19-21 SEPTEMBER 19 TRAIL OF TEARS MOTORCYCLE OCALAHAN’S BIKE NIGHT-OCALA, Ocalahan’s, 3155 Silver THUNDER BY THE BAY-SARASOTA RIDE-BRIDGEPORT, ALABAMA Springs Blvd., live music, 6-10p, 352-351-5458 APRIL SEPTEMBER 23-26 SEPTEMBER 6 (Sunday) BIKES, BLUES, BBQ MOTORCYCLE RALLY- FAYETTEVILLE, ARKANSAS APRIL 28-MAY 2 ANGEL FLIGHT RUN-ORMOND BEACH, Beaver Bar, US 1, Reg 9a, stops include Cheyenne Saloon, Renegade’s on the River, SEPTEMBER 24-27 THUNDER BEACH SPRING RALLY-PANAMA CITY BEACH OB’s, and ends for party at Dirty Harry’s sponsored by Rue & STREET VIBRATIONS FALL RALLY- Ziffra, PA RENO, NEVADA SEPTEMBER 27 SEPTEMBER 18-20 (Friday-Sunday) OYSTER RUN RALLY-ANACORTES, NATIONAL EVENTS WASHINGTON TRIKEFEST-ORMOND BEACH, Bruce Rossmeyer’s Daytona H-D JULY SEPTEMBER 28-OCTOBER 4 MYRTLE BEACH FALL RALLY- OCTOBER JULY 2-4 MURRELLS INLET, SOUTH CAROLINA ABATE FREEDOM RALLY-ALGONA, IOWA OCTOBER 3 (Saturday) OCTOBER 1-4 JULY 13-19 LAS VEGAS BIKEFEST- PLANT CITY BIKE FEST-PLANT CITY MYRTLE BEACH RALLY-MURRELLS I LAS VEGAS, NEVADA NLET, SOUTH CAROLINA OCTOBER 9-11(Friday-Sunday) OCTOBER 15-18 BIKETOBERFEST- JULY 10-12 DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA COTEE RIVER BIKE FEST-COTEE RIVER AMA VINTAGE MOTORCYCLE DAYS-LEXINGTON, OHIO OCTOBER 15-18 (Thursday-Sunday) OCTOBER 21-25 JULY 16-18 THUNDER BEACH FALL RALLY- MUSKEGON BIKE TIME-MUSKEGON, MICHIGAN PANAMA CITY BEACH, FLORIDA BIKETOBERFEST-DAYTONA BEACH JULY 16-20 ABATE BOOGIE-SPRINGVILLE, NOVEMBER 5-8 OCTOBER 21-25 (Wednesday-Sunday) INDIANA ROSCOE’S CHILI CHALLENGE-

TH LAKELAND, FLORIDA 20 FALL THUNDER BEACH RALLY-PANAMA CITY BEACH, JULY 16-19 10/22 Foghat, 10/23 Colt Ford, 10/24 38 Special, bike shows, 3 BEARTOOTH RALLY-RED LODGE, NOVEMBER 5-8 poker runs, Sgt. Kevin Kight Memorial Parade, Hooligan races, MONTANA LONE STAR RALLY- Tattoo Contest, vendors GALVESTON, TEXAS AUGUST 7-16 NOVEMBER 80th STURGIS MOTORCYCLE RALLY- NOVEMBER 13-15 LEESBURG FALL BIKE FEST- STURGIS, SOUTH DAKOTA NOVEMBER 5-8 (Thursday-Sunday) LEESBURG, FLORIDA AUGUST 21-22 ROSCOE’S CHILI CHALLENGE-LAKELAND NOVEMBER 18-22 STEEL HORSE RALLY-FORT SMITH, BERT’S ST. PETE BEACH BIKEFEST- ARKANSAS NOVEMBER 13-15 (Friday-Sunday) ST. PETE BEACH, FLORIDA AUGUST 21-23 LEESBURG FALL BIKE FESTIVAL-LEESBURG SALUTE TO AMERICAN VETERANS RALLY- CRIPPLE CREEK, COLORADO NOVEMBER 18-22 (Wednesday-Sunday) 2021 SEPTEMBER 4-7 KORY SOUZA ORIGINALS PEOPLE’S CHOICE THUNDER IN THE ROCKIES- APRIL 28-MAY 2 BIKE SHOW-ST. PETE LOVELAND, COLORADO THUNDER BEACH SPRING RALLY- PANAMA CITY BEACH, FLORIDA BERT’S ST. PETE BIKE FEST-ST. PETE BEACH SEPTEMBER 5-8 ROAR TO THE SHORE WILDWOOD RALLY- JUNE 10-13 WILDWOOD, NEW JERSEY ROT RALLY-AUSTIN, TEXAS

CALENDAR SPONSORED BY Dennis Hernandez & Associates, P.A. JULY 2020 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | 27 A Scotsman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call Bartender: “That’s one I don’t know”. “Why?” on his cell. He hangs up the call and immediately orders a round Guy: “Remove the ring and your house is gone! of drinks for the entire bar, as he proudly announced his wife has just given birth to a handsome and up to par Scottish boy After having their 10th child, an Alabama couple decided that was weighing in at 25 pounds. A passenger in a taxi heading enough,for Tampa as they Airport could not affordGearHead a larger bed, returns so 10 was home the limit.a day early from Sturgis as Everyone applauds and yells outwhen their congratulationshe leaned over comments to ask theThe driver husband a questionwent to his Veterinarianhis bike and broke told him down that he and and he caught a lift just inside and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his of town, and then grabbed a cab. but all are in awe that a newly bornattention. baby