he Independent Student Newspaper

Issue 802 Friday 22nd January 2016

Published in Cambridge since 1947 www.varsity.co.uk

5 News: CUSU referendum 7 News: Daniel Zeichner 18 Culture: Women in art 27 heatre: he Forest Grimm

Tab and May SIMON LOCK Ball Presidents GU faces in reviews row Varsity News Team

he Tab Cambridge has emailed the presidents of Cambridge’s May Balls saying that with the exception of Trin- judgement day ity and St John’s, they “will not be giv- ing any free publicity to May Balls this year in the form of reviews.” In an email seen by Varsity, the pa- per’s editors James Wells and Xavier University reviews future of services for graduate students Bisits claim that “perks like free or discounted tickets are one of the only ways we can incentivise our authors”. Presidents were roundly critical of the move, with Derek Chan, Chair of the May Ball Presidents’ Committee (MBPC) for 2015-16, condemning he Tab’s “non-negotiable request” as “par- ticularly irregular and heavy-handed”. Currently, the MBPC maintains a policy of not issuing free or discounted tickets in exchange for reviews. Chan indicated that the committee-wide policy would stand, and all presidents Varsity spoke to concurred. “he MBPC does not agree that the inancial burden of incentivis- ing Tab writers should rest with our event committees,” Chan told Varsity. “Unlike Tab Media Ltd., the running of balls and June events is not for proit.” he President of Emmanuel College’s June Event echoed the sentiment, argu- ing that “given that May Balls and June Louis Ashworth be best represented”. the review is chaired by Professor he Graduate Union has had a events do not make a proit … and that Senior igures referenced problems Graham Virgo, Pro-Vice-Chancellor troubled recent history. Last year’s our income comes directly from ticket Senior Investigations Editor with the organisation of the GU, with for Education. election for GU position, branded sales... giving away free tickets consti- minutes saying that “removal of the he review’s inal report is due to be “irresponsible” by one candidate for tutes a material expenditure”. he survival of the Graduate Union GU from the Charity Commission’s presented to the University Council president, was invalidated after a vote “I have to think of every pound (GU) may be at stake as the university register of charities earlier in 2015 on 15th February. It has been con- “miscount”. he GU lost its charitable spent in terms of value to our guests, review its services. was one of the more recent examples ducted “with a view to making a rec- status with the Charity Commission and I do not believe that reviews are According to an internal document of a series of problems that had beset ommendation to the Regent House” in February 2015 after failing to ile its the most efective way to spend that leaked exclusively to Varsity, the the GU in recent years”. by the end of Lent term. annual accounts. money,” she said. University of Cambridge is undertak- he review is due to focus on “the he Graduate Union’s website Meanwhile, CUSU have formally If the MBPC does not change its ing a review focusing on “whether the question of whether the GU or CUSU states that it “takes concerns” raised announced their intention to seek to policy and ofer free or discounted university should continue to recog- should be recognised as the body to by its members to a “wide range of bring graduate services under their tickets, he Tab editors note that “the nise the GU as the body represent- represent graduate students in the of university committees”, pursues banner. In their Strategic Plan for the only reviews [he Tab] will be doing ing the university’s graduate students future”, according to the document. campaigns, and acts as the “voice” for years 2014-17... are John’s, Trinity and any colleges... and, if not, how graduate students can he working group that is producing graduate and mature students. Continued on page 4 Continued on page 5

INSIDE: ACADEMICS THREATENED, STEPHEN HAWKING, DANIEL ZEICHNER 2 Editorial Friday 22nd January 2016 ‘Change’ or ‘progress’?

For most of us, term is well and truly un- wave of fi nger-pointing. e then presi- news but a series of reports describ- entrench certain ways of thinking. Hang derway. e IN pile is rapidly outgrowing dent of the GU, Arsalan Ghani, faced a ing ever-shifting events? Attitudes and on then, whatever happened to change? the OUT pile, and this is only Week 2! petition with more than 200 signatories ideas, too, are constantly changing. e old, seemingly unchanging rhythm calling for his resignation. To top it all Even simply saying something like “ e While ‘progress’ is often so slow as to be of Cambridge life has returned. off , the GU was deregistered as a charity news this week that the Tate Modern imperceptible, it is only when we reach last year as concerns mounted. has announced its fi rst female director a milestone that we realise how far we Change, however, does seem to be afoot, in Frances Morris is welcome” (page have already come. at is as true of after a week which has seen the revela- What will become of the GU remains 18) seems entirely natural now because milestones, such as the stark realisation tion that the future of the Graduate Un- to be seen, although the timing of the we’ve internalised that way of think- of a historic change like the possible clo- ion is in doubt. e GU’s complex his- working group’s reconsideration of its ing. is is despite the fact that an era sure of the GU as it is for far more posi- tory is worth re-examining. Founded in future is not insignifi cant given the plans in which such a baldly progressive state- tive milestones (see, I’m at it too now) 1954 by the wife of the then Master of for the redevelopment of the Mill Lane ment would have seemed odd or radical like another crack in the glass ceiling. Peterhouse College, in the face of con- site where the GU is currently housed. It is by no means beyond the limits of liv- siderable oppositon from the university, would seem that the university is looking ing memory for some. However, if we decide that it’s a good the GU took its current name and form, to shake things up. thing, change is by no means guaran- after a series of changes, in 1981. Since Reading the news (and moderating our teed. Fresh blood and fresh ideas are then, the ride has rarely been smooth. Shaking things up probably isn’t some- reactions to it) is not wholly instinctive. sometimes necessary if we want to shake thing which springs to mind when we Instead, our thoughts and impressions things up, to stop things from getting en- In 2013, the GU’s constitution was sus- think of Cambridge, an institution which are shaped (for better or worse) not only trenched. at thought may seem to be pended when a subcommittee of the has been dominated by a certain demo- by what we read, but also by the trends at odds with the sort of steady ‘progress’ University Council discovered that it graphic for over 800 years. and patterns we observe in others’ be- we often have in mind. Perhaps the sort had been operating with too few trus- liefs. As readers become writers – a of change we want isn’t so radical after tees. Around the same time, £1000 went Of course, change is what we pick up transition upon which publications such all, and perhaps that’s not a bad thing to EDITORIAL missing from the GU’s safe, prompting a a newspaper to read about; what is the as this are reliant – a feedback loop can realise.

Self-Care group ‘disaffi liated’ amid drugs row

“ is group is not a place for wom-

Vars ty News Team en to get medication. e author has MATTZA isolated specifi c posts (which aren’t that prevalent) and accused members CUSU’s Women’s Campaign have “of- of facilitating a dangerous situation.” fi cially disaffi liated” a Facebook group, While possession of prescription after it was revealed by  e Tab that drugs is not a criminal off ence unless it had been used to share prescription they are specifi cally classifi ed under drugs, among them anti-depressants, the Misuse of Drugs Act, the sale of acne medication and conceptive pills. prescription drugs is limited to those Formerly known as the “CUSU with a prescription from an appropri- WomCam Self-Care Tips” group, it ate practitioner. is used by self-defi ning women and Taking medication for which you do non-binary students to off er advice not personally have a prescription has and share experiences in order to help been branded as dangerous, as many members in terms of self-care – in- drugs come with all manner of grave cluding dealing with mental health possible side-eff ects. Professor Steve issues. However, the group appears Field, chairman of the Royal College of to have also been used to exchange General Practitioners, has previously prescription drugs such as citalopram condemned the sharing of prescrip- and fl uoxetine without a prescription. tion medications, describing how “ e While some have voiced their sharing of drugs in this way is inher- alarm at this revelation, a member ently dangerous because neither the of the group speaking to Varsity at- patient who was fi rst prescribed the tested to the group being “a beautiful medication nor the person now tak- place full of love, support and self- ing them will understand the drug or appreciation.” its side eff ects.” He added that “ ose In the group’s description, its ad- taking them are putting themselves at ministrators requested student jour- risk of harm or even death.” Prescription medications are thought to have been exchanged online nalists not to “write publicly about anything in the group”, stressing that seems dangerous, but members only they would be working with WomCam funding, CUSU has no infl uence over “the group is *not* a public space and ask for a dose of medication in emer- to “ensure the wellbeing of Cambridge the workings and communications of shouldn’t be treated as such”. gency situations, and usually someone students is consistently safeguarded”. the Women’s Campaign”. ere has been an angry response agreeing to help another asks for proof Speaking to Varsity, CUSU Women’s CUSU President Priscilla Mensah since  e Tab published the exposé THE SHARING OF DRUGS IS of their prescription fi rst.” Offi cer Charlotte Chorley said that has previously said that CUSU cannot on Wednesday. Speaking to Varsity, INHERENTLY DANGEROUS In a statement, the CUSU execu- they are “awaiting decisions from the tell its autonomous campaigns and a second-year student and member tive said that they did not endorse moderators of the group as to how will groups what to do, though the CUSU of the group said: “ is a complete messages in the group “as they may they proceed”. executive’s latest statement does “re- violation of privacy. It’s disgusting [...] be counter to students’ wellbeing” However, in a statement, the mind students that help and support putting the members, some of whom On this point, the member of the and that “CUSU exists to defend and Women’s Campaign stressed that the is always available either through the are in vulnerable mental states, shows group who spoke to Varsity said that extend student welfare at Cambridge group “has directional and political CUSU-GU Welfare Offi cer or through a lack of respect and compassion. “I appreciate that on the surface this University”. ey also indicated that autonomy” from CUSU and that “bar the Students’ Unions’ Advice Service”.

E James Sutton @.. M E Callum Hale- omson @.. B M Mark Curtis @.. A E Tom Freeman @ .. N E Joe Robinson & Jack Higgins (Senior), Anna Menin & Harry Curtis (Deputies) @.. S N C Sarah Collins, Daniel Gayne, Elizabeth Howcroft & Siyang Wei C E Ethan Axelrod @.. I E Louis Ashworth (Senior) & Steven Daly (Deputy) @.. C E James Dilley (Senior), Charlotte Taylor, Anna Jennings & Maya De Silva Wijeyeratne @.. S E Nicole Rossides @..  E Imogen Shaw & Meg Honigmann @.. C E Will Roberts & Katie Wetherall @.. T E Eleanor Costello @.. F E Laura Day & Vicki Bowden @.. R E Charlotte Giff ord @.. M E Michael Davin @.. S E Ravi Willder & Felix Schlichter @.. I E Alice Chilcott & eo Demolder @.. O E Charlie orpe & Ellie Matthews C S-E Imran Marashli P E Simon Lock @.. I Ben Waters, Ben Brown, Emma Wood, Luke Johnson V B Dr Michael Franklin (Chairman), Prof. Peter Robinson, Dr Tim Harris, Michael Derringer, Michael Curtis, Talia Zybutz (VarSoc President), Tom Freeman, James Sutton, Eleanor Deeley

©VARSITY PUBLICATIONS LTD, 2016. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. Varsity, 16 Mill Lane, Cambridge CB2 1RX. Telephone 01223 337575. Varsity is published by Varsity Publications Ltd. Varsity Publications also publishes the Mays. Printed at Iliffe Print Cambridge — Winship Road, Milton, Cambridge CB24 6PP on 42.5gsm newsprint. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Offi ce. ISSN 1758-4442 News Friday 22nd January 2016 3 Academics face death threats over Turkey petition Turkish academic in Cambridge describes fear of investigation and arrest by government over peace petition

must challenge the “treason” from Jack H gg ns these “so-called academics”, whom he Sen or News Ed tor described as “ignorant and dark.” He also called on universities to punish these “traitors”. A Cambridge academic has spoken to Following the address, 42 universi- Varsity about how they feel unable to ties are thought to have complied by return home for fear that the Turkish suspending or fi ring 109 people. e government will arrest them because BBC reports that, as of Monday, state PRESIDENCIA DE LA REPÚBLICA MEXICANA they had signed a petition critical of prosecutors have detained “at least” the regime. 18 academics. Reuters have suggested is academic is just one of 1,127 that the number of academics arrested signatories – from 89 universities may be higher than that fi gure. across the world – who have each been A pro-government newspaper has threatened with criminal investiga- published the names of the petition’s tions from the Turkish government. signatories, prompting a convicted e Turkish authorities are report- criminal to issue death threats to the edly seeking to charge the academ- academics, saying he would “let [their] ics over ‘insulting the Turkish nation’ blood in streams” and “take a shower and ‘advocating for terrorism’, both of in [their] blood”. which are listed as off ences within the Speaking to Varsity, a Cambridge Turkish penal code. If convicted, each academic who signed the petition academic could face between one and said that they have had to cancel their Turkey’s President Erdogan called the academics “traitors” for signing the petition fi ve years in prison. plans to return to Turkey because they e petition, under the title “could be detained entering the coun- the petition”, and that “the ones in to lynching for just signing a petition Studies Association, amongst others, ‘Academics for Peace’, voiced criticism try and/or barred from leaving.” Turkey are facing prison, fi ring, physi- for peace is a new low.” have all released letters condemning of continuing government violence cal harassment or worse.” Over 1,000 UK academics have is- the Turkish government. e American against Kurds in the country, and ey added that academics in the sued another petition in response, Anthropological Association, writ- was said to have “angered” President country have “probably committed stating that they are “extremely dis- ing to Turkey’s Prime Minister, said Erdogan. career suicide” by protesting against turbed by Turkey’s recent treatment they wished to “express [their] grave Erdogan’s government have de- the government’s actions against the of academics that have spoken out concern” over the growing “public at- fended their military campaign on INCITEMENT TO LYNCHING FOR Kurds, and that there have been re- against atrocities being committed mosphere of intimidation and threats the grounds that it is targeted against ports of “academics’ doors being by the Turkish state against Kurds.” against academics.” a militant left-wing Kurdish group. JUST SIGNING A PETITION FOR marked and other acts of intimidation, Similar petitions have been organised Turkey currently ranks 149th out However, e Washington Post has al- PEACE IS A NEW LOW unfortunately in some cases from col- in the USA, Canada and Germany. of 180 countries in the World Press leged that the military are perpetrating leagues and students.” Off ering their support to the aca- Freedom Index. Erdogan has faced “direct and indirect violence against While describing this as not uncom- demics involved, the Middle East signifi cant protests and opposition in [Kurdish] civilians.” mon behaviour for the Turkish govern- Studies Association, the British recent years, despite winning the 2014 In an address on Tuesday last week, ey continued by saying that they ment, they added that the “blanket tar- International Studies Association, and Presidential election with over 50 per President Erdogan said that Turkey “know many academics who signed geting of 1,128 people [and]incitement the Central European International cent of the vote.

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The Graduate Union was described as having experienced a “series of problems” University reviews role for Graduate Union

Continued from front page. Act’s guidance for student unions, now... things would have to change for Mahon. “ ey were de-registered as a register of charities earlier in 2015 was ... they listed as a Strategic Target a which states that “appointment to ma- both organisations”. charity, which is a pretty special level one of the more recent examples of a “formal merger with the Graduate jor union offi ces should be by election Asked whether he thought that of incompetence.” series of problems that had beset the Union that protects the autonomy of in a secret ballot in which all mem- CUSU’s sabbatical offi cers saw the “CUSU is actually run properly. GU in recent years”. grad students and grad-specifi c serv- bers are entitled to vote”, saying that university’s review as an opportunity With a grad sabb, the voice of grads Anthony reported that the prob- ices”.  e plan, released before the GU it could create a situation in which a for a power grab, Allen responded won’t get lost in undergrad problems, lems had “distracted the GU from its lost its charitable status, describes the graduate sabb was a minor offi cer, and “Maybe... but for the right reasons. It’s like Chad Allen seems to suggest.” primary function”.  e minutes state situation as there being “two separate not aff orded the same powers as other not a personal thing”. Mahon has previously chaired CUSU that “feedback from Dr Anthony’s own charitable bodies with identical aims members of the sabbatical team. Allen spoke about the need to sus- Council, but chose not to speak in that college suggested that the GU was not and membership”. tain representation, pointing to the capacity. performing adequately”. Furthermore, CUSU’s Strategic Plan increasing numbers of graduates, who Sources within CUSU have told states that the GU “has consistently have made up the majority of the full- Varsity that the university’s review stumbled from crisis to crisis over the time student intake since 2010. may have created a rift within CUSU’s past decade”. “In fi ve or 10 years’ time, it could sabbatical team. “I think we’re united CUSU President Priscilla Mensah I DON’T THINK THE ANSWER IS be that graduate students are the vast HOW CAN SUCH A MESS OF in our shared interest that graduates told Varsity that a joining of the two MERGING THE GU WITH CUSU majority,” he said. need robust and eff ective represen- bodies would involve “potentially  e leaked document noted the AN ORGANISATION POSSIBLY tation”, said Mensah, but recognised merging some of the practical ways need to “consult with the graduate that “we’re all individuals”. She said that CUSU and the GU could work student community by inviting com- REPRESENT GRADUATE she would “never speculate” as to what together”. “I’m not saying it’s impossible that ments from JCRs and MCRs by email conclusions the review will reach. “I don’t think the answer is merging would work,” Allen said. “I think that’s on the questions to be considered by STUDENTS PROPERLY? At a meeting of the Council the GU with CUSU,” said Chad Allen, a very compromised situation for a the review group, by a deadline in Committee for the Supervision of who was elected as GU President in a graduate sabb to fi nd themselves in”. December”. the Student Unions (CCSSU) in by-election following the invalidated Mensah disagreed with Allen’s vi- Robinson MCR President Maxine “It is important for graduate stu- September last year, it was recorded election last year. He raised questions sion of combined services, empha- Lamb told Varsity that “feedback from dents to have their own representa- that the GU and CUSU, as well as about how the two organisations could sising that a merger would require a our MCR members has shown very tion due to their needs being diff erent Cambridge’s JCRs and MCRs, have be practically merged, saying that “the wider restructuring of CUSU. She told mixed feelings on the subject”. from those of undergraduates,” said “received the worst score in the UK only thing I’m not open-minded to is Varsity that if the university chose “We feel we could have had fur- Lamb. “However, the benefi t of hav- for students’ satisfaction with their just having a graduate sabb in CUSU”. to cease to recognise the GU “CUSU ther consultation and more informa- ing a distinct body solely for graduates students’ union”. He pointed to the 1994 Education could not look the same way it does tion from the university than what is lost when that body is not well run  e resolution of a debate from May we did receive,” Lamb said. “We were and does not provide the support that last year describes how there “had informed about the ‘Survey on rep- graduates require. We are concerned been a concern that the GU was pro- resentation of graduate students’ in that, despite the improvements the posing to withdraw its funding of the the GU bulletin last December and current GU President is promising, post” of joint CUSU/GU Welfare and JOE ROBINSON through various other email lists... the lack of resources and personnel the Rights Offi cer. there has been little other informa- GU currently has has made it some-  e minutes of the CCSSUU meet- tion from the university itself and thing of an uphill battle for them.” ing state that “following discussions very little background explaining why A spokesperson for the university over the summer with the CUSU of- it was being conducted was provided said: “ e review is ongoing and the fi cers, the GU had agreed to continue with the survey. Furthermore, to our fi nal report is due to be presented to to fund its share of the costs of the knowledge, to date there has been no the University Council in Lent term.” joint post”. feedback to students on the outcome  e minutes from a University  is week saw the installation, after of this survey”. Council meeting on 19th October last some delay, of a door into the offi ces Lamb claimed that MCR members year show that Dr Richard Anthony, of CUSU, the GU and 17 Mill Lane. were concerned that if CUSU took on Bursar at St Edmund’s, reported on Both bodies have spoken to Varsity the responsibility for mature students, the topic of the GU. about the frustration caused by stu- there may be a reduction in “the qual-  e minutes of that University dents being unable to physically have ity of the services they currently pro- Council meeting state that “ e access to the student services they of- vide” because CUSU is“primarily un- Committee had been disappointed that fer. “It’s very hard to provide services dergraduate focused.” no member of the GU Trustee Board when you have to direct people half- Brendan Mahon, speaking as had been able to attend the meeting way through a building to get to see St Edmund’s Combination Room to respond to the Committee’s serious you,” said Allen. President, criticised the Graduate concerns about the governance of the Until the fi nal report is presented to Union heavily. “How can such a mess GU in person.” the University Council next month, it of an organisation possibly represent  ey also said that “ e removal of seems that a question mark will hang 17 Mill Lane, which houses both CUSU and the GU graduate students properly?” said the GU from the Charity Commission’s over the Graduate Union. News Friday 22nd January 2016 5 Tab accused of being ‘underhand’ in May Ball ticketing row

Continued from front page... the reputation of the event, creates LISA ... colleges seeking publicity in the hype and facilitates ticket sales in fu- form of a sponsored article”. ture years”. Chan told Varsity of his disappoint-  e President of Emmanuel’s June ment at this stance. “We are dismayed Event went on to tell Varsity that she that an editor of e Tab implied his found the paper’s conduct to be “un- intention to block pro bono review professional”, adding that “it seemed submissions from publication,” he said. underhand to approach colleges di- e Tab’s editors have confi rmed that rectly when our policy had been they stand by their view. clearly set out centrally. Approaching  e Presidents of the Trinity presidents individually felt like a tactic College May Ball issued a joint state- to undermine that coordination.” ment affi rming: “It is not the Trinity She also described how she felt that May Ball’s policy to provide free or “the bulk of the email itself read very discounted tickets, beyond those giv- similarly to messages sent to past pres- en to our charitable partners and our idents requesting free tickets.  e only committee.” novelty is the promise not to review A student at Newnham College said colleges which do not off er tickets. that by only reviewing Trinity and St “As far as I know, Emmanuel hasn’t John’s May Balls, e Tab were “per- off ered free or discounted tickets to petuating the pomposity of the only press in the last three years, and have two colleges who could probably af- nonetheless received reviews.” e ford to give them free tickets”. Tab’s editors maintain that they have been off ered free tickets to events such as Selwyn Snowball in the past. In a statement to Varsity, e Tab’s editors said: “We are concerned that IT’S ARROGANT AND Derek’s support for a ban on commit- tees being able to issue press tickets UNETHICAL is harming the norm in Cambridge of newspapers including e Tab being St John’s May Ball fireworks able to review as many events, balls Citing its status as “the most read and plays as possible. their high output. out openly the problems that this ban we believe we have a duty to our read- student newspaper in the UK” in their “We don’t expect a review’s ticket “General practice in the UK is to has for journalism in Cambridge. ers to cover the most popular May email to the May Ball presidents, e to every event or even most events, give reviewers’ tickets, stimulating “We can’t force anyone to give us Balls irrespective of the committee’s Tab’s editors argue that “a review by but without reviewers’ tickets, it is far discussion, adding to the event expe- reviewers’ tickets, of course, but we ban.” e Tab is, of course, very valuable”, more diffi cult for newspapers like e rience and even giving free publicity do hope to encourage the committee Speaking to Varsity, a student at quoting the site’s page view fi gures and Tab to incentivise busy students to put to the event in question. Rather than to remove its ban for next year. We Homerton College said, “I doubt most the benefi ts they claim a good review an eff ort into covering events, particu- getting committees to break the rules strongly believe committees should students paying for May Ball tickets can bring to an event. larly the less well-known balls. Indeed, – as has been done in the past under be able to make their own decisions with three fi gure price tags will appre-  ey claimed that students “pride the reason why many students join e similar agreements by newspapers like about ticketing. ciate e T a b trying to use its infl uence themselves on making it into [their] Tab is the knowledge they may receive e Tab, if indeed the policy existed “We will be making an exception in to blackmail organisers for free tickets. photos”, and that “a good view upholds such tickets, which is an incentive for beforehand - we would like to point the case of Trinity and John’s because It’s arrogant and unethical.” CUSU to hold referendum on full-time Disabled Students’ Offi cer

