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*4I V\ pg.6 : A.,• f $ . *y i% K' ttS Drawing Lots on Easter By Tim Connors I can change the world, with my own two of raspberry beret had anything to do with that last Currently I'm sitting on a brick patio, over- hands. I can make a better place, with my own two set of thoughts, yet what influence does environ- looking a cow pasture, and contemplating life's hands. We've got WXPN in Philly, which is where I ment have on people? inequities. Two years ago I was waltzing the flight got those lyrics. This is usually what I do when I Was that forty dollars worth watching three deck, and two weeks ago I listened to a pasty faced can't think of anything to write, just sort of a stream hours of pych experiment photos to test eye reaction twit lead a church group in a private home. Both of bullshit. It's not an effective writing style for times of schizophrenics who were white males of the were disturbing, and yet oddly I feel I had more of a essay tests, but hey, I'm not getting graded for this. age specified by the study protocol? Can truth be positive impact on the deck than in a church group. I missed yet another I-Con, so it goes. This measured with electrodes measuring the reactions to I'd love to give details, as freak shows are time I was a few hours away, and. This is about as pictures of pornography alternated randomly with amusing, but the small shred of decency (HA!). far as these articles can go before thought insertions those of bur victims, and non-event producing Anyway, about the title, I've decided to cast lots to start to interfere with alternative content that seems objects? see which religious institution I attend on Easter. foreign to me. What would Byron do? Or rather So you'll excuse me for not taking a fond Seems sort of fitting in a Roman soldier kind of way. what would Byron's Don Juan do? Just a little light view of "Shock and Awe"; yet having watched some I guess I should explain, since my mixed metaphors reading on the side. You know, to pass the time. of the coverage, all that's missing from it are the can get annoying. Putting life into a coherent message takes mangled bodies. Well at least on American public It's time the cows come home to roost. effort since, as a neuropsychological evaluation TV. But there is the appeal of the attractive talking That's a mixed metaphor; I guess casting lots to see reported, this writer "has an unconventional view of heads. The only differences this time around were whose portrayal of the remnants of Jesus' life life, which makes conflict with others somewhat that I wasn't wired with electrodes and that I didn't embodied in various church's celebration of his inevitable." To think, I paid someone to tell me I get a pittance for my time. death is flat out blasphemy. But it strikes me as odd don't play well with others. There's a line of thought that this war is jus- that these churches casting lots to see who is saved I hope "Funky Friday" starts soon; it's a tified in that we are our brother's keepers and that or not like Roman soldiers divvying up the death local radio show. What, just because most the Christian thing to do would be to ease the Iraqi's booty. Or are God and Satan casting soul lots? Oh, Americans sit glue in front of cable TV doesn't mean suffering. Should we sell advertising and use it as a well. I have to? Granted I watched the opening couple of form of entertainment? Well it's just the way it is, And yet as I sit in that room in a week, I will days of the war. Last time I checked the constitution and I've seen way too many ads in my life. know that none of these people who consider them- was during legal reasoning in the spring of '99 The bible has some stories, and four of selves righteous, would think me righteous. Bush which I failed, twice. So maybe I shouldn't make them are about this guy whom makes a pact with says he's righteous, Nuh said. any comments about the scope of Presidential man as to the benefits of peace, love, obedience to So if my lot has been cast, does what I authority? God, and suggested a way to live that would be, by believe matter? I'm going to die, hopefully as a not This blatant disregard for proper paragraph his own account, rewarded with persecution. Some to bitter old fart, my biggest concern is to get transitions is, and has always been at the heart of the hold that life is suffering, so should there be suffer- through this thing without making a state sponsored "not playing well with others" issues that I have. So ing for a reason, or for the pursuit of vanity. trip to a criminally insane state hospital unit. I've am I a proud American. Maybe I'm just not partici- So the question is: if life is suffering, and met the people, they seem nice, but "you never pating properly, so Yeah for us or those damn elec- faith rewarded with persecution, is I-Con divine ret- know, do you?" Just a flash back to the locked unit tions stealing Nazis in the White House! ribution, or a most unlikely tool for Satan? What's of a regular hospital, funny the places where you can Should I go metaphysical and point out the the difference? Remember - the Indians coming over make friends. karmic damage that bunker busters create? Nope the hill had no idea you were watching Television. "Whitey D. to you, damn it!" was one of too obvious - just let the thought inserts write this. Or in English - You will die! The wages of sin are the people that I rather enjoyed meeting during my Does I Con have long-term karmic effects? Only in death, but as the comedian said, "it's really just a forty day stay at the Cadillac of mental health resorts the opposite way of Byron. Dharma: think TV show; tired feeling after taxes." So what did you spend the in Albany. I'd like to tell you who Whitey was, but Karma: think ABC war coverage. day doing, and how did you feel while you did it? his secret identity in the Mossad prohibits that, but I Being slow relative to others, yet excelling So you're probably thinking, how can you wanted to baptize him in keeping with some reli- at taking tests, makes for an interesting experiential write stuff like this and listen to Zevon? I'm not; gious ideation that occurred to me in February of juxtaposition. Most people talk to me like I'm a com- rather I am listening to Springsteen. A comment or '96's stay at USB's doughnut track