can weigh in at 25 his cousin didn’t want no more It’schildren. after The midnight. Doc told him that pounds! The driver screamed, lost controlthere of was the a fixcab, called nearly a vasectomy, While but on it hiswas waymighty home, expensive. he asksA the cabby if he The proud Father just shrugs, “That’shit a bus,about droveaverage up up overour way, the curbless andcostly stopped way, said thejust Doc, waswould to go be home, a witness. get a cherry The bomb man suspects his wife is folks....like I said, my boy’s a typicalinches Highland from babya large boy.” plate-glass (fireworks window. are still legal in Alabama),having light an it, affair, put it inand a beer he wantscan, to catch her in the Two weeks later than man returnsFor to a the few bar. moments The Bartender everything says, then was hold silent the canin theup to cab. his ear act. and count to 10. The Alabammy “Hey, you’re the Father of that typicalThen, Scottish the shaking baby that driver weighed said, man“Are told you the o.k.? Doc, “II’m aint so the sharpestFor $100 tool bucks,in the shed, the but cabby I don’ agrees.t sorry, but you scared the living daylights out of me.” Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip 25 pounds at birth, aren’t you? TheEverybody’s badly beenshaken making passenger bets apologizedsee how putting to thea cherry bombtoe in a intobeer thecan nextbedroom. to my ear is about how big he’d be in two weeks,driver so and how said,much does“I didn’t your boyrealize going that to afix mere me.” tap on GearHead switches on the lights, yanks the blanket weigh now?” the shoulder would startle someone“Just trust so me,”badly.” says the Doc. Soback the manand goesthere home, is his lit awife, cherry in bed with another man, The Scotsman proudly replies, “17The pounds.” driver replied, “No, no, I’mbomb the andone puts who it in should a beer can,just holds as the he can suspected! up to his ear and The Bartender is puzzled and a apologize,tad concerned. it’s “What entirely happened? my fault. begins Today to count:is my “1, very 2, 3, 4, 5, GearHead puts his gun to the naked man’s head. He was 25 pounds the day he wasfirst born. day You driving announced a cab. it right I’ve beenAt which driving point ahe hearse paused, for placed The the wife beer shouts,can between his legs the past 25 years.” ‘Don’t do it! I lied when I told you I inherited here!” as he resumed counting on his moneyother hand. from my Aunt Sarah. The Scottish man took a slow swigMildred, from his the Johnny small Walker town gossip*This and procedure self-appointed also works in ArkansasHE paid & for Oklahoma. the Audi I gave you on our Anniversary. whiskey, wipes his lips on his shirtmonitor sleeve, ofleans church into the morals, Bartender, was always one to stick HE paid for our new cabin cruiser. gives him a wink, grins and proudlyher repliesnose withinto aother twinkle people’s in his business.A much older Most gentleman mem- was hangingHE paid out for at hisyour local season gym when tickets. eye, ‘we had him circumcised.” bers of the congregation did nothe spottedapprove a sweet of her young thangHE waling paid in...... He for our leaned house in andat the lake. intrusions, but she was fearedwhispered due to her to a lethalTrainer standingHE next paid to him, for “Whatyour machineAfrican tour with your biker forked tongue, so everyone maintained their si- buddies and your new ATV. An attractive woman seated herselflence. in the very posh Psychologist’s should I use to impress that youngHE paidlady over for there?”