JANUARY 2021 I am responsible Volume 45, #1 when anyone, anywhere, reach- es out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there, and for that I am respon- sible.

life·line | \ ˈlīf-ˌlīn : 1. A rope or line used for life-saving, typically one thrown to rescue someone in difficulties in water. 2. A thing on which someone depends for a means of escape from a difficult situation. https://en.oxforddictionaries.com

tured recovery “Rock bottom” is one of group, you’ve likely heard those phrases most of us a distinction drawn be- heard long before we even tween low- and high-bottom considered getting sober. people. The tales of low- This term holds several dif- bottom alcoholics and ad- ferent connotations for dicts typically include har- each of us, but it’s not al- rowing prison accounts, ways clear precisely what hospital stays, and home- rock bottom is supposed to lessness. These people be. have often been at death’s For many of us, the image of rock bottom is that door several times, and probably fit a more stereo- of a homeless person begging for drinking money typical conception of rock bottom. outside a liquor store. We may also think of a person High bottoms, on the other hand, often have no dying from an opiate overdose or doing irreparable experience with these things. Instead, these are peo- damage to their internal organs. Chronic severe ill- ple who managed to hold down a job while drinking nesses like cirrhosis or hepatitis-C are, for many of and using, and generally did okay for themselves. us, linked with our conception of rock bottom. Each They may have been able to keep their substance of these mental images, of course, represents a abuse a secret from their families. Even when they worst-case scenario. We think that a person has to were under the influence, these people were often lose absolutely everything in life before they could able to continue functioning at work and in life – at possibly commit to a large, aggressive life change as least well enough to keep it from all falling to pieces. recovery. Young people are often lumped in with the latter For better or worse, however, rock bottom is a category, as well. Broadly speaking, young people much broader category than we might think. It also tend to lack consistent access to alcohol and hard has a much more important definition, for the pur- drugs. As such, the damage they suffer is generally poses of recovery. In recovery, rock bottom is often less than those who have been drinking or using for considered to be the point in a person’s life at which decades. While this isn’t always the case, of course, they’ve become genuinely willing to do the work substance abuse disorders do require time to effec- necessary for long-term sobriety. tively destroy your entire life. After all, it is a progres- LOW BOTTOM/HIGH BOTTOM - If you’ve been sive illness, and if we catch it early enough, we can in A.A. meetings or participated in any other struc- avoid years of pain and suffering. (continued on page 16)

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org Inside Step One: Admit the Problem Almost everyone has a problem with the word alcohol, and that limiting phrase, that tight focus on "powerless." It drives people nuts, and for good the substance, is critical. Here's the great para- reason. No one likes to think of themselves as dox. In order to gain power over our disease, we powerless or vulnerable. Some people actually have to admit our powerlessness over alcohol. take offense to the word, saying it's demeaning Sounds weird, doesn't it? Sounds like we're giving and oppressive. They even use the word up and falling into a bottomless pit. But that's not "powerless" as an excuse for not trying to work the the case. Steps at all. We have to change our focus. We can't fight But Step One doesn't say people are power- the addiction head on, if for no other reason than less. It doesn't say they can't take charge of their we've been doing that repeatedly without success. lives, or they don't have the ability to change; quite In order to break this pattern, we have to admit the opposite. What Step One does do is unlock a that we can't change what it does to us. It affects great paradox. The first Step, in its puzzling but our brain, our body, and our spirit; and there's no simple language, introduces us to a source of pow- sense in denying it. We're powerless over the ef- er we didn't know we could find. If you or some- fect that alcohol has on us. We're not going to get one you know is struggling with alcohol, Step One good at drinking, we're not going to get more ra- is the key that unlocks the jail cell. It's not what we tional about it. We're not going to get better at con- expect when we first encounter Twelve Step pro- trolling. We've tried it a hundred times already. If grams. In fact, for most of us it was maddening. we want to get a grip on our problem, we have to "I thought you were going to tell me how to stop admit we're powerless over drinking, that we have drinking? How does being powerless help me do a medical condition called alcoholism, and get to anything? This is stupid." work on remission. It's like admitting that we have I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard tooth decay, and we need to go to the dentist. It's that one. Working as a counselor for many years, just a fact, we're powerless over that fact, and now I've heard every form of resistance you can imag- we need to take action. ine, and then some. But as simple as the language Consider the star athlete who's just lost a big of the Step might game. She's crushed, over- seem, it calls for a whelmed, dejected. But closer examination. there's another big game In AA, the first half next week. How can she of the Step says: "We get over the loss? admitted we were Welcome to Step One. She powerless over alco- has to put the loss behind hol." It does not say her. The loss happened, we were powerless and she has to admit she's over our choices, over powerless to change that our life, or over our fact. Whatever she does, relationships with oth- she can't afford to bring er people. It says we that fact into her future. By were powerless over admitting she's powerless (continued on page 3) SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 2 (INSIDE STEP ONE - cont.) to change that loss, she re- and that there are real consequences which prove leases herself from its shackles and walks freely it's going to continue beating us—if we don't into her future, fully empowered to do things differ- change. ently, and not repeat the same mistakes. As long We can't afford to play the blame game and we as we try to control anything, we're bound to keep can't afford to make excuses. If we want to get bet- losing. Step One puts it succinctly: "We admitted ter, we have to get honest. It's not my parents' we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had fault, it's not my spouse's fault, it's not my boss's become unmanageable." The second phrase is im- fault; in fact, it's nobody's fault. I've got a medical portant: "our lives had become unmanageable." problem called alcoholism, a potentially fatal dis- Unmanageability is one of the ways we learn ease. But at the same time, I'm lucky, because this we have a problem. There are consequences to particular condition can be put in remission. It can't our disease that are driving us crazy (not to men- be cured, but it can be put in remission. Nothing tion other people). A businessman alcoholic may can be done about my problem until I admit I've got say, "I don't have a problem! I manage 250 people a problem. Change doesn't begin until I accept the and make a huge salary." But his wife is ready to fact that I can't control it, and that it's costing me divorce him, his kids don't respect him, and he's dearly. The other eleven steps will show me the just been arrested for a second drunk-driving way out of this mess, but none of them are mean- charge. The confusion arises from the fact ingful until I internalize Step One. The flip side of that everything isn't unmanageable. He may be the coin we call acceptance is something holding on to his job, but if he's honest with himself called surrender. We have to stop fighting the bat- (which he won't be, at first), he'll see that his addic- tle. There is a way to beat this thing, but, paradoxi- tion is making significant parts of his cally, it's not by fighting it head on. life unmanageable. The great paradox tells us that As stated in the Twelve Steps and Twelve we don't need to wrestle with those facts. We don't Traditions: "Step One showed us an amazing par- have to struggle with the problem and we don't adox: We found that we were totally unable to be have to try to change the consequences. The first rid of the alcohol obsession until we first admitted thing we have to do if we want to get better is that we were powerless over it." When we turn simply admit we have a problem. We have to ac- away from the problem and embrace the solution, cept the fact that the substance has whipped us, we've taken our first step into a new world. https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/articles/jay/inside-step-one A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go A scientist ice fishing. So he packs up his stuff and goes out onto the ice. He starts runs into an sawing a hole in the ice, and a loud AA meeting booming voice says, and exclaims, “YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER "We did it! We THAT ICE!” found a medi- The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice repeats, cal cure for alcoholism! “YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER All you have to do is take THE ICE.” this one pill daily and you The drunk looks up and says, are cured!" Slowly a hand “God? Is this God trying to warn me?” raises in the back and a The voice says “NO, man says, "What hap- I’M THE MANAGER pens if you take two?" OF THIS ICE RINK.” SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 3 What Does It Mean? ?