in the sky. plete moron; well mostly the morons do that, but two on music would be aDorooriate. Now the problem with Byron is still. Granted I failed much more than I've succeed- but what do I knoi the superficial mies- ed in school, life, love, or... well this was going it's a way to pass ise I'm too busy look- somewhere - damn thought insertions. spend all our time muendo. I've had Warren Zevon should help with that, noth- feet smelling the d >shared their cultural ing like Hindu Love Gods. Not that I've heard this Well, I'm e at Stony Brook. But CD before, but there's always a call for Lawyers, words short, but tl .f, well, it's like a pub- Guns, and Money. Just the line of bullshit that was way my life is goir ions clerk at promised; hey, we can't have false advertising now I can deal with it, wsday said to me can we? tried to submit tl er say never." This doesn't make linear sense, nor does have yet to master Is this really life. Even the Good Book lays that out. Should we art of attaching file o I am? A dangerous, all take a Biblical perspective on life? Well, anything e-mails. So now tely, unemployable, that's got that many parables can't be all bad. So past deadline - Icoholic, intelligent, shove me in the shallow water before I get to deep. arbitrary line w' tubborn, prudish, Art's name, anyone? Just a random thought, not prisoners are sho chizoaffective? Yeah. really inserted. crossing. ,Learne What is Truth? Definitely Roman's perspec- from WXPN, they tive versus a Prince's. Not that the Zevon rendition vocabulary. ---- m II--- I · ~·-I ·--- --· ~---3~A~ P·l - lls-pq- L-pgsl II u Wanna Know Where You an Stick Your Opinions? 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- - Progress:- ~e Antithesis and Aienation- - By Joel Frederic Hopkins On display in the Melville Library our memories reshape themselves, recontextual- lation Progress was the pulsing of light produced Graduate Gallery for most of the month of March ize themselves as the events become more dis- by another one of Kitchen's self-constructed was an installation, titled Progress, by Dan tant. Photographs always serve as proof that machines. Built from a broken-down house fan, Kitchen. A second-year MFA student in the such an event actually happened. The figures the pulsing of light allowed the viewer to see not Department of Art, Kitchen primarily explored burned into the paper never age, move, or decon- only the bizarre collections of machines testing the complexities of memory in visual representa- textualize themselves, which is our responsibili- the durability of individual photographs, but tion, viz. the photograph. He also demonstrated ty. Each one of these machines puts a separate also their own image being impressed upon the an affinity to the role of kinetics in modern sculp- photograph through an arduous experience to walls of the Graduate Gallery. This act is taken ture, an affinity highlighted by his exquisite han- test their strength. One set of machines causes directly from Pliny's tale about the lover tracing dling of simple mechanics. Though a certain several photographs to dip in ard out of solu- her beloved's shadow on the wall before he left didacticism pervades most of Dan Kitchen's tions of water and bleach. Just one of these on an extended journey. The image of the shad- work, this show, his first solo show at Stony machines has no photograph; in its place is a ow indicates that photography is not just anoth- Brook, indicates that while Kitchen is drawing medallion of St. Christopher, the saint who car- er invention of the modern age, but the out- from definite sources of literary influence he still ried the massive weight of the Christ child across growth of the ancient need to preserve the image nourishes a serious visual aesthetic, and any a river. St. Christopher is a fitting symbol for he for the benefit of our memory. However, Dan viewer can realize the profoundness of his work is both the patron saint of travelers, connoting Kitchen's work seems to disconcert the viewer, to him. the fleeting security of our memories, and of load illustrating a need to worry rather than simply Two mainly literary sources have influ- bearers, connoting the weight of our memories visually explaining the work of recent art criti- enced Kitchen in the past and play a particular that photographs "bear." The solutions slowly cism. Light is persistently flashing, machines are role in influencing Progress. One is Tangled disintegrate the photographs and thus rob the grinding, a hammer is pounding, and the hygien- Memories by Marita Sturken, and the other is holder of any security in withholding the memo- ic stench of bleach is slowly filling the space. Burning Desire by Geoffrey Batchens. Sturken ry "as it was." Perhaps before the viewer even The viewer is being shaken by Kitchen, the searches for the underlying logic of how photo- noticed the four machines dunking the photo- machines, acting as the means to change, are graphs serve as anchors for our memory, and graphs and medallion, they more than likely decomposing their existence. It should be the Batchens points out that it is not so important to turned to the machine slowly pounding a small awful responsibility of time that causes our own decide who "invented" photography; rather, he Polaroid. Similar in design to the "dunking" memories to do this, but at least we have the looks at why so many individuals were working machines, the "pounding" machine rotated a comfort of knowing they only recontextulaize with photographic processes at the same point in wheel that caused a hammer to rise in an antici- around a constant, the photograph. Dan's alien- history. Neither works necessarily address fine patorily monotonous fashion and then crash ating grind of kinetic extinction almost scoffs at art photography as much as they explore the down. In comparison to the photographs disin- *this security, and the antithesis of recontextual- photography as an intimate phenomenon of man. tegrating in water, the photograph under the ization, the definite and inescapable, in this case Through a series of machines, all built by hammer seems undamaged and thus proves that the inevitability of decay, is presented to the the artist from crude motors, wood and paint, the photograph's power does not come from its viewer in one stark blow. Kitchen tests Sturken's notion