Abandoned Chariots

Raegan Linster

“Dad, look out behind you!” Eros yelled, right as my back was pierced with a shortsword. Foolish mistake. I whirled around, a twister of elegance and glinting armour, and impaled my enemy in the neck with my spear. The young man began to gurgle, flailing and holding onto his neck in an attempt to detach himself from my blade, with no such luck. My side felt a small tickle, and I looked over to see Harmonia, my daughter, taking hold of the sword still embedded in my ribs. She gave a small tug, and it slid right out, dripping a luminescent, sticky gold liquid- ichor, the blood of the gods. I turned back to the fledgling still pathetically attempting to escape, and raised him up to eye level. He opened his mouth to speak, but only sprayed blood, a disgusting scarlet mess that splattered all over my helmet. “Next time, know who you are fighting first. Stabbing a god? Not the best idea.” I smiled grimly, soaking up the man’s evident agony. Then, in one quick movement, I shook him from my spear. His body hit the ground with a dull thud. He twitched a few more times, then finally lay still. I took off my helmet and wiped the blood from my face. It’s a good thing I chose to wear the red plume today- if my white one had gotten dirty, I would have been ticked. Harmonia tossed the man’s shortsword next to his body, putting a hand on her hip. “You always have to make such a mess, Ares. Why do you need revenge for every little thing?” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. If I weren’t mistaken, she looked almost sad. “Harm, you saw what he did. He stabbed me! And beyond that, in the back! Where’s the honor?” “Where’s the honor in torturing and killing him immediately after he does so? Don’t you ever get tired of all this bloodshed? This isn’t what I signed up for.” Heat began to rise in my cheeks. I clenched

Oracle 2019-2020 25 my fist, and Eros grabbed my arm, noticing my warning signs. “I think we all just need to take a beat here. And, no more messing with Hades. He’ll just keep finding more people with vendettas to come after you. Even if they are human, it’s not worth it.” Harmonia narrowed her eyes, clearly unsatisfied. “Whatever. Until Ares gets a hold on his anger, I’m done.” She snapped her fingers, and was gone. Just like that. “What’s her problem today? Think she’s close to her time of the century?” I laughed, but Eros did not join me. Instead, he looked very sober, which was completely unlike his usual comical, silky Cupid self. Eros sighed, and grabbed his bow from a nearby rock. His heart-shaped arrows rattled in their quiver as he bent down. “She has a point, Dad. You can’t just kill every person who slightly inconveniences you. It doesn’t matter who you are- god of war or other, that doesn’t give you the right to treat everyone else like they are expendable.” My jaw dropped. I couldn’t help it, it was just too unbelievable what I was hearing. Eros awkwardly stepped over the body still lying on the ground, and half-hugged me. “Listen. I love you, and I always will, but I’m with Harm on this. You gotta make some changes. I’m tired of standing up for you, just to end up in yet another fight. Let us know when you change your mind.” And just like that, he, too, was gone. Both of my children, abandoning me in my greatest time of need. I had never felt more betrayed. Anger filled me once again. It felt like an ocean churning inside me, getting ready to consume me. Steam began to pipe out of my ears. Yes, I mean that literally. It’s not like I needed them anyways. I’m the freaking god of war. I don’t need anyone else but me. But still, I had to admit, some small part of me was hurt by it. I didn’t understand. They’d never seemed bothered by my lifestyle before. Why now? Was there really something so wrong with loving revenge and a good beatdown? Still stewing over all this, I poofed! back to Mount Olympus. Or, so I thought. I knew I was in the wrong place the moment I opened my eyes to approximately thirteen homemade spears pointed at my face. The tips were arrowhead rocks with dull points, but when used with enough force they do the job. And frankly, I was not up for another tickle-fest of my midsection. “Well, this is certainly not Mount Olympus. Oops.” The people holding the spears semi-threateningly jumped when I spoke. Upon taking a closer look, I saw that they all possessed lovely tanned skin, long dark hair, and many shades of colorful paint streaks along their faces.

Oracle 2019-2020 26 Though I was entertained by this new crowd, all I wanted was to go back home and beat up some of my servants until Eros and Harmonia came back to their senses. I tried to snap! my fingers together once again, as is the usual teleportation method back above the clouds, but nothing happened. “Damn Hera,” I muttered cursedly. My evil stepmother was the only reason anyone was ever locked out of Olympus, and clearly she was up to some sort of game again, of which I was in no mood for. Right at that moment, I again remembered that I was currently surrounded by a group of weapon-wielding people. As I looked around once again at my audience, they all tightened their grips on their spears, looking uneasy yet angry. Since I was stuck for the time being, I supposed I had better try and defuse the situation. To show them that I meant no harm (at the current moment), I tried to raise my hands in a peace offering. For a god of war, this was an extremely generous gesture. The warrior people did not seem to agree so much. An especially large man to the right of me poked my shoulder with the tip of his spear, and to my great shock, it stung. I glanced at my arm to see that he had successfully cut me, and instead of my normal golden ichor streaming out, there was bright red blood, the color of freshly picked strawberries. “What the- how did you-?” “ARUGULA!” The man cut me off, yelling savagely. “ARUGULA! ARUGULA! ARUGULA!” All of the others followed the man’s cry, chanting incessantly and pumping their spears in the air. For a split second, I was completely disoriented, until I realized that they were not yelling about the English term arugula, meaning the disgusting leafy green. They were speaking another language. I searched through my godly brain’s database tirelessly until I finally found the right translation: “SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE!” Uh oh. That was not good. Especially since for some unknown reason, I was bleeding like any regular old human. “You sit on ancestors’ sacred ground, forbidden to all but the great elder, I!” The big man spoke up, prodding me again with his weapon. “Ouch! Would you watch where you poke that thing!” I rubbed my arm, where there were now two open cuts. How did humans deal with this? “You trespass on sacred ground, you become sacrifice.” There was a collective “oooh” from the

