Bidvest Boss to Sue Vodacom Over Fees Scam
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R45 NEWS YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW (inc VAT) noseweek217 Bidvest boss to NOVEMBER sue Vodacom over fees scam 2017 00217 104042 771025 9 Makhosi Khoza sinks The men behind her claws into Zuma’s ANC Cape lawyer a liar the world’s biggest and a cheat get-even-richer plan GB NoseWeek MCC Ad_02.indd 1 2016/12/12 2:03 PM South AfricanYour favourite magazine is now ISSUE 217 fishing• NOVEMBER 2017 fliesavailable on your iPad – an anthology of milestone andpatterns PC A fly-fisher’s fishy tales Page 26 4 Letters peter brigg and ed herbst 6 Editorial 31 Smalls 7 KZN Bar brawl spreads the dirt Court hears claims of extra-marital affairs, AVAILABLE swearing, drunkeness – and pettiness ON YOUR COLUMNS 8 JSE investigators assess Bonamour’s frolic Which way will Tiso Blackstar chairman TABLET 26 Books David Adomakoh and the Concert Party jump? 27 Letter from 11 Fog of jaw over KZN land claim Umjindi No end in sight for 103-year-old labour tenant’s Download your application for transfer of title deeds 28 Not rocket digital edition today science 12 The biggest ever get-rich-quick plan Why the rich everywhere are getting richer and both single issues and 29 Down & Out the number of poor grows exponentially subscriptions available 30 Last Word 15 Car-hire exec to sue Vodacom Fed-up risk manager plans class action against PLUS never miss a copy – cellphone provider over fraudulent charges with back issues available to download and store 16 KPMG whitewash report The one they hoped we’d forgotten DOWNLOAD YOUR DIGITAL 18 Fishy business EDITION AT Judge finds Cape attorney and property developer, www.noseweek.co.za Richard Goudvis, to be a dodgy witness and a liar or % 021 686 0570 20 Standing up and fighting Magda Wierzycka made headlines when her private sector company was the first to fire auditors KPMG NOSEWEEK November 2017 3 Letters Cover bouquet of the city’s external auditors, they informed me they did not carry out an From the letters page, in nose20, OH, SHIT! – I DO LIKE YOUR OCTOBER December 1997: magazine cover! independent audit; they just checked Andre Hanekom that the internal auditors were happy Wrath of Muhammad Kenilworth, Cape Town and had signed off the accounts. Gary Smith WE NEED NOT DESPAIR BECAUSE OF Cape Farms, Rondeberg, Western Cape Texans’ decision to maintain KPMG’s diplomatic auditing sanctions against South Africa! n YOUR KPMG REPORT MAKES ONE By God, The Prophets and CNN, KPMG’S “DIPLOMATIC” AUDITING GOES wonder about professional status. El Nino is going to flood Texas by way back. In the late 1980s I was No sooner have the accountants New Year’s Day, and I will rejoice employed by the Durban City been sprung, along comes the South in the justice of the Laws of God Council’s IT department to convert African Reserve Bank to the rescue: and physics. the programming of the city’s comput- KPMG are too big to fail – the large Muhammad Jadwat erised assets register from Mumps to corporate organisations must not La Mercy Beach, KZN Cobol, a project that took nearly three ditch their Dutch Uncles. years. There were so many assets on “When plunder becomes a way of Mr Jadwat’s prophecy was only the register that the printout pile life for a group of men in society, in 20 years out, but the residents of stood more than a metre high. As the course of time they create a legal Houston may need reminding why a result no-one ever read it or knew system that authorises it and a moral the recent devastating hurricane what was in it; all the auditors wanted code that glorifies it.” – Economic was visited upon them. – Ed. was the total. Sophisms, Frederic Bastiat (1801- Durban at the time claimed a world 1850). a month’s supply plus two repeats. record; it and some city in Canada What does the Reserve Bank know Since “bennies” are both easily were the only cities that made a and what are they attempting to abused and highly addictive, I was profit every year. Question frequently brush under the carpet? Perhaps careful to make the month’s supply asked: why, if they are always making another quotation might help: last for nearly a year. By then the a profit, do rates continually rise? “The few who understand the repeat prescriptions were out-of-date One way they were doing it was system will either be so interested so I went back to ask, somewhat by reflecting every expense incurred in its profits or so dependent on its sheepishly, for a further supply and not as an expense in their books, favours, that there will be no opposi- in a burst of generosity my dealer