Because I Hate Korea

Chang Kang-Myoung translation by Stephen J. Epstein and Mi Young Kim with an introduction by Stephen J. Epstein

Abstract: Chang Kang-myoung’s provocatively also subject to ongoing fluctuations, had titled novel Because I Hate Korea (Han’gugi reached its highest level in seven years by the sireoseo) became a best-seller in 2015 and end of 2017. It has thus been tempting, even is among the most notable literary works to amidst the precariousness caused by the address rampant dissatisfaction amongvolatile standoff between North Korea and the South Korean millennials. In recent years, Trump administration, to see improvements in Chang, a former journalist (b. 1975), has the collective national mood of South Korea, a developed a reputation for adroit and prolific country that has languished in palpable malaise fictionalized expressions of local discontent. in recent years, especially after the sinking of Because I Hate Korea reflects a pervasive the Sewol ferry. Nonetheless, intractable desire on the part of the nation’s younger problems of social and economic structure people to escape from “Hell Joseon,” a coinage remain and are keenly felt, above all by the that has attained widespread circulation. This nation’s youth: the unemployment rate for piece briefly introduces the novel, setting it those aged 15-29 stood at a record annual high within its wider contemporary context, and in 2017. If one includes the so-called then provides a translation of the first chapter. “sentiment unemployment rate,” that also takes into account those who have stopped the job search out of discouragement, those who only find part-time work, and those who have Key words: South Korea, Hell Joseon, Chang graduated from university and are awaiting the Kang-myoung, Korean fiction proper moment to go on the job market,the figure reached almost 23% last year.

Introduction Below is a translation by myself and Mi Young Kim of the first chapter of Chang Kang- Over the last year, many South Koreans have myoung’s provocatively titled novel Because I taken heart from resilient democraticHate Korea (Han’gugi sireoseo), one of the institutions that overcame the nation’smost notable literary works to address rampant protracted political crisis and confirmed the dissatisfaction among Korean millennials. In impeachment of the authoritarian, aloof, and recent years, Chang, a former journalist (b. corrupt Park Geun-hye. Her successor Moon 1975), has developed a reputation for adroit Jae-in has maintained impressive approval and prolific fictionalized expressions of local ratings throughout the first year of hisdiscontent. Because I Hate Korea became a presidency: despite occasional small dips, after best-seller in the country in 2015 and reflects a his successful April summit meeting with North pervasive desire on the part of the nation’s Korean leader Kim Jong Un, he was enjoying younger people to escape from “Hell Joseon,” a his highest ever levels of support. Similarly, coinage that has attained widespread Korea’s consumer confidence index, though circulation. Se-woong Koo neatly summarizes

1 16 | 11 | 4 APJ | JF salient features of this grim contemporary to leave.2 equivalent of the feudal Joseon Dynasty: “having to sacrifice youth for interminable Chang’s debut novel The Bleached (Pyobaek), education, the state and a job one does not for which he won the Hankyoreh Literary believe in; a narrow path to financial security Award in 2011, had accused South Korean and an even more narrowly defined path to society of forsaking its younger members and success; growing inequality and hereditary making suicide an option that is considered privileges of the haves; lack of social welfare seriously by far too many. Early on in that text that might cushion the fall to poverty; and elite Chang presents a lengthy list of neologisms corruption.”1 The term Hell Joseon has also applied to the current generation that use been accompanied by the rise of such memes single letters from the Roman alphabet, à la as the “spoon theory” that regards social status Generation X and Y, and characterize them by in contemporary Korea as inherited. The notion the challenging environment they face. Most that, for example, a “dirt spoon” (heulksujeo) damning and widespread is a meme that can never become a “gold spoon” (geumsujeo) depicts South Korea’s current youth as part of emphasizes a widespread belief thatthe N-po sedae (“the generation of giving up N- opportunities for mobility have been closed off. items,”) where N is commonly 3, 5, or 7, and the items that must be discarded include such Gye-na, the protagonist ofBecause I Hate fundamental human desires as dating, marriage Korea, is a young woman who rejects the land and children. Chang takes a considered of her birth and moves to Australia to seek the approach in addressing the complex issues that happiness that has eluded her. Her frustrations have brought about such a state. exemplify the anxieties of life in a nation where neoliberal transformations have intersected in pernicious ways with a traditionally competitive mindset. Gye-na’s account critiques a dehumanizing corporate culture that has made Chang Kang-myoung appears as a it impossible for her to find fulfilment or spokesperson for young Koreans ca. economic security. Degrading work as a cog in 15:40. a corporate machine foists indignities upon her and the customers for whom she approves credit card purchases under a set of arbitrary Chang’s 2015 novella Fired (Albasaeng jareugi) guidelines. An inability to achieve a satisfying dwells on the uncomfortable conflict between a work/life balance, poor working conditions (and part-time worker who fights back against what even worse commuting conditions), and she perceives as unfair dismissal by the concerns about life after retirement all push supervisor through whose eyes readers view Gye-na to dream of life elsewhere. The success the situation. Fired shares features with of Because I Hate Korea strongly suggests that Because I Hate Korea in presenting a young the protagonist’s choice to pull up stakes female character unable to adapt to a resonated with a broad swath of the reading demoralizing contemporary work environment. public, as emigration or long-term travel has In the latter text, Chang extends readers’ become a coping mechanism: a recent survey ability to sympathize with subordinate workers from an employment portal shows that among by making Gye-na a protagonist who speaks in job seekers in their twenties as many as four- a first-person voice that renders her a vivid and fifths of those would move away from Korea if compelling representative of unhappy young given the opportunity; almost half of those Koreans; we become confidantes who hear Gye- surveyed said they were already making plans na’s story directly.

