Military Despatches Vol 11 May 2018 Ten military blunders of WWII Ten military mistakes that proved costly Under three flags The man who fought for three different nations Head-to-Head World War II fighter aces

Battlefield The Battle of Spion Kop

The Boer Commandos A citizen army that was forged in battle

For the military enthusiast Military Despatches May 2018 What’s in this month’s edition

Feature Articles 6 Top Ten military blunders of World War II Click on any video below to view Ten military operations of World War II that had a major impact on the final outcome of the war. How much do you know about movie theme 16 Under three flags songs? Take our quiz Some men have fought in three different wars, but rarely have they fought for three different countries. and find out. This was one such man. Page 6 20 Rank Structure - WWII German Military Hipe’s Wouter de The old South African Over the next few months we will be running a se- Goede interviews former Defence Force used ries of articles looking at the rank structure of vari- 28’s gang boss David a mixture of English, ous armed forces. This month we look at the German Williams. Afrikaans, slang and Military in World War II. techno-speak that few 24 A matter of survival outside the military Over the next few months we will be running a series could hope to under- of articles looking at survival, something that has al- stand. Some of the terms ways been important for those in the military. We start were humorous, some off by looking at how to put together a survival tin. Page 16 were clever, while others were downright crude. 27 Semper Fi Gunny Former Marine drill instructor and actor R. Lee Er- mey, who played the iconic role of Gunnery Sergeant Part of Hipe’s “On the Hartman in Full Metal Jacket, has passed away at the couch” series, this is an age of 74. interview with one of author Herman Charles Head-to-Head Bosman’s most famous 28 World War II Fighter Aces characters, Oom Schalk We look at those aces that achieved 20 or more kills. Page 28 A taxi driver was shot Lourens. Hipe spent time in dead in an ongoing Hanover Park, an area Cover Photograph war between rival taxi plagued with gang The editor took this photograph while observing a organisations. violence, to view first- FIBUA training exercise by the South African Nation- hand how Project al Defence Force (SANDF). FIBUA is training in ur- Ceasefire is dealing with ban warfare and stands for Fighting In Built Up Areas. In the British Army it is known as Fish & Chips. the situation. Fighting In Someone’s House & Causing Havoc In Hipe TV brings you videos ranging from actuality to humour and every- People’s Streets. thing in between. Interviews, mini-documentaries and much more. Check out Hipe TV and remember to like, comment, share and subscribe. 00 3 Famous Figures 38 Alvin York The most decorated pacifist of World War I. Quiz 41 Nicknames Editor’s PUBLISHER The military loves nicknames and slang. Here are a few questions about nicknames. See if you know the Sitrep Hipe Media answers. Page 38 EDITOR Matt Tennyson Forged in Battle Page 41 42 Boer Commandos CONTRIBUTORS The Boer Commandos, or Kommandos, were fierce- Peter Chapman, Raymond ext month will be the those stories are told soon, they ly independent farmers who had spent most of their Fletcher, Ryan Murphy, Matt 12th edition of Mili- will never be heard and remem- working lives in the saddle, they were skilled hunt- O’Brien, Matt Tennyson. Ntary Despatches. That bered. ers and expert marksmen. Something that the British means we’re nearly a year old. In other words, it’s about time Military Despatches is pub- were to learn the hard way. No wonder I need a drink. that you told those stories. lished on-line every month. I love reading about personal I must say that I am looking The articles used in Military Battlefield accounts of people that fought forward to our trip to Kimber- Despatches are copyrighted in wars. Or finding out about ley in June. I did a similar trip 46 The Battle of Spion Kop and may not be used without During the Second Boer War campaign to relieve La- unusual incidents. Which is in 2011 and it was a lot of fun. prior permission from the edi- Page 46 why I enjoyed the article “Un- The train trip especially dysmith, the British managed to snatch defeat from tor. the jaws of victory. der three flags” in this month’s brought back memories. Twice The views stated in this mag- issue. during my military service I azine do not necessary reflect I remember reading a book went from Johannesburg to the views of Hipe!, the editor, Reviews by George Robert Elford called Windhoek by train. the staff, or Hipe Media. Devil’s Guard. It was published We would actually catch the 50 Game Review - This War of Mine in 1971 and told the story of Transkaroo and then the coach Hipe! During war, there are no good or bad decisions; there is only survival. Matt O’ Brien tries to keep a group Hans Josef Wagemueller. was taken off at De Aar. You P.O. Box 31216, Tokai, 7966 survivors alive in his own inept way. Wagemueller fought in the would sit there from 22h00 in South Africa. Waffen-SS during World War the evening through until 17h00 II and afterwards joined the the following day. email 52 DVD Review - Blackadder Goes Forth French Foreign Legion and It took something like three [email protected] Set in the trenches of World War I, this is sarcastic fought in Indo-China. days to get to Windhoek and comedy at its best. The book is presented by the from there it was on by bus to author as nonfiction but con- Grootfontein and then further 53 Book Reivew - Operation Askari 1983/84 sidered to be untrue by military north. Both those train trip were An inside account of the operation. historians, and usually sold as a blast. fiction. Yet it does make you That’s about it for this month. think about how many war Some interesting articles com- The Lighter Side criminals escaped prosecution ing you way in the June edition, Page 54 by joining other armies. so look out for them. 54 Blackadder - Private Plane I’m sure that many of those Here is the full script from the Private Plane episode that fought in our own Border Until next month. from Black Adder Goes Forth War have stories to tell. The sad thing is that none of us are getting any younger and unless Matt 4 5 lead to the Battle of Prohorov- Top Ten ka, one of the largest tank bat- tles in military history. On 3 August the Soviets began their second phase of the counter-at- 10 Military blunders tack, Operation Polkovodets Rumyantsev. of World War II As if this was not enough, Ten military operations of World War II that had a major impact on the on the night of 9/10 July 1943 final outcome of the war. the Allies launched Operation Husky – the invasion of Sici- ly. Hitler was forced to divert here is little doubt that Philippine Liberation, 1944 ippines commenced with am- troops training in France to World War II was the While this ended in a victo- phibious landings on the east- meet the Allied threats in the Tgreatest conflict in mod- ry for the Americans, many ern Philippine island of Leyte Mediterranean, rather than use ern history and one that contin- consider it an unnecessary op- on October 20, 1944. United them as a strategic reserve for ues to impact our world to this eration that may have extend- States and Philippine Common- the Eastern Front. Hitler then day. It is a conflict filled with ed the war by months. After wealth military forces were pro- cancelled the offensive at Kursk “what ifs…”. gressing in liberating territory TOLD YOU I’D BE BACK: General McArthur wades ashore on being kicked out of the Philip- his return to the Philippines. after only a week, in part to di- What if Germany or Japan pines two years earlier, General and islands when the Japanese vert forces to Italy, resulting in had won the war? What if Ger- Douglas McArthur was keen to forces in the Philippines were at a huge disadvantage in terms Many German generals ar- a reduction of German strength many had developed an atomic get back. He convinced Ameri- ordered to surrender by Tokyo of numbers. They had 80,900 gued strongly against the oper- on the Eastern Front. bomb? What if the Invasion of can President Franklin D. Roo- on August 15, 1945, after the men, 2,928 tanks, and 9,966 ation, saying that the attack was During Operation Citadel the Normandy had failed? What if sevelt that he may lose re-elec- dropping of the atomic bombs guns and mortars. The Germans pointless. Germans suffered 54,182 casu- B had happened instead of A? tion in 1944 if he didn’t liberate on mainland Japan and the So- also delayed the offensive while On 10 May 1943, General alties. Between 250 and 300 The world today could have the island chain that McArthur viet invasion of Manchuria. they tried to build up their forc- Heinz Guderian asked Hitler, tanks and assault guns were de- looked very different. had ineptly failed to defend in The campaign cost the Amer- es and wait for new weapons. “Is it really necessary to attack stroyed, and between 600 and The fact that things turned out 1942. icans more than 79,000 dead They were relying on the new Kursk, and indeed in the east 1,600 were damaged. They also the way they did was the result The fact is that by 1944 the and wounded. They also lost Panther tank and larger number this year at all? Do you think an- lost 159 aircraft and 500 guns. of a number of factors – both Japanese air and naval pres- 485 aircraft, had 33 ships sunk, of the Tiger I heavy tank. yone even knows where Kursk During the Battle of Kursk an- positive and negative. What’s ence on the island had been and another 95 ships damaged. The problem was that the is? The entire world doesn’t other 50,000 men were killed perhaps most important in un- largely nullified, and it was too Japanese loses were even high- Russian had been aware months care if we capture Kursk or or missing, and 134,000 were derstanding why one side won far from Japan to use as a base er. in advance that the German at- not. What is the reason that is wounded. They also lost about and the other lost is in recog- from which to launch raids on tack would fall on the neck of forcing us to attack this year 760 tanks and assault guns and nising that victory was not de- the Japanese mainland. There Kursk, 1943 the Kursk salient. This gave the on Kursk, or even more, on the 681 aircraft. termined so much by who won was little reason to invade the One thing you’ve got to say Red Army time to construct a Eastern Front?” Russian casualties were even the most battles - although ul- place, other than that’s what about Adolf Hitler was that he series of deep defensive po- Although Hitler did have res- higher. Operation Citadel cost timately that was a factor - but Douglas McArthur wanted. sure didn’t learn from his mis- sitions. These included mine- ervations, he was committed to them 177,847 casualties. Be- by who made the fewest costly And what McArthur wanted, he takes. Only six months after the fields, fortifications, artillery the offensive. tween 1,614 and 1,956 tanks and mistakes. usually got. débâcle at Stalingrad, Hitler de- fire zones and anti-tank strong The German offensive stalled assault guns were destroyed, Tactical blunders, missed The time spent securing the cides that once again it’s time to points that extended about 300 on the northern side of the sa- and between 459 and 1,000 opportunities, bad judgement island and the resources used in go on the offensive. He launch- km in depth. Their mobile for- lient. While the Russian lines aircraft. At the Battle of Kursk and just plain bad luck by both doing so delayed the invasion es Unternehmen Zitadelle (Op- mations were moved out of the bent, they did not break. On 12 254,470 men were killed, miss- sides was instrumental in the fi- of Okinawa and probably ex- eration Citadel) on 5 July 1943. salient and a large reserve force July the Soviets launched Oper- ing or captured. 608,833 were nal result. Here are ten blunders tended the war by a few months. The operation has the objective was formed, ready for strategic ation Kutuzov against the rear wounded or became seriously that were instrumental in either But at least it gave McArthur of pinching off the Kursk sali- counter-offensives. The Rus- of the German forces on the ill. 6,064 tanks and assault guns lengthening the war or where a perfect photo opportunity to ent with attacks on the base of sians had 1,910,361 men, 5,128 northern side of the salient. were destroyed, and between they managed to snatch defeat wade ashore at Leyte Gulf and the salient from north and south tanks, and 25,013 guns and On the southern side the So- 1,626 and 1,961 aircraft. The from the jaws of victory. proclaim that he had returned. simultaneously. mortars ready to meet the Ger- viets launched a counter-attack Russians also lost 5,244 guns. The liberation of the Phil- The Germans were suffering mans. on the same day. This would While the Russians could ab- 6 7 sorb the losses, the Germans get the memo. could not. Once the Germans became Kursk was the final strate- aware of this weak point in the gic offensive that the Germans French defensive front, it was were able to launch on the East- quickly exploited. A rapid ad- ern Front. From there the retreat vance through the forest and that would finally end in Berlin across the River Meuse encir- began. cled much of the Allied forc- es, resulting in a sizeable force Anzio, 1944 being evacuated at Dunkirk When the Allies launched leaving the forces to the south the Invasion of Italy at the end unable to mount an effective re- of 1943, they became bogged sistance to the German invasion down at the Gustav Line. of France. This German defensive line BASTION: While the Maginot Line was formidable, it wasn’t BOMBS AWAY: German bombers over London during the Blitz Once the Germans were be- stretched across Italy south of much good when attacked from the rear. in 1940. hind the Maginot Line, it was the strategic objective of Rome. of surprise and he ordered his Italy’s Invasion of Greece - and with good reason. They Line. It did not extend all the game over for the French. All The terrain was ideally suited men to dig in and wait until he and Egypt, 1940-41 came up with a plan based on way to the English Channel. of the defences faced forward. to defence, something that Ger- judged his position was suffi- There must have been times their experience of trench war- This was, believe it or not, part What they had failed to accom- man commander Field Marshal ciently consolidated and he had when Italy’s Benito Mussolini fare during World War I. They of the French plan. They en- plish in four years during World Albert Kesselring took full ad- sufficient strength. imagined that he was a modern would build an impregnable visioned a move into Belgium War I, the Germans managed to vantage of. While Lucas waited on the day Caesar. There is no doubt fortress of concrete, steel and to counter a German assault. It do in six weeks from 10 May It was none other than Brit- beach, Kesselring moved every that he wanted to expand his iron that would deter German was something that did not go 1940 – they had conquered ish Prime Minister Winston unit he could spare into a defen- empire. In the later part of 1940 aggression, because it would unnoticed by the Germans. France. Churchill who conceived Op- sive ring around the beachhead. he decided to invade Greece slow an invasion force long When the Germans did eration Shingle. The plan was His artillery units had a clear through Albania, as well as in- enough for French forces to launch their attack on France, The London Blitz, 1940 to land two divisions at Anzio, view of every Allied position. vading Egypt from his colony mobilize and counter-attack. it was not against the Maginot “What General Weygand north of the Gustav Line and After a month of heavy but in- in Libya. Named the Maginot Line, af- Line. Instead of going straight called the battle of France is only 62,4 km from Rome. Not conclusive fighting, Lucas was His army was large, but rather ter French Minister of War An- at it, they went around it, by- over. I expect that the battle only would the Allies be able to relieved and sent home. His re- inept. Not surprisingly he had dré Maginot, it was constructed passing the line to the north of Britain is about to begin.” take Rome, they would also cut placement was Major General his head handed to him by the on the French side of its borders through the Low Countries. These were the opening lines of off the German defenders to the Lucian K. Truscott. Greek and British forces in the with Italy, Switzerland, Germa- This was something that French a speech made by British Prime south. It was only in May 1944 that Balkans and by the British Al- ny, and Luxembourg. The Magi- and British officers had antici- Minister Winston Churchill to The landing at Anzio on 22 the Allies were finally able to lied forces in Egypt. Hitler was not Line was everything that the pated when Germany invaded the House of Commons on 18 January 1944 took the Ger- break out of the Anzio beach- forced to send in the German French claimed. It was imper- the Netherlands and Belgium. June 1940. mans totally by surprise. Not head. Rome was eventually army to save his hapless ally. vious to most forms of attack, They carried out plans to form France had surrendered and only was there no opposition, captured on June 4, 1944. Not only did Hitler have to including aerial bombings and and aggressive front line that only Britain stood between Hit- an American Jeep patrol drove What if someone like Gener- pull valuable resources away tank fire, and had underground cut across Belgium and con- ler and total victory in Europe. as far as the outskirts of Rome al George S. Paton had been in from other fronts, it also de- railways as a backup; it also nected to the Maginot Line. There was one slight problem, without any hindrance. It was a command of Operation Shin- layed the start of Operation had state-of-the-art living con- The French line was weak however. He would first have golden opportunity for the Al- gle? It is unlikely that he would Barbarossa, the German inva- ditions for garrisoned troops, near the Ardennes forest. The to cross the English Channel lies, except for one small prob- have sat kicking his heels on sion of Russia. Chances are that supplying air conditioning and French believed that this re- to get at Britain. To this end lem - Major General John P. the beach at Anzio. Especially if Italy had followed the lead eating areas for their comfort. gion, with its rough terrain and the Germans planned Unterne- Lucas. if he knew the road to Rome of Spain’s General Franco and It boasted a formidable array of thick forests, would be an un- hmen Seelöw (Operation Sea General Lucas, of the Amer- was open. The Germans would remained neutral, German may weapons that included artillery, likely invasion route for the Lion), an amphibious invasion ican Army, was in command of probably have been forced back have won the war. anti-tank guns, mortars and Germans. After all, there was of England. Hitler hoped the the operation. From the start he to the Austrian border far ear- heavy machine guns. no ways that armour would be British government would seek had little confidence in the op- ly than they eventually were. It Maginot Line, 1940 There was, however, one able to negotiate the forests. It a peace agreement and he reluc- eration as planned. He failed to could have saved thousands of After World War I, the French small flaw with the Maginot seems as if the Germans didn’t tantly considered invasion only take advantage of the element Allied and Axis lives. were very wary of the Germans as a last resort if all other op- 8 9 tions failed. As a precondition, creasingly limited scope inside he specified the achievement of the Soviet Union, such as Case both air and naval superiority Blue in 1942 and Operation over the English Channel and Citadel in 1943 – all of which the proposed landing sites. eventually failed. In July 1940 the air and sea blockade began, with the Luft- Pearl Harbour, 1941 waffe mainly targeting coast- The coded message contained al-shipping convoys, ports and just three words, “Niitaka yama shipping centres, such as Ports- nobore” (Climb Mount Niita- mouth. On 1 August, the Luft- ka). The events that would fol- waffe (Air Force) was directed low would change the course of to achieve air superiority over World War II. the RAF (Royal Air Force) with It was a message sent from TORA, TORA, TORA: The Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour the aim of incapacitating RAF brought America into World War II. Admiral Yamamoto to Vice Ad- Fighter Command. The Luft- miral Nagumo on 2 December waffe soon discovered that this hmen Barbarossa (Operation the divisional level and below 1941. It ordered him to open was no easy task. PANZER MARCH: German tanks roll into Russia at the start of Barbarossa), his invasion of to oversee the political loyal- a top secret envelope that told Britain had a secret weapon – Operation Barbarossa. Russia, would succeed. “We ty of the army to the regime. him that the Japanese Empire radar. A chain of radar stations only have to kick in the door The commissars held a position had decided to go to war with meant that the British could RAF. Head of the Luftwaffe, who do not remember their past and the whole rotten structure equal to that of the commander the United States, Britain and detect German aircraft while Hermann Göring, was furious. are condemned to repeat their will come crashing down,” he of the unit they were oversee- Holland. they were still forming up over Only days before he declared, mistakes. Those who do not was quoted as saying. ing. On 26 November 1941, a France. They could track the “If one enemy bomb falls on read history are doomed to re- The Russian military was in Initially Operation Barbaros- Japanese task force that includ- height and direction of German Berlin, you can call me Meyer.” peat it. Those who fail to learn a mess. Soviet dictator Joseph sa was a success. German forc- ed six aircraft carriers - Akagi, fighter and bomber formations. And if Göring was furious, Hit- from the mistakes of their pre- Stalin had begun his ‘Great es achieved major victories and Kaga, Sōryū, Hiryū, Shōkaku, They could then scramble the ler was even more so. decessors are destined to repeat Purge’ in the late 1930s when occupied some of the most im- and Zuikaku – departed Hitto- nearest British fighters to inter- He ordered retaliation against them. Those who do not know much of the officer corps of the portant economic areas of the kapu Bay on KasatkaIsland in cept them. London and Göring was more history’s mistakes are doomed Red Army was decimated and Soviet Union, mainly in the the Kurile Islands under strict After 12 days the Luftwaffe than happy to oblige. The to repeat them.” their replacements, appointed Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Re- radio silence. Their aim was shifted their attacks to RAF air- Luftwaffe turned their atten- When Adolf Hitler decided by Stalin for political reasons public, and inflicted, as well to take a position northwest of fields and infrastructure. The tion from RAF infrastructure to invade the Soviet Union in and most of them lacked mili- as sustained, heavy casualties. Hawaii from where they could Germans were bombing the air- to London. It would become 1941, it appears that Santayana tary competence. Despite these Axis successes, launch a surprise attack on the fields quicker than the British known as ‘The Blitz’. wasn’t on Herr Hitler’s reading Of the five Marshals of the So- the German offensive stalled in US Pacific Fleet at Pearl- Har could repair them. And it was It was a huge mistake on list. It was only slightly more viet Union appointed in 1935, the Battle of Moscow and the bour in Hawaii. working. RAF leader Air Chief Hitler’s part. It gave the RAF than a century earlier, in 1812 only Kliment Voroshilov and subsequent Soviet winter coun- At 07h48 on 7 December 1941 Marshal Hugh Dowding was a breather during which they to be exact, when Napoleon Semyon Budyonny survived teroffensive pushed German the US Naval Base at Pearl Har- unsure of how much longer the could repair their airfields and launched his Campagne de Rus- Stalin’s