For reasons still obscure, two or three years. When of surrender in AA is now stressed. the program and the fel- my turn came to speak, I clear. It produces that lowship of AA could used his phase “cut down stopping by causing the The Twelve Steps urge cause a surrender, which to size,” as a text around individual to say, “I quit. I repeated inventories, not in turn would lead to a which to weave my re- give up on my head- just one, and the Twelfth period of no drinking. It marks. Before long, out of strong ways. I’ve learned Step is in itself a routine became ever more ap- the corner of my eye, I my lesson.” Very often for reminder that one must parent that in everyone’s became conscious of a the first time in that indi- work at preserving sobri- psyche there existed an disconcerting stare. it vidual’s adult career, he ety. Moreover, it is re- unconquerable ego which was coming from the pre- has encountered the nec- ferred to as Twelfth Step bitterly opposed any vious speaker. essary discipline that work-which is exactly thought of defeat. Until halts him in his headlong what it is. By that time, that ego was somehow It was perfectly clear: He pace. Actually, he is lucky the miracle is for the oth- reduced or rendered inef- was utterly amazed that to have within him the ca- er person. Dr. Harry M. Tiebout, he had said anything M.D., Akron InterGroup News, July, 2013 fective, no likelihood of pacity to surrender. It is Central Bulletin https://www.aacle.org/what-does-surrender-mean/ surrender could be antici- which made sense to a that which differentiates pated. psychiatrist. The incident him from the wild ani- Only You Can Decide showed that two people, mals. And this happens If you seem to be having AA, still very much in its one approaching the mat- because we can surren- trouble with your drinking, or infancy, was celebrating ter clinically and the other der and truly feel, “Thy if your drinking has reached a third or fourth anniver- relying on his own intui- will, not mine, be done.” the point where it worries you sary of one of the groups. tive report of what has a bit, you may be interested The speaker immediately happened to him, both Unfortunately, that ego in knowing something about Alcoholics Anonymous and preceding me told in de- came up with exactly the will return unless the indi- the A.A. program of recovery tail of the efforts of his same observation: the vidual learn to accept a from alcoholism. local groups-which con- need for ego reduction. It disciplined was of life, sisted of two men-to get is common knowledge which means the tenden- Consider your drinking care- him to dry up and be- that a return of the full- cy toward ego comeback, fully in the light of what you come its third member. fledged ego can happen is permanently checked. may learn from these pages. Determine, for yourself, at any time. This is not news to AA whether or not alcohol has After several months of members. They have truly become a problem for vain efforts on their part Years of sobriety are no learned that a single sur- you. And remember that you and repeated nose dives insurance against its re- render is not enough. Un- will always be most welcome on his, the speaker went surgence. No AA’s, re- der the wise leadership of to join the thousands of men on to say: “Finally, I got gardless of their veteran and women in A.A. who have the AA “founding fathers” put their drinking problems cut down to size and status, can ever relax the need for continued behind them and now lead have been sober ever their guard against a re- endeavor to maintain that “normal” lives of constructive, since,” a matter of some viving ego. The function miracle has been steadily day-by-day sobriety. https://www.aacle.org/what-is-aa/only-you-can-decide/ SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 4 pensive evening at the theater would be ruined! Positive proof that the good Dr. Silkworth rightly described the physical allergy. (p. The Big Book tells us that alcohol- sure to drink again. xxviii) ics drink because they are “restless, irritable and discontent- This episode took place during the So, I was powerless over alcohol ed.” (xxvi) Well, that wasn’t me! I 1950s when I still had sufficient both before and after my first even drank when everything was willpower to choose to go home drink, and though I have been so- hunky-dory. directly after ‘motel-time’ was an- ber for a fairly long time, if I imbibe nounced at the bar. However, that just one shot of whisky this even- I recall a time, back in the 1950s, was not to be the case as years ing, I may not be able to stop arriving home from a joyous visit passed. drinking for several days. My phys- with my lovely girlfriend at a near- ical allergy landed me in several The Big Book tells us that real al- by college and not having drank a drunk tanks, through twenty-eight coholics have a progressive physi- drop. I was as exuberantly happy years of inebriated living and lost cal condition (allergy) which de- that a young man might be! How- more jobs for not showing up than stroys their ability to control how ever, I became “boiled as an owl” I can remember. much they drink after they once that night before the bars closed. start. During the 1960s, I became However, that doesn’t amount to a Happy or otherwise, there was a an avid attender of Los Angeles hill of beans so long as I don’t take mental obsession that decided theater where they offer cocktails that first drink—and this won’t be when or if I would drink—the Big during intermission. necessary so long as I remain in a Book tells us: “Alcoholics have lost “fit spiritual condition.” (p. 85) I Yet, I had learned, through tor- choice in the matter of drink.” (p. trust God will keep me safe from turous experience, that if I drank 24). So long as that demon (I refer that drunken monkey so long as I just one of those tempting devils, I to is as a drunken monkey) re- live in accordance with the Twelve was doomed to think of little else mains active in my noggin, I am Steps. Bob S. till I got to the nearest bar. My ex- https://www.aacle.org/hope-after-step-one/

