Groomed for Betrayal
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Coercive tactics 1 Running head: COERCIVE TACTICS Cultivating dependence, denial, and self-blame: The use and effects of coercive tactics in intimate partner violence Cindy B. Veldhuis, Ph.D. Columbia University Corresponding author: Cindy B. Veldhuis, PhD [email protected] 630 West 168th St. New York, NY 10032 Acknowledgments: I would like to thank Dr. Stephanie Riger and my classmates from our Violence against women class: Alaine Kalder, Cat Jacquet, Korin Isotalo, Candice Weber, Cherise Ruffin, Melissa Ponce-Rodas, and Kim Davidson for their very helpful comments and feedback on previous drafts. I would moreover like to thank Dr. Jennifer Freyd for her support and encouragement. Dr. Veldhuis’ participation in this research was made possible through an NIH/NIAAA Pathway to Independence K99/R00 Award (K99AA028049; PI C. Veldhuis). The content is solely the responsibility of the author and does not necessarily represent the official views of the National Institutes of Health. Disclosure: The author has nothing to disclose. Key Words: intimate partner violence, LGBT relationships, same-sex couples, coercion, trauma Coercive tactics 2 Abstract Little research has investigated coercive tactics in intimate partner violence, and even less has examined coercive tactics among LGBTQIA+ relationships despite their higher rates of intimate partner violence. Abusers may consciously exploit these tactics to ensure dependence and enable continued abuse. To demonstrate this, I use research on abusers’ controlling and coercive tactics and delineate the predictable effects on victims such as lowering their awareness of the violence, decreasing the likelihood of disclosure, and locating blame for the abuse in the victim. In doing so, I also marshal the limited research on coercive tactics in LGBTQIA+ relationships to broaden understanding of coercive tactics in relationships outside of solely heterosexual couples. Abusive relationships in which coercive tactics are used to establish and maintain control may lead to worse mental and physical health outcomes for the victim and may be more violent than bi-directional violence and other forms of intimate partner violence. These dynamics may have unique and pernicious effects on LGBTQIA+ couples. Understanding the patterns of coercive behaviors may help abused partners decrease self-blame and understand the broader context in which they and their abuser are situated which is vital to better understand the dynamics of violence and to end violence. Coercive tactics 3 INTRODUCTION Across different violence and abuse types, the ways perpetrators assert power and control are terrifyingly similar (Herman, 1997). Strategies to assert power serve to systematically control the victim through “disempowerment and disconnection” (Herman, 1997). The intent is to create dependence by destroying the victim’s sense of self and isolating them completely. Rather than ensuring victims feel hatred and antipathy toward their captors, these methods may increase dependence and sympathy. Although there has been research on abusers’ tactics and the resultant effects on the victim, there is little discussion of how these two interact to erode the abused partner’s agency and self-esteem while concurrently increasing dependence and reinforcing abuse in the relationship. In this article, I will examine the predictable effects abusers’ tactics have on abused partners: increasing dependence, decreasing the likelihood of disclosure, and locating blame for the abuse in the victim. Ultimately, these tactics, in concert, create a gradual process that makes it exceptionally difficult to clearly see that what is occurring is truly abusive. INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE In the United States, it is estimated that 44% of women and 25% of men have experienced violence in their relationships (Smith et al., 2018). Research on IPV has largely centered on cisgender (gender is consistent with sex assigned at birth) presumably heterosexual (presumably because the gender composition of a couple is not necessarily indicative of the sexual identities of the partners) couples. Far less research has focused on same-sex couples and other couples within the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual (LGBTQIA+) community (e.g., couples in which at least one person is transgender or nonbinary or identifies as bisexual). However, rates of intimate partner violence (IPV) are alarmingly high among LGBTQIA+ people. The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey estimates that 44% of lesbian and 61% of bisexual cisgender women have been in violent relationships (Walters et al., 2013). Among men, 26% of gay and 37% of bisexual men report lifetime intimate violence. Among transgender