purge. Tukhachevsky troops back. The Germans were bour came under attack by 353 RAF could last. service and repair their air- sie and sent his Grande Armée was killed in 1937. Fifteen of not prepared for the early Sovi- Imperial Japanese aircraft in Then, on 24 August1940, craft. By 31 October 1940 the across the Neman River to in- 16 army commanders, 50 of the et winter. two waves. The aircraft includ- Luftwaffe planes had bombed Battle of Britain was over. The vade Russia. As history tells us, 57 corps commanders, 154 of The Red Army absorbed the ed fighters, level bombers, dive London. This was probably by Germans had failed to gain air Napoleon was not successful. the 186 divisional commanders, Wehrmacht’s strongest blows bombers, and torpedo bombers, mistake or simply because they superiority and Hitler first post- Military doctrine also tells and 401 of 456 colonels were and forced the unprepared Ger- launched from six aircraft car- were unloading their bombs poned and the later cancelled us that it is not a good idea to killed, and many other officers mans into a war of attrition. The riers. randomly in order to escape Operation Sea Lion. fight a war on two fronts. By were dismissed. In total, about Wehrmacht would never again They sent a signal back, fighters. Churchill ordered the failing to defeat the British be- 30,000 Red Army personnel mount a simultaneous offensive “Tora, tora, tora” (Tiger, tiger, first deliberate bombing of the Invasion of Russia, 1941 fore he invaded Russia, Hitler were executed. along the entire strategic Sovi- tiger), the code to indicate that German capital in retaliation. It was the philosopher, essay- had done exactly that – started Stalin further underscored et–Axis front. The failure of the the attack had achieved total At 00h20 on 26 August 1940, ist, poet and novelist George a war on two fronts. Yet Hitler his control by reasserting the operation drove Hitler to de- surprise. Japanese losses were Berlin was bombed by the Santayana that said, “Those was convinced that Unterne- role of political commissars at mand further operations of in- light: 29 aircraft and five midg- 10 11 et submarines lost, and 64 ser- many as possible of the French vicemen killed. One Japanese rearguard. Over 26,000 French sailor, Kazuo Sakamaki, was soldiers were evacuated on that captured. last day, but between 30,000 All eight US Navy battleships and 40,000 more were left be- were damaged, with four sunk. hind and forced to surrender to All but the USS Arizona were the Germans. later raised, and six were re- Luftwaffe commander Her- turned to service and went on to mann Göring asked for the fight in the war. The Japanese chance to destroy the forces also sank or damaged three in Dunkirk. The Allied forces’ OPERATION DYNAMO: The Royal Navy was able to evacuate cruisers, three destroyers, an destruction was thus initially more than 300,000 British and French troops off the beaches at anti-aircraft training ship, and Dunkirk. assigned to the air force while one minelayer. One hundred the German infantry organised eighty-eight U.S. aircraft were On 11 December 1941 Germa- must not conceal from you that in Army Group B. Von Rundst- destroyed; 2,403 Americans ny and Italy declared war on a great part of the BEF and its edt later called this “one of the were killed and 1,178 others America. equipment will inevitably be GAME OVER: A German survivor of the 6th Army is taken pris- great turning points of the war.” were wounded. Commander-in-chief of the lost in the best of circumstanc- oner by the Russian. By not finishing off the BEF While the Japanese attack had Japanese Imperial Navy, Ad- es”. Then, in one of the most de- 338,226 men escaped, includ- at Dunkirk and allowing more achieved surprise and caused miral Isoroku Yamamoto must On 26 May Eden told Gort bated decisions of the war, the ing 139,997 French, Polish, than 300,00 men to escape, considerable damage, they had have had a foreboding. “I fear that he might need to “fight Germans halted their advance and Belgian troops, together the Germans had made a cost- missed their main target – the all I have done is awakened a back to the west”, and ordered on Dunkirk. Contrary to popu- with a small number of Dutch ly mistake. If those men had American aircraft carriers. The sleeping giant and filled him him to prepare plans for the lar belief, what became known soldiers, aboard 861 vessels (of not been available it is doubt- USS Lexington was on its way with terrible resolve,” he said evacuation, but without telling as the “Halt Order” did not orig- which 243 were sunk during the ful that the British would have to Midway Island. The USS after the bombing of Pearl Har- the French or the Belgians. Gort inate with Adolf Hitler. Gen- operation that was code named been able to defend Egypt the Enterprise was scheduled to be bour. was already one step ahead. He eralobersten (Colonel-Gener- Operation Dynamo). following year. If the Germans in Pearl Harbour on 6 Decem- had foreseen the order and pre- als) Gerd von Rundstedt and The docks at Dunkirk were had taken Egypt and the valua- ber on her way back from Wake Dunkirk, 1940 liminary plans were already in Günther von Kluge suggested too badly damaged to be used, ble oil field of the Middle East, Island, but was delayed by bad By 26 May 1940, the British hand. The first such plan, for a that the German forces around but the East and West Moles the final outcome of the war weather. The USS Saratoga was Expeditionary Force (BEF) and defence along the Lys Canal, the Dunkirk pocket should (sea walls protecting the har- could have been very different. in San Diego. the French 1st Army were bot- could not be carried out be- cease their advance on the port bour entrance) were intact. The biggest mistake the Jap- tled up in a corridor to the sea, cause of German advances on and consolidate to avoid an Al- Captain William Tennant—in Stalingrad, 1942 anese made at Pearl Harbour about 97 km deep and 24–40 26 May, with the 2nd and 50th lied breakout. Hitler sanctioned charge of the evacuation—de- This was the battle that ulti- was that they didn’t attack the km wide. Most of the British Divisions pinned down, and the the order on 24 May. cided to use the beaches and mately cost Germany the war. important base installations. forces were still around Lil- 1st, 5th and 48th Divisions un- Hitler did not rescind the Halt the East Mole to land the ships. The battle took place from 23 The power station, dry docks, le, over 64 km from Dunkirk, der heavy attack. Order until the evening of 26 This highly successful idea August 1942 to 2 February shipyard maintenance, fuel and with the French further south. The 2nd Division took heavy May. The three days thus gained hugely increased the number of 1943 at a city on the banks of torpedo storage facilities, sub- Two massive German armies casualties trying to keep a corri- gave a vital breathing space to troops that could be embarked the Volga River in Southern marine pens and headquarters flanked them. General Fedor dor open, being reduced to bri- the Royal Navy to arrange the each day and on 31 May, over Russia. The city was named building, which also housed the von Bock’s Army Group B was gade strength, but they succeed- evacuation of the British and 68,000 men were embarked. Stalingrad, after Soviet leader intelligence section, were not at- to the east, and General Gerd ed; the 1st, 3rd, 4th and 42nd Allied troops. About 338,000 The last of the British Army Joseph Stalin. Marked by fierce tacked. Had they been attacked von Rundstedt’s Army Group A Divisions escaped along the men were rescued in about 11 left on 3 June, and at 10:50, close quarters combat and di- and damaged or destroyed, the to the west. corridor that day, as did about days. Of these some 215,000 Tennant signalled Command- rect assaults on civilians in air Americans would have been The Germans confidently one-third of the French First were British and 123,000 were er-in-Chief of the Royal Navy, raids, it is often regarded as the denied Pearl Harbour as a base. believed that the Allied troops Army. As the Allies fell back, French, of whom 102,250 es- Vice Admiral Bertram Ramsay, single largest (nearly 2.2 mil- The following day US Pres- were doomed. BEF command- they disabled their artillery and caped in British ships. to say “Operation completed. lion personnel) and bloodiest ident Franklin D. Roosevelt er General Lord Gort tended to vehicles and destroyed their The War Office made the Returning to Dover”. Churchill (1.7–2 million killed, wounded declared war on Japan and pro- agree with the Germans. Writ- stores. On 27 May, the British decision to evacuate British insisted on coming back for the or captured) battle in the histo- claimed 7 December 1941 “a ing to Secretary of State for fought back to the Dunkirk pe- forces on 25 May. In the nine French and the Royal Navy re- ry of warfare. It was a battle in day which will live in infamy.” War, Anthony Eden, he said, “I rimeter line. days from 27 May–4 June, turned on 4 June, to rescue as which Germany lost an entire 12 13 army of more than half a mil- lion men. The German 6th Army and el- ements of the 4th Panzer Army were used for the offensive. The attack was supported by intensive Luftwaffe bombing that reduced most of the city to rubble. The fighting degenerat- ed into house-to-house combat and both sides poured rein- forcements into the city. Stalin was determined that the city named after him would not fall. Hitler was just as determined that it would. By mid-November 1942 the Germans had pushed the Sovi- ROOM BY ROOM: The Battle of Stalingrad featured fierce et defenders back at great cost house-to-house fighting and close combat. into narrow zones along the west bank of the Volga River. It 1943 the Axis forces in Stalin- 156,987 rifles, 80,438 sub-ma- seemed that victory was within grad had exhausted their ammu- chine guns, 10,722 trucks, 744 the grasp of the Germans. nition and food. Field Marshal aircraft; 1,666 tanks, 261 other On 19 November 1942, the Paulus, recently promoted by armoured vehicles, 571 half- Red Army launched Operation Hitler, surrendered the remain- tracks and 10,679 motorcycles Bush War Books has probably one of the finest Uranus, a two-pronged attack ing units of the 6th Army. The were captured by the Soviets. targeting the weaker Romani- battle has lasted five months, An unknown amount of Hun- collections of military titles available. Especially an and Hungarian armies pro- one week and three days. garian, Italian, and Romanian on the South African Border War. tecting the German 6th Army’s The Axis suffered 627,899 to- materiel was lost. Out of the flanks. The Axis forces on the tal casualties (wounded, killed, nearly 91,000 German prison- flanks were overrun and the 6th captured) among all branches ers captured in Stalingrad, only Army was cut off and surround- of the German armed forces about 5,000 ever returned to ed in the Stalingrad area. and its allies; 282,606 in the 6th Germany. Click here to visit their website. The 6th Army could have at- Army from 21 August to the end The USSR, according to tempted a break out of Stalin- of the battle, 17,293 in the 4th archival figures, suffered grad when it was clear that de- Panzer Army from 21 August to 1,129,619 total casualties; feat was inevitable, and before 31 January, 109,000 Romanians 478,741 personnel killed or the noose surrounding Stalin- of which at least 70,000 were missing, and 650,878 wound- grad tightened. Adolf Hitler captured or missing, 114,000 ed or sick. The USSR lost would have nothing to do with Italians and 105,000 Hungar- 4,341 tanks destroyed or dam- the idea. He ordered General ians were killed, wounded or aged, 15,728 artillery pieces Freidrich Paulus to remain in captured. and 2,769 combat aircraft. 955 Stalingrad and make no attempt The Germans lost 900 air- Soviet civilians died in Stalin- to break out. His order were “to craft (including 274 transports grad and its suburbs from aerial fight to the last man and last and 165 bombers used as trans- bombing by Luftflotte 4 as the bullet.” Instead attempts were ports), 500 tanks and 6,000 ar- German 4th Panzer and 6th Ar- made to supply the army by air tillery pieces. According to a mies approached the city. and to break the encirclement contemporary Soviet report, Stalingrad was a turning point from the outside. 5,762 guns, 1,312 mortars, for the Germans, and in fact a “War does not determine who is right - only who is left” By the beginning of February 12,701 heavy machine guns, turning point in World War II. 14 00 Under three flags Some men have fought in three different wars, but rarely have they fought for three different countries. This was one such man. en, and women, fight The Soviets were confident He vowed revenge against the in wars for different of a quick victory over Finland. Soviet Union and he was not Mreasons. Often it is After all, they had more men particular how he achieved it. because they have no choice in and were better armed. This Which was probably why the matter. Many are conscript- confidence was soon shattered. in 1941 he headed for Vienna ed or forced to fight. Yet many The Finns were realistic,. in Austria. He spent the next others fight because they want They knew that had no hope of seven weeks training with the do. defeating the Soviet invaders. Waffen Schutzstaffel (Waffen Those that choose to fight Their plan was to fight a war SS), the ‘Protective Squadron’ also do so for different rea- of attrition while they tried to of German’s Nazi party. He did sons. Some will fight because convince the outside world to so well during his training that they feel it is a duty they owe help. he was given the rank of Unter- THREE COUNTRIES, THREE SIDES: Lauri Törni fought against the communists with three dif- their country. Others will fight When no outside help was sturmführer. ferent armies, from left: Finland, Nazi Germany, and the United States Army. to defend their family and forthcoming, the Finns went it Once he had completed his home. Then there are those that alone. They surprised not only training he returned to Finland, Finland gave a good ac- Finland had signed required land in June. choose to fight because of what the Russians, but the rest of the and just in time. On 22 June count of themselves in the fight them to demobilise its military, The timing couldn’t have they believe in. The last type world as well. 1941 the Soviets invaded Fin- against Russia. They actually leaving only a small force to been worse for Törni. Finland will sometimes fight regardless Törni did his part, fighting land once again, kicking off the penetrated Soviet territory until deal with the Germans. Törni was anxious to disassociate it- of what side they are on. against the Soviets at Rautu and Continuation War. the Finns were forced to retreat found that by November he was self from its former ally, so One such man not only again at Lake Ladoga. In this In the Soviet’s defence, they and sign the Moscow Armistice unemployed. Törni was arrested for fight- fought for three different coun- last battle the Finns took ad- had little choice. That was the on 19 September 1944. This Although Törni was a pa- ing for the wrong side. He was ties, he also fought in three sep- vantage of poor Soviet tactics. same day that Germany invad- was followed by the 1947 Par- triot, he did no agree with his charged with treason. He was arate wars. Yet even though he Using a guerilla tactic known as ed Russia and to secure their is Peace Treaty, which formally country’s decision to expel thrown into prison, but he es- fought for different sides, he motti, the Finns encircled three northwestern border they had ended the war. The Finns had to the German forces. It wasn’t caped. fought against what he consid- enemy divisions near Viipuri on to take Finland - or at least try. give up territory and pay repa- that he had become pro-Nazi, He was recaptured in April ered to be the same enemy. 23 December. This time, however, Finland rations, but had firm guarantees it was just that he was fiercely 1946 and sentenced to six years Lauri Allan Törni was born Although the Soviets were was not alone. They now had an of their independence - a state anti-Soviet and fanatically an- in prison. Yet again he escaped, on May 28, 1919 in Viipuri, defeated at this battle, it came at ally against the Soviets - Nazi of affairs still recognised today. ti-Communist. and yet again he was recaptured. Finland. As a youngster he en- a heavy price. More than 1,300 Germany. Törni was awarded Finland’s He was also convinced that He served two years before re- joyed sports and was friends Finns were killed. Soviet loses And Törni would get the re- highest military decoration - the Finland had not seen the last ceiving a pardon from the pres- with Sten “Stepa” Suvio, the were even higher. venge he had been seeking. Mannerheim Cross of the Order of the Soviet Union. So when ident in December 1948. welterweight boxer that won a Although the Finns held out Once again he distinguished of the Cross of Liberty. The cel- a pro-German resistance move- By this stage he was fed up gold medal at the 1936 Summer for over three months, the end himself and was placed in ebrations were, however, very ment approached him in Janu- with his country and he made Olympics in Berlin. result was inevitable. On 12 charge of a unit informally brief. ary 1945, he was all ears. Once his way to Sweden the follow- While Törni was studying at March 1940 they signed the named “Detachment Törni”. As part of the armistice signed again he found himself in Ger- ing year. business school he joined the Moscow Peace Treaty. The war His group was a constant with the Soviets, the Finns were many, learning to be a saboteur In 1950 he boarded a car- Civil Guard. When he graduat- officially ended the following thorn in the Soviet’s side. They required to expel all German until his training was cut short go ship bound for America. In ed in 1938 at the age of 19, he day, with Finland losing territo- operated behind enemy lines, forces on their soil. This result- in March. 1954 he joined the US Army. joined the 4th Independent Jae- ry in exchange for the guaran- carrying out attacks and sabo- ed in the Lapland War between Unable to return to Finland, By then he had a new name - ger Battalion, an elite infantry tee of independence. tage operations. They were so Finland and Germany. The war he joined a local unit fighting Larry Thorne. unit. Törni had distinguished him- effective that the Soviets put a would last from September to the Soviets near Schwerin be- With his experience he was Not long after that, on 30 No- self during the Winter War and bounty on Törni’s head for 3 November 1944 and result in fore surrendering to the Allies. soon on his way into the Spe- vember 1939, the Soviet Union had been promoted to the rank million Finnish marks (more over 8,000 casualties. They threw him in a POW cial Forces. While in the Spe- invaded Finland. It was the start of 2nd lieutenant. Yet instead than six million rands). No one Törni played no part in this camp in Lübeck, which he es- cial Forces, he taught skiing, of the Winter War. of celebrating, he was seething. ever tried to collect the bounty. war. Part of the armistice that caped, finally returning to Fin- survival, mountaineering, and 16 17 guerrilla tactics. In turn he at- rank of major and posthumous- tended airborne school, and ly awarded the Legion of Mer- advanced in rank; attending Of- it and Distinguished Flying Winterhope 2018 ficer Candidate School, he was Cross. commissioned as a 1st lieuten- In 1999 his remains were ant in the Signal Corps in 1957. found by a Finnish and Joint In November 1963 he was de- Task Force-Full Accounting ployed to South Vietnam as part team and repatriated to the of Special Forces Detachment United States following a Ha- A-734. They were stationed in noi Noi Bai International Air- the Tịnh Biên District and as- port ceremony that included signed to operate Civilian Ir- Secretary of State Madeleine regular Defence Group (CIDG) Albright and Ambassador Pete encampments at Châu Lăng and Peterson. later Tịnh Biên. Formally identified in 2003, During a fierce attack on the his remains were buried on 26 CIDG camp in Tịnh Biên, he June 2003 at Arlington Nation- received two Purple Hearts and al Cemetery. He was memori- a Bronze Star Medal for valour alized on the Vietnam Veterans during the battle. This attack Memorial. would later be described by au- As for Finland, they consider thor Robin Moore in his book him a national hero, once more. The Green Berets. Mannerheim Cross of the His second tour in Vietnam Lauri Allan Törni Order of the Cross of Liberty. began in February 1965 with Decorations 5th Special Forces Group; he then transferred to Military Finnish Decorations Assistance Command, Viet- • 2nd class medal of Freedom, nam - Studies and Observations 26 July 1940 Group (MACV–SOG), a classi- • 1st class medal of Freedom, fied US special operations unit 24 August 1940 Mutual Help Project focusing on unconventional • 3rd class Cross of Liberty, 9 Decorations and medals DATE: FRIDAY 01 JUNE 2018 warfare in Vietnam, as a mili- October 1941 • Legion of Merit PLACE: TOMMY RENDLE VC SHELLHOLE, KOEBERG ROAD, RUGBY tary advisor. • 4th class Cross of Liberty, • Distinguished Flying Cross TIME: 19H00 On 18 October 1965, he was 23 May 1942 • Bronze Star Medal with “V” ENTRANCE FEE: OLD CLOTHES, BLANKETS ETC supervising a clandestine mis- • Mannerheim Cross, 9 July device sion to locate Viet Cong turn- 1944 • Purple Heart with oak leaf around points along Ho Chi • 1st Div. Memorial Cross cluster Come open your hearts and cupboards. Please donate old clothes, tinned food, blan- Minh trail and destroy them • Border Jaeger Troops Cross • Air Medal kets – anything that will keep somebody in need, warm this coming winter. with airstrikes. • Defense Forces Bronze • Army Commendation Med- During the operation his Re- Medal al You will receive a complimentary sherry (for the cold) at the door. Homemade soup public of Vietnam Air Force • Good Conduct Medal CH-34 helicopter crashed in a German Decorations • National Defense Service and bread will be available for R10.00 per cup. Cash Bar will be open. mountainous area of Phước Sơn Iron Cross, 2 class, 11 Decem- Medal with star District, Quảng Nam Province, ber 1943 • Vietnam Service Medal with Vietnam, 40 km from Da Nang. two campaign stars Rescue teams were unable to United States Army • Republic of Vietnam Cam- locate the crash site. Badges paign Medal Shortly after his disappear- • Combat Infantry Badge Hope to see you there ance, he was promoted to the • Master Parachutist Badge 18 Rank Structure - WWII German Military Over the next few months we will be running a series of articles looking at the rank structure of various armed forces. This month we look at the German Military in World War II he German Wehrmacht Colour Army Unteroffizier Unterfeldwebel Feldwebel Oberfeldwebel Stabsfeldwebel (Defence Force) was di- (Sergeant) (S/Sergeant) (Sergeant 1st Class) (Master Sergeant) (Sergeant Major) Tvided up into four main Generals, Artillery, Heavy Anti-Aircraft fighting branches. General Staff Corps, Veterinary These were the Heer (Army), Officers Luftwaffe (Air Force), Kriegs- Armour, Armour Reconnaissance marine (Navy), and the Waffen Schutzstaffel or Waffen SS Military Police (Armed Protective Echelon). Specialist Service The Waffen SS was the armed wing of the Nazi Party’s SS or- Ordnance ganisation. Reconnaissance, Cavalry Leutnant Oberleutnant Hauptmann Major Oberstleutnant Oberst The Waffenfarbe was a co- (2nd Lieutenant) (1st Lieutenant) (Captain) (Lt/Colonel) (Colonel) lour code system to identify Signal branch of service i.e. white was the colour of the Infantry. The Mountain & Light Infantry Waffenfarbe was used on head Armoured Infantry gear either as Soutache or pip- ing, or on the uniform of collar Infantry patches, epaulets and on certain Transport & Supply Generalmajor Generalleutnant General der (arm) General Generalfeldmarshall uniforms piping on the collar. (Brig Gen) (Major General) (Lt General) (Field Marshal) See the chart on the right. Medical Combat & Construction Engineer Specialist Officers Luftwaffe (Air Force) Propaganda Troops Non-commissioned Officers (NCO)