If successful, the Disabled Students’ Joe Rob nson Offi cer will join the President, Sen or News Ed tor Education and Deputy President, Access and Funding, Coordination JOE ROBINSON and Services, Student Support, and CUSU have announced a referendum Women’s Offi cers as annually elected, on the creation of a full-time Disabled paid positions. Students Offi cer (DSO) to be held later  ose eligible for the role will be this month. “ordinary members who self-defi ne as  e referendum was triggered by disabled”, just as those eligible for the a petition by the CUSU Disabled existing full-time position of Women’s Students’ Campaign (DSC), which Offi cer are self-defi ning women. reached 350 signatures, the threshold Up to now, the Disabled Students’ to be passed by the CUSU Constitution Campaign has been one of fi ve au- before a referendum is triggered. tonomous campaigning bodies within  e petition accused the university CUSU.  e other four are the BME, of discriminating against students with International, Women’s and LGBT+ disabilities through “inadequate men- campaigns. It is the newest campaign tal health support, a lack of staff train- of the fi ve, and was created as the “voice ing, and a university that is inaccessi- of disabled students” at Cambridge. ble in its physical layout as well as its Self-identifying disabled students teaching and examination structures”. made up 7.2 per cent of the full-time It stated that the creation of a student body, according to a survey full-time DSO is needed in order to last year, whereas 26.6 per cent iden- “challenge these deep institutional tifi ed as black and minority ethnicity problems”. (BME). Under the existing CUSU budget, Concerns have been raised, how- a Disabled Students’ Offi cer would be ever, on the value for money off ered paid £20,000 per annum, in line other by a full-time sabbatical offi cer dealing The proposed sabbatical officer would earn £20,000 sabbatical offi cers. with disabled students’ issues. When the petition closed, a spokes- person for the Disabled Students’ Executive, told Varsity that “the op- others, but this discussion needs to be balance of the debate, and of the short Campaign called it a “landmark success portunity costs need to be considered had.” time-scale of the campaign before that refl ects the long-standing need to carefully”. He added: “Even before the During Monday’s CUSU Council the referendum, CUSU Coordinator address the structural, attitudinal, and DSC petition/campaign arose, one meeting, CUSU President Priscilla Jemma Stewart told Varsity that physical exclusion experienced by dis- THE OPPORTUNITY COSTS of my working hypotheses was that Mensah addressed the contentious “CUSU Elections Committee is com- abled students at Cambridge”. CUSU might benefi t [from] more sup- issue of individual JCRs and MCRs mitted to running a fair, accessible and  e plebiscite which will take place NEED TO BE CONSIDERED port staff (rather than more sabbatical campaigning for either side of the democratic referendum”. on 27th January will be made up of CAREFULLY offi cers to deal with admin work) […] referendum. She also said that CUSU will be a yes/no vote on the question: “Do It is clear that it is not feasible to cre- She expressed a desire for a “weight- holding a debate on the referendum you accept the proposed constitu- ate sabbatical positions for all autono- ed conversation” to be had, and added which will be live-streamed online on tional changes, which would add a mous campaigns.  is has to be taken that “hopefully [those wishing to ex- 26th January at 7 p.m. Disabled Students’ Sabbatical Offi cer Cornelius Roemer, President of into account to ensure fairness among press a particular view] would be hap- Voting will take place on 27th to the CUSU Full-Time Elected Offi cer Trinity College Students’ Union and campaigns.  ere may be good reasons py to comply”. January for 9 a.m. till 9 p.m., and re- Team?” a member of the CUSU Part-time why the DSC should get a sabb but not Addressing concerns about the sults will be announced the next day. 6 News Friday 22nd January 2016 Hawking warns that humanity faces VC forging disaster from man-made threats India links Jack H gg ns Dan el Gayne Sen or News Ed tor Sen or News Correspondent

NASA HQ PHOTO  e Vice-Chancellor (VC) of the Uni- versity of Cambridge has agreed to Professor Stephen Hawking has consider co-operating with the And- warned that in the next 10,000 years hra Pradesh – a state in India – gov- humanity will face destruction by ernment in the fi eld of education. threats of its own making. Chief Minister Naidu today met Sir Professor Hawking was doing a Leszek Borysiewicz in Davos to discuss Q&A when he was asked the probing education.  e meeting took place at question: “Do you think the world will the 46th World Economic Forum sum- end naturally or will man destroy it mit in Switzerland. fi rst?”. In response, the Gonville and Cauis fellow noted that: “We face a number of threats to our survival from nuclear war, catastrophic global warming, and genetically engineered viruses. TRANSFORM ANDHRA “ e number is likely to increase in the future, with the development PRADESH INTO A “CENTRE OF of new technologies, and new ways EDUCATION” things can go wrong. “Although the chance of a disaster to planet Earth in a given year may be quite low, it adds up over time, and Prof. Hawking has warned that “we face a number of thrats to our survival” Naidu’s conversation with the VC becomes a near certainty in the next stems from a desire to transform thousand or 10,000 years. Andhra Pradesh into a “centre of edu- end of the human race.  is is not the fi rst time Prof. study in Cosmology at Trinity Hall cation.” Borysiewicz has agreed to send “However, we will not establish self- Hawking has opined on the ominous. in October 1962. Until 2009 he was a delegation to the Indian state in order sustaining colonies in space for at least Previously, he warned of the risk of Lucasian Professor of Mathematics. to consider whether working together the next hundred years, so we have to humans being wiped out by their own  e talk, delivered at London’s Royal would be desirable.  is is not the last be very careful in this period”. artifi cially intelligent inventions, and Institution, delved into Hawking’s time the Vice-Chancellor has made the HOW CAN THE HUMAN RACE However, there was a note of op- the threat of more intelligent extra- research into black holes, which he headlines in relation to India. SUSTAIN ANOTHER 100 timism when Hawking, Research terrestrials. described as “stranger than anything Last term it was reported that the Director at Cambridge University’s In 2006 Hawking posted this open dreamed up by science fi ction writers”. Indian Prime Minister - who faces alle- YEARS? Department of Applied Mathematics question on the internet: “In a world  e lecture series, which has in the gations of human rights abuses - would and  eoretical Physics, added that: that is in chaos politically, socially and past featured Jeff rey Sachs, Bertrand visit Cambridge on Borysiewicz’s invi- “We are not going to stop making environmentally, how can the human Russell, and Edward Said, will be tation, which prompted an open letter “By that time, we should have spread progress, or reverse it, so we have to race sustain another 100 years?”. broadcast on Radio 4, with Professor from academics criticising the invita- out into space, and to other stars, so a recognise the dangers and control Hawking has been affi liated to Hawking’s fi rst lecture going out on tion for having “gravely compromised” disaster on Earth would not mean the them.” Cambridge since he took up graduate 26th January at 9 a.m. the “reputation” of the university. Cambridge PhD student could be Mars-bound

Kaya Wong suddenly seemed realisable. After that encounter, MacDonald Sen or News Correspondent had his sights set on the European Space Agency, anticipating the mo- NASA HQ PHOTO Ryan MacDonald, a 22-year-old theo- ment when they open applications retical astrophysicist at Gonville and again in the 2020s. Caius College pursuing a PhD in As-  e typical minimum requirements tronomy, could potentially be going on for astronauts are a science PhD and/ a one-way trip to Mars. or three years of relevant research Over 200,000 hopefuls around the experience or, alternatively, a BA in globe applied for the coveted 24 spots Science and 1,000 hours as a jet pilot. as Mars One crew, and MacDonald is  ree years after meeting Major amongst the fi nal 100 candidates in Peake, in April 2013, Mars One opened the selection process. its applications. An unexpected op-  is September, he will go through portunity for MacDonald to realise his a two-week assessment that will deter- interstellar dreams had presented itself mine whether he will be one of the as- and he grasped it with both hands. tronauts settling on the fi rst colony es- “Sure, I thought, the chance of be- tablished beyond planet Earth. While ing accepted would be small, but how the prospect of a one-way trip to an- could anyone turn down the chance to other planet might seem intimidating, be one of the fi rst scientists on Mars?” it does not faze MacDonald. Getting this far in the selection “I’ve been fascinated by space for process was no easy feat – the inter- as long as I can remember,” he said. view round was particularly daunting The British astronaut was a major inspiration to MacDonald “But as a young aspiring astronaut in as it tested the candidates’ ability to the ‘90s, there were few positive role apply large quantities of newly learnt models to look towards, since the information in unfamiliar contexts. Mars, the passionate astrophysicist he also runs outreach activities for conferences, a TEDx event, and was UK’s offi cial policy discounted human “We were provided with a cart-load has relished the chance of meeting younger audiences and is currently even recently accepted into a profes- spacefl ight.” of information concerning past mis- other candidates on the project. He fi nishing a near-future hard science sional speaking organisation.  e Mars One programme aims to sions to Mars, the Martian environ- has met 26 of the current 100 candi- fi ction novel.  rough being part of MacDonald admits that what fuels take the ‘next giant leap for human- ment, technical aspects of the life dates in person, and feels honoured to the Mars One project, he has been of- his passion is the legacy the project kind’, proposing to establish perma- support systems and the colonisation be counted amongst them. fered various opportunities to inspire will bequeath, noting that he was “fas- nent human settlement on the red plan, amongst many other topics.” “I’ve met candidates with back- others through public speaking, and cinated by the scientifi c potential but planet, with the fi rst crew to depart in MacDonald’s interview was conduct- grounds in aerospace engineering, he agrees that the experience of doing it’s the inspirational potential that re- 2026.  e project is spearheaded by an ed by Dr Norbert Kraft M.D., a NASA medicine, law, sustainability, physics, so has enriched him as a person. ally drives [him]”. elite team of eight, including a Nobel award winning expert in Aerospace astronomy…  ey are an incredible “For me the absolute highlight has When asked to off er advice to aspir- Laureate, an astronaut and a former Medicine, which MacDonald admits bunch of people that represent a di- been the fantastic educational plat- ing youngsters, he said: “Identify what NASA Chief Technologist. was ‘terrifyingly tense’, but also an verse cross-section of society. form my status as a candidate has af- is that one thing in life that you are It was not until he had the chance to ‘incredible opportunity’ as it was a “Oh, and Neil deGrasse Tyson and forded me, to speak to schools around passionate about more than any other, speak with Major Tim Peake – the fi rst chance to speak to a distinguished fi g- NASA Astronaut Mike Massimino the world about space, planetary sci- then pursue it relentlessly.  e only Briton to walk in space – at the launch ure in the fi eld of human spacefl ight. also Skyped me on TV, so there’s that!”, ence, human missions to Mars and ca- limits in life are self-imposed, so chart of the UK Space Agency in 2010, that Even though he knows he might not MacDonald revealed. reers in STEM.” your course, chip away at the obstacles, his childhood dreams of spacefl ight end up being one of the scientists on Aside from being an academic, He has also spoken at international and you will get there in the end”. Friday 22nd January 2016 News 7 Zeichner: ‘Britain’s position is an accident of history’

Tom Freeman because they were “a bit scared” of the “having the stuff ”. potential electoral consequences to do “ e distance between the real Assoc ate Ed tor otherwise. world and that is very great indeed,” Prendergast claimed the elector- he said. TOM FREEMAN Daniel Zeichner, the Labour MP for ate had been sold a “delusional belief” However, he said the country could Cambridge, has reiterated his opposi- over the issue. be under no illusions about the exist- tion to the UK’s Trident nuclear weap- Zeichner accused the Prime ence of regimes hostile to the UK. ons system, but conceded that the po- Minister’s position on Trident to be “I am not a pacifi st,” he said. “ e sition is politically compromising. “very far from the truth”, and called Labour Party is not a pacifi st party, In an event hosted by King’s Cameron and his party’s performance and is not about to become one.” Review and chaired by Christopher at Prime Minister’s Questions “regu- Despite this, he reiterated his belief Prendergast, Professor Emeritus in larly pathetic… when these are serious that his party could convince the pub- French, who at the start of the event and profound issues”. lic to scrap the nuclear deterrent. Zeichner appeared at King’s College made clear he was not acting as a He also accused Cameron and the “I do not think that to win an elec- “neutral moderator”, Zeichner con- Conservatives of “trotting out… the tion we have to run the old argu- such media coverage illustrated the claiming that the idea they are an ef- ceded: “We’re putting ourselves in a kind of stuff you see in Sun headlines”. ments about Trident,” he said, narra- “shallowness” of the arguments pre- fective deterrent against North Korea vulnerable position politically”. Arguing that the 2015 election il- tives which he accused the media of sented for Trident renewal. had “zero credibility as a military po- e Shadow Transport Minister lustrated that the party “still can’t repeating. He praised ornberry for be- litical decision”. approvingly noted of his statement take on Murdoch and win elections”, “A lot of this to me feels from a dif- ing “very astute” to raise the issue of Zeichner echoed his sentiment, before his election that his position he criticised the print media for be- ferent age,” he said. “As far as the pub- Trident as part of the country’s long- arguing that it was “completely irra- on Trident renewal was “not quite ing “pretty biased” and conceded that lic and the media are concerned… we term defence policy. tional” to believe Trident aff ected how what my party’s is”, concurring with the argument to scrap Trident could are digging up something from 30 Conceding that Jeremy Corbyn’s po- the North Korean regime operated, Prendergast that “not quite” meant be lost because of a “diffi cult” media years ago and replaying it.” sition “didn’t work for us in the 1980s” an argument that assumes the North “exactly not”. environment. He also claimed that the public were and that the current debate handed an Korean government was a “rational “ ere has to be nuance in your “ is is the beginning of a debate “reviled” by the idea of Britain follow- opportunity, he supported the belief regime”. presentation, but you’re exactly right,” that frankly the popular media has ing an American agenda, and con- that this was the “fi rst opportunity in In response to Prendergast’s conten- he said. “Going around saying your not started at all”, a situation he called curred with Prendergast when he said: a long while” Labour might off er a dif- tion that the logic of deterrence means party is rubbish is not the best way to “ludicrous”. “It is not obvious to me in what sense ferent stance on Trident renewal, and that nuclear proliferation should be win an election.” He also admitted he “can’t remem- we can plausibly describe our system hoped that the public would support encouraged, Zeichner compared the However, he said that this “per- ber” whether the previous Labour as independent.” this. situation to arguments made by the haps isn’t true” for Labour voters in government had reduced the number “By and large, we see America as our roughout the event, Zeichner American right about gun ownership. Cambridge who, he argued, were “fed of submarines from four to three. ally,” Zeichner said. But he claimed that reiterated his longstanding belief that “It’s the same argument that Donald up with politics as it was before”. Currently all four Vanguard subma- we might wonder whether this would the weapons’ eff ectiveness as a deter- Trump and Sarah Palin make,” he said. He said Cambridge’s status as “a rines are in service, as the 2006 white still be the case if Donald Trump got rent was dubious, citing his presence ‘“If we all have guns, we’re safer’.” progressive city, an intelligent city” paper proposing reduction was never into power, which he said would be a on marches against nuclear weapons He also compared Britain’s position meant its voters were more receptive adopted. “very frightening time”. in the early 1980s. as a former empire to Austria who, he to arguments in favour of scrapping One questioner raised the possi- Jeremy Corbyn and Emily “I didn’t believe it then, and I don’t argued, in the 1980s believed Britain’s Trident. Arguing that voters in other bility of reducing the number of sub- ornberry, the Shadow Defence believe it now,” he told the mostly non- attitudes towards its own infl uence constituencies were more likely to be marines to two, so the deterrent was Secretary, had been “derided and lam- student audience. “I think I’ve been were “quaint”. sceptical, he said it was “not surpris- not permanently at sea. In response, pooned” in the press for the sugges- very clear I’m not voting for renewal.” “It all depends on where you’re sit- ing” that some of his Labour colleagues Zeichner criticised those who were tion that “Trident isn’t the only option Prendergast, however, argued ting,” he said. “Britain’s position is an continued to support Trident renewal “obsessed” with military hardware and available,” Zeichner claimed, but that more forcefully against the weapons, accident of history.”

Raspberry Life Pilates Class Monday 5pm-5.45pm Cambridge Union Society, 9A Bridge St, CB2 1UB Standard: £6.99 Students: £4.99 Book a place: [email protected] Pay on the day. No membership necessary. . Raspberries included! 8 News Friday 22nd January 2016 Union hosts sexism in business event Uni seeks female constables Ellie Howcroft Senior News Correspondent Joe Robinson CHRIS WILLIAMSON Building on the success of last term’s Senior News Editor BBC 100 Women event, Cambridge University’s Women in Business Soci- he University of Cambridge has put ety (CAMWIB) collaborated with the out a job advert for more women to Cambridge Union Society on Monday join the University’s 30-strong team of to host a forum on the problem of in- constables. stitutionalised sexism in business. he university is looking to redress he panel was made up of four the gender balance which states that women from the worlds of busi- they “particularly welcome applica- ness and academia: Bella Vuillermoz, tions from women for this vacancy as the founder of Sky’s ‘Sky Academy’ they are currently under-represented initiative; Ines Wichert, a doctor of at this level in our department”. Organisational Psychology who has he successful candidate must be written on the role of women in the able to “communicate with a wide workplace; Pinky Lilani, owner of range of people and keep calm in chal- Spice Magic, and lawyer Charlotte lenging situations”. Proudman, who rose to prominence he Cambridge University last year after speaking out about her Constabulary, made possible by the experiences of sexism on LinkedIn. Universities Act 1825, is among the oldest police forces in the United Kingdom. As a non-Home Oice po- lice service, they are appointed de jure by the Chancellor and Vice-Chancellor, THE ONLY THING YOU GET IN but are in practice appointed by the – the feeling of not being good enough blueprints but instead create our own. to increasing the number of women in University’s Proctors’ Oice. LIFE WITHOUT ASKING IS AN for your working environment – while With the topic moving to the issue senior roles in business through quo- According to law, they have “powers Vuillermoz spoke of the tribulations of a ‘work-life balance’, Wichert ar- tas, with arguments that more women and authorities, privileges, immunities, INFECTIOUS DISEASE associated with being “an ambi- gued that we should really be talking in senior roles has positively impacted and advantages as any constables hath tious workaholic with perfectionist of ‘work-life integration’, stating that on the running of businesses and con- or shall have within his constablewick” tendencies”. the two are indistinct. She added that cerns that change may not happen if – that is, within a four-mile radius of Much of the discussion was ori- hroughout, the panellists related women’s place in the workplace will it is not enforced. hroughout, the the precincts of the University. ented around the challenges and ob- their individual experiences to the not change unless male attitudes both audience was encouraged to combat Until the 1960s, the Proctors and stacles faced by women during the practicalities of the business world, at home and in the workplace change. sexism by pursuing their goals with the Constabulary conducted regular course of their career, with Vuillermoz speaking of the importance of men- With regards to the question of wheth- single-mindedness and determina- street patrols within the university’s characterising women’s career ladder toring those below you whilst look- er women can ‘have it all’, Wichert sug- tion, and that women should never be precincts. as a “jungle gym”. ing to senior colleagues for advice and gested that this was a personal ques- afraid to ask for what they want. As However, they no longer actively pa- Speaking of the diiculties faced by support. Lilani, related personal an- tion that needed to be deined by each Lilani expressed it, “the only thing you trol the city’s streets and operate on a women in the workplace, Proudman ecdotes from her life and argued that individual for themselves. get in life without asking is an infec- reactive basis when disorder or dem- talked about “imposter syndrome” we should not follow other people’s A lively discussion followed relating tious disease.” onstrations are expected. Cambridge house price growth #Match4Lara gets outpaces rest of the country PMQs mention Although prices may be rising rap- “representative of a market that is be- Siyang Wei idly, the numbers of residential prop- coming more competitive”, in what he Anna Menin Senior News Correspondent erty sales in both Cambridge and characterised as an “environment of Senior News Correspondent London are expected to be lower, as rising demand and limited supply”. BBC PARLIAMENT House prices in Cambridge increased the scarcity of homes coming onto the Jeremy Duncombe, Director of he #MatchforLara campaign has con- at the highest rate in the country last market as well as their decreasing af- Legal & General Mortgage Club, tinued to gather large amounts of sup- year, outpacing even London. fordability limit the overall number of added that increasing house prices port across the country, in the wake of According to a report released yes- homes that can be sold. “demonstrate that housing demand is a major recruitment drive for stem cell terday by Hometrack, the UK’s lead- Richard Donnell, Hometrack’s continuing to exceed supply, pricing donors in Cambridge last week. ing residential property market spe- Insight Director, said: “With cities the potential buyers out of the market. he campaign was launched fol- cialist, the average value of a home in focus of economic and demographic “he signiicant disparity between lowing the diagnosis of 24-year-old Cambridge rose from £348,000 to just change, it is no surprise that city-level the prices of homes in diferent ar- Lara Casalotti with leukaemia in backgrounds, and similar shortages under £400,000, an increase of 14.4 house price inlation continues to eas of the UK is particularly concern- December 2015, and her family’s dis- of donors from ethnic minorities are per cent. run ahead of UK house price growth, ing as it forces people to buy further covery that her brother Seb, a student common throughout the world. he report measured the growth which has also risen to 7.9 per cent. away from their irst choice location, at Magdalene, was not a match. his means that only 20 per cent rates and average prices for 20 major he performance of house prices or move to a property which may not hey were then informed that ind- of people from black, Asian and eth- cities in the UK; London, in second across these cities relects the scarcity best suit their speciic needs, poten- ing a donor match would be very dif- nic minority backgrounds who need place, experienced an annual growth of supply and underlying demand for tially disrupting their lifestyle. icult because of Lara’s hai-Italian a stem cell transplant will ever ind a rate of 13.8 per cent, followed by homes”. “More houses need to be built heritage. She is undergoing intensive perfect match. Bristol with 12.8 per cent his analysis was echoed by Adrian around UK cities to enable people to chemotherapy at University College Ann O’Leary, Head of Register However, average house prices re- Whittaker, Sales Director at New live in their desired areas.” Hospital, London, but inding a match- Development at Anthony Nolan, de- main highest in London, pushing up Street Mortgages, who comment- he rising demand may be fuelled ing stem cell donor is her only chance scribed Lara as “a truly inspirational to £455,000 this year. ed that the high rate of growth is by property investors, whom the re- of survival. and selless young woman”, and em- port shows made one in ive of all resi- Since the campaign’s launch, it has phasised that “somewhere out there, dential purchases last year. attracted widespread support, with there’s a potential lifesaver who could Mr Donnell further commented: Tulip Siddiq, MP for Lara’s home con- give her a lifeline by donating their “Cambridge, Oxford, and London stituency of Hampstead and Kilburn, stem cells”. have been pretty much on the same asking David Cameron to “send a She also claimed that what “many trajectory for quite some time. message of support to those work- people don’t realise how easy it is” “here’s been a lot of new hous- ing to keep Lara alive” at PMQs on to join the register, stressing that “it ing in the Cambridge area, such as at Wednesday, which he did. simply involves illing in a form and Advertise with us Trumpington Meadows, and between he Anthony Nolan charity, which providing a saliva sample”, and that “If 30 and 40 per cent of the sales in recent supports those with blood cancer, has you’re one of the privileged few who times have been new-built homes. seen a ive-fold increase in the number goes onto donate, 90 per cent of the To advertise in any of our print publications or on our website, “here’s also been a lot of employ- of new applicants to its register since time this will now take place via an please contact our Business Manager ment growth... and that is fuelling the launch of the campaign, which it outpatient appointment”. Telephone: 01223 337575 housing demand. It’s also true to say described as “unprecedented”. Lara’s brother Seb has urged peo- Cambridge is a kind of extension of Currently, only 0.5 per cent of do- ple to sign up, saying: “there’s no time Email: [email protected] London, just an hour up the railway nors on the Anthony Nolan register to put this of or think ‘I’ll do it next line, so prices are going to relect are from East Asian backgrounds, week’. hat could be too late for Lara. Website: www.varsitypublications.co.uk that.” with 1.5 per cent from European Please do it today.” Friday 22nd January 2016 News 9 News in Brief Acclaimed author EMERGENCY IN LIBRARY, STAY OUTSIDE SKELETON MOVES TO OXFORD MAN FOUND DEAD IN LOCAL HOTEL to become Lucy UL evacuated Oxford gets Murder probe Cav fellow Scottish author Ali Smith will be join- ing Lucy Cavendish College as an hon- in fi re scare another fossil at Varsity hotel orary fellow in late January. A fellow of the Royal Society of Literature, Smith  e University Library was evacuated Having spent 165 million years in A man, thought to be in his 20s, has was awarded a CBE in 2015 for on Tuesday amid a fi re scare.  e fi re Cambridgeshire, a rare plesiosaur been found dead at the Varsity Hotel services for literature, having also alarm sounded with an evacuation skeleton named Eve will be moving to and Spa in Cambridge. won the Baileys Women’s Prize of the entire building following. One the Other Place.  e 5.5 metre-long  e deceased was found yesterday for Fiction and the Goldsmiths eye witness said that staff told those skeleton will be housed in a museum, at the hotel, which has housed notable Prize and the Whitbread Novel present that the evacuation was not and was originally discovered by ar- fi gures over the years, including David of the Year. Her speech on 21st a drill. Students were made to wait chaeologists working in the north of Beckham last May. January, entitled ‘On Not outside, while a sign was placed say- Cambridgeshire at Must Farm – where Cambridge News has reported that Giving a Talk!’, sold out very ing “emergency in library, please stay Cambridge archaeologists recently the body is believed to have been quickly and will celebrate outside”. discovered a Bronze Age settlement. found in the hotel’s penthouse. Robert Burns. CHRIS BOLAND

PROFESSOR COMMUNICATES WITH CROWS MINISTER DEFENDS CORBYN AT CULC e Week in Numbers e crow Shadow minister visit How Cambridge performed among UK univer- whisperer A Cambridge professor has claimed to Luciana Berger, Britain’s fi rst Shadow 13th sities placed in international outlook rankings be able to communicate with crows on Minister for Mental Heath, visited a BBC panel show. Cambridge on Wednesday in order to Appearing on Would I Lie to You?, raise the profi le of the issue of mental Nicola Clayton claimed to be teaching health, particularly in light of a NUS Number of May Balls e Tab Cambridge comedian Ben Miller how to “talk to study in December that showed a ma- crows”. As a professor of comparative jority of students suff er from mental 2 is willing to review without free tickets cognition, Clayton is an expert on the health issues. evolution of crows and their unique During both her Union appearance intelligence. and a Q&A after with Labour Club She told Cambridge News that “I am members, she spoke about the op-  e salary CUSU would pay if new Dis- really interested in how crows com- portunities the role aff ords her, and municate without words, but quite a defended the leadership of Jeremy £20,000 abled Students’ Offi cer is created lot of people have got in touch about Corbyn. it since”.

