inside:

Beryl,gets her knickers

wessexscene.co.uk 20th March 2002 - ISSUE 754 - PRICELESS in a twist! ANOTHER WESSEXSCENE EXCLUSIVE

KEBAB’EDA walk home turned into a nightmare for a group of Southampton University Students...Continued on page 2... PAGE 2 Wessexscene.co.uk INSIDE YOUR THIS ISSUE

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Dear6

VODKA WATCH with JOEL STOBART

Durham A walk home from Poundstretcher Nigel Massen injury to his hand whilst trying to correct the damage done to his four turned into a nightmare for a protect his head from the blow. The front teeth. group of Southampton University er, "this was when we really shit man from the kebab shop then went Wales ourselves," says Computer London students after they were attacked back inside and locked the door. Although not an entirely unpro- in Portswood on the 22nd of Engineering student Oliver Minutes later three police cars and a voked attack, this incident is shock- February. A group of ten students Pearmain. As the situation started to police van were on the scene fol- ing in its brutality, illustrating how Soton were making their way back from get out of control Oliver pulled his lowing a total of four 999 calls from out of control a bit of harmless the Students‘ Union when two of friend John Goldie away from the Oliver, the staff in the shop and ‘cheek’ can get. The whole group of AROUND THE WORLD the group decided to bare their confrontation. John, celebrating his from two other passer-bys. Two students were drunk, Adam had Amsterdam £1.00 Los Angles £1.70 arses to staff cleaning up in a 21st birthday, had his 16 year old members of staff from the kebab been ejected from Poundstretcher Athens £1.20 Madrtid £1.50 kebab shop in the Portswood brother Adam visiting. Oliver then shop were arrested, one was released for his behaviour earlier that night. Barbados £1.10 Majorca £1.60 went to pull Adam away from the Barcelona £1.30 Manus £1.00 area. almost immediately, the other, the They moonied, then argued, this argument as well but, in doing so, Budapest £0.80 Miami £1.40 more active of the two, was kept only escalated the situation. At any Calcutta £0.80 Moscow £0.90 The students allege that two mem- was hit over the head with the knife overnight before being released. point in the confrontation they could Dhaka £0.90 New York £2.00 bers of staff unlocked the door and sharpener. Dazed he sat on the kerb, Charges have yet to be brought have walked away, they chose not to Frisco £2.50 Oslo £4.00 one came outside while the other his head bleeding heavily as he rang against this man although investiga- and paid for it. Whilst some may Geneva £2.70 Paris £2.00 the police. Some confusion follows; Hong Kong £4.00 Prague £0.60 remained in the doorway. After try- tions are underway. The three feel that, to a certain extent, they got John clearly remembers seeing his Jo’berg £1.45 Rio £1.45 ing to placate the kebab shop staff injured students were taken to what they deserved, this went way Kabul £2.00* Sarajevo £1.00 there was some shouting between brother being approached by the Southampton General Hospital by too far. Trading blows may be vio- Lagos £0.55 Sydney £1.40 the students and man outside the man with the knife sharpener, his Ambulance where Oliver required lent enough, getting hit over the Lisbon £1.50 Tenerife £1.10 shop, especially when he started to brother was head-butted and fell to six stitches to his head and John had head with a metal bar is a different London £1.95 *Where available threaten them with a knife sharpen- the floor and viciously kicked in the x-rays of his hand taken. Adam will game entirely. Wessex Scene face. The knife sharpener was then need long term dental treatment to SUSU swung at John who sustained an Highfield Southampton SO17 1BJ

Phone: 02380 595230 Phone: 02380 595252 Advertising Hospitality Vicky Horrigan Drink before [email protected]

The views expressed are those of the authors and not neces- sarily those of the Students TheA Universityssured has been accredited? Union with ‘Hospitality Assured’ through you THINK it’s Business Services department. HODGE - BARKING, UP THE WRONG TREE Sports: Christina Cooper Roger Mallet, Business Services Margaret Hodge, the Barking by the researchers but they found seems that alcohol helps to better Features: Kate Messer Director, said; "I am delighted and Minister, may be damaging chanc- that memory power can be signifi- code the information, making it News: Imo et al. proud to know that my department Clubs & Socs: es for students to pass their exams. cantly boosted by small quantities easier to recall. This could be due to is only one of a handful of public Fiona Cowood "I always enjoy a quick pint of booze. its reinforcing properties, or the fact Crazy Fool: sector bodies to have been awarded before I work in the morning" Tests carried out at Northumbria that when mildly under the influ- Joel Stobart Hospitality assured." Remember to says Ben Husband, Electronic University show, on the whole, ence, new information cannot get Editor in Chief: remind them when you next get Engineer. Ben has won the sup- drinking half a pint of lager improves into the memory store and 'displace' Peter Wood "served" at Garden Court. port of eminent scientists in is brainpower by 20%. In one experi- the stuff you've just learned. Union: Emma Webster claim that "it improves my mem- ment carried out on 30 students "However, the results indicated that Sports: Business Services department, ory and helps me think". Hodges involving memorising word lists, larger doses of alcohol improved Susannah Parker VITAL STATS: comments that students spend too those who drank alcohol outper- confidence, which could account much money on drink, may have formed their counterparts by 50%. for people being more prone to The Edge: Annual turnover £16m come at the most inopportune However, researchers found that making errors when they have drunk Emmanuelle Smith Staff: 550 moment. It is now believed that much more than half a pint of lager alcohol." PROFIT:£0 students are actually trying to gave students false confidence and 5100 places in Halls of improve grades by buying around led to mistakes being made. Dr Residence £25 per week (or a pint every 8 Andrew Scholey, director of University Catering hours) simply to improve aca- Northumbria University's Human NEWSDESK Hall Bars & Staff Club demic performance. Cognitive Neuroscience Unit, said: Day Nurseries "It seems apparent that a low dose 023 80 595230 Print Centre A glass of lager can double the of alcohol can actually improve [email protected] Post Office (on Burgess brain's capacity to recall informa- memory. Road) tion has been cited by researchers. "It is essential that the dose is right The Wessex Scene Online: Unilink The idea that alcohol can confuse and that the alcohol is given between http://wessexscene.co.uk Accommodation Office the mind was only partly dispelled learning and subsequent recall. "It Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 3 PAGE 4 Wessexscene.co.uk

Todgay weone have learnt that in 60 seconds union politics is out of con- trol. Everyone and their dog “A plea from a wessexscene editor for the 2000 who is now in vicious legal bat- tles. Infighting in the union voted, and to the 19,000 who didn’t to take 60 sec- is rife. The presidential race was declared and the victor onds to think what is really important.” announced. Legal, political and social battles have since broken out throughout the union. It is a thoroughly unpleasant place to be.

Two of the candidates have since levelled their considerable clout into having the election declared null and void. They may well, and pos- sibly correctly endeavoured to make this happen. They have gathered a list of hundreds of signatures in their support, including a quarter of the union officers to assist their effort.

The reasons being used in this attempt to declare the election null and void are that there are consider- able perceived problems with the decisions made by the returning officer. This is coupled with a clear- ly discernible conflict of interest of a sabbatical on elections commit- tee.

In everyone's rigour to make the elections fair, some seem to have forgotten what fair is. Fair is an election where every candidate starts with an equal footing and where every candidate can poten- tially, and reasonably win.

However, the fact that the union is facing its toughest financial test in its history should mean that this political manoeuvrings should be mollified, unfortunately they are intensified. The unions financial officer said to the unions manage- ment committee that she was "los- ing sleep" over the potential cash- flow crisis.

It is my plea that all three candidates in the last election can, for the sake of the union, campaign ONLY by demonstrating how much they can do for the union now. no posters, no flyers, no stickers... just the praise for selfless assistance of the union that I know all the candidates have given in the past, and that I know they can give again. Joel Stobart Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 5 gone in 60 seconds Chart Topper

SOUTHAMPTONanswer the question correctly to getON TOP IN CAMPUS WARS entered into a draw for that fort- night's prizes. Every correct answer from students at your college gives your college an extra point in the Campus Wars league tables. At the end of the com- petition, Barclaycard will donate £10,000 to the Hardship Fund of the The Times Newspaper has set up a college with the most points. classic battle of campus against Southampton University proudly campus. Luckily for Southampton sits on top of this league table, fight- that it is winning. ing off strong competition from Every two weeks they ask a new Oxford Brooks. Should the top prize question, the answer to which can be won, the money could well go to be found in The Times or on The paying for the biggest party in the Times website. All you have to do is university’s history. visit www.times-student.co.uk to win a host of great prizes including £10,000 for the union. BEEB best for graduate jobs The BBC might be accused of dum- ming-down but it is the most attrac- tive place to work according to a survey of 6000 final year students. The BBC has moved back to th top slot after losing it last year to the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, which now sits second. Despite financial difficulties British Airways is in third while Accenture is fourth. Despite gaining Enron notoriety, Andersen ranks fifth.

The survey, by consulting firm Universum Communications, asked students at 42 universities to name the five organisations for which they would most like to work. Researchers also asked students about their expected salaries; on 127F ABOVE average, students expect to earn 6/7 £19,424 in their first job and £29,553 BAR STREET Beside The Square after three years. Student also EASTClose STREET to Brannigans wished for International career opportunities (first), followed by a "variety of assignments". "Secure employment" a concern for 30% ALWAYS OPEN LATE and over a quarter want flexible working hours while extra holidays FEED A FRIEND FOR FREE! and paid overtime are considered Buy any Footlong and A Large Drink and Get more attractive than a company car Another Footlong of Equal or Lesser Value FREE! or share options. Your Friend Must Accompany You. One voucher per person. PAGE 6 Wessexscene.co.uk

MYSTIC The Only Horoscope for MOG UNDERWEARTRAUMA Students worth reading... DearThe Worlds Number 1 Mature Beryl, OUR HANDY DESTINY TIPS: Student Agony Aunt Wath out for naked women they her she becomes angry. Is this nor- Dear Beryl, cause havoc mal behaviour? I wouldn't call myself I have an unsightly lump on my frigid or unadventurous but I would neck. It is hideously grotesque and I be far happier if we only had sex feel embarrassed to go outside with twice a week. I play for a very suc- it. Everybody laughs at it and I can't Aries You are going to be very lucky. This is the time to buy a lottery ticket. cessful football team and am worried even get close to girls. I saw my doc- On the other hand don’t walk under any ladders as you could have a close that my bedroom antics will hinder tor but he took one look at it and said call! Don’t wear Red. my performance on the pitch. I have removing it would prove fatal. What not told my friends about this but it is can I do? This hideous lump of use- Taurus a massive problem for me. less flesh is ruining my life. You’ll meet the person of your dreams at 2 on Friday in the coffee bar- Please be of assistance, Yours Kevin. don’t be late or they may never return. Ryan Dear Beryl, YOU’VE BEEN IGNORING ME!!!! Ryan, Dear Kevin, Gemini I’M GONNA GUT YOU LIKE A Pointy ears, bushy tail? You’re looking foxy! now’s the time to book a Twice a week Ryan? What are you; You’re in luck. You want to get your- FISH BITCH. I’M GONNA HANG holiday- but not in the countryside- beware the hounds! saving up to be celibate? Twice a self down to the kebab shop (see YOUR ROTTEN CARCASS FROM week is less than average, even a front page); they’re cutting people up THE HIGHEST TREE IN THE Mayfly does it more than that and for free. Ok, it may be fatal, but, bet- COMMON AND WATCH THE they only live for a day (in May ter fatal than lumpy. Cancer CROWS PECK OUT YA EYES. I apparently). I know how she feels; a Beryl You may feel sensitive about your hair this week. Cut it all off, enjoy the LOVE YOU BUT IF I CAN’T woman’s needs must be met. If freedom, save money on shampoo and spend it on beer. HAVE YOU THEN NO ONE you’re not man enough for the job, I WILL. suggest a womanshare arrangement. Dear Beryl, ANON. It’s like those cheap holiday villas in My Buddhist housemates keep leav- Spain, you share her with another Leo ing large amounts of hair in the bath You survived this far Leo. However, things may get worse. Like a cat you Dear ANON., bloke so she’s always got someone plughole. They insist on shaving will need nine lives to make it to the next issue. I’m sensing some pent-up aggression sitting round the pool. their bodies from head to toe. here. Have you considered therapy? Beryl Whenever I have a shower it turns Being sectioned under the mental into a giant bowl of hair soup. It health act maybe? Please ring this Virgo Dear Beryl, makes me sick. number: 999, and stay on the line for Careful! You’re treadding on very smelly broken eggs! To survive the I’ve just started seeing a new girl and Help, experience eat alot of Chinese food but watch out for the prawn crackers. at least two minutes while the police I’m a bit concerned that she never Archie trace the call. Go on, you’ll feel wears matching underwear. Most much better. By the way, it’s ‘going Dear Archie, girls make an effort for at least the to’, not GONNA, and ‘your’, not Are you a bastion of personal hygiene Libra first few weeks; she didn’t bother YA. are you? Never left a mess in the You may be excessively mean to your girl/boylfriend this week. Cook for from the start? Does this mean that Beryl sink? Maybe you could ask your them, get them drunk and give plenty of head to seek forgiveness. she doesn’t really like me? Doesn’t housemates to clear up. Or use tweez- she care what I think? Is it a sign she Dear Beryl, ers to remove said hair clippings takes the relationship as a bit of a I went home at the weekend to visit before placing them in their cereal. joke? Beryl my parents. My young niece and Scorpio nephew were staying there at the Yours in confusion, Stop the pinching! You’re pissing people off! Get a life and grow up. time. The thing is, they’ve got Bill Dear Beryl, Wear green to calm people around you. WORMS!!! I’m worried that I may Is it true you were going to run for have caught it from them. How’s it Dear Bill, president in the election? I’ve heard spread? Is it fatal? What if my friends When I was a young girl I only had a rumour there’s going to be a re- Sagittarius find out? Should I send you a stool one set of draws, and like all our election? Who should I vote for? You’re a love fool. Watch out for the nails. Wear purple nail varnish and sample? clothes in them days, they were grey; Why don’t you run? tight tarten blue pants! This way you may have more chance of getting Fiona so everything matched all the time. Yours, what you want. Dear Fiona, Maybe your girlfriend should wear Ben Worms are generally associated with what’s she comfortable in and you Dear Ben, Victorian times (I remember the days should not be so fussy. On the other Capricorn I did consider running as I felt I fondly) and before, when sanitation hand, a girl should make an effort for Traffic signs show that the hazard sign is up for you this month. could bring serious improvements to was poor and drinking water was her fella; so get a torch, go and find the Union. My manifesto is simple; I often contaminated. It was supposed someone with matching undies. would turn the Union into a giant to have been eradicated from the UK Beryl Aquarius Bingo hall (I love the rattle of those many, many years ago. As I write a Make sure you stretch well this week. Too much stiffness may cause balls), I would make Lawn Bowls helicopter full of men in bubble suits Dear Beryl, embarrassment while you walk. the only sport available, I would only Make like a rubber band and all will be yours are rushing to your house and the My housemates forgot to vote in the let the hairdressers provide blue rins- houses of all your relatives to take Union elections. What should I do es, I would ensure that all men car- you into quarantine. Pisces about this disgusting lack of respect ried combs, everyone would have to You are a PUBLIC HEALTH Many elements combine this week to give your life new focus. A visit to for democracy? wear Paisley, the National Anthem HAZARD. the opticians may the defining moment. Emma would be played before lectures Don’t bother with the stool sample. All will become clear if events proceed as the heavens predict while the students stand and salute. Beryl­­ Dear Emma, VOTE BERYL for an uncommon All students not voting should be sense revolution, Dear Beryl, executed, leaving the remaining ten Beryl I am in desperate need of help or so students free to use all the Email your problems to because my girlfriend is an animal in facilities without having to queue. bed. She is the first person I have Beryl [email protected] slept with and she demands sex 10 times a day. If I do not 'mix it up' for Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 7 Racist Jewish Society? Student How An article from educationet.org Students at Manchester much University Students Union have The university’s Islamic Society voted down a claimed the motion is an attack on MOANS controversial proposal which the Israel’s human rights record rather In a week when thousands of stu- Union of Jewish Students claim than a threat to Jewish students. dents marched on London to call for a could lead to their societies being Al-Khaffaf said; “I understand they for the end to Tuition Fees and the banned from campuses across are concerned, but when it comes to restoration of the Student Grant Britain. Greater Manchester Police human rights we can’t stay silent many my be wondering what all kept ‘low-key’ order on Oxford because we are afraid we are going the fuss is about. At a time when leg? Road outside a union general meet- to be called racist. We are not attack- more students are going to ing fearing that a clash between ing the Jewish people, Jewish stu- University in the UK than at any A student who left a block in Islamic and Jewish students could dents or the existence of the state of Montefiore Hall of Residence by time before some might think the turn ugly. Israel. The motion is solely to do jumping from a canopy roof has to Higher Education sector has never with human rights violations the face a disciplinary fine of 50 Pounds. The motion, which was supported Palestinian people face every day.” had it so good. This is sadly far During a false fire alarm he had the by the Islamic Society and pro- from the truth – a truth of institu- unfortunate attempt to leave the posed by their ex-member and The motion actually got over 50% tions struggling on under-funding building by climbing out of a win- union’s anti-racism officer, of the vote, but failed because part and a student population that is currently participate least in Higher dow in the second floor on the can- Omayma Al-Khaffaf, included a of it contained a revision to the crippled by debts. Education. opy roof. Half slipping, half jump- proposal to ban all ‘Zionist’ organ- Union’s constitution, which meant ing he was falling down and hit the isations on campus which would that a two thirds majority was The student grant was abolished by ground. The result was a broken Students face an uncertain future have forced the disaffiliation of J required to pass the motion. Labour in 1997 and replaced with a wrist which had to be operated in -Soc, labelling it as a ‘racist organ- where a degree is no longer security loan worth £3815 for students out- the hospital. isation’. The motion also called to ‘Azmiat’, the first person to post on on a career and yet they will gradu- side London. Half of all students Normally you should think that a completely de-legitimise the State the MUISOC Message Board was ate with debts of £12,000 or more. couple of days in hospital and much also pay up to £1075 tuition fees. of Israel and could lead to a stu- philosophical. He wrote; Their degrees are suffering due to more time of pain and hassle should Tuition Fees have been shown not dents boycott of Israeli goods, part time work and involvement in be punishment enough. But not the “Today, Manchester Student Union to have increased funding for putting Israel on a par with South extra-curricular activities is falling. university. Cause he was not able to witnessed a great victory - and a Africa thirty years ago. If the Universities, only replacing money explain "why (he) should have great tragedy. The tragedy was that The Welsh and Scottish assemblies motion had passed, the Islamic that once came from central engaged in such an irresponsible yet again, the Palestinian plight has have both made positive first steps Society would be free to label Government and only adding to the and dangerous act, o t h e r been brushed aside to make way for with the re-introduction of targeted Israel’s government and infrastruc- burden on students. than gross stupid- the sensibilities of Zionist Jews who grants. It is now time for Westminster ture racist, without contravening ity" the guy just cannot acknowledge that Israel to wake up to the needs of students the NUS’s no platform stance As figures from the National Union has to pay can be wrong., that its Government in England. against racism. a 5 0 is cruel, unjust, and yes, racist. Can of Students this week show, with a Pound fine we not define treating one race in an full student loan a student is left Hundreds of students from across Stephen Edwards to avoid getting inferior way to another as racism? It with around £29 a week to live on the country queued for hours for S o u t h a m p t o n kicked out of the seems that we can, EXCEPT when after paying rent - £13 less than they the UGM which had to be held in University Students’ hall. we apply this definition to Israel.” would receive on Jobseekers allow- the Manchester Academy as the Union President normal union venue was too small ance. A recent NUS survey found to house all who wished to attend. “And the victory is this - though that 90 percent of students work those of us there who were support- Some wore yellow T-shirts saying part-time with the majority con- ing Palestinians did not see our ‘I’m scared to be Jewish on this vinced that their grades had suffered motion passed, our work has been campus’, with others wearing and a third admitting they had been Palestinian scarves. done. We set out to educate the peo- ple, to encourage independent forced to miss lectures. Daniel Sacker, Manchester Jewish thought and an understanding of the Students chair said: “Many Jewish situation. We shouldn’t feel we have The Government has set itself a students feel threatened and failed - because a majority voting target for increasing the participa- uncomfortable just because they tion in Higher Education from the are Jewish. I, with other committed What are your thoughts on this? current level of 33 per cent to 50 per Jewish students, will be doing eve- e-mail us at [email protected] cent by the end of the decade. They rything in our power to ensure the are destined to fail unless the finan- failure of this flagrant attempt to cial barriers are removed to allow curtail our rights.” access to the poorest families that l A totally new l All gamers on level gaming experience playing field l Up to 16 LAN gam- l Gaming quality and ThanksEDITHGRAY.co.uk you to Edith She brings a substantive , alternative view point and reply to our presidents diary, unfortunately his recent death has curtailed his exploits. (for those ers in-house equality Gray, who are concerned at the loss of the institution, however; we have broken l Competitions over l Relaxed pub atmos- "Usually, this is not much. The first into his house and stolen his diaries from his mourning family, such is the the www phere edition of this thrilling journal can way with tabloid journalism, so next issue should be really exciting. be viewed here [www.wessexscene. co.uk], where you can read about his fun exploits snowboarding, pub- crawling round London, and slag- ging off people who turned up to the NUS regional demo, especially the *** One hour free for first-timers *** Socialists. You may have guessed his political persuasion and social class by now :)" *** Student discounts *** from the intriguing political mind of Edith Gray, her website is at www. edithgray.co.uk The Experience Has Begun ... PAGE 8 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 9 Southampton University Rising Star of Research One result is likely to stand out universities established little more from the Higher Educations than 10 years ago has all but disap- Funding Council for England peared. CASH Assessment of Research Institutions. The University of But those most disappointed by the Southampton emerges with the funding outcomes are likely to be TOP GUNS Money (£Millions) largest research grant increase the former polytechnics. Despite among English academic institu- improvements in their research rat- University of Cambridge 67.8 FOR tions following the results of the ings they have witnessed not only STUDENTS 2001 Research Assessment cuts in general research income, but University College London 66.8 Exercise. also the end of collaborative research funds as well. Those taking the big- University of Oxford 64.9 Not content with more cash from Among the institutions receiving gest hits are the University of HEFCE, Southampton University the largest increases for 2002/03 are Greenwich, the University of Imperial College 60.7 have managed to get £50,000 from large redbrick civics, the research Portsmouth, the University of North the Sutton Trust to help attract Students from disadvantaged back- elite, and some new universities. London, Coventry University and University of Manchester 38.9 And both former polytechnics and Manchester Metropolitan grounds. The charity provides edu- cational opportunities for young older universities are facing large University. King's College London 37.5 cuts. The traditional boundaries that people from non-privileged back- grounds, to support its initiatives to have up to now split old and new Unfortunately Southampton Institute University of Leeds 31 widen participation in higher educa- university sectors are blurring. suffered a cut of 1.5% to add to tion. The University's Widening already considerable financial diffi- The University of Southampton has University of Southampton 31 Access to Medicine project will seen its block research grant increase culties. Remaining fixed firmly receive £10,000. This project aims by £6m, to £31m for 2002/03. close to the bottom of the league University of Sheffield 30.2 to give potential students from less Southampton both improved their table, Southampton Institute will advantaged backgrounds a chance research ratings in the 2001 Research receive around £30,000 (one thou- to experience life as medical stu- University of Birmingham 29.3 Assessment Exercise while main- sandth of the Southampton dents, and to raise their awareness taining a high number of academics University grant) for its research of medicine as a possible career. in the exercise. this year. The grant from the Sutton Trust will be used to run day schools and short With £67.7m, the University of residential conferences. It will also help to set up a mentoring scheme Cambridge boasts the largest through which students who go on research income. But University to study medicine at Southampton College London is not far behind SCENE Two University students will be BOTTOM MoneyFEEDERS (£1000s) will be supported by current stu- this, with £66.7m, deposing Oxford dents and qualified doctors. A fur- facing more than detention after a from second place in the research York St John College 9 ther grant of £40,000 will enable the grant rankings. The funding council student they mugged spotted them University to run a one-week resi- is distributing £940m in total for days later in a football match. The dential summer school for potential 32 research this year - allocated to victim was mugged at knife point students from local FE colleges in more than 100 different academic on the High Street for only a few Southampton July. institutions. quid. Days later the victim spot- Institute ted the two assailants as they 36 In terms of total research grants, De faced each other on opposing Thames Valley Montfort's performance now puts it teams in a football match and the University in spitting distance of some older Police were called. "There’s one 46 universities such as Aston and in every crowd…" Edge Hill College of Keele. The traditional divide Higher Education between the research budgets of the 70 traditional universities and those of IT ALL? University College Worcester PAGE 10 Wessexscene.co.uk WHAT IS MARGARET HODGE JABBERING ON ABOUT?