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 5 It’s a phrase heard in A.A. with some other categorization meetings around the world. But beyond simply “alcoholic,” lies where does it come from? Why within the Fellowship. Suggest- do we say it? And should we ed Rosemary P., “Isn’t it the keep doing so? Surely, identifi- responsibility of each of us to cation is an important concept keep our program intact, to in A.A. In fact, it could be con- pass it on to the newcomer as it sidered the keystone of the was given to us? Importantly, program’s entire philosophy: can we do this with Box 4-5-9, one alcoholic helping another. Spring 2012 3 ‘My name is… and I’m an alcoholic’ patient Yet, as a Fellowship with lots of explanation, tolerance toward suggestions, but no official differences — and more patient “rules,” must a person declare, cally as an alcoholic, and there dates back to meetings of explanation? I believe we can, as many do when introducing is nothing in A.A. Conference- A.A.’s forerunner, the Oxford through committed sponsor- themselves at meetings, that he approved literature indicating Group Movement, which had its ship, strong home groups and or she is an alcoholic? how members should introduce heyday in the early 1930s. Mrs. active service. That way, our themselves at A.A. meetings or Seiberling, a nonalcoholic who new members will learn how to In A.A.’s formative years, co- whether it is necessary to do so had sought spiritual help in the be a part of A.A., not a frag- founder Bill W. struggled with at all. Oxford Group meetings, was ment of it.” this question and often wrote the person who introduced Bill about the dilemma facing new- Yet, in today’s A.A. environ- W. to A.A.’s other cofounder, Others feel it is important to be comers as they grappled with ment, tense moments often Dr. Bob, who was then strug- honest and reflective of “who their disease, often for the first follow in meetings when people gling to deal with his drinking by they really are” in their introduc- time and often in a relatively don’t introduce themselves as attending Oxford Group meet- tions at meetings, while many “public” way at A.A. meetings. alcoholics or, conversely, overi- ings in Akron. feel it is important to separate dentify themselves with our issues and take them indi- Bill wrote convincingly about phrases like “I am a cross- At small meetings, the mem- vidually to the programs de- allowing the newcomer as addicted alcoholic,” or “I’m bers knew one another and signed to address them: Nar- much freedom as possible in chemically dependent.” didn’t need to identify them- cotics Anonymous for drug ad- deciding just how and when he selves. But in the large “public” diction; Overeaters Anonymous or she might identify as an alco- Many A.A. members feel this meetings, where there was for addiction to food, and so on. holic, noting in a 1946 essay second case is the more con- “witnessing” along the lines of And still others feel that it is written for the Grapevine, titled cerning, threatening our unity an A.A. talk today, personal less important how we identify “Who Is a Member of Alcoholics and singleness of purpose. identification became neces- ourselves, either as “addicts” or Anonymous?” — an article “When I say at an A.A. function sary. Chances are that some- “alcoholics,” and offer an intro- which later formed the founda- that ‘I’m a drug addict and an one at some time said, “I am an duction at meetings simply as tion of Tradition Three: “That is alcoholic’ or ‘I’m a cross- alcoholic,” but Mrs. Seiberling “a member of A.A.” why we judge the newcomer addicted alcoholic,’” wrote couldn’t be sure. Nor did she less and less. If alcohol is an Rosemary P., a past delegate remember that the phrase was Finding a balance among these uncontrollable problem to him from Pittsford, New York, in an used at early A.A. meetings in approaches is an ongoing exer- and he wishes to do something enduring article in the January Akron, before publication of the cise in humility, trust and ac- about it, that is enough for 1990 Grapevine, “I am telling Big Book. ceptance within the Fellowship, us…. Nowadays, in most you that I’m a special kind of as members seek to be inclu- groups, he doesn’t even have alky — my case of alcoholism One early New York A.A. does sive yet cognizant of the singu- to admit that he is an alcoholic. is different from yours! I add an recall hearing the expression, lar bonds of alcoholism that He can join A.A. on the mere extra dimension to my disease however, sometime after World keep us all connected. As ex- suspicion that he may be one, — one that, because of our War II, in 1945 or 1946; and it pressed in the Big Book, in the that he may already show the singleness of purpose, should is a matter of record that in Chapter “Into Action,” “We have fatal symptoms of our malady.” not be addressed at an A.A. 1947 a documentary film enti- entered the world of the Spirit. Bill clarified further, as referred meeting. I have just cut our tled “I Am an Alcoholic” was Our next function is to grow in to in the “Twelve Traditions common bond in half and, more produced by RKO Pathe, lend- understanding and effective- Illustrated” pamphlet in the sec- importantly, have diluted my ing further credence to the no- ness. This is not an overnight tion on Tradition Three: “Who own purpose for being there.” tion that the phrase was recog- matter. It should continue for determines whether or not new- nizable in recovery circles even our lifetime. Continue to watch comers qualify, whether they do So, where did this custom of then. for selfishness, dishonesty, want to stop drinking? Obvious- self-identification come from resentment, and fear. When ly nobody except the newcom- and how did it etch itself so Growing from there, it has now these crop up, we ask God at ers themselves; everybody else indelibly into the A.A. land- become an almost obligatory once to remove them. We dis- simply has to take their word for scape of the 21st century? Like part of the lexicon of recovery cuss them with someone imme- it. In fact, they don’t even have many things in A.A., nobody is and, with its various alterna- diately and make amends to say it aloud. And that’s fortu- really sure just where it came tives and self-revelatory permu- quickly if we have harmed any- nate for many of us who arrived from, and with only a few of the tations, a somewhat controver- one. Then we resolutely turn at A.A. with only a halfhearted Fellowship’s early-timers left, sial way of introducing oneself our thoughts to someone we desire to stay sober. We are not many are able to provide at meetings. can help. Love and tolerance of alive because the A.A. road plausible theories, leaving little others is our code.” stayed open to us.” more than speculation to go on. Today, there are many who feel However, according to an early that resolution of the conflict By Box 4-5-9 Spring 2012 friend of A.A., the late Henrietta they feel when members intro- Bill rarely, if ever, introduced https://www.aacle.org/my-name-is-and-im-an- himself from the podium specifi- Seiberling, the expression duce themselves as “addicts” or alcoholic/ SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 6 COMPLETELY HAVE CONSTITUTIONALLY HIS DECIDED HONEST DEVELOPING HONESTY DISCLOSE INCAPABLE EARNESTNESS LIVING EASIER NATURALLY EMOTIONAL NIL