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At a company dinner early in the novel, Gye-na, than elsewhere. Similar issues facing youth can who has dreamed of retiring to provincial Jeju be found elsewhere in East Asia, including Island as an escape from Seoul, experiences an wealthy Singapore.4 The problem, however, is epiphany and realizes that if she is so unhappy that happiness is a subjective state; Gye-na’s in Korea she can move elsewhere. She notes a narrative offers a useful window into personally collective sense of being trapped and links her felt experience. In Chang’s framing, the lack of reflections to the cheery lyrics of the song value that Korean society places on those who “Bingo” (Bing’go) by the group Turtles. For do not succeed in rigidly prescribed terms Gye-na, the song’s popularity particularly causes widespread misery. Thus, although among men derives from its ability to offer Denney is quite right to note that the term Hell them false comfort about their hard lives. The Joseon may conjure its own reality and false cheeriness is placed in a harsh light, exacerbate self-defeating pessimism, most however, when she discovers that the group’s Koreans have long understood (and not a few, leader Turtleman, who gives his name to the like Gye-na, resist) the idea that individuals are chapter, has passed away under far less cheery positioned locally within a hierarchical pecking circumstances that spotlight Korea’s severe order that can treat status, success, and even economic environment. self-esteem as a zero-sum game.

The indignities associated with Korea’s socioeconomic pyramid are brought to life for “Bingo” by Turtles Gye-na when she endures an excruciating dinner with the parents of her boyfriend Ji- myeong, who ignore her at the table when she finally meets them for the first time. Gye-na As Steven Denney has noted on the Sino-NK lives in a poor section of Seoul north of the Han blog, the uncritical reproduction of the Hell River; her father is a building watchman and Joseon meme referred to above: her unambitious older sister works at Starbucks. Ji-myeong, on the other hand, lives in far wealthier Gangnam, south of the Han, “risks essentializing the hardships and his father is an academic at a Seoul faced by young South Koreans university. The social distance is intensified when, in fact, there is nothing because her boyfriend, in a well-meaning but particularly unique about, say, the condescending attempt to forestall awkward level of youth unemployment in the questions at the dinner, reveals Gye-na’s family country…comparatively speaking, background beforehand. His parents react to if any country can be said to be this information by snubbing Gye-na, treating going through hellish conditions, it her as if she is virtually invisible. Relationships probably isn’t South Korea. Try, that cross class barriers, especially with the instead: Greece, Spain, Italy, or male in the higher social position, are a cliché Portugal, and that’s just among the of Korean popular culture that go as far back as rich countries of the world.”3 The Tale of Chunhyang, but the trope here has a realistic cast by not serving to feed a fairy- Objectively speaking, Denney has a point. In tale ending, as often is the case, but rather interviews, Chang himself has acknowledged underlines the petty humiliations of daily life. that the calcification of the capitalist system is Gye-na, cynical but vulnerable, reacts to the by no means unique to South Korea and that slight with outrage. the slowing of growth there is no more severe