Heer (Army)

Non-commissioned Officers (NCO) Gefreiter Obergefreiter Hauptgefreiter Unteroffizier Unterfeldwebel (Aircraftsman (Leading (Senior (Corporal) (Corporal) 1st Class)) Aircraftsman) Aircraftsman)

The Fallschirmjäger were the parachute branch of the Wehrmacht. They fell un- der the control of the Luftwaffe. You can read more details of the Fallschirmjäger and their leader, General Kurt Student, in the December 2017 issue of Military Obergrenadier Gefreiter Obergefreiter Obergefreiter Stabsgefreiter Despatches. (Private 1st Class) (Lance Corporal) (Corporal) (Senior Corporal) (Admin Corporal) 20 21 Officers

Feldwebel Oberfeldwebel Stabsfeldwebel (Sergeant) (Flight Sergeant) (Warrant Officer) Leutnant zur Oberleutnant Kapitän- Korvetten- Fregatten- Kapitän zur See zur See leutnant kapitän kapitän See Officers

Leutnant Oberleutnant Hauptmann Major Oberstleutnant Oberst Kommodore Konteradmiral Admiral General- Großadmiral (Pilot Officer) (Flying Officer) (Flight (Squadron (Wing (Group Vizeadmiral admiral Lieutenant) Leader) Commander) Captain) Waffen SS

Generalmajor Generalleutnant General der Generaloberst Generalfeldmar- Reichs- Non-commissioned Officers (NCO) (Air (Air Vice (arm) (Air Chief shall (Air Chief marschall Commodore) Marshal) (Air Marshal) Marshal) Marshal)

Kriegsmarine (Navy) SS-Oberschutze SS-Sturmann SS-Rottenfuhrer

Seaman Ranks

SS-Unter- SS-Scharfuhrer SS-Oberscharfuhrer SS-Haupt- SS-Sturm- scharfuhrer scharfuhrer scharfuhrer

Officers

Matrosengefreiter Matrosen- Matrosen- Matrosen- Matrosen- obergefreiter hauptgefreiter stabsgefreiter oberstabsgefreiter

Petty Officer, Chief Petty Officer, & Warrant Officer SS-Unter- SS-Ober- SS-Haupt- SS-Sturm- SS-Obersturm- SS-Stand- sturmfuhrer sturmfuhrer sturmfuhrer bannfuhrer bannfuhrer artenfuhrer

Maat Obermaat Feldwebel Stabs- Ober- Stabsober- feldwebel feldwebel feldwebel SS-Oberfuhrer SS-Brigade- SS-Grup- SS-Obergrup- SS-Oberstgrup- fuhrer penfuhrer penfuhrer penfuhrer

22 23 A matter of survival - survival tin 1 2 Over the next few months we will be running a series of articles looking at survival, something that has always been important for those in the military. We start off by looking at how to put 3 4 together a survival tin.

n our modern world of tion, a few key items can make high-tech gadgets and in- all the difference. Istant communication, it is The idea is to put together a 5 6 difficult to believe that anyone small survival kit. An old to- could find themselves in a sur- bacco tin is ideal for this. Make vival situation. Think again. sure the inside is polished so 7 You go for a hike in the that it can be used as a signal- mountains. The next thing the ling mirror. weather closes in, the tempera- Each of the items in the tin waterproof matches by dipping ture plummets, and you find have earned their place. Make it the head in melted candle wax. yourself lost. Congratulations, a habit to keep your tin on you Matches are the easiest way you’re in a survival situation. when you are travelling any- to start a fire, but don’t waste You’re on a flight somewhere where. I keep mine in my cam- them. Use a match only when 8 and the plane has to make a era jacket pocket and there have you have tried any of the other 10 forced landing in some remote been many occasions when the methods. Take them from the 9 jungle or a desert. Once again contents have helped me out. tin one at a time and replace the you’re in a survival situation. Some of the items are more lid. Never leave the container The problems of survival are useful in certain situations. For open or lying on the ground. the same for both soldiers and example a fish hook and line civilians. The difference is that is invaluable in a jungle where 2. Candle soldiers may need to hide their there are rivers, but would be A candle has two uses. Once 13 presence, whereas civilians will useless in a desert. it is lit you can use it to start 11 14 want to attract attention. Seal the tin with electri- a number of fires. It is also a 12 Water, food, fire and shelter cal tape to keep it waterproof. source of light. are essential needs for survival. Check the contents often and Shave your candle into a You must know how to obtain replace any items that have de- square shape so that it fits into them if you want to survive. teriorated. Mark all drug con- the tin. In many countries around the tainers with the use and dosage world soldiers are taught sur- and keep an eye on the expiry 3. Flint and striker 15 18 vival skills. Some of the train- date. Replace when needed. Flints will work even when ing is very basic, while some Pack any spare space in the wet. They will go on striking special units are taught ad- container with cotton wool. long after you have run out of vanced survival skills. This will keep the contents matches. 16 No matter what your level of from rattling around and it can Invest in a good flint with a 17 training is, in a survival situa- be used for fire lighting. Fire is saw striker. tion you will have to do exactly vital to survival and there are that - survive. You need to stay four items in the tin for making 4. Magnifying glass 21 alive until help either reaches it. A magnifying glass can be 20 you, or you reach help. used to start a fire from di- 19 Personally, I like the Boy 1. Matches rect sunlight. It is also useful Scouts motto “Be Prepared”. Waterproof matches are use- for searching for splinters and While you can never really be ful but are often expensive to stings. prepared for a survival situa- buy. You can make your own Get a small magnifying glass

24 25 and remove the handle to save cent one because some of the 17. Scalpel space. cheap ones are useless. You can get a credit card type Semper fi Gunny Cover it in a light film of surgical scalpel that was de- Former Marine drill instructor and actor R. Lee Ermey, who played the iconic role of Gunnery Ser- 5. Needles and thread grease to protect it from rust. signed by the World Health Or- geant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket, has passed away at the age of 74. Pack several needles, includ- ganisation. ing one with a very large eye that Medical Kit I actually keep mine in my ften as former military rey enrolled at the University can be threaded with sinew and If you are on any prescription wallet. I don’t know how many people we will watch of Manila in the Philippines. coarse threads. Choose strong drugs, may sure you pack some. times I’ve been through airport a movie and think that It was while there that he was thread and wrap it around the Otherwise there are certain security, forgetting that it’s in O the actor is about as believable cast in his first film. He played a needles or a piece of cardboard. items that will always useful. my wallet. As yet, no-one has as a politician dishing out elec- First Air Cavalry chopper pilot ever stopped me. tion promises. in Apocalypse Now, doubling 6. Fish hooks and line 11. Pain killer Yet sometimes you will as a technical advisor to direc- Take a selection of fish hooks Myprodol is good for this. 18. Butterfly sutures watch an actor and think, “that tor Francis Ford Coppola. in a small packet. Add a few Not only is it a pain killer but it These are normally used for guy is for real. He’s been there For the next few years he small lead weights. Remember is also an inflammatory. fastening bandages. Yet they before.” played a series of minor film DON’T EYEBALL ME: R. Lee that a small hook can catch both are also excellent for closing a Many actors, and actress- roles. Then came his big break. Emrey as Gunnery Sergeant large and small fish, while a big 12. Intestinal sedative wound. es, actually served in the mili- He was hired as a technical Hartman in Full Metal Jacket. hook will only catch big ones. Diarrhea is not fun in any sit- tary (Read “10 Celebrities that advisor for Stanley Kubrick’s Include as much line as pos- uation. One of the problems is 19. Plasters served in the military” - Octo- 1987 film Full Metal Jacket. was dictated by viewer e-mails; sible as it will also be useful for that it can cause rapid dehydra- Assorted sizes, preferably ber 2017). Ronald Lee Ermey Kubrick saw an instructional one episode focused on an M1 catching birds. tion. waterproof. They can be used was one such person. video tape which Emrey put to- Abrams tank, while others in- Immodium is usually fa- for minor abrasions and keep- Born in Kansas on 24 March gether in which he went on an volved World War II secrets, 7. Compass voured to treat this condition. ing cuts clean. They can also be 1944 he often got into trouble extended tirade towards several and others focused on elements A small luminous button cut as butterfly sutures. with the local authorities as a extras. Kubrick cast him in the of medieval warfare. compass is ideal. Don’t go for 13. Antibiotic teenager. After he was arrested role of Gunnery Sergeant Hart- In 2009, Ermey hosted a something cheap and nasty. It is For general infections Tet- 20. Credit card survival tool for the second time for crim- man. second History Channel show pointless taking something that racycline can be used even by You can get various different inal mischief at the age of 17, Kubrick allowed Ermey to entitled Lock n’ Load with R. is not going to indicate the cor- people hypersensitive to peni- types and they are far more use- the judge gave him the choice write or edit his own dialogue Lee Ermey, which discussed rect direction. cillin. ful than they seem. between prison and joining the and improvise on the set, a no- the history of various weapons It is also advisable that you Like the scalpel, they can eas- military. He chose the military. table rarity in a Kubrick film. used by militaries of today. know how to read a compass. 14. Water sterilizing tablets ily be carried in your wallet. In 1961 he enlisted in the Kubrick later indicated that Ermey died at a hospital in These are vital. Water should United States Marine Corps and Ermey was an excellent per- Santa Monica, California from 8. Beta light always be boiled if possible yet 21. Condom did his recruit training at Ma- former, often needing just two complications related to pneu- These work similar to a glow- this cannot always be done. This may seem like an odd rine Corps Recruit Depot San or three takes per scene, also monia on the morning of 15 stick, except that they will last Invest in a good brand of wa- item. Yet they make an excel- Diego. unusual for a Kubrick film. April 2018. He was 74 years for ages and can be turned on ter sterilizing tablet. They may lent water bag and can hold a He spent 14 months in Viet- He was brilliant in the film, old. and off. save your life. litre of water with ease. nam and would go on to rise to stealing every scene he was in. The last line of the Marine They are ideal for reading a Try and find a non-lubricated the rank of staff sergeant. He Ermey’s performance won Corps Hymn go; map at night and can also be 15. Anti-malaria tablets one if possible as lubricated became a drill instructor at the critical raves and he was nomi- If the Army and the Navy used as a fishing lure. Malaria is not something to ones can give the water an odd very same base where he did nated for a Golden Globe Award Ever look on Heaven’s play around with. These are es- taste. his initial training. as Best Supporting Actor. scenes; 9. Snare wire sential in areas where malaria is He was medically discharged Ermey subsequently ap- They will find the streets are Brass wire is the best. About present. There are some types And that’s it for this first ar- because of several injuries in- peared in about 60 films and guarded 60-90 cm should do. It is used which require only one tablet a ticle in the series. Next month curred during his service. On 17 made a number of appearances By United States Marines. to make snares, but could solve month. we will look at putting togeth- May 2002 he received an hon- in television shows. And R. Lee Ermey is sure to many survival problems. er a survival pouch as well as orary promotion to the rank of In Mail Call, which was be one of those marines guard- 16. Antihistamine choosing a survival knife. gunnery sergeant by the Com- shown on the History Channel, ing the streets. 10. Flexible saw For allergies, insect bites and mandant of the Marine Corps, Ermey discussed weaponry, tac- These can be used to cut even stings. Benadryl is good for this General James L. Jones. tical matters, and military his- quite large trees. Invest in a de- and is readily obtainable. On leaving the military, Em- tory. Mail Call’s subject matter 26 27 Head to Head Finland the Ilmavoimat (Finnish Air After the war, he was con- Force). They had 13 aces with victed of spying for Swe- Fighter Aces of World War II 20 or more kills. All of their den. He retired in Novem- aces survived the war. ber 1951 after he was found n last month’s head-to- June 1944 the first jet-powered his air service brought to the Their top five aces were: guilty of espionage for hav- head, we looked at the top aircraft was in combat. By the awarding of victory credits. • Ilmari Juutilainen (94 kills). ing handed over some aerial fighter aces of World War I. end of the war a total of five dif- The pilots of World War II He was the top non-German photographs to a man who I ace of World War II. After worked for the Swedish in- As mentioned in the last article, ferent jets had seen combat. achieved a far greater number a fighter ace was someone that Fighter aces in World War II of kills than those of World War the wars he served in the air telligence service. had been credited with shooting had tremendously varying kill I. The top fighter ace of World force until 1947. He worked • Urho Lehtovaara (44 kills). down five or more enemy- air scores, affected as they were by War I was Manfred von Rich- as a professional pilot until He was awarded the Man- craft. This month we look at the many factors: the pilot’s skill thofen, the famed ‘Red Baron’, 1956. nerheim Cross on 9 July top fighter aces of World War II. level, the performance of the air- with 80 kills. In World War II, • Hans Wind (75 kills). He 1944. The aircraft flown in World plane he flew and those he flew 150 pilots surpassed von Rich- was awarded the Manner- • Oiva Tuominen (44 kills). War II were far superior to against, how long he served, his thofen’s score. heim-risti (Mannerheim After the war Tuominen re- those flown 21 years earlier. opportunity to meet the enemy Once again in this article Cross of Liberty), Finland’s signed from military service Aircraft technology also in- in the air (Allied to Axis dis- we are looking at pilots that Ilmari Juutilainen highest military decoration, and became a taxi operator. creased in leaps and bounds. By proportion), and the standards achieved 20 or more kills. twice. He remained an active sports Pilots from Finland flew for Germany • Eino Luukkanen (56 kills). pilot well into old age. German pilots flew for the to the Red Army. He spent Japan Luftwaffe, which was headed 10 years in various Soviet four were killed in action. by Reichsmarschall Hermann prison camps and gulags un- • Tetsuzo Iwamoto (80 kills). Kills in other Wars Göring. He had been a fighter til he was released in 1955. He survived the war only to • 12 German aces scored ace in World War I with 22 kills. In 1956 he joined the newly die from septicemia at the kills in the Spanish Civil Germany had 427 pilots with established West German young age of 38. War and six of them be- 20 or more kills. The most of German Air Force in the • Shigeo Fukumoto (72 kills). came aces. any country during the war. Bundeswehr. While he did survive the • Lev Shestakov (Russia) - In fact the top 120 aces of the • Gerhard Barkhorn (301 war, there are no records as had 39 kills in the Spanish war were all German. 182 of kills). He was the only oth- to what happened to him af- Civil War. these aces were killed in action. er pilot besides Hartmann terwards. • Seven Italian aces scored • Erich Hartmann (352 kills). to achieve more than 300 • Shoichi Sugita (70 kills). He victories in the Spanish He was nicknamed Bubi kills. In March 1944 he was killed in action on 15 Civil War and two became (The Kid) by his comrades was awarded the third-high- April 1945. aces. American ace Al- and the ‘Black Devil’ by est decoration in the Weh- • Hiromichi Shinohara (58 bert Baumler also became the Soviets. He flew 1,404 rmacht when he received the kills). On his first day in an ace in the Spanish Civil combat missions and par- Knight’s Cross of the Iron Bubi Hartmann combat he recorded 10 kills. War. ticipated in aerial combat Cross with Oak Leaves and Tetsuzo Iwamoto He would also go on to claim • Fourteen American aces on 825 separate occasions. Swords After the war he tive to the NATO Military a Japanese record by shoot- scored kills in the Korean 345 of the aircraft he shot joined the German Air Force Committee 1974–1975. Japanese pilots flew either for ing down 11 enemy aircraft War. Two of them became down were Soviet, while of the Bundeswehr, serving • Otto Kittle (267 kills). He the Dai-Nippon Teikoku Kai- in a single day. He was killed aces. seven were American. He until 1976. flew 583 combat missions on gun Kōkū-tai (Japanese Impe- in action on 27 August 1939 • Three German aces had was awarded the Knight’s • Gunther Rall (275 kills). the Eastern Front before being rial Navy Air Service) or the during the undeclared Sovi- kills in World War I. Two Cross of the Iron Cross with He ended the war with the killed on 14 February 1945. Dainippon Teikoku Rikugun et–Japanese border conflicts of them were also World Oak Leaves, Swords and rank of major. He served as • Walter Nowotny (258 kills). Kōkūbutai (Japanese Imperial in 1939. War I aces. Diamonds. After the war he Inspector of the Air Force He flew 442 combat mis- Army Air Service). • Takeo Okumura (54 kills). • Robin Olds of the USA surrendered to the Ameri- 1971–1974 and as the Ger- sions and was killed on 11 In total 13 of their aces He was killed in action on scored four kills in Viet- cans, but was handed over man Military Representa- November 1944. achieved 20 or more kills, and 22 September 1943. nam. 28 29 Romania Croatia Romanian pilots were part tress and two P-51 Mus- Croatian pilots flew for the ing the 1948 Arab-Israeli of the Aeronautica Regala Ro- tangs. He was killed on 18 Zrakoplovstvo Nezavisne War he flew combat mis- mana (Royal Romanian Air August 1944. Države Hrvatske (Air Force of sions against Israel. Follow- Force). • Ion Milu (45 kills). After the the Independent State of Croa- ing the war, he emigrated to Eight of their aces scored war he became a test pilot. tia) and fought on the side of Canada. more than 20 kills and one of • Daniel Vizanty (43 kills). the Germans. • Cvitan Galic (38 kills). He them was killed in action. He accumulated 4,600 fly- Two of their pilots went on to was awarded the German • Constantin Cantacuzino (69 ing hours during the war. achieve more than 20 kills, with Cross in Gold on 23 June kills). Nicknamed Bâzu, he After the war he was re- one of them being killed in ac- 1943. He also won the Iron came from a noble family. moved from the army by the tion. Cross 1st Class and 2nd He was the captain of the Communist regime. He was • Mato Dukovac (44 kills). He Class. He was killed in ac- Romanian ice hockey team charged with “conspiracy defected to the Soviet Union tion on 6 April 1944. He had at the World Championships against social order” and in September 1944 and was just landed after completing in 1931 and 1933. Not want- sentenced to five years in returned to Yugoslavia in a patrol and was in the act ing to live under a commu- prison, of which he served November 1944. After the of getting out of the cockpit nist regime after the war, two. In June 1977 he was war he worked as a flight when Spitfire IXs of No.2 he escape to Italy and later invited to Paris by mayor Constantin Cantacuzino Mato Dukovac instructor for the Yugoslav Squadron SAAF South Af- went to Spain where he flew Jacques Chirac. He never Air Force. In April 1945 he rican Air Force strafed the in air shows to earn a living. returned to Romania. defected to Italy and left in airfield. His plane was hit by • Alexandru Şerbănescu (47 • Tudor Greceanu (42 kills). 1946 and became a captain a bomb. kills). While most of his vic- After the war he was arrest- in the Syrian Air Force. Dur- tories were against the Rus- ed by the communist gov- sians, he did shoot down an ernment and spent a number America American B-17 Flying For- of years in prison. American pilots flew for ei- States Navy and was a win- Russia Romanian aircraft marking ther the United States Army Air ner of the Medal of Honor. Forces, United States Navy, or He also set a world single Flying for the Voyenno-Voz- golden stars and six Orders the United States Marine Corps mission aerial combat re- dushnye Sily (Soviet Air Force), of Lenin. He continued to Aviation. cord of shooting down nine Russian pilots saw extensive serve after the war and in A total of 27 Americans would enemy planes in one mis- action on the Eastern Front. 1968 he became Deputy go on to score 20 or more kills sion, on October 24, 1944. Twelve of their pilots would Chief of the Air Defense and six of them were killed in • Francis “Gabby” Gabreski go on to score more than 20 Forces. action. (28 kills). He was the top kills. • Kiriil Yevstigneyev (53 • Richard I. Bong (40 kills). American and United States • Ivan Kozhedub (66 kills). kills). He ended World War He was one of the most Army Air Forces fighter ace He was the Allied “Ace of II as the commander of the decorated American fighter over Europe in World War Aces” in World War II. In 178th Guard Fighter Air pilots of World War II. His II and a jet fighter ace with 1951, with the rank of colo- Regiment. In 1966 he be- awards included the Medal the Air Force in the Korean nel, he took part in the Kore- came a major general. of Honor. He was killed on War. an War but was not allowed • Dmitir Hlinka (50 kills). He 6 August 1945 while test- • Gregory “Pappy” Boying- permission to participate in was made a Hero of the So- ing a P-80 Shooting Star jet ton (28 kills). He received Richard I. Bong combat missions. He went viet Union twice. fighter in California. both the Medal of Honor on to become a general and • Arseniy Vorozheikin, Alex- • Thomas B. McGuire (38 and the Navy Cross. He flew Ivan Kozehedub was made an Aviation Mar- ander Koldunov, and Niko- kills). He was killed in ac- for the United States Marine shal in 1985. lay Skomorohov (all with tion on 7 January 1945 and Corps Aviation and the 1st • Alexdandr Pokryshkin (59 46 kills). In 1984 Koldunov posthumously awarded the American Volunteer Group, kills). Among the medals was promoted to Chief Mar- Medal of Honor. the ‘Flying Tigers’, in the he was awarded were three shal of Aviation. • David McCampbell (34 Republic of China Air Force Hero of the Soviet Union kills). He flew for the United in Burma. US aircraft marking 30 31 South Africa France South African pilots flew for served as a cadet on the French pilots flew for either al Air Force and the Free the Royal Air Force and the South African Training Ship the Royal Air Force or the Free French Airforce. After the South African Air Force. General Botha. This would French Air Force war he flew as a test pilot Four South African would later earn him the nickname Three French pilots achieved in 1946 and was later sent score 20 or more kills and one ‘Sailor’. After the war he be- 20 or more kills. to Czechoslovakia as air at- of them was killed in action. came involved in the South • Pierre Clostermann (33 taché. In 1948, he left the • Marmaduke “Pat” Pattle African domestic political kills). He was born in Bra- military and moved to the (40 kills). When he was re- scene and was a fierce op- zil but move to France to United States with his wife. jected by the South African ponent of the National Party complete his secondary • Jean Demozay (21 kills). Air Force at the age of 18, and the Apartheid system. education. He wrote a very Another pilot that flew he travelled to the UK and • Johannes Jacobus le Roux successful book Le Grand for the RAF and the Free joined the RAF in 1936. He (23 kills). Known as Chris, Cirque (The Big Show), on French Airforce. When the was the top British Com- he saw action in the Battle his experiences in the war. war ended he became depu- monwealth ace and was of France and later in North He also briefly re-enlisted in ty general commander of the awarded the Distinguished Africa. He was awarded the the Armée de l’Air in 1956– Air Schools in October 1945 Flying Cross and Bar. He Distinguished Flying Cross 57 to fly ground attack mis- and died in a plane crash on was killed in action on 20 and two Bars. He died in an Marmaduke Pattle Pierre Clostermann sions during the Algerian December 19 , 1945, three April 1941. aircraft accident on 9th Sep- War. months after the war had • Adolph “Sailor” Malan (32 tember 1944. der, the Distinguished Fly- • Marcel Albert (23 kills). ended. kills). He led No. 74 Squad- • Petrus ‘Dutch’ Hugo (22 ing Cross and two Bars. He flew for both the Roy- ron RAF during the Battle kills). He was awarded the He retired from the RAF in of Britain. In the 1920s he Distinguished Service Or- 1950 as a Group Captain. Slovak Republic Britain Their pilots flew for the Slov- and engineer. enské vzdušné zbrane (Slovak • Izidor Kovárik (28 kills). Commander Douglas Bad- Campaign and the Greek Air Force). They fought on the Among the medal he was er and Australian ace Tony Campaign. He was awarded side of the Germans in the Rus- awarded were the German Gaze. His numerous awards the DFC and Bar and the Air sian Campaign. Cross in Gold, and the Iron included the DSO and DFC Force Cross. He retired from Three of their pilots achieved Cross 1st and 2nd Class. He and Bar. After the war he the RAF as a squadron lead- more than 20 kills. Two of them was killed in an aircraft ac- participated in the Korean er on 3 June 1959. survived the war. cident on 11 July 1944. War, flying the American • Bob Braham (29 kills). He • Ján Režňák (32 kills). He • Jan Gerthoffer (26 kills). Lockheed F-80 Shooting flew Hawker Hurricanes and flew for the Slovak Air Force Although credited with 26 Star. He ended his career as De Havilland Mosquitos. until April 1945 when the kills, his final tally may an air vice marshal and was He was awarded the DSO retreating Germans invited have been as high as 33. appointed a Companion of and two Bars, the DFC and him to join the Luftwaffe. This would have made him the Order of the Bath (CB). two Bars, and the Air Force After the war he worked as a the top Slovak ace of World • Robert Tuck (30 kills). He Cross. He was shot down private flying instructor and War II. won the DSO, DFC and in June 1944 and spent the later as an aircraft designed two Bars, and the Air Force remainder of the war as a Ján Režňák Cross. On 28 January he wa POW at Stalag Luft III. Johnnie Johnson shot down and taken prisoner • James ‘Ginger’ Lacey (28 of war. In February 1945 he kills). He was the second Britain had 12 pilots that escaped and joined up with highest scoring RAF fighter would achieve 20 or more kills. the advancing Russians, pilot of the Battle of Britain. One of them was killed in action. where he spend some time He retired from the RAF • James Edgar Johnson (38 fighting alongside them. on 5 March 1967 as a flight kills). Early in the war he • William Vale (30 kills). He lieutenant often flew alongside Wing fought in the North African Focke Wulf FW 190 F-8