Its difficult to foresee the minister for Education Learning and Skills producing anything but howlers. StudentMargaret Hodge appears to be gnawing the bone of student debt. With canine ferocity the minister recently, outspokenly attacked stu- dents for having " a ruddy good time at the taxpayer’s expense". When Xavier Smith, a second year teetotal law student was informed she replied to the minister in no uncertain terms "the Bitch - Bollocks", Smith pays £1075 a year in tuition fees and £3600 a year for Haters a house; "the student loan is pocket change; I’m eating my way into my A GOVERNMENT FULL OF second overdraft". It appears that Hodge, the Barking Minister, is giving no money to stu- dents; "Students can expect no more UNIVERSITY GRADUATES, money from the government's review of undergraduate support" she said. "Our ambition is that by 2010 half FULL OF GRANTS, of young adults under the age of 30 should enjoy the opportunity of par- ticipating in higher education", she glibly states. Whilst recently con- firming that she expects large num- AND FISCAL CONFIDENCE, bers of students to work part time.

Ben Jones, an 18 year old Southampton resident said, I can I’ll SPOUT NONSENSE afford to spend three years of my life growing a £20,000 debt. I intend to join the job market as soon as I can". The irony must be that univer- sity graduates pay thousands more IN THE FACE OF BILLIONS in tax than non-graduates, and over the lifetime of the graduate easily cover the expense of a university OF POUNDS life free from debt. The minister is with her comments defending the levels of student debt; which according to the BBC could OF STUDENT DEBT be more than double the £1.8bn owed to the Student Loans Company. Martin Hayward, the Henley Research Centre chairman, said: "We've given the youngest members of society permission to get into debt to get an education... it's no longer a sign of inadequacy." Money management among young adults can consist of shuffling debts from loans to overdrafts to credit cards and back again, making the most of attractive credit offers.

In a spirited defiance five naked students confronted the higher edu- cation minister, Margaret Hodge, outside Oxford University.

Is it our turn to put up a fight? Go to the Wessexscene.co.uk and sign our Margaret Hodge - Barking? pledge to fight the "Barking Minister". Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 11

Forward your responses to [email protected]

KatePress Messer on Students Editorial 21,000 students at the University either. The Southern Daily Echo is of Southampton make up a large invited every year to the Freshers My last issue as WSX editor! But section of the community. But ball, they photograph what they see- I’m sure I’ll be leaving Wessex Students don’t have any responsi- alcoholic student’s being students’ Scene in good hands! This issue bility to the local community they having a wonderful time but in the we touch upon the relationship live in while at university? Surely sober light of day to the regular between students and the com- students aim to cause as much readers of the local paper the photos munity and how this relationship damage as possible while at uni- confirm their in grained prejudices is portrayed by the media (left). versity? Or heaven forbid do stu- of the student community. Israel and Palestine is now a con- dents genuinely care about the Unbalanced images are being creat- tinuous feature in the news, e-mail environment they live in and are ed and the balance needs to be us your opinion on this highly stereotyped by the local commu- redressed. contentious issue. Consider your nity who are looking for a scape- response to the article ‘Apartheid goat? Israel’ (page 8l). We have the But why bother? Why do we need a regular devil’s advocate- that positive image of students? Firstly debates the privatisation of the Ian Murray, editor of Southampton’s for the obvious reasons of trying to NHS and a new feature driving local newspaper ‘The Southern create a more harmonious integrated ambition. Daily Echo’, admits that students community. But secondly Ian don’t receive the most flattering Murray sees the media’s bad public- I would like to thank all you stu- local coverage, the defacing of the ity of students as reflecting the dent’s who ‘bothered’ to vote in ancient butter cross in Winchester in wider problem of student apathy. the union election- you never 1999 becoming an incident in Students are arguably more apa- quite understand the extent of grained as ‘normal’ student behav- thetic today than thier predecessors student apathy unless you’ve tried iour in the local communities mem- in the 1960s and 1970s. Students to get them to do something as ory. Not promoting the image of active as voting! My campaign newspapers need to make money this to sell more papers’. However, today are more pragmatic and real- responsible students who have team were fantastic- thank you. and therefore are targeting a certain he admits that the reactionary nature istic. Ian Murray believes that this is respect for the local community! type of readership but surly they are of the media, including newspapers part of the problem of the way stu- Anything to say about this presenting a bias image against stu- means that his paper is reactive to dents are seen and portrayed in the section- [email protected]. dents? what is happening in the wider com- reactive media and subsequently to The stereo-typical reputation por- munity and often this means news the community. If students want uk trayed of the youth of today by the of a negative student activity in the their voice listened to they only media is often sweeping generalisa- Happy Easter The Ian Murray claims not, ‘It is local community. have themselves to blame they need tions of a alcoholic, drugged up, most defiantly not the aim of the to get back to good publicity. noisy, bus seat snatching, traffic paper to stereotype students and use cone steeling generation. Granted We do not do ourselves any favour Kate Xx 3 Flash By Years- Do something worth talking and writing about Dave Munn case is different but the gist of my do and there are many avenues in involvement is to be there for these which you can explore it, especially It’s 3.30pm on a Wednesday after- kids, I listen to what they have to here at university. Student noon, you don’t have lectures, what say, and work through, trying to Community Action (SCA) is an are you doing? Maybe your watch- resolve any problems or concerns organisation that runs many diverse ing TV? Drinking in the union? they may have. It is quite challeng- voluntary projects, ranging from Sitting in the library attempting to ing at times, but immensely reward- environmental, school mentoring to do some work? ing all the same. It gives me a great working with homeless persons- all At this point in time I’m sitting in a sense of achievement, that I am of which are in need of volunteers. bus, the number 17 to be precise. making a positive difference (maybe As little as two hours a week is all It’s taking me to the Millbrook only a small one) in this person’s that needs to be spared and conse- housing estate; Millbrook where’s life. quently can bring great results, for that? This is one of the many fairly I don’t mean to sound pompous or you and others. If the idea of help- impoverished housing estates that that I’m better than anyone else- ing those in less fortunate positions encircle the city. I’m on my way to I’m not; I just wanted to make the doesn’t solely have great appeal, this place to carry out my role as a point that as students we all have then the impression such voluntary Befriender. I work alongside Social allot of free time on our hands- this work will give to future employers Services on a voluntary, part time is how I choose to spend some of (on your CV) may encourage you. basis with children in Millbrook and my time. I can honestly say, for me If you require any more informa- other places within the local com- it is free time well spent and has tion about voluntary projects, then munity. My role is to build up a made my university life quite com- visit the SCA office on level 1 of relationship with particular children plete. the union or e-mail Ruth French at from families in great need. Each Voluntary work is a great thing to [email protected]. PAGE 12 Wessexscene.co.uk Apartheid Israel

Hudhaifah Shaker However apartheid still continues due to a holiday ..or any other whim This prevented anybody being able civilian, between male and female today as recognised by Desmond of the Jewish minority, there are to legally oppose Israel’s continu- or between child and adult. Even “I am a black South African, and Tutu. Institutionalised racism is the roads for Jews only.. and acts of ing expansion over Palestinian land. now Israel’s ‘retaliatory’ strikes are if I were to change the names, a key essence of the state of Israel, violence occur daily..”. The settle- Also, 92% of the land in Israel is refugee camps which they them- description of what is happening one of the biggest allies of the west. ments in Hebron are few of over owned by the Jewish National Fund selves created and against populated in the Gaza Strip and the West This state, which claims to be the 200 areas in the West Bank where (JNF) and none of the land, by law, civilian areas. Even the present Bank could describe events in only democracy in the region, has Israel has put Jewish immigrants on can be given to anybody who is not Prime Minister, Ariel Sharon, is South Africa” for over 50 years oppressed and Palestinian land and allowed them Jewish, i.e. Christian and Muslim famous for having the blood of over discriminated against the indige- to live there with total disregard for Palestinians. The JNF also has the 2,000 refugees on his hands. nous Palestinian people. The the original owners of the land. right to demolish Palestinian homes The above quote comes from none Palestinians have been treated by Refugee camps in Palestine, Jordan (which it does) if deems it neces- But perhaps the biggest reason why other than Archbishop Desmond the Jewish occupiers similar to (and and Lebanon are full of the children sary to allow the building of Jewish Israel can do what it does, is per- Tutu who was comparing Israel to some say worse than) the non- and grandchildren of people who homes or settlements. And its not mission from the rest of the world. the then (1989) apartheid South whites were treated by the Afrikaans had their land taken from them and only land that is the problem in The international community have Africa. He spent many years fight- of South Africa. given to people who were born Israel. Like apartheid South Africa, given Israel the free hand to do ing the racist regime of South Africa thousands of miles from Palestine. every aspect of life is a lot easier if what it wants. And not only that, where the white colonialists minor- From Amnesty to Human Rights The settlements and the continuing you are Jewish than if you’re not. some supply them with money, ity dominated and oppressed the Watch, all neutrals will tell you that influx of Jewish people into Israel is Discrimination on the grounds of weapons and all the political sup- non-white majority. Laws were in Israel if you are not Jewish you one example of the blatant racism race occurs for jobs, housing, edu- port they need. They choose to look passed which allowed racism by the are treated as a third class citizen. that goes in Israel. In 1950 the first cation and even simple things such away as Israel kills yet another white Dutch ruling party (known as Politically, economically and social- law was passed which made it offi- as obtaining water. child and suppresses a people who Afrikaans) to become official and ly there is an underclass in Israel cial that Israel will discriminate on have every right to rebel against institutionalised. Race laws touched and it consists only of Palestinians. the ground of race. The Law of The question is how has Israel their occupiers. The solution to the every aspect of life from economic Last year Gideon Levy, a Jewish return gave every person who was managed to implement such racism problem in the Middle East can be to social. Non-whites were not reporter for the daily Israeli paper Jewish the right to come to Israel and get away with it? In the 21st argued for hours on end, but the allowed to marry whites and it was Ha’aretz, wrote an article on the and reside there. This law gave century where the fight for human first stage in any solution is recog- legal to display ‘white-only’ when discrimination that he saw in more rights to a Jew born in Russia rights is bigger than ever before, nition of the problem. Apartheid advertising for jobs. For over 40 Hebron, a city in the occupied areas or the USA than an Arab whose how has Israel managed to deny South Africa was overcome because years the Blacks, Asians and the of the West Bank. In the article he family had lived in Palestine for them to a people on the basis that the West reluctantly recognised the rest of the non-white population states “We thought about visiting centuries. The Jews were given the they are not Jewish? Firstly using problem and acted and it is time for were separated from and oppressed Hebron because we thought about land that was inhabited by the Arabs violence. Since its creation Israel them to recognise the apartheid that by the ruling whites despite great apartheid. No other place in the who were seen as an obstruction to has always found that the easiest goes on in Israel and act. Being national and international pressure. occupied territories can better illus- the creation of a Jewish state. Many solution to the Palestinian problem anti-apartheid South Africa does not Eventually the pressures against trate the brutal essence of the Israeli other laws passed by the govern- is by their extermination. Massacres make you anti-white, and being this tyranny and racism rose so occupation and the local version of ment are also entrenched in racism. are documented throughout Israel’s anti-apartheid Israel does not make much that sanctions were put apartheid...a tiny minority of about For example in 1985 a law was history; from 1948 until the present you anti-Jewish. I am certainly not against South Africa and the racist 400..controls a huge majority of passed banning any political party Intifada the Israeli army is wilfully anti-Jewish but I am anti-Israel until laws were eventually repealed in 140,000 residents...Palestinians are which did not recognise Israel as killing all that get in the way of its they change their apartheid regime. 1991. subjected to curfews and closures the ‘state of the Jewish people’. colonial expansion and not dis- criminating between military and 30TH OCTOBER 2001

Stop that monkey business... March 22nd 2002

Finally...the brick award winners in full!

Cornershop and spiritualized dish the dirt for the edge in exclusive inter- views

‘24 hour party peo- ple’: steve coogan’s brilliant new film brown in town IAN BROWN AT THE GUILDHALL

Oscars Preview•Elizabeth Wurtzel •Breaking News about Paradox •NME awards • 22nd March 2002 Welcome to... The EDGE The needs YOU THE NEWS... EDGE If you have a passion for with EDGE hound Paul Cornwell Wes Scantlin, vocalist with Asher D is spending time awaiting about it, because if I did, you TOP Puddle of Mudd, was arrested sentence in Feltham Young wouldn’t want me back here (in music or film and think you recently as part of an investigation Offenders And Remand Centre in the US) next time.” into alleged domestic violence. west London. It is the biggest young offender’s prison in Europe, According to US press reports King of hip-hop, DJ Shadow, is housing over 900 inmates, and can write about it, if you Scantlin and his fiancee Michelle apparently absolutely gagging to 10 was described in the 1999 report Rubin were both arrested in work with Radiohead on any new as being “rotten to the core”. California on Sunday 10 March. material they write. Speaking Possession of a prohibited firearm like the sound of free CDs, Witnesses claimed that they saw a ahead of the release of his long Songs for the carries a maximum jail term of ten man forcing a woman into a Jeep awaited second solo album. years. Not so Bling eh Ashley? Cherokee, driven by a third party The super producer - real name free entry to gigs, and the at the side of nearby Highway Josh Davis said of working with Ali G film 126. The Jeep was consequently New single from Blur? Definitely Radiohead “That would be amaz- pulled over by the police and the maybe. Damon, who has been on ing if they did ask me to work on fame and glory that comes couple were arrested for investi- tour across North America with something. They routinely ask me 1. Staines Ghetto gation of domestic violence. Both Gorillaz throughout March, is to tour with them, but the timing were granted bail of $20,000 from planing on regrouping Blur in always seems to be wrong [DJ Superstar - Pras with writing for the EDGE, the Ventura County Jail in Filmore. March to complete their new Shadow toured with the band in Wes and Michelle will not be album. Approximately 14 songs 1997]. Hopefully they haven’t charged however. have been recorded already and given up on me yet beacause I’d 2. Original Gangster - contact us now to let us one in particular - ‘Don’t Bomb really like to do something with Asher D, disgraced and jailed So When You Are A Bomb’ - could be them. I’m an unequivocal fan of The Offspring Solid Crew member, faces prison a single. Albarn was reluctant to that group.” Shadow releases new know. You know you want conditions described in a recent comment to MTV news about the album ‘Private Press’ on May 27. report as “totally unacceptable in content of his future lyrics or the 3. Da Matthew Arnold a civilised country”. After pleading bands possible direction in the Skool’s Out - to. guilty to a gun possession charge future “I can’t really say anything Alice Cooper Letter from an angry reader! Our favourite 4. Aight Am The Mob - [email protected] kind! Competition! Catatonia Hi there, to say things like ‘hit me baby one The edge and the lovely Just saw your latest publication. more time’.No disrespect to your people at cool delta have I’m interested in joining your team so-called ‘freat artists, but what if i got together to offer you 5. Bling of Fire - of music critics and would like to told you that Robbie Williams was a fantastic comp. We have Johnny Cash THE EDGE TEAM apply via the proper means. My shit or that Limp Bizkit was just copies of David Holmes’ main reason for wanting to join ridiculous noise? A few issues ago forthcoming album ‘come Editor: Emmanuelle Smith your team apart from my love for there was a review of both Jay-z’s get it i got it’ to give away Assistant Editor: Paul Cornwell 6. West Side Girls - music, is that some of your reviews and Ludacris’ latest works and to two lucky readers. Dance: Charlotte Devalda have been,politely speaking inac- someone had the nerve to call just send the answer to Pet Shop Boys Film: Tim Houghton curate. I am referring especially to Ludacris’ work ‘muthafuckin’ piece the following question to Reviews Ed: Rich Heap your reviews on certain hip-hop of crap’. That clown should have the edge e-mail address: and r’n’b records.To say the least it been honest and said I don’t What is the name of the 7. Drive-By In My Car - With: Satwant Phander, Georgi is quite obvious that whoever understand the southern accent. latest film David holmes does these reviews has no idea Vaughn, Nina Dubravec, Darren Jay-z is a living legend with six has made the soundtrack Madness what so ever what this genre of classic albums and you said he’s Pickering,Simon Foster, James to? music entails. alright.You guys need to get your Hayward, Alex Cooke, Paul Cairn, Taking the latest reviews for act together.If you don’t know 8. Sexual Dealing - Chris Bienemann, Mark Hanna, example, how dare u call R-Kelly a what to say get someone who Ross Melville, Russell Wood, Jo ‘crap- does or don’t say nothing at all. Marvin Gaye Clarke, Stacy Yelland, Guy peddler’. Do u know what that Cos if I had to review the Strokes Williamson, Niall McAuliffe, Alex means? This is a man who has or whatever I would call them Mattinson, Gareth Atkinson, Rob been a driving force in r’n’b for average.Don’t base your judge- 9. I’m Only Happy Barbour, Joley Dickson, Graeme almost six years. Four back-to- ments on radio 1 ratings. When It’s Staines - Robertson, Richard Eden, Tristan back multi-platinum I don’t mean to sound harsh but Hunt, DJ Break, Jonathan Curtis- albums,endless awards and count- this is the reality of the situation. Garbage less writing and production cred- Also i think it will be nice to Brignell, Guy Hiscott, John its and you dare to call him a crap- increase the no of genres you McKenna, Chris Weekes, Alex peddler. I will have you know that review and not just those who r on 10. Anything by Three Dismore, Paul Jones Montell Jordan is not crap. He has top of the pops! supplied an endless list of hits. Dog Night (have you The Edge What did you find wrong with his Err..Radio 1? Top of the Pops? S.U.S.U new album? He said ‘ooh-baby’ FREAT artists?? Whatever... Anyway, seen the previews?) Highfield one too many times? Do you lis- welcome aboard. The job of crap Southampton ten to music or do you just scheme CD reviewer is yours. Ooops...did I S017 1BJ to it? Do you try and find out what say crap? I meant ‘living legends’. he is saying or you just want him (Ed) tel: 023 805955230 PAGE 2 22nd March 2002 30TH THE FUTURE SOUND OF SOUTHAMPTON? It has been exclusively revealed to remain anonymous described the and ground the evening to a halt. the EDGE that the Guildhall will scene as being rather ugly with Grooverider retaliated by throwing now no longer hold drum ‘n’ bass security wandering around cov- a bin across the decks at the danc- events. The last d&b event in the ered in blood after trying to break er. She was struck by the bin but Guildhall was H2O on 19 March, up and disperse some of the fights. consequently picked it up, threw it no more events of this nature will It was noted by some of these back and then ran off in tears. She be allowed after a decision was sources that the crowd were made later contacted the police and filed made by Guildhall Ents. up of a considerable amount of charges against him. It is believed The decision came in the wake of ‘townies’ who were there with the that these charges were for ABH, the last Paradox to be held there soul purpose in mind of causing which were later upgraded to GBH on 16/02/02 where a spate of trouble. due to the fact that the bin had cut fights broke out and an incident It is widely known that the odd her. involving one of the DJs, Radio fight does break out sometimes, It is believed that is was this which One’s Grooverider, and a dancer. but the scale of the violence had first attracted the Guildhall’s man- So what I hear you cry? For the never before been seen in the agement at looking at the event, huge big name line-up’s that we’ve Guildhall. It wasn’t this however, due to the serious charges brought been used in recent times here in that initially led the Guildhall man- against Grooverider within the Southampton such as Andy C, agement to taking a closer look at Guildhall. Both Grooverider and Hype, Bad Company and Optical the state of things at the event. the Guildhall have said that it all on one bill, a large venue is The main incident of the night wasn’t entirely Paradox’s fault how- needed. The Guildhall is the larg- occurred when a dancer, who has ever. Paradox directly employ the est venue we have. Smaller venue, been declared unprofessional by dancers. less tickets, less money, less acts some who were there, put her foot So who is to blame? That is a dif- simple as that. on the table which the decks were ficult one that I leave for you to The event descended into a on. In case you don’t realise, this decide. Certainly the element that shambles when the security failed action could easily lead to the nee- go to these events to cause fights. to control the crowd and several dle jumping on the record and But I had already raised this issue fights broke out around the ruining the flow of the DJ’s set. with Paradox and Anil Sood assured Guildhall, including one in one of An exchange then occurred me that no such thing occurred the bars that was so large that the between Grooverider and the and told me to stop being so detri- bar had to be shut down for a dancer which led to the dancer mental to the drum ‘n’ bass scene period to clear up the mess and throwing a pint of beer across the in Southampton. Anyone for bury- damage. decks at Grooverider - a reaction ing their head in the sand? Information revealed to the EDGE which could have caused a lot of by inside sources who wish to damage to the decks and the mixer

PAGE 3 22nd March 2002 SINGLES ALBUMS ALBUMS ALCAZAR Casino (BMG Music)

