Asking for What We Need

The Reverend Pen Peery

John 20:19-31

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house were locked for fear of the Jews, came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’

After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.’ When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.’

But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.”

But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hand, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said,

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“Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not be unbelieving but believe.”

Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name. + + +

As you know, this is the second Sunday in over a year that we have allowed people to register to worship in-person in the sanctuary. Once again, we “sold-out” the number of seats we allow within 24 hours. I think that teaches us a few things: (1) people have really been missing the opportunity, (2) there continues to be a deep hunger to connect in-person in the community of faith, (3) we need more seats!

If it were a normal year – though – I have to tell you that the Sunday after Easter is usually not one to “sell out.” In fact, back before “socially distant seating” was a thing – it was a thing in the sanctuary the Sunday after Easter.

In clergy circles, the Sunday after Easter has another…more comical…name. We often call it “National Associate Pastor Sunday.” Lots of times, for churches with multiple pastors on staff, this would be a Sunday that the Senior Pastor would “give their associate’s a preaching opportunity” on a day when the energy and the attendance was low.

First Presbyterian Church | 200 West Trade St. | Charlotte, NC 28202 | www.f irstpres-charlotte.org

I am sure that Robert or Anna would do a wonderful job preaching today, but because going to miss being in the pulpit next Sunday (as it is Youth Sunday), and the Sunday after that (because we have a guest preacher – our former Associate Pastor, Ernie Thompson, preaching as a part of our bicentennial year celebration), I decided I would give it a go this morning.

I’m kind of kidding. But the real reason that I wanted to preach today is because of the Scripture lesson that is assigned from John’s gospel – the story of “doubting” Thomas. I believe – quite strongly, in fact – that doubt is one of the most maligned and underappreciated aspects of what it means to have faith. Fredrick Buechner was the one who said that “doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving.”

As we prepare ourselves to encounter God’s word in Scripture, let us first go to God in prayer and then be lifted up by the choir. Let us pray: Gracious God, speak to us through your word – that, in it, we might discover good news and abundant life. We ask it in the name of the resurrected one. Amen.

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In John’s gospel, as the part of the story we will hear in a moment, the only one who had seen the risen Christ was . Peter and the Beloved Disciple had seen the stone rolled away. But for the rest of the disciples, they had only heard testimony. That is about to change…for everyone but Thomas. I am reading from the 20th chapter of John, beginning at verse 19. Listen with me for the word of God.

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First Presbyterian Church | 200 West Trade St. | Charlotte, NC 28202 | www.f irstpres-charlotte.org

Pretty much every time I teach a class, or lead a study, or interact with youth or children in something like confirmation or catechism class – I encounter a pervasive myth: It is the myth that in order to have faith – or to really be a good Christian – you have to have your beliefs all figured out.

In my experience – when people can let their guard down enough to admit that (a) they really aren’t all that certain about what they believe, or confident in what they think they are supposed to believe, or (b) they are unfamiliar with an aspect of faith or a particular story of Scripture, the next thing people feel is a sense of shame that is quickly followed by guilt.

It is as if church is one big test – that you had better pass if you hope to benefit from the rewards of those who are worthy.

Sometimes – when people feel the shame that I just described – from those who are somewhat familiar with Scripture – they will say, “I don’t know…I guess I’m just a doubting Thomas.”

To which I reply: “What a wonderful role model!!!”

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Because of the myth that faith is equated with certainty – Thomas has been maligned for far too many generations. He’s been misunderstood in two, significant ways.

First, historically, the church has been so recriminating against Thomas that we’ve even mistranslated the famous exchange he has with Jesus. Maybe you caught

First Presbyterian Church | 200 West Trade St. | Charlotte, NC 28202 | www.f irstpres-charlotte.org that what I read a moment ago is slightly different than the version of the Scripture that you have before you in your bulletin or in your own . The word that gets translated as “doubt” is – more accurately – “unbelieving.”

Jesus says, “do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Nowhere does Jesus rebuke Thomas for having doubts.

What Thomas does is ask for what he needs. “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hand, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

We’ve been conditioned, I think, to roll our eyes at Thomas’ statement. To scold him for not being able to simply take the testimony of the other disciples at face value. To wonder why Thomas had to be so difficult, instead of going along and getting along.

And if we’ve ever wondered that – the answer is because if he hadn’t stated what he needed, if he hadn’t grappled with what the disciples told him, if he had just felt those pangs of doubt/unease/wonderment and stuffed them away so as to not upset the apple-cart or risk people thinking he wasn’t fully committed to the cause…then Thomas may have missed the chance to voice the kind of passionate affirmation of faith that he did once he put his hands in Jesus side.