Oracle 2019-2020 27 rest of the group after the man, apparently the ‘great elder’, said this. “SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE!” Suddenly, the warriors stopped their chant and began closing in. Two dozen hands grabbed at me and began to tie me up. I tried to fight, but there were too many of them, and my godly strength was seemingly nowhere to be found. Oh, gods, what had Hera gotten me into? Now let me tell you, hanging upside down from a pole by your hands and feet is about the least comfortable position in the world, no exaggeration necessary. I felt like a sloth that had accidentally glued himself to a branch. At some point during my hanging out, all the blood must have rushed to my head and caused me to pass out. Because when I came to, we were suddenly at the top of a freaking volcano, and my leg hairs had sizzled off from my proximity to the lava. This was definitely not my day. The great elder was seated criss-cross applesauce a few yards away from me. When he saw I was awake, he pointed towards me. “Trespass on sacred ground, need sacrifice to appease ancestors!” Now, I totally understand the whole sacrifice thing. People make sacrifices to me often, hoping I’ll destroy their enemies (or that annoying in-law no one likes). Most of the time I don’t help them, but this is besides the point- sacrificing me, Ares god of war, because I “trespassed” on some dumb holy ground? That was just plain ridiculous. It was totally ungrounded (no pun intended), and didn’t make sense. My life didn’t need to be sacrificed just because I had upset their ancestors. I didn’t even do anything wrong except teleport to the wrong place! There was no justice in this! “Hey, uh, Great and Powerful Elder sir, do you really need to sacrifice me?” I tried to smile nicely at the man, but as I was looking at him upside down, I probably looked more like an idiot than anything else. “YES. You trespass. Now you pay!” He clapped his hands together, and two of the warriors grabbed my pole from where it was perched between two rocks, moving me closer to the edge. My face felt like it could melt off at any second, the heat was so intense. Suddenly, the possibility of dying, actually dying, became very real to me. And all because I walked across the wrong plot of land. This was preposterous! “No! No, please stop! I didn’t mean to trespass! It was an accident!” I begged, but the Great Elder held no pity in his eyes. “No matter. You need to pay.”

Oracle 2019-2020 28 “No, I swear I didn’t mean to. You don’t have to kill me because of one small thing! I know I do that to a lot of other people, and I shouldn’t but I just get so angry! And I need to work on that, and I will, if you just let me live! Let me make amends with my children, and only kill people when they truly deserve it!” I had not meant to go on a rant, but I was in such desperation I couldn’t help it. I was losing it. I looked over to the Great Elder again with tears in my eyes. His expression was stone, except for a small twitch of his lip. And again. Odd. It kept twitching, until something so disturbing happened that I won’t share all the gory details. Basically, Mr. Great Elder transformed into Hera, my meddling step-mom. “I knew you had something to do with this!” I groaned, but the relief I felt was unexplainable. Hera began to strut towards me, her trademark smirk stretched across her meddling face. The other warrior people watched her fearfully, before they all began to make a run for it, except for the two who were still holding me up. The dizziness was almost too much for me now. This whole upside down thing was not good for the head, or the back, or really anything else. When I finally began to pay attention once again, I thought I saw my children Eros and Harmonia standing there, but obviously I must have been on the verge of passing out again. I shook my head, which turned out to be a very poor decision because it actually made me feel even more nauseous. And, when I looked up again, Eros and Harm were still standing there. They were still standing there! My children were the ones holding up my pole, in fact, and they had been disguised just as Hera had! Wow, I am quite the detective. Harmonia looked down at me with her eyes narrowed, and must have seen that I was somehow holding onto my consciousness. She glanced at Eros, nodded slightly, and they both dropped me like a sack of potatoes (of which I was much more valuable and tender than, thank you very much). My back hit the stone with a great thud, and I grunted in pain. In order to not die right there on the spot, I sprawled out, trying to catch my breath and regain some sort of composure. “Kids.” I managed to huff out. They both bent over to me, their two heads like floating balloons above my vision. Eros looked rather concerned, his mouth set in a frown and eyebrows scrunched together. Harmonia, on the other hand, was as placid as ever.

Oracle 2019-2020 29 “Hey, Dad…” Eros began before Harmonia cut him off. “Did you learn your flipping lesson?” She dragged me to my feet, quite literally, and much to my dismay. I nodded slowly, still shaking off the fuzz from my recently calcified brain. “Yes, I suppose I have. No more killing people for mere inconveniences.” “And?” “No more provoking Hades, because that only brings bad things. I might even just take a small hiatus from all fighting.” As I rubbed my arm cuts, I actually felt some honesty behind the words I had just spoken. My entire campaign today and near-death experience scared me more than I knew a god could be spooked. If not fighting for a few years meant no more warrior people trying to sacrifice me to a volcano, then I would gladly do it, no extra incentive needed. I wrapped my arms around Eros and Harmonia and pulled them close. “I, uh, I’m sorry, kids. I probably have been going a little too far with the tortures and killing over the last few decades. I’ll try to work on it.” This made Eros bring out his award-winning grin. “Thanks, Dad, that really means a lot.” Harmonia said nothing, but the air around her felt slightly less tense, and that was a win for me. Someone cleared their throat, and I looked up, realizing that Hera was still here also. Before she even had a chance to speak, I pointed at her over Harmonia’s shoulder. “Don’t you even start. I don’t want to hear it. Let’s go, kids.” We began to walk the other way as Hera piped up a protest, undoubtedly wanting to take her usual claim of being the best mettling step-mom in the entire universe. Eros turned and shot her in the behind with one of his arrows. That really shut her up (no, but seriously).

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