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Secret UWT underground parking found | P. 2 Seattle SuperSonics are coming home! | P. 3 5 natural ways to get summer ready| P. 4

THE UWT’S FREE WEEKLY PUBLICATION LEDGER APRIL 1, 2019 | Volume 23, Issue 22 thetacomaledger.com 2 NEWS OPINION ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT The Ledger. April 1, 2019 | Volume 23 | Issue 22 Secret parking lots discovered underneath UWT Can’t find parking? There’s a solution — UWT faculty members just haven’t told you about it. The Ledger By Leticia Bennett about this when I started here, there UWT’s weekly student publication News Editor wouldn’t be any parking conflicts!” Apr. 1, 2019 | Vol. 23, Issue 22 Though all faculty found guilty have Editors 1000 stalls of parking have been denied requests for comments, they Editor-in-Chief ...... Kelsie Abram found under the UW Tacoma campus. will be making a public apology on Managing Editor ...... Ella Lucente The stalls, located directly underneath April 32 in William W. Philip Hall, News Editor ...... Leticia Bennett the Mattress Factory and the Harmon which the entire UWT community is Opinion Editor ...... Christian Bell A&E Editor ...... Miles Cameron Restaurant, were uncovered after finals invited to attend. There will also be an week when a student — who was dis- opportunity for students to release their Managers tressed about their final exam score — anger at several events that will include Layout Manager...... Logan Jenny Web Manager ...... Natalie Peyton wandered around campus and fell into food fights, wrestling matches and Distribution Manager..Mitchell Fermo the underground cavern which housed whac-a-mole. Advertising Manager..Elijah Freeman the lots. While the lots are still being inspect- According to officials, the lots were ed for safety reasons, Parking-Mania Staff Writers originally created for student use, but Addict, the director of parking at UWT, News Reporter ...... Mitchell Fermo were accidentally sealed with cement and believes that the stalls could be a solution News Reporter...... Meghan Rand concrete before the university opened. to the parking crisis on campus. News Reporter...... Tyler Wicke Opinion Columnist ...... Alyssa Tatro However, unbeknownst to even UW “There’s a lot of things we could do Opinion Columnist...Bengisu Incetas leadership, faculty members have been with this,” said Addict. “This comes at A&E Columnist ...... Alex Alderman using them for years. such an opportune time. With these new A&E Columnist…...... ……Jenny Lam Several students and staff members lots we could finally get students to stop Sports Columnist...... Brooks Moeller expressed their outrage after learning complaining. Because there is so much Art about the lots. space, we could probably even add an Illustrator ...... Bruno Marquez “I can’t believe I never knew about amusement park down there! Photographer ...... Sarah Smith this!” said Johnny Corn, a senior major- If all goes well, students may be able ing in Sleeping Studies. “I mean, 1000 to use the lots beginning April 1 of the Design lots is a crazy amount of space. Why 2099–2100 school year. Page Designer...... Maya Thomas PHOTO BY LOGAN JENNY would our professors keep something No just kidding, there really isn’t any What we just found out about the parking on campus! There’s more parking spots on Page Designer...... Natalie Peyton campus and faculty have been keeping it secret for years. Website Designer...... Robert Gillis like this from us? If everyone had known secret parking lots. Happy April Fool’s!

Advisor Publications Manager ... Daniel Nash Breach in UW student database causes Cover Art Photo by Logan Jenny loss of all winter quarter grades this le c n y e w

c A truly devastating event for the UWT community.