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 7 SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 8 SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 9 AN UPDATE FROM THE CHAIR I want to remind everyone once again, that the SMIA will not change meeting in- formation unless it is submitted by GSR, SMIA Rep, the DCM for the respective county, or the Program Chair for the respective group or meeting.

As recently as last week, I had to change a group of meetings back to "Temporarily Closed" because the information I'd received about that meeting reopening was incorrect.

I suppose that is part of the responsibility of holding the web-master position for the SMIA, but any time a change is made, I have to update 4 separate plat- forms.

I have added an "I Agree" field to all group update forms with a decision box that the person submitting the information must select.

That will prompt them to enter their First Name and Last Initial, Phone Number, and E-Mail address. They are agreeing to be the point of contact should any questions arise about the information they have submitted.

This includes:

On-Line Meeting information - https://somdintergroup.org/ wwsearch.html#olmr New Group/Meeting Additions - https://somdintergroup.org/newsmia.html Current Group/Meeting Changes or Terminations - https:// somdintergroup.org/wwsearch.html#tempclose Temporary Closures - https://somdintergroup.org/wwsearch.html#tempclose Meeting Reopening - https://somdintergroup.org/wwsearch.html#reopen

I will not accept e-mails, text messages, or word-of-mouth notifications about the status of any meeting. I can literally go through any of the group maintenance forms in less than 5 minutes, so it doesn't seem to be a huge encumbrance.

Please pass this on to your District contacts.

Kind regards,

Bill L. Leftwich Chairman and Webmaster Southern Maryland Intergroup Association

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 10

MEETING STATUS!

