The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why Be Human When You Could Be a Manager? Pdf

FREE THE LITTLE BOOK OF MANAGEMENT BOLLOCKS: WHY BE HUMAN WHEN YOU COULD BE A MANAGER? PDF

I thinking planning is absolutely necessary if you want to avoid disaster. But anyone who thinks they can predict exactly what will happen over the life of a project, exactly how much it will cost and how long it will take is some bizarre hybrid of a lunatic and a liar. He used the term to describe cyberspace. Which allows for some cool descriptions of pseudo-physical interactions with data. For ease of understanding, everyone treats this abstract concept as a concrete reality. Life is full of consensual hallucinations. If you live in a democracy, you tend to believe you have a say in what happens in your life. The consensual hallucination of participatory democracy is more comforting. In fact, pretty much any political or religious belief system is a consensual hallucination. Which is not to say that they are by definition untrue. Believe in your magic friend in the sky all you like. Who needs empirical evidence when banding together with other believers makes the consensual hallucination feel true? But we put our faith in the idea that someone smarter than us got it right. Which gets me back to project management, specifically, how it applies in the world of IT. The consensual hallucination that permeates nearly all of IT is that the magic pixie dust of project management can reveal The Truth. In the broadest possible sense, this is true. If you have enough experience you can probably do better than a wild-arsed guess. IT people like logical. But The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager? someone gets the project management religion, they think they can be precise. Business people like precise. But some people are completely fucking insane when it comes to this topic. Some people believe Project Management should tell you these things down to the day and the dollar. A project plan should tell you every task that needs to be completed. A project plan should be flawless and leave nothing to chance. And a project plan should be completed before ANY work is done on the project. OK, take a fucking pill, man. That is straight up insanity. Planning, or at least goal setting, at some level is obviously important. So how do we escape the consensual hallucination that there is a way to do project management that is absolutely foolproof and provides definitive answers? Well, I propose we kill all the consultants. Just throw the fuckers up against the wall and shoot them. How about we tone it down a bit. We could staple their tongues to their chins. How about we all sit down to a big three-course serving of reality? This can save many packed lunches of pain and misery. They make it clear that they think the lack of an answer comes from laziness or evasiveness. Worse still, managers often insist on being given an answer even when they know the answer is wrong. So long as everyone understands an estimate is just that: an estimate. You learn as you go along and discover more detail. So you revise the estimate accordingly. For this to work, everyone involved has to listen, everyone has to be open, everyone has to be responsive. So what are you going to be? A jerk who worships at the altar of whatever project management methodology is flavour of the month? Or a realist who can accept that things change and all projects can be unpredictable? Your decision makes a big difference. Filed under Work. I might have to print a t-shirt with some of this on it and wear it around the office. I think it was someone like George Washington, but my knowledge of quotable american revolutionaries is a bit lacking. Not always what they wanted to hear. A project manager can do some very useful things. The most important for me is to act as a shit filter; that is, to stop the customer shit which blasts through the fan from hitting the programmers. Then there are things that programmers need done to get work done and a good PM handles these things. I hate being a Project Manager because you have to rely on other people to do their jobs and more often than not they let me down. Wynand: I absolutely agree that a good manager is invaluable. Cinnkitty: A big bureaucracy like Lucent would be a nightmare. And I agree with you about relying on others being stressful. And the worker is automatically on the defensive if it goes over the estimate. How are you managing, then? Go read it already! Thanks for the post. They chose to have me as a project manager in one of my past lives. If I had had your post then, it would have saved so much time. I thought it was just me losing my mind. Pingback: Friday File - 27 July, This is a great article. Should be published on PMI site. All budding and would be managers or damagers should read it at the start. I am yet to see competency in this field. For some reason, I tend to think of them as secretaries and I call them to meetings just so they can take down notes and schedule follow-up meetings, and do a little bit of call-coordination. In the USA in the 19th Century people I understand that people with no legitimate means of making a living used to travel from town to town with bags made of old carpet filled with yellowish liquid. Today, project managers turn up on IT projects and say they can apply the same tried and tested techniques used to produce the last 15 widgets made on the production line to a complex project involving the equivalent of millions of components never integrated before, and produce it on budget, on time, to quality and scope. The years of experience gathered by the technical people who make the project work is simply not relevant to success. IMHO they sell very expensive snake oil to CEOs and dump large amounts of smelly stuff on people who actually know something about technical stuff and the business. Planning is required. Anyone with half a brain knows that without needing to think about it. The result is often either nervous breakdown amongst techies, project failure or The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager? combination of both. But somehow the rate of that never seems to be recorded. JAYT and Monish — could not agree more. Linux on Oracle. These dumbasses make as much, if not more than the very sharp and smart techies in our group. Talk about a recession. Very amusing. Or perhaps you, like all