Imagine a meeting in Alcazar HQ. Andreas Lundstedt says (in a very tight pair of trousers), “Okay girls, listen up. Last Friday I went to a Southampton Uni Student Union event... I think it was called Poundstretcher, but that doesn’t matter because it’s given me a SUGARCOMA to make any of the Papa Park- great idea for an album. Let’s distil (You Drive Me) Crazy style ‘metal’ bands go running all of its most loathsome elements (Music For Nations) back to their 12-year-old Street onto one album.” Teamers, U.F.G.’s simplistic ace- “Well what do you mean?” asks the This is a truly inspired track! If you ness - quiet verse, passionate blonde one. thought the title looked a bit chorus, cool harmonies - betrays “Think about it. Take the violin familiar then you’d be right: this is frontman Walter Schriefels’ past intros and the piano bits of all ‘70s a somewhat comic, maybe even in seminal hardcore group disco songs, some Steps vocals, a satirical, cover of Britney’s pop Quicksand. Rad. Go buy. few ‘80s pop beats, some boy tune. It has to be said that musi- band/Enrique Iglesias vocals, some cally speaking this version is not 7/10 electronic bits like on that Cher RB song, a bit of (that tosspiece) Ricky particularly good, but it is warm and moving electronica. been dubbed ‘The Nu-Blues’. Martin, some Human League sam- extremely funny. Sugarcoma Comparable in sound to Boards of Certainly some of the artists con- ples and...” sound young and a touch imma- Canada, Mouse on Mars, Fridge, tained within this compilation CUSTOM BLUE “But Andreas,” interrupts the wavy- ture because they are young (and and Dntel, Sybarite sets himself have their roots in the blues but So Low haired brunette one, “Won’t that I would hazard a guess that they apart from accusations of mere this, sadly, doesn’t necessarily (Universal Islands Records) sound shit?” are a touch immature too). imitation with an ear for a beguil- guarantee their quality. One of the “No, because we’re going to make Their youth is evident on the ing melody and an ability to mix biggest disappointments is the What with terrorism, debt, and it all sound vaguely cool. We’re B-sides from the lyrical content organic texture (acoustic guitars, appearance of Chris Thomas King the thought that the So Solid going to make the record that with the general age-old anti- woodwind, strings etc.) with deftly who played the legendary Tommy Crew might shoot you and then Steps never made because they establishment message of ‘It’s all orchestrated digital material. Bjork Johnson in the Coen Brothers film assault your 15-year-old sister, I were never cool enough. It’s going bullshit’ and ‘I’m sick of the shit is numbered among Sybarite’s O Brother, Where Art Thou? Failing imagine you find it hard to relax. to be pure ‘70s. I can see it now... you speak’ that makes me wonder fans. Need I say any more? to live up to the quality of Johnson’s Admit it, you have trouble just this is going to be the record they if their aggression is real and their spine-tingling recordings, King doing nothing. Well this should play to pissed English people in lyrics a bit dull or if they’re just a 8/10 produces a dull blues-rap crosso- do the trick as bubbling sounds, Spanish holiday resorts, and they’ll happy, well-adjusted bunch of JCB ver which rather unfortunately soothing bassline, and gentle dance because they’re all pissed! kids. brings Limp Bizkit to mind. To its strumming of an acoustic guitar This will be my defining moment. HALIFAX PIER credit, however, Bailing The Jack will massage your temples and This will add me to the pantheon 10/10 Put Your Gloves On And Wave does throw up a few overlooked make you feel like just drifting off of great Swedish musicians... (car- GA (Temporary Residence ltd.) gems such as Alan Lomax’s 1940 into your own little world (a feel- ries on hysterically).” field recording of the blues stand- ing not spoiled by Paul Weller-ish Well if that was the aim then LONGWAVE Put Your Gloves On and Wave is the ard Road Song and Diamanda vocals.) The perfect soundtrack they’ve succeeded, but that doesn’t Exit sophomore effort from Louisville, Galas’ version of See That My Grave for basking in the summer sun. make it anything more than a (Hummer Recordings) KY’s Halifax Pier. Mixing intricate Is Kept Clean, as well as some much Tantastic. slightly-better-than-average disco acoustic guitars with a driving loved classics from Beefheart and rip-off. The slightly distorted vocals, trac- string section, they project touch- Nick Cave. The exclusion of the late 8/10 es of feedback, and pounding ing stories of loss and love, repre- great Rainer Ptacek, however, is RH 6/10 drum beat all make it easy to see senting a meandering blend of inexcusable. RH why they’ve recently had support gothic, Nick Drake inspired folk slots with The Strokes and B.R.M.C. and backwoods chamber music. 5/10 OASIS SYBARITE It’s a good moody song that could Comparable to a less twee Belle TH The Hindu Times Placement Issues only be made better with more and Sebastian, there are also pre- (Big Brother) (Temporary Residence ltd.) distortion, more feedback, louder dominant echoes of Low and BOARDS OF CANADA guitars and louder drums. Bonny Billy in their sound, with Geogaddi First single off the forthcoming Following from the success of last Definitely on the right lines, hushed vocals (both male and (Warp Records) album and it’s a promising start, year’s soundtrack album, music- though, and seems more forward female), cleanly picked guitars, definitely one of those songs that forafilm, Xian Hawkins (aka thinking than most of the 70’s beautiful string arrangements, and Beautifully packaged (mine came will grow on you. It’s just a catchy Sybarite) found himself inundated punk and retro revival. a general sense of melancholy. in a limited edition, hard-cover tune with Liam’s vocals doing the with offers to record for a variety of N.B. this album will be tricky to get “book” format!!), this is the second rest, like all classic Oasis tracks labels. Placement Issues repre- 7/10 hold of in the U.K, so your best bet is to “proper” full-length album from really. Good enough to appeal to sents a collection of all of his previ- RH go to www.temporaryresidence.com Warp Records favourites Boards of more than just those still mad for ous singles, together with some Canada (aka Scottish duo Michael it fans stuck in Britpop who failed new tracks, into one cohesive RIVAL SCHOOLS 8/10 Sandison and Marcus Eoin). to realise there last two albums whole. Culled from a variety of Used For Glue JCB Previous work, Music Has The Right were actually really shit (but then sources, all tracks on this album are (Mercury) To Children, and In a Beautiful again so were the B*** albums now out of print. Do not be put-off VARIOUS Place Out in the Country, has been and people still bought them). by this album being a collection of A stand-out track from New York Bailing The Jack: The Birth of the critically lauded; so much expecta- More of the same please Oasis, singles, however: it flows beauti- foursome Rival Schools début Nu-Blues tion was placed on the long-await- just don’t let Liam write any of fully thanks to Sybarite’s ear for album United By Fate, Used For (OCHO) ed Geogaddi. Thankfully, Boards the songs. intimate production. Connecting Glue is a slab of ‘emo-core’ (or of Canada once again deliver. the pieces together like a giant whatever) genius, and an obvious The 24 tracks on this record consti- Whilst not exactly breaking any 7.5/10 jigsaw puzzle, he draws from folk, choice for first single. Based tute a vaguely enjoyable trek new ground here, there is enough AD rock, jazz and dance influences to around a one-note riff big enough through what has rather tenuously distortion of their signature ele- generate down-tempo, organic, PAGE4 30TH 22nd March 2002 ALBUMS ments for them to remain fresh and exciting; and with signature elements as good as those pos- sessed by Boards of Canada, who would bother changing? They enjoy playing with their fans - mel- odies and sections from previous works pervade the texture of Geogaddi, whilst always being ren- dered almost unrecognisable by BUY THIS! THE APPLESEED CAST length, twenty-six beautifully OrElse...runs seamlessly into the next, cre- tiful packageing and poignant, the arrangements. The beats are orchestrated songs appear on two ating a soundscape whereby always percussive and the bass Low Level Owl: Volumes I & II personal lyrics: “And we could separately released volumes of “proper” vocal-led tracks are inter- warm - all in all this is electronica at (Deep Elm Records) hold hands/Bring back the sea/ lush melody, expertly paced connected by atmospheric and its best. If I were to make one criti- And we could stand up/We dynamics and haunting atmos- deeply moving interludes. Volume cism of this album, it would be that The Appleseed Cast are based in could believe.” This is so-called pherics. Released separately, I II begins where Volume I leaves off, none of the tracks are quite as Lawrence, Kansas and have headphone music at its very have reviewed the two albums the cinematic ending to the aptly memorable or as catchy as any- been together for about 5 years. best. Experimentation with together because that is how they named View of a Burning City. (If thing from the EP In a Beautiful Their previous two albums, End loops, echoes, instrumentation, should be conceived: as one work. pushed, I would state that Volume Place Out in the Country. Having of the Ring Wars, and Mare inverting tape, and changing Building on their emo and post- I is perhaps slightly louder and said that, both Music is Math and Vitalis, both on excellent inde- speeds has shown how a band hardcore roots, The Appleseed more “emo” in nature whilst vol- 1969, are visceral and exquisitely pendent emo label Deep Elm can truly find a voice to call Cast have taken influence from ume II is more laid back, gentle, well made. Geogaddi is a beautiful, Records, had built up a cult fol- their own. Breathtaking. post-rock, electronica, and “Pink and post-rock influenced, yet as dense, elusive and ultimately lowing in the underground emo Floyd and Led Zeppelin” (accord- previously mentioned, the two rewarding album, and is set apart scene, but with this new work 10/10 ing to themselves) to create an need to be listened to concurrent- from its competitors by never there is something extra going JCB album unlike any other. Each track ly). Both albums also feature beau- doing quite what the listener is on: nearly two hours in total expecting. Gone is any pastoral simplicity and naïve wonder that Boards of Canada may once have had; instead the listener receives electronica that is dark in both ter- ritory and imagery and warrants close listening.

9/10 JCB

BIRCHVILLE CAT MOTEL We Count These Prayers (Corpus Hermeticum)

Birchville Cat Motel is essentially the collaboration between Flying fantastically titled two minute us their fourth album Steal This the work of New Zealander Saucer Attack and Tele:Funken anthems, such as Lightsabre Record. The album kicks off with AURORA Campbell Kneale, whose output so from a few years back, but whereas Cocksucking Blues, To Hell With The Killing Blow, which is probably Aurora far has been limited to small quan- that album tends to leave one cold, Good Intentions, Alan Is A Cowboy the best on the album. From then (Strictly Rhythm) tities of cassettes, vinyls and CD-Rs We Count These Prayers burns with Killer and No New Wave No Fun. on, Dan Lukacinsky’s thrashy gui- released through independent such ferocity that it threatens to And who could forget The World tar just gets samey and a little tad If you were wondering what has labels such as ‘Betley Welcomes incinerate the room. Loves dull. There is however, a nice ska happened to the Corrs recently Careful Drivers’ and Kneales own Us And Is Our Bitch? The three- interlude in the shape of Stand Up (wasn’t everyone?) then here is ‘Celebrate PSI phenomenon’. 9/10 some mix sloganeering (In the which all very good but just doesn’t your answer. Aurora snuck into the Although this release on Corpus TH midst of all the killing and skineat- seem to fit in with the rest of the sisters’ incestuous lesbian love nest Hermeticum may do little to raise ing we forgot the loving) with real rawk sound. in the dead of night and stole all of BCMs profile it is certainly more MCLUSKY lyrical intelligence, an arsenal of Their attempt at covering It’s The their new songs. And then the widely available. mclusky do dallas succinct profanities (All of your End of the World as We Know It cheeky bastards put them onto We Count These Prayers is a vast (Too Pure) friends are cunts...), and Ian Dury- (And I Feel Fine) is probably anoth- this album. Okay, so they’ve got a expanse which literally sprawls esque wit (...and your mother is a er highlight of the album but most spaced-out beat behind them, but across the its 64 minute running “Secret fuhrers got your tongue ballpoint pen thief) Trust me, you likely only because it’s familiar, and the Corrs did that when they time, and despite being devoid for and bitches got your car, and if it have the money to spend on this really if they had to regurgitate rejected their Irish roots and want- the most part of both rhythm or wasn’t for the ‘86 World Cup it regardless of how debt-ridden you someone else’s work, they could ed to actually sell records. tune, it is packed with an intensity wouldn’t have got this far.” I didn’t are... it’ll be an investment in youth- have chosen a tune more suited to Okay, so that’s slightly unfair to that engulfs the listener. Each of realise that people ful rip-it-down idealism and party- their punk-rock norm. Aurora; they haven’t just nicked the five tracks contained within still wrote lyrics like this, but if till-you-puke exuberance. Jason Navarro is quoted as describ- Corrs songs. Your Mistake sounds creates a stasis in which thousands you’d grown up amongst a race of Hopefully the world will be their ing Steal This Record as “...the best- like Natalie Imbruglia, The Day It of buzzing frequencies dance like whining, rain-sodden sheep moles- bitch very soon. sounding record we’ve ever done.” Rained Forever sounds like a light- trapped fireflies across the surface tors you’d be pissed off too. mclusky All I can say is I hope I never have weight Ultra Nate, and If You Could of the speakers. Emphasis shifts (from Cardiff) are here and ready 9/10 to sit through the previous works Read My Mind sounds like the bal- interminably from the fundamen- to insert an entire fireworks display RH of art... ladeering of one of those 80’s sta- tals to the harmonics and back into Kelly Jones’ rectum with this, To avoid the intense urge to cry dium-filling divas... perhaps Barbra again, recalling the high volume an album which must rival The after spending those precious last Streisand. Lizzy Pattinson does drone music of La Monte Young Hives for the Best Short Album of THE SUICIDE MACHINES pennies on this rather effective have a crystal voice, and the acous- and Phil Niblock, as BCM tap into 2002 (all crammed into just 36 Steal This Record Frisbee, do as they say. Steal This tic guitars and violins aren’t offen- the hidden timbres of the guitar/ minutes.) (Hollywood Records) Record. sive per se. In fact they’re as inof- amp combo as well as reed instru- And, as you might expect, mclusky fensive as the British Airways ments and chimes. do dallas is packed with thrashy After ten years in the music busi- 4/10 adverts that inspired them. More recently this album recalls punk rock, and a whole host of ness, The Suicide Machines bring CW Don’t expect anything new, but

PAGE 5 22nd March 2002 ALBUMS and 70s funk and R’n’B under the folksy-wolksy musical journey. guise of Free Association (Holmes’ However, all the songs are pretty new project). The jazzy, bluesy feel samey so don’t expect ground- to this record will make you think breaking experimental music or you’re in New York in the 70s, and anything. more importantly, it will make you want to get up and dance. After 6/10 the widespread success of 2000’s ES Bow Down To The Exit Sign and the CAPITOL K soundtracks to Out of Sight and FRED FRITH AND NOEL AKCHOTE Island Row Ocean’s 11, David Holmes has now Reel (XL) proved he can do it all with the (Rectangle) ultimate mix album. Those of you who follow elec- Guitarist Fred Frith first made tronica will notice that Capitol 7/10 waves in the British underground K has already released an ES rock community in the late sixties album under the same name. with the fiercely political Henry This is essentially the same ALFIE Cow. Following their eventual dis- album reworked - still as good A Word In Your Ear solution Frith moved even further now as it was then, maybe (Twisted Nerve) from the rock mainstream through even better. improvised solo albums in which Alfie, a Lancastrian five-piece he developed various techniques 7/10 LE FLY PAN AM Dark Star, Puressence and the Beta armed with a French Horn and a of modifying his guitar. He also TH Ceux Qui Inventent N’ont Jamais Band are just three of the bands cello, fervently claim they are punk. partook in collaborations with the Vecu (?) I’ve put the kiss of death on with Now I think they sound more like likes of avant-jazz heroes John (Constellation) my misguided “Biggest Band In badly Drawn Boy than Minor Zorn and Bill Laswell. CYCLEFLY The World” predictions. But if Threat, but who am I to disagree? On this mini-album, avail- Crave After their stunning eponymous there’s one band I picked right Their singer Lee Gorton claims they able only on 10”, Frith teams up (M.C.A.) debut in 99 and follow up 12” in from the start, it’s Gomez. Back at are punk because they ‘do what with Rectangle Label boss and fel- 2000, Fly Pan Am (or Le Fly Pan Am Glastonbury ‘98 when dullards they want’ and ‘don’t sound like low guitarist Noel Akchote to wield Decent metal, with an acous- as they seem to have renamed such as Blur and Pulp were set to anyone else.’ Whatever. It sounds a fascinating array of sounds. The tic edge sharper than many themselves!) return with a second be headlining, I turned out at 11 ‘o’ good anyway. I first saw Alfie live a metallic scrapes and distorted spit- of its counterparts, and full length. Ceux Qui Inventent clock a.m. in the heaving mud to couple of years ago when they had tles of sound occasionally give way good... if you like that kind of N’ont Jamais Vecu literally means witness the greatest performance a minor slot at All Tomorrow’s to bizzarely constructed industrial thing. ‘those who invent have never lived’, of the weekend. Taking the main Parties and I was immediately rythms, but for the most part Frith and the track titles, also in French, stage only because of a last minute drawn in by their undeniable and Akchote limit themselves to 7/10 are no less intriguing: Jeunesse cancellation (they also later played charm and on stage presence. Two probing away at each others musi- RH Sonique, Tu Dors (En Cage) means the New Bands Tent) Gomez years down the line, and this trans- cal bodies until the guts come ‘Sonic youth, you are sleeping (in a appeared in wellies and cagoules lates well onto record. A Word In spilling out. DEL AMITRI cage)’; and Rompre L’indifference and proceeded to blow the tiny Your Ear is a brief but enjoyable Can You Do Me Good? De L’Inexitable Avant que L’on crowd away. (Mercury) Vienne Rompre le Sommeil de One year, one album and one L’inanime means ‘Break the indif- Mercury Music prize later Gomez Half-decent if a little dull and ference of the unexitable before were back at Glastonbury, this time drawn out towards the end, we come to break the sleep of the headlining the second stage, and like water torture with an inanimate’. The message of this Demo-lition were already well on the way to acoustic guitar. Not bad, album is clear: stand up and live. becoming tedious. With the release THE FUZZ EFFECT though the phrase ‘one-trick Which is all very well, but I’m quite of third album In Our Gun Gomez The Fuzz Effect pony’ comes to mind. happy sitting listening to this display an empty dried-up well of thanks. ideas. While debut Bring It On The fuzz effect are a very inter- 5/10 The music is fragmented, stitchy overflows with charisma which esting and exciting band who together, very professional and RH and unpredictable. You know, the justifies even the cheesiest harmo- are certainly pointing at one of fundamentally, it’s catchy. kind that your parents claim isn’t nising, In Our Gun is a dirge of ill- the directions out of the stag- Second song ‘Cool As A ALEX LLOYD music at all... But we know it is. thought out nant quagmire that guitar Cucumber’ bears traces of punk, Watching Angels Mend What kind of music is another electronics and guitar, relieved based music has been in for the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, the (EMI:Chrysalis) question altogether. Fly Pan Am only by the title track, a bland some time now. They’ve been Happy Mondays and some seem to defy classification- fusing melodic song which is the most together in various guises since wouldn’t exist had Joy Division A lo-fi natural progression funk, instrumental rock (post- listenable thing on here. Hopefully 1997 and have been gigging, not left their mark on the world. from his acclaimed 2000 rock?), and electronica to create a the inevitable poor sales of this mainly in the Cardiff/Newport There is some pretty crazy synth offering Black the Sun. sublime aural collage. album will inspire Gomez to recon- area, since December of that sketch-outs to keep it interest- Country tinged, emotive Oh, and don’t be fooled into think- sider their current direction. year. songs that see him placed in ing your CD player is broken or the ing as well. They’ve been in their current The final song, ‘Daytime TV’, the singer/song writer brack- record is scratched. It’s supposed 2/10 form ever since the start of displays the traits of one of their et, probably a bit too high- to sound like that. TH 2000 and thus have had a rea- admitted influences, Blur, circa brow and detached for most sonable amount of time to ‘Parklife’ due to some of the people’s tastes. Likened to 8/10 DAVID HOLMES hone their skills into the awe vocals and guitar riffs. This isn’t Beck and Elliot Smith he ES Come Get It I Got It- Introducing need. The first song, ‘No Disco in a rubbish retro Britpop way draws some influences from Free Association Please (We’re British)’ is remi- either. the likes of Radiohead, Talk (13 Amp) niscent of early Clinic due to Talk and Turin Brakes but fails GOMEZ The Fuzz Effect are good. I only the guitar riff. It’s got ska horns hope they can get a driving to reach any of their highs. In Our Gun This first release on Belfast-born and a funky rhythm and some licence between them and get Pleasant enough though. (Hut) DJ David Holmes’ very own label funk soul brother wah-wah on some sort of a national tour. ‘13 Amp’ bodes well for the future break downs. Oh, and some It’d be nice to see them live. 6/10 When it comes to picking bands of the mix album. Come Get It I got nice hand claps at the start. It’s PC for future fame and fortune my It is a euphoric combination of 60s well put track record isn’t exactly glowing. 8/10 PAGE 6 30TH 22nd March 2002 Raj against the machine

The Edge talk to Cornershop’s Ben Ayers Do you remember Cornershop? and The Beta Band, both welcome One notable difference on to see how long we could get it, And what don’t you like? They’re the ‘one-hit wonders’ that additions to the music scene since Handcream... is the number of col- but the longest we could have “Well anything that’s been put made it big in ‘98 with Norman ‘Brimful of Asha’, but whose inno- laborations- US Soul star Otis Clay, done was an hour, so we looked together by companies. I mean, it’s Cook’s remix of Brimful of Asha. vative sound stifles widespread for example, on the album’s open- for other ways and that’s where all too money-driven, but it’s not Well they’re back with their latest popularity and commercial suc- er Heavy Soup, and the original the idea of streaming it live on the just kid-processed stuff. In fact it’s genre-straddling offering, cess. Cornershop’s last album Oasis bassist Paul McGuigan on Internet came from. It took a hell probably not as bad for kids, but Handcream for a Generation. It’s When I Was Born For The 7th Time, recent single Lessons Learned of a lot of stamina!” for everyone else... it’s insulting to fuck all use on eczema but does however, successfully combined From Rocky I to Rocky III. And Well you can’t say that they’ve their signal Ben and Tjinder’s return to creativity with stunning commer- then, of course, there’s Noel been idle since disappearing, hav- intelligence. Lots of people have the visible music scene and, after ciality, so did they feel pressure to Gallagher, so what was it like work- ing also made a contribution forgotten how to be cool.” Clinton (their project which failed follow it up? ing with him? (Returning From The Wreckage) to Fred Durst? to capture the public’s imagination “No, not really. We successfully “It was good. We toured with Oasis the ‘Village Voice’ charity LP for the “Yeah, I’m not a fan. It just seems in ‘99), Ben is relishing a return to didn’t think about it and it’s come in ‘98 and got on really well. And New York attacks. That’s not the like bad music involving fashion.” the public ear... out better than we expected. The we also worked with him on a only reason to talk about New So there you go. Cornershop is “We were excited about picking sound on it’s really moving for- track for the Clinton album but York, though. What about NME’s open for business once again, but our guitars again after Clinton,” he ward.” never got that finished.” favourite five retro punks (The if you still think they’re a one-hit said, “and we were listening to a lot So was recording it any different? Finding Gallagher’s contribution Strokes)? wonder, here’s Ben’s special mes- of reggae, and the X-ecutioners, “Well we began recording in to the album shouldn’t present “Yeah, they’re pretty good. They sage: when we were working on this Preston like last time, and finished much of an obstacle; it’s on the seem to have a bit of attitude, but “Go and check out our stuff and album, so they’ve probably influ- in Eastcote. We had Rob Swift (of 14-minute epic Spectral Mornings, I prefer The White Stripes, and I’d you’ll find out it’s not the case. Just enced us. But when we’re working the X-ecutioners) working with us, the track they recently remixed for rather listen to The Stooges or do some research.” Perhaps the we tend to shoot off in all kinds of and we did some 12-inch vinyl 24 hours non-stop. But why? Velvet Underground. And the new new album would be a good start- directions. We try to stay open- dubs of some of the early tracks. “Well we looked at all the long Streets album. I’ve been listening ing point...just a thought. minded and not rule anything out,” But apart from that it was very tracks from the past and just want- to that a lot.” in similar style to The Avalanches similar.” ed to do it. We tried it on an LP just PAGE 7 22nd March 2002

After stayingBRICK up every A nightW forA theRDS past week on a diet of pure speed and pot noodles just to count up the thousands of votes ...... Here are the BRICK Award winners in full

The legendary and respected award itself

We know the antici- SUPER FURRY ANIMALS Jason Pierce pation has been KNOB OF THE YEAR barely manag- BEST DJ PAUL CORNWELL ing to contain unbearable for you his excitement all, especially with all HYPE as he recieves BEST BAND SPLIT his BRICK Award of the minor award BEST ALBUM STEPS for best album. ceremonies in the ‘LET IT COME DOWN’ - run up to the BRICKS, SPIRITUALIZED SEPTEMBER 11TH so here are the AWARD FOR SICKENING results, as voted for BEST SINGLE AMD OVER THE TOP by you! ‘BODYROCK’ - ANDY C & PATRIOTISM SHIMON THE WESSEX SCENE (NOT THE EDGE) BEST BAND BEST SUSU EVENT SMERIN’S ANTISOCIAL

POUNDSTRETCHER SO SOLID CREW AWARD Photos: Cornwell Paul CLUB 23/11/01 (AKA FOR THE BEST BEATING SMUTSTRETCHER) OF A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD BEST MALE GIRL APHEX TWIN TOP TV SHOW SO SOLID CREW LOUIS THEROUX BEST FEMALE KYLIE TOP FILM LORD OF THE RINGS BEST LIVE ACT PAGE 8 22nd March 2002 The Edge hangs out with the stars at...