of the photograph rigidity. as a secure anchor for our memories. Constantly Throughout the experience of the instal- Page 3 Executive Edi Editorial: Student Activity Fee Daniel Hofer Starting March 28th and extending 'til possible. When you think of it that way, $86.50 Mismanaging Editor May 3rd, Stony Brook students will be able to looks like a bargain, doesn't it? Dustin Herlich log on to the SOLAR system and vote on Without the SAF, these programs wouldn't just whether or not they would like to keep paying be struggling, or forced to cut back program- Associate Editor Michael Prazak the currently mandatory Student Activity Fee ming. They would be gone, and this school, in (SAF). This year, the fee was $86.50 a semester 'terms of campus life, would be nothing more Business Manager for full-time students, and $7.50 a credit for than a community college. After the efforts of Diana Post part-time students. so many people - students and faculty alike - to News Editor It's human nature to want that money bring great events to Stony Brook, it would be a Joe Filippazzo back in your pocket. But the SAF is, quite sim- real shame for that to happen. ply, the food without which all organizations We also know that there has been some Ass. News Editor and events on this campus would drop dead. It controversy this year over the SAF's distribu- Jackie Hayes is the financial source that enables things like tion, what with Polity's decertification, the Features Editor the Roth Regatta, Black Women's Weekend, the administration taking control of the SAF, and so Joe Hughes Shirley Strum Kenny Arts Festival, USB Week, on. But Polity is dead, and while we are very and the Strawberry Festival, as well as Friday's wary of the new student government, they Arts Editor upcoming Get Up Kids concert. It supports couldn't possibly do a worse job than the previ- Sam Goldman organizations like NYPIRG, LGBTA, Hillel, and ous student government (we hope). Besides, Photo Editor SBU TV, as well as the Crew, Rugby, and Ice eliminating the SAF altogether is the wrong Ceci Norman Hockey teams. It allows organizations like solution; it's killing an ant with an AK47. Blackworld, Shelanu, En Accion, and, yes, the We urge you to vote YES for the Student koppi edetur Press, to continue publishing. It provides the Activity Fee. Keep student life at Stony Brook Andrew Penick money for your building's LEG. And that's not in business. It's worth the money. Production Mngr. close to a complete list of things the SAF makes Adam Schlagman Webmaster E ar r-0 Rich Drummond Editorial- Easter, when corpo- Ombudsman rations aet,, I to rise from the araverl JaIPH IlassnX Easter. To Christians, the day when excUse to sell candy and toys that no one would Jesus rose from the grave and various miracles ever buy at any other time of the year (except ensued. Well, nowadays, all that seems to Cadbury eggs, those are amazing)? ensue is little children screaming about the Commercialization of a holiday, any holiday, in [ason Amoroso, Jeff Blanch, Bev Bryan, Tim Connors, Mike Fabbri, Aaron color of badly painted egg they receive. any religion, has become a pretty sad fact. Yes, Feingold, Chris Genarri, Rob Gilheany, A brief history of Easter: of course, there are those who celebrate Bill Gioconda, Glenn "Squirrel" Given, Christmas and Easter and all that for the fun, Pam Gradowitz, Emily Gustafson, Originally, Easter was celebrated like Adam Keamey, Gregory Knopp, every other holiday, on a day of the week which the family and everything else less religious, Brian Libfeld, Jamie Mignone, Walter changed yearly. One day, an emperor named but what about the people who drag their fam- Moss, Ejima Oyibo, Scott Perl, Derrick Prince, Ana Maria Ramirez, Brian Constantine decided that was not good enough ilies to church, then run out so they can hit up "Scoop" Schneider, Ralph Sevush, for him, so he fixed the date to be a Sunday the "after Easter sales" before all the good stuff Chris Sorochin, Amberly Timperio, Doug Williams, Jon Vaillancourt, Nina around this time. Not only was this more con- is gone? Zakharenko venient, but those pesky pagans has a holiday America is one of the few places where almost exactly around the same time as what no holiday is too sacred to take advantage of. The Stony Brook Press is published fortnight- we call Easter now, called Eostre. Eostre was What do people know from Martin Luther King ly during the academic year and twice dur- ing the summer intersession by The Stony the goddess of spring, and this was the holiday any more? They know it's a good day to be off Brook Press, a student run and student fund- for honoring her. To help persuade Pagans to of school and go buy a cheap DVD player. Not ed non-profit organization. The opinions expressed in letters, articles and viewpoints convert, the holiday of Easter was formed. It every holiday should be a completely somber do not necessarily reflect those of The Stony maybe there should be Brook Press. Advertising policy does not nec- included all of the rituals the pagans had and experience, but just essarily reflect editorial policy. For more the resurrection of Jesus added on to it. Just something deeper to an event like the resurrec- information on advertising and deadlines call (631)632-6451. Staff meetings are held remember that next time you roll an egg tion of your deity of choice than the types of Wednesdays at 1:00 pm. First copy free. For around, you're really partaking in a pagan ritu- candy you can buy. Even to the atheist, can't additional copies contact the Business Manager. al to honor a goddess. you look at it as a good time to see all your fam- All that being said, Easter (or Eostre or ily and friends since you all have off of work? The Stony Brook Press Suites 060 & 061 whatever else you want to call it) really has lost Maybe holidays were meant tp be exploited, Student Union significant meaning to people. This is sup- but maybe if we paid attention to the reasons SUNY at Stony Brook we had a holiday, and why it's important, we'd Stony Brook, NY 11794-3200 posed to be a pious holiday when the end of (631) 632-6451 Voice lent occurs, and your soul is symbolically res- all be better off. (631) 632-4137 Fax urrected, no? Why has Easter become a good e-mail: [email protected] www.stonybrookpress.org Page 4 THEURUUKThl'dSTONY F'rstlllacelo Plae: Edi'toriaFatur