OUTLINING New Career! YOUR SUCCESS Make Their Future—Your Future

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Attorney Advertising - For purposes of compliance with New York State Bar rules, our headquarters are Sidley Austin LLP, 787 Seventh Avenue, New York, NY 10019, 212 839 5300; One South Dearborn, Chicago, IL 60603, 312 853 7000; and 1501 E-mail: [email protected] / [email protected] K Street, N.W., Washington, D.C. 20005, 202 736 8000. Sidley Austin refers to Sidley Austin LLP and afiliated partnerships as explained at www.sidley.com/disclaimer. Prior results do not guarantee a similar outcome. to book a place or follow us on Twiter:@bpscit 10 News Friday 22nd January 2016 UK has the most outward-looking Eight places for ‘East End universities in the world, new rankings show Eton’  e United Kingdom has emerged as Imperial College London was placed than the least deprived. Harry Curt s the world leader in terms of outward- tenth in the list of 200 institutions Dan el Gayne  e schools have also been criti- Deputy News Ed tor looking universities, according to worldwide, heading up an impressive Sen or News Correspondent cised from other quarters for allowing rankings released by the Times Higher contingent of eight British universi- too much religious infl uence, and even Education (THE) supplement. ties in the top 25, which also included Eight students from a free school in perhaps extremist infl uences. Oxford, UCL, KCL, LSE, Queen Mary one of the most deprived areas of the  e success of the LAE in helping and Queen’s University Belfast. UK have received off ers from Oxford deprived students achieve has been UK universities took nearly two and Cambridge. commended, with the Sunday Times thirds of all places, the University of  e London Academy of Excellence, naming it the ‘best sixth form in the Cambridge coming in as the world’s nicknamed the ‘Eton of the East End’, country’. thirty-sixth – and the UK’s thirteenth outperformed a number of fee pay- – most international university.  e ing public schools, including Prince rankings were based on the THE’s Charles’ alma mater. most recent “international outlook” Some of the off er holders will be the data, which is calculated by how good fi rst in their families to go to university a university is at attracting students and all of them come from immigrant £30,000-PER -YEAR Looking for work and staff from abroad – measured by families. By comparison, £30,000-per the ratio of international-to-domestic -year Gordonstoun received only one GORDONSTOUN RECEIVED students and staff , as well how much off er this year. this summer? “international collaboration” is under- One of 400 free schools approved ONLY ONE OFFER THIS YEAR. taken at an institution. for opening in England by the 28 June – 13 August 2016 To determine “international collab- Coalition government between 2010 oration”, the THE “calculate the pro- and 2015, the Academy is located just But there have been some sugges- The University of Cambridge International Summer portion of a university’s total research a few minutes from the Olympic Park tions that success has been achieved at Programmes is ofering challenging paid work for journal publications that have at least in Stratford. It is a highly competitive the price of overly rigorous admissions one international co-author”. institutiob, with 2,500 applicants vy- and expulsions policy. Cambridge undergraduate and graduate students.  e top three most outward-look- ing for only 200 places. In 2014, West Ham MP Lyn Brown As one of a team of nine Cambridge Student ing universities according to these Free Schools are a type of non-prof- investigated the LAE after they were latest rankings are Qatar University, it academies, funded by the state but criticised for “culling” underperform- Assistants you’ll need customer-care and the University of Luxembourg and the not controlled by a Local Authority. ing AS students. Some students com- University of Hong Kong. Despite some successes, free schools plained after they were “kicked out” administrative skills, initiative and tact. Interestingly, none of these – and remain controversial. for achieving grades too low to apply only two of the top ten – comprise Backers have argued that local com- for Russell Group Universities. For full details and an application form, the top ten of THE’s broader scoped petition would drive up standards and  e Academy did not tell students World University Rankings.  e increase choice, whilst critics suggest- about this policy when they applied, call network: 60850 or 01223 760850 California Institute of Technology and ed that middle class parents and pri- instead notifying them during their the University of Chicago, respective- vate companies are more likely to be time studying at the academy. or email: [email protected] ly fi rst and tenth in the broader rank- the ones to set up such schools. When asked, headmaster John Closing date for applications: 21 March 2016. ings, both fail to make the top 200 in However, think tank Policy Weeks said the academy’s success was terms of international outlook. Exchange reported in 2015 that free simply down to “expert teachers who schools are eight times more likely to love their subject and sixth-formers be in England’s most deprived areas with the mindset to succeed”. Spider-Man could not exist, Cambridge Oxford isn’t daunting to researchers fi nd ‘Hogwarts generation’

Anna Men n their school’s average or in relation to Ol v a Ch lds their socio-economic background. Deputy News Ed tor News Correspondent Responding to Khan’s comments, a

GAGE SKIDMORE spokesperson from the University of Oxford’s Director of Undergraduate Cambridge said that it invites “every- Spider-Man’s wall-climbing abilities Admissions and Outreach, Dr Samira one who has a realistic chance of be- are impossible for humans to repli- Khan, has suggested that students ing off ered a place” to interview, and cate, new research from researchers at from disadvantaged backgrounds are that “If a student has a good examina- Cambridge has found. now unlikely to be put off applying to tion record and a favourable reference, A study conducted by scientists in Oxford because of its long history as they are likely to be invited to attend Cambridge, Australia and the USA they have “grown up with Harry Pot- an interview”. has shown that without “impractically ter”. large sticky feet” and 40 per cent of our Speaking to the Times Educational bodies covered in sticky footpads, hu- Supplement, Khan claimed that mans wouldn’t be able to climb walls Oxford’s “grand dining halls” are of- as Spider-Man does. ten “compared to Hogwarts”, and that  e researchers compared 225 dif- students from the “Hogwarts genera- OXFORD’S “GRAND ferent species, looking at the weight tion” are often “really excited” about and footpad size of frogs, lizards, spi- Study shows that Spider-Man’s ability to climb walls is impossible the prospect of the university’s many DINING HALLS” ARE OFTEN ders and insects in hopes of developing traditions, saying that “they are prob- large-scale, bio-inspired adhesives. less body surface available for sticky larger animals are able to stick, by ably more familiar with it than we give “COMPARED TO HOGWARTS” Despite looking at many diff er- footpads”. having stickier footpads. Christofer them credit for”. ent species, Dr David Labonte from Clemente, a co-author from the Students “recognise the benefi ts of University of Cambridge’s Department University of the Sunshine Coast, [a] small college community, the grand  e spokesperson claimed that of Zoology notes “their sticky feet are notes that in some closely related spe- tables, talking about current aff airs — “throughout the admissions decision- remarkably similar”. cies “pad size was not increasing fast that’s what we want them to embrace making process, we assess a package He added, “When this happens, it’s enough to match body size yet these and take ownership of”, she added. of evidence... as well as contextual in- a clear sign that it must be a very good IMPRACTICALLY LARGE animals could still stick to walls”. She also claimed that students from formation about applicants.” solution”. “We found that tree frogs have disadvantaged backgrounds who are  ey added that Cambridge “works However, geckos are the largest ani- STICKY FEET switched to this second option of mak- predicted three A grades at A-level hard to raise aspirations among dis- mals able to scale vertical walls, and ing pads stickier rather than bigger. It’s were “more likely” to be invited to in- advantaged groups and to widen par- as the size of an animal increases, the remarkable that we see two diff erent terview than their more advantaged ticipation both at Cambridge and in amount of body surface per volume For a human to achieve the same evolutionary solutions to the problem peers, because of Oxford’s use of con- higher education in general”, and that decreases, meaning the amount of thing they would need “shoes in of getting big and sticking to walls”. textual data. Khan said that this data is it “runs 4,000 widening participation sticky footpads needed to support the European size 145 or US size 114,” Labonte stated that there is still most often used when Oxford reaches events”. animal increases. says Walter Federie, from the same interesting work to be done concern- a “threshold point”, when it becomes  e spokesperson also claimed that Labonte explained that “ is poses department. Humans would need 40 ing the strategies animals use to make diffi cult to distinguish between dif- Cambridge provides a “great deal of a problem for larger climbing ani- per cent of our body to be covered in their footpads stickier. “ ese would ferent applicants according to their information about applying to and mals because, when they are bigger sticky footpads, or 80 per cent of our likely have very useful applications in grades. studying at Cambridge online, includ- and heavier, they need more sticking front. the development of large-scale, pow- For instance, the applicant’s exam ing fi lms which aim to demystify the power, but they have comparatively However, there is another way some erful yet controllable adhesives”. results can be considered in relation to interview process”. Friday 22nd January 2016 Science 11 Hawking: Nobel Prize? Cracking down on cocaine addiction

W ll am Dorrell conditions.  ere were fears that this Soter s Soter ades might gobble up the planet, even elic- Sc ence Correspondent iting a Hawaiian court case against the Sc ence Correspondent European Organization for Nuclear

Stephen Hawking is already the proud Research. In reality, as Hawking him- In recent decades, there has been a PETER LLOYD-WILLIAMS owner of a very comprehensive CV. self explained as a punchline to a joke vast improvement in our understand- Being played by Eddie Redmayne in an at a recent talk, “the black hole would ing of drug action in the brain.  is Oscar-winning portrayal of your life disappear in a puff of Hawking radia- includes cocaine, which is the sec- is not a bad start; combine this with tion – and I would get a Nobel Prize.” ond most frequently used illegal drug ground-breaking science, an inspiring His latest publication, released in worldwide, after cannabis. However, ordeal with motor neurone disease, brief in 2014, concerns the black hole despite knowing the basic neurobiol- and cameo performances in the Big information paradox, a problem fi rst ogy of cocaine action in the brain, sci- Bang eory and e Simpsons and posed by Hawking in the 1970s.  is entists are still working hard to under- you’d think there wasn’t much more is a confl ict between two big hitting stand how this translates to addiction to add. However the Nobel Prize, in- ideas.  e fi rst is that on a fundamen- and what the determinants of cocaine- dicative of success in science, remains tal scale the laws of physics are revers- seeking behaviour are. elusive – unless his most recent paper ible, so information at one point in the Here’s a quick intro. changes that. past can theoretically be recovered. Neurotransmitters, as most of you  e Nobel Prize is traditionally However all this information is guz- may know, are substances that neurons awarded in sciences only when the the- zled down by the black holes and emit- use to communicate with each other. ory is backed by experimental results; ted as a stream of Hawking radiation,  ere’s an important category of neu- The science of addiction is incredibly complex this has been diffi cult for Hawking in which the information disappears. rotransmitters called monoamines, whose area of interest is black holes Hawking’s answer, in the recently which include dopamine, noradrena- Pavlovian conditioning that involves you crave it, the more you change your and cosmology. Trying to gather data released “Soft Hair on Black Holes” (a line and serotonin. When they are reinforcement of the behaviour by behaviour in order to satisfy this crav- about these is near impossible, leaving paper currently without peer review), released, they excite or inhibit other drug-related stimuli. ing, until it becomes second nature. Hawking Nobel-less. is that the information is at least par- neurons but they are ultimately taken Wikler’s 1948 theory of relapse Not only can you not control it: you Black Holes sucking in nearby light tially stored in the deformities in up back into neurons via monoamine characterises addiction as the com- may not even realise it! and matter are a familiar concept: are- space-time.  ese appear as a luscious transporters, which terminate their pulsive avoidance of severe physical Dr Belin showed through a second as of such high gravity that the normal head of ‘hair’, streams of zero-mass action. Cocaine blocks these trans- withdrawal symptoms. Cocaine, how- study that N-acetylcysteine (NAC), a rules of physics stop applying.  ey are particles surrounding the Black Hole. porters, particularly the dopamine ever, does not cause prominent physi- drug used to treat paracetamol over- either formed by the collapse of high  is paper provides the possibility of transporter, causing dopamine to cal dependence. Instead, the drug is dose, might help addicts overcome mass stars or have existed since the a testable hypothesis that could fi nally fl ood the brain and elicit agitation more involved with psychological their addiction by decreasing activ- Big Bang and vary massively in size. earn Hawking a Nobel Prize. and euphoria. Drugs are initially tak- withdrawal symptoms, mainly feelings ity in the reward pathway described  e smallest are as small as an atom  e jury is still out on the likelihood en because the increase in dopamine of craving. However, statistics have above – but only if they are deter- but have the same mass as a mountain of this.  e ‘hairy’ mechanism and a causes feelings of pleasure. Eventually, shown that six out of ten cocaine ad- mined to quit.  is study is still in the while the largest have the mass of four practical way to observe the phenom- the reward circuitry adapts to the in- dicts relapsed for reasons other than clinical stages, so I wouldn’t depend million suns, for example the super- enon are still very unclear, but don’t crease in dopamine and develops tol- craving the drug. on endorsing that treatment just yet. massive black hole around which our underestimate Stephen Hawking. erance, meaning that you need more What could be causing it then? It What both of these studies hint is entire galaxy orbits. He has often exceeded expectations dopamine each time to experience the was previously thought that relapse is that prolonged cocaine intake causes Hawking’s most famous contribu- before. same amount of pleasure.  is even- caused by reduced control of the fron- cocaine-seeking behaviour to shift tion is the proposal that Black Holes tually leads to addiction, character- tal lobes, namely the prefrontal cortex. from goal-directed (under voluntary are decreasing in mass through the re- ised by chronic compulsivity. However, a new study led by Dr Belin control) to compulsive (involuntary). lease of Hawking Radiation, and previ-  e main reward pathways in- from the University of Cambridge  e fact that addiction is due to lack of ously this was thought to be his best volve the striatum and the amy- has discovered a new component of control is nothing new, but the pros- bet at a Nobel Prize.  is describes gdala, structures found buried the reward pathway that bypasses the pect that our brains can be control- the release of radiation from a black deep in the hemispheres. In a study prefrontal cortex, connecting the ba- led by drugs even under the level of hole, slowly decreasing its mass over using mice, it was shown that brain solateral amygdala (associated with consciousness is frightening for those millions of years.  is emission of activity during the initial goal-direct- emotional experience) with the dor- who want to quit. radiation increases as the black hole ed phase of cocaine seeking was dif- solateral striatum (associated with However, research in the area is far becomes smaller predicting a burst of ferent to that of cocaine seeking that habitual behaviour).  is means that from over. Hopefully, in the near fu- energy from low mass black holes. has become habitual and chronic. feelings of craving are essentially un- ture, scientifi c knowledge will allow us However, attempts to measure this Goal-directed cocaine seeking is conscious – the drug addict may not to invent both remedies and, more im- have so far proved futile. Potentially associated with activity in the baso- be aware of their desire to take the portant, means to prevent addiction

the Large Hadron Collider could cre- LWP KOMMUNIKÁCIÓlateral amygdala and the core of the drug.  is seems like a vicious cycle: from occurring in the fi rst place. ate a tiny black hole in controlled nucleus accumbens, in the form of the more cocaine you take, the more

‘Mummy Brain’: How having children can increase cognitive function

your lunch in the fi ling cabinet and interview with a research group increases brainpower. In rodents, which regulate stress and the ability your papers in the fridge – this might who found that overall brain volume for example, females with off spring to cope with change. Interestingly, not be the whole story. In some actually shrank during pregnancy are better at learning and problem the male parents underwent exactly cases, ‘mummy brain’ may well boost – although the researchers also solving than females that have never the same hormonal and behavioural cognitive ability after childbirth. pointed out that brain size quickly given birth, with one 2014 study changes as the females, perhaps returned to normal afterwards. fi nding that maternal rats are more because both male and female owl  e actual biology behind ‘mummy effi cient predators.  is makes sound monkeys help care for their off spring. brain’ is still largely under-explored, Unfortunately, these studies focus evolutionary sense, since an enhanced with notable exceptions, including exclusively on pregnancy; that is, ability to catch dinner would help So it turns out that the old cliché a feature earlier this month in New they don’t look for long-term changes to ensure the off spring’s survival. of ‘mummy brain’ is inadequate. Scientist.  is is set to change, though, in brain function that continue after Pregnancy and childrearing seem and a breakthrough in understanding childbirth. One exception was a 2014 For female rats at least, the presence to have lasting eff ects on the pregnancy’s eff ects on brain function study of memory function in both of off spring acts like an ‘enriched brain, but at least some of these could be a medical godsend for the pregnant and postpartum women. It environment’, providing a source of eff ects may enhance cognitive 10 per cent of new mothers in the UK claimed to fi nd no evidence of memory novel experience to stimulate neural functions essential for all aspects NEUROPOP suff ering from postnatal depression. problems, but this is diffi cult to activity and challenge cognition of life. Higher-order cognition and We are also long overdue for a interpret because none of the women (which, unsurprisingly, sounds enhanced problem-solving abilities with cultural breakthrough: assuming that had been given memory tests before exactly what young children do to are, after all, equally at home at the having children is bad for the brain is becoming pregnant. Also, some of their parents).  e biology behind CEO offi ce as they are in the nursery. Joy simplistic at best and harmful at worst. the muddle-headedness attributed to this is thought to involve a process ‘mummy brain’ probably results from called ‘reproduction-induced Thompson It’s true that there is scientifi c independent physiological stress, neuroplasticity’, where nerve cells evidence for memory impairment which is diffi cult to control in a in the brain start forming new ‘Pregnancy brain’ and its postnatal during pregnancy. Most of this relies clinical study. Living with a newborn connections. Hormone levels also play

relative, ‘mummy brain’, are supposed on standard memory tests, and while often involves a chronic lack of sleep – a role, even after birth: a 2008 study WALKER KITT to be common, if unwelcome, side not all the results are completely and sleep deprivation turns anyone’s of owl monkeys found that parents eff ects of childbearing. However, clear, pregnant volunteers tended brain to mush, children or not. performed better on memory tests while women do report memory to have more trouble with some and adapted better to new situations lapses or trouble concentrating tasks (such as verbal memory) than Meanwhile, there is more and more than non-parents.  ese behaviours during pregnancy – imagine putting the control groups. Back in 1997, evidence from behavioural studies in correlated with changing levels of New Scientist itself published an animals that reproduction actually the hormones DHEA and cortisol, 12 Interview Friday 22nd January 2016 varsity introducing like to do something with it. in a state you can’t be creative. And Why poetry, rather than short then you try, and it’s really bad, stories or...? and you feel worse. I fi nd poetry better suited to the What are your main poetic sentiments I want to express and the infl uences? ways I want to express them. Poems You don’t - they’re slightly fragmented. Unless sit down and think, I really like Emily Berry, it’s a prose poem, there are generally “I want to write a poem who’s writing now. line breaks, these odd breaks in them. about this”? She writes about the ey’re almost like a collection of IMOGEN CASSELS is a second- experiences of a modern fragments, even if they make sense. I year English student at Caius. She is a I can’t do the sitting down woman, which I can don’t know whether I think in a more previous winner of the Foyles Young thing, I’ve tried. I always force really relate to. But fragmented way... I defi nitely speak Poets competition, and her poetry has it and it never ends well. It’s in terms of poetry, I in it [laughs]. So that appeals to me, been published in Ambit magazine. really weird, but a line will always worry about and there’s more scope to put pretty just pop into my head. I don’t reading a poem and images in there, and I’m a sucker for think that I think in words; I thinking, “I’m going pretty images about the sea. If there’s When did you start writing poetry? don’t notice myself thinking in to write a poem like a nice image of the sea, I love it - I’m words generally, but I must do a this”, because it’s incapable of thinking critically of it. Probably when I was about nine bit, because I look at something sort of plagiarism... or ten. I really liked the Chronicles and then my brain will just I think I’d be very And birds... of Narnia books, so I’d write little describe it in words in a weird tempted to just poems about griffi ns and unicorns. way and I’ll think, “Oh, hang on, steal a line and And birds and fi re and stars. Prose... ey were awful! I still have them, that’s a good line”. I keep looking change the when I was little I had lots of ideas though. I don’t like getting rid of stuff . at it and thinking about it, and CHRISTOPHER MERGEN words in a way for adventure and fantasy stories, hopefully more lines will emerge. that isn’t really OK. ere but it’s always fi lling in the middles, What do you write about now, as en I just run to the nearest bit of are OK ways of taking a poem and you know, the evenings around the opposed to then? paper or computer and try and hold the sea, because writing in a similar form. e Denise campfi re... what are you gonna say it in my head all the way and then do I like the sea... it’s fairly Levertov poem “What Were ey about that? I could always imagine It’s come a long way from the things with it. Sometimes there’s not abstract and weird. I worked on it Like?” is wonderful - the fi rst stanza is the battles, the exciting bits, but unicorns! e poet Helen Mort said enough to spin something out of, but with Vahni Capildeo [Poetry Fellow questions and the second is answers, you’ve got to fi ll it in. my poems were “ways of seeing”, generally there is, which is always at Murray Edwards]. Last summer and the answers are very abstract and which I found very fl attering, because surprising. term I wasn’t writing and felt very sad and weird... It’s beautiful. I think Do you see yourself as a I love John Berger’s book [of the same depressed about not writing. I went using a form like that is fi ne. professional poet in the future? name]. I like not being set to a certain What’s the best poem you think to her and she said, “Well, you know, path, seeing things from diff erent you’ve ever written? you don’t write to be published, you I really like going to art galleries... It’s not really a job, certainly not any angles. I worry a lot, “do I have a write because you want to write.” ere was a really good exhibition at more. I don’t think it ever really has voice as a poet? Do I have a poetry My favourite poem of mine at the the Tate Modern about Surrealism, it been a job... you need something policy?” But I don’t, you don’t have to. moment is a poem called “ e Fire So do you fi nd writing therapeutic? had loads of Picassos in it and it was to do with your time. But I think in You can just look at things in diff erent Manifesto”. I wrote the poem when wonderful. I went twice, and, without the future poetry is the only defi nite ways. I like noticing small things I didn’t get in to Magma [poetry Rarely, I think. e annoying thing intending to, I started writing really thing I know I want to do... Being an that people say, or do, and generally magazine] and I was really upset about feeling very down about not small vignettes - because it was a academic is not going to happen, so fi ctionalising them or expanding on so I went outside and BURNED A writing is that it doesn’t actually help Surrealist exhibition they didn’t really I’ll just work in a bookshop. them in a fi ctional way. FLOWER. [laughs] I ended up just you write. People are right when they make any sense, but I really liked looking at the looking at that burning say that poetry often comes out of them! ey don’t have a narrative, so Imogen was talking to Alice Chilcott So is that how you start a poem? fl ower, and thinking about that and sadness, but I think when you’re just it’s a fairly static kind of series, but I’d