of The Office, winner of the Brat The Nme Carling awards for Best TV show. Or rather, he bumped into us, started talking to us, and even though we point- ed out we weren’t who he thought we were, he happily car- ried on - I wonder if there may be some correlation between number of awards won and amount of alcohol drunk? Although clearly pleased with the award, he didn’t seem to show too much regard for it, leav- ing it, as he did, with complete strangers (including your corre- spondent) for large sections of the evening. John and Alison with Ash Atalla- producer of ‘The Office’ Also spotted in attendance were James Walsh from Starsailor, had already started to get very entering a toilet cubicle with LostProphets, Damon Gough messy, with Brat award winners another gentleman - that’s the one (aka Badly Drawn Boy) complete swaying and staggering the most. problem with fashionable parties with tea cosy, and Lauren Laverne Within five minutes of arriving we in London: the gents’ cubicles are (remember her, Kenickie fans?!). bumped into Tim Wheeler from just as busy as the ladies! There were of course many other Ash, winners of Best Single for The Strokes were the evening’s stars and stalwarts of the music Burn Baby Burn. For someone biggest winners, winning Brats for industry in attendance, but they who had a number one album Best New Act, Band of the Year, and have been since lost in a haze as I when he was just nineteen, he was album of the year for Is This It, their behaved in the only possible incredibly down-to-earth and 2001 debut. I was lucky enough to manner befitting a Monday night friendly, just simply enjoying the meet Gordon Raphael, producer of and a rock ‘n’ roll party by playing “craic”. Impressively, as I bumped the album, who was obviously catch-up with Nickolai Fraiture into him several occasions, he last- pleased about the award. He with the aid of all the cheap ed the duration and could be spot- revealed that he was in the coun- Carling on supply. ted still upright at the end of pro- try to “hook up with a couple of ceedings in the small hours of the bands over here”, and perhaps morning. record the British response to the The same, however, cannot be stunning debut by NYC’s finest. said for Nickolai Fraiture of The Talking of producers, we also Strokes. The triple Brat-winning bumped into Ash Atalla, producer John McKenna band’s bass player was quite clear- The Edge’s John McKenna with his very own award! ly the Stroke in worst condition, Tuesday mornings. Like many coolest people from the music though they were all, with the Southampton students, I find them world at the NME Carling awards at exception of guitarist Nick Valensi to be characterised by the desire Planit Arches, Shoreditch, London. (who left fairly early on with his to be still, for fear of being ill and The Brats, as they are more affec- new pseudo famous girlfriend increasing the pounding behind tionately known, are one of the Amanda De Cadenet), clearly my eyes which, along with the few major awards in the music intent on making the most of kebab stains, is the masochistic industry to be determined pre- being the evening’s big winners. residue of a previous night’s car- dominantly by the public, rather Sat at The Strokes table, both nage at Jesters/Kaos. A couple of than stiffs in suits. NME readers Alison and I tried to engage Mr. weeks ago, however, I had the over a matter of months voted for Fraiture in conversation, but unfor- pleasure of inflicting my Tuesday all their favourite things in the tunately, most of what came out morning pain on myself in sur- worlds of music, television, and of the lips of the figure slumped in roundings slightly more glamor- film. Once the votes were all in, it his chair, glued to a can of Grolsch, ous than the delights of Bevois was time to party! can only be described as a Valley! (Believe me, I escaped, it is The awards ceremony itself took Manhattan slur. Not far behind possible!!) Courtesy of those lovely place in the afternoon (though it the near-comatose bass player people at Strongbow and Squares was delayed by Kylie being an hour was lead singer Julian Casablancas, (and my sister Alison who won the late!), and by the time I, your hum- standing, but unable to string a tickets!), I spent Monday, February ble Edge correspondent, arrived sentence together. He was also 25 getting drunk with some of the for the after-show party, things noticed by your correspondent, An understandebly scared looking Tim Wheeler from Ash... PAGE 9 22nd March 2002 Interview... JASON PIERCE REVEALS ALL IN WHAT COULD BE HIS MOST REVEALING INTERVIEW EVER, SPIRITUALIZED’S FRONT MAN TALKS GLASTONBURY, RADIOHEAD, DRUM ‘N’ BASS AND DRUGS

On what was quite possibly the see Richard Ashcroft around and and then we go to America. first day of spring. The EDGE took if so are there any hard feelings? EDGE What sort of a tour have Jason Pierce - spurred on to a trip down to the Novotel to JP I haven’t seen him in you got in America? greatness by the EDGE interview catch up with Spiritualized front- ages. I see Kate [Radley, ex lover JP Thirty-two dates all over man and living legend, Jason and Keyboard player - now mar- the place. It’s the same size shows Pierce. The EDGE caught up with ried to Dicky Ashcroft] quite as we play here really. Jason in his hotel room before he often, she came to the last show EDGE Nice. So when are you played at the Guildhall that in London. What’s with all of going to start on the follow up to evening. these tabloid questions? ‘Let It Come Down’? EDGE You’ve played some JP We’ve got five tracks EDGE What did you think of amazing gigs - the CN Tower, down already, one was released the reception to ‘Let It Come Glastonbury ‘98 and the Royal on the back of the last single but Down’? Albert Hall. Are any of those your that’s not likely to be on the new JP I don’t really pay any best or have you got another album in that form. The new attention to reviews and stuff, I one? recording is more about docu- just get on with what I do. JP They were all kind of menting the sound of the band EDGE But you’ve won the events, you’ve only got to walk in playing, they’ve been recorded in BRICK award for best album and to the Albert Hall and it’s great, the time that it takes to listen to you came second in NME’s top they’re not necessarily any of the track. albums of last year. best shows though. EDGE Has there been any JP Yeah, it is cool. It’s nice to EDGE Can you pinpoint one noticeable change in direction? have a little recognition I sup- that was though? JP The band are phenome- pose. JP They just get better, nal. It’s been about recording vir- EDGE I interviewed Sean Cook we’re on a roll now where four tually from playing rather than when I went to review Lupine out of five shows will be hitting trying to construct an album. Howl last year. Obviously one of the edge. The acoustics are quite EDGE So it’s set to be less of an the main questions asked was a priority at the moment, the exercise in orchestration than ‘Let about the break up. What’s your thing about the CN tower was It Come Down’? side of the story? that it just wasn’t as good as JP Yeah, basically. I’ve been JP You just can’t do it with doing it in a venue with good listening to a lot of stuff and I’ve Only Religion’ is so important and you? So what did you do after people who are just in it for the sound. realised that there is no right or stems from drum ‘n’ bass. leaving school? cash. Over a period of about a EDGE What was it like playing wrong. It’s all about what hap- EDGE You like drum ‘n’ bass JP I went to art college and year or so they just made it Glastonbury then? pens there and then. then? then put Spacemen 3 together. I impossible to work. They’d drop JP The fact that people EDGE So you’re going to do a JP Love it. I could make did the first term and got a grant out of shows, treble their money were standing knee deep in water Radiohead then? drum ‘n’ bass, you don’t even have for a year then bought a guitar and I’m not the sort of person waiting for us to play, it’s some- JP What you mean a radical to understand drum ‘n’ bass to be and amp out of that. who reacts lightly. I always figure thing else. It’s the best festival in departure? I think that the prob- able to say ‘Right I know how to EDGE What’s your source of if you give people time they’ll the world it really is. lem that I have with anything like make that fast bass roll, I know inspiration? come round. It became a night- EDGE are you going to be that is the bigger the change the how to use an 808.’ But It’s got to JP That feeling you get from mare, the whole thing just down at Glasto this year, or any more perceived the sort of “hey come from you. That’s why I making or hearing great music. became impossible and it just other festivals? this is radical.” I always question always question these radical The feeling of the music making seemed like what I wanted was JP I’m not sure that we’re those moves that, regardless of departures. They’re not radical in the hairs on the back of your neck different to what they wanted. All down for Glastonbury this year. who they are, it always seems to that they push they’re music to a stand up. Great music is like ecsta- it was for them was what was the radical new edge, they’ve just sy - just overpowering. easiest way to make the most “ Great music is like ecstasy - picked-up on what’s hip. You EDGE almost finally, South Park cash possible. won’t be seeing a Spiritualized or Simpsons? EDGE and that wasn’t part of just overpowering”- JP free jazz record or a Spiritualized JP That’s a tough one, I real- your plan? drum ‘n’ bass record. ly can’t say. JP It never has been. EDGE What did you think the EDGE Coke or Pills? EDGE How different is life now We’re trying but it’s so oversub- be a move that negates where best albums of last year were. JP Coke turns people into with Poppy (Jason’s daughter) scribed this year and it’s been so they were at before. I think it JP Just re-issues really, such market traders - up at 5.30 am compared to your hedonistic on and off for a while now. needs to be more subtle. I mean as the recent re-issue of Marvin having a sincere conversation. I’d early days? EDGE When are you planning there was a heavy influence of Gaye’s ‘What’s Going On’. I think opt for the latter though it JP She’s too young to com- on taking a break and when are drum ‘n’ bass on ‘Ladies and that if an album’s really good it’ll depends what they are really. plain to be honest. It’s different. you going back in to the studio? Gentlemen...’, I mean not perceiva- find it’s way to me in a year or EDGE Best Pill? I’m not really going to talk about JP The next break is in the bly, not like I’ve just picked up all two. Miles live at the Filmore was JP Uhh, I ain’t going to go this. summer between the festivals. the tricks of drum ‘n’ bass. A lot of a great one as well. into that [he says chuckling]. EDGE Fair enough. Do you ever We finish up tomorrow in London the energy on tracks like ‘No God EDGE You didn’t go to uni did

PAGE 10 22nd March 2002 Live... Surge...now on your Brimful of Asha Slight Return? and the 45s... BLUETONES AND EASYWORLD received rapturous applause and worked nicely. There was cer- Southampton University are expected to be on the forth- tainly a great vibe within the wavelength THE 45s, KID GALAHAD, and 13/03/02 coming album This Is Where I audience - loud cheers and They say a change is as good as a NEON Stand due for release towards the broad smiles. To others, it all rest, and with Medication’s alter- The Joiners’ Arms Easyworld opened their set with end of the spring. got a bit dull. They might have native room, that certainly seems Friday 22nd February a cracking rendition of U Make The band was later seen watch- been saved had they tried to to be the case, if recent weeks are Me Want To Drink Bleach, which ing the Bluetones whilst talking inject a bit of energy into the anything to go by! The room, First up on this lonesome night at set the pace for the next half to fans and signing autographs. performance. Guitarist Adam playing a mix of less mainstream The Joiners were Neon, although hour. Dav Ford sporting a It’s good to see that they value Devlin looked as if he was genres at the fortnightly union initially nobody noticed what naughty school-boy outfit and a their audience. Cheers to drum- there because Mark Morriss event, was taken over by Surge with them looking like blokes low-slung guitar energised the mer Glenn Hooper for putting up wanted to go singing again. DJs a few weeks ago, and the dif- who just tune instruments. show with his pained facial with my drunken ramblings! He appeared as though he ference was plain to see from the They were, on second evaluation, expressions and obvious love The trio recently signed to the had consumed a few too many off. Access to greater levels of a decent four-piece who churned for his music. Jive label after a mini-album beverages by the way he stag- manpower and resources imme- their way through half a dozen The heart of the set was domi- released through Fierce Panda. gered to and fro on the same diately placed the revamped tracks before producing their nated by Junkies and Whores, The single Try Not To Think came spot, the bags under his eyes “Surgery” in a different league to best (Which Way? and Goodbye dedicated to the people of out last week. Who knows, they didn’t help! its predecessor. Cruel World) at the end. It was a Southampton, and 100weight, a might even better fellow The new Bluetones album fea- For the uninitiated, SURGE is the good solid opening. previous single. Eastbournites Toploader. turing FOUR new tunes (!) will snappy acronym of the Now please imagine, if you will, Jo Taylor, the bassist, enchanted be out on the 8th April Southampton University Radio leaving that Welsh bloke from half the crowd with her sultry Oh, and Bluetones played too. following the single After service from Glen Eyre (clever, Hollyoaks unwashed and caged good looks and flirty glances Hours on the 25th March. eh?). Originally available only to for three weeks with a diet of while Dav took the other half... How do you follow an act like students residing in the Glen Halls only Red Bull and amphetamines. although was that amount of that? Well Bluetones tried by complex through its broadcast on On his release you might have mascara strictly necessary?! playing their tried and tested ‘best Guy Williamson and Chris 1287AM, its output is now acces- something like Kid Galahad front- Two previously unreleased of’ catalogue and attempting to Weekes sible through the SUCS network man Ash, who gave 5000% of tracks Demons and You and Me live off the nostalgia. To some this (any computer that requires your Jagger-esque theatrics. It may @soton.ac.uk user name and pass- have been that (with the frequent word), by simply tracking down and inexplicable cry of “Ole!”) the website at http://surge.soton. which won everyone over, or the ac.uk and clicking on “listen”... band’s unusual and electrifying unless, of course, you fancy trawl- style, akin to a rockier Super Furry ing through the interweb to find Animals, or Britpop Blur with spe- it from the homepage! cial effects. Whatever it was, it Drawing directly from the policy afforded them spontaneous calls of the radio station (ie: anything for an encore. goes) but without stepping on Then finally came The 45s, with the toes of the other themes, the some honest pretty-boy country- Surgery aims to provide an alter- tinged rock. Unfortunately they native to the clichéd standard of were subjected to an apathetic the ‘cheese room’, the ‘house gathering (and a heckling toss- room’, the ‘same every week room’, pot), with tambourine-wielding and if the turnout is anything to Thunderbird-like Matt Hales try- go by, the Surge team have turned ing in vain to charm everyone the potentially “fringe” element back onside. If more people had around, into a resounding suc- given them a chance they’d have cess, maintaining a busy turnout realised how good they were, like Slight Disapointment? The Bluetones when the total numbers for a slower version of Fastball Medication reportedly dropped (no irony intended), or a more by nearly half. The figures speak relaxed Von Bondies. And loud, but not overly so. It’s the sort of GILA MONSTERS AND THE but does. After a too-short set, Priest, strangely enough...), Gila for themselves; the move away countryfied indie rock that would AESTHETES another band took to the stage, Monsters took to the stage. Well, from the school disco atmosphere take its shoes off so it doesn’t The Rhino Club clad in furry Russian hats. At that not really, because there wasn’t a that permeated the earlier alt/ traipse mud through your hall- Wednesday 13th March stage, I felt it was time to, err, get a stage as such, but you know what rock room to a far more together way, but maybe that’s a little too drink upstairs and stay there for I mean. Now this band knows how and professional outfit signals the reserved for The Joiners. Who Wednesday nights at Rhino’s are half an hour or so. So, sorry, but I to rock. Seemingly influenced by beginning of what promises to be knows? It wasn’t that they “played always a treat. And tonight was can’t tell you what they were the likes of The Swans and Black a highly successful franchise. like tossers” (bassist), just that no exception. However, for the called, or if they were any good. Sabbath, Gila Monsters managed Its looking good for everyone misplaced indifference eventual- first time, I ventured away from Most of the night is a bit of a blur, to make metal appealing to me. involved, but its only with the ly won out and left their set feel- the main dance floor to see some but that bit has somehow totally And that is no mean feat. Actually, continued interest of the organis- ing like an anti-climax. live bands performing in the been eliminated from my memo- perhaps classifying them as metal ers and consumers that the All in all, it was a good night for poky downstairs bar. First up ry. Nevermind,hey. is a bit too hasty, since some of Surgery can maintain such a qual- music, but maybe Kid Galahad were the Aesthetes, a young, Next up were Gila Monsters, evi- their instrumental offerings are ity product, so if you’re at all inter- could have circulated whatever well dressed three-piece with dently slightly more experienced more reminiscent of a Mogwai- ested, why not take a look next Ash was on amongst the congre- bags of attitude. Their sound was (read-older) than the Aesthetes esque vein of post-rock. time you’re feeling peckish at gation. That might have got quite similar to Hefner, though and more used to live perform- Both bands put on a brilliant Medication (the Surgery is situat- some people moving! more electronic- and the singer/ ance. Sporting long hair with lots show, in very different ways, and ed in Gordons coffee bar, in the guitarist even had the same of headbanging potential and var- if you get the chance to see depths of the union building)? Rich Heap strange but striking voice. The ious band T-shirts (Amongst which either of them live, I’d thoroughly Who knows, you might even like kind that really shouldn’t work figured Appliance and Judas recommend it. it.... Guy Hiscott

PAGE 11 22nd March 2002 Live... IAN BROWN and started again. Miraculously his voice was now good, he could sing Southampton Guildhall in tune. Big up. And so he rattled 03/03/02 off a great version of Corpses. Brown’s band are quite some- Ian Brown is a celebrity, mostly off thing. Boasting the largest percus- of a band that only released two sion rig the EDGE has ever seen albums, The Stone Roses. Sure he’s and Aziz on guitar, who instead of king monkey got a solo career but what of it? fret markers had blue LEDs. Nice. You can count the number of “Did anyone see The Stone Roses great songs Ian has released in his here in ‘95? Sold more tickets today solo career on one hand. Therein I have. Bigger crowd today.” Brown lies the problem. Well that and his said rather arrogantly before all too well documented voice launching in to Forever And A Day, live. a track from his latest album that Ian strolled on to the stage giving sounds worrying like Led it all that. In his mind he’s the Zeppelin. daddy. He picked up his mic stand, It was good to see however, that moved it off the stage and Ian is still backing the plight of launched in to Bubbles from his Satpal Ram as he urged the rather recent album Music Of The nonplussed crowd to sign the peti- Spheres. He was so out of tune it tion out the front. “When you leave was painful. I knew he was going you’ll see a petition to free Satpal to be but I had hoped that all the Ram, can you please sign it. Thank rumours were just from the anti you.” Did many people? Did they Ian Brown camps. But no. fuck. A few more songs on, including After that brief display of humility The Gravy Train and Shadows Of A the band started up the gentle Saint, and a few moments of pos- intro to recent single Whispers turing for the cameras, he decides which was nice, but the question to pick on random members of on most peoples minds was Is he the audience and call them gay going to do any Stone Roses? Then “You’re gay, innit. You’re gay innit.” came along Stardust which too Um right. Then he spat on the was very nice and also from his stage, a recurring theme over the recent album. evening. One of the few from Ian’s second Hooray Corpses! Ian whips out solo album Golden Greats came the intro on his harmonica and next in the form of Loves Like A then boo, his singing was still shit. Fountain and then, gasp, the riff What’s this though? Ian walked off from Fools Gold. I knew he’d play the stage just before the chorus some Stone Roses at some point. leaving his band, which included But no, just the riff and then back long time collaborator Aziz in to Loves Like A Fountain the Ibrahim, standing twiddling their tease. You should have seen the thumbs. Then he came on again crowd though, it took them a little

Ian sees red Photos: Paul Photos: Cornwell Paul

while to realise it wasn’t actually changing.” the entire version of Fools Gold. F.E.A.R. soon got everyone forget- Keeping on the Golden Greats ting about any scuffle and the theme along came the incredibly audience were giving big cheers stupidly titled Dolphins Were all the way for Ian. It was a good Monkeys. It then struck the EDGE version of F.E.A.R. as well, really that the sound system tonight impassioned whilst still being arro- wasn’t the usual one - it was super gant. “Got any requests?” Ian asked phat, with ribcage rattling bass. the crowd and then launched Safe. straight in to a long thumping intro Browny pauses for a moment and to My Star as if to pre-empt the then engages in conversation with crowd. a few members of the audience Unfortunately after his voice away from the mic. “If you want a being so good for most of the set it fight we can step outside.” Then he gave out on My Star, which was stood there for a bit looking moody pretty gutting. As the song drew to like he was contemplating bugger- a natural close the band walked off ing off. Then a matey came from and Ian stood and kept, quite the side of the stage and talked in annoyingly, repeating the chorus. to Ian’s ear. Then Ian addressed the Out of tune. whole crowd “Fuck it. He’s right, It was a good gig, you pretty they can fight themselves. There’s much know what to expect from nothing going on down here, don’t king monkey, so there weren’t real- worry. Just a few nappies that need ly any surprises. He’s a bit of a

PAGE 12 22nd March 2002 30TH shell ad

PAGE 13 22nd March 2002 Live... raising the spirits

SPIRITUALIZED This is partic- Southampton Guildhall Thursday 7th March

Opening a live show with the 24 minute closing track from your ularly true when he steps back last but one album would, for from the mic and allows the most bands, be at best ambi- band to take control. In this tious and at worst outright sui- manner, some of the less remark- cidal. Yet for Spiritualized’s Jason able tracks such as Do It All Over Pierce it seems a matter of Again and Don’t Just Do course, and the small but devot- Something congeal into an even ed crowd warm instantly to the less remarkable mess. They also tones of Cop Shoot Cop, an ode serve to deaden the effect of the to the perils of heroin. edgier tracks Electricity and When performing live, Pierce Come Together. invariably refuses to take centre Fortunately, Pierce’s more beau- stage, preferring instead to tiful straight-up songs prevent stand to one side and observe the performance from becom- his six onstage cohorts, all of ing a soul destroying distortion- whom - with perhaps the excep- fest. His hesitant voice is the tion of keyboardist and Coil perfect compliment to the mini- associate Thighpaulsandra - are malistic repetitions of I Think I’m effectively backing band fodder. In Love and the elegiac Lord Can On this occasion the band are a You Hear Me while the best song well-oiled music-making of the evening, a pared down buy the machine and at times this makes rendition of Broken Heart proves for a pretty uninteresting listen. that Pierce doesn’t need a 20-piece orchestra to sound soundtrack

“Just when I thought that The Hives were my new favourite (Swedish) band...”

PAGE 14 22nd March 2002 30TH

But Me No Buts - Shit name, nice stance. Live...

Matey from the Dawn Parade sings it loud.