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On March 27, a day after winter quarter grades were posted, they had suddenly disappeared without a trace. Check out all the stories printed Laurie Quip, an academic advisor at here plus more content online! UW Tacoma, was the first to notice the thetacomaledger.com error during a routine registration and facebook.com/uwtledger class scheduling appointment at 10 a.m. Twitter: @uwtledger that morning. Instagram: @uwtledger “They’re just….gone,” said Quip after Office:MAT 151 Thursday’s shocking ordeal. “I tried to Phone: 253-692-4428 run an audit for a graduating senior, ILLUSTRATION BY BRUNO MARQUEZ Email: [email protected] when I noticed none of the classes she I’m sorry, your winter quarter grades are unavailable — and need to be re-done. Office Hours: took winter quarter were appearing.” Office of the University of Registrar had grades is beyond repairment. pated receiving her degree at the end Monday: 11:00 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Quip claims that she then checked shut down for an emergency meeting. “Unfortunately, the damage is far too of spring quarter, explained her frus- 1:30 p.m.–2:30 p.m. the student’s transcript and found all of According to our sources, the Uni- substantial,” Wittman said. “Our IT team trating circumstance. 3:40 p.m.–4:40 p.m. her courses and grades had appeared versity of Washington’s lead IT team worked non-stop Thursday and Friday “I’m double majoring in psychology Tuesday: 11:00 a.m.–2:00 p.m. Wednesday: 11:00 a.m.–3:00 p.m. except for winter quarter’s. revealed to the registrars that a virus had without any luck retrieving the lost files. and economics,” Fran said. “To know that Thursday: 9 a.m.–1:20 p.m. THE BREAKDOWN: penetrated the Electronic Academic Re- Worst case scenario, students will need the hardest required courses I’ve ever Friday: 10:00 a.m.–4:00 p.m. Quip reported the incident to her cords System. This system contains aca- to repeat their respected courses.” taken at UWT will need to be re-taken supervisor who immediately emailed the demics data, directory information, An official statement was also -re is simply… traumatic.” DARS — the Degree Audit Reporting student demographics, holds and tran- leased by UW president Anna Blague Protests for UW to re-compensate System — office located at UW Seattle. script information. It also allows UW yesterday morning, which deemed the students for lost classes are scheduled to WE'RE HIRING Mario Boffola, the Senior Associate Reg- departmental staff to access student re- news as “potentially devastating for our occur later this week. There are also ru- istrar and Supervisor of DARS claimed cord information and advisers to make UW community.” mors of other students planning to sue (NO JOKE) his office received “dozens of similar notes for student records. THE AFTERMATH: for emotional re-compensation. TO SEE OPENINGS, GO TO: emails from students and advisers at all WHAT THIS MEANS: The news of the breach and it’s ex- UW’s chief administrators, IT team three UW campuses regarding the issue.” Helen Wittman, University Regis- pected consequences are now reaching and leaders are currently working around TACOMA.UW.EDU/HANDSHAKE They weren’t alone, either. Gertrude Zahl, trar and Chief Officer for Enrollment thousands of students in our UW com- the clock to find solutions to quench the assistant registrar of the Registration and Information Services, reportedly an- munity. This news is also crushing for flames. As for the virus, they aren’t sure Transcripts Office claims her small staff nounced to the Board of Registrar’s and those students who may have to repeat what to call it. of five were flooded with at least 100 calls leadership team via email Saturday their courses — especially for seniors. One suggestion has been the SIKE by noon. By 2 p.m. that day, the entire night that the loss of winter quarter UWT senior Natalie Fran, who antici- virus — Sike, happy April Fools day! NEWS OPINION ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT The Ledger. April 1, 2019 | Volume 23 | Issue 22 3 UWT announces new underwater basket weaving degree UW Tacoma’s new Bachelor of Arts in Underwater Basket Weaving is part of the university’s plan to diversify degree offerings starting fall quarter of the 2019–20 academic year.