James Hoare: North Korea “doesn’t actually have an atmosphere of fear” Minnie Crampton speaks to the academic, historian, and former envoy to Pyongyang about ththee country’s future

fter North Korea shocked the system is not really working”. e fact concern is China – what China might the border in and out of the country. ciety, it needs a wider distribution” world earlier this month with that North Korea has been living with do, and how China might threaten He tells me: “the problem is about and because of this he en- A its detonation of an H-bomb, sanctions since the Korean War with- the United States’ interests. I thought change as change is dangerous visages small progres- Dr James Hoare – in Cambridge to ap- out too much discomfort suggests to this 20 years ago as it was quite clear for the leadership.” sions in civil liberties pear at e Marshall Society – asserts him that a diff erent approach should [then] that China and the US had Despite the harsh re- occurring in the that this was not the game-changer it be used. drifted apart after the collapse of the ality of the regime, he near future. was initially feared to be. Soviet Union – but, rather than spell is optimistic about the So, he says, now Whilst allaying concerns that this that out [the US chose to] pick on… growing number of is an opportune could have been a turning point in North Korea.” mobile phones, DVDs moment for the North Korea’s nuclear programme, he Hoare stresses that China’s infl u- and bicycles that are iinternational n t e r n a t i o n a l believes that it “does show that they ence in North Korea is pivotal and that crossing the border community to intend to carry on with their nuclear THE PROBLEM IS ABOUT its leniency in the last decade towards from the south and engage diplo- programme; that they are working to CHANGE their nuclear programme is fuelling providing increased matically with develop a viable nuclear weapon of the U.S. worries that China is pur- mobility and commu- North Korea – some sort and that presumably means posely upsetting the global balance of nication to ordinary cit- as the seeds of not just that it will go bang, but that it “So what do you do in the end? power. With its support from China, izens. However, he warns change begin to will go bang where they want it to.” Personally, I think you engage and he argues, the country is actually in a that “if it [information take root within Hoare believes that the unanimous negotiate – I don’t think the North relatively secure position. and technology coming this Orwellian condemnation from the U.N. Security Koreans are going to give up on their “It doesn’t actually have an atmos- and going across the state. Council is not enough, as this third nuclear programme… so what you phere of fear – there are clearly deten- border] is going test during Obama’s Presidency is could do is get them to freeze the pro- tion camps and people do disappear… to change evidence that world leaders have not gramme”. He seems relatively optimis- but for the majority of people that isn’t sso- o - been able to subdue the regime. tic at the prospect that the Kim regime what they experience... Pyongyang Because of this, Hoare remains may accept this proposition as it did is a special case; what you see in sceptical over the use of sanctions, once before, in 1994. Pyongyang is not what you see in the pointing to the fact that these have not I was keen to ask him about the view rest of the country… it is a privileged previously been compelling: “the pres- that U.S. inaction was a refl ection of city, its where there are facilities sure of sanctions is not nearly as great Washington not seeing North Korea which don’t seem to operate in other as it might be as long as there is this as its biggest East Asian threat – that places. But I’m hesitant to say this is channel through China; if you look instead their condemnation of the lat- the most terrible place on earth”. at what’s happened in North Korea est test was more directed towards In recognising the existence of during the period since it started its Chinese expansionism and eff orts to detention camps and surveillance of nuclear programme, the reality is that support North Korean stability. its citizens, Hoare asserts that a sig- it has not been stopped from import- “I could go along with that as an nifi cant threat to the maintenance of ing even luxury goods… the sanction explanation, I think that the real U.S. the regime is information crossing

JAMES HOARE Comment Friday 22nd January 2016 Comment 13 In defence of maintenance grants

he House of Commons has essential means of support for many the government are out of touch with that will create problems for students. recently decided to scrap the students who would not otherwise be their people and have failed to fully Further policies, such as the Teaching T maintenance grant, a system in able to aff ord to go to university. e assess the real impact these cuts will Excellence Framework (TEF) which place to ensure equal fi nancial footing government are seemingly ignoring have. will rank universities on the quality for undergraduates. At the majority of students’ and parents’ concerns alike of their teaching and allow tuition British universities, maintenance loans about the potential damage this cut fee increases, are causes for concern. barely cover accommodation costs, will cause, and appear incapable of Metric systems such as graduates’ in- meaning that the grant is unquestion- understanding the struggles it could come, the foundation of this system, ably valuable in providing support for create. Poorer students may now leave will have the potential to transform a large number of students. With the university with over £60,000 of debt, THE GOVERNMENT ARE OUT OF higher education into a market, and current tuition fees situation, mainte- which will only act as a further deter- also reverse years of access work at nance grants help to ensure equality rent from pursuing higher education. TOUCH WITH THEIR PEOPLE the University of Cambridge. We may of opportunities and access, dispelling University choice may become in- no longer be able to tell students that fi nancial disadvantage. creasingly infl uenced by the cost of Cambridge will cost the same as any is detrimental cut would perhaps the area, the distance from home and In the National Union of Students’ other university, thereby entrenching be more justifi able if it seemed that the length of the course, rather than (NUS) survey of those receiving main- perceptions of the University as an Idel Hanley the government had seriously thought being led by personal course prefer- tenance grants, 52 per cent said it was elitist institution. it through and considered how a sys- ence and university calibre. e ad- absolutely essential to their university is wider context of the govern- tem of alternative funding would be ditional fi nancial burden of scrapping attendance, and a further 30 per cent ment’s higher education policies, and implemented. For students, the ac- maintenance grants also undermines claimed it was important or very im- the undemocratic processes they are  e government tion would seem more reasonable if the idea that one might want to go to portant. It appears the government using to implement them, is revealing the government had had a full par- university for the enjoyment of educa- have ignored serious concerns about about the government’s perception knows the price of liamentary debate, and voted on the tion. e cuts appear regressive, at- the cost of living, the pressure to get of education. Education should be issue democratically. tacking the poorest amongst our stu- holiday jobs, and the need to support accessible to everyone, and based on everything but the Instead, the Tory government are dent body, and causing a step back in family at home. is, combined with merit rather than privilege. Education pushing for an ill-informed scrapping equal access to higher education. the seemingly undemocratic process is a fundamental right, and in no cir- value of nothing of the grant. It was passed through e government have justifi ed their used to pass these cuts, will spread cumstances should this right be un- the House of Commons without action by claiming it will bring in distrust in the government. dermined. It seems the government proper debate by a committee of 18 money to remedy the defi cit. However ese cuts are not the only major are trying to turn the higher educa- MPs, of whom ten voted for the cut this makes little sense, as the govern- change that the government is try- tion system into a market, students and eight against. Although over half ment are also claiming that students ing to implement, nor is it the only into consumers and education into a million students in England receive will pay back the same amount regard- measure introduced in a seemingly a commodity. e increase in tui- maintenance grants, a group of 18 less of the change. e government’s underhand way. e changing of the tion fees started this gradual process, MPs somehow have the power to de- single-minded aim of reducing the terms and conditions of current loans, and everyone, regardless of fi nancial cide their future. defi cit at any cost is merely shifting together with the proposal of increas- support, should be concerned about e maintenance grant is an the debt onto the individual. It seems ing fees in line with infl ation, are ideas where these changes will lead. Ignore the Brexiters: e EU still has value

his is a reply to a Comment citizens of European countries as well comes from Britain itself. Some of it (96), quite accurately refl ects the pro- piece published last week in as refugees. Let us not forget that a lot comes from Germany, some from portions of the population of each T Varsity entitled ‘Why it is time of those people are freezing right at France, some from Luxembourg, member state. e British MEPs have to break the Brexit taboo’. e article Britain’s doorstep, in Calais. some from Estonia, and so on. Instead all been elected in a free, equal and started quite promisingly: “70 per On the author’s economic argu- of listing the many European funding public election in 2014. Every British cent of 18-24 year olds [think] that ment, some things should be set schemes of which the UK has been citizen aged 18 and above had the we should remain in the EU“. Great in perspective. e author claims benefi ting in the past, I will name just right to vote – quite democratic, I news! Unfortunately, as on many that three of the world’s four largest one, the European Research Council think. What is more worrying from a other questions, generations are di- economies, ranked above the UK ac- (ERC) grants. Of the 372 ERC con- democratic point of view is that only vided. e same ORB poll claimed cording to the IMF, are not part of a solidator grants in 2015, worth €713 36 per cent of all eligible voters made that only 38 per cent of those 65 and supranational union. But with its free million in total, 86 have been given to use of this right. older would like to stay. Interestingly, fl ow of people, goods, and capital, the UK research institutions. is ranks Nobody ever said that the EU those who still have a life with the EU EU should correctly be considered the United Kingdom fi rst among all would instantly be the best working ahead of them seem to like the idea, one single economy. In fact, cumula- 24 receiving countries. ese grants supranational union. Well, right now Fabian Stephany and I guess this applies to the major- tively the European Union comprises have gone to leading researchers at it is the only one in the world which ity of Cambridge students, too. Dear the largest economy in the world and top universities, and 12 Cambridge works. But it is certainly not going to author: how and why would you like is growing. e author seems to hold projects were funded by the ERC improve if everybody just complains to change your generation’s mind? the opinion that the EU is holding consolidator scheme in 2015. about it or tries to leave. To all the Like most Eurosceptics, the author Britain back, unable to handle today’s advocates of the ‘British Exodus’: the Although the EU refers to four main issues, namely: problems. e reality is quite the con- European Union is YOUR Union, migration, economics, bureaucracy, trary: membership of the EU is the too. Whenever you dislike its rules or has its fl aws, leaving and democracy. only realistic way for its members to its rulers, why don’t YOU do some- e author’s main argument with cope with the demands of the mod- thing constructive about it? Pointing it won’t solve our regard to migration is that the in- ern world. Make no mistake, no sin- GET INVOLVED, DON’T the fi nger is the fi rst step, but after creasing number of EU citizens in gle country in the EU – not Germany, TURN AWAY that protest, get involved and don’t problems the UK is keeping non-EU migrants not France, and not the UK – would turn away. If the toilet in your house away. It is cynical to claim that the have the bargaining power to negoti- is clogged, what do you do? Do you stream of legal EU migration leaves ate, face to face, at the WTO tables or move out, or do you put the rubber no space for those fl eeing from con- with the US in a TTIP deal. Lastly, the author‘s main complaint gloves on? For sure, some things need fl icts which are “uncomfortably inter- Bureaucracy appears to be one of is that the Union is undemocratic, to be improved in our community in twined with historic British foreign the sceptic’s favourite topics. “…there since fewer than 10 per cent of the order for it to function more demo- policy”. What keeps those migrants is no such thing [as EU money]. It is MEPs are British. It is correct that of cratically and effi ciently. So don’t run away is not EU legislation; it is the simply our money which is given back the 751 MEPs, only 73 are British. at away: open your mind and think not English Channel and a miserable UK to us”. Of course, some of the money ranks the UK third, together with Italy what Europe can do for you, but what immigration policy, which excludes which the UK receives from Brussels (73) after France (74) and Germany you can do for Europe! 14 Comment Friday 22nd January 2016

An outdated weapon: what’s the point of Trident?

his year, the debate over disparate groups of international Secretary of State in the United States theoretical ability to burn part of the Britain’s nuclear deterrent will dissidents often haphazardly thrust as I have just had in my discussions ... planet and a reputation for charg- T be held seriously for the fi rst under the umbrella names of single We’ve got to have this thing over here ing blithely into Middle Eastern war time since 1987, thanks to its sched- terrorist organisations to persuade whatever it costs... We’ve got to have zones? Or the use of those immeas- uled renewal and Jeremy Corbyn’s vic- ourselves that the old adage about the bloody Union Jack on top of it.” urable billions to fund functioning tory last year.  e issue was raised in snakes’ heads and dying still has some Since then Britain has been reduced healthcare and education? Rather an Andrew Marr interview on Sunday relevance. A nuclear weapon cannot to the role of the archetypal teenage than trying to keep ourselves in the and elicited the usual self-styled be utilised against a terrorist group boy, desperately straining to impress list of the world’s most psychopathic ‘moderate’ scoffi ng at a man deranged which is ensconced in local citizen- its cooler peers by bragging, in this nations, why not use the resources to enough to think we should not re- ries. It would be like shooting needles case, about how many innocent peo- improve our international ranking in tain the capacity to fry the skeletons out of a haystack. With an RPG. ple it can kill. education, in which we currently lan- of millions of people. But in spite of And an expensive RPG, at that.  e  is is the paradox of Trident. To guish in 20th place? the useful stereotype of the bearded, Ministry of Defence, which is notori- call for its abolition is considered in- One comparison illuminates the lefty, pacifi stic CND member, there is ous for making breezy underestimates herently unpatriotic, thanks to this contrast between the status quo and right-wing support for jettisoning the of its projects’ costs, has announced entanglement of our prowess in tech- a nuclear-free future. It is a custom Trident programme, notably from that it will need to spend somewhere nological military development with that every few years the American journalist Peter Hitchens, whose between £17.5 billion and £23.4 bil- our sense of national prestige. Yet President comes and patronises Sam Harrison conservative credentials Mussolini lion simply on renewing Trident. On this manifestation of Britain’s pitiful the sitting Prime Minister, praising would fi nd diffi cult to deny.  us I top of that, the cost of maintaining post-imperial hangover is a suppu- Britain for our role in supporting them would like to commit an act of left- the equipment over the course of its rating embarrassment on display to in their pointless wars around the wing apostasy, and off er a case for forty-year life is reckoned to be £57 the whole world. More than this, the world. But in the recent Democratic You don’t have to scrapping Trident to appeal to those billion. eff ect of Trident on the national con- debate, the nation assumed a new po- be a hippie to think of a centrist, and indeed a patriotic, Why, then, are we considering sciousness is both palpable and perni- sition in the American consciousness persuasion. squandering billions on a militarily cious. It persuades us that we remain when Bernie Sanders asked why it Trident is a waste of Trident has no strategic value. In useless project?  e answer lies in a global power, and this entails con- was that Britain spends half as much 2009, a group of retired military of- our history. From the very beginning, stant meddling in the aff airs of others. as the USA on healthcare, yet off ers resources fi cers signed an open letter declaring the nuclear deterrent’s purpose has Relinquishing Trident would be sym- it free to every citizen.  e Britain of that “Nuclear weapons have shown been to maintain some semblance of bolic of a new direction for Britain, the future will either be a half-tragic, themselves to be completely useless British prestige even as greatness slips one of ceasing to blunder into deli- half-risible imperialist shadow, or a as a deterrent to the threats and scale like sand through the nation’s fi ngers: cate international situations and in so shining example of mature unilater- of violence we currently face or are witness the famous early justifi ca- doing making ourselves the deserved alism and humane healthcare. And likely to face.”  is conclusion is hard- tion from Ernest Bevin, that “I don’t focus of the world’s disdain. it is worth asking: which is the truly ly staggering. War today is waged not want any other Foreign Secretary of What will truly enhance Britain’s patriotic vision? between nation-states, but against this country to be talked to or at by a international reputation?  e Friday 22nd January 2016 Comment 15 Misogynistic jokes are a minefi eld

ack in December, CUSU Wom- of the Year-nominated boxer who infi ltrated the ranks of our relatives, an ‘edgy’ sense of humour. en’s Offi cer Charlotte Chor- sparked the discussion with charm- our managers at our Saturday jobs It’s tempting to get a bit snobbish Emily Bley was asked ‘who’s making ing comments like: “I believe a wom- and, god forbid, even our lecturers. and think that in Cambridge, every- lunch?’ by a BBC Cambridgeshire an’s best place is in the kitchen and So it isn’t as obvious to the rest of us one is far too educated not to have radio presenter. is was in an in- on her back”. Stainton claimed his as Stainton might assume that he was these sorts of attitudes for real. So, Bailey-Page terview which happens to have been joke was clearly meant in mockery of joking. it’s only satire, right? e drinking centring on the meaning and ramifi - these sorts of attitudes, and meant to Apparently, meaningless jokes societies and swaps, it’s all very meta, cations of... fl ippant sexist comments. show complicity with Chorley. And can actually have a very meaningful right? And if anyone takes off ence, At this point I will leave space for a so the familiar accusation arises that impact on people’s attitudes. Who it’s their fault for being over-sensi- weighty ironic pause, so feel free to feminists, alongside other social jus- knew?! ere’s a reason why bullies tive, right? take this time if you need to put the tice campaigners, don’t get the joke use jokes to humiliate their victims. No. Even if you’re very confi dent kettle on or indeed get back in the and are irrevocably devoid of a sense By getting others to laugh along, the of how enlightened you are, and you kitchen and make a sandwich to of humour. bullied feel more alone. e humour don’t really believe a woman’s place launch into the face of your nearest However, for it to be obvious that often relies on an unspoken subtext: is in the kitchen, of course you don’t available chauvinist. Stainton was joking, it would have to you’re a loser, no one likes you, you think rape is funny. But unfortunately Someone once said that examining be obvious at face value that he didn’t look funny, and this subtext is even there’s a high chance that the woman the way a joke functions is like pulling share this point in any way. Stainton more powerful for being left unsaid. hearing your joke has heard it before, up a fl ower to see how it works. You could of course quite easily not be a Once you have identifi ed these sub- except from someone whose misogy- can see the roots, but unfortunately raving misogynist, but that doesn’t texts, you may feel very clever, and ny turned out to be frighteningly real. now both the fl ower and the joke are mean women don’t actually encoun- that you deserve a gold star for your And that wasn’t necessarily just the dead. In this case however I think it’s ter real men on a (depressingly) fre- eff orts. Some people like to show off disembodied voice of some oddball important to kill the fl ower and fi g- quent basis who are, and who make how clever they are through some- on the internet. It was someone on ure out what’s going on. e work- the exact same ‘jokes’ with a very thing they call ‘satire’. is is when the train, someone at school, some- The line between joke and ings of these sorts of ‘jokes’ actually real implication of the desirability of you still make the sexist, racist or one who to all intents and purposes operate with very complex dynamics. female servility. Fedoras, chinos and off ensive joke but you vitally accom- seemed normal and harmless. In casual sexism is not as It’s a diffi cult area to navigate. e signet rings may be some indication, pany it with a glint in your eye and short, just like you. So really it isn’t presenter Paul Stainton insisted that but misogynists generally don’t walk heavy dose of ‘top banter’ so that eve- quite so obvious that you’re joking clear as we like to think the comment was purely ironic. He around with fl ashing neon signs iden- ryone understands that you’re not ac- after all. claimed all disrespect was aimed at tifying themselves as such. Sadly, all tually an attention-hungry bigot but a Tyson Fury, the Sports Personality too often they can turn out to have wonderful, sensitive person, just with H e a d s p a c e In her second weekly column, Rhiannon Shaw considers mental health’s relationship with job applications

depression, my mother pointed out, Change.org petition. Some will fi ght impact on my life than my part-time a dirty secret. not jokingly, that future employers long, quiet legal battles that strain job at a supermarket ever did. But it’s e days, weeks, months and years would know about it – have to know their mental health even further. Like not something I want to pretend never of recovery are not often commemo- about it, for that matter. When look- stigma anywhere else, mental health happened. Lying about it isn’t helpful rated like the ‘expected’ milestones of ing at options for a year abroad after discrimination in the workplace needs to anyone, especially not myself. life. Rarely do people post about their university, I was stopped dead in my to be rooted out through the collec- What has been impressed upon mental health as much as they’d post tracks by an application form that tive sentiment of ‘ is is never okay’, most young people, whether inten- about a new relationship status, a job requested I provide ALL RECENT whether it happens to a Broadway star tionally or not, is that there is a certain off er, or fi nding a piece of toast that MEDICAL HISTORY INCLUDING or a teacher in Truro. careful way of presenting themselves looks like Mr T. But, even if an essay MENTAL HEALTH. It warned that I always have the temptation to nar- that will give them a base level of suc- on overcoming your anxiety is un- I would be assessed and if my medi- rativize my own existence – to see each cess and professional appeal. ey likely to make great waves with Stacy cal health record did not match pre- missed bus as some great metaphor of should dye their hair a normal colour, in H.R., I for one think getting up and cisely what I had set down there, how I, the protagonist, am wrangling avoid writing anything controver- doing each day is pretty marvellous MY APPLICATION WOULD BE with the subject of time and space. But sial for a student paper, delete that and makes us all rather cool – prob- Rhiannon Shaw CANCELLED. the truth is that I struggle to roman- YouTube video of them doing a ukule- ably at least as cool as those book e Equality Act in the UK outlaws ticise those many days spent playing le cover of One Direction. But mental characters I hear about so much. employers from treating those with Pokemon FireRed for 8 hours because health isn’t something that can just be like books. People in books do lots mental illnesses any diff erently from everything else felt terrifying. It’s not deleted from your internet search his- See this article online for links to of things. ey jump, they walk, other employees, or from enquiring something I can put on my CV, even tory – it’s intrinsic to who we are, and mental health support resources. I they dance, they kiss, they some- about their employees’ health before if getting better has made more of an shouldn’t be swept under the rug like times do really naughty things like they are off ered a job. e country I having depression or being bisexual – was considering had very diff erent hey, just like me! But I’m yet to come guidelines – in the international job across a book where, in the fi t of some climate, I was perhaps naïve to ex- great existential crisis, while gazing pect that I could expect the same legal out over Lake Geneva with a parrot standards. Your past, your imprint, on one shoulder and a samurai sword online or off , follows you wherever in one hand, the protagonist has sud- you go. I’m essentially attempting to denly exclaimed, ‘Alas! What shall my smuggle my brain across an interna- future employer think of all this!?’ tional border and I may well be ar- is thought came to me as I was rested for the forgotten banana in my fi lling out an application for an in- frontal lobe. ternship. Apparently, because I’m not ere are countless successful getting a massive inheritance from a people who have made a living while far-off relative anytime soon, I have to having a mental illness – some have face up to my own limited funds and made enormous leaps and bounds in look for a place I can go every day to their fi eld because they simply have earn some moolah – but fi rst I need a diff erent way of thinking about the to go to a place every day where I earn world. Carrie Fisher, Stephen Fry and no money but something called ‘ex- Temple Grandin address their own perience’ and ‘transferable skills’. is mental health and confront stigma particular company wanted to know with the kind of chutzpah most of us what I’d been up to for, oh, say, every could only dream of. But not all of us vacation since arriving at university. are going to be movie stars or activ- A brief précis of 100 words would do. ists or world-renowned scientists. us began my long contemplation ough we may not be exposed as of how to stretch ‘I did pretty rubbish much to internet trolls, ‘average’, ‘non- revision for my exams and started to famous people’ who try to speak out think I might have depression’ beyond about discrimination from a boss or its paltry word count. a co-worker won’t necessarily gar- When I was fi rst diagnosed with ner 500,000 shares on Facebook or a 16 Comment Friday 22nd January 2016 How do we accept the fragility of our icons?

