The Lived High School Experience of Ged® College Graduates
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ABSTRACT Title of Dissertation: ATTENDING TO STORIES OF HIGH SCHOOL DISPLACEMENT: THE LIVED HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE OF GED® COLLEGE GRADUATES Mary Grace Snyder Doctor of Philosophy, 2009 Dissertation directed by: Professor Francine Hultgren Department of Education Policy Studies College of Education University of Maryland This hermeneutic phenomenological inquiry is called by the question, “What is the lived high school experience of GED college graduates?” GED college graduates are people who have dropped out of high school, used the GED Tests to earn their jurisdiction’s high school diploma, then graduated from a four-year institution. If these individuals have the intellectual acumen and personal commitment to earn a bachelor’s degree, then why did they drop out of high school? Conversations with seven GED college graduates uncover the displacement that drove them out of a traditional high school program. The hermeneutic phenomenological methodology is grounded in the philosophical work of Heidegger, especially as developed by Merleau-Ponty and Levinas, which elicits an awareness of our embodied being’s struggle to embrace Being and the moral necessity of responding to that presence. Van Manen’s work guides the “doing” of this philosophy as human science research in education. The stories of the lived high school experiences of the seven GED college graduates reveal the disquiet of their displacement. They each felt that they did not fit the ! mold that high school wanted: they felt they were different, outcasts, not part of the “in crowd.” They felt the inequitable treatment and bodily discomfort caused by this difference. They report only a nominal, caring presence at school, and this disregard further alienated them. School was disappointed in their lack of commitment and enthusiasm for traditional coursework, and the students, in turn, were disappointed that school cared so little for their needs. Dropping out protected them from the pain of further displacement. Attending to these stories of displacement may help educators imagine a different way of creating high school. Smaller high schools might make each student a more significant part of the student body, better known to teachers, and more likely to feel implaced. Additionally, alternate programs might allow students to deviate from the traditional K-12 timeline into work experiences, to follow compelling interests, or to gather into community around similar questions about their world. Teacher preparation programs that offer multiple visions for high school could be instrumental in making such change a reality. ! ATTENDING TO STORIES OF HIGH SCHOOL DISPLACEMENT: THE LIVED HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE OF GED® COLLEGE GRADUATES By Mary Grace Snyder Dissertation submitted to the Faculty of the Graduate School of the University of Maryland, College Park in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy 2009 Advisory Committee: Dr. Francine H. Hultgren, Chair and Advisor Dr. Barbara Bass Dr. Steve Selden Dr. Wayne Slater Dr. Linda Valli ! © Copyright by Mary Grace Snyder 2009 ! ""! Dedication To all high school students who struggle to find their place. ! """! Acknowledgements My dream to capture high school’s living feel Is borne by those who shared their desperate flight; The seven who re-membered stories sealed, Give me the heart to champion their fight. And ever by me, love one cannot earn: My family’s care supports and shepherds me; They even set themselves the task to learn To say, “Hermeneutic Phenomenology.” My deepest, heartfelt thanks must go to she Who read the words but heard the song therein; The caring net she wove so seamlessly Drew forth what light and sight might lie within. Just one remains to thank with pleasure rare: The husband who is loved beyond compare. I am also deeply indebted to my dissertation committee whose fortitude in reading such a long document as well as their meticulous, caring response has been remarkable. Many extended family members, friends, coworkers, fellow graduate students, and my own graduate students have often stepped into the breach of my flagging spirit to offer just the right word of encouragement. “No man [or woman!] is an island,” and whatever I have accomplished here is not my achievement alone. ! "#! TABLE OF CONTENTS Chapter One: Called by the Stories of GED® College Graduates 1 Hearing Their Stories 2 Katie 3 Charles 4 Tanya 5 Comparing Our Stories 6 Who I Have Been 7 Who I Have Become 8 What They Have Drawn Me to See 10 Uncovering the High School Dropout Story 10 Modeling the Theory of the High School Experience 12 Withdrawing from School 13 Comparing the Caring Relationships of GED Students in High School and College 16 Writing the GED Tests into the High School Story 19 Caring About High School Dropouts 22 Is Indifference Immoral? 