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Northern Michigan University NMU Commons All NMU Master's Theses Student Works 8-2014 DISASTER SALSA Linda A. H. Sirois Linda Sirois, [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: https://commons.nmu.edu/theses Part of the Creative Writing Commons Recommended Citation Sirois, Linda A. H., "DISASTER SALSA" (2014). All NMU Master's Theses. 18. https://commons.nmu.edu/theses/18 This Open Access is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Works at NMU Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in All NMU Master's Theses by an authorized administrator of NMU Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected],[email protected]. DISASTER SALSA By Linda A. H. Sirois THESIS Submitted to Northern Michigan University In partial fulfillment of the requirements For the degree of MASTER OF FINE ARTS Office of Graduate Education and Research July 2014 SIGNATURE APPROVAL FORM Title of Thesis: DISASTER SALSA This thesis by Linda Sirois is recommended for approval by the student’s Thesis Committee and Department Head in the Department of English and by the Assistant Provost of Graduate Education and Research. ____________________________________________________________ Committee Chair: Matthew Gavin Frank Date ____________________________________________________________ First Reader: Dr. Lesley Larkin Date ____________________________________________________________ Second Reader (if required): Jennifer A. Howard Date ____________________________________________________________ Department Head: Dr. Raymond J. Ventre Date ____________________________________________________________ Dr. Brian D. Cherry Date Assistant Provost of Graduate Education and Research ABSTRACT DISASTER SALSA By Linda A. H. Sirois Disaster Salsa is an interrelated collage of essays, poems, letters, recipes, and stories that are juxtaposed to tell a narrative of what it is like to be the mother of a child who struggles with mental disorder. Our oldest son has had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) all his life; at the age of 11 he was struck with a baseball bat, which resulted in a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Services that address, diagnose, and treat mental disorders have been abysmal for many years in parts of our country, and ten years ago in northern Michigan, “TBI” was not an injury that was commonly considered or discussed by medical practitioners. As a result, it was seven years before our son was correctly diagnosed with a brain injury. During those seven years, one of my coping mechanisms was researching information about various forms of mental disorder, in order to try to identify a true diagnosis. This reliance on research and definition is symbolized by my use of definitions as an organizing structure to contain and narrate emotional chapters of our family life during the time our son’s illness was acute and uncategorized, as well as the aftermath for him. This collection presents a series of glimpses into the messiness and pain of daily life for those who suffer from mental disorder, their resilience, and the occasional dark humor of those who, through love, are forced to witness. i DEDICATION For Lucas, who said, “Mom, write about it! I’m giving you my permission to write about me and my OCD.” ii PREFACE A school report written by Luke, at the start of 7th grade (all spelling, etc. is unchanged): Me overcoming OCD By Lucas One day last summer I said I’m going to beat OCD so I did. First of all I needed to say no to OCD(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I got my grades up and got Therapy help and Medication, I also got help from my parents, friends, and family. I had to get rid of those junk thoughts and then I learned more about it (OCD), so I could fight. For instants one of my obsessions is looking back or touching stuff, but I’m over that. You can get help from medication and therapy but mostly it’s all up to you. OCD is when some cords in your brain don’t quit work right (they don’t get the message clearly). It’s kind of interesting learning about OCD, the way I look at it it makes life more interesting, more actioned packed. I have had OCD since I was born, it’s not the worst sickness but there are related sickness’s like ADHD, ADD, and Otisam. There is no proven cause of OCD or other realated symptoms. “Information is not knowledge.” ~ Albert Einstein This thesis follows the format prescribed by the MLA Style Manual and the Department of English. iii TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction (Why) ..............................................................................................................1 Why He is a Cat .................................................................................................................13 Recipe for Disaster Salsa ...................................................................................................14 Lexicon ..............................................................................................................................17 Display ...............................................................................................................................23 Crack ..................................................................................................................................29 Cascade ..............................................................................................................................36 Maybe ................................................................................................................................38 Recipe for Crack ................................................................................................................43 Bad .....................................................................................................................................46 A Plan for Difficult Times .................................................................................................53 Hard....................................................................................................................................54 Letter to the Parent Support Group ....................................................................................66 iv Herald .................................................................................................................................69 Letter ..................................................................................................................................72 Touch .................................................................................................................................73 The Boy with the Silent Voice Speaks ..............................................................................78 Alternate Ending #2: The Quick Fix ..................................................................................87 Room ..................................................................................................................................88 Help ..................................................................................................................................105 Collections .......................................................................................................................110 One Moment ....................................................................................................................129 Alternate Ending #3: Cat .................................................................................................130 Cant ..................................................................................................................................135 Moment 2 .........................................................................................................................145 Moment 3 .........................................................................................................................146 Cry, Crisis, Chrysalis .......................................................................................................147 Alternate Ending #4: Climax ...........................................................................................153 v How to Visit Your Son in Jail ..........................................................................................155 Recipe for Trauma Pork Chops........................................................................................163 Room and Board ..............................................................................................................166 Alternate Ending #5: Smoke ............................................................................................181 Prodigal ............................................................................................................................184 Weekend ..........................................................................................................................195 No .....................................................................................................................................203 Recipe for Shipwreck .......................................................................................................205 Alternate Ending #6: Choke .............................................................................................207 Final Moment ...................................................................................................................213 Works Cited .....................................................................................................................214