he passing of two British icons, proportion of the younger genera- Rickman rouses the collective on is Morning, I felt a sense of nos- eerily connected by age and tions, myself included, the loss of nostalgia of a generation, but talgia and even pride that she was so T manner of death, reminds us Alan Rickman is the loss of our also evokes personal experi- articulate. When I heard of her death of the fragility of those we’ve painted beloved Professor Severus Snape. ences and memories related only a year later, it felt wrong. I had as fearless: David Bowie, shattering all Of course, this is a legitimate to the series.  ough the in some corner of my mind chosen to presumptions on gender and sexual- and cathartic way of griev- struggle of their loved ones identify with part of her life narrative, ity with wonderful androgyny, and ing. It reminds us not only is of course greater, as and she had unfairly cut our connec- Alan Rickman, never afraid to play that our heroes live on in fans, the fragility of tion short. the villain and entering a formidable their legacy, but also that our heroes is perhaps But my wistful mourning was col- fi lm industry with remarkable ease at their legacy lives on in more diffi cult to ac- oured by an image of myself mapped such a late stage in his career. When ourselves. David Bowie cept, because we do onto her, not the woman herself. I re- vignettes like these characterise their might have tran- not experience their alised that what I had considered and existence, no wonder we thought they scended all earthly intimate reaction yearned for was not the individual, were superhuman. In a way, perhaps boundaries, but he to the world we cast whose qualities, musings and every- they are. also inspired the them into. day interactions I could not begin to Nevertheless, the decisions of both marginalised  e death of an- know or understand, but rather what Esther Raff ell Rickman and Bowie to keep their to thrive off other kind of celeb- I thought I might take from her, and health diffi culties confi dential, while difference, rity, Peaches Geldoff , maybe use for myself. more than understandable, served to rather than aff ected me more than We are all wrong about the celebri- sustain their guise of invincibility until s u b d u e I expected. I might not ties we love. Well, not so much wrong, e deaths of Alan the moment news broke. Denial is the it. Alan call her a hero, or some- but we all choose to interpret their sto- Rickman and David fi rst stage of grief, but the fi nality that one I really aspired to ries to fi t ours.  at’s why the swathes greeted the public when their deaths be like, but as an angsty, of personal anecdotes, stories and ac- Bowie leave fans were confi rmed, pretty much out of pubescent fourteen- counts of their lives are beautifully rich nowhere, was an unpleasant reality year-old reading teen and diverse.  e vilifi cation faced by a struggling to know check: our heroes can’t live forever. magazines, I unasham- few brave souls, who chose to point Yet the way that many have chosen edly admired her rebel- out Bowie’s involvement with under- how to grieve to honour and commemorate their lious antics and ‘Blow aged girls following his death, demon- passing is a poignant illustration of Bubbles Not Bombs’ strates this point. “We’re incredulous our attachment to their guise, and our t-shirts. Watching her when a person’s crimes don’t match diffi culty to accept their humanness. take down resident our image of them,” Angelina Chapin A memorial for Alan Rickman has r e n t- a - m o u t h from e Huffi ngton Post remarked. been placed at platform 9 and 3/4 at Katie Hopkins She’s right. Our images of them are King’s Cross station. For a signifi cant fi ve years later diff erent to the reality. WARNER BROS

Miranda Slade

ur generation seems unique- the Cambridge degree would have about Cambridge nightlife, we never to move on.  eir advice was specifi c for self-improvement. ly, and somewhat prema- the shelf life of a dairy product. You become jaded enough to renounce it to romantic relationships but, given  e reconnection website O turely, obsessed with recap- can enjoy it for three days. But that’s completely. that my love life has been fi lled with FriendsReunited closed down this turing our younger selves. We abide all - by the fourth you can still taste So, why do we fi nd it so hard to almost as much regret and awkward week, presumably because all of the by the hashtag #throwbackthurs- the memory of how good it was, but move on? I’m not sure. When I at- eye contact as brunch the day after information you would have been day, while Timehop posts saturate there’s an undeniably acerbic tinge tended my 22nd bop this weekend, the bop, the leap didn’t seem insur- able to hide on this site was pub- our Facebook timelines. As the fi rst as it begins to curdle. (It’s been three muscle memory took hold and I mountable. It was, in the end, a fruit- lished on Facebook all along.  e children to have played our teenage weeks of Veganuary and this is the made all the same mistakes I did at less endeavour: one of the steps rec- lesson here is that there is no hiding years out on social media, we are able most use I have had for dairy, leave the previous 21. Appropriating the ommended by WikiHow was ‘Be Sad’, your past. You simply have to scroll to scroll through our personal histo- me alone). reckless abandon and enthusiasm which I’d already managed without through, recognise your past, and ries and select the pieces we want to  ree years is enough for most. If of youth, I danced vigorously to the the help of the Internet. fi nally – whether you want re-post, in order to create a narrative one were to attend every Wednesday best of the ‘90s and even had a tacti- One important lesson I have to or not – repeat it. about exactly how our past has be- Cindies - ambitious but not impos- cal chunder for good measure. I can’t learnt in my protracted under- come our present. sible - for the span of their under- graduate years is that in place 1 year ago But as we nostalgically varnish the graduate career that would be 72 vis- of improvement must come ghostly display pictures of our former its. At £5 entry, that is £360.  row acceptance. I accepted that selves, we are ignoring the danger of Sunday Life into the equation and I wasn’t going to be able regression. We incriminate ourselves that number doubles. A bottle of to ‘move on’ from bop- by retrieving these old memories, yet £4 Sainsbury’s House Soave at pre- BEING BLIND TO ONE’S OWN based binge drinking, we venerate a nightclub that plays drinks before each of these events? and texted friends ask- songs older than current freshers.  e grand total reaches £1296. FLAWS MIGHT BE A FLAW IN ing for suggestions on We are beginning to wade into the I’ll admit now that I did not make ITSELF which of my short- murky waters of post-irony and, it to Cindies 72 times in 3 years. But comings I could even speaking as someone who has my example is an illustration of how work on instead. mounted defences of a lot of poor much we invest in the promise and Quite soon after decision-making on irony, there is a potential of a good night out, even claim to be proud of myself. hitting ‘send’ it crucial distinction to be made. if the stamp and bruises from last Older, but certainly not wiser, I felt dawned on me that I am now in my fourth year at week have barely faded.  e vomit, it was time to make a positive change being blind to one’s own Cambridge. As a fourth-year student regrettable one night stands and in order to distance today’s Miranda fl aws might be a fl aw in itself. in Cambridge, it’s often easy to feel hangovers are less easily quantifi able, from her previous incarnation. In the  at realisation seemed like an im- that you may have overstayed your but they deserve their recognition, interest of self-improvement, I con- portant enough step in my self-actu- MIRANDA SLADE welcome. If a year were a day, then too. Although we love to complain sulted WikiHow for guidance on how alisation that I no longer felt the need 20TH CENTURY FOX 18 Culture Friday 22nd January 2016 HAMILTON: Art: FRESH OFF THE BLOCK a man’s world

e CUMTS team discuss new musical Hamilton, and why you should be Katie Wetherall asks why high-fl ying women looking out for it are still an exception in the art industry

ife as a musical theatre nerd is infi nitely he news this week that the Tate Modern It is painfully obvious that diff erences in opinion, better when there is a new hit show has announced its fi rst female director in style, background, and world view drive art for- Lthat everyone, and I literally mean eve- TFrances Morris is welcome. But the fact ward and endow it with an immense capacity for ryone, is talking about and humming under that her appointment doubles the number of wonder and delight. Without diverse workforces, their breath.  is year’s gift from the Broad- women at the helm of the top art galleries shows we will not unlock the full potential of the arts way gods (also known as Lin-Manuel Mi- institutions must do much more to promote and creative industries. By limiting the oppor- randa) is Hamilton, the story of the often for- women and smash the artistic glass ceiling. tunities of substantial sections of Britain’s popu- gotten Founding Father of the United States, lation for recognition and success, we and the Alexander Hamilton, whose tale is told in the  e under-representation of women, ethnic mi- whole world miss out on their talent as a result. form of an overwhelmingly contemporary norities and disabled people in executive posi- hip-hop musical. tions is just one small symptom of an industry Redressing the historic gender imbalances in the dominated by white, European men. Female art- modern world is, however, not straightforward. I won’t lie: when I fi rst heard the soundtrack, ists are almost entirely absent from historic art Should we go about reinserting overlooked fe- I was not convinced.  e show opens with collections; their work goes for much less com- male artists into seventeenth-century art collec- three consecutive predominantly heavy rap mercially and they are still massively underrep- tions, or is this trying to rewrite history? numbers, and as a fan of the soaring melodies resented in contemporary art institutions. of Stephen Schwartz and the catchy tunes of  e idea of quotas is no less controversial. In a Andrew Lloyd Webber, I thought Hamilton When Frances Morris graduated from King’s 2013 interview with the White Review, Mor- just wasn’t for me. College with a First in Art History in 1982, most ris said “if we implemented a 50/50 rule in our Cambridge colleges were only just starting to collection displays, we’d probably be drawing Six weeks later, I have the soundtrack on re- admit female undergraduates.  at didn’t stop upon 1/5 of the collection to represent 50 per peat, know all the songs, and am now aware Morris from smoking a pipe, donning Land cent of the display.” Professionals in the creative of how wrong my fi rst impression was. I Army Breeches and joining King’s Women. She industries should still try to draw from as many think my initial reaction to the volume of thought she looked cool, but a tutor told her she backgrounds and perspectives as possible. In her complex rapping in the show was that it was was dressed like a horsewoman. Devilishly clever, time so far at the Tate, Frances Morris has curat- not written for someone as uncool as me. But she went on to do her PhD at the Courtauld In- ed three major retrospectives of female artists: this is where Miranda’s genius truly becomes stitute and has been at Tate Modern since 1998. Louise Bourgeois in 2007, Yayoi Kusama in 2012 apparent. His blending of the astonishing rap But her success is the exception, not the rule. and Agnes Martin in 2014. Bourgeois is an exam- with the gorgeous musical theatre melodies ple of an artist continually overlooked by the art gives the show an edge that Broadway has Of the top 10 most visited art galleries in the UK world until feminist art theory brought the issue been lacking, and he really has redefi ned the (Arts Newspaper 2014 attendance fi gures), only to attention in the 1970s. Her collection of paint- genre. two have female directors – Penelope Curtis at ings and mass sculptures explore psychological the Tate Britain and now Frances Morris at the events from her childhood, domesticity, mother- You can hear infl uences from Andrew Lloyd Tate Modern.  e National Gallery has been hood and sexuality. Webber in ‘Burn’, Nicki Minaj in ‘Aaron Burr, headed by men during the entirety of its exist- Sir’, Laurence O’Keeff e in ‘It’s Quiet Uptown’ ence, but that didn’t stop it from appointing its According to Bourgeois, when she brought her and Beyoncé in ‘Say No To  is’. Essentially, 14th male director this year.  e British Mu- work to the trustees of the MoMA in the 1930s, Lin-Manuel Miranda has done for American seum,  e Royal Academy of Arts, the National ‘ ey were not interested in a young women history what Baz Luhrmann did for Romeo + Portrait Gallery, the Victoria and Albert Muse- coming from Paris.  ey were not interested in Juliet. If the hardcore musical theatre tradi- um, the National Museum of Scotland, Somerset her three children.  ey wanted male artists, and tionalists are still not swayed, there is always House, and the Dulwich Gallery all have white they wanted male artists who did not say they King George’s wonderfully camp, wonder- males mostly responsible for the overall direc- were married.’ It took 50 years and the persua- fully Broadway number, ‘You’ll Be Back’. tion of the collections. And closer to home, both sive eff orts of a young female curator for MoMA the Fitzwilliam here in Cambridge and the Ash- to display Bourgeois’s work - in what was its fi rst Whilst the music is the core of this show’s molean in Oxford are – you guessed it – run by female retrospective. genius, the telling, or more accurately the men. retelling, of this historical narrative is so im-  e situation has improved. It is true that women portant, not just to America’s past but also Art galleries are a public celebration of what we fare better in curational and executive positions for what it means to be American today. value most in a society, of what we fi nd compel- in the European and American art scene. In sec- Performed by a mainly non-white cast, the ling and magnifi cent, beautiful and haunting. It ond-year History of Art lectures today, you’ll be hip hop songs seamlessly transport us to the matters what hangs on the walls and who holds hard pressed to spot the two male students out eighteenth century and tell, in magnifi cent the power of taste and distinction.  is isn’t to of 27: a very diff erent gender ratio to 1982. Be- detail, the story of the life and work of Al- say that a male curator is always less likely to fore 1900 female artists comprised one per cent exander Hamilton, who served as America’s commission work by female artists, or vice versa. of collections at the Tate Britain, by 1965 this had fi rst Secretary of the Treasury.  e musical But the case for diversity in all areas of the arts, reached 30 per cent. But overall representation brings to light the genius, eff ort and personal from what hangs on the walls, to who sits in a of female artists in London art galleries has pla- strength he invested in the creation of one of boardroom, is clear. It’s not even that having a teaued ever since. We should celebrate Morris’s the most prosperous countries on earth, de- broad range of backgrounds, genders, ages and success, but remember that there is much, much spite having all the odds against him. races is ‘good’ for the art world: it’s integral to its more to be done. very being. A key line is “I’m just like my country, I’m young, scrappy and hungry”, reminding us that, at its heart, the USA is comparatively new – only 240 years young.  e show cele-

brates a nation founded on the values of free- PHOTOGRAPHY TATE dom, ambition and the American Dream. I think the show holds a pertinent message of patriotism that could win over even the most cynical American citizen.

Fans of Hamilton include Barack and Michelle Obama, Beyoncé and Jay-Z; it is sold out un- til September, although tickets are rumoured to be going for $4,000 on the black market (always a feasible option). Yet the chance for us commoners to see the show may well be when Cameron Mackintosh brings it to the West End in 2017, hopefully with the same roaring success as it has had on Broadway. For now, though, we are limited to the de- lights of the soundtrack. So, what are you waiting for? Friday 22nd January 2016 Culture 19

AN MAI Hidden Treasures

Anna McGee on the arts organisation helping us fi nd them

ry to imagine all the oil paintings current- PCF. Astonishingly, the Fitzwilliam did not have Grosvenor spotted it and began investigations, ly in the UK; not only those displayed in such a catalogue before the intervention of the ultimately prompting reattribution. Tart galleries, but also those tucked away PCF’s founder, Dr Frederick Hohler. in storage rooms or in the gloomy recesses of Tempted by the prospect of more such discov- some old manor house.  ere are approximately Despite the enormous scale of the undertaking, eries, Your Paintings launched Art Detective, 210,000 publicly-owned oil paintings in Britain, by 2012 the PCF had catalogued all 210,000 pub- another public-participation forum where spe- yet – believe it or not – 80% of these are not on licly-owned oil paintings in the UK, and it now cialists in any area, not just art history, can share view.  ey are instead in storage, often due to makes them freely accessible online.  is massive their expertise to help with questions of attribu- disrepair or lack of display space, meaning that project, which the PCF undertook in partnership tion, dating and subject-matter identifi cation works of art meant for public enjoyment are not with the BBC from 2009, aimed to engage a wide in paintings. A seascape by nineteenth-century freely available – or even known about. audience, not just those interested in art.  e maritime painter John  omas Serres, for in- website catalogue – named Your Paintings – is stance, has recently been identifi ed as a view of  e Public Catalogue Foundation (PCF), found- a fantastic interactive resource, combining old- the River  ames off Gravesend: specialists in ed in 2003, sought to remedy the situation. It school art with cutting-edge technology. boats and coastal geography helped solve this tracked down oil paintings not only in museums puzzle, not art historians. By popularising art, and galleries, but in hospitals, schools and town A crowd-sourcing ‘Tagger’ system invites anyone the PCF isn’t simplifying the complex issues sur- halls all over the country, and sent its photogra- to help make the catalogue more easily usable, by rounding art historical research, but is acknowl- phers to record them. And it all began in Cam- classifying paintings under subject matter visible edging that no single group of people has all the bridge: the Fitzwilliam Museum was the fi rst to in the composition: this is as simple as a game answers. have its collection of paintings catalogued by the of eye-spy, but actually generates the metadata necessary to transform the website into a highly  e PCF’s attempts to democratise the art sphere sensitive search engine. In this way, the Your do not stop there: they have also started various Paintings catalogue can be searched not just by projects promoting the interaction of children an artist’s name, but by any key word – and this with fi ne art. Most impressively, in 2013 26 oil MEFUSBREN69 means that everyone, not only those with spe- painting masterpieces by artists such as Gains-

THE BOWES MUSEUM cialised knowledge, can use it. Want to trace the borough, Lowry, Monet and Turner were lent by popularity of the bowler hat in British history? public art collections to nearby schools. By searching ‘bowler hat’, all oil paintings depict- ing this accessory will come up. In this way you  ough raising awareness of the UK’s oil-paint- can learn about changing fashions: art can be a ing collection is an on-going task, the PCF’s mirror of life. original undertaking of cataloguing these works is complete. So, what now?  eir next major As well as creating this fantastic tool and re- digitisation programme, beginning this year, will source, the PCF’s work has yielded exciting deal with all publicly owned sculpture in Brit- art-historical discoveries: in 2013, a portrait ain, at least 80% of which is again hidden from by Flemish Baroque legend Anthony Van Dyck public view. We can only imagine what exciting was discovered at the Bowes Museum in Dur- fi nds there will be.  e PCF helps us to discover ham. Previously thought to have been a copy, hidden treasures – and is itself a gem in the UK the painting had been put into storage where its arts scene. condition deteriorated, making the chances of correct attribution less and less likely.  anks to the PCF’s initiative, the painting was cleaned, Your Paintings will be called Art UK photographed and put online, where leading art from February 2016. historian (and Cambridge alumnus) Dr Bendor Anna’s Culinary Corner

ast week was all about mug cakes, the ul- generous). To soften the blow for anyone plan- don, right up to catching that late train back to timate comfort food, baked to perfection ning on losing their Camden culinary virginity, Cambridge. Lin your fi re-proof microwave and enjoyed I bring to you my top three savoury picks along in the safety of your very own gyp room – talk with some bites of dessert, shortlisted based on Our fi nal destination is perhaps not as exotic about mollycoddling.  is week it is time to all the times I have been sampling hundreds of as the fi rst two, but who would not love a bowl

PETE SOUZA branch out beyond the narrow confi nes of col- foods instead of typing thousands of words. of pasta? Your standard Sainsbury’s spinach lege kitchens, beyond formal swaps to distant lo- and ricotta ravioli has got nothing on Crazy for cations such as Girton, and indeed out of Cam- e fi rst stop on my food tour explores the fl a- Pasta. Let your mouth engage in a wet dream bridgeshire altogether. However many deadlines vours of South America, neatly packed into are- while watching the cooks roll out fresh pasta and commitments you may have preying on you, pas.  ese are Venezuelan and Colombian corn- dough, ready to be boiled just for you.  e menu sometimes you just need to escape the bubble, based fl atbreads fi lled to the brim with culinary of sauce options seems to go from one tour de and what better destination is there than Lon- goodness. Black beans, plantains (a larger sort of force to another: if I am forced to pick (as I al- don, less than an hour and ten pounds away if banana used for cooking), avocado, and cheese ways eventually am!), the butter and sage in all you choose your trains wisely? feature in my favourite vegetarian version, all its simplicity really compliments the fl avour of stuff ed into bread fried at the stall while you are the fresh pasta. We all know what a fi ne city the capital is in terms waiting.  e carnivores among us can spike their of galleries, clubs, and high-street shopping, but arepas with one of the many meat options, built If after your tour of world cuisine you still want this is not ‘Anna’s culture corner’: instead, I bring on the same base as the veggie one. Help yourself to sweeten the deal with, well, something sweet, to you the culinary gem of central London, Cam- to lashings of delicious yoghurt sauce to com- I would recommend one of the many stalls den Market.  ink of the food provision at any plete your scrumptious South-American experi- churning out churros, those elongated dough- standard May Ball, then extend it to cover most ence; it is perhaps not the neatest eat, but it is nuts fi lled with caramel or chocolate sauce.  e of the world, and you have a more or less accu- well worth the mess. crêpes are also well worth the queue, although rate picture of Camden Market in mind. Hidden somewhat generic when it comes to fi llings; for away by Camden Lock, and only at a walking dis- e next leg of our journey continues with a not-so-readily available option, try the Dutch tance from King’s Cross, it is a paradise of street bread-type sustenance, this time from India. pancakes – these are essentially bite-sized bits of food in all its forms, from bagels to posh burgers, Roti House off ers tandoori-style mixtures of veg- puff y pancake, perfected with a fi ne coating of vegan wraps to succulent Polish sausages – and etables, meat, and your choice of spicyness, gen- icing sugar. to continue with the May Ball analogy, even the tly embraced by a fresh naan bread wrap – sim- compulsory mac ‘n cheese and hog roast are fea- ple but oh-so-tasty. At this stall, not all choices  ere will always be essays to write, but why not tured. are equal, though: the tikka-fl avoured tandoori make those culinary dreams come true and treat chicken only works if you really love chicken and yourself to a day out at a pre-May Ball experi- ‘Overwhelming for a beginner’ is an understate- KFC is your idea of heaven because of the density ence? I am certainly planning on a swift return ment when I look back at my fi rst time. I wanted of the meat. My recommendation is the potato – there is a brigadeiro stall (go and fi nd out for to taste anything and everything, which is made curry – it was well-received even by my usually yourself what they are!) that has gone unexplored very possible by a plethora of free samples (there religiously carnivorous companion and is sure to for too long… is an Italian fl at bread stall that is particularly keep you going for the rest of your day in Lon- the varsity cryptic crosswordSet by Glueball

Across 1. High holiday? (4) 3. Ready to fi re, but there’s a catch (8) 8. Guilty journalist tails a fraud (7) 9. Start to responsibly use resources and land in countryside (5) 10. Choir accompanied by D-sharp tuned instrument (11) 13. Twice picked fruit (6) 15. Regrets beheading birds (6) 17. Still, our art is too abstract for Blake, perhaps? (11) 20. Untidy, but like garden (5) 21. Single measure of fashionable gin brings people together (7) 22. Early Shakespearean character embraced, 7. Fry alive in skillet (4) holding Romeo who seemed indiff erent (8) 11. Social Lilly regularly visits swish rascal (9) 23. Top Egyptian God (4) 12. Great son weirdly kept waiting (8) 14. Move to take queen – missed it by this Down much! (7) 1. Posh seat not right for casual cafés (8) 16. Establish that eggs is eggs (6) 2. One church, golden, follows heavenly blood 18. Dancing is turn-off (5) (5) 19. Friends make absurd brief lapse (4) 4. Censor leftist movement (6) 5. Wrong mare ordered for Khan, potentially Please submit completed crosswords to editor@ (9) varsity.co.uk. Congratulations to Jake Choules for 6. First link cut short (7) submitting the fi rst correct answers to Issue 801. Friday 22nd January 2016 Features 21 Messing around with your degree

Haroon Mohamoud describes his experience of changing tripos

ack of all trades, master of none’. With a deferred place to study Clas- with a discussion of the essay, which My secondary school teachers sics during my gap year, alongside deliberated over whether or not there ‘Jcan vouch for how pertinent a full-time work, I had the opportunity was a transformation in the conditions SIMON LOCK label that was for my schoolboy self. to study Arabic. Suddenly, I found my- of the Russian peasantry across Tsarist As with many of life’s truths, this same self absorbed in the ancient Semitic and then Communist regimes (1855- fi gure of speech can be found in dif- language – its grammar, and its large 1964). In the meeting with the Senior ferent languages.  e Hungarian one corpus of profound texts. I decided to Tutor, more of the discussion revolved is particularly sharp: ‘He who grasps give up my deferred place and apply around the circumstances of my sud- much, retains but little’. for Arabic instead. However, by the den epiphany. time I was due to take up my place, At school, I was what teachers would I had become fairly familiar with the On my journey home that sunny Sep- call an ‘all-rounder’: my maths skills language. Would I manage to plough tember afternoon, I received an email were respectable and my chemistry through four years of full-time study? to say my transition from AMES to was profi cient enough that I could tell Having read titles in Middle Eastern History was approved. a covalent bond from an ionic, but I history by Hugh Kennedy and Albert obtained an Olympiad medal in nei- Hourani, I rediscovered from my A- Since I changed degree even before I ther subject; I could weave essays ana- level days that history had a language had set foot in Cambridge, it did not lysing fi ne pieces of English literature of its own. really impact my life much on a per- but it was clear I was no Wordsworth sonal level. Friendships had not been myself when it came to creative com- Frantic, I emailed my Asian and Mid- formed in the AMES faculty to be bro- position. dle Eastern Studies (AMES) Director ken in favour of ones in the Faculty of of Studies to see if it was not too late History. King’s now had nine – as op- Unsurprisingly, my wide-ranging in- to switch to History. I was asked to posed to eight – fi rst-year historians. terests made choosing my A-level op- send in an essay and was invited for tions a nightmare. In my last school two interviews: one with the college  e History course is a year shorter, report before GCSE exams, my head- Director of Studies for History and a so I am due to graduate a year earlier master admonished me for even think- History fellow, the other with the Sen- than I would have originally - on con- ing of continuing with the sciences ior Tutor. Although these were pretty dition that I do not change to another and maths into the Sixth Form “on straightforward, I spent the three days subject. For indeed, my manic subject the basis of these grades!” When my between the invitation and the actual grasshoppery might not be confi ned exams in these subjects went better date of the interview frantically pac- to History (excuse the pun!). As a pe- than expected, I challenged myself to ing up and down, aimlessly trying to nultimate-year student, I am now in- actually try.  ree months into Lower reground myself in the Russian history creasingly beginning to ponder what Sixth, I realised I was made neither for I’d studied at A-Level. to do after I complete my degree. juggling ‘derivatives as dy/dx’, or the very painstaking business of calculat- Unsurprisingly, the fi rst interview I am already planning my forays into ing titres. with the History specialists began another new subject.