32 33 Hungary Canada Hungarian pilots flew for 1971 he died in a crash near them being killed in action. had a mental breakdown in the Magyar Királyi Honvéd Copenhagen while flying an Four Canadian pilots achieved 1949 and was diagnosed Légierő (Royal Hungarian Air Ilyushin Il-18 (HA-MOC). 20 or more kills, with one of with acute schizophrenia Force). The fought on the side He was due to retire in less them being killed in action. that was later pronounced of the Germans against the Rus- than three weeks. • George ‘Buzz’ Beurling (31 incurable. sians. • György Debrődy (26 kills). kills). He was known as • Henry Wallace McLeod (21 Three of their pilots would Not much is known about ‘The Falcon of Malta’ and kills). Like Beurling, he flew score more then 20 kills. him. While he did survive the ‘Knight of Malta’ after at Matla where he scored 13 • Dezső Szentgyörgyi (30 the war, he was seriously in- shooting down 27 Axis air- kills. It earned him the nick- kills). After the war, he re- jured. craft in just 14 days over name ‘The Eagle of Mal- turned home and became a • Lajos Tóth (26 kills). In the besieged Mediterranean ta’. He won the DSO, DFC pilot of the MASZOVLET March 1951 he was one of island. In 1948, he was re- and Bar. He was shot down (Hungarian-Soviet Air- 12 people charged with con- cruited to fly P-51 Mustangs and killed on 27 September lines) between 1946 and spiracy. He was sentenced for the Israeli Air Force. 1944. 1949. Between 1950 and to death and executed on 11 On 20 May 1948, while en- • Vernon Crompton Wood- 1956 he spent several years June 1651. In 1990 his sen- route to Israel, he was killed ward (20 kills). He flew for in Communist prisons, be- tence was overturned and Dezső Szentgyörgyi George Beurling in an aircraft crash in Rome. the RAF in North Africa, fore becoming a pilot of the he was promoted to posthu- • Edward F. Charles (22 kills). winning the DFC and Bar. renamed Malév Hungar- mous lieutenant colonel. Canadian pilots flew for the He was awarded the DSO, He retired in January 1963 ian Airlines. On 28 August Royal Air Force or the Royal DFC and Bar, and the Amer- and settled in Australia, Australia Canadian Air Force. ican Silver Star. After the where he formed an air char- Four Canadian pilots achieved war he returned to Canada ter company. Australian pilots flew for the Pacific Theatre. He was the more than 20 kills with one of and stayed in the RCAF. He Royal Australian Air Force. highest-scoring P-40 pilot Only one Australian pilot would from any air force and the Ireland achieve more than 20 kills. highest-scoring Allied pi- A number of Irishmen decid- wing in the history of aerial • Clive Cadwell (28 kills). lot in North Africa. He was ed to take up the fight against combat, at the age of just 21. He flew over 300 opera- awarded the DSO, DFC and Germany. They joined the Roy- On 20 February 1942 he was tional sorties and was one Bar. His military service al Air Force. wounded in a dogfight with of the few pilots to become ended in controversy, when Only one of them would go German FW 190s. He man- “an ace in a day”. In other he resigned in protest at the on to score more than 20 kills, aged to land and shut down words he shot down five or misuse of Australian First and he in turn was killed in ac- his engine before passing more enemy aircraft in a Tactical Air Force’s fighter tion. out from blood loss. He re- single day. He flew Curtiss units and was later court • Brendan ‘Paddy’ Finucane turned to operations on 13 P-40 Tomahawks and Kitty- martialed and convicted for (28 kills). He was award- March 1942. He was killed hawks in the North African trading liquor. ed the DSO, DFC and two in action on 15 July 1942 Campaign and Supermarine Bars. He flew in the Battle while leading a ground at- Spitfires in the South West of Britain. He is noted as be- tack on a German Army Clive Caldwell ing the youngest person ever camp at Étaples, France. given command of a fighter