By Meghan Rand leader of the new program. “This degree Over the course of four years, stu- required for entry into the major. News Reporter reflects UWT’s commitment to diversity, dents in this field will sharpen their skills The program will begin offering and we truly believe that students from on both sides through a combination of seven courses during fall 2019, and will Beginning fall quarter 2019, UW any program will benefit from the artis- textbook reading, building an artistic eventually expand to 10 courses that fol- Tacoma has announced plans to offer a tic value and complex skill this type of portfolio and hands-on field work. The lowing spring. Students from other pro- new academic program in Underwater discipline provides.” mandatory capstone class for this major grams are encouraged to take these Basket Weaving. The degree, which will Underwater basket weaving is a grow- is a challenging course where students classes to fulfill their Visual, Literary and be part of the School of Interdisciplinary ing industry in the Pacific Northwest, will be required to design and host a Performing Arts (VLPA) requirement Arts and Sciences, integrates the complex and has become increasingly popular live, public exhibition of their under- that is needed for most UWT degrees. artistic skill of basket weaving with the with college students. Colleges, such as water creations. Disclaimer: While you’re registering physical challenge of being underwater Evergreen State College, have also begun Some example courses include for your first class in the Underwater for prolonged periods of time. offering related programs. UWT’s goal “TBASK 101: Fundamentals of Basket ILLUSTRATION BY BRUNO MARQUEZ Basket Weaving major, remember: this “We are so excited to be expanding is to keep up with the growing demand Weaving,” “TBASK 213: History of Un- course titled “TBASK 200: Fundamentals isn’t a real major and there’s no courses the school of IAS,” said Dr. Tentacles, the and continue to foster innovation. derwater Art” and mandatory safety of Diving,” where a grade of 2.0 will be that offer this. Happy April Fool’s Day! City of Seattle announces NBA expansion franchise By Tyler Wicke home to a city yearning for basketball. Western Conference, but as noted ear- have donned a Sonics uniform — has Seattle to make a championship run, the News Reporter “It is my privilege to announce the lier, they are not the only city with a committed to play for Seattle once the trio could end their careers in storybook expansion of the NBA back to this great franchise headed its way. team returns. Durant played one season fashion, bringing a championship to Se- After 11 miserable seasons without city of Seattle, a community that once Kansas City will additionally home with the team before their relocation to attle — a city that let their team get away. our beloved SuperSonics, the city of Se- witnessed a heartbreaking departure over an NBA franchise and will begin to play Oklahoma City. If you’re excited for the 2021 season, attle rejoiced Friday morning when NBA a decade ago,” said Silver, who addressed alongside Seattle for the 2021–22 season. Durant also carries with him the abil- don't be — I’m just kidding. I hope this Commissioner Adam Silver announced the media on the breaking news. “With This is for good reason — though the ity to lure other superstars to Seattle. wasn’t too brutal. the return of an expansion franchise. the ongoing renovations of KeyArena cities differ in opinion on who deserves James Harden, drafted by the Thunder The Seattle SuperSonics — who will and the outcry for basketball in the city, a basketball team more, it seems as if both soon after their arrival, will become a keep their original name — will return awarding Seattle a team was simply a will have their wish granted. free agent in 2020. Russell Westbrook, to the Western Conference in time for no-brainer.” Typically, it is near impossible for an who was drafted by the Sonics six days the 2021–22 season. The NBA currently consists of two expansion team to see success immedi- before their relocation, will have to wait Much of the delay is attributed to the conferences — the Eastern and Western ately upon existence. When first intro- until 2023 to sign with another team — renovations of KeyArena, the former — Conferences — with 15 teams in each. duced to the NBA in 1967, the SuperSon- but don’t rule out a career-ending return and future — home of the SuperSonics. As part of the NBA’s expansion agree- ics were just 23–59 in their inaugural to the team that once drafted him. With an $850 million renovation in the ment, each conference will add an ad- season. But recent news could give Se- Though all three were once team- COURTESY OF SPORTSCENTER works that was once thought to primar- ditional team in order to keep each con- attle quite an advantage with their return. mates, Harden and Durant left Okla- Kevin Durant (right) could lure super- ily service Seattle’s coming NHL fran- ference equal in size. Kevin Durant — an NBA superstar homa City in 2012 and 2016, respec- stars Russell Westbrook and James chise, the Sonics will additionally return The SuperSonics will return to the and one of just two remaining players to tively. But if the three were to reunite in Harden back to Seattle.