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In a passage at the novel’s climax, Gye-na she leaves a second time, however, the reader considers the extreme tendency toward ranking realizes that Gye-na does not hate Korea. in society around her. In her analysis, not only Rather, she feels hurt by the lack of do students create elaborate hierarchies among compassion society shows for her and those universities based on reputation and location, like her; her decision to pursue goals in a wider but even at Seoul National University, the world derives from strength and maturity. nation’s most elite institution, students draw distinctions depending on faculty of study and high school attended, and thus resentments fester. For her, regular confrontation with Chapter One - Turtleman disrespect because of one’s position in this I officially broke up with Ji-myeong at Incheon social food chain drives unhappiness. The Airport the day I left for Australia. We didn’t sardonic, fast-moving narrative ofBecause I have a car between the five of us in my Hate Korea steers clear of self-pity but pathetically poor family, so Ji-myeong borrowed emphasizes that, in contrast to Korea, his dad’s and gave us a lift. Getting my huge, Australian blue-collar workers and manual floppy bag and trunk to the airport would’ve laborers are not treated as “losers.”5 been a complete hassle without him. Gye-na winds up experimenting with various I sat in the passenger seat next to Ji-myeong, jobs in Australia. She also experiments in her my mom and dad were in the back, and the relationships with men, and multicultural baggage was stuffed in the boot. Such was my Australia proves a useful setting for reflections awkward farewell to Korea. Mom kept up a on how South Korea positions itself in national running monologue from behind. “Gye-na, if it hierarchies: Gye-na dates a white Australian gets too hard, come home, take good care of and an Indonesian and notes the discrepant yourself, don’t scrimp on food just to save impact on her relationships with other Koreans money.” She repeated the same things over and in the local community. She also notes how over. hierarchies and enmities develop in Australia among Koreans between permanent residents, At check-in I ran into a problem with going international students and those on working over the weight allowance. I had to open my holiday visas, and highlights the precarity of bag and remove a few books buried at the 6 the latter group. bottom. Dad tied them in his windbreaker like he was wrapping up a bundle and held them to Despite the disquieting vision of South Korea his chest. outlined here, the novel lacks neither humor nor hope. Australia proves daunting in many “You’re going to come back, I know it. I’ll be ways, but Gye-na persists in her attempts to waiting for you.” Ji-myeong hugged me in front build a new life. Ultimately, Chang asks not so of the international departure area. My parents much what is a life well lived, as what sort of gawked at the spectacle from a few steps away. modest, happy existence can one carve out for oneself amidst the increasingly severe social I lifted my face from Ji-myeong’s cheek. I and economic constraints young Koreans already couldn’t stand him. Don’t give me that struggle with. Although Gye-na initially leaves crap. This is really goodbye. Official goodbye, I Korea because of the antipathy proclaimed in thought, and entered departures. the title, she returns to test whether she can commit to marriage with Ji-myeong, the most Before getting into the line for security, I took a admirable of all the men she dates. By the time quick look back. Mom was keeping up a

