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Beryl@Wessexscene.Co.Uk Slept with and She Demands Sex 10 Times a Day INSIDE: Beryl,GETS HER KNICKERS wessexscene.co.uk 20th March 2002 - ISSUE 754 - PRICELESS IN A TWIST! ANOTHER WESSEXSCENE EXCLUSIVE KEBAB’EDA walk home turned into a nightmare for a group of Southampton University Students...Continued on page 2... PAGE 2 Wessexscene.co.uk INSIDE YOUR THIS ISSUE PAGE Dear6 VODKA WATCH WITH JOEL STOBART Durham A walk home from Poundstretcher Nigel Massen injury to his hand whilst trying to correct the damage done to his four turned into a nightmare for a protect his head from the blow. The front teeth. group of Southampton University er, "this was when we really shit man from the kebab shop then went Wales ourselves," says Computer London students after they were attacked back inside and locked the door. Although not an entirely unpro- in Portswood on the 22nd of Engineering student Oliver Minutes later three police cars and a voked attack, this incident is shock- February. A group of ten students Pearmain. As the situation started to police van were on the scene fol- ing in its brutality, illustrating how Soton were making their way back from get out of control Oliver pulled his lowing a total of four 999 calls from out of control a bit of harmless the Students‘ Union when two of friend John Goldie away from the Oliver, the staff in the shop and ‘cheek’ can get. The whole group of AROUND THE WORLD the group decided to bare their confrontation. John, celebrating his from two other passer-bys. Two students were drunk, Adam had Amsterdam £1.00 Los Angles £1.70 arses to staff cleaning up in a 21st birthday, had his 16 year old members of staff from the kebab been ejected from Poundstretcher Athens £1.20 Madrtid £1.50 kebab shop in the Portswood brother Adam visiting. Oliver then shop were arrested, one was released for his behaviour earlier that night. Barbados £1.10 Majorca £1.60 went to pull Adam away from the Barcelona £1.30 Manus £1.00 area. almost immediately, the other, the They moonied, then argued, this argument as well but, in doing so, Budapest £0.80 Miami £1.40 more active of the two, was kept only escalated the situation. At any Calcutta £0.80 Moscow £0.90 The students allege that two mem- was hit over the head with the knife overnight before being released. point in the confrontation they could Dhaka £0.90 New York £2.00 bers of staff unlocked the door and sharpener. Dazed he sat on the kerb, Charges have yet to be brought have walked away, they chose not to Frisco £2.50 Oslo £4.00 one came outside while the other his head bleeding heavily as he rang against this man although investiga- and paid for it. Whilst some may Geneva £2.70 Paris £2.00 the police. Some confusion follows; Hong Kong £4.00 Prague £0.60 remained in the doorway. After try- tions are underway. The three feel that, to a certain extent, they got John clearly remembers seeing his Jo’berg £1.45 Rio £1.45 ing to placate the kebab shop staff injured students were taken to what they deserved, this went way Kabul £2.00* Sarajevo £1.00 there was some shouting between brother being approached by the Southampton General Hospital by too far. Trading blows may be vio- Lagos £0.55 Sydney £1.40 the students and man outside the man with the knife sharpener, his Ambulance where Oliver required lent enough, getting hit over the Lisbon £1.50 Tenerife £1.10 shop, especially when he started to brother was head-butted and fell to six stitches to his head and John had head with a metal bar is a different London £1.95 *Where available threaten them with a knife sharpen- the floor and viciously kicked in the x-rays of his hand taken. Adam will game entirely. Wessex Scene face. The knife sharpener was then need long term dental treatment to SUSU swung at John who sustained an Highfield Southampton SO17 1BJ Phone: 02380 595230 Phone: 02380 595252 Advertising Hospitality Vicky Horrigan DRINK BEFORE [email protected] The views expressed are those of the authors and not neces- sarily those of the Students TheA UniversitySSURED has been accredited? Union with ‘Hospitality Assured’ through you THINK it’s Business Services department. HODGE - BARKING, UP THE WRONG TREE Sports: Christina Cooper Roger Mallet, Business Services MARGARET Hodge, the Barking by the researchers but they found seems that alcohol helps to better Features: Kate Messer Director, said; "I am delighted and Minister, may be damaging chanc- that memory power can be signifi- code the information, making it News: Imo et al. proud to know that my department Clubs & Socs: es for students to pass their exams. cantly boosted by small quantities easier to recall. This could be due to is only one of a handful of public Fiona Cowood "I always enjoy a quick pint of booze. its reinforcing properties, or the fact Crazy Fool: sector bodies to have been awarded before I work in the morning" Tests carried out at Northumbria that when mildly under the influ- Joel Stobart Hospitality assured." Remember to says Ben Husband, Electronic University show, on the whole, ence, new information cannot get Editor in Chief: remind them when you next get Engineer. Ben has won the sup- drinking half a pint of lager improves into the memory store and 'displace' Peter Wood "served" at Garden Court. port of eminent scientists in is brainpower by 20%. In one experi- the stuff you've just learned. Union: Emma Webster claim that "it improves my mem- ment carried out on 30 students "However, the results indicated that Sports: Business Services department, ory and helps me think". Hodges involving memorising word lists, larger doses of alcohol improved Susannah Parker VITAL STATS: comments that students spend too those who drank alcohol outper- confidence, which could account much money on drink, may have formed their counterparts by 50%. for people being more prone to The Edge: Annual turnover £16m come at the most inopportune However, researchers found that making errors when they have drunk Emmanuelle Smith Staff: 550 moment. It is now believed that much more than half a pint of lager alcohol." PROFIT:£0 students are actually trying to gave students false confidence and 5100 places in Halls of improve grades by buying around led to mistakes being made. Dr Residence £25 per week (or a pint every 8 Andrew Scholey, director of University Catering hours) simply to improve aca- Northumbria University's Human NEWSDESK Hall Bars & Staff Club demic performance. Cognitive Neuroscience Unit, said: Day Nurseries "It seems apparent that a low dose 023 80 595230 Print Centre A glass of lager can double the of alcohol can actually improve [email protected] Post Office (on Burgess brain's capacity to recall informa- memory. Road) tion has been cited by researchers. "It is essential that the dose is right The Wessex Scene Online: Unilink The idea that alcohol can confuse and that the alcohol is given between http://wessexscene.co.uk Accommodation Office the mind was only partly dispelled learning and subsequent recall. "It Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 3 PAGE 4 Wessexscene.co.uk TODGAY weONE have learnt that IN 60 SECONDS union politics is out of con- trol. Everyone and their dog “A plea from a wessexscene editor for the 2000 who is now in vicious legal bat- tles. Infighting in the union voted, and to the 19,000 who didn’t to take 60 sec- is rife. The presidential race was declared and the victor onds to think what is really important.” announced. Legal, political and social battles have since broken out throughout the union. It is a thoroughly unpleasant place to be. Two of the candidates have since levelled their considerable clout into having the election declared null and void. They may well, and pos- sibly correctly endeavoured to make this happen. They have gathered a list of hundreds of signatures in their support, including a quarter of the union officers to assist their effort. The reasons being used in this attempt to declare the election null and void are that there are consider- able perceived problems with the decisions made by the returning officer. This is coupled with a clear- ly discernible conflict of interest of a sabbatical on elections commit- tee. In everyone's rigour to make the elections fair, some seem to have forgotten what fair is. Fair is an election where every candidate starts with an equal footing and where every candidate can poten- tially, and reasonably win. However, the fact that the union is facing its toughest financial test in its history should mean that this political manoeuvrings should be mollified, unfortunately they are intensified. The unions financial officer said to the unions manage- ment committee that she was "los- ing sleep" over the potential cash- flow crisis. It is my plea that all three candidates in the last election can, for the sake of the union, campaign ONLY by demonstrating how much they can do for the union now. no posters, no flyers, no stickers... just the praise for selfless assistance of the union that I know all the candidates have given in the past, and that I know they can give again. Joel Stobart Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 5 GONE IN 60 SECONDS Chart TOPPER SOUTHAMPTONanswer the question correctly to getON TOP IN CAMPUS WARS entered into a draw for that fort- night's prizes. Every correct answer from students at your college gives your college an extra point in the Campus Wars league tables.
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