INDOORS OUTDOORS CLOSED UFN MASKS/ DISTANCING/TEMPS REQUIRED. REMEMBER TO BRING A CHAIR STAY TUNED Beginner At Noon: Only ten Battled & Rattled: meeting *Kingston Creek CLOSED people per room: Mon. & Fri. at location regular time normal time and place. Lexington Park Big Book Basic Text: Regular time CLOSED Cove Point: Wednesday & Fri- and day at Immaculate Con- day, regular times. ception Church. Lexington Park Living So- ber Meeting CLOSED Early Bird: New Location - Blue Top Improv: John 46707 Shangri La. Dr. Lexington Park. Inside or out depending Lancaster Park 21550 Wil- Gents, Ladies & Dames on the weather, regular time and lows Rd. Lexington Park (GLAD) CLOSED day. Every day. 12 noon & 5:30pm *Almost Normal CLOSED Hollywood: Open inside, mask required and distancing required. Daily Reflections: (Lusby) *Early Risers CLOSED Calvert Marina 14485 Dow- KISS: Masks and distancing re- ell Rd. Dowell Md. 20629 *Emotional Sobriety Wom- quired. under the pavilion regular en’s CLOSED time and day. Laurel Grove: Tuesdays Christ Brown Bag CLOSED Church, Chaptico, Saturdays Dorsey Park: Tuesday (BB) regular meeting place. Masks Thursday (OD) 5:00pm. Clean Air CLOSED and distancing required. Regular times. 24275 Hollywood Rd. Leonardtown, Md. 20650 Charlotte Hall CLOSED Leonardtown: Maximum attend- Drunks ‘R’ Us CLOSED ance limited to nine people. Happy Destiny: Regular place out back by the fire pit, Monday Night Traditions *ODAAT Women’s: Same loca- regular time and day tion, time and day. Masks and (bonfire). CLOSED distancing required. Last Call: Regular place, Not Quite Right CLOSED *Solomons: Masks and distanc- time, and day. ing required; regular location Patuxent River CLOSED time and day. Lusby Big Book: Calvert Marina Location 14485 Dow- *Poplar Hill CLOSED Saturday Evening Serenity: ell Rd. Dowell Md. 20629 Masks and distancing required; under the Pavilion regular Rocky Roads CLOSED regular time and day. time and day. Saint Mary’s City CLOSED *Sisters In Recovery: 41665 More Will Be Revealed: In Fenwick St., Suite 13, Step Sisters CLOSED Leonardtown, Md. Masks and parking lot, regular time and distancing required. day. Masks and distancing. Tuesday Night Big Book CLOSED There Is A Solution: Masks and We Wuz Wurz: outside bon- distancing required, regular time, fire meeting regular day & Wednesday Night Women day and location. time. CLOSED SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 11 This we owe to A.A.’s future: To place our common welfare first; To keep our Fellowship united. For on A.A. unity depend our lives, And the lives of those to come. Each of the other eleven Traditions explains one specific way to protect the unity of the Fellowship and the A.A. group. Those early members quickly recognized power-drivers as potential group-wreckers. And they’re still around - the members who are always sure that they're always right - the members who are happily ready to assume all the burdens of leadership and grimly unwilling to share them, let alone give them up. But a group does need officers. How can we cope with this dilemma? Tradition Two pro-

https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-43_thetwelvetradiillustrated.pdf vides the answer. SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 12 General Service Office of Alcoholics Anony- St. Mary's - District 36 mous issued a notice regarding the COVID-19 (coronavirus) and in it suggests local meeting alternatives as well as some good practic- es from shared experience on how to address this issue. As you know, many meetings are temporarily closed and contingency plans may need to be considered including creating contact lists and keeping in touch by phone, Saturday Evening Serenity Group has email or social media, meeting by phone or teamed up with the Friday Leonardtown online. Or try one of many online resources: Group at First Saints Community Church, • Online AA meetings – A.A. Online Inter- next to Medstar St Mary's Hospital in group Leonardtown, MD. The meeting begins at • Speaker Tape websites – AA Speak- 7PM and is a literature based meeting with er, Recovery Audio readings from a variety of books. • Speaker Tape apps – Google Play | iTunes There will no longer be a meeting on Satur- • Big Book Ultimate Companion – Google days at 7PM at the church. Play | iTunes • Joe and Charlie – Google Play | iTunes

• Tons of meetings here - http://aa- Grapevine and La Viña are intergroup.org/index.php here to help • Meetings in Spanish - https://

es.groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/ Due to the current changing health situ- AAMensaje/info ation, many AA meetings across the U.S. and Canada are finding it safer to close. To help members during this We have a mobile app! Go the Google Play Store to get your copy! time, we are giving everyone free ac- cess to all of our 2020 Grapevine and La Viña issues. (The audio to Grape- vine’s stories will be available as well, so people can listen to the stories if they like.) Please share with your fel- lows. We have also included a link to our Youtube channel with some original https://play.google.com/store/apps/ audio stories as well as other important details? information. To enter, vis- id=com.newandromo.dev359899.app6 it: www.aagrapevine.org/we-are-here-to 08979 -help

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 13 IT HAPPENED IN JANUARY... Jan 1929 - Bill W. wrote third promise in Bible to quit King School, Akron, Ohio. drinking. Jan 13, 1988 - Dr Jack Norris Chairman/Trustee of AA for Jan 1940 - Akron group moves to new home at King 27 years dies. School. Jan 15, 1937 - Fitz M brings AA meetings to Washington Jan 1944 - Dr. Harry Tiebout's first paper on the subject DC. of "Alcoholics Anonymous". Jan 15, 1945 - First AA meeting held in Springfield, Mis- Jan 1944 - onset of Bill's 11 years of depression. souri. Jan 1946 - Readers Digest does a story on AA. Jan 19, 1943 - 1st discussion for starting AA group in To- ronto. Jan 1948 - 1st A.A. meeting in Japan Jan 19, 1944 - Wilson's returned from 1st major A.A. tour. Jan 1951 - AA Grapevine publishes memorial issue for Dr Bob. Jan 19, 1999 - Frank M., AA Archivist since 1983, died peacefully in his sleep. Jan 1958 - Bill writes article for Grapevine on "Emotional Sobriety". Jan 21, 1954 - Hank P who helped Bill start NY office dies in Pennington, New Jersey. Jan 1, 1943 - Columbus Dispatch reports 1st Anniversary of Columbus, Ohio Central Group. Jan 23, 1985 - Bob B. died sober November 11, 2001. Jan 2, 1889 - Sister Ignatia born, Ballyhane Ireland. Jan 24, 1918 - Bill marries Lois Burnham in the Sweden- borgen Church in Brooklyn Heights. Jan 3, 1939 - First sale of Works Publishing Co stock is recorded. Jan 24, 1945 - 1st black group St. Louis Jan 4, 1940 - 1st AA group formed in Detroit, Michigan. Jan. 24, 1971 - Bill W dies at Miami Beach, FL. Jan 5, 1939 - Dr Bob tells Ruth Hock in a letter that AA Jan 25, 1915 - Dr. Bob marries Anne Ripley. has "to get away from the Oxford Group atmosphere". Jan 26, 1971 - New York Times publishes Bill's obituary Jan 5, 2001 - Chuck C. from Houston died sober in Texas on page 1. at 38 years sober. Jan 30, 1961 - Dr Carl Jung answers Bill's letter with Jan 6, 2000 - Stephen Poe, compiler of the Concord- "Spiritus Contra Spiritum". ance to Alcoholics Anonymous, died. End of Jan 1939 - 400 copies of manuscript of Big Book Jan 8, 1938 - New York AA splits from the Oxford Group. circulated for comment, evaluation and sale. Jan 10, 1940 - 1st AA meeting not in a home meets at http://www.a-1associates.com/aa/HISTORY_PAGE/significant_dates.htm We would love to print your submissions for the Lifeline. The primary theme of any article content should pertain to; Alcoholism and Re- covery, The Twelve Steps, The Twelve Tradi- tions, or The Concepts. Poems, AA trivia, Jokes and Cartoons are welcome too. Proper credit must be given to each article’s source if taken from previously printed materials. Please include its copyright or location found so that we can acknowledge it. Let us know If you would like to include your name and city, or if you would rather remain anonymous.

