Small Fretful Passengers Amy C
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University of Massachusetts Amherst ScholarWorks@UMass Amherst Masters Theses 1911 - February 2014 January 2007 Small Fretful Passengers Amy C. Dickinson University of Massachusetts Amherst Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.umass.edu/theses Dickinson, Amy C., "Small Fretful Passengers" (2007). Masters Theses 1911 - February 2014. 6. Retrieved from https://scholarworks.umass.edu/theses/6 This thesis is brought to you for free and open access by ScholarWorks@UMass Amherst. It has been accepted for inclusion in Masters Theses 1911 - February 2014 by an authorized administrator of ScholarWorks@UMass Amherst. For more information, please contact [email protected]. SMALL FRETFUL PASSENGERS A Thesis Presented by AMY DICKINSON Submitted to the Graduate School of the University of Massachusetts Amherst in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of MASTER OF FINE ARTS May 2007 MFA Program for Poets and Writers SMALL FRETFUL PASSENGERS A Thesis Presented by AMY DICKINSON Approved as to style and content by: _______________________________________ Dara Wier, Chair _______________________________________ No y Holland, Member _______________________________________ James Tate, Member _______________________________________ Peggy Woods, Member ______________________________________ Dara Wier, Director MFA Program for Poets and Writers __ _____________________________________ Joseph Bartolomeo, Department Chair English Department PREFACE At seven years old, I planned to harness a team of huskies and trap lynx in the Yukon. My peregrine falcon would accompany me. A pack of wolves would adopt me. I would commune with dolphins and occasionally live in the hollowed husk of a burnt tree. At twenty -five, I planned to move to Manhattan, write poems with an abundance of exclamation points, grow wittier and campier, and infiltrate the me tropolitan art scene. In between, I ate cheeseburgers and coca -cola and bemoaned the crummy people in this crummy world. I was an ambulance driver, stoically in love in Italy in wartime. I locked a child in the closet so she couldn’t see the sun. I pil oted a starcraft. I bricked a man into a wall. I was a man bricked into a wall. I watched the southwest turn to dust. I boxed before a crowd of ghastly howling white men. I was moral and righteous and awful and despicable and grotesque and wondrous an d wonderful. I was and am an eager reader, ever -ready to be destroyed and remade. Most books do this to me. The books I remember do this to me. They reveal new ways, of writing, thinking, living, laughing, questioning. The books I love most exercise m y imagination and expose possibilities. I spend a lot of time being confused by the world. Remotely piloted aircraft fly reconnaissance missions over nations. Fish genes are spliced with corn. My brother joins the army. My mom buys sixteen pairs of s weatpants. An Indian farmer must buy new seeds each year because his crops have been engineered to produce infertile seeds. I spend a lot of time in iii a state of wonder. I can send a letter to Kosovo! An ostrich swallows stones to aid in digestion! A Ve nus Fly Trap actually eats flies! I am not naïve. I am overwhelmed. In Donald Barthelme’s “The School,” the children say, “please, please make love with Helen, we require an assertion of value, we are frightened.” Rimbaud “became a fabulous opera.” Fr ank O’Hara is “not depressed anymore, because Gregory has had the same experience with oranges, and is alive.” When the “wheat leans back toward its own darkness,” I, like James Wright, “lean back toward mine.” Pablo Neruda wants to do to me “what spring does to the cherry trees”! Tomaž Šalamun eats blue imagination! Borges speculates that “on some shelf of the universe there lies a total book.” After a load of raccoons is tire -ironed to death, George Saunders’ 400 -pound CEO types invoices and cheery p ost -burial paragraphs for Humane Raccoon Alternatives. The word “possibilities” does not imply empty reassurance nor does it necessitate hopeless bewilderment. The books I love most expose possibilities, give me a glimpse at another way of iv thinking, maki ng nearly possible the impossible: inhabiting another’s perspective. Sometimes I use these spaces to order the world, to upend the world, to laugh at the world, to gaze in awe at the world, to grope for affinity in the world, to distance myself from the w orld. Sometimes I want the muchness of the world straightforwardly reflected on the page: I have read and loved Tony Hoagland, Lucia Perillo, Frank O’Hara, Barbara Hamby, Allen Ginsberg, and others, for their passionate ramblings. I have read and loved J ames Wright for his insistence on precision and his willingness to aim for the transcendent