but as the purchase of an asset. For tion from that class.” And “Let me – sorry, my doctor – upped the dose example, installed street light bulbs issue and control a nation’s money and gave me another three months’ were reflected as an asset; paint used and I care not who writes the laws.” supply. I mentioned that the product on the roads – those white lines – was – Mayer Amschel Bauer Rothschild, leaflet advised a maximum treatment an asset. Donkeys they had bought in (1744-1812). period of two weeks but he said I was 1938 were still on the asset register, Does history not teach us anything? mistaken. I’m a pretty big guy (of as were ancient tramlines long buried Barry Midgley Russian descent); I wonder if smaller under layers of tarmac, still valued at Durban folk are more at risk than me. cost. Contractors had been hired and paid to dig holes on Dairy Beach for PS: This is not cricket! Where is ‘Bear’ Lee Konshus poles to support a new lifesavers’ hut Harold Strachan? I don’t recall Southern Cape close to the new pier. But they could receiving a leave application – his not reach rock, so decided to erect is the most important article in n TO ADD TO YOUR EXCELLENT ARTICLE the hut on North Beach instead. The Noseweek; without it we get with- titled “Big Pharma is making us sick” abandoned holes in the sand on Dairy drawal symptoms. – BM (nose216) two notable quotes: Beach remained on the asset register, “It is simply no longer possible to at cost. Under the site where the See page 12 to understand the system believe much of the clinical research Tollgate bridge now stands on the N3 – and then page 30 to light up your that is published, or to rely on the highway, there was once a road inter- day! – Ed. judgment of trusted physicians or section with robots. Those old road- authoritative medical guidelines. I works and traffic lights were still on Have a bennie! take no pleasure in this conclusion, the asset register, although they had which I reached slowly and reluc- YOUR ARTICLE (BIG PHARMA, NOSE216) been bulldozed away years before. tantly over my two decades as an about the over-prescription of drugs The council auditors weren’t inter- editor of The New England Journal was spot-on, if our local GPs are ested; they only wanted the total of Medicine.” – Marcia Angell, MD, anything to go by. I was prescribed that the computer spewed out. When in the New York Review of Books, benzodiazepine a couple of years ago; I drew the problem to the attention January 15, 2009. 4 “The case against science is straight- and SARS will have to catch a BIG everyone to go the small claims court forward: much of the scientific litera- wake-up because Nam is busy taking route. If enough people do, Vodacom ture, perhaps half, may simply be business away from inefficient, and friends will have to shut down untrue. Afflicted by studies with small bloated, red-tape and expensive SA these scams, because it will cost them sample sizes, tiny effects, invalid government-run Ports Authority too much to defend. exploratory analyses, and flagrant operations! Ian Ashmole conflicts of interest, together with an Rick Lobb Posted online obsession with pursuing fashionable Sunridge Park trends of dubious importance, science No miracle cures has taken a turn towards darkness.” – Richard Horton, editor-in-chief, The Time Vodacom got stung THERE ARE NO LONGER ETHICS IN BUSI- Lancet, April 2015. NESS, only the desire to be rich at all IF YOU ARE A VICTIM OF VODACOM’S WASP And who can argue with that! costs; even if it means that innocent scam [charges to your cellphone people will die. When it comes to Dr David Klatzow, account for junk “content” you neither Forensic scientist, Cape Town our health, we really have to apply ordered not authorised] and assuming common sense: drink water, eat in that the amount is less than R15,000, moderation, rest, but most impor- Well done, neighbour! lodge a claim against Vodacom at the tantly avoid miracle cures as they WELL DONE TO NAMIBIA; THINKING small claims court. Since the police simply do not exist. outside the proverbial box is the and NPA have done nothing about it KG way to go! SA Ports, SA Customs for years, Noseweek should encourage Pretoria Stent NOSEWEEK November 2017 5 C Editor Editorial Martin Welz [email protected] Assistant Editor Jonathan Erasmus unDONE Special Correspondent Jack Lundin HIS MONTH, ALL I NEED DO IS RECOMMEND 4% for two months and keep the remaining Designer that you read a recently published 16%? Charity for millionaires? Tony Pinchuck book by Jacques Peretti titled Done, Did any of them pause to consider they Consultant published by Hodder.