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2hq519/drunk/ SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 14 (continued on page 16) SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 15 (con’t from p.15)

(Rock Bottom, cont.) Whatever your rock bottom looks like, the key is ANYONE CAN GET SOBER - The key to each that you’re ready and willing to make a change at of these “rock bottom” experiences, however, is the this point in your life. Nobody can tell you that you outcome. Whether a person is coming to treatment didn’t suffer enough or that your drinking and using from skid row or remains employed at their job on wasn’t actually all that bad. If you’re ready to put in Wall Street, they are all willing to change their lives. the hard work of sobriety, something has dramatical- The thing is, it’s almost impossible to predict ly shifted inside you, and the change has already be- what our rock bottom will look like. We hear sto- gun. Rock bottom isn’t something we should fear; we ries of people who spend years on the streets, sur- should appreciate whatever it took to get us to open vive near-death experiences, and finally claw their our eyes. Embrace the future, accept the help, and way back to a degree of normalcy – all while using take your first step on the path to recovery. and drinking. It’s not until some seemingly minor Once you’ve hit rock bottom, it is essential to take event transpires that they finally break down and be- action immediately. come willing to get sober. Others seem to suffer Some people in re- overdoses nearly every month until they’re finally in- covery refer to a spired to get sober by running into a person from “window of oppor- their past. There’s really no predicting it. tunity” which follows While this may seem concerning or chaotic, it’s rock bottom. People actually a good thing. For those of us who got sober in this state are before our entire lives were destroyed, the “high- more open to bottom” stories can serve as proof that we can still change and willing stay sober. Things don’t have to entirely fall to piec- to ask for help – but es for us to pick up the tools of recovery. Likewise, it’s not permanent. no matter how bad things have gotten for us, people https:// can and do, stay sober for life after living through sit- www.hiredpower.com/blog/is- rock-bottom-a-necessity-or-just uations just like ours. -a-cliche/ https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-standing-on-rock-during-sunset-906531/

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 16 SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 17 January 2021

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat

1 2 Vickie P. 6yrs. Cove Point

3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Mel L., Dennis B. Lenny J., Jeff M. Donna B. 28yrs. 45yrs. King- 24 yrs So- 11yrs. Lex- 4yrs. Holly- Leonard- ston Creek ber By The ington Park wood Group town Group ZB Bay

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 Red G., 1 yr Claudia D., 10 yrs, Ear- ly Risers Z

17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Paul S. Marquette R. 2yrs. Cove 2yrs. Blue Point Top

24 25 26 27 28 29 30

David D. Gordon M., Jeff P. 6yrs. 12yr, KISS 38 yrs, Cove Point Group Poplar Hill Z

31

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 18 February 2021

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat

1 2 3 4 5 6 Joshua H., 1 yr, Blue Top Im- prov

7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Sam T., R.C., 2 yrs, 30 yrs, Solo- Beginners at mon's Noon Group

14 15 16 17 18 19 20 Ann W., 14 yrs Solomon's Group - guest spkr Vernon M.

