All Feathers and Attitude Virginia Macdonald Northern Michigan University, [email protected]
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Northern Michigan University NMU Commons All NMU Master's Theses Student Works 5-2015 All Feathers and Attitude Virginia MacDonald Northern Michigan University, [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: https://commons.nmu.edu/theses Part of the Nonfiction Commons Recommended Citation MacDonald, Virginia, "All Feathers and Attitude" (2015). All NMU Master's Theses. 38. https://commons.nmu.edu/theses/38 This Open Access is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Works at NMU Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in All NMU Master's Theses by an authorized administrator of NMU Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected],[email protected]. ALL FEATHERS AND ATTITUDE By Virginia A. MacDonald THESIS Submitted to Northern Michigan University In partial fulfillment of the requirements For the degree of MASTER OF FINE ARTS Office of Graduate Education and Research April 2015 SIGNATURE APPROVAL FORM Title of Thesis: ALL FEATHERS AND ATTITUDE This thesis by Virginia A. MacDonald is recommended for approval by the student’s Thesis Committee and Faculty Chair in the Department of English and by the Assistant Provost of Graduate Education and Research. ________________________________________________________________ Committee Chair: Matt Frank Date ________________________________________________________________ First Reader: Daniel Gocella Date ________________________________________________________________ Second Reader: Jon Billman Date _________________________________________________________________ Faculty Chair: Dr. Robert Whalen Date ________________________________________________________________ Dr. Brian D. Cherry Date Assistant Provost of Graduate Education and Research ABSTRACT ALL FEATHERS AND ATTITUDE By Virginia A. MacDonald This collection of essays and prose poems seeks to examine the elements of an identity: how memories, culture, work, place, family, and brain chemistry simultaneously create and undermine a sense of self. How the sense of self is not contiguous, or smooth. How hope and regret wrestle. While deeply personal, All Feathers and Attitude is not a memoir, but rather an assemblage of interpretations based on actual events. The individual pieces are gathered into sections that correlate somewhat to the themes mentioned above, but the sections are not labeled as such. The readers may draw whatever conclusions they wish regarding the sections. Things overlap. i Copyright by Virginia A. MacDonald 2015 ii For Dave, who stayed. iii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would like to thank the general big-hearted generosity of the Northern Michigan University MFA program, without which I would have floundered. Thanks to my readers, Jon Billman and Dan Gocella (who knows about grouse.) Also Jen Howard, who introduced me to nonfiction and convinced me I could do it, and to Matt Frank, who didn’t let me get away with painting happy little clouds. I would also like to acknowledge the patience and understanding of my coworkers in the Financial Aid Office at NMU. And my children, who taught me to be brave. This thesis follows the format prescribed by the MLA Style Manual and the Department of English. Some of the names have been changed; some of those on purpose. iv TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction ..................................................................................................................... 1 Chipper ........................................................................................................................... 12 On Entitlement .............................................................................................................. 19 Grandma ......................................................................................................................... 21 Rescue .............................................................................................................................. 26 On Default ...................................................................................................................... 30 Go, Jim Dandy ............................................................................................................... 35 The VW Beetle ............................................................................................................... 38 Looking on Facebook ................................................................................................... 40 Afghans ........................................................................................................................... 49 Hallelujah Dinner ......................................................................................................... 52 The Sun and The Fence ................................................................................................ 53 On Motherhood ............................................................................................................. 57 December 20 ................................................................................................................... 59 On Disappointment ...................................................................................................... 64 Carrying On.................................................................................................................... 65 v Staff Meeting ................................................................................................................. 67 The Dictionary Entry .................................................................................................... 71 Voiceover ........................................................................................................................ 76 Good Job ......................................................................................................................... 78 Adventure Pants ............................................................................................................ 86 Worse Things ................................................................................................................. 91 Wool Socks and Coffee ................................................................................................ 94 Geography .................................................................................................................... 102 Scorpio, Born in the Year of the Cock ..................................................................... 105 Truth .............................................................................................................................. 107 On Impotence .............................................................................................................. 109 Leaving .......................................................................................................................... 110 A Populated Place ....................................................................................................... 111 On Wishing .................................................................................................................. 123 Walking In Place ......................................................................................................... 124 The Untaken Vacation ............................................................................................... 132 January .......................................................................................................................... 133 The UP Predator Challenge ....................................................................................... 134 Spring ............................................................................................................................ 139 What We Lay Our Hands On .................................................................................... 143 vi On Watching the News .............................................................................................. 146 Gwen's Birdfeeder ...................................................................................................... 147 Gravedigger .................................................................................................................. 150 The Owl ........................................................................................................................ 151 The Fall.......................................................................................................................... 154 T-Shirt ........................................................................................................................... 162 On Having Removed All the Junk Food from the House to Be Supportive of My Husband’s Efforts to Lower His Blood Pressure and Cholesterol after the Sobering Doctor’s Appointment, and Ticks .......................................................... 164 Kestrel ........................................................................................................................... 172 An Outline for the End of the World As We Know It ......................................... 177 References ..................................................................................................................... 185 vii Introduction Ginny MacDonald has a bad memory. She is afraid she will be held to task for that. She is easily swayed by the assertions of others regarding the actual details of true-life events. There are events that others swear are actual for which Ginny MacDonald has no personal recollection