Brendan Finucane

Spitfire Mk I

P-40 Tomahawk

34 35 New Zealand Top Aces of World War II Pilots from New Zealand flew After the war he remained in 1. Erich Hartmann - 352 6. Wilhelm Batz - 237 All were from the German for the Royal Air Force or the the RAF and retired in De- 2. Gerhard Barkhorn - 301 7. Erich Rudorffer - 222 Luftwaffe. Royal New Zealand Air Force. cember 1967 with the rank 3. Günther Rall - 275 8. Heinz Bär - 220 * denotes killed in action. Five of their pilots would of air commodore. 4. Otto Kittel * - 267 9. Hermann Graf - 212 score more then 20 kills. • William Crawford-Cromp- 5. Walter Nowotny * - 258 10. Heinrich Ehrler * - 208 • Colin Falkland Gray (27 ton (21 kills). Among his kills). It was only on his awards were Companion Ace in a day third attempt that he man- of the Order of Bath, Com- aged to pass the medical. He mander of the British Em- A number of pilots would Stanley W. Vejtasa, Edward Air Force). was awarded the DSO, DFC pire, DSO and Bar, DFC and go on to become an ‘Ace in a Cobb Outlaw and Vernon E. Three pilots would become and two Bars. After the war Bar, and the American Sil- Day’. This meant that they shot Graham were in the US Navy. Double Aces in a Day, shoot- he returned to New Zealand ver Star. He retired from the down five or more aircraft in a British pilots that became ing down 10 or more enemies on secondment to the Royal RAF in 1968 with the rank single day. an Ace in a Day were Archie in a single day. They were Erich New Zealand Air Force from of air vice marshal. Three Luftwaffe pilots be- McKellar, Nicholas Gresham Hartmann and Heinz Bär (both July 1945 to March 1946. • Raymond Hesselyn (21 came an Ace in a Day. They Cooke, Albert Lippett, Ronald German) and Hans Wind (Fin- He retired from the RAF in kills). He flew for the Roy- were Hans Waldmann, Heinz- Hamlyn, Charles H. Dyson (all land). March 1961 with the rank of al New Zealand Air Force Colin Gray Wolfgang Schnaufer and Max RAF), and Richard John Cork Even more remarkable were group captain. and took part in the Siege of Bucholz. from the Fleet Air Arm. the four pilots that became Tri- • Alan Deere (22 kills). He Malta. On 3 October 1943 just 42. Eight American pilots Others that achieved this were ple Aces in a Day. They shot took part in the Battle of he was shot down and spent • Evan Mackie (20 kills). A achieved the same. David Mc- Ilmari Juutilainen and Yrjö down 15 or more aircraft in a France, Battle of Britain, the remainder of the war as pilot with the Royal New Campbell (who achieved it Turkka (both from Finland), single day. and the Invasion of Nor- a POW. After the war he Zealand Air Force, he took twice), George E. Preddy, Jr., Clive Caldwell (Australia), Al- They were Emil Lang, Hans- mandy. He was awarded joined the RAF and held part in the Italian Campaign. Donald S. Bryan and Oscar F. bert Gerald Lewis (South Af- Joachim Marseille, August the DSO, DFC and Bar, the the rank of squadron leader After the war he returned to Perdomo were from the US rica), Pierre Le Gloan (France), Lambert and Hubert Strassl. All American DFC and the Or- when he died in hospital on New Zealand and continued Army Air Force. James E. Swett Brian Carbury (New Zealand), were from the Luftwaffe. der of the British Empire. 14 November 1963, aged his career as an electrician and Jefferson J. DeBlanc were Richard Joseph Audet (Canada) from the US Marine Corps. and Antoni Glowacki (Polish Italy Interesting trivia Part of the Axis power, Italian the C.205 to the P-39 Aira- • Hermann Graf of the Luft- an Me 262, making him pos- though he was a pilot, his pilots flew for the Regia Aero- cobra. waffe was the first ever pilot sibly the all time jet ace. kills were as a turret gunner nautica Italiana (Italian Air • Leonardo Ferrulli (22 kills). with 200 victories. • Included in Russell Ban- in a two-man fighter plane. Force). His first exposure to combat • Heinz-Wolfgang Schnaufer nock’s (Canada) 25 kills • With 12 kills Lydia Litvyak Three Italian pilots achieved was during the Spanish Civ- (Luftwaffe) was the top were 19 V-1 flying bombs. of the Soviet Union was the 20 or more kills. None of them il War where he achieved a night fighter ace of the war. • Jorma Sarvanto of Finland top female ace of the war. survived the war, with two of single kill. He was killed on • Werner Mölders (Luftwaffe) became an Ace in a Day by • Hans-Ulrich Rudel of the them killed in action. 5 July 1943 when he bailed was the first pilot to score shooting down five Russian Luftwaffe had nine kills. He • Teresio Vittoria Martinoli out from his damaged Mac- 100 victories. planes. It took him just four also had more than 2,000 (22 kills). One of the few pi- chi C.205. He was too low • Ivan Kozhedub of the Soviet minutes to do so. ground kills, destroying lots that fought both for and and his parachute did not Union was the top Allied Ace • James MacLachlan of the tanks, vehicles, artillery and against the Germans. After open. of the war. Two of his 66 kills RAF achieved 16 kills dur- even trains. the armistice of 8 September • Franco Lucchini (21 kills). were American planes that ing the war. Seven of these • Norman Williams (Austra- 1943, he joined the Aero- He became an ace during the attacked him by mistake. were after the amputation of lia) had eight kills - all as nautica Co-Belligerante Spanish Civil War, claiming • Kurt Welter of the Luftwaffe his left arm. a rear gunner in a Halifax (Co-Belligerent Air Force), five kills. He was killed in scored 63 kills. Fifty-six • Albert Lippett of the RAF bomber. This made him the fighting alongside the Al- action on 5 July 1943. Teresio Martinoli of his kills were as a night had 12 kills when he was only non-fighter ace of the lies. He lost his life in a fly- fighter. Twenty of these kills killed in action. He also be- war ing accident on 25 August were achieved while flying came an Ace in a Day. Al- 1944, while converting from 36 37 Buxton, a devout Christian ing machine at home. Our at- Famous Figures in Military History himself, cited three biblical tack just faded out ... And there verses for York to think about. we were, lying down, about • “He that hath no sword, let halfway across [the valley] and Alvin York him sell his cloak and buy those German machine guns The most decorated pacifist of World War I. one.” - Luke 22:36. and big shells getting us hard. • “Render unto to Caesar the With Sergeant Bernard Early things that are Caesar’s, and in command, four non-com- devoted Christian and had already married and relo- to get him to change his ways. to God the things that are missioned officers, including a pacifist, he initially cated. To supplement the fam- York would regularly attend- God’s.” - Mark 12:17. the recently promoted Corpo- Aclaimed conscientious ily’s income, York work in rail- ed church and often led the • “... if my kingdom were ral York, and 13 privates were objector status on the grounds road construction and then as a hymn singing, despite his histo- of this world, then would ordered to infiltrate behind the that his denomination forbade logger. ry of drinking and fighting. my servants fight...” - John German lines and silence the violence. Yet Alvin York would Although he was devoted to It was a revival meeting at 18:36. machine guns. go on to win the Medal of Hon- the welfare of his family, York the end of 1914 that changed It caused York to reconsider The Germans were preparing our and become one of the most was also a violent alcoholic. his life. On 1 January 1915 he the morality of his participation for a counter-attack when their decorated United States Army He would often be involved in underwent a conversion experi- in the war. headquarters were overrun by soldiers of World War I. bar room brawls and had been ence and he became a devoted He was given 10 days leave Early’s group and taken pris- Alvin Cullum York was born arrested on a number of occa- born-again Christian. the draft, he answered the ques- to visit home, and it was a very oner. on 13 December 1887 in Pall sions. His congregation was the tion “Do you claim exemption different Alvin York that re- While they were dealing with Mall, Tennesee. He was the His mother was a member of Church of Christ in Christian from draft (specify grounds)?” turned. He was now convinced the prisoners the area was hit third oldest of 11 children. a pacifist Protestant denomina- Union, a Protestant denomina- by writing “Yes. Don’t Want To that God meant for him to fight by machine gun fire, killing six The York family was dirt tion and she was forever trying tion that shunned secular poli- Fight.” and would keep him safe. He Americans and wounding three poor. The family farmed and tics. His request for conscientious was no as committed to his new others. The fire came from Ger- harvested their own food, while Although the church had no objector status was denied and mission as he had been to paci- man machine guns on the ridge. the mother made all of the fam- specific doctrine of pacifism, he appealed. fism. With the loss of the nine men, ily’s clothing. York was a firm believer in In World War I those with His Division was sent to York found himself in charge Each of the boys, including the fifth commandment, “Thou conscientious objector status France and in October 1918 of the remaining seven US sol- Alvin, attended school for only shalt not kill”. were no exempt from military took part in the St. Mihiel Of- diers. nine months. They received With the outbreak of World duties. They could still be draft- fensive. York told his men to remain no further education because War I, he was worried that at ed and were given assignments During an attack by his battal- under cover and guard the pris- William York, the father of the some stage America may be- that did not conflict with their ion to capture German positions oners. He then worked his way family, needed his sons to help come involved. “I was worried anti-war principles. near Hill 223 along the Decau- into position to silence the Ger- him work the family farm and clean through. I didn’t want to In November 1917, while ville rail-line north of Chatel- man machine guns. He recalled: hunt and fish in order to feed go and kill. I believed in my his application was considered, Chéhéry, France, on October And those machine guns were the family. Bible,” he said. York was drafted and began his 8, 1918, York’s actions earned spitting fire and cutting down When William York died in In June 1917 all American army service at Camp Gordon him the Medal of Honour. the undergrowth all around me November 1911 at the age of 49, men between the ages of 21 and in Georgia. He recalled: something awful. And the Ger- it was left to Alvin to help his 31 years of age were required He served in Company G, The Germans got us, and they mans were yelling orders. You mother raise his young- to register for the 328th Infantry Regiment, 82nd got us right smart. They just never heard such a racket in all er siblings. draft. York was Infantry Division. York was stopped us dead in our tracks. of your life. I didn’t have time to His two el- 29 years old deeply troubled by the conflict Their machine guns were up dodge behind a tree or dive into der broth- at the time. between his pacifism and his there on the heights overlook- the brush... As soon as the ma- ers, Hen- When training for war. ing us and well hidden, and we chine guns opened fire on me, ry and he regis- He spoke at length with his couldn’t tell for certain where I began to exchange shots with Joseph, tered for company commander, Cap- the terrible heavy fire was com- them. There were over thirty tain Edward Courtney Bull- ing from ... And I’m telling you of them in continuous action, ock Danforth, and his battalion they were shooting straight. and all I could do was touch commander, Major G. Edward Our boys just went down like the Germans off just as fast Buxton. the long grass before the mow- as I could. I was sharp shoot- 38 39 ing... All the time I kept yelling or captured 35 machine guns, al of Honor, York told General at them to come down. I didn’t killed at least 25 enemy sol- Lindsey “A higher power than Quiz want to kill any more than I had diers, and taken 132 prisoners. man guided and watched over to. But it was they or I. And I York was promptly promoted me and told me what to do.” was giving them the best I had. to Sergeant and received the Lindsey replied “York, you are Nicknames It must be remembered that Distinguished Service Cross. right.” he military loves nicknames and slang. Here are a few questions about nicknames. See if you York had spent much of his A few months later, an investi- When America entered World know the answers. youth hunting, so he was an ex- gation by York’s chain of com- War II, York attempted to re- T Answers on page 67. cellent shot. mand resulted in an upgrade of enlist in the army. However at During the assault, six Ger- his Distinguished Service Cross fifty-four years of age, - over man soldiers in a nearby trench to the Medal of Honour, which weight, near-diabetic, and with 1. What nickname was given 15. What was the nickname giv- rushed at York with fixed bay- was presented by the command- evidence of arthritis, he was de- to the M3 Stuart tank? en to members of the South 1 onets. He had already fired all ing general of the American nied enlistment as a combat sol- 2. Which World War II German African Corps of Signals? the round in his M1917 Enfield Expeditionary Forces, General dier. Instead, he was commis- fighter ace had the nickname 16. What nickname did the Rus- rifle. He drew his M1911 semi- John J. Pershing. sioned as a major in the Army ‘Dolfo”? sians give to Finish sniper automatic pistol and shot all six The French Republic award- Signal Corps and he toured 3. By what nickname was US Simo Häyhä? soldiers before they could reach ed him the Croix de Guerre, training camps and participated Civil War General Thomas 17. What did the Allies call the him. the Medaille Militaire and the in bond drives in support of the J. Jackson better known? German Stielhandgranate. While York was contending Legion of Honour. When deco- war effort, usually paying his 4. Which World War II Ameri- 18. What was a ‘Chicago Type- with the German machine guns, rating York with the Croix de own travel expenses. can tank was known as the writer’? German First Lieutenant Paul Guerre, Marshal Ferdinand Although York served during ‘Ronson’ by the British and 19. What was the nickname Jürgen Vollmer, commander of Foch told York “What you did the war with the rank of major the ‘Tommycooker’ by the given to the Royal Air Force the First Battalion, 120th Land- was the greatest thing accom- in the Army Signal Corps and Germans? 617 Squadron? wehr Infantry, emptied his pis- plished by any soldier of all the as a Colonel with the 7th Regi- 5. Who earned the nickname 20. What nickname was given tol trying to kill York. armies of Europe.” ment of the Tennessee State ‘Butcher of the Somme’? to the South African Vali- After failing to hit York with In addition to his French Guard, newspapers continued 6. Which German weapon did kri 127 mm multiple rocket even a single shot and seeing medals, Italy awarded York to refer to him as “Sgt. York.” 7 American GI’s nickname launcher? his losses mounting, Vollmer the Croce al Merito di Guerra York died at the Veterans ‘Screaming Mimi’? 21. To Allies he was known as called out in English, offering to and Montenegro decorated him Hospital in Nashville, Tennes- 7. What aircraft was better the ‘Red Baron’. But what surrender his unit to York. The with its War Medal. He eventu- see, on 2 September 1964, of known as the ‘Stuka’? nickname did the Germans offer was accepted by York. ally received nearly 50 decora- a cerebral hemorrhage. After 8. Who was known as ‘Blood- give Manfred von Rich- By the end of the engage- tions. a funeral service in his James- n-Guts’? thofen? ment York and his seven men York’s Medal of Honour ci- town church, with Gen. Mat- 9. Which American unit is 22. By what name were the Brit- marched 132 German prisoners tation reads: After his platoon thew Ridgway representing nickname ‘Screaming Ea- ish Home Guard known dur- back to the American lines. suffered heavy casualties and President Lyndon Johnson, gles’? ing World War II? When York reported back, his 3 other noncommissioned of- York was buried at the Wolf 10. What as the nickname given 23. What was the nickname giv- brigade commander, Brigadier ficers had become casualties, River Cemetery in Pall Mall. to the leading fighter ace of en to the British Parachute General Julian Robert Lindsey, Cpl. York assumed command. He left behind his wife Grace World War II, Erich Hart- Regiment? remarked, “Well York, I hear Fearlessly leading seven men, and eight children, six sons and mann? 24. Who or what was a ‘Noddy you have captured the whole he charged with great daring two daughters 11. What was the BM-13 Katy- Car’? damn German army.” a machine gun nest which was Seven public buildings have 23 usha better known as? 25. What derogatory nickname “No sir. I got only 132,” was pouring deadly and incessant been named for Alvin York, in- 12. What was the nickname giv- did German General Erich York’s reply. fire upon his platoon. In this he- cluding the Alvin C. York Vet- en to the America M3 sub- von Manstein give to Adolf His actions silenced the Ger- roic feat the machine gun nest erans Hospital located in Mur- machine gun? Hitler? man machine guns and were was taken, together with 4 of- freesboro, Tennessee. 13. Which former British officer responsible for enabling the ficers and 128 men and several and mercenary leader was 328th Infantry to renew its at- guns. nicknamed ‘Mad Mike’? tack to capture the Decauville In attempting to explain his 14. Which South African fighter Railroad. actions during the 1919 investi- ace was nicknamed ‘Sailor’? York’s actions had silenced gation that resulted in the Med- 40 41 single-shot breech-loading ri- Forged in Battle fles. As hunters they had learned to fire from cover, from a prone Boer Commandos position and to make the first The Boer Commandos, or Kommandos, were fiercely independent farmers who had shot count, knowing that if they spent most of their working lives in the saddle, they were skilled hunters and expert missed, in the time it took to re- load, the game would be long marksmen. Something that the British were to learn the hard way. gone. At community gatherings, they often held target shooting n 1658, war broke out be- eastward, traveling by wag- literally Little Free State competitions using targets such tween the Dutch settlers at on into the interior of what is • State of Goshen (1882– as hens’ eggs perched on posts Ithe Cape Colony and the today modern South Africa. 1883) over 90 metres away. Khoi-khoi. All able bodied men They sought to live beyond • Republic of Stellaland The Boer commandos made were conscripted into military the Cape’s British colonial ad- (1882–1883) for expert light cavalry, able to service in order to protect the ministration. They became • United States of Stellaland use every scrap of cover from settlement. known as voortrekkers (literal- (1883–1885) READY TO FIGHT: Members of a Boer commando pose for a which they could pour accurate By 1700 the colony had ly “fore-pullers”) and their mi- • New Republic (1884–1888) photograph. and destructive fire at their en- grown and was now divided up gration became known as ‘The • Republic of Upingtonia/Li- emies. into districts. While there was Great Trek’. jdensrust (1885–1887) ing his ward, collecting taxes, CR de Wet. The disadvantage Before the Boer War, the a small military garrison sta- This led directly to the found- The most well known and issuing firearms and other ma- was that sometimes inept com- Transvaal Republic and the tioned at the Castle de Goede ing of several autonomous Boer strongest of the Boer republics terials in times of war. manders were put in charge. Orange Free State had perma- Hoop (Castle of Good Hope), it republics. Between 1795 and was the Transvaal Republic and In theory, a ward was divided Discipline was often a prob- nent artillery units, such as the could not react swiftly to inci- 1915 there were no fewer than the Orange Free state. up into corporalships. This was lem because there was no way Transvaalse Staatsartillerie. dents in the border districts. 