Miss Black America Photos: Paul Photos: Cornwell Paul

MISSMiss BLACK AMERICA, SLward mid 90’sA Britpap.CK shakyA but soonM got in to Eit - pretRIC- Dandy Warhols, gotA straight in to have some of?” Err.. NO get your DAWN PARADE and A few songs in the lead singer ty good all in all. it. Just after the start of their sec- own. BUT ME NO BUTS tells the crowd the sorry tale of Up next were But Me No Buts a ond song however, disaster struck After playing Liquid Silk Seymour Winchester Railway Inn the band’s recent incident on the five piece who knocked out some when guitarist Gish’s guitar lead launched in to a mini tirade 21/02/02 M25. The previous day, the first of pretty fierce 120 bpm shit. Theirs flew out from one of his pedals - against a certain US president their support slots, on their way was a blend of fierce skate metal, cue mass frenzy onstage. It is who is dear to all of our hearts The Winchester Railway is not so from Suffolk to Bournemouth the old skool punk and ska. The stage unfortunate however, that lead culminating in “This is for my much a venue more of a small guitarist ran in to the back of a was overflowing with energy and singer Seymour Glass bears too favourite person. George W Bush. backroom in a quiet It’s called Smile.” A hint of irony pub. The crowd was perhaps? Smile is reminiscent of definitely on the the Smashing Pumpkins’ light side - the “This is for my favourite person: Tonight Tonight in places. majority being com- Next came Miss Black America, posed of band mem- based around an Ash style gui- bers, friends, family George W Bush. It’s called Smile.” tar riff and possibly their best and other guestlist song. “This is the last one blaggers (such as the tonight. If anyone wants to buy EDGE). The crowd me a pint we really will suck you was also very odd - Seymour from Miss Black America off. Too many sharks in the gene the biggest collec- pool.” tion of shoe-gazers The three bands were certainly since the last Smith’s concert. truckby Watford. They then launch ska guitar licks, fast paced much of a resemblance to Brian a funny mix to be sharing one bill Billed purely as Miss Black in to Hope - a nice melodic punchy rap ska metal - they even Molko for his, or for that matter and it has to be said that Miss America the evening was actually number with an echoey guitar riff had a song that only lasted for anyone’s, good. Black America were slightly disap- a showcase for three small time and vocals reminiscent of one minute and the drummer It wasn’t until the end of the sec- pointing as the headliners and But up and coming (?) bands in sup- Throwing Copper era Live. had a double bass pedal. ond song that Seymour first Me No Buts were the boys of the port of the Anti-Nazi league. The Soon after this The Dawn Parade After a blistering set by But Me addressed the crowd, and even evening. first of which were The Dawn play their forthcoming single Hot No Buts, Miss Black America took then it was only “This is for the Parade, a four piece with a psy- July, which consisted of a pretty to the tiny stage and began their Dawn Parade. It’s called car crash.” chotic bassist and an uncomforta- fierce guitar riff. It could do well if set. The four piece, who have pre- After Car Crash Seymour tries to ble looking guitarist peddling a put out on decent release. The viously supported the likes of the ponce a drink off of anyone in the Paul Cornwell mixture of good tunes with awk- Dawn Parade started out a bit Dum Dums, Dope Smugglaz and crowd “Anyone got a drink I can PAGE 15 22nd March 2002 dance DEDBEAT FESTIVAL DEDBEAT WEEKENDER So after that slight disappoint- Vauxhall Holiday Park, Great ment the crowd were in a slightly Yarmouth subdued state, not sure if they 22-24/02/02 were up for it or not, so the next T.O.V. VAlve act, 4 Hero had a job on his hands. vs There’s nothing like a good festival A job which he is only to skilled at, to brighten up a cold and depress- reading the crowd like some freaky ing February, and in the lack of psychic persuading even the most choice I decided to go to Dedbeat. heavily stoned b-boys to give it If you like hip hop then the line up some dance floor action, all to the was nothing short of spectacular. modest sounds (a very rare thing) Representing everything from the of MC MG, fantastic. up and coming talents of local Saturday’s drum and bass offer- Norwich boys Deftex playing their ings were from DJ craze, a tiny little soon to be classic ‘Sycronize’ with bloke who plays well known tunes Photo: Photo: Joley Dickson that distinctive Jurassic Five fla- in a way so original that even the vour, right through to the estab- keenest amongst us had no idea lished classics of Doug E Fresh and what was going on, a true genius. the get fresh crew driving the After this scratch attack it was time crowd wild with the old school for the incredible frequencies of vibe. Dillinja + Lemon D, if you haven’t Another big crowd pleaser, The seen these two you may wonder Herbaliser, showed up in full glory what I mean by this, all I can say is with an 11-piece band including a that they were maybe one or two full on brass section that naturally decibels away from the ‘brown went down a storm. If any proof noise’, wicked. was needed to back up the rumours Sunday, rise and shine to a fren- of an imminent full-scale drum and zied clear-up-the-shit-in-the-cha- bass invasion of the airwaves then let to get the deposit back. Then Dedbeat was it. Make no mistake more games of pool and over to this was a serious hip hop event the pool where people had become full of nothing but the most dedi- so dissatisfied with the slide that cated of hood wearing b-boys and they’d taken to leaping off the top Trouble on Vinyl Vs Valve Sound system so it was only used for the some of the darkest of D&B heard dreadlock sporting rude girls, yet rather than going down it. And at System @ The Rex Arena 02/03/02 very beginning of the night, but throughout the night. both Friday and Saturday night in waters edge, live hip-hop. Nice and the valve sound system proved to The music sustained awesome the main room was a strictly drum surreal. Lots of people splashing If you’re into your Drum & Bass, be far from disappointing. quality, all artists performed to the and bass affair. youthfully, lots of other people then you would only have to take It was midnight before we knew high standard that you expect The first offering came from the head nodding and hangin’. Holiday one look at this line up to know it and on came DJ Craze back to from such big name DJs, with the infamous Heavies, a collaboration camp meets city. Now this wouldn’t that this was always gonna be an back with Plus One battling it out exception of‘The Great Grooverider’ of Nicky Black Market, Plus One, be a good review without at least ultimately phat night out. Residing with some of the most clinical who was totally shameful, sucking the jungle drummer and Rodney P. some mention of the place itself. were some of the best DJs from mixing & scratching you could complete ass. Either he can’t mix With names like this I really did I’ve purposely avoided this to an around the globe, including the ever hope to see. We were blown any more or he just doesn’t give a expect to be impressed, the jungle extent cos’ to be fair it was Lame. likes of Craze, Marky, Plus One, away with the variety of records shit. drummer alone would have been We’re talking Butlins, without the Dilinja, Lemon D, Hype, Andy C played from the latest white labels The crowd were fairly lame as enough to get me going, but frills. It sounds OK, with a pool, and the list just goes on. This was such as the newest ‘Champion Andy C rounded off the night, unfortunately something was skate ramp, free bowling, huge coupled with vocal geniuses such Sound Remix’ (BAD) through to when his set was finished people decidedly wrong. Both the scratch- poolroom large arcade, ten birth as Skibadee, Shabba, GQ, Fearless classic oldskool D&B party tunes were quick to walk away without a ing from Plus One and Nicky’s mix- mobile homes and yet it was some- and 2Shy but to name a few. such as ‘Terrorist’ and the ‘Ready or shout for one more. ing were a bit weak, and as a result how all so tacky. On first encounters with the Valve Not’ bootleg. We’d like to talk more about the the whole act was messy. Although To be honest though, who gives a Sound system, Bass resonance was Next to don the boxing ring tak- Hip Hop room, which was pretty in their defence I’m blaming the shit it’s still leagues ahead com- almost physically sickening, with ing the masses by storm were funky but we didn’t find it until sound man who seemed to be pared to roughing it in a tent, and every hair on our arms and down Lemon D and Dilinja. With the 5.15a.m and as for the Oldskool having a volume battle with the this really was one event where it the back of our necks standing to Valve Sound system being person- room, where the hell was that? DJ’s. was all about the music. attention. To be honest there are ally tailored to suit Dilinjas sound, This however was not a shame, as no words that can describe accu- this was a show not to be missed. the D & B room was impossible to Nicky Blackmarket - Weak rately the way that it made us feel, Dillinja played a particularly phat leave. All we can say is that you but it was impossible to keep the dubplate, couldn’t tell you what its have not experienced Drum & Bass smiles off our faces as this much called but you’ll know it when you to it’s full potential unless you have bass is just funny. Wherever you hear it, it’s gonna be a classic. experienced the Valve Sound sys- were in the main room you were The night went on moving from tem. During 3 years of Drum & guaranteed to feel the rumblings amazing to unbelievably amazing. Bass clubbing, this is without a through your chest. Our highlight of the night had to doubt the best night either of us The Rex Arena looked excellent be Bad Company dropping a remix has ever been to. with some superb laser effects and of Planet Dust, which is sure to the stage decked out with a box- have the crowds behaving like ing ring containing the two sets of mentalists every time. Marky per- decks of Valve and TOV. formed up to his usual mind blow- Unfortunately there were techni- ing standard, although this time Graeme Robertson and cal difficulties with the TOV sound not playing his Brazilian style but Joley Dickson

PAGE 16 22nd March 2002 30TH dance

albums sin-

The Times suggested that Alicia JON MARSH any fears are dispelled by the jazzy If you know anything about drum THE HERBALISER FEAT. was perhaps the next Aretha Fabric 03 - Jon Marsh piano and stop-start beat. This is ‘n’ bass, you’ll know that hype is WILDFLOWER Franklin. I’m not so sure, but she’s (Fabric Records) immediately followed by the the daddy. He was when he was Good Girl Gone Bad definitely worth it. album’s killer track The Girl Who one of the first DJs to come from (Ninja Tune) March the 4th sees the release of Fell Through The Ice, which is the start of the Jungle movement 6/10 Fabric 03 compiled and mixed by another collaboration with and he still is now it has progressed Jake and Ollie return with the first AU the clubs progressive house resi- Canadian vocalist Kate Rogers to the far more acceptable guise of twelve inch release from their new dent, Jon Marsh. (who provided the chilling vocals drum ‘n’ bass. album Something Wicked This Way BRANCACCIO AND AISHER The choice of tunes are repre- to Cold Water Music’s ‘Sail’). With Hype opens with Moving Fusion’s Comes (released on March18th), It’s Gonna Be ..(A Lovely Day) sentative of Saturdays at the club the recent commercial success of ‘Thunderball’ which sees him dou- and jolly good it is too. Wildflower, (Credence Records) and are mixed competently the likes of Zero-7, one feels that ble cutting like it’s going out of the female MC hailing from our enough, though as is the case the sublime mix of deep bass, fashion. Taking this into Brockie’s very own Brixton, provides a raw, Brancaccio and Aisher strip away throughout the album, nothing to chilled beats, lush strings and soar- ‘Mars’ Hype lets the beats flow reggae-flavoured edge that sits the layers of C&C Music Factory get excited about. The resounding ing, haunting vocals could well be whilst he scratches it up like only particularly well with The sampled b-line of Phillip Charles Elektrik the track to break aim to the gen- he can do. Some of his scratches Herbaliser’s slickly produced jazzy track ‘Soul System’ and put them Dreamers is the seminal track on eral public. But let’s hope not: this last in excess of a minute and are hip hop. The B-side’s somewhat back in the shape of a deep-rooted the album standing out for its big track is far more emotionally fulfill- completely faultless. darker Verbal Anime remix, featur- slab of driving house in It’s Gonna sound and energy, though this is ing than the current spate of “chill- To say that Hype is technically ing Iriscience of Dilated Peoples, is Be...(A Lovely Day). Apparently the exception and not the norm. out” music that has been released perfect is an understatement - of a similarly high quality, and, on very popular on the Ibiza dance Without doubt the very best fea- in recent years and is well worth you’ve just got to hear the way he, the strength of these two tracks, floors, it is evident thsi is a house/ ture of this CD is the packaging the album’s asking price alone. apparently effortlessly, teases the forthcoming album is aptly dance track with potential com- which encloses it - a very nice little After that the album moves into tunes in, double cuts and scratch- titled. mercial success. As the artists pro- tin in which you could either keep standard aim territory, standout es. He takes the idea of a mix claim themselves, this is “forward super thin pencils or alternatively tracks being the chilled out jazzy album and throws it out of the 8/10 thinking dance music” and you cn use it as a means to protect your hip-hop of What Do People Do All window. He has turned a mix Alicia Keys - Fit almost see where they’re coming flattened spliffs from the ele- Day, and Fall Break. Where aim album into a blank canvas over from. It is a dancey track but not in ments. succeeds in bettering his previous which he can work his art. No mix a convential hectic way. The beats This latest offering from the work is in the emotive charge that album will ever be viewed in the aren’t too hard and the effect of London based super club will each of the tracks on this album same light again. the shattering reverb-packed vocal doubtless not only appeal to those carry: in addition to nodding your The blend of old skool (‘Lighter’ ‘It’s Gonna Be,’ is soothingly mes- who don’t like to break a sweat on head and shuffling your feet to the which is scratched up to another merising, and probably where its the dance floor but also to those delicious deep beats, you will feel level) with yet unreleased material success lies. who like that ‘sophisticated back- the hairs on the back of your neck (the absolutely fearsome ‘Grimey’ Its potentiality for mixing is obvi- ground bar music in your lounge stand up on more than one occa- by Dillinja) is characteristic of ous and it will probably be quite feel’. My advice is do yourself a sion, a rarity in beat-led music. It is Hypes live outings, particularly his impossible to miss this one. favour and scour the land for a rare also far more dynamic than most True Playaz nights at Fabric. but amazing copy of Sasha & music of the genre, employing There’s the old staple of Bad 6/10 Digweeds’ Northern Exposure and careful use of the soft/loud aes- Company’s ‘Planet Dust’ mixed into SP leave the rest of that progressive thetic. This is not a flawless album, current wobbly fave Zinc’s ‘Ska’ business well alone - it induces one criticism being that the dedi- which then gets the fuck scratched RW S.I. FUTURES sleep and could give you a bad cated rap-led hip-hop tracks (of out of it bad-style. Seamlessly this Eurostar case of milk. which there are only two) are too then glides into ‘Squash by Total ALICIA KEYS (Mute) “gangsta-rap” in nature. However, Science and then it continues A Woman’s Worth 5/10 the brilliance of the 11 other tracks apace taking in the likes of Trinity (J Records) A straight laced techno - lite theme TH more than makes up for this, a (‘Jah’), Bad Company (the seldom tune for underground channel sublime mix of down-tempo beats, heard ‘Rodeo’), Future Prophecies crossings ? deep throbbing bass, jazzy (‘Electronic Funk’), Bonafide So we all heard ‘Fallin’ and what a Maybe it’s an advert that escaped AIM arrangements, and soothing (‘Superbad’), Mist:i:cal (with the good tune. Full of yearning and my attention. None of the four Hinterland vocals. Hinterland is, in the words chilled ‘Swingtime’) and Krust (you tenderness and other soulful mixes are extraordinary ranging (Grand Central Records) of the sample on Fall Break, an guessed it - ‘Snapped it’). attributes. But of course the follow- from a Tipper remix sounding like a album for “people who cry out to Following this is a little run from up single couldn’t possibly be as cut from the overrated Fans have been patiently waiting hear something new.” his True Playaz label with Zinc’s good, could it? No, it couldn’t. ‘A quelch fest Mr Ozio album, to a for nearly three years for the follow ‘Casino Royale’ sliding into Hype’s woman’s worth’ is full of proclama- mild routine House workout. up to aim’s (aka andy turner) semi- 9/10 ‘True Playaz Style’ and then on into tions about being “worth it” and nal 1999 debut album Cold Water JCB Pascal’s ‘Jazz Juice’. Brilliant. how it’s nice to be nice to your 4/10 Music. Given the brilliance of that Bored of ‘Bodyrock’ yet? Yes? Well lady, and in return, she’ll be nice to DP album, the potential was there for DJ HYPE check dis shit out. Andy C and you. Oh, and a real man knows a a disappointing release. This was FabricLive 03 - DJ Hype Shimon’s breakover dance-floor real woman comes first, of course. JADELL somewhat exacerbated by below (Fabric Records) anthem of last year has been filled Ms Keys is clearly a talented artist, Inside Looking Out EP par first single The Omen, which with more breaks and cuts than producer, writer etc. Much of her (Illicit) was released two weeks prior to Wow. This is an amazing album. It Southampton General. Leaving on work seems to be modelled on Hinterland; a rather lacklustre beat probably wouldn’t be pushing it to a high note Hype leaves us with Soul Guru Stevie Wonder, (her Daft over the top descriptions of mixed with “gangsta-rap” style say that this is the best drum ‘n’ Dillinja’s ‘Grimey’ - a filthy track album, Songs in A minor being both ‘ To Morning ‘, and ‘ Spanish mc’ing was not quite what this bass mix album available. The True that has got to be experienced live perhaps a direct reference to Fly ‘, when reality dawns they are reviewer, for one, was expecting. Playaz supremo has properly gone to understand the building, ten- Wonder’s Songs in the Key of Life). rather dull instrumentals. ‘ Testify ‘ However, panic over, because to work on this 74-minute work of sion filled bass line and the shear Organ riffs and lyrics about self then is a complete shocker being a Hinterland delivers on all counts; filth. Darker in places than the barrage of beats. respect abound. It is therefore no worthy mention alongside Jurassic in fact, the album is in many ways Sahara desert at night and at some Out on 1 April, you’d be a fool not surprise that young Alicia has been 5 and Pharoah Monarch. more accomplished than its pred- points bouncier than a speed freak to get it. heralded as the “new hope” for ecessor. From the opening Intro, on a pogo stick. proper soul music. Someone at PAGE 17 22nd March 2002 dance It’s a kind of Majik MARKY HITS J MAJIK tunes such as Andy C and Shimon’s in the form of the fantastic ‘Up All THE MARK IN Niteflight @ The Rhino Club ‘Bodyrock’, Bad Company’s ‘The Night’ by John B. Such nice vocals 11/03/02 Nine’ and a very nice mix out of combined with such dirty, large Jorge Ben & Toquinho’s ‘LK’ into bass. J Majik then proceeded to Monday nights have been the best the viscously overplayed ‘Shake it’ rather unadventurously rinse out nights for drum ‘n’ bass in by Shy FX. ‘LK’ and ‘Shake it’. There’s really no CARDIFF Southampton since Squeeze left Wheeler also dropped another need in such a small club, it’s just the Paradise Club. It’s great that we tune from label-mate Marky’s ‘The bad DJing. still do have good drum ‘n’ bass in Southampton, it’s just a shame that Wheeler it rules out some serious party action for some due to its location at the start of the week. Niteflight DJ MARKY/DJ RECTANGLE/ out HC’s latest dub plate, in Rhino’s usually attracts some STAMINA MC motionless behind the decks. interesting names, none of the The Welsh Club Marky then looked up at HC, super biggies, but they’re just get- 08/03/02 both of them nodding their ting boring frankly. heads in appreciation, before The line up included a Movement Set in the heart of Cardiff, just a he pulled out his own fresh dub resident (Wheeler), Scar, Karlito, a few minutes walk from the plate starting an hour an a half young upstart with a lot of talent restored castle is the appropri- of D&B perfection. Elsewhere, (Frags) and of course one time jun- ately named ‘Welsh Club’. The the dub reggae room was con- galist J Majik. Joining them over venue caters for a range of sistently busy, though down in the course of the night were MCs musical tastes but on this par- the Hip-Hop room, where Smokey, Trax and Greeny. ticular night Precinct was run- Rectangle was lacing some mad Frags was displaying his usual tal- ning the show. The night was scratches, things were a little ent cutting it up nicely and warm- playing host to Americas DMC quieter, no doubt due to the ing the sadly small crowd up in champion DJ Rectangle and masses packed in upstairs rins- preparation for Wheeler. Frags was the drum and bass boy from ing it hard to Marky. pulling out some nice tunes that Brazil, DJ Marky alongside If your ever over the boarder in aren’t getting overly rinsed at the Stamina MC. There was also the Wales check out the Welsh Club, Brazilian Job’ in the form of J Majik’s mixing was technically moment. local talent of High Contrast, it comes highly recommended! ‘Midnight’ Un-Cut. Wheeler’s set spot-on the whole night, but the It’s always nice seeing Wheeler, a one of the most promising D&B (If only the scene was as vibrant was definitely female vocals heavy, passion was never really there with real home-grown talent. He took to producsway. What was meant and alive here in which is a fantastic thing as far as him and his lack of scratching left the decks in a furious cacophony of to be an hour and a half set Southampton!) I’m concerned - his penultimate some points devoid of energy. beats and big ups from the MC. turned into a three hour mara- tune was the absolutely gorgeous Whether the crowd were quiet for Wheeler gradually increased the thon due the late arrival of remix of Sunshine Anderson’s most of the night (even when crowd on the dance-floor by play- Marky, but fuck it, HC was bril- Tristan ‘charlie made me go ‘Played The Fool Before’. prompted to give the big-ups by ing a good smut-lite set, though I liant! Marky arrived and spent quiet’ Hunt The transition between Wheeler the MCs) because of this or J Majik would have preferred a bit more the first five minutes checking DJ Break aka Peter ‘I ate all the darkness. Wheeler dropped a lot of and J Majik was seamless and the was lifeless because of the unre- the older and newer steadfast female vocals thing was carried on sponsive crowd we will never know. J Majik One of the highpoints of J Majik’s set was how he bought Zinc’s ‘Ska’ in, rolling off the back of the previ- ous tune for some time before being left in all it’s wobbly, bouncy glory to get everyone in the room shaking it about. His penultimate tune was the all-pleasing ‘Planet Dust’ which still never fails to rinse out a crowd, though the reaction was still not as it should be. J Majik was unfortunately a bit of a let down but the fact that he, Wheeler and Frags were on a line- up on a Monday night can never be a bad thing, even if some of them aren’t performing as best as they could do. There’s not a lot of better places to go on a Monday night. It should be going off in future. Marky - not in Cardiff though

PAGE 18 22nd March 2002 30TH chapters on the harms of confine- ment, meat-eating, keeping pets, animal research, zoos and so on. De Grazia’s approach is that of Books... the ethical philosopher yet he takes us through each step of his MORE, NOW, AGAIN arguments simply, without falling by Elizabeth Wurtzel into complicated theory. He says (Virago) himself that this book is aimed at anyone with an interest in animal Do not read this book expecting rights and not merely at academ- to be won over by Elizabeth ics. Wurtzel’s determination and a Animal Rights- A Very Short cheery tale of courage and recov- Introduction is a positive repre- ery from drug addiction. You will sentation of the thinking behind not like Elizabeth Wurtzel, but then Animal Rights movements, and a large part of her problem seems will be a far greater credit to the to stem from the fact that neither cause than the all-too-common does she. Her relentless self-obses- mindless activism so often associ- sion and disregard for others often ated with it. If you’ve ever asked becomes irritating and unlikeable. yourself questions about animal However this is good news for a rights and would like a clear over- book which gives an often appall- ANIMAL RIGHTS- A view of the issues, this is a must- ingly honest account of addiction VERY SHORT INTRODUCTION read book. and depression. It travels from by David DeGrazia lows like a compulsion for tweez- (Oxford University Press) Emmanuelle Smith ing leg-hairs leading to crusty green abscesses (not the best book This short, pocket-sized book to read over dinner) to great comic offers a brief but comprehensive 24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE- WHAT T scenes, such as an hour spent in introduction to the issues that sur- the county jail threatening to sue round animal rights. DeGrazia for magazine deprivation. This is announces from the outset that Go on... Smile! It won’t hurt! Wurtzel’s third book, after Prozac although he will try to be neutral, Nation and Bitch, and it is both sad he firmly believes that all animals and funny, horrific and charming, have rights, and do not -cannot- and recommended as a very exist solely for our use. However, insightful read. what entails is a well balanced, well thought out discussion on the Jo Clarke moral status of animals including

WIN SIGNED SPIRITUALIZED GOODIES!!!

You can win the fanatstic good- All Over Again’! All three were ies pictured above which include signed bj Jason Pierce when we two signed promotional presented him with his BRICK Spiritualized singles and a Award. Just answer the question signed photo of Spiritualized. below to win. The photo was that used on the front cover of the EDGE last year What band did Jason Pierce start and was taken at the before he created Spiritualized? Portsmouth Pyramids. The singles are promotional Answers to: [email protected]. copies of ‘Out Of Sight’ and ‘Do It uk

PAGE 19 22nd March 2002

FORSummerAY INTO is onFE STIVits way,ALS which means only one thing - sunshine, beer and music - you’ve got it: FESTIVALS! Isle of wight festival after 32 years of absence, the isle of wight festival is back !

Headliners The Charlatans

The last Isle of Wight festival was Shirley Smart, Leader of the Isle of cessful and the whole event has in 1970. Britain’s answer to Wight Council. “We were always been extremely well received. I am Woodstock, Jimmi Hendrix aiming high and we have certainly extremely pleased that when we played his last ever gig there. turned it into an exciting come- took the concept to Members (of But obviously none of us remem- back event. Our biggest congratu- the Isle of Wight Council) they ber that which is why it’s so lations go out to Solo and Wight could see the potential and growth tickets are on sale now for exciting that the Isle of Wight Leisure who have pulled it all opportunities and had the confi- festival is back this summer!! together.” dence to support the Festival this £30- Organisers of the revamped Isle “It’s especially pleasing to see that year and in the future.” of Wight Festival have confirmed at least two slots will be filled with The festival will actually take place that The Charlatans will headline local Island bands. The Bees are over two weeks and will comprise www.isleofwightfestival.com for tick- the launch concert, Rock Island, becoming increasingly well known as many musical events of many ets and more info at Seaclose Park, Newport on and, by including them as well as a styles across the whole Island. A June 3rd. Also confirmed are youth band on the bill, we are Blues, Folk and World Music week- Ash, Starsailor Hundred Reasons, inspiring all the Island talent with end will take place over 8/9 June and local band The Bees. an ambition and a realistic goal of with a Festival finale of Jazz and “It’s terribly exciting to have playing the stage in future years.” Samba on 15/16 June. A target of such a fantastic line-up and we Annie Horne, Managing Director over 100 events in 75 different are so proud to be reintroducing of Wight Leisure said : “Right from venues has been set and Wight the Isle of Wight Festival on such the start we always knew that the Leisure is confident these will be a quality note,” said Councillor return of the Festival under its achieved. Sounds good to us... new format would be hugely suc-

PAGE 20 22nd March 2002 30TH The best of the What?The ESSENTIALthe revision in for the exams after Festival the festival. The festival is a three The Brighton based entertain- day affair , reverting back to it’s ment group come out for a dou- original format of having a dance ble whammy hot on the heels of day, a rock day and then a roots their fantastic New Years Eve bash day. If you’re wondering about rest in Brighton. Essential are holding the weather messing the camping up, don’t. The festival is non- two festivals this year, one in May This year’s All Tomorrow’s Parties camping and runs from 1pm to and another later in the summer UK will be held, as per usual, at 11pm on the Saturday and and both look set to remain true Camber Sands Holiday Centre, Monday and until 10.30pm on to form - excellent. The Essential Sussex. Unlike previous years, Sunday, so get somewhere to Festival began as part of the local however, the festival -curated and crash sorted in advance. Students Union from where it has headlined by Shellac- will take gone from strength to strength, place over two weekends. Why? also it is one of the only term time Weekend one (19-21st April), fea- festivals happening this year. turing amongst others Godspeed, The line-up on each of the three Do Make Say Think and Smog, is days is fantastic, see for yourself: Where? already sold out but there are still a few tickets left for the second Saturday - Dance Day The first festival of the summer is weekend (26-28th April) featuring going to take place in Bristol’s Bonnie Prince Billie, Wire and Very special Headliner TBA, Phil Ashton Court, a reputedly fantas- many others. What’s more, at ATP, Hartnoll - Orbital DJ set, Lamb, tic place to hold such a gathering. you get your own chalet (avoiding Royksopp, Aim Live, System 7, The set up is going to be great camping in a muddy field), you’re Magikstar, Roni Size, Krust, with varied cuisine on offer, plen- 2 minutes away from a beautiful Grooverider, Fabio, Adam F, Ed ty of bars, skating and boarding beach, and DJs will see you Rush, Randall, Hype, Die, Trex, displays, the cream of the graffiti through the night at the bar. What Richie Hawtin, Paul Daley, Andrew world and a huge TV screen so more can you ask for? Weatherall, Funk D Void, Rolando, that anyone who wants to go to a Tickets and further info from Felix Da Housecat, Billy Nasty, festival and then watch a football www.alltomorrowsparties.co.uk match can (the FA Cup Final’s on Slam, Judge Jules, Sonique, Tall Paul, Dave Pearce, Dave Seaman, apparently). T In The Park will take place at Lisa Pin Up, Lisa Lashes, Lost Balado near Kinross on July 13 and Witness, Pete Wardman, Afro Celt When? 14. Tickets cost £37.50 per day or Sound System DJs, Fila Brazillia, Fabio and Grooverider £62.50 for the weekend if bought Layo and Bushwacka live, Thievery May bank holiday weekend, the before April 14. Weekend camping Corporation, Herbaliser, UNKLE 4th, 5th and 6th May, which tickets cost £74 before April 14, Deck ‘n’ fx, Luke Vibert, Blue leaves just enough time to get £79 after. The line-up includes: The States, Fat Tuesday, Gilles Peterson, Stanton Warriors, Celt Sound System, Dreadzone, Chemical Brothers, The Foo Norman Jay, Scratch Perverts, Badmarsh and Shri, Zion Train, Fighters, A, The Beta Band, Gomez, Adam F .... err in his younger days Plump DJs, Krafty Kuts v Soul of Mad Professor, Kitachi, Iration The Hives, Badly Drawn Boy, Ian Man and Kinobe. Steppas, Adrian Sherwood Brown, Black Rebel Motorcycle Soundsystem, Mr Scruff, Qool DJ Club, Tricky, Haven and No Doubt. Sunday - Rock Day Marv, Cinematic Orchestra, Crazy Penis, Treva Whatever and Rob Glastonbury takes place where it Supergrass, Beta Band, Shed Luis. always does of course over the last Seven, Ed Harcourt, Simian, Dog, weekend of June, Friday 28 - Tricky, One Minute Silence, Reef, What’s the damage? Sunday 30 June. Tickets are £100 ADF, Therapy, Gorky’s Zygotic including booking fee and are Mynci, Sick of it All, Jello Biafra, Tickets are £35 per day and are available from www.glastonbury- Capdown, Guttermouth, Randy, available from the following out- festivals.co.uk/2002/tickets The Scuttle, Hundred Reasons, Sahara lets: line-up is officially being kept Hotknives, Kids Near Water, Little www.essentialfestival.com (no under wraps until all tickets have 10, My Deaf Audio, Rocket From booking fee if bought from this sold out but acts tipped to play The Crypt, Alec Empire, Add N to site), Bristol Ticket Shop: 01179 are: The Charlatans, Rod Stewart, X, Dirtbombs, International Noise 299008, Replay Records 01179 Pete Townshend, Pink Floyd, No Concpiracy, Levellers, Six By 041134, Ticketmaster 0870 53 444 Doubt and Oasis. It’s Jason Pierce’s Seven, Coral and Leaves. 444, selected HMV stores. favourite festival you know.