- Letter: Solvino---- the UnivercArl II ~--rl Hiding the Truth of student and facuilty to invite this man on cam- E=mc2 is commonly known as the relativity pus and the administration specifically the Provost equatio, or the formula that brought us the Atomic of this University has turned down such a propos- age (or the creation of the atomic bomb), and it is al. It is sad that such an accoplishment should go also well known that the creator of such a revolu- unreported on such a progressive, academically tion was called Albert Einstien a man whose is challenging and though provoking school due to hailed for making the impossible, possible. Since the fact that certain people in this University pre- that point Prof. Albert Einstein has been awarded fer to hide the truth and keep it under the rug. It and appreciated for his, by some accounts, "impos- should be clear that such a heinious misdeed sible" accomplishment. However the man who cre- should not go unheard of and continue to be kept ated the Unified Field Theorem, the theory that down we should fight for what the students and expains where Prof. Albert Einstein formula is faculty wants to happen on this campus which is a derived from remains ignored by the puplic, pri- presentation by Professor Oyibo. In order for you vate and now the People the run this University. to help tell somebody about whats going on here This man whose name is Professor Oyibo has been spread the word on campus that your voice will be able to use Einstein's formula and work, and take heard you opinions will not be silenced and the it to the next level by Unifiying not just enery and truth will be told. mass like in Einstein's equation but all of the forces around us.Recently on this campus there has been -Joe Mantego a request by over one thousand written signatures _ 1. _._.~ _------~. Letter: The NY Press Blows Y'all think you can rip our name and get away with it? Expect a letter from our lawyers soon. The settlement's gonna make Are you agay, lesbian, or bisexual your little tuition hike look like bent pennies.