IT workers are a terrible communicator, too involved in your own misguided feelings of superiority to even chance communicating with your team, your management etc. Rest assured if that fucked up attitude is what you radiate at work every single person you work with is plotting ways to kill you. And I hope they succeed soon you worthless fucking cunt. I must say any PM without previous tech hand-on experience is simply a babysitter to the techies. But it does work. Then it can work. LOL, I typed project management is bullshit into google out of frustration and your article came up. We use agil. The best use for it seems to me to be a way to cut down on all the stuff the business wants into managable chunksie. So, we have a schedule, timeline and deliverables at each juncture. For this I am thankful for them, even if they have zero The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager? skills and are constantly pushing for times and dates when a lot of the time, there is no way to predict this. At least they keep track of things. Project management may be boring, but it really does help, and also allows for people just to track their estimates regularly and stop massive The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager? times to some degree. In all honesty I totally get the comments in this article. Where development or new systems are involved its a totally different story. Personally I think the answer lies in The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager? governance over the programme office. Wherby the techies actually ok the buisness cases before they proceed. Sex Pistols - Wikipedia

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The Sex Pistols were an English punk rock band that formed in London in Although their initial career lasted just two and a half years, they are regarded as one of the most groundbreaking acts in the history of popular music. They were responsible for initiating the punk movement in the United Kingdom and inspiring many later punk and alternative rock musicians. Their fashion and hairstyles have been credited as a significant influence on punk imageand they are often associated with anarchism within music. Matlock was replaced by Sid Vicious in early Under the management of Malcolm McLarenthe band attracted controversies that both captivated and appalled Britain. Through an obscenity-laced television interview in December and their May single " God Save the Queen ", attacking Britons' social conformity and deference to the Crown, they precipitated the punk rock movement. It was banned not only by the BBC but also by nearly every independent radio station, making it the "most heavily censored record in British history". In Januaryat the end of their over-hyped and turbulent tour of the United States, Rotten announced the band's break-up. Vicious died of a heroin overdose in Februaryfollowing his arrest for the alleged murder of his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen. Rotten, Jones, Cook and Matlock briefly reunited for a concert tour in The Sex Pistols have been recognised as an influence on various genres, including grungeindiethrash metal and rap. On 24 Februarythe Sex Pistols—the four original members plus Vicious—were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Famebut they refused to attend the ceremony, calling the museum "a piss stain". According to a later account by Jones, both he and Cook played on instruments they had stolen. It had been renamed in to focus on another revival trend, the 50's rocker look associated with Marlon Brando. Effectively agreeing, McLaren paid for their first formal rehearsal space. Glen Matlock The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager?, an art student who occasionally worked at 'Too Fast to Live, Too Young to Die', was recruited as the band's regular bassist. The group had been rehearsing regularly, overseen by McLaren's friend Bernard Rhodesand had performed publicly for the first time. Soon after McLaren's return, Nightingale was kicked out of the band and The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager?, uncomfortable as frontman, took The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager? guitar duties. When those plans fell through, McLaren, Rhodes and the band began looking locally for a new member to assume the lead vocal duties. I thought he had a really interesting face. I liked his look. John had something special, but when he started talking he was a real arsehole— but smart. Though the performance drove the band members to laughter, McLaren convinced them to start rehearsing with Lydon. Early Seventies Britain was a very depressing place. It was completely run-down, there was trash on the streets, total unemployment—just about everybody was on strike. Everybody was brought up with an education system that told you point blank that if you came from the wrong side of the tracks Out of that came pretentious moi and the Sex Pistols and then a whole bunch of copycat wankers after us. That has to go,'" Lydon later explained. Cook, who had a full-time job he was loath to give up, was making noises about quitting. According to Matlock's later description, Cook "created a smokescreen" by claiming Jones was not skilled enough to be the band's sole guitarist. Not older than Not worse looking than Johnny Thunders " referring to a leading member of the New York punk scene. Jones was improving rapidly, however, and the band's developing sound had no room for the technical lead work at which New was adept. He departed after a month. Lydon had been rechristened "Johnny Rotten" by Jones, apparently because of his bad dental hygiene. Not given to modesty, false or otherwise, he added: "[I] launched the idea in the form of a band of kids who could be perceived as being bad. Their first The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager? was arranged by Matlock, who was studying at Saint Martins College. The band played at the school on 6 November[35] in support of a pub rock group called Bazooka Joearranging to use their amps and drums. Before the Pistols could play the few original songs they had written to date, Bazooka Joe pulled the plugs as they saw their gear being trashed. A brief physical altercation between members of the two bands took place on stage. The Saint Martins gig was followed by other performances at colleges and art schools around London. The Sex Pistols' core