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Blue steel, body-building and bigorexia BEN WATERS WATERS

Xanthe Gilmore investigates the often overlooked topic of male body image in Cambridge

ave you ever wondered if there opened its doors to the new University But it’s not all about our mental wellbe- traits have long tended to be (man-) was more to life, other than be- Sports Centre, which cost £16 million ing. made (as in make-up), our conception Hing really, really, ridiculously and off ers various sports scholarships. of a typical “masculine” body is now good looking? As Zoolander 2 hits our For Rob Liu, an engineering PhD stu- “built” (as in body-building). Although screens next month, let us remember dent at Fitzwilliam College and a keen such superfi cial concerns might seem a the deep existential musings fi rst spoken sportsman, regular exercise has been million miles from the preoccupations to us by male model of the year, Derek invaluable. “I don’t think I would have of busy Cambridge students, just think Zoolander or 'Blue Steel,' over a decade survived here without sport. It’s such MEN MAY NOW FEEL how attractive taking control of an ego ago. Here at Cambridge, however, we’re an important part of life,” he says. “It boost might appear when stony feed- probably more interested in the reverse can change mindsets.” Rob boxes for PRESSURE TO WORK OUT JUST back from supervisors may have bat- question: is it enough to be brainy? between one and three hours a day, six tered your self-esteem. days a week, depending on the train- TO APPEAR MR AVERAGE Cambridge is notorious for wanting its ing regime. Even after Cambridge, the Exercise can clearly have signifi cant students to focus on work and (as na- future looks particularly bright for the health benefi ts, but isn’t always about tional newspapers love to report) some most physically active among us. Recent taking care of yourself, mentally and may opt for a work hard, play hard atti- studies have shown that graduates who Given that at no other time in our lives physically.  e motivations for working tude. But there seems to be a new trend played sport at university earn on aver- are we likely to be photo bombed as out can be complex and sometimes the emerging of students who are taking it age 18 per cent more than their fi tness- frequently or mix with so many bright line between the healthy and unhealthy easy in the pub only to kill it in the gym. shy friends. young things than at university, it seems ones, especially in a pressure cooker en-  is work hard, work out hard approach only natural that students would be vironment like Cambridge, can become will of course not be exclusive to guys, body-conscious. Mathieu Delaveau, hazy. Sadly, there isn’t a great deal of but given the number of Varsity arti- a Frenchman on exchange here, fi nds information available on male students cles on female bodies and body issues, the UK much more look-obsessed than struggling with issues like compulsive let’s have a quick look at male bodies in other European countries he’s lived in. exercise, body dysmorphia (including Cambridge. In the six years he spent at France’s most “bigorexia”), extreme diets and eating IT SEEMS ONLY NATURAL elite universities, he never once set foot disorders, probably because guys are  ere’s no escaping it in the mainstream in a gym. But Cambridge made him much less likely to come forward with media. Whereas girls were once ac- THAT STUDENTS WOULD BE rethink his daily routine. “I had never body image (but what are really mental cused of starving themselves because BODY-CONSCIOUS worked out before coming to Cam- health) issues than their female peers. they read too many fashion mags, the bridge. In France, you’d never hear of a pressure for topless selfi es on Tinder student going to the gym.  e UK defi - Cambridge is a wonderful place for and Instagram has apparently made a nitely made me more aware of my ap- some of the world’s future thinkers, do- generation of young men more body-  en there’s the social side of things. pearance.” ers and leaders, but its bubble has never conscious than women. And at Cam- William Miller, a fourth-year under- been so successful at protecting such bridge? Surely we’re so busy knackering graduate at Trinity Hall, works out for Especially in the UK, men may now feel active minds from mental health is- our minds we’ve hardly the time to work two hours a day, fi ve days a week. But pressure to work out just to appear Mr sues. We have recently seen a number on our bodies as well? But of course, ex- rather than being a bodybuilding junkie, Average. Whereas we’re seeing fewer of excellent articles written about (and ercise isn’t always about wanting to look he says he’s motivated by spending time super-skinny female models and (argu- often by) female suff erers of body image good and can be the perfect antidote to with guys after a loaded day of work. “I ably) a greater variety of female body issues. the competitive environment, high ex- don’t get a lot of time to hang out with shapes celebrated in mainstream me- pectations and heavy work load most my friends, so the gym’s a good place to dia, the male bodies exhibited on post- Even if we start with anonymous con- people experience here. catch up. I like the atmosphere there.” ers and screens seem to be increasingly tributions, it would be great if we heard Gym sessions are starting to replace conforming to a uniform, beefed up from more guys who can be similarly - Cambridge certainly seems to support pub outings for some guys, with protein shape. It’s a look no one’s born with, and and uniquely - aff ected by these impor- and encourage physical activity at an in- shakes the new drink of choice. more and more are working for. Just as tant problems, too. stitutional level. In 2013, the university the most desirable “feminine” physical Friday 22nd January 2016 Features 23 UNSPLASH

New Year’s Disillusions

The Messiah, Lady Gaga, had good intentions, I really did. go for a month without chocolate. ply went to the Careers Service and of woolly willy warmer, for want of a and Knitting However, it simply cannot be de- Apparently, as well as coming up told them I’m good with people and better phrase. Inied that I am a complete and with psychoanalysis and Schnitzel, like a challenge. After all, Psychol- utter failure when it comes to suc- the Austrians have invented choco- ogy is ultimately a degree for people So, is there any hope left for those of cessfully carrying out my New Year’s late Schnapps (and, incidentally, I was who don’t have any idea what they us who will probably never be able resolutions. It’s not even three weeks rolling with the idea that knocking want to do. Little did I know that the to merrily tick our way down a list of into January and I have already failed down peach Schnapps is essentially Careers Service was a challenge unto New Year’s resolutions? Quite hon- the fi rst and most basic resolution of having one of your fi ve a day). itself, and I left having less of a clue as estly, probably not. But really, I don’t my list of ten: “complete at least fi ve to what I’m going to do with my life think that it matters too much. One of resolutions this year”. Arriving in Cambridge quickly shat- than when fi rst entering. Apparently the special things about resolutions is tered the majority of my remaining careers as either a policewoman or a that they make you realise that you’ve I didn’t get off to an auspicious start. list. For example, one resolution was weather presenter are my best bets! somehow survived long enough to On New Year’s Day, being in Aus- to “get to grips with what I want to do Taking up knitting was a diff erent reach the point you’re at now, regard- tria, I was inundated with Schnapps. in life”. Now, becoming the Messiah sort of resolution altogether... yet less of whether you go for a run every Alcohol is fi ne, and I was not stupid or the next Lady Gaga was never con- even here, my dad’s new knitted ‘hat’ day, or managed to learn to speak fl u- enough to attempt to quit that, but I sidered an option; I aimed small, and ended up being so unfortunately mis- ent Korean. If we’re still here, I guess MEGGIE FAIRCLOUGH was stupid enough to believe I could so I thought it would be easy. I sim- shapen that it could pass as some sort we must be doing something right.

Why fad resolutions are h, hey there. How’s your chai sort of ‘modern’. My New Year’s reso- does more bad than good, and my you feel inadequate and buy a waist just, well, fads soy latte going? How’s that lution was to not have one (boom). pockets are perhaps too heavy with trainer. Why have I never heard of Ovegan cream you’ve got go- Now, pedants, I know and you know all the coins I have saved not purchas- someone’s New Year’s resolution to ing on top of your matcha tea? How this means in turn I have a New Year’s ing a Bootea detox shit-yourself-and- be something like “I want to remain is your gym regime? New Year’s reso- resolution, and to that I have no an- pay-for-it drink. exactly the same if only to refl ect after lutions aren’t really resolutions at all. swer except that I am greedily munch- 365 days and be happy with whatever  ey are more like a commercial in- ing into a bag of pre-grated cheese. A *clap* *clap* *clap* for those who progress I have made”. Or “I want to jection of positivity that your self can  is dynamic has meant I have in- have sustained their resolution be- be able to do a really cute sticker col- be made better at the stroke of mid- dulged in a bit of the old penny sale cause it is only the third week and lage to hide my corporate investment night, almost in a reverse style of Cin- at Holland & Barrett and looked at a it isn’t impressive yet. I want you to of a mac laptop”? derella.  ey are fl eeting like a Zante gym. Sure, my gluteus maximus is not succeed, it’s just that the world did romance, and yet mine this year is that of a marble statue, nor is my skin not design the façade of a ‘New Year’s It is because of ‘the man’, ‘the system’, still withstanding. My New Year’s res- glowing like a freshly polished shoe, resolution’ for you to become a bet- the lie. BETH CLOUGHTON olution is, you know, sort of ‘meta’. It’s but entertaining a two-week fad diet ter person: ‘they’ created it to make

“stop biting nails is rom the age of about four- committed only to writing one short laundry done and make myself do working consistently – and bullet- as far as it goes” teen, I set myself resolutions story a month.  at failed by March. the washing up. I have to fi ght myself point lists will only be one more Fevery year. In my idealistic  e only resolution I’ve set every in order not to buy cheesy chips in reminder when I’m failing. ‘Resolu- adolescent phase, they were basi- year is to stop biting my nails, and the middle of the nights and obscene tions’ just add unnecessary pressure. cally preposterous. I’d pick ten on the ongoing necessity of that demon- amounts of alcohol when I’m already I don’t need any more pressure – I’m a variety of themes, including ones strates my success. well into my overdraft.  ese things well aware of my fl aws, thanks. So such as ‘exercise three times a week’, are enough to be getting along with this year, I’m just going to try and get ‘drink eight glasses of water a day’,  is year, I haven’t set myself a single as it is. my shit together in my own way and ‘meditate before bed’ and ‘write a resolution. Here’s why. My life is in my own good time. I’m not going blog post every weekend’. Needless to tough enough as it is. I struggle just Setting myself pernickety resolutions to feel guilty if I don’t get down to say, these would last until about 6th to get out of bed in the morning, to which I’ll only feel guilty about is not the gym three times a week. January, by which point I wouldn’t remember to take my medication at going to improve my life or make me NOA LESSOF have exercised once, and I’d give up the same time every day, to motivate a better person. I know what I need But I’m still defi nitely going to try on the whole1. endeavour. In more myself to read things in time for my to work on – being awake during and stop biting my nails. Because it’s GENDLER recent years, I streamlined: in 2015, I supervisions. I fi nd it hard to get daylight hours, spending reasonably, disgusting. BEN BROWN 24 Fashion Friday 22nd January 2016

My relationship with MEG HONIGMANN JEWELS

Meg Honigmann explores her lifelong love for jewellery

n New Year’s Day an old, faded a bag covered entirely in jewels. I have in my life, had stayed for a while think me a bit strange. ey would In my opinion, jewellery is best kept obsession of mine struck no idea what happened to the bag, and then faded from my mind. But never imagine their price. secret. Whether it’s real or not isn’t Oagain. As I was walking around but I remember how it haunted my as I wandered round the Al- ani important if no one knows, and if the V&A, I came upon the ‘Bejewelled dreams, and I remember the triumph exhibition I couldn’t believe that this Maybe you, reader, own a diamond they can appreciate how it looks then Treasures’ exhibition, a display of I felt when it was fi nally my own. menagerie of jewels in cages was a choker. Maybe you don’t. Either way, the eff ect is the same. Jewels – subtly 100 jewelled extravaganzas from the private collection. I joked to my mum jewels are a complicated fantasy glinting or draped from head to toe seventeenth century onwards. It was I only ever contemplated the idea that maybe if I just wrote and explained for those who don’t own them, a – should not be shouted about, or very dark inside, and all the eye could of serious jewels in 2008, when my how much I loved a particular piece, combination of e Bloody Chamber hashtagged all over Instagram. At see were illuminated jewels balanced godfather wrote a book about Fabergé the owner might agree; they wouldn’t and bling – but perhaps quotidian for the end of the day, they are and are in glass cases. ey were arranged eggs. As I fl icked through the pages even notice its absence, let alone miss those who do. not a commodity – jewels have a by the colour of the jewel: emeralds the complete luxury and extravagance, it. dual function. ey are art; they are lay to the left, rubies to the right, and coupled with the minute attention to e only jewels I currently have a means of signalling wealth; they are diamonds were, well, everywhere. detail, fascinated me and lured me into I thought about what it would be are a string of aquamarines, and a means of signalling taste and self- studying them with rapt attention. It like to walk around the tiny streets my birthstone, a gift from my creation; they are a portable store of And suddenly, once again, I was seven was not the idea of owning a piece that of Cambridge adorned in priceless grandmother. e idea that the stone value. years old. really thrilled me, but the exquisite jewels – wearing a huge emerald ring is termed ‘semi-precious’ is to me form of art each piece embodied. It into a supervision; fl ashing a priceless ludicrous because of what they mean But really, whichever value you e fi rst time I was ever really excited was about what the power of creating brooch on my way to lectures – and to me. I don’t wear them, but keep decide to privilege over others is about jewellery was in year three. My something so beautiful represented. came to the realisation that people them in a bag in the same shade of a your decision. What matters is their parents told me that if I learnt all my might just reason that I had a taste for dreamy light blue, and that’s enough meaning to you. times tables I would be allowed to buy is obsession with jewels, like many extravagant costume jewellery, and to know that they are there.

James Swaden looks at changing attitudes towards male piercings

PIERCINGS n 2014, the American actor Harri- of a growing trend towards less gen- hip, like I’m not boring and stuff y. I’m son Ford presented an award at the dered fashion choices: “I’ve always not formal. I’m young and fun and IOscars in Los Angeles. ere was liked to be a bit diff erent to everyone casual.” e average young man, it nothing particularly remarkable about else, and my piercings are a part of seems, views their piercings as a way his outfi t; his hair was styled, his tuxe- that. I think there is a general trend to express individuality, as task which do black and well-fi tted and his goatee in men’s fashion at the moment that is is not easy for men to do through fash- trimmed. However, upon closer in- slowly beginning to explore domains ion. spection, something was just a tiny bit usually reserved for female consum- diff erent. His left earlobe was adorned ers- makeup, handbags, heels, skirts- However, to what extent are piercings with a small, hooped ring. Ford, who as ideas surrounding traditional mas- acceptable for men in the workplace? at the time was a sprightly 71-year- culinity are challenged…I think there Matt, also 20, explains that he has old, embodied in this unremarkable is still a way to go until jewellery be- piercings as a student because he’s un- moment a signifi cant trend in men’s comes an accepted accessory (apart sure whether they will be acceptable jewellery: the increasing normalisa- from, of course, daddy’s signet ring once he enters the working world: “I tion of male piercings. and some string around the wrist).” suppose for me, I like the aesthetic and it also feels like (perhaps some- Whilst male facial piercings have his- what ridiculously) that it’s something torically been associated with indica- I won’t be allowed to have in a profes- tions of sexuality and the hippie move- sional job for 40 years so why not have ment, since the 1980s they have grown it now?” steadily more popular. A quick look in THEY ARE REDEFINING WHAT Topman or All Saints will show the e formality of workwear has variety of earrings and other jewellery CONSTITUTES SOCIALLY changed in recent years. Whilst ties which are on trend. On campus, male were an obligatory part of any man’s students can be seen with a range of ACCEPTABLE BODY JEWELLERY work attire in the 1960s and 1970s, facial piercings. even large corporate fi rms are in- creasingly adopting no-tie policies. In Moving away from now ‘traditional’ newer industries and businesses, such earlobe or helix piercings, young men Nick, who is 21 and a trainee archi- as media, technology and start-ups, are increasingly making more out- tect, is of the same opinion: “I guess casual wear is often the norm. Is it ac- landish and daring choices including: more men getting them just follows ceptable, though, for a man to go to an eyebrow, nose, septum, tongue, in- the whole trend of men being more interview with a helix piercing? ner conch, rook, and tragus or cheek metrosexual and correlates with the piercings. Very few people seem par- increase in male beauty products.” As Most guys going for formal job inter- ticularly shocked by these piercings men move begin to move away from views remove their piercings for fear and they have become a regular fash- rigidly gendered standards in fashion, of creating a negative impression, but ion item for guys seeking a bit of an they are redefi ning what constitutes as our attitudes towards male pierc- THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY edge. socially acceptable body jewellery. ings change, perhaps they’ll become a chic accessory, something like a pock- Why, then, do male students choose Tom, 20, fi nds his piercings to be a fun et-square for the twenty-fi rst-century POCKET SQUARE? to get facial piercings? Chesney, a addition to his overall casual style: “I man. 21-year-old student, believes it is part think it makes me feel cool and a bit Friday 22nd January 2016 Fashion 25 Jewellery Hidden with intent Gems

Is our jewellery obsession vain? Laura Day goes over the subconscious Emily Fishman reveals Cambridge’s aspects of jewellery shopping jewellery secrets

hy do we wear jewellery? the edges – what will the neighbour But why bother with the high-end  e answer to this very think? Is this too expensive? How brands? A Pandora bracelet, after all, Wquestion is manifold.  ere much will I actually wear it? is something most will know of and is a plethora of reasons, all linked could invest in.  ere is a story behind to vanity, consumerism, or special every charm, with the option to switch MEG HONIGMANN memories and moments in life that the combinations around depending have compelled the woman to don a on mood or outfi t choice. particular trinket – as if it’s a symbolic pendant that surmises a moment or THERE IS A HINT OF SELF-  e charm bracelet industry has taken experience for all to see. off in recent years, with Pandora REFLECTION AND SOCIAL leading the way, followed by  omas While wearing jewellery may have JUDGEMENT CREEPING Sabo, Trollbeads, and Chamilia. Each it’s personal benefi ts and hidden off ers the same product with their meanings, there is no escaping the IN AT THE EDGES own twist. Whilst Pandora stick to the reality that it is in fact a statement of traditional solid silver and rose gold class and wealth; whether knowingly charms, with elegant glass beads to or not, someone wears a necklace, choose from too, Chamilia has taken bracelet, ring etc. with the intention of If you’re fl ush enough to shop at advantage of the younger market, showcasing just how much they earn, Asprey’s, there’s no certainty in selling charms inspired by the Disney and where they can aff ord to shop. the knowledge that your peers will movie Frozen. recognise the branded item on looks  is is where the brands come alone – the coveted admiration Whether a statement of fashion intent, in. From Asprey’s, to H. Samuel, based on one’s vanity over jewellery or simply a memory to wear, jewellery to Claire’s Accessories, we all have can only be achieved through vocal serves a range of purposes, and will our preference. Yet, this preference confi rmation of the ridiculously never go out of fashion. Trends will automatically places us in a category; obscene amount paid. Yet, if you were inevitably change, but there will brackets of aff ordability denoting to go for coff ee wearing a Pandora always be a market for it, because not only our pay packet each month, bracelet, you could almost guarantee it is just another cranny of human but also where we’re brave enough that it would be recognised. Similarly, consumerism – something we’re all to shop. Whilst the act of purchasing the return to Tiff any’s range is guilty of. the jewellery makes us feel special and unmistakable, especially if it contains valued, there is a hint of self-refl ection a hint of the famous Tiff any blue. and social judgement creeping in at

ewellery is the ultimate accessory, being the Hairy growler. Don’t unlike shoes, jewellery takes worry, its jewellery isn’t ‘hairy’ or Jno eff ort to try on and when ‘growls’, instead this stall off ers very window shopping; it is often a innovative designs, being inspired gleaming necklace, or shiny bracelet by nature and natural forms. Expect Charity which catches the eye of the gazer leafy tones and autumnal colours, passing by. For me, jewellery is perfect for fi nishing off a new spring almost as important as the outfi t outfi t. Some of the jewellery too is itself, whether bespoke or quirky, recycled, an added ‘green’ bonus, it is the fi nishing touch which can and all the items are handcrafted in make or break an outfi t. Cambridge using traditional tools Shop Finds and techniques. Perhaps a more One of the best independent ethical choice, yet be careful not to jewellery shops in town is Cambridge spend your entire student loan on contemporary crafts. It sells fun and this stall (it is rather tempting). unique accessories, its jewellery is is little friend here is great for a average priced but it’s fun designs Lastly, for those of you who remain number of reasons: are distinctive from the highstreets indecisive or picky around choosing shops. If you want something the perfect bracelet for a new dress individual but not an overstatement or a matching necklace for a formal 1. It promotes healthy then their jewellery is perfect for then e Beaderie (14 Magdalene living, raspberries are looking stylish every day. St, Cambridge CB3 0AF) along fruit. Magdalene Street is the perfect If you are looking for a feminine place for you to get creative and pick 2. It was a Ted Baker twist, perhaps a garden party or out the right beads for your very brand new ring found in may ball, then Lilac Rose (71 own item of jewellery. a charity shop. Bridge St, CB2 1UR) is the place to go. Aff ordable, but also another Everyone at Cambridge is an 3. It is kitsch and independent store, a bracelet will individual in their own right, and kitsch always cost on average £15. Not too pricey, therefore fi nding the perfect item returns. considering it is an independent of jewellery to make you stand out store, their designs are classy but and looking your best is highly 4. It fi ts perfectly. sophisticated. Lilac Rose’s jewellery important! BETH CLOUGHTON has charm, with very pretty designs 5. It acts as a under- this store is also a good place for last Luckily, Cambridge has a fantastic cover knuckle duster. minute Mother’s day shopping array of independent shops to explore, so don’t worry, the next 6. Designer fashion eventually streams into the char- But if you want something diff erent, person you sit next to in a lecture ity shops for you to pick up at a percent of the original then try the All Saints Garden, Art will not be wearing that same ring – cost. and Craft Market (Trinity Street, I can assure you! CB2 1TQ).  ere you will fi nd an 7. It is fruit ring! Fruit on a ring! Beth Cloughton array of diff erent stalls, my favourite 26 eatre Friday 22nd January 2016