18 Boer republics. During the Great Trek the usually made up of about 20 of enforcing it. They were equipped with the The process of conscripting • Republic of Swellendam commando system was used burghers. It was not uncommon German Krupp or French Creu- able bodied men, known as the (1795) and remained in use in most of to find an entire family - fathers, Equipment & Tactics sot artillery. commando system, was ex- • Republic of Graaff-Reinet the Boer republics. sons, uncles and cousins - make The commandos were a civil- panded and formalised. Each (1795–1796) Republics issued commando up an entire corporalship. ian militia and, as such, did not Boer Wars district had a kommandant • Zoutpansberg (1835–1864) laws, making commando ser- The veldkornet reported to have a standard uniform. Each The First Boer War, known (commandant) who was respon- • Winburg (1836–1844) vice mandatory in times of need the kommandant, who in turn man wore pretty much what he in Afrikaans as Eerste Vryheid- sible for calling up all burghers • Potchefstroom (1837–1844) for all male citizens between reported to a general. In theo- wished. soorlog (First Freedom War), (citizens) when required. • Natalia Republic (1839– the ages of 16 and 60. ry a general was responsible for Most of them would wear was fought from 16 Decem- With the First British Occu- 1843) four commandos. He would re- everyday farming clothes that ber 1880 until 23 March 1881 pation in 1795 and the Second • Winburg-Potchefstroom Commando structure port to the commander-in-chief were dark-grey, earthtone kha- between the United Kingdom British Occupation in 1806, the (1844–1848) Each commando was attached of the republic. ki, or of a neutral colour. This and the South African Republic commandos were called up to • Republic of Klip River to a town, and named after the In the Transvaal the C-in-C would usually consist of a jack- (also known as Transvaal Re- defend the Cape Colony. (1847– 1848) town. For example, the Bloem- was called the Comman- et, trousers and a slouch hat. public). At the Battle of Blaauwberg • Lydenburg Republic (1849– fontein Commando. dant-General and in the Free Each man brought his own The war resulted in defeat for on 6 January 1806, the Swel- 1860) Each town was responsible State he wsa the Hoofdkomman- weapon, usually a hunting rifle, the British and the second inde- lendam Commando held the • Utrecht Republic (1852– for a district, divided up into a dant (Chief Commandant). The and his own horses. pendence of the South African British at bay long enough for 1858) number of wards. A komman- C-in-C would report directly to Most of the Boers that made Republic. the rest of the Batavian Army to • South African Republic dant was in command of each the president of the republic. up the commandos were farm- The British infantry uniforms retreat to safety. (1852–1877, 1881–1902, commando, a each ward had a The commando was made up ers who had spent most of their at that date were red jackets, 1914–1915) often informal- veldkornet (field cornet - equiv- of volunteers. It was the mem- working lives in the saddle. dark blue trousers with red The Boer Republics ly known as the Transvaal alent in rank to a senior NCO). bers of a commando, and not They had to depend on both piping on the side, white pith From 1836 onwards, many Republic The veldkornet had a number the government, that appointed their horses and their rifles for helmets and pipe clayed equip- Dutch-speaking settlers had • Orange Free State (1854– of duties. He was responsible the officers. This led to the ap- almost all of their meat. They ment, a stark contrast to the Af- become weary of living under 1902) for calling up the burghers, but pearance of men such as Gener- were skilled hunters and expert rican landscape. The Highland- British rule. They began an • Klein Vrystaat (1876–1891), was also responsible for polic- al Koos de la Rey and General marksmen. Most of them had ers wore the kilt. 42 43 The standard infantry weap- dead were victims of disease). they held off the mighty British were 46,370 civilian casualties, on was the Martini-Henry sin- The war ended in surrender and Empire for nearly three years. of whom 26,370 were Boer gle-shot breech-loading rifle British terms with the Treaty of There were 25,000 Transvaal women and children who died with a long sword bayonet. Vereeniging in May 1902. The Boers, 15,000 Free State Boers, in concentration camps. More Gunners of the Royal Artil- British successfully won over 10,000 Black Boer auxiliaries than 20,000 Black Africans also lery wore blue jackets. The Boer the Boer leaders, who now gave and 5,400 foreign volunteers. died in concentration camps. marksmen could easily snipe at full support to the new political The British had 347,000 reg- British casualties were even British troops from a distance. system. Both former republics ular troops, between 103,000 higher. 22,092 were killed and The Boers carried no bayonets, were incorporated into the Un- and 153,000 colonial forces, 75,430 returned home sick or leaving them at a substantial ion of South Africa in 1910, as and 100,000 Black South Afri- wounded. 934 were report- disadvantage in close combat, part of the British Empire. can auxiliaries. ed missing and 22,828 were which they avoided as often as REDCOATS: In their distinctive red jackets and white helmets, The Boer commandos were a The Boers suffered 6,186 wounded. possible. the British made easy targets for the Boers. force forged in battle. Despite dead and 24,000 Boer prison- Drawing on years of experi- their relatively small numbers, ers were sent overseas. There ence of fighting frontier skir- ring the huge costs required to of the Orange Free State and mishes with numerous and in- win that war. Transvaal, as the civilian lead- digenous African tribes, they However, the sharp lessons ership went into hiding or exile. relied more on mobility, stealth, the British had learned during In conventional terms, the war Kimberley here we come marksmanship and initiative the First Boer War - which in- was over. Details of Military Despatches planned trip to Kimberley in June. while the British emphasised cluded Boer marksmanship, the traditional military values tactical flexibility and good use To the bitter end kay, here it is! The de- cellent private museum there. son. This will include train fare, of command, discipline, forma- of ground - had largely been The Boers, however, refused tails of our planned trip We will also visit the Star accommodation, transport in tion and synchronised firepow- forgotten when the second war to surrender. They reverted to to Kimberley in June. of the East Pub and Halfway Kimberley, entrance to the Big er. broke out 18 years later. Heavy guerrilla warfare under new O We will be leaving on the House, both historic, for a drink Hole, and the braai on Saturday The average British soldier casualties, as well as many set- generals Louis Botha, Jan Transkaroo train on Thursday or two. night. was not trained to be a marks- backs, were incurred before the Smuts, Christiaan de Wet and 7 June at 10h00. The scheduled On the Saturday night we will We can only take 12 people man and got little target prac- British were ultimately victori- Koos de la Rey. Two more years arrival time in Kimberley is at be having a braai at Gumtree and it will be on a first-come- tice. What shooting training ous. of surprise attacks and quick 03h32 on Friday 8 June. Lodge. first served basis. We already British soldiers had was main- When the war began the Brit- escapes followed. As guerril- The good news is that the We will board the train back have a few bookings, so let us ly as a unit firing in volleys on ish were overconfident. They las without uniforms, the Boer train is always late. So we can to Cape Town on Sunday 10 know early if you want to make command. soon paid for this when the Bo- fighters easily blended into the plan on getting there between June at 20h54 and should arrive the trip. The First Boer War was the ers struck first, besieging La- farmlands, which provided hid- 06h00 and 07h00. back in Cape Town at 15h30 on If you are interested then send first conflict since the American dysmith, Kimberley, and Mafe- ing places, supplies, and horses. We will be staying at Gum- Monday 11 June. me an e-mail at editor@hipe. War of Independence in which king in early 1900, and winning The UK’s solution was to set tree Lodge in Kimberley. There The cost for the entire trip co.za as soon as possible. the British had been decisively important battles at Colenso, up complex nets of block hous- will be four to a room. There is will work out at R2,200 per per- defeated and forced to sign a Magersfontein and Stormberg. es, strong points, and barbed a fridge and kettle provided, so peace treaty under unfavoura- The British brought in a large wire fences, partitioning off you will get woken with a cup ble terms. It would see the in- number of reinforcements and the entire conquered territo- of coffee every morning. troduction of the khaki uniform, General Redvers Buller was ry. The civilian farmers were We will also have breakfast at marking the beginning of the replaced by Lord Roberts and relocated into concentration Gumtree Lodge before leaving end of the famous Redcoat. The Lord Kitchener. They relieved camps, where very large pro- on each days planned activities. Battle of Laing’s Nek would be the three besieged cities, and portions died of disease, espe- Some of the excursions we are the last occasion where a Brit- invaded the two Boer republics cially the children, who mostly planning will include a trip to ish regiment carried its official in late 1900. lacked immunities. Then Brit- the site of the Battle of Magers- regimental colours into battle. The onward marches of the ish mounted infantry units sys- fontein, a visit to the Big Hole, In 1899, when tensions erupt- British Army were so over- tematically tracked down the and a visit to the McGregor ed into the Second Boer War, whelming that the Boers did not highly mobile Boer guerrilla Museum. We are also planning the lure of gold made it worth fight staged battles in defence units. The battles at this stage to get together with the Moths committing the vast resources of their homeland. The British were small operations with few from Kimberley at the SA Le- of the British Empire and incur- quickly seized control of all combat casualties (most of the gion Pub. There is also an ex- 44 45 Yet they also realised that ar- Battlefield tillery and sniping alone would not be enough to dislodge the British. Battle of Spion Kop If the British immediately es- During the Second Boer War campaign to relieve Ladysmith, the British managed to tablished positions on Conical snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Hill and Aloe Knoll (the two unoccupied kopjes on the kop itself) they could bring their ar- tillery to bear on Tabanyama, hen the Second Boer line, which was his main supply By the time they arrived at threatening the key Boer posi- War began on 11 Oc- line. the Tugela, the Boers had en- tions there. Wtober 1899, the Brit- His army was to launch a two- trenched a new position cover- There was a risk that the Brit- ish were confident that it would pronged offensive designed to ing it. ish would storm Twin Peaks to all be over very quickly. cross the Tugela River at two On the 18th British mounted the eastern end of Spion Kop. The Boers, however, had oth- points and create a bridge- troops under the Earl of Dun- A group of Boers pose for a photograph. Spion If Twin Peaks fell, the British er ideas and it was they who head. They would then attack donald enterprisingly reached BATTLEFIELD: Kop is in the background. would be able to turn the Boers’ struck first. the defensive line that blocked the extreme Boer right flank, left flank and annihilate the By early 1900 Ladysmith, Buller’s advance to Ladysmith, from where there was little to On 23 January Warren sent made a horrifying discovery. main Boer encampment. Kimberley, and Mafeking were which was only 32 kilometres stop them riding to Ladysmith, the larger part of his force under They had no direct knowledge It became apparent to the besieged and the Boers had won away. but Warren recalled them to Major General Edward Wood- of the topography of the sum- Boer generals that they would important battles at Colenso, Buller delegated control of guard the force’s baggage. gate to secure Spion Kop. Lieu- mit and the darkness and mist have to storm Spion Kop, and Magersfontein and Stormberg. his main force to General Sir Once all his force had crossed tenant Colonel Alexander Thor- had compounded their mistake. quickly, if certain defeat was to The commander of the Brit- Charles Warren, to cross at the river, Warren sent part of an neycroft was selected to lead They had captured the smaller be averted. ish forces in Natal, General Sir Trichardt’s Drift. Buller would infantry division under Lieu- the initial assault. With Thor- and lower part of the hilltop of They began to bombard the Redvers Buller VC, was at- then send a second smaller tenant General Francis Clery neycroft were Herbert Plumer Spion Kop. The Boers occupied British position from the ad- tempting to relieve Ladysmith. force, under Major General against the Boer right flank and Robert Baden-Powell (later higher ground on three sides of jacent plateau of Tabanyama, Facing him across the Tuge- Neville Lyttelton to attack east positions on a plateau named to found the Boy Scouts move- the British position. dropping shells at a rate of ten la River were the Boers under of Warren’s force as a diversion Tabanyama. ment). The summit of the kop was a minute. General Louis Botha. at Potgieter’s Drift. Once across The Boers had once again en- Under the cover of night and mostly hard rock and the Brit- At the same time Comman- Although the Boers were out- the Tugela the British would trenched a new position on the a thick mist, the British climbed ish trenches were at most 40 dant Hendrik Prinsloo of the numbered, they were equipped attack the Boer defensive po- reverse slopes of the plateau, the hill. The small Boer guard centimetres deep. They did not Carolina Commando captured mostly with modern Mauser sitions and then cross the open and Clery’s attack made no pro- were surprised and driven from provide much protection. Aloe Knoll and Conical Hill rifles and up to date field guns. plains to relieve Ladysmith. gress. Meanwhile, the second- the kop at bayonet point. The British infantry in the with 88 men. Another 300 They had also carefully en- Warren had a large force ary British attack by Lyttelton The surviving Boers retreat- trenches could not see over the men, mainly from the Pretoria trenched their positions. that numbered 11,000 infantry, at Potgieter’s Drift had yet to ed down the hill to their camp, crest of the plateau and the Bo- Commando, climbed the kop to In late December 1899 Bull- 2,200 cavalry and 36 field guns. commence in full. waking up their fellow Boers ers were able to fire down the launch a frontal assault on the er made a frontal assault on the On 11 January they marched by screaming, “Die Engelse is length of the crescent-shaped British positions. Boer positions at the Battle of westward to cross the Little Battle commences op die kop” (The English are on trench from the adjacent peaks. Prinsloo told his men: “Bur- Colenso. It turned into a humil- Tugela and take up position in The largest hill in the area, the hill). ghers, we’re now going in to iating defeat for the British. front of Potgieter’s Ferry. Spion Kop, lay just northeast of A half company of British The Boers react attack the enemy and we shan’t Their march, however, was Warren’s force. It was just over sappers began to entrench the The fact that the British had all be coming back. Do your Buller makes his plans easily visible to the Boers, and 430 metres high and lay almost position. The problem was that taken the kop did not worry the duty and trust in the Lord.” Over the next few weeks it was very slow. This was in exactly at the centre of the Boer they had only 20 picks and 20 Boer generals that much. They Minutes later they launched Buller drew up his plans to re- part due to the massive baggage line. shovels with them. So while knew that their artillery on their attack. It was very unusual lieve Ladysmith. His forces trains that British officer felt If the British could take the they dug, almost 1,000 soldiers Tabanyama could be turned on for the Boers to launch a day- were bolstered by the arrival necessary to accompany them. hill and bring artillery to the stood and watched. Woodgate the British positions and that ri- time massed attack as it was not of reinforcements as well as Warren’s included a cast iron top, they would command the notified Warren of the success- fle fire from the parts of the kop their style of warfare. It took the sufficient carts and transport to bathroom and well equipped flanks of the surrounding Boer ful capture of the hilltop. not yet occupied by the British British by surprise and vicious, operate away from the railway kitchen. positions. As the sun rose the British could be brought to bear. close-quarter combat ensued. 46 47 Both sides exchanged fire cashire Fusiliers took com- a word. Finally, a second run- replied, “better six good battal- at close range and engaged in mand but was wounded soon ner brought the news, “You are ions safely down the hill than hand-to-hand combat, with the after Woodgate’s death, while a general.” a bloody mop-up in the morn- British wielding fixed bayonets the sappers’ officer, Major At about 13h00 some men ing.” He ordered the brigade to and the Boers wielding hunting HH.Massy, and Woodgate’s of the Lancashire Fusiliers at- retreat. knifes and their own rifles used brigade major, Captain NH. tempted to surrender. Thorney- At the same time, Buller sent as bludgeons. Vertue, were killed. croft was not having that and he Lyttelton strict orders to recall After suffering serious loss- The British were leaderless, personally intervened. his troops from Twin Peaks. es, the Boer assault carried the confused and pinned down by “I’m the commandant here; When morning came, the crest line after several min- heavy Boer artillery and rifle take your men back to hell sir. I Boer generals were astonished utes of brutal fighting, but they fire. Officers and men from dif- allow no surrenders,” he shout- to see two burghers on the top could advance no further. ferent units were intermingled. ed at the Boers who advanced of Spion Kop, waving their The British artillery were un- to round up prisoners. slouch-hats in triumph. The Stalemate able to hit back at the Boer guns It was fortunate for Thor- only British on the kop were the A stalemate now settled over as they were positioned lower neycroft that the first British dead and the dying. the kop. The Boers had failed to down the slopes of Spion Kop. reinforcements arrived at that The British suffered 243 fa- drive the British off the kop, but One British soldier wrote in his moment. A vicious point-blank talities during the battle; many the surviving men of the Pre- diary “our gunners, by the inac- firefight ensued but the British THE FALLEN: Cut down by accurate Boer fire, many of the were buried in the trenches toria and Carolina commando curacy of their fire did far more line had been saved. British were buried in the trench were they had been killed. where they fell. Approximate- now held a firing line on Aloe damage to our front line of in- At 14h30, Thorneycroft sent ly 1,250 British were either Knoll from where they could fantry than to the Boers!” Warren a plea for reinforce- two battalions toward Spion Warren, he ordered an unau- wounded or captured. Mohan- enfilade the British position Colonel Malby Crofton of the ments and water. Meanwhile, Kop. One battalion, the King’s thorised withdrawal from Spion das Gandhi was a stretcher- and the British were now under Royal Lancasters took charge Coke never reached the sum- Royal Rifle Corps turned aside Kop after reporting that the sol- bearer at the battle, in the In- sustained bombardment from and semaphored a plea for help, mit. He saw Thorneycroft’s to attack Twin Peaks. diers had no water and ammu- dian Ambulance Corps he had the Boer artillery. The British “Reinforce at once or all is message for help but then did After losing Lieutenant Colo- nition was running short. organised, and was decorated. had failed to exploit their initial lost. General dead.” After that nothing to assure the lieutenant nel Riddell killed and 100 other His reasons for withdrawing The Boers suffered 335 casu- success, and the initiative now the stunned colonel failed to colonel of his nearby presence casualties, the rifles cracked the were that without artillery sup- alties of which 68 were dead, passed to the Boers. exercise any leadership. Thor- or support. thin Boer line and carried the port to counter the heavy Boer including Commandant Prin- The extreme heat, exhaustion neycroft seems to have taken The Middlesex Regiment double summit at 17h00. artillery fire, there was no pos- sloo’s commando casualties of and thirst began to take hold, charge, leading a spirited coun- and the Imperial Light Infantry, sibility of defending the posi- 55 killed and wounded out of sapping morale on both sides. terattack that was cut down by under Colonel Hill, who was The aftermath tion and the extreme difficulty 88 men. On one hand the Boers on the withering fire. senior to Thorneycroft in the Devastated by the loss of Twin of digging trenches on the sum- The British retreated back kop could see large numbers of Warren had already dis- army list and who also believed Peaks, General Schalk Willem mit of Spion Kop left the British over the Tugela, but the Boers burghers on the plains below patched Major General John he was overall commander on Burger took his commando out soldiers completely exposed. were too exhausted to pursue them who refused to join the Talbot Coke’s brigade of two the kop, held the British right of the battle line that night. On Winston Churchill was a jour- and follow up their success. fight. The sense of betrayal, the regular battalions and the Im- for two and a half hours until Spion Kop, the Boers who had nalist stationed in South Africa Once across the river, Buller bloody failure of the frontal as- perial Light Infantry to rein- a second crisis occurred when fought bravely since morning and he had also been commis- managed to rally his troops. La- sault, the indiscipline inherent force the summit. However, they too began to give way. The abandoned their positions as sioned as a lieutenant in the dysmith would be relieved by in a civilian army and the appar- he refused to launch an attack Cameronians (Scottish Rifles) darkness fell. They were about South African Light Horse by the British four weeks later. ent security of the British posi- on Tabanyama and barred his arrived at this point, and drove to retreat, when Botha appeared General Buller after his well- tion proved too much for some guns from firing on Aloe Knoll, the Boers back with a bayo- and persuaded them to stay. publicised escape from Boer Legacy of Spion Kop Boers, who began to abandon believing this to be part of the net charge. The fighting on the The Boers, however, did not captivity. Churchill acted as a Many football grounds in Eng- their hard-won positions. British position. British right now became a reclaim their positions, and un- courier to and from Spion Kop land have one terrace or stand Things were not going well At 11h40 Buller could see stalemate. known to Thorneycroft, the bat- and Buller’s headquarters. in their stadium named “Kop” for the British either. The bom- that things were not going In the morning, Warren had tle was as good as won. Churchill brought the first or- or “Spion Kop” because of the bardment began taking its toll. well. He suggested to Warren asked for reinforcements from But Thorneycroft’s nerve was ders from Warren since he ele- steep nature of the terracing. Woodgate fell at about 08h30, that Thorneycroft be appointed Lyttelton’s division, even also shattered. After sixteen vated Thorneycroft to brigadier. The South African Navy mortally wounded by a shell commander on the kop. The though he had eleven battalions hours on the kop doing the job Churchill told him that 1,400 Valour-class frigate SAS Spio- splinter. In quick succession, first runner to Thorneycroft was of his own to draw upon. With- of a brigadier general in total men were on the way with two enkop (F147) is named after the Colonel Blomfield of the Lan- shot dead before he could utter out asking Buller, Lyttelton sent absence of instructions from large naval guns. Thorneycroft battle. 48 49 Gaming During war, there are no good or bad decisions; there is only survival. Matt O’ Brien tries to keep a group survivors alive in his own inept way.