.the custom The Trainer rims for your Ultra-Glide. office. “Now then Miss, what bringsShe tookyou here that today?” fatal the step Doctor too farlooked one atday, the whenman up she and down,HE then paid directly for ourin his Family eyes and WaterWorld membership asked. accused “Lightning”, a biker, andreplied, new “Sir, member I would highlyof recommendAnd, HE the even ATM paysin the lobby.”the monthly dues on the kid’s “Well, I, uh,” she stammered. “Ithe think, Church, umm, that of Ibeing might bean a alcoholic after she saw his Private schooling. nymphomaniac.” old Chevy pickup parked in frontI asked of themy brothersmall town’swhy he looked Shaking so bummed? his head from side-to-side, GearHead low- “I see”, replies the Doctor. “ I canonly help bar you, all but morning I need to andadvise late intoHe said the he night. was all Sheexcited to goers on his 1stgun. date He with looks this chick totally he confused over at the emphatically told Lightning in front of the entire you that my fee is $150. an hour.” met online that told him ‘she wascabby bi.” and says, congregation that “Everyone seeing that pickup ‘What the hell would you do? “That’s a little steep,” she replies,there “how wouldmuch would know that what be for he all wasHe doing”. said after Fact a few was, hours in he realizedThe cabby she actually never meant skips bi-polar. a beat and replies, ‘I’d cover night?” Lightning had volunteered to help Gus, the bar his ass with that blanket before he catches a damn owner, repair a leaky ceiling inBubba the kitchen. with his 380 But auto, Gus enters cold.’ his neighborhood bar, holds the A man and a woman were travelingwas on not a train. a member of the congregationgun straight soabove nothing his head and yells out, “Whoever the hell had Woman to the man: Every time wasyou smile brought at me, to I feellight. like inviting sex with my wife is fittin’ to get“Putter” shot!” he andsnarled. all his golfing buddies are standing on Lightning, a man of few words but plenty of action, the green while he’s got a very important shot to you to my place. stared at her for a solid minute,The then Bartender, just gotJoe, isup trying to wincalm the him gamedown when that’s someone not over 15 feet to the hole; Man: Oh, gosh....! Are you single?and left the church. He said nothing.from the back of the bar yells out,straight “Settle in. your ass down Bubba, Woman: No, not that…..I’m a Dentist.Later that early morning; aroundyou aint1:00 got a.m., enough Light bullets!”- “Handicap” yells out, “come on, already, Putter, we ning parked his pickup directly in front of Mildred’s all want to finish up and grab a drink”. Guy in a bar who’s been cut-off,house, wagers awalked bet with home,the Bartender. and left Twoit there women all sitting night in longa bar afterPutter work enjoyingreplies aback, much neededalthough in a hushed tone, “If you can’t tell me the answer andI get lateanother into drink.” the “Deal”lunch sayshour. Happy Hour. “don’t bust my balls here huh? My wife’s up on the Club’s veranda watching us and I want to the Bartender. Things That Make You Go Hmmmm??They’re getting happier by the getdrink, it when right”. the Handicapone says, ‘What’s yells back, Guy: “Why is a wife like a handWhy grenade?” does your OB-GYN leave the worst room thing when your you husband’s “Nah, ever said forget while aboutyou were it, having that’s way too far off, you’ll get undressed, only to sit downsex?” in frontNever ofmissing you a beat thenever other replies, hit her “Hey from darlin’, here”. I’m and see all you got to see in plainhome!” view, when they return to the room? One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a 28 | ThunderRoadsFlorida.com | JULY 2020 cemetery plot as a birthday gift If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift. a song about him? When she asked me why, I replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool last year!” lane? Hello! Some people are so dense.

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