person age 18-25? Yours. Astudy of hassles related to sexual orientation is Alex Zaitchik Associate Editor currently being conducted by researchers at New York Press SUNY Stony Brook. Wk ypartiCpaft? st studies donot repmesent the divesi that exits among ga, lesbian, bisexal, queer and questioningpeople This means thtIwhatisocieo and science understandabout you may not be accurate Helpfacilitate better understanding To, Itwe ificnWo Amtisasii0f O r psIiyl nta{

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I have dreamt of gardens in the gushing blood from his body desert sand. coloredmy once white feathers I spent my tender feather hood with redness of the setting Sun. near the skyscrapers of New I cried. York. I too was dying. I was afraid of heights. I feel that the "me" that was por- I would always stay close to the trayed ground. as the symbol of peace by Picasso I spent my time in the presence of is dying. kindhearted old people, I am no more the innocent bird, who would graciously throw that would wait and pick up the nuts for me. nuts. It was accidental that I got Now I have to hunt my own shipped to the mountainous ter- food. rains of Iraq. I sharpened My gentle nails and A tense soldier was surprised to made them claws. see me in a box, I tore the flesh of sparrows and that was supposed to carry provi- rodents. sions for the soldiers. I ate flesh ... something I imag- He must have been confused, ined would never happen to me. possibly annoyed too. I have become a hawk in the hills Maybe he felt happy to see a of Iraq. symbol of peace. I no more dwell in lowly heights. Irrespective of his feelings, I felt I dwell at great heights in the hills relieved. like the great predators of the sky. For me all that mattered was Picasso would have seen an eagle whether I could get myself freed in me, had he lived long enough. from that basket that caged me I have seen blood. and had nothing to offer other I have seen children get separat- than darkness. ed from their parents. I have seen what a dove was not Dirty Feathers supposed to see. by Perumal Ramasamy Nowadays as I soar high to the skies to hunt I The soldier who freed me became ...there is a part of me that seems my master. to cling to an idea I loved him as he had given me And I wish that my whole self my freedom. will embrace it, May be freedom in Iraq begins or at least I can hold to it for a with me. long time. He even named me "Harry." I wish that it will rain heavily in Sometimes in the deep desert, I this desert, was his closest companion. And the pure white color of my He would shoot at his targets and feathers I would stand stunned close to now smoked with gun powder him. and stained with red blood will I have gun powder sprinkled all resurface. over my body. Some day a child will cry" look ... The smell of death and war has there is a dove in an eagle's made me senseless place." to the fragrance of the desert rose. I am dead for Picasso. One day, I watched my master I am living for my feathers. verrczcow..oQ•O / cec-'; \norv\oL• die.