4 16 | 11 | 4 APJ | JF constant wave. Her eyes met mine, and she was to hold your ground, fight, and win. So, what saying something. I bet it was “If it gets too should I do? Close ranks with my fellow hard, come home, take good care of yourself, gazelles and face the lion? don’t scrimp on food just to save money.” Dad stooped forward, clutching the books he’d My period came on in full force when I was wrapped in the windbreaker. He looked sad. standing in front of immigration. I hesitated whether to head to the bathroom since I hated Ji-myeong stood crying at their side. to waste the time I’d spent in line. But in fact there wasn’t even an issue of hesitating. Why did I leave Korea? In short, I hate it. If you Something that felt like a raw oyster was want me to expand a bit, it’s because I can’t sliding right out of me. By the time I had a live here. Don’t get in my face about it, please. chance to check in the toilet, the crotch of my I can hate the country I was born in. Do you panties was already soaked through with blood. have a problem with that? It’s not like I said, I’d stowed a pad in my carry-on, but of course “Let’s kill all Koreans and burn the embassy no extra pair of panties. I dabbed away as much down.” I’m not agitating for a boycott or to blood as I could with toilet tissue and stuck the burn the flag. A lot of people would nod and pad on my underwear. I didn’t have any other say, “That’s using your brain,” if they met choice. Americans who hate their country or Japanese who are embarrassed about theirs. Right? It must have been stress that brought my period on early. Actually, I was already losing And why I can’t live here…I really don’t have my nerve on the plane. I couldn’t even what it takes to compete in Korea. I’m an understand the flight attendant’s English when animal that should be on the way to extinction. she asked, “Would you like something to I can’t deal with the cold, I can’t give my all for drink?” She repeated it three times and then anything, I didn’t get squat handed down to just handed me a Coke. me. But I’m still damn picky. I think about how far I have to commute, about easy access to To settle myself, I mentally rehearsed for cultural stuff, about the chance to develop in questioning: “What’s the purpose of your visit?” my job. “Is this your first time in Australia?” But the officer at immigration didn’t ask a thing. A look There’s this animal, Thomson’s gazelle. It at my passport, a look at my face, an insincere appears in documentaries about the African thank you, and my passport was back in my savannah and then gets eaten by lions. When hands. Not until I’d taken it and gone a few you see them, you know a lion is going to come steps did it occur to me he should have said along, and one of the gazelles for sure is going “Welcome” or “Have a nice day.” I muttered to jump out of some weird spot and get caught. softly to myself, “Have a nice day.” That’s me, the gazelle who is picked off. I don’t do what others do. Oh, over here it’s too shady, And so, seeping blood, I crossed the border. the gazelle thinks, or the grass is too tough, or whatever. Then it wanders away from the herd My oversized bag was practically about to and becomes a target. burst. I tried to haul it down from the luggage carousel but couldn’t manage in one go and I’m that gazelle, and I don’t have it in me to almost got dragged up on to the belt with it. freeze when the lion shows up. I have to run The wheels on that huge, floppy sack of mine away as fast as I can. That’s why I left Korea. sounded as loud as thunder.

I know it’s more attractive not to run away but I was going to take out a pair of panties and

5 16 | 11 | 4 APJ | JF change in the bathroom, but it was impossible. able to afford a health club. I’d have to head The trunk and bag were too big to bring into a outside to stretch and jog. Then I’d go borrow stall with me, and I didn’t have a companion to books from the library. I’d read lots and learn watch them. No choice but to go through how to play an instrument. Since I’d have customs in damp, bloodied underwear. I walked plenty of time, maybe I’d learn two. I’d be able on rehearsing the phrase “nothing to declare” to practice heaps with all that time. to myself. A customs officer pointed at my luggage: “Kimchi? No kimchi?” I’d want to raise vegetables like lettuce in a garden plot. Think about it. You water the The couple who ran the study abroad agency plants and reap the rewards. Wouldn’t it be came to meet me at the airport. I’d have been great? They say going back to a farming life is mortified to take out panties in front of them, hard, but that’s if you do it for a living. I’d be so in the end I just got in the car without bent over for, like, 20-30 minutes a day, changing. They brought me to a temporary working the soil a little, and that’d be it. How accommodation where I’d stay for a week, a hard could it be? And I wanted to learn how to two-story house with garden and garage. The swim and dart around in the water like a fish. houses, all clustered together with red-tile Cut turns in the pool and stay underwater for roofs, looked like a painting. as long as the Little Mermaid.

“Pretty, isn’t it? If you can’t find long-term I’d go up to Seoul once a year. I’d only visit housing, you’re welcome to stay here. I’ll drop once, so I’d be able to stay for a week and see the rent for you,” the chatty wife offered as she my family, buy stuff I needed, catch some got out of the car. I perked up a bit at last. shows, and meet friends. And after all that, I’d die when I reached 60. What’d be the point of But she didn’t go in through the front gate. stretching it out longer? Ten years of such a life Instead she opened a door to the small garage would be enough. Consider this too: if you go at the side of the house. They’d remodelled it, through the hell of slaving away at a company, stuck a desk and bed inside and were renting it you can live comfortably from 60 to 80. But the as a studio apartment. Only after some time later you retire, the more money you need. As had gone by did I discover that what they you get older, your body breaks down and you charged for this makeshift lodging of theirs was have to go to the doctor. If you retire earlier, more than a night at a decent business hotel. you can feel more relaxed and be healthier.

