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Next Article in Theater (1 of 21) » A Broadway Flop Again Raises Its Antlers
By CAMPBELL ROBERTSON Published: April 21, 2008 SIGN IN TO E-MAIL OR SAVE THIS It is generally not a good sign for a Broadway show when people leave the opening-night party early. That is what Arthur Bicknell noticed at the PRINT celebration for the premiere of his play. As soon as the dessert forks were SINGLE PAGE down, there they went, acquaintances, cast members, even family, out the SHARE door of Sardi’s restaurant. A friend finally approached with a report on the reviews.
Enlarge This Image Two words: “the worst.”
Indeed they were. The play was “Moose Murders,” and even now, 25 years later, it is considered the standard of awfulness against which all Broadway flops are judged.
“Was it really that bad?” asked Mr. Bicknell, who now lives in Springfield, Mass., and is the chief publicist for Gerry Goodstein Merriam-Webster. “The simple answer is yes.” From left, Don Potter, Lisa McMillan and June Gable in “Moose Murders” (1983). It opened and closed the same night. Things weren’t so grim at the L & M bowling lanes in Rochester,
N.Y., on Friday night, when a cast of nonprofessional — most MOST POPULAR Related barely even amateur — actors had just finished a second E-MAILED BLOGGED SEARCHED On the Particular Pleasure of Seeing a performance of “Moose Murders” at the Rochester Contemporary 1 . Message Machine: Behind Analysts, the Pentagon’s Legendary Flop (March 20, 1983) Art Center. The show, a staged reading but with original music, Hidden Hand Original Review: 'Moose Murders': A was put together by John Borek, 58, a self-described “part-time 2. Frank Rich: Shoddy! Tawdry! A Televised Train Wreck! Brand of Whodunit (Feb. 23, 1983) conceptual artist” who works by day as an aide to a Rochester 3. No Fortissimo? Symphony Told to Keep It Down 'Moose Murders' on Wikipedia city councilman. The first performance was on Feb. 22, the 25th 4. The Way We Live Now: Why Bother? anniversary of the play’s Broadway opening, and closing, night. 5. Summer in Europe: Rome at Night
Enlarge This Image 6. Finding Your First Apartment The next scheduled performance is Aug. 9. At Sardi’s. It is all 7. Maureen Dowd: Brush It Off part of Mr. Borek’s idea to pay homage to a play that has 8 . Editorial: The Torture Sessions transcended its swift demise to become evocative shorthand in the 9. Working Life (High and Low) theater world for anything that has gone tremendously wrong. 10. Clintons Sort Friends: Past and Present
“Maybe Broadway had its chance, and they blew it,” Mr. Borek Go to Complete List » said. “Maybe it will have a more receptive audience as a work of art.”
It is certainly true that Broadway audiences were less than nytimes.com/opinion receptive.
James Rajotte for The New York Times “If your name is Arthur Bicknell — or anything like it — change John Borek, center, introducing Act II of “Moose Murders” in Rochester. He it,” declared Dennis Cunningham, the critic at the CBS affiliate in directed and produced the staged New York. reading.
Critics described “Moose Murders” as “titanically bad” and
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“indescribably bad,” a play that “would insult the intelligence of an audience consisting entirely of More from the Op-Extra Columnists amoebas” (Brendan Gill, The New Yorker), that looked as it were staged by “a blind director Also in Opinion: repeatedly kicked in the groin” (John Simon, New York magazine). The columnist Liz Smith had Olivia Judson's The Wild Side Stanley Fish's Think Again some nice things to say, Mr. Bicknell recalled. Timothy Egan's Outposts
Years later, Frank Rich, who was then the theater critic for The New York Times, would call it “the worst play I’ve ever seen on a Broadway stage.” (Mr. Rich’s writings about “Moose Murders” have ADVERTISEMENTS become such a part of its lore that a recent production of the play in Manila credited Mr. Rich with having written the play.) Which movies made the 1,000 Best list? All the news that's fit to personalize.
The reviews, which were not helped by the man reeking of vomit who sat in the third row during a In a world of second opinions, get the press preview, made the 14 performances of “Moose Murders” legendary in theater history. Cast facts first. members trumpet their involvement in Playbill biographies. The number of people who claim to have seen the show, at the Eugene O’Neill Theater, seems to have multiplied beyond physical possibility, like those who claim to have seen the Beatles at Shea Stadium or Game 5 of the 1956 World Series.
The play, a mystery farce, relates the adventures of Joe Buffalo Dance, Snooks and Howie Keene, Nurse Dagmar, Stinky Holloway and others pulled together on one stormy night at the Wild Moose Lodge, where several murders take place, Stinky tries to sleep with his mother, and a man in a moose costume is assaulted by a bandage-wrapped quadriplegic.