n This War Of Mine you do Make life-and-death deci- There are four key ingredi- not play as an elite soldier, sions driven by your conscience. ents to survival - shelter, water, Irather a group of civilians Try to protect everybody from food and security. trying to survive in a besieged your shelter or sacrifice some of When it comes to food and city; struggling with lack of them for longer-term survival. water, you can either craft items food, medicine and constant During war, there are no good or scavenge for them. danger from snipers and hostile or bad decisions; there is only For instance you can craft a scavengers. The game provides survival. The sooner you real- ‘rainwater collector’ if you have an experience of war seen from ize that, the better. the right material and tools for an entirely new angle. The pace of This War of Mine the job. The game, inspired by the is imposed by the day and night This collector is essential for are scavengers and can be very also allow you to get by with than raw food and can (presum- 1992–95 Siege of Sarajevo dur- cycle. During the day snipers self-sufficiency when it comes hostile. They will often attack fewer guards, as its alarm will ably) reduce risk of getting sick ing the Bosnian War, differs outside stop you from leaving to clean water, which is mainly you on sight or will raid your awaken any sleeping survivors. that would normally result from from anything I’ve ever played your refuge, so you need to fo- used for cooking, and also for shelter. This not only means There are certain ‘must have’ eating raw food. Unlike ingre- before. And I like it. cus on maintaining your hide- the making of moonshine and that you stand to lose valuable items in the game, and others dients, Cooked Meals cannot be This War of Mine is a surviv- out: crafting, trading and taking for growing vegetables. When resources, they could even kill which are very helpful. stolen in raids. al-themed strategy game where care of your survivors. At night, lots of water is needed, having some of you survivors. Beds, for example, are vital This is a really good game the player controls a group of take one of your civilians on a more than one collector can be And let’s not for one minute for survival; they allow survi- and well worth the price. civilian survivors in a make- mission to scavenge through a useful. forget about the military. They vors to rest during the day to shift shelter in the besieged, set of unique locations for items You will need tools for build- patrol both day and night. If recover from being Tired. Dur- war-torn fictional city of Pogor- that will help you stay alive. ing, scavenging, or even for de- they spot you looting they will ing daytime, a single bed can en, Graznavia. You start off with one to four fending yourself. normally shoot on sight. If they remove Tired status from two The main goal of the game survivors whose actions you A crowbar, for example, is spot you wandering around at characters. Sleeping in bed at is to survive the war with the can affect. The actions you useful when scavenging to open night they will attempt to cap- night allow survivors to recov- tools and materials the player make will change the type of locked doors and containers. An ture you. er from wounds and illnesses, can gather with the characters endings each survivor has. Each axe is vital for chopping wood. You can build certain work- though the chance of recovery you control. character has one or two traits Of course wood is essential for shops such as the Metal Work- is remarkably low. When the Most of the characters under that helps/hinders you, besides building certain items, cooking, shop which allows your charac- amount of characters gets high- the player’s control have no hidden, varying stats that affect and warmth for you shelter. ters to craft tools and weapons, er, more beds will have to be military background or any kind combat, movement speed, and Remember that you are not like the crowbar and the knife. built. of survival experience, and will so on. Some traits are useful the only survivors. There are Certain items can be upgrad- A radio allows you to pre- require constant intervention by during certain days while oth- others out there that will also do ed, including your workshops. pare for crisis and inflation: the player in order to stay alive. ers are useful all the time. For all that it takes to survive. Some You can then block all three cold weather, military fighting, It is the player’s responsibili- example, one character named of them will not necessarily be holes in your shelter walls and armed raids, item scarcity, etc. ty to maintain their characters’ Bruno has a trait called “Good hostile and will in fact try and reinforce the door. This will in- It will even inform you when Publisher - 11 Bit Studios health, hunger and mood levels Cook”, which helps you use trade with you. This is often a crease the chance of your survi- ceasefires (i.e. the end of the until the declaration of a cease- less fuel and water when cook- good way to lay your hand on vors repelling raids, and reduce game) are imminent. Genre - Survival fire, which occurs after a rand- ing meals. There are a total of needed resources. the chance that they will be- The Stove is also an important Score - 8/10 omized duration. 12 playable characters. Other survivors, however, come wounded while defend- addition to your shelter. Cooked Price - R139 (on Steam) ing. The reinforced door will Meals are much more filling 50 51 Movie Review Book Review Blackadder Goes Forth Operation Askari 1983/84 et me confess a little se- Fry) and his bureaucratic as- event: “Both sides advanced War Journal cret - I’m not a big fan sistant, Captain Kevin Darling further during one Christmas aving previously read than yards from one another, this. For a first-hand account of of Mr. Bean. But I love (Tim McInnerny). piss-up than they did in the next and reviewed the au- can recall the same event, espe- what it was like to serve in that L thor’s book, Spine of cially in the heat of battle. This is series of battles, it is first class. some of Rowan Atkinson’s oth- Blackadder is sarcastic hu- two and a half years of war.” H er work. mour at its best. The dialogue is I found the final episode in the Delta, it is with some pleasure touched on in some detail by the What does come through loud I found the series The Thin marked throughout by satirical series, Goodbyeee, touching. that this reviewer has now had author and he cites examples of and clear in each person’s story Blue Line a delight. But my fa- musings about the nature of the The main characters (except the opportunity to read this latest even commanders not agreeing is the boredom experienced, vourite series has always been war, its origins and the effects General Melchett himself) are follow up account, in hindsight on just who did or interspersed with moments of Blackadder and the fourth and on the soldiers who suffered finally sent over the top. To the Operation Askari 1983/84 achieved what in the battles. confusion and sheer terror in the final series, Blackadder Goes over its course. The idea that sound of a slow, minimal and War Journal. This latest offer- However, throughout there face of stiff opposition by an An- Forth, is the best. the soldiers suffered whilst their downbeat piano version of the ing by Lt Col Dawid Lotter, who is credit for all, from lowest to golan army equally determined The series, consisting of six commanders remained safely title theme, the four are seen in was involved first-hand in some highest, with perhaps the con- to hold on to positions under at- episodes, is set in 1917 on the distant from the action was slow-motion, charging into the of the bloody fighting that en- tempt and distrust being re- tack. There are also accounts of Western Front. Captain Ed- also referenced on many occa- fog and smoke of no man’s land, compassed that wide-ranging of- served for seniors involved in great gallantry, unrewarded in mund Blackadder (Rowan At- sions, such as when Melchett with gunfire and explosions all fensive, takes in a much broader the planning but not execution many cases by higher honours, kinson) is a professional sol- says to Baldrick, “Don’t you around, before the scene fades sweep of operations all across of the operations. The troops’ like that of a young 202 Battal- dier who, until the outbreak of worry my boy, if you should into footage of a sunny poppy southern Angola by the South mistrust of their commanders is ion Lieutenant whose initial mis- the Great War, had a relatively falter, remember that Captain field and the sound of birdsong. African Defence Force on one evident in many of the first-hand take placed him and his men too danger-free existence fighting Darling and I are behind you!”, If you’ve never had the side and the Angolan FAPLA accounts, and given the confus- close to a FAPLA base in an ill- natives who were usually “two to which Blackadder responds, chance to watch Blackadder supported by Cubans and Rus- ing and contradictory orders re- prepared TB, but who stood his feet tall and armed with dried “About 35 miles behind you!”. Goes Forth, do so. It is a bril- sian advisers, as well as PLAN. ceived at times, it is easy for the ground and fought to the death grass”. Blackadder describes the liant series. It is not just a history book reader to see why many still hold with his platoon sergeant when Blackadder’s main concern is Great War as: “a war which Check online and you’re sure though, although the basic plan- this grudge today. The first four they were subsequently overrun to avoid going over the top to would be a damn sight simpler to find somewhere that you can ning and execution of the vari- chapters of the book set the scene by FAPLA in a night ambush. certain death and finding a way if we just stayed in England and get the DVD containing all six ous strikes are discussed by him for the operations at Cuvelai, Ca- As reviewer I feel it churlish to to get out of the trenches and be shot fifty thousand of our men episodes. to give the reader an overall idea hama, Mulondo, Techumatete quibble about a book I genuinely sent back home. a week.” of how these evolved and, in and Caiundo – the latter never enjoyed, but if I have one criti- His attempts fail most due to Field Marshal Sir Douglas more than a few cases, did not intended to be a target for attack cism it is that the author has been bad fortune, misunderstandings Haig, whose orders are alleged go according to plan and had to in the initial plan. Each is dealt somewhat let down by his proof and the general incompetence to have resulted in hundreds of be adapted in the field. Divided with on its own in a few chapters, readers, and the book could have of his comrades. thousands of British deaths at into 17 chapters, this is primar- rather than the entire operation been so much more polished than His comrades include his Passchendaele and the Som- ily the story of, and more im- chronologically, which pulls the it is, with many easily corrected second-in-command, idealis- me, is continually referenced. portantly by, the men who took reader into that same confused mistakes not being picked up in tic upper-class Edwardian twit Blackadder himself describes part in Operation Askari, in their process that prevailed for each that proof reading process. This Lieutenant The Honourable Haig’s attempts at an advance own words, the author giving ac- individual at the time, something criticism aside, Operation Askari George St Barleigh (Hugh Lau- as no more than “another gar- knowledgement to contributing one does not see too often in dry 1984/84 War Journal is another rie) and their profoundly stupid gantuan effort to move his individuals. and dusty academic accounts of excellent addition to the Border but dogged batman Private S. drinks cabinet six inches closer The experiences are thus co- a military operation in the cold War narrative, and especially Baldrick (Tony Robinson). to Berlin” loured by each individuals’ ex- light of hindsight. Personally I given its personal experience His main enemies are not the The series recalls a number of perience and it is both fascinat- found this refreshing, although it tone, is one I have no hesitation Germans, but rather his supe- famous historical events of the ing and insightful to see just how does lead me to add that the book in recommending highly. rior General Sir Anthony Cecil war, such as the Christmas truce differently any two soldiers, who cannot be viewed as a history Reviewed by Peter Chapman. Hogmanay Melchett (Stephen of 1914. Blackadder recalls the may well have been no more of Operation Askari because of Click here for price and details.