Monday - Roots Day For up to the date information This years Reading and Leeds fes- visit the essential festival website tivals will take place on the 23-25 James Brown, De La Soul, ADF, www.essentialfestival.com or call August. Tickets are not yet on sale Herbaliser, Biz Markie, Rahzel, the info-line: 09068 230190 (calls but rumoured acts playing on the Doug E Fresh, Hi and Mighty, cost 60p min). weekend are Blur, Foo Fighters, Cage, Smut Peddlers, Aspects, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and hosted by Tim Westwood, Lee Come on now, what are you wait- Andrew WK. Perry, Culture, Max Romeo, ing for? Johnny Clarke, Levi Roots, Michael Prophet, Pharoah Sanders, Paul Cornwell Courtney Pine, James Taylor For up to date info on all festivals, Quartet, Koop, Snowboy and the go to www.efestivals.co.uk latin Section, Mr Hermano, Afro PAGE 21 22nd March 2002 FILM

A Beautiful Mind Starring: Russell Crowe Directed by: Ron Howard

When I tell you A Beautiful Mind is a biopic of a mathematician who won the Nobel Prize for Economics, seeing it might make your list of things to do just below watching NON- yet another re-run of Last of the Summer Wine. But add the fact that John Forbes Nash, Jr. was also a paranoid schizophrenic who became embroiled in government code-breaking and conspiracy, and it may begin to sound more enticing. And I should probably mention that Nash is played by none other than Russell Crowe. STOP Interested yet? A Beautiful Mind has quite a lot going for it. Crowe is surrounded by a talented supporting cast, including the beautiful Jennifer Connelly as Nash’s wife, Alicia, and in particular Paul Bettany (who you may recognise as being the best thing in last year’s A Knight’s Tale) PARTY as Nash’s college roommate Charles. However, Crowe himself is less satisfying. While he’s capable of portraying the socially awkward aspect of Nash’s personality - a role which has similarities with his cor- porate whistleblower Jeffrey Wigand in The Insider - he still seems slightly too butch for the role, and even Crowe struggles to ANIMALS make Nash sympathetic. He’s sim- ply not a particularly likeable char- 24 Hour Party People eventual demise of the equally acter; despite Nash’s marriage Starring: Steve Coogan, Shirley renowned Hacienda, both run by being pivotal to the movie, it fails Henderson, John Simm Coogan’s character Tony Wilson. to show the audience what it was Directed by: Michael Those of you of the right age and that attracted her to him in the Winterbottom regional origin (30 something and first place. Mancunian, which will pretty much Nevertheless, Nash’s mental dis- discount everybody ever likely to order is portrayed well, and the The ubiquitous cry of ‘A-ha!’ is one read this article) may remember scene in which he formulates his Wilson as the slightly pretentious breakthrough reformulation of that will inevitably follow Steve Tony Wilson (Steve Coogan) and first wife Lindsay (Shirley Coogan around for as long as he “youth” TV presenter for Granada. game theory, based on the best lives. With the ridiculously guile- In the film, Coogan’s Wilson pre- Henderson) livin’ it up at Manchester Town Hall...... way for him and his friends to all less chat-show host Alan Partridge, sides as father figure over the chain get laid, is particularly memorable. Coogan invented one of the defin- of events which includes the for- The movie has enough to maintain ing comedy characters of the mation of one of the greatest joke of this fact, with real life peo- Wilson when I was at school, it an ambivalent curiosity, but 1990s, and with the relative failure bands of all time, Joy Division, ple such as the Buzzcocks Howard was cool to think of him as a bit of doesn’t quite connect emotionally of other personalities (recall the (later to become an Ian Curtis-less Devoto and nutter Mark E. Smith a wanker. But I think history will with its audience. sleazy Tony Ferrino, or last years New Order) as well as the Happy who were there the first time be kinder to Tony than people A Beautiful Mind is Oscar fodder downright awful Dr. Terrible’s Mondays. round making unlikely cameos. In were at the time. He’s a very inter- if ever I saw it, and indeed has gar- House of Horrible), the names 24 Hour Party People is a hedonis- one particular scene, for example, esting person. Flawed like we all nered 8 Academy nominations Coogan and Partridge are almost tic ride through Eighties Devoto pops up to make it clear are but it was better he was there along with a glut of other awards. synonymous. Understandably, Manchester beginning in 1976, that he didn’t really shag Wilson’s than not.’ On one hand, it tells the gritty but then, Coogan seems anxious to when Tony Wilson is at a Sex Pistols first wife Lindsay in the toilets. Tony’s character in the film unde- inspirational story of one man’s throw off the Partridge tag. Last gig. Totally inspired by this pivotal How accurate the film is in its niably has a lot of Steve in it, and triumph over mental illness; on year marked his first foray into the moment, he and partner Rob details, however, is largely irrele- many parts are reminiscent of the other it is a fictionalised world of film with The Parole Gretton set up Factory Records, vant because the sheer atmos- Partridge’s trademark goofiness. account of Nash’s life, which omits Officer. More of a TV movie than a initially signing the shamefully phere of the film, and the Was Tony frightened about seeing the less salubrious elements such cinematic blockbuster the film underrated Durutti Column and Madchester era, makes up for it in part of his life portrayed on the as his dabbling in bisexuality and relies heavily on the Coogan per- later Joy Division and the Happy leaps and bounds. big screen? ‘Not really. A part from arrest for exposing himself in pub- sona and made only a slight Mondays. The rest, as they say, is Steve, as Tony, hails from being played by Steve. I mean I’m lic. The implication that all he impact on the box office. history. Manchester, and coincidentally, a journalist and so I’m not in awe needed was the love of a good Now Coogan is set to return to the Well, sort of history. At an exclu- actually did a couple of stand-up of a lot of famous people. But I am woman seems rather too simplis- big screen with 24 hour party peo- sive press conference with Steve comedy gigs at the Hacienda while in awe of comedians, and Steve in tic and sentimental a conclusion ple, a fictionalised account of the Coogan, Tony Wilson and The Edge he was a student in the late 80s: ‘I particular.’ to a movie that is just a little bit too rise and fall of the Manchester’s in attendance, Tony revealed that knew who Tony was at the time, And awesome his performance gut-wrenchingly all-American and legendary Factory Records, and the film was, to a great extent, fic- and I was into Joy Division. I certainly is. wholesome for its own good. the subsequent emergence and tionalised. The film itself makes a remember the perception of Tony PAGE 22 22nd March 2002 30TH FILM

The Mothman Prophecies mation from the owner’s wife, and most the whole foundation to a Starring Richard Gere, Laura no recollection from Klein, did he film. Linney. arrive in Point Pleasant by coinci- The film claims to be based on a Directed by Mark Pellington dence? true story. If it is true that this is a The next day when he picks up true story, then Klein and the For John Klein (Gere), a Washington his car from the garage, the inhabitants of Point Pleasant have Post journalist, things couldn’t be mechanic tells him nothing is obviously been drinking too much much better. Not only is he a suc- wrong with his car and there is no hippy juice. It’s probably about as cessful journalist for the reason for it breaking down (usu- true as me telling you that by Washington Post but he is also ally they would tell you something reading this article you will gain happily married to wife Mary was wrong with the car even if eternal youth and beauty (I could (Debra Messing). On the way back there wasn’t!). Trying to make be wrong!) from visiting their dream house sense of the circumstances, he After leaving the cinema, I felt which they just agreed to buy, talks to Sergeant Parker and finds none of the emotion one wants Mary crashes the car, avoiding a out from her that there have been from watching films: Being enter- ‘dark creature’ which only Mary several sightings of ‘Mothmen’ in tained, enlightened, excited, sur- could see. She is immediately the area. Is this the explanation for prised, shocked etc. Unfortunately rushed to hospital, where they dis- extraordinary recent events in the I just came out baffled as to the cover she had a brain tumour from area? whole point of ‘The Mothman prior to the accident, possibly This film runs like a mediocre Prophecies’, and wondering what I try and make a war movie about a do we really need a biopic of accounting for the crash. episode of the X-files. It starts off could have done with the two battle that America actually did Muhammad Ali? I can’t argue that Two years later while driving at with a strange occurrence, then hours lost. win, even if they went on to lose he isn’t a worthy subject - he night, Klein mysteriously breaks Klein (taking the place of Mulder), Niall McAuliffe the rest of the war. This is what ‘We fought not only inside the boxing down 400 miles from where he with the help of Sergeant Parker Were Soldiers’ has done, but, the ring but outside it, championing film does not appear to have been thought he was, on the outskirts of (who has the sceptical traits of We Were Soldiers black rights in America in the Scully) tries to investigate it. made with these things in mind. 1960s and 70s. However, given the a small town called Point Pleasant. Starring: Mel Gibson, Madeleine Having not personally read the There is some attempt, more than abundance of documentary foot- When he calls at a nearby house, Stowe book by the same title by John has ever been seen in an American age of the man himself (including he is apprehended by the owner Directed by: Randall Wallace until the local policewoman, Keel, which the film is based on, I based Vietnam film, to show things the acclaimed documentary When don’t know where to point the fin- from the side of the North We Were Kings), could this movie Sergeant Connie Parker (Laura A quick guide on how to make a ger of blame. Gere gives another Vietnamese. At the end of the day add anything to our perception of Linney) arrives. When asked why Hollywood Vietnam war film: average performance to add to his the message that I gained is that him? he seized Klein, the homeowner String orchestral music (preferably long list, and the supporting cast all soldiers, no matter what coun- The answer, it seems, is yes. Will states that Klein has appeared at something stirring and inspiring); do their best. The main problem is try they come from, are basically Smith gives the performance of his their house at the same time for check, lots of helicopters flying to the script, which is first and fore- the same. Unfortunately, while this career as Ali, from his victory the past three nights. With confor- said string music; check, helicop- was a very good idea, like so many against Sonny Liston in 1964 when ters landing in dust; check, an other things in this film, it doesn’t he took the World Heavyweight impossible battle for the sit quite right. There was too much title for the first time (then as Americans; check, a tough drill of the Vietnamese for them just to Cassius Clay, a name he later sergeant who sees the young sol- be getting a nod from the film- rejected as a slave name and sym- diers through; check, a gung ho makers but not enough that you bol of oppression), concluding young officer who everyone really felt like you gained an insight with the legendary “Rumble in the knows will probably die; check, into them, that the film was a bet- Jungle” fight against George and most importantly, the mes- ter film for it. Likewise the idea of Foreman in 1974. It includes Ali’s sage that friendship between sol- periodically showing the wives of involvement with civil rights fig- diers in war overcomes all bound- the soldiers at home as the soldiers ures like Malcolm X, his refusal to aries and soldiers are always there were fighting was a good idea but fight in the Vietnam War, and his for each other; check. Phew, con- it just didn’t feel quite right for weakness for women (including gratulations, you’ve just managed some reason. his three wives, one of whom is to make a basic film about the Mel Gibson turns in a solid per- played by Smith’s real life missus, Vietnam War. Now, if you were to formance as always, but it feels like Jada Pinkett Smith). put Mel Gibson into a leading role he’s just playing a role he’s played Don’t go to see Ali expecting just in this film, you would probably before, the other main characters a boxing movie. Although it deliv- have made something very simi- are equally solid but again with ers several impressive fight scenes, lar to ‘We Were Soldiers’. nothing to recommend them par- the focus is really on Ali’s life out- Don’t get me wrong here, ‘We ticularly highly. side the ring - that is, the elements Were Soldiers’ is not a particularly At the end of the day this film is captured least in the documentary bad film. Unfortunately it’s not a standard war movie fare, nothing footage. At just over two and a half particularly good one either. more, nothing less. If you’ve seen hours, the movie does drag in However the thing to look at first ‘Platoon’ and want to see some- places, but never enough to get is perhaps the big question which thing with a similar look and feel boring. My main criticism is that everyone who’s reviewed this film but nowhere near as good then the narrative is often disjointed, has tried to answer, ‘Is We Were LOCAL CINEMAS this film is for you. Otherwise I’d jumping from one point in Ali’s Harbour Lights Picture House UGC Soldiers flag waving American say stay away. career to another in a rather disori- patriotism because of the Ocean Village 4 Ocean Way Paul Jones entating way. September the eleventh attacks?’ The supporting cast does what it Southampton S014 Ocean Village Well, like everyone else I have an ought to, namely fading into the Film Info: 023 80234234 Southampton S014 opinion on this too, no it’s not. The background in the light of Smith’s problem that filmmakers are fac- Tel: 0870555132 powerhouse performance. The ing in the aftermath of this tragic exception is an unrecognisable The Phoenix (films every event is that any film which shows Ali Starring: Will Smith Jon Voight as sports journalist Wednesday at Boldrewood) The Odeon Americans doing well, particularly Directed by: Michael Mann Howard Cosell, whose banter with in a military sense will be said to Film Info: [email protected] Leisure World Ali is a high point of the film. be because of these attacks, so Southampton S015 The question I was asking myself However, the movie belongs to making war movies becomes a bit as the cinema lights dimmed and Smith; an Oscar win for him would Tel: 08705050007 of a problem don’t you think? You the opening credits rolled was this: certainly pack a punch, as no black then amplify this effect when you PAGE 23 22nd March FILM

Here’s the rest of those all important nominations....

Best Supporting Actor: Jim Broadbent (Iris) Ethan Hawke (Training Day) Whoopi Goldberg Ben Kingsley (Sexy Beast) (far right) hosts this Ian McKellen (The Lord of the Rings) years Oscars with Jon Voight (Ali) nominations for the likes of Moulin Best Supporting Actress Rouge (right), Shrek Jennifer Connelly ( A Beautiful (or should that be Mind) Hear’say’s Danny, Helen Mirren (Gosford Park) below) and Amelie. Maggie Smith (Gosford Park) Marisa Tomei (In the Bedroom) Kate Winslet (Iris)

Achievement in Cinematography: Amelie Black Hawk Down The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring The Man Who Wasn’t There Moulin Rouge

Best Foreign Language Film: Amelie (France) Elling (Norway) Lagaan (India) ust as we return home for a stage -think James Cameron - mak- Oscar nominations for ‘best actor’, win for her portrayal of the British No Man’s Land (Bosnia and well-deserved Easter break, ing the Oscars a bit more exciting. which this year could almost be ‘singleton’ in Bridget Jones’s Diary, Herzegovina) Hollywood will have yet Although Lord of the Rings has 13 renamed as ‘actor playing the men- while there is still Halle Berry also Son of the Bride (Argentina) another huge, if not entirely nominations it’s not quite standing tally challenged’, one of which is with a surprise nomination for a well deserved, party. However, out from the rest, since A Beautiful Russell Crowe, for his portrayal of more serious role in Monster’s Ball. this is not just any affair, Mind and Moulin Rouge are both John Nash in A Beautiful Mind. The absence of a nomination for Best Original Song: because on the 24th March, at its close with 8 nominations each, Crowe has so far received a BAFTA Nicole Kidman’s role in The Others ‘If I Didn’t Have You’ (Monsters new home in the Kodak Theatre in Gosford Park has 7, and films such as well as a Golden Globe for this is also a shock, especially since it is Inc., Randy Newman) Los Angeles, Whoopi Goldberg will as the French smash-hit Amelie role, but the Academy may well for this role that she was nominat- ‘May It Be’ (The Lord of the Rings, be hosting the 74th Academy and In the Bedroom have a fair few decide instead to give the award to ed for both a BAFTA and a Golden Enya) Awards. Now, if you don’t consider as well. In addition, it looks likely Will Smith for his role in Ali, or Globe. ‘There You’ll Be’ (Pearl Harbour, this to be a party, then I’m sure the that there could well be a repeat of again for another mentally disa- Also ignored by the Oscars was Diane Warren) numerous parties that follow will last year’s surprise, with the ‘best bled role, Sean Penn for his role in I The Shipping News, the Indian for- ‘Until’ (Kate and Leopold, Sting) make up for this idea. Unfortunately, picture’ and the ‘best achievement Am Sam. Also nominated are eign language film Monsoon ‘Vanilla Sky’ (Vanilla Sky, Paul I like many other people will be in directing’ awards going to differ- Denzel Washington for Training Wedding and The Man Who Wasn’t McCartney) left out from the event, not just ent films. Day and Tom Wilkinson for In the There which received only one physically but also from the 2am This year, Ridley Scott has been Bedroom. nomination. However, there has Best Adapted onwards viewing, since the BBC nominated for best director again, Likewise, the ‘best actress’ award been a new category added; ‘Best has lost the rights to transmit the along with David Lynch (for is quite unpredictable. Sissy Animated feature film of the Year’, Screenplay: Academy Awards and so there will Mulholland Drive) while Moulin Spacek seems to be a favourite which includes only 3 films, but A Beautiful Mind only be Jonathan Ross telling us Rouge and In the Bedroom have with In the Bedroom, but there is the battle will be between Monsters Ghost World who won what etc. Obviously, the only been nominated for best pic- also Judi Dench, who has been Inc. and Shrek, both of which have In the Bedroom BBC and I don’t have the same ture but not for best director, which very popular with the judges in the continued to improve the genre The Lord of the Rings ideas on what the Oscars are does not happen often at the past. Could she get another Oscars started by films such as Toy Story. Shrek about. I wanted to see the stars Academy. The three that have both for her role in Iris? So this year, I hope that the walking down the red carpet, the nominations are Gosford Park, A Spacek won the Golden Globe for Academy Awards won’t disappoint Best Original outrageous clothes, the glamour, Beautiful Mind and The Lord of the best actress in a drama, while Judi with their many surprises. Awards the tension as the envelopes are Rings. With The Lord of the Rings Dench won the corresponding will be given out by the likes of Screenplay: Amelie slowly opened, the laughter and not seeming like such an obvious award in the BAFTAS. It could be a Cameron Diaz, Julia Roberts and Gosford Park screams, and the unnecessarily choice anymore, both the best pic- matter of national identity that the Russell Crowe, and there is a per- Memento long speeches. ture and the best director awards Oscars will not get involved in, and formance by Sting. Hopefully there Monster’s Ball This year, unlike others, there are very much open and look set to simply award Nicole Kidman for will be the odd swan dress or a The Royal Tenenbaums doesn’t seem to be one clear win- remain a mystery until the night. Moulin Rouge instead… Renee vintage Valentino to catch every- ner that will keep getting up on What comes as no surprise is the Zellweger looks pretty unlikely to one’s attention, but unfortunately

PAGE 24 Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 37 Heaven and.... Rebecca Williams on the mattresses as they too are fix the problems. Costs incurred by brand new. I would go on but you us, as tenants, were fully reimbursed would begin to think I was boasting. on his return without any quibble or Our home and landlord is testament, delay. Since then there has been The heaven of housing the often a shining example, that not all stu- cause for him to spend another day over looked category of student dent housing is cause for complaint mending a leaking pipe. We called landlords: the respectable land- unusual though it may sound. him on the Sunday evening to report lord. The type that provide housing our suspicions of a leak and he which is clean and worth the amount Whenever we have needed our land- promptly arrived the next day. of rent being asked for. I know they lord to fix problems in our house he exist; I am speaking as a student that has been there the next day; a much It is true that there are unscrupulous has a landlord of this variety, a land- better response time than the ten to landlords out there taking money of lord who responds when you have a four weeks experienced by some us students for accommodation problem with his property and that I know of. Over the New Year unworthy of the rats that live there responds with a friendly smile. we experienced a leak in the bath- with the students. From such people room and a lack of heating and hot you are lucky to get any servicould This is probably because we live in water. Not a good situation to be in get a landlord that gives a prompt a house described by many of our but despite being on holiday in service with a smile, they do exist, I friends as ‘a show home’, with a France at the time the landlord cared know one. brand new bathroom, a brand new enough to call us every day and to kitchen and no inexplicable stains call plumbers he knew to come and ....Hell of Housing