21 22 23 24 25 26 27

Tom C., 1 yr Beginners at Noon

28

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 19 ed for our failure to read the book Alcohol- bodies throw stones at the sinners. As for Who is a ics Anonymous or the refusal of our spon- the so-called sinners, they either insist on sor to vouch for us as a candidate. And so staying around, or else they form a new Member of AA? on ad infinitum. The way our “worthy” al- Group of their own. Or maybe they join a The first edition of the book Alcoholics coholics have sometime tried to judge the more congenial and less intolerant crowd makes this brief statement about member- “less worthy” is, as we look back on it, in their neighborhood. Elders soon discov- ship: “The only requirement for member- rather comical. Imagine, if you can, one er that the rules and regulations aren’t ship is an honest desire to stop drinking. alcoholic judging another! At one time or working very well. Most attempts at en- We are not allied with any particular faith, another most AA Groups go on rule- forcement generate such waves of dissen- sector, denomination nor do we oppose making benders. Naturally enough, too, as sion and intolerance in the Group that this anyone. We simply wish to be helpful to a Group commences to grow rapidly it is condition is presently recognized to be those who are afflicted.” This expressed confronted with many alarming problems. worse for the Group life than the very our feeling as of 1939, the year our book Pan-handlers begin to pan-handle. Mem- worst that the worst ever did. was published. bers get drunk and sometimes get others After a time fear and intolerance sub- Since that day all kinds of experi- drunk with them. Those with mental diffi- side. The Group survives unscathed. Eve- ments with membership have been tried. culties throw depressions or break out into rybody has learned a great deal. So it is, The number of membership rules which paranoid denunciations of fellow mem- that few of us are any longer afraid of have been made (and mostly broken!) are bers. Gossips gossip, and righteously de- what any newcomer can do to our AA rep- legion. Two or three years ago the Central nounce the local Wolves and Red Riding utation or effectiveness. Those who slip, Office asked the groups to list their mem- Hoods. Newcomers argue that they aren’t those who pan-handle, those who scan- bership rules and send them in. After they alcoholics at all, but keep coming around dalize, those with mental twists, those who arrived we set them all down. They took a anyway. rebel at the program, those who trade on great many sheets of paper. “Slipees” trade on the fair name of AA, the AA reputation – all such persons sel- A little reflection upon these many in order to get themselves jobs. Others dom harm an AA Group for long. Some of rules brought us to an astonishing conclu- refuse to accept all the 12 Steps of the these have become our most respected – sion. If all of these edicts had been in Recovery Program. Some go still further, and best loved. Some have remained to force everywhere at once it would have saying that the “God business” is bunk try our patience, sober nevertheless. Oth- been practically impossible for any alco- and quite unnecessary. Under these con- ers have drifted away. holic to have ever joined Alcoholics Anon- ditions our conservative program-abiding We have begun to regard these ones ymous. About nine-tenths of our oldest members get scared. These appalling not as menaces, but rather as our teach- and best members could never have got conditions must be controlled, they think. ers. They oblige us to cultivate patience, by! Else AA will surely go to rack and ruin. tolerance and humility. We finally see that Who’d Have Lasted? In some cases They view with alarm for the good of the they are only people sicker than the rest of we would have been too discouraged by Movement! us, that we who condemn them are the the demands made upon us. Most of the At this point the Group enters the rule Pharisees whose false righteousness early members of AA would have been and regulation phase. Charters, by-laws does our Group the deeper spiritual dam- thrown out because they slipped too and membership rules are excitedly age. much, because their morals were too bad, passed and authority is granted commit- Ours Not to Judge- Every older AA because they had mental as well as alco- tees to filter out undesirables and disci- shudders when he remembers the names holic difficulties. Or, believe it or not, be- pline – the evil doers. Then the Group El- of persons he once condemned; people cause they did not come from the so- ders, now clothed with authority, com- he confidently predicted would never so- called better classes of society. mence to get busy. Recalcitrants are cast ber up; persons he was sure (continued on We oldsters could have been exclud- into the outer darkness, respectable busy- page 21)

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 20 (cont.) ought to be thrown out of AA for the good of the SMIA Meeting Minutes - December 12, 2020 movement. Now that some of these very persons have been sober for years, and may be numbered among his Opening: Bill L. opened with Serenity prayer. best friends, the old-timer thinks to himself “What if every- Visitors: John Z. body had judged these people as I once did? What if AA Board Members present: Bill L., Chair/Website, Tressie had slammed its door in their faces? Where would they be F., Secretary. Keenan W., Parliamentarian and Janine G. now?” Vice Chair attended via ZOOM. That is why we all judge the newcomer less and less. Groups/Committees Represented: Buddy F. – Basic If alcohol is an uncontrollable problem to him and he wish- Text, Keith H. – Almost Normal, Pat P. – North Beach and Where and When chair, Melissa – 12 and 12 Sereni- es to do something about it, that is enough for us. We care ty and Phone chair, Cathy R. – Laurel Grove and Book- not whether his case is severe or light, whether his morals stall chair, Diane – Waldorf group, are good or bad, whether he has other complications or SMIA Chair Report: Bill – no report – did not attend not. IGLC. Our AA door stands wide open, and if he passes Vice Chair Report: Janine – no report. There is an Area Assembly today. through it and commences to do anything at all about his Secretary Report: Tressie F. read Secretary’s report. problem, he is considered a member of Alcoholics Anony- The Secretary Report was accepted as read. mous. He signs nothing, agrees to nothing, promises noth- Treasurer Report: Net assets $6662.68 as of November ing. We demand nothing. He joins us on his own say so. 24th. Report is available in the Lifeline and on the SMIA Nowadays, in most Groups, he doesn’t even have to admit website. he is an alcoholic. He can join AA on the mere suspicion Committee Reports: Archives No report; Bridging the that he may be one, that he may already show the fatal Gap, No report symptoms of our malady. Bookstall: Cathy R. – Bookstall sales of $473.55 last month and $344.15 this month. Keenan has some mon- Of course this is not the universal state of affairs ey, which Cora will pick up. throughout AA. Membership rules still exist. If a member Phone report: Melissa is working on establishing a new persists in coming to meetings drunk he may be led out- answering service. There were 6 calls in November 14th side: we may ask someone to take him away. But in most through December 12th. Three were for St. Mary’s,; one Groups he can come back next day, if sober. Though he for Calvert and 2 non-specific. may be thrown out of a club, nobody thinks of throwing Lifeline: Keith H. – printed copies provided. All good. him out of AA. He is a member as long as he says he is. Website: Bill L. – 6896 visitors. There are 38 online While this broad concept of AA membership is not yet meetings and 79 meetings have reopened (lower than last month due to Blue Top Improv evening meetings unanimous, it does represent the main current of AA closed). Contact email links were added to the online thought today. We do not wish to deny anyone his chance meeting page list so people with questions or concerns to recover from alcoholism. We wish to be just as inclusive can reach directly out to host. as we can, never exclusive. Where and When: Pat P. - still have plenty of Where and When pamphlets and will not print for a while. Pat is Perhaps this trend signifies something much deeper willing to help with online updates. than a mere change of attitude on the question of mem- Corrections and Treatment: No report; PI/CPC: No re- bership. Perhaps it means that we are losing all fear of port those violent emotional storms which sometimes cross our CANCELLED: Gratitude Dinner, Picnic, Serenity Break- alcoholic world; perhaps it bespeaks our confidence that fast Old Business - None New Business - None every storm will be followed by a calm; a calm which is For the Good of the Order: District 36 is sponsoring a more understanding, more compassionate, more tolerant virtual alcathon from 9PM Christmas eve until 9PM Christmas day. than any we ever knew before. Meeting Adjourned with the Lord’s Prayer. https://www.aacle.org/who - is - a - member -of -aa/ Bill W., 1946 Grapevine Issue