52 53 Baldrick: Why’s that, Sir? George: Yes, Sir? Baldrick drones on . . . On the lighter side Black Adder: Because there’s Black Adder: Shut up, and nev- Black Adder: Baldrick . . . an air-raid going on and I don’t er say anything again as long as want to have to write to your you live. Baldrick stops droning on as Private Plane mother at London Zoo and tell BA interjects a third time. her that her only human child is George: Right you are, Sir. Here is the full script from the Private Plane episode from Black Adder Goes Forth dead. Black Adder: Baldrick, what ere is the full script for Black Adder: Oh, God, why do we take a few pot-shots at them, Black Adder removes helmet. are you doing? Episode IV - Private they bother? they have to have an air-raid to Baldrick moves under the table George is quiet for a few sec- Plane of the television get their own back. Where are with Black Adder. onds. Baldrick: I’m a Sopwith Camel, H Sir. series, Black Adder Goes Forth. George: Well, it’s to kill Jerry, our airforce? isn’t it, Sir? Baldrick: All right, Sir. It’s just George: Crikey, but what a show Cast: Black Adder moves over to the that I didn’t know there was an it was, Sir. Lord Flasheart’s Black Adder: Oh, it is a Sopwith Captain Edmund Blackadder Black Adder: Yes, but Jerry is table. A field-telephone sits on air-raid on. I couldn’t hear an- Flying Aces. How we cheered Camel. Ah, right, I always get Rowan Atkinson safe underground in concrete the table ything over the noise of the ter- when they spun. How we confused between the sound of Private S. Baldrick bunkers. We’ve shot off over rific display by our wonderful shouted when they dived. How a Sopwith Camel and the sound Tony Robinson a million cannon shells and Black Adder: They’re meant to boys of the Royal Flying Corps, we applauded when one chap of a malodourous runt wasting General Sir Anthony Cecil what’s the result? One dachs- defend us against this sort of Sir. got sliced in half by his own everybody’s time. Now if you Hogmanay Melchett hund with a slight limp! thing. propeller. Well, it’s all part of can do without me in the nurs- Steven Fry Black Adder: What? the joke for those magnificent ery for a while, I’m going to get Lieutenant the Honourable BA yells at the artillery. Noise outside continues. Black men in their flying machines. some fresh air. George Colhurst St. Barleigh Adder puts on steel helmet, George enters the dugout. Hugh Laurie Black Adder: Shut up! picks up telephone and dives Sound of plane plummeting, Black Adder leaves the dugout, Captain Kevin Darling under the table. George: I say, those chaps can’t then crashing outside. picking up his pipe on the way Tim McInnerny Artillery ceases. George looks half thunder in their airborne out. Squadron Commander Lord bemused. Black Adder: Right, that’s it! steeds, can’t they just? Black Adder: For `magnificent Flashheart men’, read `biggest showoffs Scene 4: In The Trench Rik Mayall Black Adder: Thank you! Right, Picks up receiver. George notices Black Adder since Lady Godiva entered As he emerges from the dugout Baron von Richthoven I’m off to bed where I intend to and Baldrick cowering under the Royal Enclosure at Ascot Black Adder sighs and prepares Adrian Edmondson sleep until my name changes to Black Adder: Hello? Yes, the table. claiming she had literally noth- to light his pipe. Squadron Lieutenant von Gerhardt Rip Van Adder. yes, I’d like to leave a mes- ing to wear’. I don’t care how Commander Lord Flasheart Hugo E. Black sage for the head of the Flying George: Oh, hello, what’s go- many times they go up-diddly- jumps down from his crashed Driver Parkhurst Black Adder goes into his dug- Corps, please. That’s Air Chief ing on here? Game of hide and up-up, they’re still gits! plane. Gabrielle Glaister out. Marshall Sir Hugh Massing- seek? Excellent! Right now, burg-Massingburg, VC, DFC I’ll go and count to a hundred. Baldrick: Oh, come on, Sir! Flasheart: Ha! Eat knuckle, Scene 1: Black Adder’s Dug- Scene 3: Black Adder’s Dug- and bar. Message reads “Where Er, no. Better make it five, ac- I’d love to be a flier. Up there Fritz! out out are you, you bastard?” tually . . . where the air is clear. Black Adder is listening to his The phonograph is still playing. Flasheart knocks Black Adder phonograph. Artillery firing BA stops it and lies down on his Private Baldrick enters the Black Adder: George . . . Black Adder: The chances of to the ground with his pistol, outside is causing the record cot. An instant after his head dugout. the air being clear anywhere then puts a foot on Black Ad- to skip frequently. Annoyed, BA touches the pillow there is the George: Er. Oh, it’s sardines. near you, Baldrick, are zero! der’s chest. storms outside. sound of aircraft and gunfire Baldrick: Here I am, Sir. Oh, excellent! That’s my fa- from outside. BA rises from his vourite one, that. Baldrick: Oh, Sir. It’d be great, Flasheart: Aha! How disgust- Scene 2: In The Trench cot. Black Adder puts down the re- swooping and diving. ing. A Boche on the sole of my Lt. George is in the trench, ceiver. Black Adder rises from under boot. I shall have to find a patch peering through a pair of bin- Black Adder: Oh, God! Bloody the table. Baldrick starts his impression of grass to wipe it on. Probably oculars across No Man’s Land. Germans! They can’t take a Black Adder: For God’s sake, of a Sopwith Camel. get shunned in the Officers’ joke, can they? Just because Baldrick, take cover. Black Adder: George . . . Mess. Sorry about the pong Black Adder: Baldrick . . . you fellows, trod in a Boche 54 55 and can’t get rid of the whiff. else? cleans out the public toilets in Scene 6: Black Adder’s Dug- Aberdeen, and they’d go for out Black Adder rises. Flasheart is still on the phone Wee Jock “Poo-Pong” McPlop, Some time has elapsed. and ignores Black Adder. every time. Flasheart is regaling an en- Black Adder: Do you think we thralled George with stories. could dispense with the hilari- Flasheart: No, not in half an Flasheart laughs, then punches Black Adder is reading a copy of ous doggy-do metaphor for a hour, you rubber-desk johnny. Black Adder, knocking him to `King and Country’ at the table, moment? I’m not a Boche. Send the bitch with the wheels the floor. Flasheart goes into uninterested in what Flasheart This is a British trench. right now or I’ll fly back to Eng- the dugout. has to say. land and give your wife some- Flasheart puts his pistol away. thing to hang her towels on. Scene 5: Black Adder’s Dug- Flasheart: . . . so I flew straight out through her bedroom window, Flasheart: Is it? Oh, that’s a Flasheart throws down the re- George and Baldrick are dis- popped a box of chocs on the piece of luck. Thought I’d ceiver. cussing the Flying Aces. THE CAST: From left to right: Captain Darling, General dressing table, machine-gunned landed sausage-side! Ha! Melchett, Private Baldrick, Captain Blackadder, Lieutenant my telephone number into the Flasheart: Okay, dig out your George: . . . so when that fel- George. wall, and then shot off and Flasheart picks up the receiver best booze and let’s talk about low looped-the-loop, I honestly Flasheart wipes his glove on Flasheart: All right, you chaps, shagged her sister. of a field-telephone lying by the me ‘til the car comes. You thought that, that, that . . . Black Adder’s shirt. let’s get comfy. dugout entrance. must be pretty impressed hav- As George creases up with ing Squadron Commander the Flasheart enters, saluting. Baldrick: My Lord, I’ve got Flasheart sits down in chair. laughter, Bobby Parkhurst, an Flasheart: Mind if I use your Lord Flasheart drop in on your George sees him. Black Adder every cigarette card they ever George sits down on Black Ad- attractive girl trying to pass phone? If word gets out that squalid bit of line. enters behind Flasheart. printed of you. My whole fam- ders’s cot. Flasheart turns to herself off as a man, enters the I’m missing, five hundred girls ily took up smoking just so that Baldrick. dugout. will kill themselves. I wouldn’t Black Adder: Actually, no. I George: My God! we could get the whole set. My want them on my conscience, was more impressed by the grandmother smoked herself to Flasheart: You look like a de- Bobby: Ahem. Driver Parkhurst not when they ought to be on contents of my handkerchief Flasheart: Yes, I suppose I am. death so we could afford the al- cent British bloke. I’ll park reporting for duty, my Lord . . . my face! Huh! the last time I blew my nose. bum. the old booties on you if that’s George: Lord Flasheart, this is okay. Flasheart: Well, well, well. If Flasheart kicks the phone into Flasheart: Yeah, like hell. Huh, the greatest honour of my life. I Flasheart: Of course she did, of it isn’t little Bobby Parkhurst action. huh. You’ve probably got little hope I snuff it right now to pre- course she did, the poor love- Baldrick: It would be an hon- - saucier than a direct hit on a piccies of me on the walls of serve this moment forever. crazed old octogenarian. our, my Lord. Heinz factory. Flasheart: Hi, Flasheart here. your dugout, haven’t you? Baldrick kneels down on all Yeah, cancel the state funeral, Black Adder: It can be arranged. Flasheart moves to hug and fours in front of Flasheart. Bobby: I’ve come to pick you tell the King to stop blubbing. Flasheart tickles the front of kiss Baldrick, then thinks better up. Flash is not dead. I simply ran BA’s trousers. Baldrick: Lord Flasheart, I want of it. Flasheart: Of course it would! out of juice! Yeah, and before to learn to write so I can send Ha! Flasheart: Well, that’s how I all the girls start saying “Oh, Flasheart: I bet you go all girly a letter home about this golden Flasheart: Well, all right, you like my girls--direct and to my what’s the point of living any- and giggly every time you look moment. fellows. Let’s sit us down and Flasheart rests his feet on Bal- point. Woof! more”, I’m talking about petrol! at me. yarn about how amazingly at- drick’s back and sighs. Woof, woof! Yeah, I dumped Flasheart: So all the fellows tractive I am. Bobby: Woof! the kite on the proles, so send Flasheart twists Black Adder’s hate me, eh? Not a bit of it. I’m Flasheart: Have you any idea a car. Er, General Melchett’s John Thomas. Black Adder lets your bloody hero, eh, old scout? Black Adder: Yes, would you what it’s like to have the wind Flasheart removes his feet from driver should do. She hangs out a yell. excuse me for a moment? rushing through your hair? Baldrick, grabs Bobby and puts around with the big nobs, so Flasheart playfully scuffs up I’ve got some urgent business. her across his lap and begins to she’ll be used to a fellow like Black Adder: I’m afraid not. Baldrick’s hair, then notices There’s a bucket outside I’ve George: No, Sir. kiss her. During the kiss Black me! Woof, woof! Unfortunately, most of the in- that this action has left some- got to be sick into. Adder sarcastically checks his fantry think you’re a prat. Ask thing unpleasant on his glove. Flasheart breaks wind loudly in watch. Black Adder: Look, do you them who they’d prefer to Flasheart takes the mickey out Baldrick’s face. think you could make your ob- meet: Squadron Commander Flasheart: Jesus! of Black Adder’s holier-than- Flasheart: Ah! Tally ho, then! scene phone call somewhere Flasheart and the man who thou attitude. Flasheart: He has! Back to the bar. You should 56 57 join the Flying Corps, George. George moves across the dug- twenty minutes work, and then Darling: Oh, you want to join Darling: There’s nothing cushy That’s the way to fight a war. out to get his card album. spend the rest of the day loafing the Royal Flying Corps? about life in the Women’s Aux- Melchett looks up from his map. Tasty tuck, soft beds and a uni- about in Paris drinking gallons iliary Balloon Corps. form so smart it’s got a PhD George: . . . now this one is in of champagne and having doz- Black Adder: Oh, that’s a Melchett: Hello, Blackadder. from Cambridge. my Brooke Bond `Book of the ens of moist, pink, highly-expe- thought. Could I? Black Adder raises his eye- What are you doing here? Air’. rienced young French peasant brows at this. Flasheart gestures at Baldrick. girls galloping up and down my Darling: No, you couldn’t! Black Adder: Me, Sir? I just George returns to the cot and . . . Hang on! Goodbye! Darling: Ah . . . popped in to join the Royal Fly- Flasheart: You could even bring sits down. ing Corps. the breath monster here. Any- Scene 7: Captain Darling’s Darling sits back down. The door to General Melchett’s one can be a navigator if he can George: Now, you have to col- Office office opens and the General Darling: And, of course, I said tell his arse from his elbow. lect all the cards and then stick Captain Darling is writing at Black Adder: Look, come on, and George enter. BA and Dar- . . . them into this wonderful pre- his desk. There is a knock at the Darling, just give me an appli- ling snap to attention. Black Black Adder: Well, that’s Bal- sentation booklet. Er . . . office door. cation form. Adder salutes. Melchett: Bravo, I hope, Dar- drick out, I fear . . . ling. Because, you know, I’ve Baldrick sits down next to Darling: Come! Darling: It’s out of the question. George: . . . and then the bishop always had my doubts about Flasheart: We’re always look- George. This is simply a ruse to waste said “I’m awfully sorry, I didn’t you trenchy-type fellows. Al- ing for talented types to join the Black Adder enters the office. five months of training after realise you meant organist.” ways suspected there might be a Twenty Minuters. George: Ah, here we are: which you’ll claim you can’t bit too much of the battle-dodg- Twenty Minuters. Oh, damn! Darling: Ah, Captain Blackad- fly after all because it makes Melchett chortles. ing, nappy-wearing, I’d-rather- Black Adder . . . and there goes Haven’t got the card yet. Ah, der. your ears go `pop’. Come on, have-a-cup-of-tea-than-charge- George. but the caption says `Twenty I wasn’t born yesterday, Black- Melchett: Thank you, George. stark-naked-at-Jerry about you. minutes is the average amount Black Adder: Good morning, adder. At ease, everyone. Now, But if you’re willing to join the Flasheart rises from the chair, of time new pilots spend in the Captain Darling. where’s my map? Come on. Twenty Minuters then you’re lifting Bobby in his arms. air.’ Black Adder: More’s the pity, all right by me and welcome to Darling: What do you want? we could have started your per- Darling: Sir! marry my sister any day. Flasheart: Tally ho, then, Bob- Black Adder: Twenty minutes. sonality from scratch. So, the by. Hush, here comes a whizz- Black Adder: You’re looking so training period is five months, Darling hands Melchett his Darling: Are you sure about bang and I think you know what George: That’s right, Sir. well. is it? map. this, Sir? I’m talking about! Woof! Black Adder: I had a twenty Darling: I’m a busy man, Black- Darling: It’s no concern of yours Melchett: Thank you. Melchett: Certainly, you should Bobby: Woof! hour watch yesterday, with four adder. Let’s hear it, whatever it if it’s five years and comes with hear the noise she makes when hours overtime, in two feet of is. a free holiday in Tunisia, con- Melchett unfurls the map the she eats a boiled egg. Be glad Flasheart and Bobby leave. water. traceptives supplied. Besides, wrong way up. to get her out of the house. So, Black Adder: Well, you know, they wouldn’t admit you. It’s report back here 09:00 hours Black Adder: God, it’s like George, then Baldrick, rise Darling, every . . . every man not easy getting transfers, you Melchett: God, it’s a barren, for your basic training. Crufts in here! from the cot and move to the has a dream . . . know. featureless desert out there, table. isn’t it. Scene 8: Captain Darling’s Baldrick and George stand. Darling: Hmmm . . . Darling returns to his work. Office George: Well then, for goodness Darling: The other side, Sir! It is the next morning. Dar- George: I say, Sir. What a sake, Sir, why don’t we join? Black Adder: . . . and when I Black Adder: Oh, you’ve tried ling’s office has been set out splendid notion. The Twenty was a small boy, I used to watch it yourself, have you? Melchett turns the map over. with chairs and there is a black- Minuters. Soft tucker, tasty Baldrick: Yeah, be better than the marsh warblers swooping Black Adder turns to George. board with a chalk picture of a beds, fluffy uniforms. just sitting around here all day in my mothers undercroft, and Darling breaks his pencil. Sopwith Camel on it. Black Ad- on our elbows. I remember thinking `Will men Black Adder: Hello, George. der and George are in the front Baldrick: Begging your permis- ever dare do the same?’ And Darling: No, I haven’t. What are you doing here? row of seats. There are three sion, Sir, but why do they call Black Adder: No thank you. you know . . . other trainees. Darling is at his them the Twenty Minuters? No thank you. I have no desire Black Adder: Trust you to try George: Me, Sir? I just popped desk at the back. to hang around with a bunch Darling rises from his desk. and skive off to some cushy op- in to join the Royal Flying George: Ah, now, yes, . . . of upper-class delinquents, do tion. Corps. George: Crikey! I’m look- 58 59 ing forward to today. Up-did- Adder. training? adders aircraft. dly-up, down-diddly-down, whoops-poop, twiddly-dee, a Flasheart: Well, well, well, Flasheart: Hey, wet-pants! This Black Adder: Oh no! Watch decent scrap with the fiendish well, well. If it isn’t old Cap- isn’t the Women’s Auxiliary out, Baldrick, it’s stood right on Red Baron, a bit of a jolly old tain Slack Bladder. Balloon Corps. You’re in the our tail. Yes, now this is devel- crash landing behind enemy Twenty Minuters now. oping into a distinctly boring lines, capture, torture, escape Black Adder: Blackadder. situation, but we’re still on our and then back home in time for Darling stands up. side of the line so I’ll crash-land tea and medals. Flasheart: Couldn’t resist it, eh, and claim my ears went `pop’ Slack Bladder? Told you you Darling: Er, Sir . . . first time out. Black Adder: George, who’s thought I was great. All right using the family brain-cell at men, let’s do-oo-oo it! The first Flasheart: Yes . . . Baldrick: Ooh, let’s hope we the moment? This is just the thing to remember is: always fall on something soft! beginning of the training. The treat your kite . . . Darling: . . . Sir! beginning of five long months Black Adder: Fine. I’ll try and of very clever, very dull men Flasheart taps the picture of the Flasheart: . . . Prat at the back! aim between General Melchett’s looking at machinery. Sopwith Camel with his stick. ears! Darling: I think we’d all be in- RECUE: Li George and Lord Flasheart arrived to rescue Bal- Flasheart is heard in the corri- Flasheart: . . . like you treat your trigued to know why you’re drick and Blackadder from the Germans. Click on the photo to Scene 10: A German Prison dor. woman! called the Twenty Minuters. watch a video clip from this episode. Cell Black Adder is pacing about the Flasheart: Hey, girls! Look at Flasheart whips the air with George: Oh, Mister Thicko. George: Hairy blighters, Sir. a little wobble there. I’ll get cell. Baldrick is seated. my machinery! his cane. Imagine not knowing that. This is a bit of a turn-up for the the hang of it, don’t worry. plus fours. All right, Baldrick, how many Black Adder: I don’t believe The sound of screaming wom- George: How, how do you Flasheart: Well, it’s simple! rounds have we got? it. A German prison cell. For en is heard from the corridor. mean, Sir? Do you mean, do The average life expectancy for Darling rises and moves to the two and a half years the West- Flasheart enters Darling’s of- you mean take her home at a new pilot is twenty minutes. door. Baldrick: Er, five hundred, Sir. ern Front has been as likely to fice, zipping up his fly. Heis weekends to meet your mother? Darling: Ah . . . Cheese and tomato for you, rat move as a Frenchman who lives carrying a stick. All present Darling: I shouldn’t worry for me. next door to a brothel, and last rise to attention. Flasheart: No, I mean get inside Darling sits. about it too much, Blackadder. night the Germans advance a her five times a day and take her Flying’s all about navigation. George: Tally-bally ho! mile and we land on the wrong Flasheart: Enter a man who has to heaven and back. Black Adder: Life expectancy . As long as you’ve got a good side. no underwear. Ask me why. . . of twenty minutes . . . navigator I’m sure you’ll be Baldrick: What’s this? George looks confused. fine. Baldrick: Ooh, dear, Captain B, All except Black Adder: Why Flasheart: That’s right. Gog- Baldrick climbs out of his seat. my tummy’s gone all squirty. do you have no underwear, Black Adder: I’m beginning to gles on, chocks away, last one Darling sniggers as he opens Lord Flash? see why the Suffragette Move- back’s a homo! Hurray! the door to reveal Baldrick in Black Adder: Baldrick! Bal- Black Adder: That means you’re ment want the vote. flying gear. Baldrick enters. drick! Will you stop arsing scared, Baldrick, and you’re Flasheart: Because the pants Flasheart runs out of the room. Darling leaves. about and get back in the plane! not the only one. I couldn’t be haven’t been built yet that’ll Flasheart: Hey, hey! Any bird more petrified if a wild rhinoc- take the job on. who wants to chain herself Trainee Pilots: Hurray! Scene 9: In The Air Baldrick: Ooh, ooh, ooh! Hey, eros had just come home from to my railings and suffer a jet Black Adder and Baldrick are Sir, I can see a pretty red plane a hard day at the swamp and Flasheart performs a pelvic movement gets my vote. Er, Trainee Pilots run after flying in a Sopwith Camel. from up here. Ha ha! Woo found me wearing his pyjamas, thrust. right. Well, I’ll see you in ten Flasheart. George is another Camel. woo! smoking his cigars and in bed minutes for take-off. with his wife. Flasheart: And that’s the type Black Adder: So, we take off in Black Adder: Actually, they’re Von Richthoven: Schnell! Da of guy who’s doing the training Flasheart begins to leave. ten minutes, we’re in the air for right. This is a doddle. unten! Ha ha ha! Baldrick: I’ve heard what these around here. Sit down! twenty minutes, which means Baldrick: Careful, Sir! Germans will do, Sir. They’ll Black Adder: Hang on, hang we should be dead by twenty Von Richthoven shoots out one have their wicked way with All sit. Flasheart notices Black on! What about the months of five to ten. Black Adder: Whoops, whoops, of the wing-supports on Black- anything of woman-born. 60 61 Black Adder: Well, in that against the wall. Melchett: Now, then, now then, George: Your dog, Sir. Melchett: Erm, what is the ac- Von Richthoven kisses Black case, Baldrick, you’re quite now, now, then, now then, now tual scale of this map, Darling? Adder on both cheeks. safe. However, the Teutonic Black Adder: And what is your then, then now, now, now then. Melchett: Yes, yes, my dog. But reputation for brutality is well- message? What’s going on here? what I’m trying to say, George, Darling: Erm, one-to-one, Sir. Black Adder: You may have founded: their operas last three is that the state young Flossy been right, Balders. Looks like or four days; and they have no Von Gerhardt: It is: Prepare for Darling: That damn fool Black- was in after we’d scraped him Melchett: Come again? we’re going to get rogered to word for `fluffy’. a fate worse than death, English adder has crashed his plane off my front tyre is very much death after all. flying fellow. behind enemy lines, Sir. This the state that young Blackadder Darling: Er, the map is actu- Baldrick: I want my mum! young idiot wants to go and try will be in now. If not very ally life-size, Sir. It’s superbly Baldrick: Do you want me to go Black Adder: Oh. So, it’s the rescue him. It’s a total waste of nearly dead, then very actually detailed. Look, look, there’s a first, Sir? Black Adder: Yes, it’d be good traditional warm German wel- men and equipment. dead. little worm. to see her. I should imagine come. Von Richthoven laughs. a maternally-outraged gorilla George: He’s not a damn fool, George: Permission for lip to Melchett: Oh, yes. So the ac- could be a useful ally when it Von Gerhardt: Correct. Also, he Sir, he’s a bally hero. wobble, Sir? tual amount of land retaken is? Von Richthoven: You English comes to the final scrap. is saying: Do not try to escape and your sense of humour. Dur- or you will suffer even worse. Melchett: All right. All right, Melchett: Permission granted. Darling whips out a tape mea- ing your brief stay I look for- Footsteps are heard outside the all right, all right. I’ll deal with sure and measures the table. ward to learning more of your cell. Black Adder: A fate worse than this, Darling. Delicate touch George’s lips wobble. Darling: Excuse me, Sir. Sev- wit, your punning and your a fate worse than death? Sounds needed, I fancy. enteen square feet, Sir. amusing jokes about the break- Black Adder: Prepare to die like pretty bad. Melchett: Stout fellow. ing of the wind. a man, Baldrick. Melchett takes George over to Melchett: Excellent. So you Scene 11: Captain Darling’s the fireplace. George: But surely, Sir, you see, young Blackadder didn’t Black Adder: Well, Baldrick’s Baldrick stands. Office must allow me to at least try die horribly in vain after all. the expert there. George and Darling are argu- Melchett: Now, George. Do and save him. Black Adder: Or as close as ing loudly, there is confused you remember when I came George: If he did die, Sir. Baldrick: I certainly am, Sir. you can come to a man without chatter. down to visit you when you Melchett: No, George. It would actually shaving the palms of were a nipper for your sixth be as pointless as trying to teach Darling: Tch! Von Richthoven laughs. your hands. George: Yes well, you see, it’s birthday? You used to have a a woman the value of a good, all very well for you, isn’t it, lovely little rabbit. Beautiful forward defensive stroke. Be- Melchett: That’s the spirit, Von Richthoven: How lucky The door opens and Ober- sitting here behind your, behind little thing. Do you remember? sides, it would take a superman George. If nothing else works, you English are to find the toi- leutnant von Gerhardt enters. your, behind your comfy desk. to get him out of there, not the then a total pig-headed unwill- let so amusing. For us, it is a George: Flossy. kind of weed who blubs just ingness to look facts in the face mundane and functional item. Von Gerhardt: Good evening. I Darling: Don’t you take that because somebody gives him will see us through. For you, the basis of an entire am Oberleutnant von Gerhardt. tone with me, Lieutenant, or I’ll Melchett: That’s right. Flossy. a slice of rabbit pie instead of culture. I have a message from the Bar- have you on a charge for insub- Do you remember what hap- birthday cake. Scene 12: A German Prison on von Richthoven, the greatest ordination. pened to Flossy? Cell Baldrick laughs, von Rich- living German. George: Well, I suppose you’re Black Adder is seated. Baldrick thoven slaps him in the face. George: Well, I’d rather be on George: You shot him. right, Sir. is sitting on the floor. There is Black Adder: Which, consider- a charge for insubordination a jangling of keys, the cell door Von Richthoven: I must now ing that his competition consists than on a charge of deserting a Melchett: That’s right. It was Melchett: Course I am. Now opens and the Red Baron en- tell you of the full horror of entirely of very fat men in leath- friend. the kindest thing to do after let’s talk about something more ters. what awaits you. er shorts burping to the tune of he’d been run over by that car. jolly, shall we? Look, this is the `She’ll Be Coming Round The Darling: How dare you talk to amount of land we’ve recap- Von Richthoven: So! I am the Black Adder: Ah, you see, Mountain’, is no great achieve- me like that! George: By your car, Sir. tured since yesterday. Red Baron von Richthoven and Balders. Dress it up in any ment. you are the two English flying amount of pompous verbal di- George: How dare I . . .? Melchett: Yes, by my car. But Melchett and George move over aces responsible for the spilling arrhoea, and the message is Von Gerhardt: Quiet! that too was an act of mercy to the map table. of the precious German blood `Squareheads down for the big General Melchett, attracted by when you would remember that of many of my finest and my Boche gang-bang’. Von Gerhardt slaps Baldrick the noise, enters from his office. that dog had been set on him. George: Oh, excellent. blondest friends. I have waited across the face. Baldrick falls many months to do this. Von Richthoven: As an officer 62 63 and a gentleman, you will be . . . impotent, they say. Flasheart smashes through the Flasheart: Come on. `hint of brain’. looking forward to a quick and Black Adder notices that the cell door, swinging on a rope. noble death. Von Richthoven laughs. cell door has been left ajar. As he lands, he trumpets his Black Adder: Yes, yes. Look, Black Adder: Excellent. Well, own arrival. I’m sorry, chaps, but I’ve splin- that’s clear. Let’s get back to Black Adder: Well, obviously. Von Richthoven: Sexual innu- Black Adder: Oh, damn! He’s, tered my pancreas. Erm, and I that lovely war, then! endo. he’s left the door open. Flasheart: It’s me. Hurray! seem to have this terrible cough. Von Richthoven: But, instead, Flasheart: Woof! an even worse fate awaits you. Von Richthoven laughs. Baldrick: Oh, good! We can es- George and Baldrick: Hurray! Black Adder fakes a couple of Tomorrow, you will be taken cape, Sir. coughs. George: Woof! back to Germany . . . Von Richthoven: But enough of Flasheart smashes Baldrick in this. As you say in England, I Black Adder: Are you mad, the face. Baldrick falls to the Black Adder: Coff-guards! Baldrick: Bark! Black Adder: Here it comes! must fly. Baldrick? I’ll find someone to floor. Coff-guards! lock it for us. As the group moves to leave, Von Richthoven: . . . to a con- Von Richthoven laughs. Flasheart: God’s potatoes, Flasheart: Wait, wait, wait, von Richthoven appears at the vent school, outside Heidelberg, Black Adder opens the door to George. You said noble broth- wait, wait a minute. Now I may cell door. where you will spend the rest of Von Richthoven: Perhaps I will find George standing there. er flyers were in the lurch. If be packing the kind of tackle Von Richthoven: Not so fast, the war teaching the young girls master this humour after all, ja? George: Ssh! Keep-ee! Mum’s I’d known you meant old Slack that you’d normally expect to Blackadder. home economics. Black Adder: I wouldn’t be too the word! Not ‘arf, or what? Bladder and the mound of the find swinging about between optimistic. hound of the Baskervilles, I’d the hindlegs of a Grand Nation- Black Adder: Oh, damn! Foiled Black Adder: Er . . . Black Adder shuts the door in probably have let them stew in al winner, but I’m not totally again! What bad luck! Von Richthoven: Oh, and the George’s face. their own juice. stupid, and I’ve got the kind of Von Richthoven: For you, as a little fellow, if you get lonely feeling you’d rather we hadn’t Von Richthoven enters the cell. man of honour, the humiliation in the night, I’m in the old cha- Baldrick: Sir, why did you just Baldrick rises. come. will be unbearable. teau. There’s no pressure. slam the door on Lieutenant Von Richthoven: Ah, and the George? Flasheart: And let me tell you, Black Adder: No, no, no, I’m Lord Flasheart. This is indeed Black Adder: Oh, I think you’ll Von Richthoven starts to leave. if I ever tried that, I’d probably very grateful. It’s just that I’d an honour. Finally, the two find we’re tougher than you As he moves up the steps to Black AdderI can’t believe it. drown. slow you up. greatest gentleman fliers in the imagine. the cell door he prat-falls and Go away! world meet. Two men of hon- laughs. Baldrick laughs. Flasheart Flasheart: I think I’m beginning our, who have jousted together Von Richthoven: Ha! I can tell George pushes the door open laughs and smacks Baldrick in to understand. in the cloud-strewn glory of the how much you are suffering by Von Richthoven: Prat-fall! and enters the cell. the face, knocking him to the skies, face to face at last. How your long faeces. floor once more. Black Adder: Are . . . are you? often I have rehearsed this mo- Von Richthoven leaves the cell, George: It’s me. It’s me. ment of destiny in my dreams. Black Adder: We’re not suf- laughing as he goes. Flasheart: Still, since I’m here, Flasheart: Just because I can The panoply to encapsulate the fering too much to say `thank Black Adder: But what the hell I may as well do-oo it, as the give multiple orgasms to the unspoken nobility of a com- you’. Thank you. Say `thank Baldrick: Is it really true, Sir? are you doing here? Bishop said to the netball team. furniture just by sitting on it, radeship. you’, Baldrick. Is the war really over for us? Come on, chums! doesn’t mean that I’m not sick George: Oh, never mind the of this damn war: the blood, the Flasheart shoots von Rich- Baldrick: Thank you, Baldrick. Black Adder: Yup! Out of the hows, and the whys and the do- Flasheart runs out of the cell, noise, the endless poetry. thoven. war and teaching nuns how to you-mind-if-I-don’ts. followed by George and Bal- Von Richthoven laughs. boil eggs. For us, the Great War drick. Black Adder sits down Black Adder: Is that really what Flasheart: What a poof! Come is finito. A war that would be a Black Adder: But it would have and begins to moan, faking an you think, Flasheart? on! Von Richthoven: How amus- damn sight simpler if we’d just taken a superman to get in here. injury. All exit the cell, cheering. ing. But now, forgive me. I stayed in England and shot fifty Flasheart whips out his pistol must take to the skies once thousand of our men a week. George: Well, it’s funny you Black Adder: Aah! Ow! Aah! and threatens Black Adder. Scene 13: Captain Darling’s again. Very funny. The noble No more mud, death, rats, should say that, because as it Office Lord Flasheart still eludes me. bombs, shrapnel, whizz-bangs, happens I did have some help Flasheart runs back into the Flasheart: Course it’s not what Darling is dusting the office barbed wire and those bloody from a rather spiffing bloke. cell, followed by George and I think. Now get out that door door. Black Adder opens the Black Adder: I think you’ll find awful songs that have the word He’s taken a break from some Baldrick. before I redecorate that wall an door in Darling’s face. he’s overrated. Bad breath and `whoops’ in the title. crucial top-level shagging. interesting new colour called 64 65 Black Adder: Hello, Darling. and decided it wasn’t a reason- Melchett notices the uncon- able use of our time and re- scious Darling. Quiz Answers Darling retreats backwards to- sources. wards his desk as Black Adder Melchett: Don’t slouch, Dar- So how did you do with this months quiz? Here are the answers. enters. Flasheart: Well, this isn’t a rea- ling. sonable use of my time and re- 1. Honey tank. 12. Grease Gun. Darling: Good Lord. Captain sources, but I’m going to do it Black Adder: I was wondering 2. Adolf Galland. 13. Mike Hoare. 6 Blackadder. I thought, I thought anyway. whether, having been tortured 3. Stonewall. 14. Adolph Malan. you were . . . by the most vicious sadist in 4. M4 Sherman. The British 15. Jimmy. Darling: What? the German army, I might be named it the ‘Ronson’ after 16. White Death. Black Adder: Playing tennis? allowed a week’s leave to recu- a cigarette lighter because 17. The potato masher or the Flasheart: This! perate, Sir. they said it “lights up first stick grenade. Darling: No. time, every time” when hit. 18. Thompson submachine gun Flasheart head-butts Darling. Melchett: Excellent idea. Your 5. British Field Marshall or Tommy Gun. Black Adder: Dead? Darling groans and falls back- commanding officer would Douglas Haig. 19. The Dam Busters. wards across his desk. have to be stark raving mad to 6. The Nebelwerfer Rocket 20. Vorster Orrel. Darling: Well, yes, unfortunate- refuse you. Launcher. 21. Der rote Kampfflieger - the ly. Flasheart: All right, Slacky! 7. Junkers Ju 87. Red Battle-Flyer. 24 All right, Slacky! I’ve got to Black Adder: Well, you are my 8. General George S. Patton 22. Dad’s Army. Black Adder: Well, I had a lucky fly. Two million chicks, only commanding officer. Jnr. 23. The Red Devils. escape. No thanks to you. This one Flasheart. And remember, 9. 101st Airborne Division. 24. Eland 60 armoured car. is a friend of mine. if you want something, take it. Melchett: Well? 10. Bubi (A German word mean- 25. Bohemian Corporal. Bobby! ing “young boy” or “kid”.) Flasheart is standing on Dar- Black Adder: Can I have a 11. Stalin Organ. ling’s desk. Darling turns Bobby enters the office and sa- week’s leave to recuperate, Sir? around and finds himself star- lutes. ing at Flasheart’s crotch. Melchett: Certainly not! Useful links Bobby: My Lord! Darling: Argh! Black Adder: Thank you, Sir. Every month we will be featuring a few useful links to military websites, newsletters and on- Flasheart: I want something! line magazines. Stuff that we think our readers will appreciate. Flasheart: Hi, creep. Melchett: Baaaaaa! Here are two of our favourites. The first one is Nongqai, the unofficial police newsletter for Bobby: Take it! veterans of the former South African Police Force and for those interested in Police History. The Black Adder: Flasheart, this is second is Jimmy’s Own, the official newsletter of the South African Signals Association. Click Captain Darling. Flasheart: Woof! on the magazine covers to go to the respective websites.

Flasheart: Captain Darling? Bobby starts to unbutton her Funny name for a guy, isn’t it? top as she leaves the office, fol- lowed by Flasheart. Flasheart jumps down from the desk. Black Adder: Git!

Flasheart: Last person I called General Melchett enters from `Darling’ was pregnant twen- his office. ty seconds later. Hear you couldn’t be bothered to help old Melchett: Ah, Blackadder. So Slacky here. you escaped.

Darling: Er, well, it . . . it wasn’t Black Adder: Yes, Sir. quite that, Sir. It’s just that we weighed up the pros and cons, Melchett: Bravo! 66 67 E-mail [email protected]

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