Emily Stone we had an unexpected and very plywood down it! A few days, we unwelcome infestation of rats. were told, before our landlord could The Hell of housing: Yes... rats! Even Environmental fix the lock that fell off of our front “It’s £208 per person, per month Health advised us to move out! door a fortnight ago. But what were and your soul for eternity...” Seem And for our extortionate living we supposed to do in the mean a bit over the top? Maybe not as expenses, what did our landlord do time? Leave it wide open day and I reveal the real truth about land- about it? Absolutely nothing! But night?! We can’t even threaten to lords. we weren’t surprised; it’s become deduct some money from the rent all too common. When it takes two for such payments, we’re contractu- What does a first year look for in a months and four pestering phone ally bound by law to pay each potential student house for the next calls to get my Landlord to lay month and they know it! year at least? Big bedrooms? A some lino in a bathroom you can nice garden? Spacious lounge? Or hardly swing a cat in, we weren’t Most landlords in sunny just plenty of cupboard space for expecting miracles. Southampton own multiple proper- the Vodka? The reality can be very ties and although my maths is worst different. So why are we being taken for a than most, that’s a lot of cash! It’s ride? The fact of the matter is that about time we reaped some benefits Some landlords charge the earth for they are in it for all they can get. for the selling of our souls! So lis- what can only be described as hell! From my house alone, my Landlord ten up all you students... when Damp, rot, mould, rat infestations? makes a whopping £1456 each you’re looking for a shared house, I’ve had it all and it has certainly month, and the rent is going up next be aware... very aware, of this dan- opened my eyes to the truth! We year! gerous species! pay in excess of two hundred pounds a month each and what do So what rights do we actually have? Make sure you read your contract our landlords do for us? They moan In short, none! Take my own con- through and check all the necessi- about the mess, take almost all our tract, for example, all but two of the ties before signing your life away! loan in rent, rarely do repairs and never-ending terms lay down our (Not to mention your bank bal- when they do, it’s on the cheap! obligations. But what does the ance!) At the end of the day, every- landlord have to do for us? Ok, so thing is too much trouble for our Debt is our new middle name and he has to keep the house in a “habit- landlords so my advice would be to rent, the reoccurring topic of our able state” but what an earth does ensure that the house you choose nightmares! So when money domi- that mean?! Obviously my rats requires as little contact with them nates the life of today’s student, weren’t in the equation when his as possible! They are our worst what do we actually get for it? idea of “covering up the hole in the enemy and the bane of our student Recently, in my own student house, bedroom” was to shove a piece of lives! PAGE 38 Wessexscene.co.uk Thank - less Should we Finally Bury the Ailing NHS? Social Workers

Verity James

Open a daily newspaper to find YESNO yet another picture of a social worker, “home wrecker” plas- tered all over the front page. Do Tessa Hodge Harriet Wailling Alistair Nelson Katheirne Butler you ever think to question whether social workers really deserve this negative image the media give them Those of us who have grown up The British are very good at wait- Over the recent years the British There is no doubt that our NHS in their desperate search for a good with the safety net of state-provided ing. Whether its at the checkout or public has been bombarded with system of health care is struggling. story? health care are appallingly grateful. getting on a bus, it seems we are NHS horror stories, pictures of Patients are waiting on an average Every day hundreds of people do more than happy to wait our turn. patients lying on trolleys in hospital of three months to be seen by a The answer is probably no, in fact not even bother turning up to their But what if something happened to corridors because of bed shortages, doctor and following this approxi- most people probably believe what NHS appointments, do not even one of us? What if something hap- people with life threatening diseases mately 18 months for any required they read, for if it is printed in black bother phoning to explain their pened and you needed an operation, having to wait years before they are operations. But is privatisation and white it must be true, right? absence. This behaviour is virtually perhaps not a life saving operation, actually operated on... isn’t it time really the answer? unheard of in the private sector but one that would dramatically the NHS was ditched in favour of a However most readers misconcep- when individuals must pay for improve your lifestyle so you could fully privatised system? In the case In the January of this year, Ken tions derive from their own igno- missed appointments be free of pain or discomfort again? of this particular writer the answer Livingstone made a strong argu- rance How can people judge a social Would you be content to be put on a is a resounding no. The service ment against privatisation of worker when they don’t know any- The principle should be simple; if waiting list to wait for months or clearly has its problems but in prin- Britain’s health care. He explains thing about their profession? Let me you can afford to pay for medical even years ? ciple the NHS is the envy of the that the government’s proposals to enlighten you. First of all most social workers aren’t even involved insurance then you should. Drugs world. Where else can you find a hold down taxes and public-sector in child protection issues, there are should be free to those on low Everyone knows someone on a health service that is free for every- investment would mean that the many areas of social work Social incomes and supplied at cost price waiting list for an operation. I know body, that offers the same excep- only way to reform the NHS would workers can work with any vulner- to the most affluent. I see no way two. One is waiting for a knee tional standard regardless of finan- be to privatise it. This he says able group in society; from disabled forward for the NHS in its present operation so she can run again with- cial income? The people of this would be “disastrous.” Livingstone children to the elderly and from form. The harsh truth is that the out her knee popping out of its country will moan, and they may brings to light the importance of drug abusers to education welfare. average taxpayer can no longer socket. The other waits for an oper- have the right to, but the fact is we investment as opposed to privati- Teams that help disabled children, contribute enough to cover their ation to stop the sporadic attacks of are better off than the majority of sation. There must be a far greater for example, experience a very dif- care in old age. pain in her stomach. Both waiting people in this world. Firstly, the investment into the NHS to pro- ferent kind of reality than the stere- lists are months long. Yet waiting NHS is not in quite the state that the vide an adequate number of beds otypical reaction of people hiding It is clear that this lumbering health- lists could be severely shortened, papers would have you believe. and medical staff. There is no rea- behind the curtain and not opening care system, more paperwork than from months to days, if the NHS From a personal point of view, I son why this will automatically the door to a meddling social work- patient care, is not the way forward. was privatised. have yet to have any of my close follow privatisation. We are in danger of becoming a relatives die from an NHS mistake. er. Clients approach them instead, After speaking to a local GP about actually asking for help and resourc- two-tier society as far as health is The word ‘privatisation’ often caus- the NHS issue he brought to light The second point I want to highlight es. Social workers have the power concerned. Already, many corpora- es a knee jerk reaction. It conjures another problem with privatising is fact that the alternative would be to make their lives easier, not more tions offer health packages to their up Thatcherism and the 80’s, yet a the NHS. He felt that that health worse. Private health means PMI complicated. The stereotypical view employees and, much as parents opt private health care really wouldn’t care could become more finan- (private medical insurance) and it’s of social workers is far from the out of state education, families are be that bad. If the whole of the cially orientated so that for exam- a well-known fact that insurance truth and the reality. According to opting out of state healthcare. health care sector was privatised ple whether a patient would companies want to scam you for fundamental principles and philoso- then individuals would have to pay, required a operation could depend every penny they can get. BUPA phies, stated in “The Children Act,” Perhaps we should look at a system yes, but nowhere near as much as more on money than on how it of state-subsidised, means-tested may appear to have your best inter- social workers believe in “working you would have to fork out if you would benefit the patient. together” to protect children, not health insurance rather than a ‘went private’ while the NHS is still ests at heart but lets face it, their directly state funded hospital and priority is profit. If you have a By keeping the country’s health splitting families apart. If this is not in operation. An individual’s health possible, the social workers role is primary care model. At the begin- would be paid, such as in the health problem, for example asth- care under the government’s con- ning of the 21st century, it is time to ma, then this will automatically trol means that we essentially have crucial, who else is going to protect Netherlands, through a health insur- an innocent child facing abuse? take a bold step and take an alarm- ance so everyone would pay a little raise your insurance premium - the more control of it. The govern- ingly shortsighted approach to the NHS does not discriminate in this ment knows that they are answer- each year and then if and when we Why should social workers mis- NHS so we will just limp on until needed it, the service would be way. We are a modern society and able to the public and their NHS another man with a vision continues as such should offer health care on Plan of July 2000 highlights this. takes be headline news anyway? there without paying a penny more. Other professionals do not have to the work started by Aneurin Bevan And you wouldn’t have to wait for the basis of need not wealth. We are They have lots of targets for after the Second World War. often informed that the US has an improvements such as increasing face such regular criticism and months to get a normal lifestyle humiliation? Has anyone ever back. excellent health service, this may be staff and minimising waiting times. If the state is providing a service for so but only to those who can afford With the establishment of a new thought that it is only because their free, demand will always outstrip it, what about the people who Modernisation Board designed to job is so challenging and important supply. can’t? ensure these targets are fulfilled, that if they do make a mistake it’s the future of the NHS looks on the front page? Is it fair even to bright. judge professionals working under extreme pressure, under paid often working over time in understaffed We wish to emphasise that the views in this column are not necessarily those of the writers, the WSX editor, the Wessex Scene in general or the teams with insufficient resources, Union’s. The intention of Devil’s advocate is to encourage debate and discussion for the sake of argument. heavy work loads and inadequate training and the negative image of Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 39 Thank - less The Sickness ‘Not Enough of Beauty Disabled People’ Edlin Mickey Revolutionary plans have been unveiled for a supermarket to be located on a brown town site in Social Workers Social inequality is a nagging issue London. The store is to include such on the public agenda, begging to be design features as special disabled taken seriously by critics and pun- child protection work in general? It only tills which can be lowered by dits alike. Many organisations are up to two feet, and a unique inclined seems that in order to help the beginning to see the potential oppressed social workers have to shop floor which facilitates the flow rewards of pandering to pressure of wheelchairs and trolleys alike. put themselves in that position in over the special treatment of minor- the eyes of the media The car park is set to feature new ity social groups. Leading public spherical parking methodology It may be worth taking a relations and marketing company closer look at the case of the tragic which has generated significant Lawton PR describes Customer interest as every space is equidistant death of Victoria Climbie, abused Equality Management as the next by her great aunt and step uncle from the entrance. The efforts made big thing in customer relations, and have been well received as a posi- Victoria died on 25 February 2000 businesses seen to be considerate to from neglect and hypothermia, aged tive step toward unilateral equality minority groups are held in high though many black spots still exist. eight years old. In a blame culture opinion in the eyes of the consum- the accusing finger was immediate- Supermarkets are not the sole area Sarah Cooper disorders, which affect women in er. ly pointed at the social workers affected by questionable levels of particular. involved. Newspapers were full of Tesco was one of the first supermar- equality; the public sector is also reports of the “failure” and “incom- Everybody needs food to survive. kets to jump on the bandwagon by under the spotlight and facing Anorexia is simply a loss of appetite petence” of social worker Lisa But for some people, food can introducing several new policies increasing scrutiny from all quar- from any cause, whereas anorexia Arthurworrey and child protection become an overwhelming and that echo this current fad. The gro- ters. nervosa is characterised by deeper officer Karen Jones Lisa. destructive force that can com- cery giant has recently been con- psychological problems, such as an The media billed ‘postcode lottery’ Arthurworreys legal representative pletely dominate their thoughts, demned for its move to significantly intense fear of g aining weight or with regards to public services is a warned the inquiry that the recruit- feelings and actions. People can reduce the number of parking bays becoming obese. Other symptoms contentious issue in the debate over ment and retention problems blight- be said to have an eating disorders allocated to the disabled. A long of anorexia nervosa include a dis- equality. The government has com- ing social services departments when their life revolves around standing employee is quoted as say- torted body image, leading to a missioned a white paper to investi- nationally will not improve unless food and they take extreme meas- ing “There just aren’t enough disa- restricted diet and sometimes, gate the notion that the catchment people were more realistic about ures to control what they eat. bled people” in relation to their excessive exercise. Patients also area for any particular service what a front line social worker can current car parking conundrum. The should be linked to its performance. We are constantly bombarded with tend to believe themselves to be fat, be expected to do. She argued that spaces are to be reassigned to other The proposal suggests that a suc- conflicting messages regarding even when a significant weight loss the failure of the North Middlesex customer groups, notably Parent cessful GP ought to service patients image and diet. In the past few has occurred. Hospital to pass on all its concerns and Child, and Heavy Duty from a larger area, though sceptics years, eating disorders have been Bulimia is characterised by extreme was crucial to Arthurworreys han- Shoppers. The issue gains further say the scheme will result in doctors placed in the spotlight, as the media over-eating, especially of fatty and dling of the case. Jane Hoyal said momentum when we find that recent indulging in unnecessary operations have concurred that being “stick sweet foods. It is more difficult to neither the police nor the hospital customer surveys were conducted that will be deliberately conducted thin” is both dangerous and presents notice however, because there is not should have expected Arthurworrey questioning whether it would be poorly. This will be detrimental to a damaging role model for young a significant weight loss. Patients to carry out their duties, comment- beneficial to go a step further and their performance rating and hence people. Hypocritically however, with bulimia often ‘binge’ and then ing that “Lisa Arthurworrey is not a make allocations for ethnic minori- reduce their workload despite the the weight of models does not get rid of the intake by vomiting or pediatrician, detective or psychia- ties and even so far as dedicated threat of what has been dubbed appear to have changed. using laxatives. trist yet other agencies have sought spaces for homosexuals. Many com- ‘Small Catchment Syndrome’. to shield behind her back” mentators have spoken out with the The main health problems associat- Don’t give social workers This “thin is beautiful” image may notion that this is socio-equality The continuing developments show ed with anorexia is the discontinu- a bad name, for if the jobs remain be a contributing factor to the overkill and there is no need for no signs of abating in pursuing the ance of the menstrual cycle, dry undesirable to those with the quali- number of people with eating disor- such heavy handed discrimination lucrative egalitarian ideal which skin, the thinning of the hair, diffi- fications to carry them out whom ders. The waif-like ideal promoted against normal people. An Asda they strive to achieve. It is worth- culty in sleeping and concentrating, will, or can, help our vulnerable through the media can put pressure spokesperson responded to the while considering the implications depression, constantly feeling cold, children? Social workers do an on women of all ages to diet, some- move by saying “Equality hasn’t of these measures and question brittle bones and weakened mus- excellent, and sometimes-dangerous times to excess. Numerous other gone too far because there’s always whether they will ultimately help in cles. job, helping others, not getting paid triggers of eating disorders may going to be different sorts of people, making the world a better, fairer Health problems related to bulimia enough for the work they do. Society include upsetting events, such as so how can equality even think place. Is it right that we have boys may be harder to detect because the can at least acknowledge them by divorce, difficult family relation- about happening?” as young as eight being forced to weight will probably remain con- giving social workers the respect ships, stress, overwork, anxiety, sistent. However, one may observe they deserve. If the public’s’ percep- depression, severe pain, digestive a puffy face, swollen fingers, mus- tion of social workers weren’t so disorders such as gastritis, liver cle weakness, stomach pains, long- negative, maybe more young people disease, kidney failure or cancer. term constipation and tooth decay, would enter such a worthwhile and Some prescription drugs can also caused by the stomach acid brought challenging career effect eating habits, such as opiates and those used to treat high blood up when vomiting, which attacks pressure and heart failure. As well the tooth enamel. as these environmental and biologi- cal explanations, it is thought that Many people throughout the UK, some psychological factors may and the world suffer from eating influence patients, such as an disorders, however they can be unwillingness to grow up, as they overcome with sufficient medical appear to be trying to retain their and psychological attention. If you childhood shape. Some people are worried about any of the issues simply suffer from a fatness phobia, discussed, you can find out more by and some people have a lack of contacting: self-esteem, and find that they have Internet: www.bupa.com power over what they eat. Anorexia Telephone: NHS Direct on 0845 and bulimia are two common eating 4647 PAGE 40 Wessexscene.co.uk Driving Introducing the definitive new review feature, Driving Ambition, Adam Charlton and Harvey Longstaff will give you the highs and lows of student wrecks around the campus! If you want your wreck to be put under the microscope contact us at [email protected]

The Ford Fiesta has been around Saturday boy at McDonalds. The the enjoyment of a roller coaster. since the invention of the wheel, non-adjustable steering column may Review: making it a permanent part of the cause midget drivers problems. The This really is the peak of Italian British landscape. main redeeming feature of the Ford design. Described as practical, func- Extras: is that with so many on the road tional and unpretentious, now that Rust comes as standard on left they are dirt cheap to buy. If all you really is Italian isn’t it! Id rather wing. Go faster stripes on some want is to get to lectures on time describe it as about as exciting as later models may conceal this. whilst securing a much needed lie- watching an OAP’s bowls match. In Ford Fiesta Rattling radio that supplies sound in then this is the car for you. Just Fiat Uno a recent maths exam I was so bored Price: quality only slightly better than a don’t enter any street races because Price: £70-£300 I started doodling, and within a few £300-£500 gramophone. the Fiesta is likely to be overtaken 0-60mph: seconds I realised I had drawn some 0-60mph: Review: by a hearse. 17 seconds downhill with the boxes. “So what” I hear you say, but Undetermined. (Insufficient space The Ford Fiesta is the classic stu- wind. with a few tweaks a Fiat Uno on The Avenue to reach 60mph.) dent car. Cheap to buy and cheap to Overall: ** Top speed: appeared in front of me on the page. Top Speed: insure. It is also popular among Not attempted due to dodgy The designers actually got PAID for 45mph ( Fears for personal safety aspiring boy and girl racers who brakes. this! Makes you think. The soft sus- cut short this test as some breaking think putting a ‘phat’ exhaust on the Gearbox: pension will provide a smooth ride up did occur. Duck tape was required back and exchanging the rear seats “The fiesta has Four speed. If you’re lucky reverse. but almost certainly ensures projec- to secure door panel.) for speakers will somehow make Later models may have an extra tile vomiting in tight turns, which Gearbox: the car look good. (Why not save less get up and gear just as a spare. Lets face it, you may obscure the driver’s visibility. Four speed gearbox. Shift requires the money wasted on stupid acces- won’t get to fifth anyway. Apart from looking like a modified two hands and possibly the aid of sories and buy a better car!?!) As far go than a Image: cardboard box it does have some the passenger. About as smooth as as wrecks go this is certainly one of Italian design, a tad eighties I feel. plus points. Cheap insurance and Prince Philip at a gay rights conven- the most sluggish. With a poor top Saturday boy at Not likely to be popular with the reasonably reliable if serviced prop- tion. speed and acceleration, the Fiesta ladies. erly. What more could you ask for, has less get up and go than a McDonalds.” Extras: we are students after all. Image: Super soft suspension gives you all Overall: * Easing Congestion or Just a Money Making

Ian Joyner & bal positioning systems and drivers in traffic will lead to less accidents, public that the revenue would be cles? Will there be a standard tax Adam Charlton charged for sitting on congested less money to maintain roads and channelled back into public trans- rate imposed on all drivers, or will it roads. The Government plans intend shorter journey times. Though on port? be varied according to engine size Plans being presented by the to reduce road congestion by almost paper this may seem an idyllic The Government’s goal of a ten- and emissions? Government’s transport commis- half without creating an increasing future scenario, in practice, will year period in which to install this How accurate will the system be in sion mean that the cars of the future tax burden. This will be achieved by such a scheme actually be effec- system highlights the practicality calculating how much you owe for will be monitored via satellite glo- abolishing road tax and reducing tive? issues of installing a global posi- fuel duties. In theory the reduction sitting in traffic? The main purpose of the project will be to reduce congestion by “Can we live in a Has the Government’s transport forcing people to find alternatives free and demo- commissioner been watching too for travelling, as it will be too much of Enemy of the State, or per- expensive to take the same journey cratic society haps an avid fan of Big Brother. Can by car. However, people currently when the we live in a free and democratic journey by car due to the lack of society when the Government can available and efficient public trans- Government can have access to the location of your port facilities, which offer no com- have access to car at any time? Surely this raises parison to the convenience of a car. serious issues about the freedom of Moreover, increasing taxes to dis- the location of the individual. courage car use has proven to be your car at any Everyone is aware of the need to ineffective in the past. Witness the reduce congestion, but surely the ever increasing fuel duty having lit- time?” focus of this particular scheme is tle or no effect on the numbers of wrong. Instead of trying to reduce car users on Britain’s roads. tioning system to every car in the country. Car ownership is increas- the number of cars on the road, we Even if such a scheme were to be ing in Britain, so therefore how will should ensure that those cars that successful in its goals to decrease the system be applied to such an are on the road are powered by driver numbers, how would today’s ever-increasing number of cars, and alternative, less polluting forms of ailing public transport system be energy other than fossil fuels. Is this able to cope with such an influx of how much will this cost? How will commuters? More importantly, the system be transferred from car just another Government money- could the Government assure the to car when people buy or sell vehi- making scheme to extort more money from the tax-paying, car driving, public? Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 41

unwittingly stolen from outside the Royal South Hampshire Hospital with an elderly passenger aboard. Fraud of When the thief realised he had com- pany, he gave the 89-year-old man a lift back home. Page Appalling as these events all are, Tinsel Town Southampton still has relatively low crime rate by comparison to other Alex Moss award is eligible to vote in the UK cities and aside from a little Oscars. Fairly simple right? Wrong. extra caution than would be applied Hollywoo politically driven place, if living in a Cornish village, I do Once again the Academy Awards, and filmmaking is a political tool not feel current or prospective stu- better known as the Oscars, are dents should be worrying too much. three with the added bonus of huge wads upon us. Russell Crowe has of sweaty cash. Indeed David In fact the University would do bet- received his third consecutive best Lynch’s film Mulholland Drive ter to worry about improving actor nomination (after being nomi- would appear to be commenting Southampton’s nightlife as a way of nated for The Insider, Gladiator and directly on the corruptness of attracting students. this years A Beautiful Mind), but far Hollywood (amazing then that it more importantly the love of my has received nominations this Yours truly, life since I was 10 years old and year). first saw Labyrinth, Jennifer is too Julian Gavaghan Connelly is up for best supporting Back in 1998 a small film called actress (A Beautiful Mind). And Shakespeare in Love was nominat- let’s be honest what a year in films ed for best film, indeed it went onto Beryl is it’s been? Harry Potter came and is win the Oscar. Less than Please send all unfortunately for many of us still a month after however around. The Lord of the Rings rumors were circulating letters to: the proved that you can make a breath- that the votes had either tame! taking film out of one of the most been rigged or the voters [email protected] loved books ever written. Brad and bribed. The Wienstien Wessex George shared the screen (all thanks brothers (heads of Dear Editor to the almighty pulling power Miramax, the studio who of Steven Soderbergh’s produced the film) Scene I am writing to express my disap- Ocean’s 11), and most were accused of Is society pointment at your previous issue’s shocking of all Will offering the page three which, to be completely Dear Editor Smith the original voters either honest, was extremely tame. In fact, Fresh Prince himself as money or, much I think my grandmother shows more Please pass on my sentiments to grabbed himself a best more valuable in beginning cleavage when she goes to bingo. Beryl, the ‘mature agony aunt’, for actor nomination for the vane world of What should be a display of gratui- continuing to provide encouraging Ali. movies, lucrative tous nudity was actually three and informative advice to her vari- c o n t r a c t s . moody girls wearing glossed up bin ous troubled readers. I am a mature The Oscars has always Eventually the to liners. Someone needs to a) tell student and have found that by been a much loved award rumors were dis- them to cheer up and b) tell them to implementing many of her sugges- ceremony for film fans, wheth- missed, but as they get naked. The idea of a page three tions in my lifestyle, I find I live a er you’re a budding director or always say there is is a great idea, but it might as well a wannabe actor. The Oscars crumble? relatively carefree life. Could you be scrapped altogether if it is not never smoke without please send me her address so I can always mean glamour and glitz fire. done properly, or as a regular fea- and some of the most stunning Dear Editor thank her personally for such an ture in the Wessex Scene. Surely in Southampton: Quiet, leafy and just outstanding service to the university women on the planet dressing So is this sort of occur- our sexually liberated society you possibly a little dull? This is the community. Perhaps you could con- up in the smallest dresses ever rence regular in Tinsel can give your audience what they impression I have been given during vince Beryl to do a full-page spread made. Town? Well possibly want. More flesh! Then perhaps we my time here. Of course some of for page 3? can all relieve a bit of pent up exam not to this extent but the you may be overwhelmed by what But take a step back form this voters of the Academy frustration. much loved occasion and ask seems like a fast-paced, cosmopoli- Yours in anticipation, do not always vote for tan, urban extravaganza. yourself: what is it all about? who they believe has acted, Frustrated To many the Oscars is a time Nevertheless, what is all this talk A. Partridge directed, sung or danced about the recent increase in crime to honour the work of film- the best. makers all over the world we are all hearing about? and, much as this journalist So many of the voters are hates to say it, give The last edition of the Wessex Scene tied to certain studios, was headlined with ‘Campus Crime Hollywood a great big pat on whether that be through the back by...err themselves. Capers’. This newspaper exposed contract or simply through the lax security at many of the The way the Oscars works is, preference (i.e. who is going on the surface anyway, very University’s halls of residence. It to pay them the most for their was also alleged that the University democratic. Anyone who has next movie) resulting in the ever been nominated for an has been using underhand methods votes being far from fair. to ‘avoid a reputation of crime that could result in a lowering of admis- sions’.