individuals, rates are even higher with almost 60% of participants Coercive tactics 4 in the US Transgender Survey reporting lifetime violence (James et al., 2015). There appear to be no differences by sex assigned at birth or whether participants were transgender compared to nonbinary (Peitzmeier et al., 2020); however, data that disaggregate by gender identity and sex assigned at birth are sparse. Further, most research tends to focus on physical violence, despite the fact that emotional or psychological abuse are far more widespread (Smith et al., 2018), and may even have more deleterious long-term effects (Mitchell & Raghavan, 2019). Understanding the dynamics of violence among diverse couples, including LGBTQIA+ couples, is critically important in order to reduce risks. Raghavan and colleagues note in a recent paper that violence research among LGBTQIA+ couples has only recently investigated more complex research questions outside of prevalence of IPV (Raghavan et al., 2019) such as mechanisms or understanding the context of abuse in the relationship. As the bulk of research on IPV focuses on violence in different-sex couples, most example quotes are from relationships between men and women. There is some evidence that similar abuse-related dynamics exist among LGBTQIA+ couples, but the dearth of research limits our knowledge. In the absence of adequate research, this review makes an assumption that these dynamics may have some applicability to violence within LGBTQIA+ couples; however, more primary research is needed. Typologies of abusers There have been many attempts at classifying IPV based on types of violence or characteristics of the abuse (Ali et al., 2016). Johnson and Leone (2005) delineated at least two typologies of intimate violence: common couple violence and coercive controlling violence; these typologies have been recently validated (Mennicke, 2019). Table 1 delineates the key aspects of each typology. Violence in common/situational couple violence is not rooted in an overarching desire to control the other partner— rather, it arises in response to conflicts. Contrastingly, coercive controlling violence (CCV; also called intimate terrorism) is defined as one partner’s desire to control the other through violence and coercive means. Control is maintained through the constant threat of violence, as the victim is often so terrified of Coercive tactics 5 violence they will do whatever they can to avoid it (Johnson & Leone, 2005). These perpetrators “methodically plan and control their hostility for maximum effect” (Gortner et al., 1997). CCV is significantly more likely to result in higher levels of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD; K. L. Anderson, 2008), missed work, abuse of painkillers in victims (Johnson & Leone, 2005), and more likely to have long-term impacts on mental health (Crossman & Hardesty, 2018; Hines & Douglas, 2018). Although IPV generally may involve the use of coercive controlling behaviors, in CCV the controlling behaviors are part of a larger effort to exert control over the partner (Raghavan et al., 2019) and thus CCV is the focus of this article. It is widely believed that LGBTQIA+ couples who experience IPV almost wholly experience mutual and situational violence (Edwards et al., 2015; Frankland & Brown, 2014; Stanley et al., 2006). This may be partially because the IPV literature typically frames violence as being between a man (abuser) and a woman (victim) in presumably heterosexual relationships. However, there is some evidence that among same-sex couples, 4-7% may fit in the CCV typology and slightly less than a quarter report using high levels of controlling behaviors in their relationships (Frankland & Brown, 2014; Stanley et al., 2006). Among heterosexual couples, 15% of abusers may use controlling behaviors in the relationship. Examinations of gender in CCV suggest that coercive control is gendered and used in different- sex relationships, because it is “made possible by the historical and current oppression of women” (Crossman & Hardesty, 2018). The lack of sex/gender differences in many LGBTQIA+ couples may suggest a lack of power differential and mutual violence. However, gender is not the only way to evince power differences in a relationship (Donovan & Hester, 2014; Stark & Hester, 2019). Differences in social locations such as education, race/ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or physical or mental health can lead to increased or lowered power in relationships. Conceivably, coercive control may be potentiated by LGBTQIA+ people’s historical and current marginalization, and abusive partners may leverage this oppression to exert control. For example, homo-/bi-/transphobia can be used to convince the partner that Coercive tactics 6 the abuse should not be disclosed, that no one else is trustworthy,