UW has decided to change their mascot. uskies in the hallway: If you could pick a new mascot for the H COMPILED BY: KELSIE ABRAM university, what would it be and why?

Rainn Wilson Anna Faris Kyle MacLachlan Detlef Schrempf Kenny G Freshman Sophomore Junior Senior Professor Paper Sales Theatrical Parody Mystic Studies Double Dribble Economics Jazz and Sensual Scatting “Definitely the UW “I’m not sure. But “I think UW should “I would say the UW “Our university should Bears. Fact: Bears whatever they decide consider the idea of not Sonics, but I just heard consider breaking the climb faster than they on, I think it should be changing the mascot, the SuperSonics are status quo — make our can run, and they love something that really and instead just moving coming back to Seattle. mascot a beautiful, shiny salami. It’s only the screams out at you. the campus to Twin One day, I hope to brass saxophone. Playing most obvious choice.” Almost like a scary movie Peaks, WA. My girlfriend, play for the Seattle some sweet, jazzy tunes — but in a good way!” Laura Palmer, says some SuperSonics! But a guy before any game is the really interesting stuff can only dream…” true key to school spirit.” happens there!” DISCLAIMER: Happy April Fool’s Day! These are not current UW students, but famous and notable alumni — and still Huskies — of the University of Washington. 4 NEWS OPINION ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT The Ledger. April 1, 2019 | Volume 23 | Issue 22 5 fresh and natural ways to prepare for summertime Are you ready for summer? These dirt face masks will get you in the mood! By Ella Lucente 1 box of your choice of pizza Managing Editor It’s been said that the consumption of pizza crusts correlate with gaining Ah, spring time — the season to that bouncy, curly hair that many pull out those floral dresses and women slave hours away working on. gladiator sandals, prepare for the If you want the most lucious and soft upcoming summertime, hit the gym curls, try eating the crusts off pizza! to gain that “summer body,” and most There is no set time for how long to importantly, focus on getting clearer eat the crusts, but studies have shown skin, soft luscious hair and a good that if you eat pizza crust at least four tan. Here are five do-it-yourself tricks times a week, your curls will become and tips to take advantage of before volumized waves in less than 10 days. the summer comes! VINEGAR DEODORANT TO MANAGE B.O. DIY CHEETO TANNING OIL You will need: You will need: 1 bottle of apple cider vinegar 1 large bag of Cheeto Puffs Is your body odor so bad that you 1 stick of butter avoid those stylish tank tops during

Want a sweet tan like President PHOTO BY NATALIE PEYTON summer? Fear not, for apple cider Trump? We have the remedy for you! Want clearer skin for summer? Try the dirt masks — and don’t forget to rinse with bacon grease! vinegar is here to save the day! The Empty the bag of Cheeto Puffs into You will need: go on Amazon and buy some of these cups of dirt from your garden into a disgusting smell of apple cider vinegar a food processor and mix well. In a 1 Kalteen bar nutrition bars! bowl. Then, add the water, and mix helps mask the B.O., which is a true separate bowl, microwave the butter We all have watched — and loved DIY DIRT FACIAL MASKS gently into a paste. Put the paste all win-win for everyone! So go to your until fully melted, then pour it into — “Mean Girls.” We retweet their You will need: over your face, and allow to soak local grocery store, pick up a big bot- the food processor and mix the two memes, we binge watch the movie 1 solo brand cup overnight. In the morning, rinse gen- tle of this bad boy, and smell like vin- together. Finally, rub the concoction until we can quote all the lines, and 3 cups of dirt tly, and make sure to moisturize your egar all day long! all over your body and immediately we try their foods — more notably, 1 cup of water face with bacon grease for the dirt to There you have it! Five fresh and lay in the sun for 10 hours, allowing the Kalteen bar. However, they lied Dump the overpriced Lush facial come off easier. Clear skin calls for a natural remedies that will prep and the mixture to really soak in. Rinse to us! Regina’s notorious Kalteen bars masks, and go for something even happy summer! prime you for summer. However its and voilà! You’ll be as crusted and from Sweden are actually meant to more natural! Start with getting a EAT PIZZA CRUST FOR BOUNCING, safe to say none of these will actu- dusted as Trump himself! “burn up all those carbs!” So if you simple solo brand cup, and use it to CURLY HAIR ally work because HAPPY APRIL KALTEEN BARS ACTUALLY WORK! really want to lose those three lbs., go into your garden to shovel three You will need: FOOL’S DAY! ‘ (U.S.)’ is getting a reboot, but there’s a catch Attention all fanatics of ‘The Office’ — the day has finally arrived, and your prayers have been answered.