Before I realized I needed to leave Korea, I Anyway, I made up my mind that I’d have to used to fantasize about how I’d retire around commit suicide when it was time to die. The age 50 and go live on Jeju-do. mere thought of living to 90 or 100 all frail and infirm terrifies me. Isn’t killing yourself at 80 I looked at it this way: I could take the money and at 60 the same thing? How about moving I’d saved and buy some scruffy apartment down retirement up five years? You could have 10 on the island. I’d live by a schedule, getting up comfortable years after 45 and check out at 55. and going to bed at a regular time. I’d cook at What a thing of beauty that would be. home. To go along with my rice, I’d have only two or three plain side dishes, which I’d make Every day that I worked in Korea I found myself myself. If I felt like having chicken, I could have reduced to tears, more because of the commute chicken. I wouldn’t live like a monk orthan the job. Have you ever taken subway line anything. On a typical day, I’d have breakfast #2 in the morning from Ahyeon to Yeoksam via and read a little while sipping my morning Shindorim? Humanity and dignity? When coffee, then go run by the beach. I wouldn’t be you’re fighting for survival you come to realize

6 16 | 11 | 4 APJ | JF at a gut level that humanity and dignity are a career long term. I just considered it important bonus. to have a steady income and not be lazing around. From Shindorim to Sadang you’re so jammed in that your bones practically ache. Every time I I worked in the card division, with the so-called rode line #2, I’d wonder what sin I’d committed “approval analytics specialists” of the credit in a past life to deserve this fate. Betray my logistics team. W Comprehensive Financial had country? Engage in insurance fraud? I’d look at partnered with an overseas corporation and those around me and wonder, “So, what was issued credit cards. They were well-known your crime?” among the rich because in return for the high annual fee, they provided a card without a People who tell women to make more babies credit limit. need to give line #2 at rush hour a try. A few trips from Shindorim to Sadang, and they’d Actually, though, that was bullshit. There was a shut their yaps right up. But people who limit—the customers just didn’t know what complain about the low birth rate aren’t likely theirs was. If all of a sudden somebody wanted to be riding the subway. to make a really big purchase, our team had to decide whether to allow the transaction, and The company I worked at was called W fast. Not all purchases came our way—small Comprehensive Financial when I was there. amounts were approved automatically by After I’d been rejected by all the usual big computer. But if somebody who spent around corporations, I’d applied more or less randomly 500,000 won a month suddenly wanted to buy a and got hired. Later the firm changed its name ten million won diamond, the computer sent us to W Securities. Yep, the W Securities of the the transaction. At the point of sale, they’d scandal that drove a bunch of employees to explain to the card holder, “Oh, your suicide. That company. transaction is taking longer than expected; please wait a moment.” If it took too long, the A lot of friends asked me how I landed a job in customer would either fish out another card or finance without a relevant degree. I don’t know leave in embarrassment. how I did it either. None of us knows why we were picked or passed over. Could be that We had to decide within five minutes whether bosses mostly just look at the applicants’ faces to approve transactions the system sent us. The and decide. problem was that we didn’t have a manual on how to decide. It was totally subjective. There The name W Comprehensive Financial might were a lot of factors to consider. For example, a make it sound like the company belonged to the purchase might be turned down for somebody world of high finance, but it had a lousy who wasn’t working but be acceptable for a reputation and they paid crap wages. For doctor. We’d scan the record of late payments people keen to work in finance, maybe it and see if customers owned where they lived or ranked a tad above a mutual savings bank? I were leasing. Job, age, date of birth, address, was really grateful for the job, but honestly, my purchases approved in the previous month, the talents leave me about as special as a paving store they were in, and what they wanted to stone. I had nothing to be proud of. buy all showed up on our screens automatically. If the store was near the Still, being hired straight after graduation was Gangwon Casino and the purchase was gold or a relief. If I hadn’t landed the position, I’d have a car, I wasn’t allowed to make the decision. I taken a job anywhere. And my life might have had to forward those cases to a supervisor. been different. Not once did I think about my