phrase or image, Elizabeth Bishop for her sharp and sensuous intelligence, John Ashbery for his intimacy and ceaseless attention. I adore Neruda, Šalamun, Rimbaud, Saunders, Russell Edson, and Dean Young for their invention. Joe Wenderoth’s Letters to Wendys will have me posing questions until I die. Yusef Komunyakaa manages to meld the concrete and the mythical into a hybrid that sets my lungs on fire. My first reading of Sylvia Plath’s Ariel produced a similar reaction. I read some writers for their humor, some for their humorlessness. I read the New York Times Science section for the sheer joy, and occasional terror. Books make, for me, the world bigger. Mo re known, less known, grander, more horrific, stranger, less strange, resonant with history and memory, confused by history and memory. Books do not take me from the world but make me want to move through the world. If I must mention writing —always, I wi ll identify myself, more honestly, as reader —then writing is one more way of moving through the world. I am looking for my best way, will be for a while. And in the meantime, look, here, a man sprouts the v antennae of a cockroach. Look, here, the sea has risen and washed away the facade of Jefferson Davis’ Biloxi home. Here, a war rages in the desert. Here, a battle occurs on Mars. Someone’s mother has gone missing. Someone discovers a whispering wall. A coyote is playing tricks. No one has enough to eat. All but one have gone blind. Someone is lonely. Someone is trapped in a McDonald’s drive -thru. Someone is content. Someone is quizzical, and preparing to ask why. vi CONTENTS PAGE PREFACE ................................ ................. iii ONE The Wells of Western Arkansas ............................. 2 Here’s What We Do ................................ ......... 3 Lurleen’s Interactive Museum of Ornamental Catastrophe .... 4 Population Explosion, In Which the Census -Takers Grow Confused ................................ ........ 5 The Researcher’s Assessment of the Coming State of Affairs ................................ ..... 6 This Calendar ................................ ............. 7 Small Fretful Passengers ................................ .. 8 Choreograph y with Peach Groves ............................ 9 Thumbnail ................................ ................ 10 Let the Tired Sky Sleep ................................ .. 11 Watch Me Run ................................ ............. 12 Musket, Muslin Shirt, Fried Dough ........................ 13 Excavators of Local Waters ............................... 14 Good Night, Good Night ................................ ... 15 Please, Follow Me ................................ ........ 16 Post -Introductory Parade, Lentissimo ..................... 17 TWO Groundskeeper ................................ ............ 19 First Draft Index ................................ ........ 20 One Brother the Awkward ................................ .. 21 The Bugle Players Bid Good Morning ....................... 22 Thrift ................................ ................... 23 The Significance of Linens ............................... 24 Decollection ................................ ............. 25 Improvisational Genealogy ................................ 26 To the Man Masquerading as a Sandwich .................... 27 Cordial Invitation to the Unveiling of the Ne w Fall Line . 28 Thumbnail ................................ ................ 29 The Certified Hypnotist ................................ .. 30 Escapology ................................ ............... 31 Come In, Sit Down, Have Some Tea ......................... 32 Pacific Malady ................................ ........... 33 The Possibility of Heroism at the Fancy Gadget Store ..... 34 Day in the Life ................................ .......... 35 Fred Astaire’s Unusually Large Hands ..................... 36 Tour for the Lepid opterist in August ..................... 37 Let’s Watch TV, Jimmy, and I’ll Unbraid Your Hair ........ 38 Trapped in the Cable Car ................................ 39 THREE After James Nachtwey ................................ ..... 41 Hysterical Podiatry ................................ ...... 42 vii Plot and Graph ................................ ........... 43 Welcome Back to the Flatlands ............................ 44 Against Avatars ................................ .......... 45 Thumbnail ................................ ................ 46 We Will Wait Un til Everyone Is Quiet Before We Begin ..... 47 We Gallop in Herds on the Island ......................... 48 Pecan Bayou ................................ .............. 49 Thumbnail ................................ ................ 50 Proxemics ................................ ................ 51 Mother of Invention ...............................