Mr. Bicknell, who was 32 at the time and had written a couple of scripts — including “Masterpieces,” a historical drama about the Brontë family — said he had become aware early that there were problems with the play, and the production.
The director, John Roach, was also a producer, and his wife was in the show. (Mr. Roach could not be tracked down for this article.) The leading lady, Eve Arden, was supposed to be making a comeback after more than 40 years away from Broadway, but she left after the first preview.
The actress Holland Taylor, eager to pay some bills, stepped in and within a week was performing onstage. Despite calling the production a “misshapen thing at an almost Shakespearean level,” Ms. Taylor now says the experience taught her much about fortitude in the face of disaster.
“There were things that I put my foot down about and changed,” she said in a telephone interview. “But there were things I couldn’t change. Like the play.”
After the show closed immediately, Mr. Bicknell spent a long night drinking with friends and talking about life. Before going to bed the next morning, he walked by the Eugene O’Neill, where the set was already being unloaded.
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Next Article in Theater (1 of 21) » A Broadway Flop Again Raises Its Antlers Get UrbanEye by E-Mail Published: April 21, 2008 Sign up to find out all you need to know about New York, every SIGN IN TO E-MAIL OR weekday. (Page 2 of 2) SAVE THIS See Sample | Privacy Policy PRINT He tried to move on, writing another play and even a midnight drag show, but eventually gave up and worked for a few years as a literary agent. SINGLE PAGE Someone tried to get permission to turn the play into a musical called SHARE Ads by Google what's this? “Moose Murders: The Afterbirth,” Mr. Bicknell said, but he was not ready for that. MS in Business Accounting Robert H. Smith School of Business University of Maryland www.rhsmith.umd.edu/ms Enlarge This Image Eventually he came to terms. “If you can’t redeem, exploit,” he said in a telephone interview. “You have to embrace it.” He’s now writing a book about the experience.
There have been other productions of “Moose Murders,” at MOST POPULAR community and dinner theaters in Montana, Ohio, Oklahoma, E-MAILED BLOGGED SEARCHED
Queens and other far-flung places. (There was a request for 1 . Message Machine: Behind Analysts, the Pentagon’s permission to mount the play in, appropriately enough, Turkey, Hidden Hand Mr. Bicknell said with a laugh.) And now there’s the Rochester 2. Frank Rich: Shoddy! Tawdry! A Televised Train Wreck! produ — uh, art project. 3. The Way We Live Now: Why Bother? 4. No Fortissimo? Symphony Told to Keep It Down “I want it to be just about the joy of performing,” Mr. Borek 5. Summer in Europe: Rome at Night said. “I want as little professionalism as possible to come out.” 6. Finding Your First Apartment James Rajotte for The New York Times “Moose Murders” at the Rochester In that regard, it was a success. 7. Maureen Dowd: Brush It Off Contemporary Art Center. 8 . Editorial: The Torture Sessions The cast included an antiques retailer, a culinary student, a 9. Working Life (High and Low) Related muralist and a Spanish exchange student. They performed with 10. Clintons Sort Friends: Past and Present On the Particular Pleasure of Seeing a scripts in hand, though some longer scenes were simply Go to Complete List » Legendary Flop (March 20, 1983) narrated. The mysterious moose character was a woman dressed Original Review: 'Moose Murders': A in black holding an inflatable deer head emblazoned with the Brand of Whodunit (Feb. 23, 1983) Miller High Life logo. Sidney Holloway, the mummified 'Moose Murders' on Wikipedia quadriplegic, was played by a mannequin, whose head rolled off during the first act. The audience members, most of them nytimes.com/health anyway, seemed to love it. Enlarge This Image
None of this answers a fundamental question about “Moose Murders”: With all the terrible shows that have graced the Broadway stage, including notorious clunkers like “Bobbi Boland,” “Dance of the Vampires” and “Carrie,” why did this one Zen and the art of coping with Alzheimer's become the ne-plus-ultra flop, or, as Mr. Borek called it, the Also in Health: An in-depth report on Alzheimer's negative superlative? Mr. Bicknell offered theories, but could not Finding Alzheimer's before a mind fails What are the symptoms of Alzheimer's? say for sure.
Then again, maybe it isn’t that complicated.
“I was thinking about varying degrees of badness,” Mr. Borek
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Gerry Goodstein said of his project. “There’s bad art that’s kitsch. And there is Holland Taylor, left, and Nicholas ADVERTISEMENTS Hormann in the infamous Broadway bad art that’s outrageous. But then there’s some art that’s simply production. not good.” Complete coverage of Awards season
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