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Not until a transaction was declined did transaction history. All I had to do was put their customers realize that their card actually had a name into the system and, poof, up popped limit. There’d be a protest, which would go in their personal information. I’d search the first instance to the call centre. If that entertainers’ real names on Naver and see explanation didn’t do the trick, the call came what I could find out. “Hey, now check her out. over to us. Those conversations were really Wow, she’s sure into spending money.” “Oh, tough. Most people were furious and would XXX favours that luxury brand. That’s the demand to know how a transaction could be make-up that XXX uses. XXX went to a hostess turned down if there was no limit on the card. bar the day before his wedding, XXX stayed in a We’d come up with a story about some special love hotel a few days ago.” “Hmm, every one of circumstance, like how the customer had a these purchases is for women’s products. record of a late payment two years ago, and What’s all that about? Did he get himself a that after a certain period passed unlimited use girlfriend now?” would be possible. Usually we couldn’t win over the customer even with those sorts ofI worked there for just over three years. Every explanations. Some people got really nasty, and day I felt an increasing urge to flee. some of them cussed us out. First of all, there was no challenge in the work I felt like my brain was on automatic when I itself. It didn’t seem like a promotion was in the was at work. Even if I was just a cog in the offing, and it wasn’t the kind of job that’d make organization machinery, it’d have been nice to you say, “It’s hard but interesting.” And it sure know where my cog fit, how it turned and what wasn’t as if they paid a great salary. direction we were moving in. I had no idea what kind of work I was doing and why, or But the firm was large and people occasionally what my company really did. Maybe I was all did get to move to a different department after confused. Actually, no. I didn’t even try to find a stint in approvals. I looked forward to out. It was kind of like being a high school something along those lines. After two years or student. so I asked to be transferred and got an encouraging response. But several months So, of course, work was dull. I had no concept went by and still no transfer came. Just because of what stimulating work meant. “What kind of I asked didn’t mean it would happen, I realized. job interests you?” The question was pointless to me. I hated hearing customers complain. I I approached my team leader for the transfer. I had no affection for the company, and would sit was vague about where I wanted to be sent. I there looking grumpy. Looking back, the people realize in retrospect that I hadn’t said I wanted I worked with were all really nice. New to go to a particular unit and that I didn’t know employees are supposed to act sweet and either what other teams did or what I’d have approach more senior co-workers first. But I wanted to do. didn’t strike up conversation with anyone He responded by saying, “Gye-na, approvals is unless I was asked a question. When I think a good area for women. But if you want to go to about it now, the idea that people would join the sales division, all you have to do is put up me around a lunch table amazes me. I could your hand and you can go any time. Would you easily have become an office outcast. like to join them?” There was one interesting thing. Since our card I said no. I found it hard enough to talk functioned as a status symbol, a lot of properly when I met new people. How could I entertainers used it, and I could look up their possibly do sales?

