Forever Young?

See Story HEAT Weekend New Year’s See Story on page 4 Resolutions on page 10 A Kiss Is More Than Just a Kiss January 5, 2004 Volume 5, Number 1 See story on page Q2 Forever Young? Bergling Explores Love-Hate Relationship Between Older and Younger Gay Guys By Phil LaPadula A more typical story is his experience in He just said, ‘How old?’ as if that was going Managing Editor an Internet chat room a few years ago. “I to be the entire parameter of our online At age 43, Tim Bergling may be “reeling remember a guy who came into a chat room, contact—and at 36, I was already too far gone in the years,” but he’s still reeling in the cute and he had one of those interesting-sounding for him.” young guys. In fact, he just came out of a 13- screen names,” Bergling recalls. “I said, ‘Hey, The brief cyber encounter sparked his month relationship with a very mature 19- what’s up?’ There was a bit of a pause, and long-time interest in writing a book on gay year-old whom he met online. then he said, ‘How old?’ men and age. The bulk of his research for the It’s easy to see why Bergling, an ex- “I said, ‘36.’ book came from a survey and poll on his Marine who still appears in boot-camp shape, There was a little bit of a longer pause, Web site, www.reelingyears.com. About would attract some of the younger set. But and then he said, ‘Too old. Bye.’ 2,000 people answered the poll questions, the author of the newly released Reeling in “It really surprised me that someone and about 350 participated in the survey. He Tim Bergling, author of Reeling in the the Years: Gay Men’s Perspectives on Age wouldn’t care if I was a good guy, if I was also conducted live interviews, including Years: Gay Men’s Perspectives on Age and and Ageism believes that such relationships rich, if I beat up on my boyfriend, or even ask interviews with sociologists and Ageism, speaking at Stonewall Library Dec. 14 are rarer in the gay community than in years the old staple online questions like ‘how psychologists. past. hung, what are you packing, top or bottom?’ “I started delving into it and found all kinds of eddies and ripples under ageism— older guys who don’t want to have anything to do with younger guys, the plight of underage gay kids, gay seniors,” Bergling A Gift that Makes a Difference says. “I found people who were already out at 15, and some who already had a jaded view Tuesday’s Angels Presents $10,000 Grant to Broward House of gay life at 16.” By Andy Zeffer His survey question on how young Features Editor people were when they first had sex produced The holidays were made a lot better at a surprising result: “It’s actually the 60 and Broward House due to the generosity of over group who had sex at a younger age,” Tuesday’s Angels. The group presented a he says. “They didn’t consider it gay sex at check for $10,000 to Broward House, a the time; it was just two guys fooling around community-based nonprofit organization to make themselves feel good.” with multiple locations throughout Broward Bergling spoke and signed copies of his County. new book at Stonewall Library in Fort Broward House serves those living with Lauderdale on Dec. 14. Reeling in the Years and at risk for HIV and other health issues is the latest of his introspective studies of by providing services, including outreach/ gay life. While many gay authors tend to education, intervention, case management, focus on gay people’s struggle with a assisted living and substance abuse homophobic mainstream world, Bergling programs. The $10,000 presented to Broward prefers to look inward at the clashes, tensions House is the first half of $20,000 that and love-hate relationships of the gay Tuesday’s plans to give to the facility. community itself. His previous book, Tuesday’s Angels presents a check to directors of Broward House. Left to right: Sissyphobia, published in 2002, examined the “I am in awe of the work which is done Kathleen Cannon, Broward House director of client services; Keith L. Riddle, Broward by Tuesday’s Angels,” said Dr. Keith Riddle, House director of community relations; Robert Collier, secretary for Tuesday’s Angels; tensions between “butch” gays and director of community relations for Broward Michael Ross, vice president of Tuesday’s Angels; Chuck Nicholls, president of effeminate guys. House. “Through the grant that they have Tuesday’s Angels; Angelo Castillo, president & CEO of Broward House; Lou Ricci, public Reeling in the Years explores the full affairs director of Tuesday’s Angels; Steve Nolte, Broward House director of spectrum of age issues in the gay community, See BROWARD HOUSE on page 12 performance & contracts; Joanne Hendee, Broward House director of clinical services from May-December (or February-August) romances to ageism. “In the first couple of chapters, I delve mainly into the antipathy or Joe Grano Seeks to ‘Build on Stork’s Vision’ apathy that frequently exists between younger and older gay men—the hostility, Openly Gay Realtor Has Backing of Bill Rettinger in Bid for Mayor suspicion, mistrust that each group has about the other,” Bergling says. By Phil LaPadula For example, one interviewee, 22-year- Managing Editor old Josh, writes: “It seems that every time I Promising to “build on the vision that Jim Stork put in place,” go to a club it’s filled with ‘lurkers,’ old nasty local realtor Joe Grano announced his candidacy for mayor of Wilton men just trying to pick up boy toys.... Sugar Manors on Jan. 2. If elected, he would become the Island City’s daddies are something you should find on a third openly gay mayor. stick in a candy store, not on your stick in Grano has the backing of prominent gay political activist Bill bed. Ick!” Rettinger, who has agreed to serve as Grano’s campaign manager. Based on his research, Bergling thinks But Mayor Stork, who recently announced that he would not seek there is more ageism in the gay community re-election, has stated that he intends to support Vice Mayor Scott today than when he was younger. “In my Newton to succeed him. younger days, it really seemed like people of Grano has sold real estate in the South Florida market for 17 all ages mixed and mingled in the bars, and years and served three years in the U.S. Marine Corps. He has Joe Grano outside Wilton Manors City Hall See JOE GRANO on page 12 See TIM BERGLING on page 2 www.ExpressGayNews.com • January 5, 2004 1 January 5, 2004 Volume 5, Number 1 Issue 162 Managing Editor Phil LaPadula [email protected] Arts & Entertainment Editor Broward News Page 6 Mary Damiano [email protected] Features Editor Andy Zeffer [email protected] Bah Bumhug! EDITORIAL Sales and Marketing Manager Crowd Loses Their Pants at Cathode Ray for Benefit Party Kevin Hopper [email protected] Account Executives National News Page 1013 Craig Combs [email protected] Anthony Verrico Viacom Revives Plans [email protected] Daniel Wasinger [email protected] for Gay Cable Channel Classifieds Manager Ralph Lankford [email protected] National Sales Representatives Expressions Page 23 Rivendell Media 212.242.6863 Rosie’s Silence Publisher Unite Media LLC. Steven Guerrini, President Was Not Golden [email protected] BUSINESS O’Donnell Let Down the Gay Community and Should Apologize News & Features Jennifer Trovato • Paul Harris • Dan Aiello Business & Finance Business Profile Page 1020 Daniel M. Pye • Michael Wilke Syndicated Columnists Mike Alvear • Mubarak Dahir Paul Varnell • Deb Price • M.Signorile King of the Deal Timothy J. Critzer • John D. Siegfried Jennifer Vanasco • Marc Acito Health & Fitness Columnists Native Floridian Draws on Stephen Fallon Advice & Counseling Hometown Knowledge to Help Buyers Mark Rutherford Webmaster • Gary Hallock Network Administrator • Ray Johnston Contributing Photographers Steven Shires • Pompano Bill • Carole Fawcett TIM BERGLING from Front Page find an older gay guy anymore,” Bergling says. “First, Distribution Managers the older guys were given a certain amount of respect. there are more gay young men around, and, secondly, Charlie Braun • Glenn King • John Fugate But now it seems that this young group, if you’re not you’ve got the Internet. He can talk to other people his Graphic Artist • Henny Snow Office Administrator • Logan Kent young enough to be in their club, they don’t want own age. Unfortunately, it’s kind of like the blind leading anything to do with you. It seems like they have these the blind. You have someone who doesn’t know much CONTRIBUTORS invisible walls erected around them.” about life teaching what little he knows to someone who But he also devotes a whole chapter, titled “Bridging knows absolutely nothing.” The Express Gay News the Gap,” to relationships between older and younger gay Bergling’s research revealed that older men who seek Unite Media LLC. men. “It’s based on the idea that people can create out young men are often trying to experience something 1595 Northeast 26th St. Wilton Manors, Fl. 33305 friendships, partnerships and loving relationships despite, that was missing from their own youth. “I spoke with Phone: 954.568.1880 Fax: 954.568.5110 www.ExpressGayNews.com or even because of, 15 or 20-year gaps in their ages,” men who told me that when they were in high school Bergling says.

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