Outside of the student scene there was a man found dead in his house on Portswood Road, which the Police are still investigating. Also Hampshire Constabulary is aware of an increase in illegal car-dump- ing. Some of you may have noticed two cars that have been permanently residing in Safeway’s car park for quite some time now for example, as well in other locations across the city. The most recent crime incident that has taken my interest though concerns a hospital-car, which was PAGE 42 Wessexscene.co.uk

Well, this is the last time I’ll be all the interesting, mad and ... pretty leading you through the exciting weird things that some of us like to happenings of our clubs and socs. get up to in our spare time. Adios Sarah is taking over after Easter so amigos, contact her with all your latest Fiona xxx news on [email protected]. Hope you’ve enjoyed reading about Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 43

Don’t be a local... Another Get a Young Person’s Railcard and get Three Extra Months! Video el, you’re likely to recoup the cost or authorised Student Travel Office Five lucky readers could in one long journey. with * A passport-sized photo of your- skip the cost altogether Giveaway! But the best perk of all is that you self by winning one of the 5 With the University year in full get the FREEDOM to spend your * A completed application swing, you’re probably wondering Young Persons’ time and money the way you form (you can pick one up where time (and money) has gone. want! when you are there) Railcards which the All those promises to see more of together with £18 your friends and family from else- Wessex Scene can exclu- Further details are * Proof that you are where in the country have become sively give away! available at either 16 - 25 years unaffordable dreams. But money www. old or a mature need not be an issue with the help of student aged If you could go any- a Young Persons Railcard. There 26 or over in has never been a better time to buy full time where on a train, where one, as any Young Persons educa- would you go and who Railcard bought or renewed tion before 18th May 2002 * Or would you go with? will be valid for 15 you can months rather than the buy one over Email your answers (no standard 12. the phone. more than 50 words) A Young Persons Railcard is to: great for helping your money go Call National Rail Enquires on a little bit further. So once you’ve 0845 7 48 49 50 for the telesales exhausted your student loan, you number of your local Train competitions@ A HISTORICAL can still get out and about for less, Company ensuring you really won’t be ‘a wessexscene.co.uk MASTERPIECE: youngper- * If you buy your Young Persons local’. THE MUSIC OF ANDREW sons- railcard.co.uk Railcard before 18th May 2002, LLOYD WEBBER IN CHINA your card will be valid for 15 Good Luck!! A Young Persons Railcard offers * TO BUY a Young Persons months instead of the normal 12. one-third off most rail fares in It was a truly historic and pioneer- Railcard all you need to do is go Britain and at the bargain price of ing show - an unprecedented down to your local staffed railway £18 for 15 months discounted trav- achievement in Sino-British cultural station, rail appointed Travel Agent relations. Andrew Lloyd Webber was invited by the Ministry of Culture to present Musical Theatre to the people of Beijing. After a year of hard work and co-operation between the China Performing Arts Agency and The Really Useful www.hotrecruit.com - the the work for you, finding the Group, Masterpiece - The Music Of UK’s definitive job site for best jobs suited to your needs Andrew Lloyd Webber was staged young people in you area! to sell out audiences in The Great Hall of the People in Tiananmen hotrecruit.com is the UK’s hotrecruit are giving away Square last September. leading temporary, full and five toasty fleeces (worth £40 This spectacular musical extrava- part-time recruitment site for each). ganza broke all boundaries to young people. The site, which become the most ambitious and launched in May 2000, is the To enter this competition innovative western production ever first recruitment site in the simply log on to www. to take place in China in front of a total audience of over 17,700 peo- UK to cater specifically for hotrecruit.com, register with ple. young people, be they stu- the hotAgent service, and dents, recent graduates or forward your welcome email Not to be missed, this exceptional working travellers. They list from hotrecruit to the fol- and compelling Masterpiece - The thousands of positions for lowing address; southamp- Music of Andrew Lloyd Webber is brought to you by VVL video, companies such Marks & tonhotrecruit@hotmail. available to buy on VHS and DVD Spencer, Slug & Lettuce, Bar com, with your name, email (with Making of Documentary - Med, Pret-A-Manager, address and mobile tele- Backstage in Beijing) from March WHSmith, William Hill, Tie phone number by March 4th from Really Useful Films and Rack, Burger King, Alton 30th. The first five entries VCI, at all leading High Street Outlets. Towers, Thorpe Park and drawn on April 1st will win Chessington World of the fleeces! Five lucky winners can get their Adventures, and even better, hands on two DVDs and three our hotAgent service will do VHS copies if they can answer this simple question:

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Is this YOU?? If so, collect £20 from VP Comms on Answers to Level 2, Students Union [email protected] PAGE 44 Wessexscene.co.uk

Ultimate Frisbee is not standing these take place over weekends Although the team is good at their on the beach throwing a Frisbee thought out the year, indoors and chosen sport, the most important back and forth with your friends; outdoors. Usually there will be aspect of the club and the sport in it is a fast moving team sport between 16 and 24 teams at each general, is the social side. Teams enjoyed by thousands the world tournament. Members of teams take great pride in winning the tour- over. from other universities and open nament parties by staying the long- Club captain Ashraf Ali demonstrates the darts from the heart team moto. teams are always friendly, especial- est, drinking the most or in the case The first rule of Darts Club is, corder relaying live pictures of the Invented by students in America in ly at the Saturday night party. An of a recent party, best use of the ‘you do not talk about Darts dart board to the two TV screens the early 1970’s it quickly spread important aspect of Ultimate is Love dice. Even at the party teams Club!’ The second rule of Darts near the bar. The Oxford team around the world. Ultimate is often being able to play on Sunday morn- compete at the infamous 3-pint chal- Club is, ‘NO GIRLS!’ This may turned up to the fixture a little late compared to other team games such lenge. An official size disc can seem quite sexist but its only giving us plenty of time to down a as American foot- contain exactly because girls are generally rub- couple of pints to steady our nerves, ball and netball, 3 pints (try it); bish at darts (only kidding). needless to say when they did final- but in truth it is the Challenge is ly arrive very few of our team of unlike any other for two people The University of Southampton finely tuned, darts playing, athletes sport. FRISBEE to drink the Darts Club was founded just a few were still sober. contents in the months ago by, now president, There are no refe- fastest time Matthew Topper when he realised I could say that our creativity and rees; meaning FRENZY though straws. that no such club existed. At present flair in front of the board won us an games are ruled The Club record the club is relatively small with unlikely victory, but it would be a by the players, under what is called ings with an incredible hangover. is 17 seconds. about twenty members, but as word lie. There were frequent shouts of the “Spirit of the Game”. A skilled of the coolest new AU club is ‘100’, ‘140’ and even ‘180’ while player can throw the disc in any The Southampton team (strangely With the summer fast approaching, spreading we seem to have new the Oxford boys were at the oche, number of different ways, making it called the Skunks) are no strangers now is the best time to learn the members joining each week. we could only respond to these fly straight, or in a curve or hover in to success in tournaments and sport. shouts with scores of ‘7’, ‘26’ and if mid air for a team mate to run recently qualified for the National Last semester we met on a weekly we were very lucky ‘39’. The only onto. Student Outdoors finals and the If you are interested in a sport like basis at The Mitre playing a small shining light in our truly abysmal Indoor Open National finals, plac- no other contact [email protected]. round robin tournament between performance was the stunning vic- The two basic throws can be quick- ing them in the top 24 out of the 140 uk or check www.skunksultimate. randomly selected teams of club tory by one of our more experienced ly taught and the rules are simple, plus teams country wide. Many co.uk for practice times and members. This inaugural tourna- players, and Southampton man of this means beginners can quickly skunks have gone onto national and socials. ment was won by the aptly named the match, Gas. I must admit my get into games and compete in tour- international honours and often help ‘Team 180’, with my team, the own performance was pretty shock- naments. Tournaments are one of in the coaching of the team. Robin Matthews imaginatively named ‘team 3’, fin- ing and I contributed to what turned the best aspects of Ultimate Frisbee; ishing a creditable second out of six out to be an 11-1 thrashing by teams. This semester we have start- Oxford. Nevertheless we all had a ed a new tournament and have also good time and drank enough to started playing friendly matches make us forget, or just not care, that against other universities. The first we had lost. of these matches took place on Sunday 10th February at the We have return fixtures yet to play University of Warwick. I didn’t against Oxford and Warwick and actually go to this match as I had also fixtures against York and pos- other commitments, but I’m assured sibly Glamorgan universities. We a good time was had by all despite still continue to meet at 8:00 pm losing the Match 9-1. upstairs in the Mitre most Tuesdays, so if you think you could be an asset Our first home match took place on to our team come along and speak Wednesday 13th February in the to Topper (the curly haired freak, Sports Bar and was against Oxford you can’t miss him) or alternatively University, who are rumoured to check out our very professional have between two hundred and four looking website at: www.soton.ac. hundred members between their uk/~sudarts. We are always looking twenty or so colleges, we had no for new members and you never chance right from the outset. The know we may even let girls in if sports bar was set up for the occa- they’re good enough. sion by our dedicated committee members with ample seating, some Alexander crisps and sandwiches, and a cam- Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 45 The road to victory MEN’S FOOTBALL TEAM SET TO CAUSE A STORM IN THE BUSA SEMI-FINALS Southampton Uni 2 the unit held - the marking was good and the defence worked for Roehampton Uni 0 each other, leaving no way through.

Having ridden the storm, which saw The most successful season the another booking for Wessex (James SUFC Men’s 1st have had in York, marking a tricky and physical recent history continued to gather forward) the break came again - the speed last week after a hard prolific Sadler popping up to knock earned and professional victory in a loose ball, completing his pair. over tough Roehampton opposi- The defence then held on and tion. repelled all the desperate attacks that followed. With an unbeaten record going into the game (15 victories out of 16) the A remarkable performance; the Wessex men were determined to Wessex team took on a physically live up to their potential and qualify tough opposition and matched, if for the semi finals of the BUSA not out muscled, them, rode periods shield. When BUSA reconstructed of intense pressure and came out on the league two years ago the Wessex top with a very good chance of pro- squad were placed in a league below gressing to the final. The draw was their ability. As a result the Wessex made the next day - Manchester squad began the season with three playing a key role in keeping Wessex Southampton attacks, and to open up again on the right. The away, a tough fixture but one that goals and a promotion into the tier on top (despite the fact that Cullen Roehampton must have felt fortu- opening pressure paid off and on the team will hope to rise to in order in which they belong. was playing with a heavily band- nate to go into half time without sixty minutes Gareth Sadler scored to complete the fantastic season aged head having taken five stitches conceding. with another of his cheeky free thus far. The first half started evenly with the previous Sunday). The highlight kicks. both sides having good possession. of the half was a great move put The team spirit and character that To all those who did not get a The Wessex defence - with six clean together by Lyons, Cullen and Adam the team have shown this season Roehampton were clearly not chance to watch, there will be the sheets in the last seven games - Smith that saw the Roehampton was not missing in the second half. defeated however, and began load- Varsity match at St. Mary’s Stadium were resolute, and Roehampton had flank carved right open. Within minutes the fresh substitutes ing the pressure on. A good ten- on the 25th April, Tickets £5. Lets problems breaking the tight unit Unfortunately, the move was ended of James Thornby and Dan Smith minute spell for them saw Inigo have a huge crowd this year as we down. Peter Antoniades, one of our after Smith made a meal of a tough showed exactly why the squad is Sarriegi make an important save, may just have a lot to cheer about! three on-form strikers, came close tackle and got a yellow - the referee winning, week in, week out - Roehampton go narrowly wide, with an instinctive lob and first time giving a clear indicator he would strength in depth. In a rich vein of almost score with a lob and force James York shot, while our midfield of Joe tightly control the physical game. form, Thornby rattled the bar with our defence to make several excel- Lyons and Skipper Dan Cullen were The half ended in a flurry of his second touch and A. Smith began lent covering tackles. Nevertheless,

If you everIT’S wondered whether there the SNOW ‘winning’ element of competi- Snowsports Championships JOKE! (BUSC) NATIONAL QUALIFIERS - ROUND exists a toothbrush heaven (as I’m tion. in Les Arcs, France, mixing with 4 ON 02 FEBRUARY 2002 sure you have), you’ll be glad to teams of nationals to novices. The here that us skiers and snowboard- However, things are dramatically mildly insane will be on the Big Air We were in fact competing not ers, distraught that mother nature changing and this season has seen ramp and the ski/board X course only for a place in the National forgot to provide England with a us winning race meetings and nar- pulling ‘phat’ air and breakneck Dry Slope Championships, but mountain or two, have managed to rowly finishing second in our speeds. Whilst there’ll also be many also to win our region (London find a job for your bristled rejects. regional league. We’ve been up to entries in slalom and GS with expec- and the South East It’s quite simple: throw a ‘dendix’ Edinburgh at the National Dry Slope tations of silverware. It’s an oppor- mat down the side of a hill and let Championships, at the University tunity for all our members to get We entered 3 mixed teams (with gravity do its bit. Alpine event in Val d’Isere as well involved in something we’re all at least one female per team), 1 as more local regional races where passionate about, and it goes beyond female team and 2 boarding You’d be surprised by actually how members of the team(s) have con- a common quest for snow as you teams. much dry slope ski/snowboard rac- sistently got results up alongside the can probably imagine. ing happens in the British Isles. very best in the country. RACING RESULTS: Naturally, looking down on the Whether you’re the nuts or not, 1st team: 5th place beautiful Welwyn Garden City With a very tight budget the club come and get involved in a club 2nd team: 4th place (where?) doesn’t really compare has managed to turn quite a serious that’s going places on both the social Boarding 1st team: 1st place with Mont Blanc, but when you’ve and demanding sport into something and racing fronts. got hundreds of ‘lubricated’ stu- that is attracting new sponsors, and Final standings leave the 1st team dents dressed as anything from Telly more importantly, over 250 mem- in 2nd place overall, 1 point Tubbies to Tarts and Vicars in front bers, many of whom are getting behind the winners - Cambridge. of you and a pair of skies attached to involved in racing. This year we’ve your feet you know you’ve found a had our first snowboarding team Both the 1st and 2nd teams will British Universities competition and competing on dry slope as well as a qualify for the Nationals and one you’re in for a good time. brave few who have put image and boarding team will certainly sanity to one side and raced on qualify. These are by far the best The Ski and Snowboard Club, for monoboards. results our teams have ever the first two years that I raced for it, achieved. was certainly more about the ‘tak- At the end of this month we’re out ing part’ (and some!) as opposed to at the British Universities often shake my hand and congratu- WhereTHE did you get your inspira- NAKED TRUTH late me! If they won’t chase me, I tion? don’t leave until they do - the audi- ence loves the chase, so I have to do I was working behind a bar in Hong it. For example, I streaked at the Kong in 1993, and there was a two- Grand National, wearing a cowboy day rugby event on. Someone dared hat with ‘raw hide’ written on me me to do it. At first, I thought it was arse. The police wouldn’t chase me, a joke, so agreed. It was all ale-talk so I started shooting at them with my really. On the day, my friends toy guns until they did! dragged me down to the stadium, so I had to do it. There were 65,000 What do you do when you’re not people there. I picked up the ball streaking? and scored a try... the crowd went mad! They loved it! I’ve never Shave me arse, shave me legs, buff known anything like it, everyone me Willy and go to the pub! was shouting, it was a phenomenal feeling. I did it purely by chance, I [Do you mind if we quote you on have a lot to thank the guy who that?] dared me to do it for; I’ve had 9 No not at all! years of adrenaline rushes. It’s a real buzz, after that first time, I had Is there any occasion you wouldn’t to continue doing it! I’m running streak at? out of ideas though. I used to say that I wouldn’t do the How many streaks have you royal family. But the jubilee’s com- done? ing up isn’t it, so who knows? Maybe I’ll have to change the rule! 199. About 45 of those were major streaks... at games, on T.V shows... How long do you intend to con- It’s difficult to get tickets now tinue streaking? though! (Laughs) I have to use ali- ases; most recently I went by the Until it falls off from frostbite! name Richard Slinger. I managed to Q: What do you do when you’re not streaking? It does get very cold - when I’m run- get tickets to do my lottery streak ning it always looks cold! under the name Dickie Winner. A: Shave me arse, shave me legs, buff me Willy and go But seriously, I have no intention of to the pub! giving it up in the near future. As What has been your greatest long as people are still encouraging streaking achievement? me, I’ll carry on doing it. I love the way people treat me. The Liverpool VS. Chelsea match a few Novembers ago... I came on to ones with the big rollers; I got sucked Christie the Lunch box... I could be No I don’t have another job. Any final comments? the pitch after half time, just before in and spat out at the end, gleaming. the snack! Streaking takes up most of my time. kick-off. Zola passed me the ball It was great. The website is like a full time job. At Well... I should just tell you about and I scored a goal! What are your future plans for the moment, I’m looking for some- the time I went on the ‘Vanessa’ At which point one of our house- T.V. / Sponsorship? one to write a book... to be a ghost- show. I was in the audience, in my Do you think streaking at sport- mates, Robert Serjeant writer and to tell my story. I do lots Velcro suit, whipped it off, ran up to ing events is better than non- (Geology and Oceanography 3rd I’ve done lots of T.V shows all over of interviews and things, so this Vanessa and shouted ‘Come on sporting events? year) runs past us naked! As usual the world, ever since the website takes up most of my time. I’ve just fatty!’ She just panicked. Her secu- he had failed to take a towel into started. I’ve done chat shows in made some t-shirts too, which I’ll rity guards grabbed hold of me and Sporting events are better, there are the bathroom with him - his excuse Denmark, Sweden, Germany, and probably hand out to the police through me in to the nearest back more people there - the more people is that ‘it will get wet’! (PLEASE lots of other places. I’ve got five when I get arrested! It’s an unpaid stage area, which just happened to the better the response. For that I STOP DOING THIS ROB!!!!!) major television appearances lined full time job, so I’m up to my neck be her dressing room. So, I was was banned from football for 12 up. I’m appearing in the Mirror’s M in debts and fines. I’ve given up on standing there naked, waiting for the months! It led me to think of other We explain this to Mark, and he sug- magazine in a couple of week’s the fines though; I’d rather do the police at arrive, and I spotted one of ideas, like the weatherman streak... gests that he join the union of streak- time. When I first stared doing the days. her bras lying about. It had to be I jumped down onto the platform, ers... appearances, it was a bit intimidat- done - I put it on. It was HUGE! It and had to swim over to the island. ing. Sometimes the presenters get a There were 5 arrest warrants out for was so big I put my feet through it I’ve decided to set up a union for bit funny with me, but now it doesn’t me once, so I decided to turn myself and put it on me arse! I was still What do your friends and family streakers... its called GUTS (global bother me. I just tell them ‘if you get in. I went to the police station naked funny with me, I’ll drop my pants I got naked and went through the car wash. It and jump on ya.’ I normally do this I went to the police station naked with a tie on, at the end of the show anyway! was one of those ones with the big rollers; I got and a cardboard box on my head with eye- sucked in and spat out at the end, gleaming. It Did you go to University? holes cut out. The police recognised me, and

was great. No, I went to college, but got kicked sent me away! out. I was studying Dance and think about it? union for streakers) it used to be Drama, but I got kicked out ‘cause I with a tie on, and a cardboard box on wearing it when the police came to Everyone thinks I’m mad. Some of called BUMS (British Union of Male kept swapping courses. I have no my head with eye-holes cut out. The arrest me. They asked me what I was my friends won’t come out with me streakers...) regrets though, if it hadn’t happened police recognised me, and eventual- doing, and I just said, ‘I’m having a anymore because they’re scared that I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing ly sent me away! laugh’. That’s what it’s about. I’ll drop my pants - which I nor- Any plans or ambitions for future today. My whole life has led up to She didn’t even let me keep the bra. mally do after a few drinks! The streaks? this career. What do the police think of your other week I was in the pub, and I’d streaking? Do they see the funny On that note, we said a fond fare- had a few. I saw a garage across the I want to streak at the Superbowl or Is streaking a full-time career side of it? well to Mark, who reminded us to road, so I got naked and went through the Olympics. The Olympics would then, or do you have another job? look out for future T.V appear- the car wash. It was one of those be good... they called Linford The police are great about it; they ances, and to check his website for the forthcoming video... Chrissy and Susie. Sporting website of the week: www.aardvarkarchie.com

Surf club have just come back from Newquay after competing in the British University Surfing champi- onships. The girl’s team reached the quarter finals, and the team placed 11th overall. If you’ve ever been sent any ‘humorous’ sporting photo- Also, the football team are continu- graphs over the internet, it is ing their great success this season likely that they would have origi- with an impresive win over nated from this website. Roehampton uni, which brings them Whoever ‘aardvark archie’ is, they into the semi finals, set for a match definitely have a huge collection of against Manchester away. unusual, sometimes funny, some-

times cringe-worthy sports photo- And Darts! These ‘athletes’ boast graphs. Out of the 35 pictures, there that there are no girls in their club, is bound to be at least one which because girls are usually rubbish at amuses you, or at least makes you darts. Are there any girls out there Hello and welcome to yet another have a second look. There is also as who like to prove these misogynists full (!) sports section. ‘send-this-picture-to-a-friend’ wrong? option, so you can share the images This time, we have a real treat for with anyone you choose. Although Have a good Easter! everyone: a hilarious interview with some of the photos are not exactly the world’s most prolific streaker what you’d call tasteful, you’ll Love Chrissy and Susie. x Mark Roberts. Mark spared us his probably still find yourself snigger- time after being very busy with TV ing! Check it out! appearances... you may have seen The picture below is a tribute to Mark Roberts... this is where it all him recently on ITV! He gives We’ve picked out a few of the best started... in the pub!!! some good advice to wannabe (tame) ones so you can get a sense streakers, so if there’s any of you of what the others are like. Enjoy! out there, it’s well worth a read. Chrissy

We have a variety of different sports SU CRICKET CLUB: the sun’, for spectators, with for you to read about this time, FUN IN THE SUN. special drinks promotions all including Ultimate Frisbee, which On Friday the 17th May, the day, ice cream and refreshments should be increasingly popular as on sale, and various entertain- the warm weather approaches. On University Cricket club are set to take on the Institute in a Varsity ment and competitions. the other hand, the Ski and All the proceeds form the day Snowboarding club have been match at the Hampshire Rose- bowl. will go to charity. enjoying success, with both teams Tickets go on sale soon! qualifying for the nationals. It promises to be a day of ‘fun in

Continued from back page... wessexscene.co.uk 20th March 2002 - ISSUE 754 - PRICELESS

What’s Inside: Darts >>> Skiing >>> Ultimate Frisbee >>> Football and more... NAKED Wave-ing goodbye AMBITION: One Man’s desire to defeat for nudity A cold and windy weekend clad well as competitors. Cast your minds back to the last from head to toe in rubber may issue, and you might remember not be everyone’s idea of a good On the evening of 28th February, our ‘website of the week’ - the time, but for student surfers all one minibus containing two teams wonderful Mark Roberts and his over the country this was to be of four girls and a team of six world of streaking. As promised, the most important event of the boys embarked on the treacher- we contacted the world’s number year. With over 400 competitors, ous journey along the coast to one streaker for an exclusive the British University Surfing Newquay. Five hours later and we interview. Championships is the biggest surf- arrived at Fistral Backpackers, ing event of its kind in Europe. the hostel we were sharing with As streaking or public nudity is Newquay becomes a student mecca the Southampton Institute. After a for the only time in the year, attract- something which a few students continued inside... may try at some point in their ing vast numbers of supporters as University career, we thought it might be usefull to ask Mark for any advise he could give.

When we called Mark, he was in the comfort of a Liverpool pub. Fully clothed (we assume!), Mark was really friendly, entertaining and had a great sense of humour (unsu- prisingly!) He was full of hilarious stories, most of which can be found on his website: www.thestreaker.org.uk. Continued Inside: PART OF A SPORTS CLUB? GOT A STORY TO TELL? CONTACT US AT: [email protected]

Reach for the stars...... ignite your potential The Cranfield experience: superb career prospects and an enviable network of con- Source: N A S Source: tacts. www.postgraduate.cranfield. Key study areas include:

• Advanced Engineering • Materials • Aerospace and Avionics • Agriculture • Automotive Engineering • Defence • Energy and Power Generation • Water • Environmental and Life Sciences • Management • Manufacturing • Health and Medicine FIRST CHOICE FOR SECOND DEGREES Funding opportunities, including Cranfield scholarships, are available.

Cranfield University, Cranfield, Bedfordshire, MK43 0AL T: 01234 754171 E: [email protected] Please quote GradC when enquiring