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The team leader continued, “Give it a little lunch without getting tired of it. Every day I’d more time. If a position opens up in human think “not again” but tag along anyway. I was resources or general affairs, you’ll be the first totally sick of stew. Changing to the night shift one I recommend.” meant I could eat what I wanted. I’d just pack a meal for myself or have something delivered. But that didn’t happen. Later, when I said I was preparing a resignation letter, the team leader That said, working at night definitely had a called me and bought me a nice barbeque downside. Finance companies have all these dinner, pork belly and pork neck, hoping to indoctrination programs, you know, shouting persuade me to hold out for a couple more slogans and so on. They do all that stuff during months. If somebody under him resigned for no the day. Having to attend those sessions reason, his evaluation for handling personnel regardless was like walking on the sidewalk would suffer. I remember him asking me to and still getting hit by a car. But if you get hit hang on until his review was over. At this point, by a car and break an arm or a leg, you at least I think I could have held on longer, but back get some recovery time, right? then what ran through my head was “Why? You didn’t listen to anything I said.” So, I brushed It was during a company dinner to relax after him off and gave a flat no. If I could do it over one of our team-building exercises that I first again, I’d have stayed another two or three had the thought that I needed to leave Korea months. A good evaluation was important for rather than just go to Jeju-do. him in his own way. Most employees in approvals were women, Well, my whining at least got them to change maybe 15 or 16 out of a total of 20. But that my work schedule. There were day shifts and day at the company dinner the team leader night shifts. Working nights could be hard on kept making risqué jokes, maybe thinking he you physically but it had its advantages. First of could score some points with his staff. A few all, there weren’t as many transactions going hours before, a lecturer from outside the on, so things were low stress. And if you company had had us draw charts showing how worked nights you didn’t need to worry about a much we trusted our co-workers. The team uniform. That was all really positive. I’d just go leader was caught out not trusting those of us to work in jeans and sneakers. There was under him at all. He looked really sheepish. plenty of time to study. I should have studied accounting. But back then what did I know The team leader’s previous position had been about the value of accounting? I was stupid. managing the ladies who sold the credit cards. He’d picked up lots of suggestive lines Something else nice about working nights was somewhere. Do the women who handle card that at that point I was still sleeping in the sales like off-colour jokes? We weren’t sure same room with my older sister Hye-na and whether to treat his innuendo as sexual younger sister Ye-na. You can imagine what a harassment or not. Since the atmosphere pain it was for three grown women to share a moved into iffy territory and we wanted to room. But working nights meant I had the room avoid having him go overboard, we hastily to myself when I slept. Another good thing was wrapped up that first round and headed to a that running errands like going to the bank and karaoke club for round two. shopping became a snap. All those benefits were awesome. One of the few male workers in the group took the mike and sang “Confession.” Oh, yeah, another one. A lot of people eat kimchi stew or bean paste stew every day for “Don’t the lyrics seem like they’re from a wife’s

9 16 | 11 | 4 APJ | JF lover to the husband asking to be forgiven? ‘I Australia, Korean international students usually know it’s not my place, pardon me for daring to rent a house and live together in a group of ten want her’ ‘Forgive me, if you want to punish or so, three to a room. They call it a “chicken me, I’ll accept it.’ “ coop share.”

A woman sitting next to me who was a junior of “Gye-na, did you hear? Turtleman passed mine in the company asked why guys were away.” The girl in the bed next to mine spoke really into that song. I found her question so up. She was lying on her stomach and surfing funny that I snorted out my mouthful of beer. the net on her laptop. For the next tune, the team leader chose “Bingo,” another favourite of the men. Some “Turtleman? Who’s Turtleman?” women who were veterans followed him on stage to help him keep face. “Turtleman. Don’t you know the song? ‘Here I am again! Feeling really good! Going to sing a “Fighting spirit! If I begin again! I’ll be master song, one two three four!’ “ of my fate!” “That’s ‘Bingo.’ The singer’s name was I wondered whether I should get up and join Turtleman? Wasn’t it Turtle?” The other girl them too but stayed put. I didn’t want to seem raised her head and joined the conversation. indifferent to it all, though, so I shook a tambourine as I sat and sang along. “The group’s name was Turtles—the lead vocalist was called Turtleman. Anyway, he “I love the land where I live! I’ve never thought died.” to leave!” “What happened?” The other girl and I asked I felt like I understood why the lyrics of at the same time. The girl with the laptop, “Confession” appealed to younger guys. They excited to have drawn our attention to the news must be frustrated that pretty women didn’t she’d read, kept feeding us details. That give them a second glance. They struggle over Turtleman had died at home from chronic heart how to deal with their frustration and choose to disease, hardening of the arteries. That screw themselves up. But that’s better than treatment had cost so much he died in poverty. bitching about a woman being high-That a financial dispute with his management maintenance or whatever because of sour led him to set up his own agency. That it hadn’t grapes. gone well and the ensuing debts forced him to work as an assistant to other entertainers. Middle-aged men sang “Bingo” because life is really hard for them. They all hate Korea so “And his songs were so cheerful…” The girl much that they secretly dream of leaving. But with the bed furthest on the outside was they’re forced to deny it and want to hypnotize dismayed. themselves into believing otherwise. “It all depends on your attitude.” “Coasting along in As the girl in the middle went on about what life is boring.” But then the thought hit me: happened to Turtleman, I ran through the lyrics what’s so wrong with leaving? of “Bingo” in my head. I think the song ended, “Hope I’m smiling when I draw my final A few years later in Australia I heard news breath.” I wondered whether Turtleman was about the singer of “Bingo.” I was sharing a smiling as his eyes closed for the last time. room with two other women at the time. Given Probably not. the shortage of studio apartments and dorms in

