Download Lyrics

It falls once again. Is the winter never-ending? Soaked to the gills, Which we really ought to grow... TRAFFIC AND WEATHER Creeks overfill; Music, Shelly Berg/Lyrics, Lorraine Feather There's a heady scent of mildew In the canyons of San Mateo. So, there's a bit of a situation On the Golden Gate. We got traffic and weather, Steer clear of the number 2 lane Traffic and weather. If it's not too late. Like Rand and McNally, Got carpet unspoolin’ They're always together. For a mile, no foolin’. There'll be some tricky vehiculation out on Now, if you're traveling from Sonoma, Highway One. That's a nasty route. Watch out for Cal Trans You're seething with irritation On Devil's Slide, Devil's Slide. From the harsh commute. It's fragile and slippery and not very wide. That's our copter above you—hi! God, there's so many of you. Three little words, If you're traveling north on I-5 Your life's in your paws I can only say three little words: As you creep along the causeway, "Stalled big rig." If your attention Meanders out to sea. Move it! Try not to gawk At the tussle on the walkway! We've got reports of a little twister Mind how you swerve Over Watsonville. While avoiding the debris! There's hail the size of ponies Out in Pleasant Hill, We got traffic and weather, Hail, hail, hail, hail hail,hail.... Traffic and weather. Like Barnum and Bailey, We got traffic and weather, They're always together. Traffic and weather. Like "cease" and "desist," I see some heavy precipitation You know they were made for each other. In the northern bay. Might not want a plan a picnic— Traffic and weather, It'll be headed your way. Traffic and weather. Brackish clouds moving inland... Like movies and popcorn, Soon you'll think you're in Finland. Like flotsam and jetsam, Like models and make-up, Still recovering from the outages Like Itchy and Scratchy, In Walnut Creek; Like breaking and ent'ring, We might have told you diff'rent, Like protons and neutrons, But it'll rain all week, Like drummers and singers, Rain, rain, rain, rain... They're always together. 1 Boop boop boop, de doop de de (etc.)... He said: “Thanks for listening. Are you ready to hear the news? Guess we both agree that it's Never easy. WE APPRECIATE YOUR PATIENCE Deciding how to tell you, Music, Shelly Berg/Lyrics, Lorraine Feather I felt a bit queasy. She said, “Please forgive me. “Thanks for calling! Say I didn't emotionally This is a recording, but Maul or main you. Don't be nervous. You've grown so much Our goal is to you provide you with You almost are not the same you. Excellent service. “And I appreciate your patience, “Please forgive us. 'Cause I'm not another No one would intentionally Coldly uncaring Lothario Overstrain you Like the rest of your boyfriends. Soon, music from the '80s will I appreciate your patience! Entertain you. “How poignant it seems, “We appreciate your patience, When I know what you know. And we promise you You'll live in my dreams A customer care representative When I go, I go.” Will be with you shortly. We appreciate your patience. VERY UNBECOMING Music, Tony Morales/Eddie Arkin “We now have a functioning website. Lyrics, Lorraine Feather Maybe you're still not aware? Most customers choose I was stuck in a rut, To do absolutely everything there. And I was explaining to you How I had this fear “I suppose I'm implying That in 30 years That this phone call, in fact, I'd be frail, destitute and alone, Is what we now consider Nothing to show for my life, nothing, To be an outmoded method of contact. Living in a house of cats, Afraid to go to the store, “But we appreciate your patience— Not so attractive anymore. No, I'm serious. I was going on about it at great length; Soon a cheerful and calm individual All of a sudden Will be here to assist you. I stopped and sighed, We appreciate your patience. And you replied: “How poignant it seems, I can hear every word you say, When you know what you know. But it's very unbecoming. You'll live in our dreams Once in a while you may feel that way, When you go, But it's very unbecoming. When you go.” 2 There's so much to worry about. But it's very unbecoming. It can take up absolutely all your time! Now and again you may feel that way, The cruel tricks of fate, the ravages of age, But it's very unbecoming. The decline of music, the way the world is run... It's enough to make you sabotage your fun, I LOVE NEW YORK AT CHRISTMAS Just waiting for the axe to fall. Music, Shelly Berg/Lyrics, Lorraine Feather You watch the news so often, you're in thrall. 