Part I—Write an Obituary Worth Reading
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Writing An Obituary Worth Reading A Guide For Writing A Fulfilling Life-Review This Sampler version contains the first half of the book. You can find a complete print copy version at Amazon. Or, you can ask the author for a free digital PDF version in exchange for your donation to the causes listed on the last page entitled I Give, You Give. By Martin Kimeldorf Draft 28 Images for obituaries provided by authors and friends. All other words (not quoted) and images by Martin Kimeldorf. ©.Kimeldorf.2015 Second updating and digital distribution April 3, 2016 SearchInc Press, Tumwater, WA All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without written permission from the author. Write to him at Kimeldorf@me.com Publishing History: First Digital Distribution and copyright in 2015 by Martin Kimeldorf. Publication Data: Kimeldorf, Martin. Writing An Obituary Worth Reading 1. Philosophy 2. Writing Copyright Code TXu 1-967-439 This book is licensed and distributed for your personal enjoyment only. This electronic PDF book version and the print version may not be re-sold, distributed nor given away to other people without the author’s permission. Thank you for respecting my hard work on this book. Other works can be found at www.martinkimeldorf.org. This book is not intended to diagnose, prescribe or treat any ailment, nor is it intended as a replacement for medical, counseling or other professional consultation. The author and publisher strongly suggest that at the first suspicion of illness or problem the reader should consult a professional care provider. Writing An Obituary Worth Reading Table Of Intents PREFACE—WHY THIS BOOK, WHY NOW? .............................................................................. 5 INTRODUCTION TO A LIFE-REVIEW OBITUARY ...................................................................... 8 LEARNING FROM AN OLD TOMBSTONE LESSON ...................................................................................... 8 GERIATRIC EXPERTS ACTUALLY PIONEERED THE LIFE-REVIEW TOOL ................................................ 9 A LIFE-REVIEW HAS VALUE AT EVERY AGE AND ANY STAGE ............................................................. 10 THE LIFE-REVIEW OBITUARY WRITING PROCESS ................................................................................. 10 PART I—WRITE AN OBITUARY WORTH READING ............................................................. 12 REASONS FOR WRITING YOUR OBITUARY NOW .................................................................................... 15 OBITUATRIES ARE NOT ABOUT DEATH .................................................................................................... 18 THE LIVING FUNERAL AND OTHER CELEBRATORY OPTIONS ................................................................ 19 THE LIVING OBITUARY OPTIONS ............................................................................................................. 21 REVIEWING THE EVOLUTION OF OBITUARY STYLES ............................................................................ 24 CELEBRATING THE CYCLE OF LIFE AND DEATH IN THE DIGITAL WORLD ......................................... 25 SAMPLES OF THE ART OF THE OBITUARY ............................................................................................... 27 USE THE CREATIVE NONFICTION APPROACH TO MAKE YOUR LIFE-REVIEW WORTH READING .......... 30 PART II— STARTING AN OBIT WORTH READING ............................................................... 31 TIPS FOR WRITING AN OBITUARY WORTH READING ............................................................................ 31 USING THESE QUICK-START TOOLS FOR A SHORT OBIT ....................................................................... 32 USE THESE TOOLS WHEN ATTEMPTING A LONGER LIFE-REVIEW OBITUARY ................................... 33 EVERYONE SHOULD START WITH THE PART II EXERCISES .................................................................. 33 BEGIN WITH THE QUICK-START TOMBSTONE EXERCISE ...................................................................... 34 ADD IN DETAILS FROM THE SELF-INTERVIEW ACTIVITY ...................................................................... 36 ROUND OUT YOUR OBIT WITH FAVORITE QUOTES OR HUMOR ........................................................... 43 FINISH BY BOOK-ENDING YOUR STORY WITH OBITUARY COMPONENTS ............................................ 44 ONWARDS TO MORE RESEARCH OR EDITING AND REVISING ............................................................... 45 PART III—PROMPTING A DEEPER LIFE-REVIEW ............................................................... 47 BEGIN BY PONDERING THE TWO ESSENTIAL STARTING QUESTIONS ................................................... 48 PROMPTING YOUR SOUL’S LIFE-STORY ................................................................................................... 48 PICTORIAL PROMPTS FOR VISUAL LEARNERS ........................................................................................ 51 PART IV—DRAFTING AND REVISING ..................................................................................... 58 WRITING IS A PROCESS—ALWAYS .......................................................................................................... 58 STEP 1—AFTER RESEARCH ORGANIZE YOUR NOTES ............................................................................. 59 STEP 2—WRITING THE GAWD-AWFUL FIRST DRAFT ............................................................................. 61 STEP 3—REVISE, REVISE, REVISE ............................................................................................................ 61 PART V—COACHING WRITERS WITH THEIR FIRST OBITUARY ......................................... 67 TIPS FOR YOUNGER WRITERS OR THOSE USING A JOURNALING APPROACH ....................................... 68 LISTEN TO LAURA IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE NOTHING IMPORTANT TO SAY ....................................... 70 TIPS FOR PEOPLE WHO FIND THEMSELVES PROCRASTINATING .......................................................... 72 3 Writing An Obituary Worth Reading THEMATICALLY TAKING IN THE LONG VIEW ........................................................................................ 74 WHEN STRAIGHT NARRATIVE WRITING DOESN’T WORK TRY IMAGERY ........................................... 76 PART VI—SAMPLE OBITS WORTH READING ........................................................................ 79 AFTERWORD… ........................................................................................................................... 98 RESOURCES ............................................................................................................................... 100 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS .............................................................................................................. 103 Sample Obituaries Included GUS EAGAN —MY FAVORITE OBIT ............................................................................................. 29 BILL BAILEY’S SELF-INTERVIEW OBITUARY-MEMOIR ............................................................. 37 KATE DUTTRO’S LIFE LINE OBIT ................................................................................................ 55 MORGAN MONTGOMERY FAIRLESS ............................................................................................ 69 LAURA GEANE CONLEY ............................................................................................................... 70 JIM WEBER ................................................................................................................................... 73 JEAN O'KEEFFE ........................................................................................................................... 74 SHANIL SAMARAKOON’S POEM ................................................................................................... 76 GARTH (AT THE PHOTOMAGINARIUM)’S PHOTOMONTAGE ....................................................... 77 ANNE CROWLEY ........................................................................................................................... 80 DARYL GRAZIA ............................................................................................................................. 80 DAVE SEIBERLICH ........................................................................................................................ 81 CAROLYN MILFORD GILBERT ..................................................................................................... 81 LINDSAY AMANDES MCCOY ........................................................................................................ 82 AUSTIN STEPHEN TOWNSEND ...................................................................................................... 84 JOY MARIE LOWER ...................................................................................................................... 85 CHRISTOPHER KEARNS CONLEY ................................................................................................. 86 MICHAEL PETERS ......................................................................................................................... 88 JUDY KIMELDORF ........................................................................................................................ 90 MARTIN KIMELDORF ..................................................................................................................