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Around that time came another piece of news thought that if I’d stayed in Korea and kept that was as personally shocking for me as working at W Comprehensive Financial, I might Turtleman’s death. A few employees at W have wound up fobbing off those dodgy notes Securities had killed themselves. In a suicide myself. As foreign credit cards expanded into note, one of them had written to the CEO: “Sir, Korea, their card division had gone under. you can’t do this. Please give the money back to That’s why the company changed its name to W my clients.” Securities. I’d heard that most people in the card division had been transferred to stock As the W Group’s fortunes declined, they’d sales. imposed quotas on the employees in the securities division. They claimed thatIf I’d stayed in Korea, could I have resisted the everything was sound and had the employees turning of that huge cogwheel? I doubt it…. sell promissory notes for subsidiary companies’ stock. But that was more bullshit. Several 한국이 싫어서 by 장강명 months later those companies went bankrupt. BECAUSE I HATE KOREA by Chang Kang- They had turned their employees intomyoung swindlers. Is that the behaviour of crooks or Copyright © Chang Kang-myoung 2015 what? All rights reserved. Originally published in Korea by Minumsa What really shocked me, though, was the Publishing Co., Ltd., Seoul.

Stephen J. Epstein is the Director of the Asian Languages and Cultures Programme at Victoria University of Wellington in New Zealand, and served as the 2013-14 President of the New Zealand Asian Studies Society. He has published widely on contemporary Korean society, literature and popular culture and translated numerous pieces of Korean and Indonesian fiction, including Who Ate Up All The Shinga? by Park Wan-suh (Columbia University Press, 2009), The Long Road by Kim In-suk (MerwinAsia, 2010) Telegram by Putu Wijaya (Lontar Foundation, 2011), and Apple and Knife by Intan Paramaditha (Brow Books, 2018). He has also co-produced two documentaries on the Korean indie music scene, Us & Them: Korean Indie Rock in a K-pop world (2014) and Our Nation: A Korean Punk Rock Community (2002), and co-edited Complicated Currents: Media Flows, Soft Power and East Asia (Monash University Publications, 2010) and The Korean Wave: A Sourcebook (Academy of Korean Studies Press, 2016).

Mi Young Kim holds an MA in Applied Linguistics from the Victoria University of Wellington and a graduate diploma in Teaching Korean as a Foreign Language from Seoul National University. She currently teaches Korean at Victoria University's Centre for Lifelong Learning and is the principal of the New Zealand Korean School of Wellington. With Stephen Epstein, she co-translated the novel Contradictions by Yang Gwi-ja and short stories by Park Wan-suh, Kim Dong-in and Kim In-suk.

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Notes

1 See here. 2 See, e.g., NateNews, (2016), “Han’gugin 80% ‘Imingago sipda’…wae?” (80% of Koreans want to emigrate…why?”; Korea Times, (2016), “Koreans Want to Leave ‘Hell Joseon’.”; Korea Times, (2016). “Koreans Are Leaving Korea,”; and Lee, Minyoung (2016), “Hel Joseon talchulloseo-ui janggi yeohaeng: indo-ui hangugin janggi yohaengjareuleul jungshimeuro” (Long-term Travel as ‘Escape from Hell-Joseon’: A Study of Long-term Korean Travelers in India”), Bigyo munhwa yeongu 22.2: 291-328. 3 Denney, Steven, 2016. “Yongusil 82: Not So Hellish After All,” . 4 Kotkin, Joel. 2016. “Singapore’s Midlife Crisis,” 5 Cf. the similar point made by informants in New Zealand in Kitchen, Margaret, (2014), “Korean Migration: The First Reason for Coming to New Zealand is Adventure,” New Zealand Population Review 40: 111-126. 6 On the precarity of young Koreans on working holiday visas, see Chun, Jennifer Jihye and Ju Hui Judy Han, (2015), “Language Travels and Global Aspirations of Korean Youth,” positions: asia critique 23.3: 565-593.