'Fraid you'll take off through the roof, When the sun rose The way your nerves are humming, Christmas morning, Central Park was dressed in white, And it's very unbecoming. Soft and peaceful, Now and again you may feel that way, Hushed and gleaming. But it's very unbecoming. There is no more lovely sight. I used to be terrified of being betrayed, right? Walking past the frozen lake, And I'd made this guy Down the path we used to take, The center of my life. 'Fraid my heart might break in two. He'd stay out late at night. I need you now, I'd lie there and count the passing cars, 'Cause you know how Fifty-one, fifty-two. I love New York at Christmas. At the time, there seemed like Nothing I could do. Easy laughter, He'd never come over, never call; Joyous carols, Invariably, I'd wake up fuming about it all, At the Tavern on the Green— Have screaming arguments with him Trees were sparkling; In my head. You were smiling Then one morning I looked in the mirror With a warmth I'd never seen. And I said: I was sure you'd draw me near, I can see how upset you are, Say the words I had to hear. But it's very unbecoming. As the snow began to fall, You've taken this quite a bit too far, You sighed instead, And it's very unbecoming. And only said Oh, I can hear every word you say, "I love New York at Christmas." But it's very unbecoming Now and again you might feel this way, Saw the windows But it's very unbecoming. Down at Macy's— Sidewalk Santas, cheeks aglow. You can fear that if you find success, Now's the time for You'll be torn to pieces by a nasty throng, New beginnings; Because they're all convinced How I'll find one, I don't know. Your point of view is wrong. You could lose your marbles, All Manhattan seems to be Or even break your heart. Celebrating merrily. You can fear the psycho lurking in the minimart, In my soul I'm glad I'm here. Or fear the splitting of the earth, I love New York at Christmas, Or fear you overestimate your worth. Though in a way You can be afraid of everything, It's hard to say 3 I love New York at Christmas Though I like playin' tag with the bad guys, This year. Haulin' tail down the California coast, In a world full of grifters and gadflies, HOME ALONE I discovered what beguiles me the most. (for Kinsey Millhone) I don't know and baby, I don't even try to know Music, Russell Ferrante/ Why I never wind up waiting by the phone, Lyrics, Lorraine Feather But I'm happy in my own private Idaho. What I love is bein' home alone I stare at the skylight, The onrushing twilight, With my old oak floors, Small, angry clouds in my view. And my dark red doors... Darkness encroaches, Mornings when a whisper seems to wake me, The old thrill approaches; It's just the distant bark of sea lions out at sea. Raindrops begin their tattoo. "I love being single. It's almost like being rich." No one to hold me, -Kinsey Millhone Scope me or scold me. (from Sue Grafton's book "D" is for Deadbeat) Makes me quite giddy somehow. Adrift and ungrounded, HIT THE GROUND RUNNIN' Illusions unbounded, Music, Russell Ferrante/ Feels good as the law should allow. Lyrics, Lorraine Feather Though I like playin' tag with the bad guys, It's almost unbelievable Haulin' tail down the California coast, But the New Year's here again. In a world full of grifters and gadflies, Time to pump our mood, I discovered what beguiles me the most. Get unglued from ESPN, I don't know and baby, I don't even try to know Our goals are still achievable, Why I never wind up waiting by the phone, But we gotta get back in the game. But I'm happy in my own private Idaho. Play ball! What I love is bein' home alone. Let's make it to the Hall of Fame! I buy food and flowers. We're in a must-win situation, Work till all hours, Back from the brink of elimination. The silence not always profound, You and me, baby, Clean up for a while, Gonna hit the ground runnin' Then run for a mile.

Load more