GIVING TRAGEDY A MAKEOVER TROJAN BARBIE TROJAN BARBIE

Eleanor Costello speaks with the creative team as they prepare for opening night

et’s get away from the epic- but not real people. It blurs the face of then she’ll completely change when ness. ese are real charac- the victims. So that’s what we’re using she talks to someone else. She puts on “Lters, real women – and let’s the doll to symbolise. these diff erent faces.” e play has its show that.” Emma Blacklay-Piech (brief) lighter moments through the is in full-on director mode, pacing “I’d like people to leave with a diff er- doom and gloom. “ ere’s one bit in around the ADC bar mid-rehearsal. ent perspective on how they’re view- particular with Helen when her hus- It’s two weeks before opening night, ing the current situation in Syria – be- band comes back,” Eleanor says, and and today they’re focusing on a scene cause everyone knows about it, and when she catches Emma’s eye they where Andromache (Kate Marston) these characters show the lives of real both laugh. “I don’t want to give too tells Hecuba (Bethan Davidson) of the people. And not just the refugees, this much away. You start out laughing death of her child. It’s a poignant scene plays gives the voice to soldiers as well. because it’s ridiculous, and then sud- in an unmercifully heart-rending play. at’s another reason why I chose this denly you’re shocked. You really see all It’s somewhat jarring to watch the re- re-working of the play, because it of Helen’s cunning artfulness coming hearsal – one moment the actors are shows male characters who are just as out fully.” laughing and messing around, and disillusioned as the women are. I want the next they’re in tears, enveloped the audience to leave with some em- Emma agrees: “ ere’s a real shift in in their roles. Trojan Barbie is based pathy.” Which characters in particular that scene. It starts out quite light. upon Euripides’s Trojan Women, and have appealed to Eleanor and Emma Will Bishop is playing Melanaus, and Emma explains the link between the personally? Eleanor and Emma pull he’s immensely Hugh Grant-esque two plays as we sit down to talk: “What faces as they stop to consider. “I re- in that scene, so it’s funny. And then Christine Evans has done is she’s taken ally love the character of Cassandra,” one of the most traumatic moments these characters, and she’s put them in Eleanor fi nally says. “Everyone in this of the play happens, which is com- the modern world. You start off with camp is trying to hold onto their san- pletely unexpected.” Eleanor also talks a character called Lottie who’s from ity, but from the off Cassandra is com- animatedly about the charities that the Reading, who is very much a modern pletely diff erent – she’s just bouncing play is hoping to support. “We found character. She comes to Turkey on and skipping around the stage.” some charities which specifi cally sup- holiday and then gets caught up in this port women who have had to fl ee or confl ict at a refugee camp.” had to return to war-torn countries, and go through the process of putting It seems particularly apt timing for their lives back together. Women for a play on refugees, something that Women International do some really Emma acknowledges. “One of my fa- good work going into communities. vourite scenes is the fi rst scene, where IT SHOWS MALE CHARACTERS Rather than just providing money, Lottie meets Andronice. e modern WHO ARE JUST AS they provide very specifi c training world meets the ancient world, and programmes for women to help them just seeing those two worlds collide DISILLUSIONED AS THE build networks in their community and have a conversation is so strik- and rebuild what’s been torn apart – ing. I think that’s where you really WOMEN ARE they give training to help them set up see the relevance of this text and see new businesses or enter new indus- that nothing’s changed. When you tries.” set these epic characters in a modern “Yes,” Emma agrees. “In the traditional context in a modern camp, especially version of the text Cassandra has the “ ey also give really important help given what’s going on in Syria and in gift of foresight, but she is cursed be- like better healthcare resources, just Europe with all of these camps being cause no one believes her – they just so that these people can survive in a set up, then it’s so powerful to see how think she’s mad. But in our version country that is really unstable. eir it’s the same story. ese women ex- what Christine Evans has done is very website is really good, I’d really en- isted for all this time. Women who are clever. She [Cassandra] has post-trau- courage people to have a look. You can losing their sons to war, who are losing matic amnesia, and she’s stuck in this fi nd detailed reports on what they’re children to rebel forces.” childlike state from before all of this doing in various countries; they have trauma happened to her. e way that a support-a-sister scheme where you Producer Eleanor Mitchell chimes in: she speaks doesn’t make any sense on can send money to a specifi c commu- “One of our fi rst chats about this was paper – but gradually the audience re- nity.” As we wrap up the interview, I how women-specifi c the play is. ese alise that she is actually talking about ask whether there’s anything else that women are mothers and they’re wives something else.” Eleanor nods. “I have they’d like to add. “We’ve done some and they’re friends, and it’s looking a lot of empathy for her and feel very really cool things with the lighting at those relationships and what hap- sorry for her. She has this monologue and the set and everything. I’m really pens to them in those situations.” So, that’s incredibly aff ecting, and I’m re- excited to see it all happen,” Eleanor could we describe the Trojan Barbie ally excited to see that on stage.” Emma says. Emma nods. “Come see it if you as a political play? To my surprise, enthuses about her favourite charac- have any interest in Syria, or any inter- Emma vehemently shakes her head. ter, Helen of Troy “She’s so diff erent to est in women’s position in society, or “ is play isn’t about changing peo- the other women in the camp, and she just if you want to see some really bad- ple’s opinions on refugees, it’s not got has so many layers. With other char- ass acting. e cast are phenomenal. a political stance. It’s just giving these acters, like Hecuba, you see them for We’re ready to run.” people a voice. It’s allowing people to who they are. With Helen you never see what the media doesn’t show. I re- really know who she is. She has a dif- Trojan Barbie is at the ADC eatre at ally like the use of the Barbie doll in ferent role for the men, a diff erent role 7:45pm from Tuesday 26th - Saturday the play, because it made me think for the women. You’ll see that in the 30th January. You can fi nd out more about the way that the media reports play; she’ll be playing one character about Women for Women Internation- crises. It talks about facts and fi gures when she talks to one person, and al at www.womenforwomen.org.uk. CLARE FRESHERS’ PLAY Friday 2016 22nd January CONFESSIONS Eleanor Costello Eleanor CAMBRIDGE REVIEWER THEATRE OF A the production, so you are equally equally are you so production, eff into the and ort time of lot in- a have vested who people real are that these aware intensely are you again, then But torture”. of instrument an as used be to potential life”, “has and my of hours two disaster”,worst “the absolute “an as such phrases pering whis- performance, the throughout unleash to lingering been that’s mind inner-Satan the your of back the an play painful. is awful review to having then disap- pointing, is play awful an see to going if Because unpleasant. horribly really power deserved – and also something about fying having such complete un- fiof satis- out something ve. is ere performance the rates then and ets, tick-two their collects ADC, theinto strolls up, signs simply then reviewer the and tears… with and sweat, along blood, production, every into poured is hour upon Hour country. inthe andartists performers talented R ees tril tmtto at temptation terrible a ere’s blessed with some of the most most the of some with blessed Weexperience. unique a areis Cambridge in plays eviewing a play? writing of endeavour the on take you one direct your play? your one direct before? AJ: for me. quite tricky endingwas tory satisfac- a and climax a to it Bringing abitofconundrum. our version,was in especially end, they how but begin, they how knows Everyone fairytales. diffi with it’s working and cult script, fi the to nish me for time for pushed were we - act second the writing been fun. I think for me be the hardest part has to going is hopefully on which stage, around mucking and playing for opportunities new are explicit. ere more them make to things over go to had I when. and happening, is action be very clear about where the dramatic like tohave you – prose or poem a writing not it’s posed because which problems stage, some the for written BS: AJ: to develop. began gradually and that’sinterweaving, how the script ally interested in the idea of and fusion with ytales, a darker Wetwist. were re- up with the of idea adapting three fair- came eventually and on, put to about what around ideas some threw and Santos: Beatriz ( Jennings Anna characters that I had written because because written had I that characters the ‘get’ would actors the hoping I was faith! of leap huge a was over it ing hand- but confihands, feel his in dent I and director fantastic a is Josh great; BS: silence and intimidating glower when girl’s the pondering was I stone. like face a had girl alone. is me leave to it couldn’t get I frenzy. crazed a in hands my at swiping me, to next sat was and inside me followed had cat the because mainly – story exciting very a was it thought I past. I’dwalked as me bite to up leaped had side out- cat a how about story a her ing tell- was I friendly. very being wasn’t she that noticed quickly next and girl me, the to to chatted I dressed As I room. dressing the in was team other I the whilst so changed get and to had match, football college for a late up you’ve turned once people I reviewed. into bumping start ifit’s even truth, harsh. the tell you so and – it see and go to room your of out yourself dragging worth it’s whether of account honest an give to is role your that fact the to gether.” In the end you resign yourself but “didn’t production the to-comequite “talented” were actors the how the on about mumble and something review three-stars slap to tempted you eventually that is problem e

oe s s h firt ie I’ve fi time the rst is is Nope! It’s been terrifying, but also really really also but terrifying, It’sbeen Have you done anything like this this like anything done you Have What’s it been like letting some- letting like been it What’s eatre writer and director Freshers’ year’s ofthis Clare writer Play, e l gt together got all We Varsity Anna Jennings INTO THE ):

h did Why WOODS duction. However,the duction. struck disaster pro- the about like didn’t and liked I explainingwhatexactly review long a reasonable seven out of ten and wrote a them gave I so them, knew I cause feel that just be- I could too biased be ing but it just wasn’t my thing. I didn’t entertain- fairly play. the was Itenjoy nice review. Almost inevitably, I didn’t be great and I could give them a really would production their fi that my crossing ngers was I so them, of few a as subject same the studied I cations. publi- student Cambridge’sesteemed of another it?) admit col- I (dare my for lege from people of group a by show sketch a reviewed I when came meto the ground. tackled she case in ball terrifithe touch to ed match,the of rest the for her avoided and I had made my displeasure clear. I through, halfway asleep fallen almost I’d long, hours three almost – erable mis- so just was production the but personal, too anything said hadn’t I horrifia review. her c given a and play, in her reviewed had I before days the– truth only awful three I realised your job? relationship? working AJ: about. I’ve to worry hadless that so happens everything that sure making and together everyone getting of job fantastic a our done Alex, has producer, great. is team production the and Weactors, of team brilliant havea smooth. really been has duction pro- the force of much driving So play. the the behind is really It device. nice really a the it’s - is in written it’s script verse the about love I things crazy the of One the created. she which world imagining to close where some- get to trying and them through reading scenes, new getting process: this loved really have I with! work to Cleary: Josh oh ie. e’e las ne the under always sides. ey’re both new way thereas are audience a on members in act to have who actors, the for especially challenging, is this ever, diff very How- way.a erent in out laid are audience the and theatre, usual a like not it’s because be to place great a is which Cellars, Clare using are we JC: AJ: and enjoy it. it into get really will audience the ing hop- I’m so twists, plot ridiculous and cult to grasp. ere are also a few crazy diffi be might it time, their take quite - don’t or up, speed actors the if verse, in it’s written As well. delivered is text the that and right lines the gets ryone eve- that hoping is aspects wracking nerve- most the of one me for think I head. my in just all were they before mc mr akad incident awkward more much A One of the main problems is that is problems main the of One

chats to Beatriz Santos and Josh Santos Cleary, toBeatriz chats hts en h hret at of part hardest the been What’s How would you describe your your describe you would How Beatriz is really great great really is Beatriz of glory. world to see, a bestowing kind special will write your appreciation for all the You appreciation. their show to claps else Everyone face. your on lit- smile tle smug the hide cannot you produc- tion, the of end the at applauds mind for a long time. theAs audience their in stick will which lines the and about the moments which made them gasp, actors, the about gush alight. ey set is writing eir duction. has clearly fallen in love with the pro- writer the where review a than read to pleasant more and write to isfying sat- more is fi review No play. ve-star a across come you when it worth all it’s because – simple is answer e unfortunate. to tell them what had Veryhappened. to me again, so I didn’t get the chance spoke cast the of None review. brutal rather a leaving comments, nice my of all out cut had article). editor an e on name my seeing of out kick a get I but know, I sad (it’s review my at online look a had I when day next eForest Grimm out theprocess? ple should come and see theplay? ple should comeandsee AJ: locations. entrances peculiar from some have and creatively more the space use to tried We’ve monotonous. become to staging the want don’t you and strip long it’sa because exits, and entrances the was all on fi out to gure early trying had I problems the of One display. on constantly spotlight, www.adcticketing.com Tickets at now booked can be 24th-26th at8pm. January Cellars, eForest Grimm is great! be in–it’ll pop to courage the has everyone hope I so and it is literally down in Clare Cellars, hole, rabbit the down adventure crazy a It’s heart. off fairytales by know all we these which with working when BS: pletely mad-insuch way! abrilliant time I saw a play likeIt’s it. mad. Com- can’tI and last theexciting, remember JC: AJ: much. ittoo about think to not try and rehearsal next the untilhavejust wait to take a step back, you sometimes not but together, everything coming about worrying and details the all about thinking moment every spend to easy really it’s this like production a With it. about thinking stop to when knowing also but page, same the on is everyone that sure ing mak- about all it’s guess I answer! my JC: So why do I continue reviewing? reviewing? continue I do why So eas, ts nqe i’ fn it’s fun, it’s unique, it’s Because, I don’t drink coff ee, so that can’t be

Finally, can you sum up why peo- What has kept you sane through- sane you kept has What I have tried to make it fresh, even even fresh, it make to tried have I onin Clare 27 28 Reviews Friday 22nd January 2016 20TH CENTURY FOX 20TH CENTURY

shots used in the opening sequence created perfection. It is very easy to FILM perfectly draw the viewer into the ter- get caught up in a fi lm’s imagery and ror of the fur trappers as they fl ee from forgive its other failings. Much of this The Revenant the vengeful First Nations warriors. fi lm lacks dialogue. DiCaprio’s charac- At this fi lm’s heart is survival and ter is silent for so long it is shocking dir. Alejandro G. Iñárritu, 156 mins all its attendant pain. All the public- when he speaks. Many of the fi lm’s ity for this fi lm has focused on what shots are the struggle of men trudg-  DiCaprio went through to create his ing through the endless expanses of performance and the end result cer- the American West. And this leaves hen I left this fi lm my friend tainly justifi es the means. He produces the fi lm feeling strangely incomplete. asked if I was alright.  at a very physical portrayal of Glass but I can understand that Iñárritu was W was no coincidence. My it is startlingly eff ective.  is is not the looking to use this silence to portray face was clearly refl ecting the feelings pithy, eloquent DiCaprio of e Wolf the isolation of those left alone with of mild shell-shock at what I had just of Wall Street.  is is gritty DiCaprio nature. But this could have been bal- seen. ‘Enjoy’ is not the right word for at his fi nest. In one scene he is caught anced with more scenes that develop this fi lm. It absorbs every fi bre of your up in the maelstrom of a freezing riv- the multiple parties we cut between being into the American West and er, and I totally forgot I was watching in this fi lm. It would have been fasci- refuses to let go until the end. a fi lm. By genuinely putting DiCaprio nating to have had a reasonable por- On the surface it seems a simple in a freezing river, Iñárritu added a tion of screen time with the group of premise. Director Alejandro González layer of realism lost in modern cine- First Nations people, exploring their Iñárritu focuses on the tale of Hugh ma. DiCaprio’s pain feels real because, drive for revenge against the invading Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio), a fur trap- frankly, it partly is, and that makes his Americans. Striking imagery does not per left for dead on a hunting mission performance all the more believable. produce a coherent fi lm, and at times in the 1820s American West.  e fi lm However this is not a one-man show. the fi lm feels like it is trying to say too develops into a tale of revenge between  e rest of the cast provide sterling much. Iñárritu’s vision was too mind- Glass and Tom Hardy’s character John performances that complete the pic- boggling to be contained by the paltry Fitzgerald. But beneath this simplicity ture. Tom Hardy is menacing as John limits of the screen. If he had reined is a subtle exploration of major forces Fitzgerald, a brooding presence will- himself in, and created a tighter nar- of existence, swinging from survival to ing to do anything to succeed in the rative, the themes would have shone the meaning of the divine – all within bleakness of the American Frontier. through all the stronger. the two and a half hour running time. Will Poulter is another highlight as Overall, this fi lm is a fl awed work Undoubtedly, the star of this fi lm is Jim Bridger, portraying brilliantly the of art, pushing the boundaries of fi lm- the cinematography. Each shot was a terror of a young man broken by his making, with the consequence of los- work of art, with the camera sweep- experiences on the expedition – mem- ing some narrative coherency. It re- ing from vast glaciers to snowy for- ories of his breakout role as Eustace in mains the most beautiful fi lm I’ve ever ests – justifying the methodical use of the Narnia fi lms are long gone. Indeed seen, but not the best. Nevertheless, only natural light to build this fi lm. All the First Nations actors have received I believe it will be the fi lm that gets the human actors are totally dwarfed a criminally low amount of media at- DiCaprio his elusive Oscar – if it by nature; a shot of DiCaprio trudg- tention, passing over some of the doesn’t, I dread to think what he’ll put ing totally alone across a vast glacier strongest performances in the fi lm. himself through next. is something to behold.  e tracking Yet, despite all this, Iñárritu has not Alex Izza

set of photos atop a table was hardly a creativity and promise: I’d defi nitely EXHIBITION match for a portrait of Erasmus; black like to see more. FILM Room. But for a little boy who has and white drawings were swamped by However, the star of the show – and never even believed in the existence of Queens’ Arts the majestic polychromy of the walls I’m certain many others would agree Room Outside, the world is an imposing and and ceiling. with me – was Emma Wood. Dozens of confusing place. dir. Lenny Abrahamson, 118 mins Festival  at said, there was a welcoming her drawings were pegged to lines that Brie Larson is fantastic as Ma, por- and comforting atmosphere. With a crisscrossed the room. Dealing with a traying a character who is completely 13-17/01/2016 fi re burning to one side and a table range of topics – love, life as a young  devoted to giving her son the best adorned with free wine, it was a pleas- person, many focusing on Cambridge life possible in the most diffi cult of   ant place to pass some time perusing student life – her simple doodles were oom, directed by Lenny circumstances. Larson also captures the art and chatting to whomever had funny, engaging and at times touch- Abrahamson, is a truthful, the stress, fear and, at times, despair here isn’t much of an art scene turned up. It did feel like some of those ing.  e arrangement of the display, R sensitive adaptation of Emma of a woman imprisoned for so long. in Cambridge, or at least, not in attendance were merely drawn in by although striking, was annoying: I Donoghue’s 2010 novel, which man- Inside Room, her wide-eyed, harried T one related to the university the promise of free wine; nonetheless, spent too much time craning my neck ages to be touching and deeply aff ect- expression is a constant reminder of itself. Queens’ Arts Festival – as well they stayed for the art, which I suppose or standing awkwardly in doorways ing without ever slipping into sugary her nightmarish circumstances. Sean as the upcoming John Hughes Arts was the point.  e art itself was mixed. and, as such, defi nitely missed a few of sentimentality. With a brilliant script, Bridgers is also excellent as her cap- Festival – provides a rare opportunity  e pieces were mostly small; though them. Without wanting to be too em- great acting and beautiful cinematog- tor. He provides a harsh edge to Ma for students to exhibit their art. It’s paying close attention paid dividends, phatic, I’d happily buy a book of these raphy, this fi lm, although at times very and Jack’s sometimes idyllic existence, amazing what some people manage and some gems really shone through. doodles or, perhaps more realistically, diffi cult to watch, remains optimistic jostling unpredictably between slimy to produce, presumably in the little To name but a few, I’d have to men- spend too much time procrastinating in spite of its subject matter. friendliness and violent anger. spare time they manage to fi nd here. tion Vincent Hao’s photos, Rosanna on a tumblr of them. Room is the tale of a woman who Amazingly, however, it is Jacob Unfortunately – perhaps unsurpris- Suppa’s ink drawings – one of which I  is is why it’s a real shame that has been abducted and held for seven Tremblay who runs the show. His ingly – this meant a lot of the pieces would have happily paid for and hung there aren’t more artistic and creative years in a fortifi ed garden shed in sub- performance is brilliant, fi lled with on display at the exhibition were small on my wall – and Tanya Basi’s paint- events in Cambridge, certainly none urban America, and is raped nightly intricate physical details, such as his or simple works: there was a domi- ing of Queens’. Despite resting on with a large audience or a notable by her abductor, by whom she has a sheepish habit of looking at people in nance of drawings and photos, with a bench to one side, I was drawn to platform. Not only do student artists child.  e fi lm opens on the morning Outside from under his long hair, and the seemingly obligatory display of life Eloise Gillow’s Magdalene watercol- need a space to display their work, it of her son Jack’s fi fth birthday. Wishing his fi rst tentative, barefoot steps on an drawings tucked in one corner. our: elegant yet simple, it had a pro- can also be a real joy to spend time ap- to shield him from the nightmarish unfamiliar surface. Jack’s optimism  e overall display was very inter- fessional air to it. Nonetheless, I did preciating it. It doesn’t just have to be truth of both of their lives, the woman, and resilience makes the fi lm ultimate- esting, albeit slightly underwhelming. hear a fellow visitor ask their partner students like myself, who are slightly known to Jack as Ma, has taught him ly very affi rming. He is happy in Room,  is was no fault of the artworks or - repeatedly, it must be said - wheth- obsessed with art and have spent too that Room is all that exists, and this and though it will take some getting the curators, though: with Queens’ er or not it was fi nished. Meanwhile much time in the Fitzwilliam Museum: pretence allows Jack to be happy. Ma used to, he will be happy in Outside phenomenal Old Hall as their location, Lauren Downing’s illustrations (part art can be pretty, engaging, fun and however remains desperate to escape, too. it was always going to be a tall order of a children’s book being prepared for simple - and it deserves to be seen. and concocts a plan with Jack to leave One of the most intriguing aspects to compete with the surroundings. A a postgraduate course) showed fl air, Louis Shankar Friday 22nd January 2016 Reviews 29

ALBUM ALBUM

ELEMENT PICTURES Daughter - Not To Disappear Future - Purple Reign

released 15/1, 4AD / Glassnote released 17/1, self-released

 

feel numb, I feel numb in this kingdom” Elena Tonra With the dual Prince and royalty allusion as his new sings wearily on ‘Numbers’, one of the standout sin- mixtape’s title and with a healthy dose of arrogance back- “I gles from Daughter’s second LP, Not to Disappear. ing up its surprise release, Future is making some serious Oddly enough, this lyric goes some way towards perfectly claims towards membership of the hip-hop elite.  e thing summarising the feelings of indiff erence I have towards this is, based on his previous two releases, he can probably album. In the past, I’d always relied on Daughter’s music to back it up. Solo eff ort DS2 and What a Time to Be Alive, provide me with a kind of crude emotional exorcism during his collaboration with Drake, were both huge hits, cata- my most self-pitying and vulnerable moments: previous re- pulting him toward stardom at an astonishing pace. leases such as ‘Youth’ and ‘Medicine’ had a failsafe capacity But that newfound spotlight is not a kind place to many to reduce me to a bawling, leaking wreck of a man when artists – many have looked back on WaTtBA as a service exposed to their haunting melodies and searingly honest provided for Drake’s benefi t. Future has only really had one lyrics. With this in mind, I turned to this record only to be signifi cant solo success, and he has yet to provide the con- shocked to fi nd that the shoulders upon which I had always sistent output to justify the dizzying hype being piled upon reliably wept on had turned their back on me. In their place him. So his status is ripe for being challenged: is Future are ten songs defi ned far more by disenchantment than any really in command? strong emotions: the arctic, biting misery of their fi rst al- Purple Reign bares the hallmarks of an artist who has bum has thawed into a kind of lukewarm cynicism. arrived. Future’s identifying style has barely changed, hav- Its opening track, ‘New Ways’, is not so much cathartic as ing found a groove alongside his regular producers. He has draining, hobbling along under a limp drum patter before completely settled in to his role, which is to defi ne, repre- petering out in what is an entirely forgettable pre-amble sent and relentlessly sell trap music. It is a totally respect- to the next leg of the album.  en, on ‘To Belong’, Tonra able position to have reached. grumpily shrugs off the dying embers of a relationship over  e problem is that it’s insuff erably boring. He has a track where weary blips and pulses drift into a hazy and pumped out a set of smooth, predictable tracks with little underwhelming guitar chorus. ‘No Care’ continues the about them to diff erentiate them from the rest of Future’s sense of apathy, aff ecting tired, lazy guitar jangles and pas- output or, indeed, each other. Now that he has shown off his sive-aggressive lyrics delivered in an uncaring drawl. Nor defi ning sound so completely, now that his messy breakup does Not to Disappear fi nish any diff erently to the way it (with RnB singer Ciara) has been resolved, now that the starts: ‘Made of Stone’ is eff ectively a static and slow-burn- boundaries that trap was fi ghting in its inception have been ing outro to see off an album that never really gets going. well and truly eradicated; what remains on this release is a In fact, the deeper you delve into the record, the more the complete lack of struggle or tension in the delivery of these songs seem to blur into one another under the same sense tracks. of tired detachment. And it is a shame that Purple Reign ended up that way, of the fi lm is its ability to suggest that his understanding of everything, Jack  is is not to say that there aren’t a few highlights along the given the components for a much more engaging project are Room might perhaps be a kind of idyl- yells, ‘I don’t want this story!’ way. ‘Doing the Right  ing’ is as hard-hitting as it gets the- there. Led by Metro Boomin, the producers turned in a very lic place to grow up in. Faced with Ma’s reply is a tragic summary of matically: it documents the decline of Tonra’s grandmother respectable and, occasionally, inventive set of beats: ‘Run circumstances that don’t make sense, the reality of living with knowledge of while suff ering from Alzheimer’s disease.  e creeping loss Up’ channels the best of UK grime with its angular, awk- and that certainly don’t match with Outside: ‘ is is the story you get.’ of her identity is steadily teased out through its lyrics: “I’ll ward shuffl e, while ‘Inside the Mattress’ and ‘All Right’ are the world he sees on TV, Jack invents Room’s fantastic acting, powerful lose my mind / then I’ll lose my children / then I’ll lose my thunderous slices of hard hitting body music. Occasionally, an elaborate and fl exible mythology script and complex themes benefi t love”. It’s one of few moments where the album suddenly those more exciting beats tease out a more dynamic fl ow to explain his life.  ere’s Room, and from beautiful cinematography which starts up from its relentless moping to off er a genuine sense from Future, but the majority of these tracks are ponderous outside, there’s outer space.  e things is at times breathtaking.  e fi rst sec- of agony - in many ways it is one of the most beautiful songs and dull. on TV are not real, the things in Room tion of the fi lm, set entirely within that the band have ever written. Similarly, ‘Fossa’ uses some  e failure of this album is set in relief when you have are. Jack and Ma are real: their captor Room, gives an eloquent insight into of the most direct and polished images of any of their songs. a look at the artists Future is up against, making vicious, is ‘maybe half’. Jack’s view of his world, making the Translating from Latin as ‘trench’, it explores the narrow, danceable hip-hop music that also manages to retain a most of the enclosed space and of the suff ocating feeling of being trapped in romantic longing for sense of invention. A$AP Rocky’s last album, At.Long.Last. close ups which maximise it, which someone else with little hope of it ever being returned: “Be A$AP, adds a delirious and cinematic quality to its low- mimics his perspective as a child. what you want / I could be what you want”, Tonra repeats. slung, Southern sound with a mad lyrical sensibility to cap Likewise the camera work in Outside However, the most interesting thing on the album by far is it off ; its sales even matched Future’s own smash DS2. focuses closely on Jack’s physical re- ‘Numbers’: through creaking, sprawling synths and roving Long Beach-native Vince Staples certainly won’t man- THERE’S ROOM, AND OUTSIDE, sponses to his new surroundings, al- guitar melodies, a spacious, otherworldly soundscape is age to beat Future commercially, but his breakout album, lowing the audience to perfectly follow created. Added to this is the genuinely striking idea at the Summertime ’06, marries deathly, stark beats to a pointed THERE’S OUTER SPACE his reactions even as shyness limits his heart of the song: “I’ll wash my mouth but still taste you”. It political statement, all the while wrapping it up in an in- dialogue.  e fi rst shot of Jack outside acts as a bitter criticism of hook-up culture and the grubby, telligently structured narrative.I’m so down on this Future of Room, looking wide-eyed up at the lurking regret felt after a one night stand. release only because we have come to expect so much more With the creation of these stories sky, is gasp-inducing.  ese songs, arresting in both their sound and content, from him: he proved on DS2 that he can be one of the most comes a wonderful freedom to choose Room, although at times incredibly are an indication of what could have been had the band not interesting artists around. Maybe that was more a product the truth, and arriving in Outside, de- confronting and diffi cult to watch, chosen to settle for tasteful yet dull tracks over riskier, ex- of his circumstance than anything innate to the music; more spite the countless wonderful things, is is fantastic.  e script is strong and perimental and more emotive ones. As technically impres- happy accident than concerted eff ort. a loss of this. Jack’s reluctance to relin- masterfully brought to life by director sive as the music might get at points, I couldn’t help but Future has already stated that this is only the start of his quish this imaginary world is brilliant- and actors alike. Although there is no part with the album feeling underwhelmed. Where some of release schedule for this year – last year produced three ly expressed when Ma tries to explain question that Room is a deeply aff ect- their previous releases used to rage tragically against their mixtapes and an album. Hopefully, somewhere in those re- the circumstances of her abduction to ing fi lm, what shines is Jack’s resilience fate, this record, on the whole, quietly simmers in the back- leases is a new idea for what Future’s project is really about. Jack. Frustrated by his inability to un- and optimism. In spite of all its dark- ground. ‘Not to Disappear’, an album which is dedicated fi rst  at idea has been lost somewhere along the way, and derstand the story, and frightened by ness, this fi lm is ultimately stirring and and foremost to being memorable and to retaining a sense Purple Reign really shows it. its darkness and the threat it poses to affi rming. Clare Cavenagh of one’s identity, will ironically become entirely forgettable to me in a few weeks’ time. Ben Waters Michael Davin 30 Sport Friday 22nd January 2016 Why Ronnie O’Sullivan is a threat to snooker