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Adom :latio s Six minutes and tweni -or six minutes and tv )nds, [ stared into her eyes Taken aback from the 4il breathing ceased t What started out as a Turned into somethinc Yet I cannot recall.

Speaking to each othe Without the use of wc Smiles lurked upon ot No other sounds to b< Eyes locked upon each other, Tighter than tight, And it went on that way, Even as we felt darkn

This was my time, To focus all my attent On the magic in her ( bringing me into anot With their mysterious I chose to look on, Just wishing for anott So I can prolong my And capture the beaL That even she knew i 1 _ $10K Cash Bonanza. - r and the Mob

Continued from last page ests of the students as well as specific cultural, References: Reference 1: journalism that Statesman once had, go to ethnic, or religious interests. These are usually http://www.guidestar.org Click on "Search for Newsday.com, click on archives, do an advanced funded by student activity fee money, and more than 850,000 IRS-recognized nonprofits" search in years 1995-6 using the terms Polity include but are not limited to the Stony Brook and in the "nonprofit name" box enter Stony Brook. If you want to read the "hard Press, Blackworld, En Accion, Shelanu, and GSO "Statesman" click on link to the data on news" once published by The Stony Brook Press, News and Blues. Each publication presumably Statesman Association, Inc. under "Contents" on go back only a very few years into the Press's spends only those funds that they need in order the left hand side of the screen click "Form 990" archives in the basement of the Union, and read to publish at whatever level of activity they can Reference 2: Student Paper Archives the articles written by Steven Preston. If you support based on the number of writers and arti- Allegedly available on the media wing in the want to discover how well or how poorly Stony cles available. basement of the Student Union. Brook University's student publications compare Any funds budgeted but not spent by Reference 3: The Villiage Voice with those of other colleges and universities, student activity fee funded organizations are http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0252/rob visit the Student Press Law Center at usually either rolled over or reallocated to other bins.php http:/ /www.splc.org and click on News Flashes. clubs. There may be one exception to this rule - Reference 4: See On this campus we have some fine Stony Brook Statesman - and there are some http://www.usdoj.gov/civilliberties.htm, media publications that serve the general inter- unanswered questions about why this may be. http:// www.thefireguides.org The Inter- Fraternit Sorority Council Proudy Presents:. 31 Organizations 6 Days 0 Alliances

ARW•ALL. WMP WaiCOF F..N-*-*. Iflql~t airMlI*a 2 Subivotrs •k ?1.1! ".iP wow

Monday, April 21: Ph3 Chi Epslion Beauy Pagent SAC Ballroom B, 8pm Tuesday, April 22: Game Showi Nigjht SAC 3rd Floor spm WAednesday, Aprl 23: Talent Show SAC Auditorum, 7pmi Thursday, April 24: Luau, SAC Plaza, 5pm Friday, April 25: Basketball Tournament Pritchar Gym,5pm Saturday, April 26: Picnic

- Fib.ArStortsIUmra lqo.dw won.I . Comolext-~i -Fieldis,- - - lam - Page 7 CD Reviews