By Jenny Lam Andre, creator and host of “The Eric ful of them from the cast of the popu- being able to look past the decision of to return as writers, with new additions A&E Columnist Andre Show” on . lar rom-com “Crazy Rich Asians.” re-casting the same people and open- to the writing team such as Michael “I mean, he’s certainly not a mod- “I was honestly shocked about the ing up the roles to newer and more Cera, James Franco and . Since last year, rumors have been el boss [Michael Scott],” said Carell. casting — I couldn’t believe they all diverse actors — especially to those “It’s not going to be exactly the circulating about a reboot when “The “A lot of what is depicted on that show agreed to it,” said Krasinski, who por- who aren’t typically visible in main- same, obviously, but it’s better than Office” cast reunited on “Saturday Night is completely wrong-minded. That’s trayed throughout the stream media. nothing,” said Rogen. Live” to beg Steve Carell to reprise his the point, you know? But I just know original series. “There are a few big Aside from all the changes in cast- Disclaimer: Sorry to get your hopes role as Michael Scott. While this may that he [Andre] is perfect for the part, names in there that we haven’t heard ing, most of the original writers are up, but this is an April Fool’s joke. have seemed to be just another “SNL” the role suits him.” from in years, some I thought were here to stay. Ricky Gervais, Michael However, if you’re a producer or direc- skit at the time, it turns out that our has also confirmed that the dead. But I love the idea [of the reboot] Schur (Dwight’s cousin Mose), Kaling, tor interested in this idea, email me at favorite mockumentary series is back, tenth season has replaced the entire and I’m looking forward to it.” Novak, and Lieberstein have all agreed [email protected] and let’s talk. subtly announcing via Twitter that “The cast — except for Kaling, who will re- Considering what a staple many of Office” is officially rebooting in summer main as . Old faces from the old faces were to the fictional pa- 2019. However, there’s a catch. the original series have been replaced per company of , it’s Executive producer Howard Klein by well-known Asian actors — a hand- truly a step forward for Hollywood and showrunner Greg Daniels have made a few changes to the workplace NEW CAST comedy. Daniels and Klein appeared on “Good Morning America” on MEMBERS March 18, where they explained their * * * * * * * * * * * * * commitment to fixing Hollywood’s ERIC ANDRE AS MICHAEL SCOTT diversity problem — starting with the RANDALL PARK AS JIM HALPERT critically acclaimed series “The Office” AS — where 90 percent of its original cast KEN JEONG AS were played by white actors. SANDRA OH AS Netflix has recently released a state- JOHN CHO AS ment on March 17 about the series MINDY KALING AS KELLY KAPOOR reboot — as they have secured full RYAN HIGA AS production rights for a tenth season, JIMMY O. YANG AS which will only be available to stream JACKIE CHAN AS exclusively on Netflix. There’s no official MARGARET CHO AS AWKWAFINA AS release date yet, as they are still filming. NICO SANTOS AS OSCAR MARTINEZ Carell has also broken the news AS TOBY FLENDER about the reboot via Twitter, introduc- JAMES HONG AS CREED BRATTON ing the new man who will take on his COURTESY OF NETFLIX.COM BRENDA SONG AS ERIN HANNON legendary role as Michael Scott — Eric This is a dream come true for Asian-Americans.