23 Discovering a Path from Indifference to Care 28 Heeding the Call of Phenomenology 29 Structuring My Work 34 Chapter Two: Relinquishing the Struggle Against Dis-placement: Dropping Out 35 Exposing the Historical Purpose of High School 36 Describing the Challenges to Implacement in High School 39 Flunking Out: The Original Stereotype 40 Recognizing the Power of Implacement 42 Finding a Place in High School 44 Listening to the Stories of Dis-placement 47 Teaching and Dis-placement 49 Mentoring Students to “Be” 51 Reflecting on the External Causes of Dis-placement 53 Reflecting on White Privilege 53 Reflecting on Cultural Capital 57 ! #! Reflecting on Poverty 59 Reflecting on Materialism 62 Tracing the Effects of Dis-placement 64 Feeling Out of Place 65 Concealing Dis-placement 68 Bulwarking a Safe Place 70 Escaping High School 73 Finding a Place as an Adult 74 Choosing Parenthood 74 Challenging Society’s Expectations for Dropouts 77 Chapter Three: Caring about Dropping Out: Philosophical and Methodological Grounding 84 Heeding the Call to Reflection 85 Resisting the Technical 87 Embracing Phenomenology 88 The Essence of Caring 90 Describing Phenomenology 93 Philosophical Basis of Phenomenology 94 Accepting Martin Heidegger 97 Implacing Heidegger 97 Applying This Insight to Heidegger 99 Integrating Heidegger’s Disparate Places 103 An English Teacher’s Reflection 106 Developing a Philosophy of Caring 108 Imagining an Ethic of Caring 116 Hermeneutic Phenomenology 120 Written Language 121 Reading 123 Vicarious Learning 125 Conversation 129 The Methodology of Phenomenology 131 Turning to the Nature of Lived Experience 131 Investigating Experience as We Live It 132 Reflecting on Essential Themes 133 The Art of Writing and Rewriting 136 Maintaining a Strong and Oriented Relation 138 Balancing the Research Context by Considering Parts and Whole 138 ! #"! Listening to the Lived High School Experience of GED College Graduates 139 Chapter Four: Delving into the Disquiet of Displacement 148 Listening to the Disquiet of Displacement 150 Catherine 150 Simon 152 Lee 153 Reenie 154 Chad 155 Sharon 157 Joe 158 Understanding the Intensity of Displacement 160 Feeling the Disquiet of Displacement 161 Molding Dropouts 164 Experiencing the Displacement of Difference 167 Being an Outcast 171 Finding Yourself Outside the “In-Crowd” 173 Experiencing the Displacing Dispiritedness of Inequitable Treatment 177 Experiencing the Bodily Dys-appearance of Difference 182 Experiencing the Bodily Displacement of Physical Abuse 187 Experiencing the Displacement of Disregard 195 Experiencing the Absence 201 The Present Absence 202 The Absent Presence 205 Caring is a Heartfelt Presence 208 The Caring, Heartfelt Presence 212 The Weakened, Heartfelt Presence 214 The Authoritarian Presence 216 The Un-caring Presence 217 Experiencing the Displacement of Disappointment 219 Understanding Engrossment and Motivational Displacement 224 Finding School Irrelevant 229 Staying Connected Through Drugs 239 Rejoicing in the Difference Between High School and College or the Workplace 243 Finding a Place to Begin Again 250 ! #""! Chapter Five: Dreaming Them Implaced 252 Dreaming of Different Paths Through High School 253 Dreaming of Smaller Schools and Greater Caring 253 Envisioning Smaller Lessens and Bigger Projects 258 Dreaming of Fewer Yardsticks and More Growth 263 Dreaming of Implacing Alternatives 266 Remembering the Influences Beyond the School Halls 271 Teaching the Teachers to Be Dreamers 273 Seeing Myself as Part of the Problem 274 Changing 276 Teaching the Teachers 278 Becoming 280 Appendix A 281 Appendix B 282 Appendix C 283 Appendix D 285 References 288 ! ! "! CHAPTER ONE: CALLED BY THE STORIES OF GED COLLEGE GRADUATES ! ! The poet Rumi offers this reflection. “I can’t really explain what it’s like where I live, but someday, I’ll take you there” (2004, p. 193). One evening, three GED (General Educational Development) college students took me to the place where they live, and it changed my life’s work. GED college graduates are high school dropouts who have earned their high school credential by passing the GED Tests, and they use this certification to continue their education in college. Although I had taught high school for 25 years and written dozens of letters of recommendation for promising young people to college admissions officers, I never saw the alternate world of high school dropouts who were also on this path. After retiring from classroom teaching, my husband and I were reflecting on how we might continue our work in the field of education. He accepted a position with the GED Testing Service (GEDTS) to create the GED Mathematics Test; I was exploring the tact of teaching with new and veteran teachers in teacher-formation classes. At his invitation, I attended the 2000 GED Administrators’ Conference. I thought I was going to San Diego; I actually visited a place far more unfamiliar. One of the most delightful parts of the GEDTS annual conference is the Graduates’ Dinner. GEDTS donates three college scholarships, and the state hosting the conference awards them to young people who are GED college students. They attend a formal dinner where they tell their stories to the gathering of test-makers, test administrators, adult education teachers, family, and friends.