group of followers—including Siouxsie SiouxSteven Severin and Billy Idolwho eventually formed bands of their own, as well as Jordan and Soo Catwoman —came to be known as the Bromley Contingentafter the suburban borough several were from. They were both captivated by the May radical uprising in Parisparticularly by the ideology and agitations of the Situationistsas well as the anarchist thought of Buenaventura Durruti and others. These interests were shared with Jamie Reidan old friend of McLaren who began producing publicity material for the Sex Pistols in the spring of The first Sex Pistols gig to attract broader attention was as a supporting act for Eddie and the Hot Rodsa leading pub rock group, at the Marquee on 12 February The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager? Rotten "was now really pushing the barriers of performance, walking off stage, sitting with the audience, throwing Jordan across the dance floor and chucking chairs around, before smashing some of Eddie and the Hot Rods' gear. We're into chaos. After chatting with McLaren at Sex, they saw the band at a couple of late February gigs. The The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager? were soon playing other important venues, debuting at Oxford Street 's Club on 30 March. The pub rock group's lead singer, Joe Strummersaw the Pistols for the first time that night—and recognised punk rock as the future. Westwood provided that by instigating a fight with another audience member; McLaren and Rotten were soon involved in the melee. I think everybody was ready to go and we were the catalyst. On 23 April, as well, the debut album by the leading punk rock band in the New York scene, the Ramoneswas released. Though it is regarded as seminal to the The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager? of punk The Little Book of Management Bollocks: Why be Human When You Could be a Manager? in England and elsewhere, Lydon has repeatedly rejected any suggestion that it influenced the Sex Pistols: "[The Ramones] were all long-haired and of no interest to me. I didn't like their image, what they stood for, or anything about them"; [54] "They were hilarious but you can only go so far with 'duh-dur-dur-duh'. I've heard it. Move on. On 4 and 6 July, respectively, two newly formed London punk rock acts, the Clash —with Strummer as lead vocalist—and the Damnedmade their live debuts opening for the Sex Pistols. On their off night in between, the Pistols despite Lydon's later professed disdain showed up for a Ramones gig at Dingwallslike virtually everyone else at the heart of the London punk scene. According to Jon Savage, "there seems little doubt that Lydon was fed material by Vivienne Westwood and Jamie Reid, which he then converted into his own lyric. Scheduled to perform just one song, "Anarchy in the U. The Bromley Contingent made the trip and Siouxsie Sioux was hassled by locals due to her outfit with bare breasts. Organised by McLaren for whom the word "festival" had too much of a hippie connotationthe event was "considered the moment that was the catalyst for the years to come. As later described by Matlock, "The idea was to get the spirit of the live performance. We were pressurized to make it faster and faster. Rotten's howls of "I am an anti-Christ" and "Destroy! Reid and McLaren came up with the notion of selling the record in a completely wordless, featureless black sleeve. This and other images created by Reid for the Sex Pistols quickly became punk icons. The Sex Pistols' behaviour, as much as their music, brought them national attention. On 1 Decemberthe band and members of the Bromley Contingent created a storm of publicity by swearing during an early evening live broadcast of Thames Television 's Today programme, hosted by Bill Grundy. Appearing as last-minute replacements for fellow EMI artists Queenwho had dropped out because of Freddie Mercury 's dental appointment, [81] the band and their entourage were offered drinks as they waited to go on air. During the interview, Jones said the band had "fucking spent" its label advance and Rotten used the word "shit", although both of these statements were apparently inaudible to Grundy, who had earlier claimed to be drunk. He then engaged in repartee with Siouxsie Siouxwho declared that she had "always wanted to meet" him. Grundy responded, "Did you really? We'll meet afterwards, shall we? Although the programme was broadcast only in the London region, the ensuing furore occupied the tabloid newspapers for days. The episode made the band household names throughout the country and brought punk into mainstream awareness. The Damned were briefly part of the tour, before McLaren kicked them off. Media coverage was intense, and many of the concerts were cancelled by organisers or local authorities; of approximately twenty scheduled gigs, only about seven actually took place. The worst of the punk rock groups I suppose currently are the Sex Pistols. They are unbelievably nauseating. They are the antithesis of humankind. I would like to see somebody dig a very, very large, exceedingly deep hole and drop the whole bloody lot down it. Following the end of the tour in late December, three concerts were arranged in the Netherlands for January The band, hungover, boarded a plane at London Heathrow Airport early on 4 January; a few hours later, the Evening News was reporting that the band had "vomited and spat their way" to the flight. In Februaryword leaked out that Matlock was leaving the Sex Pistols. He claimed that Matlock had been "thrown out The Beatles was too much. His mum didn't like the songs. He said it declared us fascists. He was also credited with introducing the pogo dance to the scene at the Club. John Robb claims it was at the first Sex Pistols residency gig, 11 May ; Matlock is convinced it happened during the second night of the Club Punk Special in September, when the Pistols were off playing in Wales. He always thought of it in terms of opposing camps". The other two just thought he was crazy. Pogoing aside, Vicious had been involved in a notorious incident during that memorable second night of the Club Punk Special. Arrested for hurling a glass at The Damned that shattered and blinded a girl in one eye, he had served time in a remand centre—and contributed to the Club banning all punk bands. He was the knight in shining armour with a giant fist. Sid really tried hard and rehearsed a lot".