The songs are catchy as all hell, especially "Devil in Jersey City" and "Delirium Trigger" (the two mp3s available on their web page) but nowhere near banal enough to ever get airtime out- side of college radio stations. "Delirium Trigger" takes a page from David Bowie's "Space Oddity" and sketches something richer and more disturbing on the blank side. You could probably get away with calling them emo or emo-core or someotherhyphencore.

rock Dana, will get you ott your teet ana jum, nrg to recoras, rigntt the music. The last thing you'll notice is that when v e Coheed and Cambria - Second Stage Turbine Blade CD is over, the silence in the room is almost palpa- By Beverly Bryan ble. The Raveonettes' wall of sound has been bro- Most of the songs on Coheed and sounds, warm "lo-fi" background noise. The intro ken. But for twenty glorious minutes, you could Cambria's first album "Second Stage Turbine on a couple tracks is this distorted tinkly piano- feel the B-movie creatures in the room with you, Blade" set out with chord progressions as shim- like a children's toy being played with in an empty crawling up your spine. iering and spacious as a new dawn, drums like basement or a very old recording. It's not right the excited heartbeat of a teenager in love and lots how easily it creates the feeling of displacement The Ataris download card of crashing cymbals. Then the vocals kick in and and nostalgia that it does. The album ends with a By Sam Goldman you realize it's going to be another strange, plain- brooding piano outro followed by a hidden track So Sony gives us a card telling us to go tive trip. The emotional 'space created is that of that features science-fiction computer samples and ing on a promohto- the only finger picking in the whole oeuvre. It's a cold, desolate possibly the most defeating of them all. Sweet and 2, lucky only to be soaring as the album is, the last time I listened to it, of the bitter old I had to put on Bright Eyes afterwards to cheer up. 1 you've left Coheed and Cambria have been around d. In real life that for a couple of years and this, their first album, was s for a kind of sick released on the Equal Vision label in March of last g in the pit of your year. Accoiding to a posting on their message ach - musically, it board, they are working on another album for a ates into grandeur. possible fall release. They are slated to play bright guitars and Randall's Island with the Warped Tour in August. tless drums keep tisic from leaching rotonin from one's SA little shimmer- synth gives the a a period feel. Guitarist and singer Claudio lez writes the ;. His eerie, ringing is the most arrest- ling about Coheed .ambria. Childlike androgynous, it lements the enig- lyrics. They tell a part tragic coming e novel part space i. Trying to deci- CD. This, their second release, is very similar to the lyrics can be their first CD, yet not quite as good. The first song nraveling a bizarre "Show Me" showed great promise with a good beat of violence and and nice vocals by Joey Z. Another good song is yal through the "Coming Home." It's softer then the other songs, s of a stunningly but is very well done. The good thing about inative but slightly is that you can understand them, not of touch middle like a lot of rock groups where they are always ler. Coheed and screaming and their lyrics aren't being heard. I do bria are avowed have to say that the lyrics are well written and that : geeks and rumors Stereomud is a talented band. late that the album All in all though, this CD is not up to par and story is also with their first CD. So you should go to the store >f a comic book that and purchase their first CD and only buy this one if or may not be in the you are a diehard fan. uer Kommisar Vol. I Issue 2: Tashem by Phil "Slim Gatsb" Piitne ,rthat encounter with Anthrax Man, we never saw him again. We resumed our daily lives, going to school the following Monday at Tashem High School, returning to the usual meeting place, full of the usual entourage of posers, preps, punks, and goths... ,. _,_ - - I _ 1 know...we come here every morning.., surrounded by.the somer /hy am I orons...and wh, ..... ien here :5~...... Y....i...... Ilfv^^ ::~ i~c~.·~----··~:..:.:;:2;·e"exxxx...... e.:S·: ~...... I hate 'eem