Gabr el Gendler winning the requisite ten on the trot. winning streak, the most competitive elsewhere. On form, he doesn’t lose on the individual are precisely those When he produced a stylish 136 in centuries and the most competitive at all. that fi nd themselves in the condi- Sport Correspondent the third, Alexandra Palace erupted. maximum breaks, including the three  e Rocket raises diffi cult ques- tion that snooker fi nds itself in now. When a wayward pink sank out of fastest in history. His records cover tions for the sport. On some levels, he Tiger Woods monopolised golf for ‘Remarkable’ would be a fi tting adjec- pure luck to award him the ninth, the every aspect of the game, and are can only strengthen it; he is a pleas- a decade. So did Roger Federer and tive to describe Ronnie O’Sullivan’s discomfort was audible. all the more remarkable for the fact ure to watch, and sessions in which Michael Schumacher in tennis and sixth victory in a Masters Final. ‘Pain- His dominance is virtually unpar- that he has achieved them despite a he plays are invariably sold out. In a Formula 1 respectively. Athletes and ful’ would be more fi tting still.  e alleled in any sport. Even before last long history of false retirements, long more abstract sense, he makes a farce swimmers can dominate their events Rocket, as O’Sullivan is colloquially week he had won each of the Triple sabbaticals, depression and drug- of snooker. We are entertained, be- for years - Michael Phelps is the obvi- known, dropped a solitary frame to Crown events on fi ve occasions. He related issues. On the rare occasion cause we are attracted to talent and ous example, but not the only one. In an underwhelming Hawkins before holds the records for the longest that he loses, it’s because his mind is genius, but the higher form of enter- contrast, winning the Premier League tainment through sport - the dialectic, ordinarily involves winning only two the battle of wits, the manoeuvring out of every three matches. and predicting - leaves the Crucible when Ronnie enters it. Instead of the thought-provoking psychologi- GLOBAL PANORAMA cal thriller that it should be, snooker is a feel-good American college fl ick about a fraternity of one. SNOOKER IS A FEEL-GOOD  is is not a fate to which all sports AMERICAN COLLEGE FLICK are vulnerable. When Barcelona dominate club football, their tougher ABOUT A FRATERNITY OF ONE fi xtures don’t become routine. Each challenger brings a game plan, and the champions must respond. Federer’s  ere is a great deal of value in reign in tennis was soured by his sports that place a premium on in- head-to-head inferiority to Nadal. dividual performance.  ese are the  e rapid exchange of movements, contests that test an athlete’s mental decisions and ideas that comprise resources, require remarkable physi- most confrontational sports means cal achievements and produce inspi- that the strength of an individual or rational champions.  ey are more team does not compromise the enter- inclusive; it is easier to go for a jog tainment value of each encounter. than to organise a game of rugby.  ere was no such dialectic on Nevertheless, when talented outliers Sunday. In each frame, Hawkins played like O’Sullivan turn up the sport itself a few shots, and then gave way for a becomes vulnerable – and snooker is solo performance from O’Sullivan. under rocket fi re. Snooker admits some degree of con- Should we be worried?  ere are frontational play, in the form of shot enough reasons to be cheerful. Today selection, but it is a solo sport com- we can enjoy a master at work - and pared to football or rugby. Indeed, eventually, everyone will be defeated Is Ronnie the Rocket torpedoing snooker’s integrity? the disciplines that focus primarily by time. OPEN DAY 23 MARCH 2016

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20 Fenchurch Street, 24th Floor, London, EC3M 3BY www.velaw.com Friday 22nd January 2016 Sport 31 Is there really no ‘I’ in ‘team’? As Lionel Messi picks up his fi fth Ballon d’Or, Ravi Willder wonders whether individual awards and media coverage pervert the true spirit of team sport

An old cliché continually circles the for club and country. It was the lat- spirit which sport strives to promote. such as tennis singles, players take the backing of a team to attain the team-based sports of this world; that ter’s role in a record-breaking year One thinks of the predilection pains to thank people that have con- highest glory. Messi and Ronaldo the word ‘team’ lacks an ‘I’, forever for his team Barcelona, however, that of back page headlines to attribute tributed to their success. Backroom owe much to their teammates who quipped in the (often futile) hope scooped him the prize; the Catalan sporting successes to a sole individu- staff , coaches, trainers, and parents consistently provide them with the that this mere grammatical quirk will outfi t won everything on off er in al, thus discarding the holistic eff ort always feature prominently in victo- opportunity to shine, even if it means discourage egotistical play on the Spain and Europe in 2015 by winning embodied by the victorious team. rious acceptance speeches. Players they themselves perform a less glam- corresponding pitch or court. e the elusive treble of La Liga, Copa del For instance, headlines at the week- realise that even the most incredible orous role in the team’s eventual suc- lesser-observed retort to this gno- Rey and UEFA Champions League, as end after Manchester United’s win at talent requires the support of a whole cess. While individual excellence can mic statement is to respond with an well as claiming the showpiece UEFA Liverpool focused on the goalscorer host of qualifi ed professionals and propel a player into the limelight, only equally sage remark: that while this Super Cup and FIFA Club World Wayne Rooney’s role, when in fact family members to be successful. an eff ective instillation of a healthy may be the case, there happen to be Cup. Messi was the orchestrator in he was of far less importance than Even if a cynic might doubt the team ethic can help the player scale fi ve instances of this self-obsessed obtaining a haul of trophies that even the whole of Manchester United’s de- sincerity of some of these platitudes, the pinnacles of sporting success – vowel in ‘individual brilliance’. a Tolkienesque dragon would envy, fence and especially goalkeeper David those of footballers especially, there is even if the media prefer to focus on One could easily imagine the nar- while Ronaldo’s goals could not pre- De Gea in securing a 1-0 win. Further no doubt that an individual requires the glamour of individual talent. cissistic Cristiano Ronaldo reciting vent a barren year for his club of no- afi eld, after Great Britain’s valiant this statement while he looks in the torious high expectations. In keep- Davis Cup triumph in November, nu- mirror every morning, what with the ing with his portrayal as the ultimate merous back pages ran with a head- Real Madrid forward’s propensity for team-player, Messi had 26 assists to line along the lines of ‘Murray wins berating teammates for not passing his name compared to his rival’s 17, Davis Cup for Britain’, and in so doing the ball to him, yet being guilty of do- as he formed a deadly symbiotic tri- disregarded the eff ort put in by his

ing the same on numerous instances dent with Neymar and Suarez at club teammates, who also played a crucial PLUS QATAR DOHA STADIUM in any given match. level. Ronaldo lacked the same spirit, role in clinching the trophy. It was thus a clash of sporting even refusing to celebrate some of his Indeed, sporting egotism is some- ideologies which characterised this club-mates goals in acts that at the times even celebrated by the pub- year’s Ballon D’Or ceremony, the best could be described as extremely lic and media. Maverick footballer most prestigious award in world petulant. Zlatan Ibrahimovic springs to mind. football, where the Portuguese man e Swede’s most famous quotations, o’ war came up against, and lost, to that have won him a cult following on the ultimate team player, as well as social media and in newspapers alike, footballing extraordinaire, Lionel include “An injured Zlatan is a pretty Messi. Messi emerged victorious at serious thing for any team”, and “One the exclusive presentation in Zurich, INDEED, SPORTING EGOTISM IS thing is for sure, a World Cup with- fi nishing with 41 per cent of the total out me is nothing to watch”. Granted, vote compared to Ronaldo’s 28 per SOMETIMES EVEN CELEBRATED the forward is a phenomenally gifted cent, with the nearest rival Neymar BY THE PUBLIC AND MEDIA footballer, yet social media seems to fi nishing a distant third on 8 per cent. revel in his arrogance and disregard But what can this result tell us about for his teammates a tad too much, the regard held, if any, for sporting given that he has never quite reached success anchored in team-orientated Messi’s ability to foster the unity the Olympian heights set by Ronaldo play as opposed to pure individual that led to a historic year, then, along and Messi in his career. talent? with his magisterial ability, was what Ibrahimovic aside, and in contrast e FIFA Ballon D’Or is an award prompted the panel of his peers and to the media, athletes themselves are that defi nes itself by the simple super- journalists to vote him as the Ballon quick to point to their team’s role in lative ‘best’: it is an award bestowed D’Or winner by a considerable mar- their individual success. Messi took upon the ‘world’s best male player’ of gin, while Ronaldo was left empty- pains to thank his teammates in his the previous calendar year. A defi ni- handed at the podium, despite his Ballon D’Or acceptance speech, while tion of ‘best’, however, is one that is goal-scoring feats. On this occasion the response of the winning goalscor- much more ambiguous. On the basis team-play triumphed over individual er/penalty-saving goalkeeper that “the of individual statistics alone, Ronaldo prowess, yet both the public and the three points are the most important would have just edged Messi to the media are at times guilty of elevat- thing” has become somewhat of a cli- prestigious prize, having scored 57 ing one man or woman’s importance ché in post-match interviews. Even in goals compared to the Argentine’s 52 to the extent that it eclipses the team more individually orientated sports, As Zlatan would inform you, there’s a capital ‘I’ in Ibrahimovic

Continued from back page. because so many drugs are allowed e eccentricities of the ‘Special Ones’ But you, dear reader, probably re- here which are banned in track and main largely ambivalent. I like foot- fi eld events. Andy Murray regularly best remembered for the time he cel- who has a greyscale portrait of himself ball and tennis, you say; doping is the goes on the drip to recover from tennis ebrated winning the Russian title by in his own living room. Likewise, Roy problem of other sports. Positive tests matches, a transgression for which Mo running around the pitch topless in Keane, whose wildly staring eyes are here are few and far between. Football, Farah would pick up a two-year ban.

WIKI-COMMONS sub-zero conditions. like portals to a world of hate and an- for all its faults, is a clean sport. Testing is still woefully inadequate. Arsène Wenger, meanwhile, would ger, where Roy and ‘other Roy’ can live Football, and tennis, rugby, cricket Out-of-season checks are absent; it never do such a thing. He’s much in happiness. or golf, bask only in complacency be- means players can use stimulants to more likely to make the point that Some managers are a bit chirpier. cause of their inherent immaturity. artifi cially build up muscle power associating male sexual organs with Ian Holloway always amuses, in a sort To convincingly believe that the most during the off -season; by the time the courage is typical of the patriarchy’s of avuncular, farmery man-in-pub way, lucrative and popular sport in the matches start, the drugs will have left attempt to monopolize certain virtues. and Big Sam’s a laugh. Especially when world would fail to abuse stimulants their system, but their benefi ts will e man thinks. In a recent interview he declares that he wants to manage which would give marked advantages remain. AVB revolutionises sitting with French magazine L’Equipe, he AC Milan. Just as wacky was Andre to any team is wishful thinking. West How much doping exists within refl ected whimsically that only the Villas-Boas (pictured), for his distinc- Germany’s 1954 World Cup winning sports like football is, of course, un- present can yield happiness, because tive, constipation-inspired stance on team have recently been revealed known. A lack of positive tests says Sam Dunn ng “the past holds only regrets, the future the touchline. Reports he is having his to have doped systemically. Players nothing when the sport lacks dop- Sport Correspondent only worries.” Very much the words of poise patented so far remain uncon- on Helenio Herrera’s infamous, and ing tests in general. Yet the problem a “specialist in failure”, or so Mourinho fi rmed. If the managers of the minor widely successful, Inter Milan of the is resurfacing, with a vengeance, for would say. leagues decry bias towards Premier 1960s have told of taking all manner of athletics. Records will be overturned, Football managers are a weird breed. e former Chelsea boss didn’t do League outifts, they always have the unidentifi ed pills with their coff ee in former stars will descend into infamy; When Louis van Gaal was manager of so well this season, but we’re sure that F.A. Cup to show off their eccentrici- the morning before matches. Bayern the sport may take years to recover its Bayern Munich, he wanted to prove he’s sure that he’s still “a special one,” ties. Remember Exeter manager Paul Munich’s long-standing fi tness coach, support and its credibility. Only time to his players that he had the balls to not “one of the bottle,” whatever that Tisdale’s distinctive fedora when his Hans-Wilhelm Muller-Wohlfarth, at- can tell whether football and tennis, drop any of them, and he did so by lit- means. Maybe a poorly translated side faced Liverpool? tempted to use a concoction of stimu- will, at some point, feel its full force. erally showing them his balls. He also Portuguese idiom? An alcoholic’s cry And we’ll always lap it up. Managers lants with calf’s blood to cure Frank When the time does come, they must looks like a thumb. for help? Attempts to become the remain the only mavericks in an in- Ribery of a recurring knee injury two do what athletics must do now, and Luciano Spalletti has recently been “happy one” certainly petered out this creasingly professionalised sport. years ago. face the doping problem head on. appointed manager of Roma for the season. We’re like those seagulls that follow More worrying is the general lack of Perhaps, fi nally, cycling will no longer second time. His last managerial stint More disturbing psychological trawlers. Speaking of, someone should high-profi le doping cases within ten- be a doping scapegoat, but will be- at Zenit St. Petersburg is probably questions hang over Brendan Rogers, defi nitely appoint Cantona manager. nis. On the one hand, this is simply come an example of anti-doping. 32 Sport Friday 22nd January 2016 Sporting individualism Does it detract from the value of team spirit? Page 31.

Sport Doping – sport’s great denial Athletics’ governing body is starting to realise the scale of the doping problem, and it’s time for all sports to take note

Fel x Schl chter from the brink into the cycling fold, he then tested positive for testosterone. Tennis serves Sport Ed tor And what about those athletes who ASIAN AWARDS receive bans for accidental use of or- up a spot of 1923 Tour de France winner Henri dinary, over-the-counter medications, Pélissier was rather frank about the inexplicably banned in their profes- bother life of a pro-cyclist when interviewed sions? What about those athletes who by journalist Albert Londres the fol- knowingly doped for years but receive lowing year. Opening up his bag, he heavily-reduced bans for ratting out Rav W llder pulled out a variety of supplements; their fellow sinners?  e idea that the Sport Ed tor this is cocaine for our eyes, he ex- anti-doping authorities will eventu- plained, chloroform for our gums, lin- ally fi nd the holy-grail of a fair, secure Tennis has joined the sports suff ering iment for our joints. “At night, in our method for prosecuting the guilty and a personal crisis. While tennis players rooms, we can’t sleep. We twitch and saving the innocent is ludicrous.  ere this week have had to contend with dance and jig about as though we were is no magic formula. sweltering heat on court at the fi rst doing St. Vitus’ dance.” For some desperate souls who gave Grand Slam of the year, the Austral- A national anti-doping law came up promising desk-jobs to follow their ian Open, the sport’s governing bodies into eff ect in 1965, too late to pre- dreams, who were perhaps held back have been exposed to uncomfortable vent Knud Enemark Jensen’s death from the brink of success by an un- conditions of a more ethical nature. from amphetamines and Ronicol in timely injury, who have a family to  e tennis world has been rocked 1960, and too ineff ective to save Tom feed and a contract to fulfi l, the re- by allegations that the outcomes of Simpson from dying on the slopes of ward will always overcome the risk. matches have been predetermined by Mont Ventoux from amphetamines Moreover, as doping controls become players paid to lose by betting syndi- and alcohol in 1967. more sophisticated, so stimulants be- cates. Even more worrying are the sug- Rather than disappearing from pro- come cheaper, easier to buy, and hard- gestions that the fi xing has infi ltrated fessional sport, doping simply went er to detect. even the highest level of the sport. One underground. Its ugly spectre still So what am I saying? Should we just ex-player this week claimed that the stalks sport today. In the 1980s the use admit doping will remain, indulge in results of certain ATP Masters events of steroids turned the world of athlet- fatalism, and give up what seems to have been infl uenced by illegal betting ics upside down when 1988 Olympic be forever a lost cause? Of course not syndicates from around the world. champion and world record holder (however much despairing existential- Several top players at the Australian Ben Johnson tested positive in Seoul. ism appeals to Cambridge students). Open have played down the scale of He later admitted to systematic ster- But what all sport must do is what the scandal. Andy Murray said that oid abuse stretching back to 1981. In any good therapist would immediately he had never heard of any such activ- the 1990s the spotlight turned once say to the alcoholic, the drug-addict, ity in the game, while Novak Djokovic again on cycling after the Festina aff air, the criminal; to tackle a problem, one stated that, while he had been ap- a French police seizure of cartloads of must fi rst admit that there is one. proached on one occasion early in his blood-boosters hoarded by the most It took cycling the best part of two career, there is “nothing happening popular cycling team in France. In the decades of slander and ridicule to at the top level”.  e Tennis Integrity wake of the Lance Armstrong crisis, crack down on the doping epidemic. Unit (TIU) also attempted to quash and that of the Russian athletics team, If the road to redemption seems, even the claims, stating that “ e TIU and cycling and athletics seem to be in now, rather a long and treacherous the tennis authorities absolutely re- constant competition in an attempt one, then at least the journey has start- ject any suggestion that evidence of to occupy the centre of sport’s chemi- ed. Cycling has the most drugs tests match-fi xing has been suppressed for cally induced dark side. per head, the most off -season testing any reason.” Nevertheless, in a sport  e questions asked in the 1980s of any sport, one of the most stringent where the outcome can be determined and 1990s don’t seem to have changed lists of banned articles, and a well-reg- by a careless double fault or a single either: how to prevent doping; how to ulated, organised, anti-doping body. errant shot, there are understandable treat former dopers; how to tackle the  e last few years have also seen a concerns that this could rock tennis’ history of a tarnished sport. So far, de- drastic reduction in international dop- very foundations. fi nitive answers are still conspicuous ing cases, while cycling has the only  e European Sports Security in their absence. IAAF President Lord Coe finds himself in the middle of a storm voluntary (additional) anti-doping Association declared that tennis was Arguments on whether to legal- organisation, the MPCC (Mouvement the sport most at risk from betting ise doping have diminished in recent they can be tested throughout the year, crusade, or will he relapse into being pour un Cyclisme Crédible), which manipulation, both because of the ease years; the focus has now shifted onto including at fi ve in the morning during a dark blot on the sport? Recently, two provides even harsher sanctions (in- with which one can lose a match, and providing lengthier bans. Two year an off -season holiday in the Bahamas. Italian cyclists tested positive for EPO cluding minimum four year bans). the sheer extent of betting options that bans are now the norm for cycling,  ree missed tests now constitutes a (erythropoietin). Matteo Rabottini, Now athletics too is starting to re- leading bookmakers off er. Punters can and in athletics second doping viola- major doping violation and the maxi- whose career had been gently sliding alise the extent of its doping problem. bet on anything from total games in tions will now guarantee bans exceed- mum fi rst-time ban of two years from into obscurity, recently told the La It is no longer a case of a few ‘bad ap- a match to the outcome of individual ing four years. Moral campaigns all competitions. Doping tests are Gazzetta dello Sport that, following ples’ or individual perpetrators; dop- points: an array of options that means against dopers, most notably against no longer centred on major sporting his positive test, his wife and children ing is institutional and endemic, and that a player could fi x only a handful Justin Gatlin during the latest World events, but spread to incorporate the had left him, he was near fi nancial it needs to be tackled as such. Doping of points and no-one would be any the Championships in Beijing, can hit en- lengthy months of training as well. ruin, and even his parents now refuse in Russia is just one hole in a sport wiser.  e allegations arose as a result dorsements and sponsorships. Yet however much eff ort is made, to talk to him.  e off ers of support riddled like Swiss cheese. Now is the of a leak of documents to the BBC and Lengthy bans are, however, almost no sport can ever be entirely free from and sympathy seemed only natural for time to wake up and smell the toast Buzzfeed that mainly discussed events never the answer. It certainly hasn’t the shadow of dopers. How is one to an athlete who was openly repenting burning, and to act across the sport. dating back to 2007, but one suspects hampered the recent proliferation of tackle repentant dopers? Just as in an inexcusable moment of reckless-  e road towards a cleaner sport will that this is a scandal that has the po- doping abuses in Russia.  e answer is real life, once a criminal has served ness which had destroyed his entire prove diffi cult, especially initially.  e tential to change the face of the sport far more likely to be found in increased his sentence, he is eligible to return life. Yet the same support was off ered skeletons will quickly come falling out for many years to come. Here’s hoping testing. Cyclists are now forced to re- and be reintroduced into society (or to Mauro Santambrogio, who was on of the closet. But it is a step which the that the issue will be resolved before port their movements to the World his sport). Will he become a leading the brink of suicide after receiving his sport must take. it descends into the mess which fi xing Anti-Doping Authorities (WADA) so fi gure for a concerted anti-doping ban. But having been brought back Continued on Page 31 made of cricket not too long ago.