GROWING up TAKATĀPUI: Whānau Journeys
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GROWING UP TAKATĀPUI: Whānau Journeys By Elizabeth Kerekere Mihi Growing Up Takatāpui: Whānau Journeys was written by takatāpui leader Dr Elizabeth Kerekere (Founder/Chair, Tīwhanawhana Trust) in collaboration with takatāpui rangatahi He mana motuhake leaders Toni Duder (Communications and Operations Manager, Heke iho mai i ngā tūpuna RainbowYOUTH) and Morgan Butler (Support Manager, Heke iho i ngā kaumātua RainbowYOUTH). Heke iho i ngā pākeke RainbowYOUTH (1989) is a charitable organisation dedicated to Heke iho i ngā rangatahi helping young queer and gender diverse people up to the ages Tae noa mai ki ngā mokopuna of 27, as well as their wider communities. He koha tēnei hei awhi i a tātou Tīwhanawhana Trust (2001) was created for takatāpui to “tell our stories, build our communities and leave a legacy” by uplifting our whānau and Rainbow communities. Takatāpui is a traditional Māori term meaning ‘intimate companion of the same sex.’ It has been reclaimed to embrace all Māori who identify with diverse sexes, genders and sexualities such as whakawāhine (trans women), tangata ira Morgan Butler (L) tāne (trans men), lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex Tainui, Ngāti Tūwharetoa and queer. These are often grouped under the term ‘Rainbow Te Rarawa communities’. Toni Duder (C) Ngāpuhi Being takatāpui is about whakapapa (descent from ancestors with sexual and gender fluidity); mana (authority and power to Elizabeth Kerekere (R) Ngāti Oneone, Te Aitanga be who we are); identity (claiming all of who we are – culture, a Mahaki, Whānau a Kai gender, sexuality and ability); and inclusion (unity across all iwi, Rongowhakaata sexes, genders and sexualities). Ngāi Tāmanuhiri This resource is the second in a series created to provide support and information for takatāpui rangatahi (youth) and whānau (family) who are struggling to talk to each Ngā mihi aroha to all those who contributed to this resource other. We suggest reading this in conjunction with the especially takatāpui artist Paerau Corneal for the use of her print and film resource: Takatāpui: Part of the Whānau, artwork Hinemoa Hinemoa (2011) and our funders: Te Ara the first in the series. Whiriwhiri, It’s Not OK and Te Puni Kōkiri. 2 3 Introducing the Takatāpui Rangatahi Leaders, Activists and Supporters who contributed to this project: Cameron Kapua-Morrell Ngāti Porou Mere-Ana Nicholson (L) Tainui, Ngāti Tūwharetoa, Te Rarawa Morgan Butler (R) Tainui, Ngāti Tūwharetoa, Te Rarawa Kassie Hartendorp Ngāti Raukawa ki Te Tonga Emilie Rākete Ngāpuhi Nathaniel Gordon-Stables Ariki Brightwell Ngāti Kuri Ngāti Porou, Tahitian 4 5 Introducing the Whānau Mums, Dads, Nans, Aunties, Sisters and Cousins who contributed to this project: Emilie and Dad Robert Rākete Cousins Morgan and Mere-Ana with Aunty Ellen Tupaea Ngāpuhi (top left) and Grandmother Nina Turanga (bottom right) Ngāti Tūwharetoa, Tainui and Te Rarawa Ariki with Dad Matahi Brightwell Ngāti Tūwharetoa and Mum Raipoia Brightwell Tahitian Morgan and Mum Kellie Butler Ngāti Tūwharetoa, Tainui and Te Rarawa Nathaniel and Mum Angelique Gordon-Stables Ngāti Kuri Cameron with (L - R) Dad Frank Kapua, Mum Natasha Morrell, Grandmother Nan Kapua, Cousin Molly Heremaia and Sister Monique Kapua-Morrell Ngāti Porou 6 7 Whakapapa: Where Did We Come From? Accepting Takatāpui: Our tūpuna who had fluid genders or sexuality were accepted within their whānau long before Pākehā (Europeans) came to Aotearoa New Zealand. We know this from mōteatea, waiata, karakia and whakairo (traditional chants, songs, incantations and carvings). The term takatāpui is hundreds of years old and has been connected to iwi in Te Arawa and the Wairarapa. Some iwi had no Taonga Tuku Iho are the treasures passed down from our tūpuna particular terms – takatāpui were just part of the whānau. (ancestors) – from traditional Māori society. From them we inherited te reo, tikanga and whenua (language, culture and land). Whānau: The extended whānau is the basic building block of “Our people weren’t Māori culture. It connects us “I’m proud of my constricted in boxes. We to our hapū (sub-tribe), iwi cultural heritage and didn’t have forms. We didn’t (tribe), marae, whenua (land), my language and have signed contracts. wairua (spirituality) and tūpuna everything about being We spoke the word. Our (ancestors). It is at the core of Māori... I just love that stories are passed down our identity as Māori. Whānau we have that connection through waiata and karakia” survival is ensured through to Papatūānuku and – Ellen (Aunty) the care of children and young Ranginui. It’s just people. This is why the word for amazing” – Cameron child is ‘tamariki’ which stems from ‘tama+ariki’ meaning ‘little Balance Between Genders: chief.’ Pre-colonisation, many parts of Māori culture were gendered, “It’s important to not just but the roles of both women call yourself takatāpui. and men were valued as To be takatāpui is “Always remember that essential for survival. The work to understand that your tamariki are the most and leadership of women sat queerness is not just a important thing in the world. alongside and equal to that of Pākehā thing” – Emilie Never forget that, no matter men. Sexual and gender fluidity what” – Raipoia (Mum) were accepted as long as the work got done. 8 9 Colonisation: A Never Ending Story Losing Voices: The colonisation of Aotearoa in the 1800s by the British had a huge impact on Māori culture and society. Colonial settler society made corporal punishment and child abuse commonplace. Becoming Illegal: As British laws “The ideal to me is that each and society became the dominant whānau, hapū or iwi grouping Children and young people were to be “seen and not heard” so culture of Aotearoa, it became have their own stories about they began to lose their voice within the whānau. Their mothers immoral to be anything other takatāpuitanga [takatāpui way were also losing their voices as Māori women were forced to submit than heterosexual, cisgendered of life]. Actually ingrained from to the British ideal of women in the Victorian era. Ideas of gender or monogamous. For almost a very young age that there is a became constricted with so-called subservient Māori women and a century it was illegal to be narrative and a story around what warrior Māori men. ‘homosexual’. it means if you are a different sexuality or gender [identity] to The beliefs, customs and laws that the norm that is around you” “There were no role models the British brought to Aotearoa – Kassie [for me]. It was silence and became vehicles to discriminate nothingness like there was against takatāpui. Today, this has manifested as homophobia (against no possibility aside from same-sex attracted people), transphobia (against people who are heterosexuality and being transgender, transitioning or gender fluid) and biphobia (against cisgender [identify with the people who are bisexual or pansexual). gender assigned at birth]” – Kassie “Of course, there were gay Becoming Invisible: Missionaries and people back in the day. If puritans worked hard to suppress it was possible for us then, any expression of sexuality or gender “We never really grew it should be possible for fluidity. Takatāpui behaviour was up hearing the term us to accept it more now” hidden and takatāpui stories were [takatāpui]” – Nan Kapua – Cameron erased, deliberately not translated (Nan) or recorded. Because of this, these stories became forgotten over time. 10 11 “All of the cultural messages of trans women are real bad so it’s difficult to learn anything good about trans women or the idea Forgetting The Past: While the that you can be a trans woman whānau may still be a strong way and not just be a weird joke” of connecting to Māori culture, “I think the Māori prejudice – Emilie that culture may no longer accept against this kind of behaviour takatāpui behaviour. For whānau [being takatāpui] comes from today who live without traditional that they see it as unnatural. Māori views and acceptance of We’re forgetting to see it For Takatāpui Today: The negative “Not feeling Māori enough gender and sexual fluidity, views as a natural phenomenon” impact of colonisation continues because of whatever reason, about takatāpui in the whānau can – Matahi (Dad) – especially for tamariki and it’s actually a tool of the take on the worst of colonial and rangatahi. Discrimination against coloniser for me to feel that Western culture: shame, silence their gender identity or sexuality way and to think that way. and religious persecution. starts early, both within the And it benefits the coloniser” whānau and outside, where they – Kassie live, learn, work and socialise. “My cousin was beaten, belted. He was always cooking, cleaning. The Price of Forgetting: Instead of receiving the strength of I remember my older cousin whānau support, takatāpui rangatahi can be isolated or made saying, “get outside and clean invisible. They can be the butt of jokes or even kicked out the hangi pit”. Yet they didn’t of home. This can lead to drug and alcohol addictions, mind eating his beautiful kai. unwanted pregnancies, depression, self-harm and suicide. He could only hold his own Disconnection from whānau often leads to disconnection from Māori for so long. Sadly, my cousin culture and therefore from Māori and takatāpui identity. died in his thirties. And I truly believe it was through… dying “I know people that have taken the same path as me, but their inside. He was not nourished families have rejected them. And over the course of time, I’ve and he was not nurtured” seen the decay of their mental state and their body” – Ariki – Ellen (Aunty) 12 13 Journey to Supportive Whānau: Listening to the Silence On One Side: Often communication begins with what is unsaid. Whānau On The Other Side: Takatāpui rangatahi may feel anxious, confused and may have noticed changes in their takatāpui rangatahi but they feel reluctant to disclose how they are feeling to their whānau.