I like his outlook... I I · I mm can't go out and hat? fight crime, I have a project for biotech . that's due tomorrow i- thanks and I still need ilt at's fine. Sto get some I made plans to weln, hang out with barrian very 28r 0%,^-AAA tonight, anyway. • IrfV4B -.. .VP Who is Darrian? Who is Bill Emos, and WHY does he smell like soup? Where are the token, politically-correct African-American and female characters? Unfertilized eggs? Wh tick? The answer to all of these questions, abstract thoughts on cloning, and more murder and Heh.. mayhem in Issue #3: Enter: The Blue Dragon, bJitch. Meanwhile, more Der Kommisar is online at www.bobanett.tk! This one goes out to all those at the Press, for finally letting these guys see print, and< rise to their destiny: .\c`C,,f:, 3 0* .- Ix', - 1 .. 1. - __'.- . 1-1

RTH WORLD. COMICS Rte. 111l Hilside Village Shoppg Center Smithtown, NY 11787 (631) 36.444 S10% Discout With Valid Student ID Open every day Mon.- Sat. lO-9 Sun. 106 Call For Directions Al Major Credit Cards Accepted ref•eredCheckng

@198 Marvel OCigsp • I Page 8 of the P, attle entu n

Getting Things Baby Eating Punched in the Face i Worse Than SARS

- -- Waiting for President Bush to 9I ---complete ------a- sentence---- SARS: The TV Movie (starring ilenn "Squirrel" Given as SARS)

Every time there's a global pandemic, that fucking Soutbreak monkey cashes a royalty check that could put you through Harvard.

SSpending $90B on death when SARS gives it out for free

SLosing your dignity and honor by Sweaseling out of a paintball game - Stony-I Brook Does Want You to Die- By Jen Looi As I was heading down the stairs to exit lawyer and sue Stony for all its worth. It would be there was a nail in that tile? I may have not been Roth dining hall, I was stopped in my tracks by a nice if they paid for my education. able to write about this! I know they want to thud. Looking around to see what and who hit The next day, I w nt to rlass and pa"n was silence me. me, I saw a huge chunk of ceiling tile inches away traveling throughout my entire head. I was freak- During Spring Break, I speak with Mr. from my feet and then looked up to see a huge ing out so I went to the University Hospital to get Meyer, Assistant Vice President for Presidential hole in the ceiling. I had a tile fall on me, shatter- checked out. I headed to triage and wait to be Initiatives and Deputy to the President. Whew. ing upon impact to my head and shoulder. I was seen. The Physician's Assistant said I had a minor How long can that title get? Anyway, I explained in shock, thinking "W.T.F.", and I think the girl contusion. I was there for a good hour or so. My the incident and my visits to the infirmary and behind me was thinking the same thing. I walked room was right across the Intensive Care Unit - no hospital. I asked if I'd be responsible for paying out in disbelief. No pain...YET. When I got back to wonder no one was tending to me! The doc took the hospital bill if my co-payment didn't cover it. my room, I decided to give Shirley Strum Kenny a my vitals, told me that I was highly aware of any He actually said that he would help me get it piece of my mind; yet another failure of BASIC pain in my head since the accident and that it waived if that was the case. student services. Is safety too much to ask? I could be anything. I left to pay my bill. The day I got back from Spring Break, I called her up and got a secretary, who gave me her A week later I emailed the President received a letter from the President thanking me email. No response yet. I missed AMS to get again. Shirley's too good to respond to the stu- for bringing the situation to her attention and that checked out by theinfirmary. Ok so far. My hat dents she serves. She's made it so easy to see why she had people looking into the matter. I went and the fact that the tile wasn't heavy saved me. she is loathed throughout the campus. Days later, back to Roth to check for the hole in the ceiling While filling out forms, I found a piece of the tile I get a response on BEHALF of the President ask- and it was actually fixed. lodged on by backpack - it was wet. The ceiling ing me to discuss the matter. I guess it takes some MORAL: If something sucks, COM- had extensive water damage and it basically fell scare tactics to get them to take me seriously. I am PLAIN to the right people. HOLD them responsi- apart on me! They should have put up netting to not so concerned with going to court, only that ble if they are at fault. catch falling debris if they couldn't fix it right they address the problem and not have anyone away. Many of my friends urged me to get a good killed because of negligence. My God, what if Ask Amberly Jane A Column by Amberlv lane Death Egg Zone

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