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 21 WHERE DO WE SEND OUR CONTRIBUTIONS?

1)All contributions can be made online: www.somdintergroup.org/ donate.php

2) Or they can be mailed to the appro- priate office: General Service Office P.O. Box 459 Grand Central Station New York, NY 10163

Maryland General Service Inc. PO BOX 8043 Elkridge, MD 21075

Southern Maryland Intergroup (SMIA) P.O. Box 767 Charlotte Hall, MD 20622

District 1 Trust Fund (Calvert) P.O. Box 234 Barstow, MD 20610

District 35 (Charles) P.O. Box 1981 La Plata, MD 20646

District 36 (St. Mary’s) P.O. Box 1334 California, MD 20619

ATTENTION GROUP TREASURERS: *Remember to include the 6-digit GSO Group Number on all correspondence to Maryland General Service. SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 22 District 35 will be holding their business meetings Password: 121212 online until Stay at Home orders for Maryland are Join Zoom Meeting lifted. We have service positions available! The District meets the first Thursday at 7pm before the https://us02web.zoom.us/j/435977547?pwd=az St. Charles Step meeting. ZOOM meeting info is as BSYnAva2I5Tno3b2IQRVB0QWhJZz09 follows: Dial In: 833-302-1536 Meeting ID: 435 977 547 District 35 does not currently have a website.

DISTRICT 35 - CHARLES DISTRICT 1 CALVERT COUNTY COUNTY OPEN SERVICE POSITIONS: • Hospitality Chair • Communications Chair • Grapevine Rep

District Meeting: 7 PM, 1st Thursday District Meeting: Peace Lutheran Church Waldorf MD 7 PM, 3rd Monday PO Box 1981, La Plata, MD 20646 St. Paul’s Episc. Church

DISTRICT 36 Prince Frederick, MD

ST. MARY'S COUNTY District 1 Trust Fund PO Box 234 PO Box 1334, California, MD 20619 Barstow, MD 20610 www.district www.calvertaa.org 36mdaa.com

Please send any up- dates for the Where & The next SMIA Meeting will be held on When to: January 9, 2021 at 10:00 AM.

smia.whereandwhen@ There will be two options to attend: somdaa.org. Join us in person @ Immaculate Conception Church, 28297 Old Village Road, Mechanicsville, MD Current meeting guides 20659 are available at the monthly SMIA meeting Or online via Zoom @ https://zoom.us/ on a limited basis. j/99982597908? pwd=QzVLcUZrVHdacFIrYUNZN21tdkluQT09 SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 23 Reach Out and Help Someone! RECOVERY. Haven't seen Mary Kay or Jimmy Dean lately? We used to see them at meetings. Sometimes You we’d run across them on Zoom. Where did they must be go? We’re sure they’d love to hear from one of us. Especially now, with the pandemic, in- present person meetings are difficult to find or get to, to win. and not everyone enjoys or even likes the on- line meetings. If you’ve saved some of these folks in your phone contacts, take a few minutes to try and reach out to them. See how you can be of service to them. Maybe they need help finding meetings. Perhaps they’d just like to talk SMIA TEAM: for a while. Even mailing a Grapevine issue would be helpful!! Let them know we have not Chair: Bill L. forgotten them. Remember our legacies: Unity, Vice Chair: Janine G. Service, and Recovery. Let them know we care Secretary: Tressie F. during this difficult period. Treasurer: Cora W. Parliamentarian: Keenan W. “Alcoholics Anonymous has no Where & When: Pat P. opinion on outside issues; hence Lifeline: Keith H. Telephone: Melissa W. the AA name ought never be drawn Website: Bill L. into public controversy.” Bookstall: Cathy R.

THE DEADLINE FOR ALL LIFELINE SUBMISSIONS IS THE The Lifeline is an unofficial 27th OF EACH MONTH. newsletter published by South- ern Maryland Intergroup Associ- Our primary purpose is to help ation, Inc. Any opinions ex- “Our leaders are but the still suffering alcoholic. SMIA trusted servants, they is committed to this principle and pressed are those of the writers. provides a 24x7 Telephone Ser- They are not endorsed by do not govern.” vice. We need phone volunteers! SMIA, any group or AA as a Go to our website, www.somdintergroup.org. Click whole. Group secretaries and on the Phone List link, complete individuals are encouraged to the online form - this is a secure send group news, anniversaries method to add your name to the and events. Material may be ed- 12-Step Call List. This protected information is only shared with ited for space and content. the Phone Committee Chair. You Please send all Lifeline corre- will be amazed before you’re half spondence to: somdlife- way through. [email protected] SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 24