You see – in the there is one person who encounters Jesus and actually gets it. One person who sees Jesus for who he really is. One person who recognizes Jesus as God. It’s Thomas. Who – after receiving what he said he needed – utters the most complete profession of faith in the gospel: “My Lord and my God!!”

First Presbyterian Church | 200 West Trade St. | Charlotte, NC 28202 | www.f irstpres-charlotte.org

Instead of reading this as a negative story about how not to act, I suggest we look at it another way: as an example of faithfulness. As a roadmap for how to deepen what we believe.

The end of today’s passage makes clear what John’s aim is in writing his gospel. John tells us this story to inspire future generations to believe what they have not seen. The disciple named Thomas helps mark the path.

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The second way I think we have misunderstood Thomas is by assuming that Thomas’ question is about seeking proof…something tangible that will assure him that Jesus is real.

But as a friend of mine notes, we should be mindful of what, exactly, Thomas asks about. He doesn’t ask about the eternal life. He doesn’t ask how Jesus got out of the tomb. He doesn’t ask where Jesus went after appearing to his disciples. No, what Thomas asks is to see Jesus’ wounds. Thomas needs to know if Jesus’ wounds are real.

And if I understand the Scripture, it is not so much that Thomas is looking for proof as he is looking for meaning. I think that’s what is really going on. He needs to understand what Jesus’ resurrection means for him – and what kind of life he will lead in light of the resurrection.

Have you ever stopped to think why the resurrected body of Jesus had wounds at all? I mean, God had the power to raise a man who had died – to roll away the stone – to restore life! Why leave evidence of the crucifixion when God has the

First Presbyterian Church | 200 West Trade St. | Charlotte, NC 28202 | www.f irstpres-charlotte.org ability to overcome the power of death?

One of the great privileges of what a pastor gets to do is hold the hands of those who are wounded…to be with people in the wake of grief…to stand with people when the relationships around them strain and sometimes break. And one of the things you learn as you engage in that kind of pastoral work is the difference between being with someone in their pain versus claiming to understand someone’s pain.

What you want to say in those moments is, “I know how you feel.” But, in truth, you don’t know what someone else feels. Because even if you have experienced something similar, a person’s experience of pain, or loss, or woundedness is intensely personal.

At the same time, when you are wounded one of the things you most dearly crave is the knowledge that someone else has been there before…that you are not alone.

It is a conundrum.

I think the fact that the resurrected Jesus had wounds in his hands and wounds in his side is perhaps the clearest demonstration of God’s desire to identify with and care for the needs of the wounded people he came to save.

It was William Temple who said that “the wounds of Christ are his credentials to the suffering race of humanity.”

We don’t know what Thomas suffered. The scripture does not tell us of Thomas’ wounds. We can infer that Thomas was grieving the loss of his teacher and Lord.

First Presbyterian Church | 200 West Trade St. | Charlotte, NC 28202 | www.f irstpres-charlotte.org

Perhaps he felt betrayed. Maybe afraid.

Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, Thomas said, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.

When Jesus appeared again to the disciples – and to Thomas – it is as if he holds out his hands, pointing to his wounds, and says, I know, Thomas. I know. And to his side, and says, I know, Thomas. I know. My Lord and my God! + + +

When it comes to building a robust faith, sometimes it takes asking the question that is on our hearts. Sometimes those questions we ask are informed by old hurts, anxieties, places around which we are insecure. The grappling, the wrestling, the figuring out what we need in order to strengthen our faith…it takes time…and it ebbs and it flows.

What I think is important is that the church – and our church – be a place that welcomes and encourages and gives room for this kind of faith exploration. I want us to continue to be a church that offers space for questions, for doubts, for the challenging questions, for the new angles, the visitation and examination of old assumptions.

First Presbyterian Church | 200 West Trade St. | Charlotte, NC 28202 | www.f irstpres-charlotte.org

If we can give that space – I think the faith we nurture here will be stronger for it. Fuller. More powerful and dynamic. Because it will be a faith that seeks to make meaning…not simply something to recite in order to pass the final exam.

For 200 Easters, the faithful members of First Presbyterian Church of Charlotte have heard the good news about a God of resurrection and hope. As we walk forward into our future, amidst a culture that is spiritually hungry and in need of a space to seek meaning for their lives, we have an opportunity to have this place be that space.

And I hope that we will. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit…AMEN.

First Presbyterian Church | 200 West Trade St. | Charlotte, NC 28202 | www.f irstpres-charlotte.org