Feb 2020 Lifeline
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I am responsi- ble when any- FEBRUARY 2020 Volume 44, No. 2 one, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there, and for that I am respon- sible. life·line | \ ˈlīf-ˌlīn : 1. A rope or line used for life-saving, typically one thrown to rescue someone in difficulties in water. 2. A thing on which someone depends for a means of escape from a difficult situation. https://en.oxforddictionaries.com One size does not fit all for this Without a Higher Power: atheist in recovery ~ This atheist “walked into our midst,” and stayed. ety without any belief in a personal Higher Power.” That At the age of 52, I attended my very first AA meeting includes me. on Oct. 7, 2001. I have not found it necessary to take a In an article published in the April 1961 edition of single drink since. Were it not for AA it’s likely I would the Grapevine (reprinted in “The Best of Bill”), Bill W. never have put together one continuous week of sobrie- laments: “Though 300,000 have recovered in the last 25 ty. years, maybe half a million more have walked into our Finding all the “God stuff” in the Twelve Steps a bit midst, and then out again. We can’t well content our- hard to swallow, I immediately latched onto Tradition selves with the view that all these recovery failures were Three, which states, “The only requirement for AA mem- entirely the fault of the newcomers themselves. Perhaps bership is a desire to stop drinking.” a great many didn’t receive the kind and amount of I also had the good fortune of stumbling across a sponsorship they so sorely needed.” I certainly know Twelve Step study during my first week of recovery. It what that’s like! I ended up firing two sponsors in my has been my home group ever since. That was where first three months of recovery. The first one dogmatically someone drew my attention to the chapter on Step Two insisted that I absolutely had to turn my will and my life in the “Twelve and Twelve” where it states, “First, Alco- over to the care of some kind of Higher Power if I want- holics Anonymous does not demand that you believe ed to stay sober long. My second sponsor relapsed. anything. All of its Twelve Steps are but suggestions.” Unfortunately, sponsors who actually follow the ex- I also learned in my home group about a fellow cellent suggestions outlined in “Questions & Answers on called “Ed” in the essay on Tradition Three in the Sponsorship” seem to be about as rare as four-leaf clo- “Twelve and Twelve.” His real name was vers. I ended up without a sponsor for 15 Jimmy B. One of the pioneering mem- months before hooking up with my cur- bers of the New York group, Jimmy B. rent sponsor. By then I had made a lot of was apparently the first diehard atheist to progress working a personalized program find lasting recovery in AA. His personal of recovery I had designed for myself, story eventually made it into the Second one that makes absolutely no reference Edition of the Big Book as “The Vicious to any kind of “Higher Power” concept – Cycle.” An internet search turns up lots not even using my home group or AA as of interesting information about Jim. He a whole as a substitute for God. My new is my personal AA hero. (Editor’s Note: sponsor’s first official advice to me was, read about him here on AA Agnosti- “Whatever you’ve been doing is obviously ca: Jim Burwell.) working well for you, so let’s not try to ‘fix’ Eventually I also discovered the it.” After years of studying the Twelve pamphlet “Questions & Answers on Steps in my home group and discussing Sponsorship” where, much to my relief, it them with my sponsor, I now understand points out that “some alcoholics have why faith in “God as we understood Him” been able to achieve and maintain sobri- was so vitally important to Bill W. (continued on page 2) SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org (Without a Higher Power) and most of the AA pioneers. I now have a dozen sponsees of my own. Four of As clearly explained by Dr. Harry Tiebout in the ap- them, like me, are atheists who have absolutely no use pendix of the book Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of for the Higher Power concept. Two of those have al- Age, they nearly all suffered from some form of narcis- ready enjoyed over four years of continuous sobriety. sism. Their narcissism had effectively blocked their re- Obviously I do not insist that my sponsees must all covery from alcoholism and eventually turned them into work the same program of recovery, nor do I tutor them low-bottom drunks of the “hopeless variety.” in the program of recovery I designed to address my The obvious cure for rampant narcissism and gran- own issues – “defects of character,” if you wish. Instead, diosity is greater humility; and as it says in the essay on I encourage each of them to follow my example by iden- Step Seven in the “Twelve and Twelve,” “the attainment tifying their own issues, and then working a deliberate, of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of systematic, active program of recovery designed by AA’s Twelve Steps.” themselves, for themselves, to directly address their is- However, as Dr. Silkworth points out in “The Doc- sues. tor’s Opinion,” “The classification of alcoholics seems Over the years I have endured a lot of criticism from most difficult.” Ultimately, he tells us, all alcoholics “have other AAs for my unorthodox beliefs, especially for my one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking refusal to endorse the Twelve Steps as a perfect one- without developing the phenomenon of craving.” That size-fits-all program of recovery for every alcoholic. But certainly describes me. All of us do have issues of our if Bill W. were alive today, I’m sure he would approve. own that we need to deal with if we are to stay both so- As he suggested in the long form of Tradition Three, ber and happy, often issues that “the attainment of “Our membership ought to include all who suffer from greater humility” simply will not touch. alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to re- The program of recovery I work directly addresses cover.” my issues. The only person in the world it needs to work That certainly includes me. My fondest hope is that for is me, and it does that very, very well. Today I am not if enough others follow my example, someday it will in- only sober, I am far happier than I had ever dreamed it clude millions more like me who previously might have was possible for me to be. “walked into our midst, and then out again.” Greg H., San Diego, CA https://aaagnostica.org/2012/11/25/without-a-higher-power/ "While in treat- ment I was hit with divorce pa- Valentine's Day in Detox pers—on February 14th to be exact." I'm coming up on holics Anonymous is the greatest sense to me. The more time that I a year now and I thing for ego-driven people. You bring get, I start to remember the day more will tell you, it has me down to size every time I sit down and more. I have even had dreams of been fun. I've in a meeting. I'm very grateful for that. it, but things are still a little foggy at heard a lot of people on annual birth- On February 9, 2008 around 5:30 times. day nights say, "This has been a real in the afternoon, I was arrested out- Getting out of jail the following hard year for me!" And maybe it has, side my home in front of my family morning, things became very clear to but for me it has been a wonderful and not to mention all the people on me. I thought to myself, "You have journey. my street and all the people who really done it this time." No one was A lot of things have changed since drove by. I remember very little about there to get me and no one would an- February 11, 2008 and it started with that day just bits and pieces. I do re- swer the phone calls. As the day pro- me—was I willing to go to any length? member that I was very drunk, very gressed, I finally got hold of my boss I can honestly say to you, "yes." We angry, and very mean—I wish I could at my job. He too was fed up, and as don't care for change too much and forget the whole damn day but I can- we talked he kept hinting about the this drunk was no different. When I not. A lady once told me that, "If you fact that I needed help and if I didn't got here I was perfect. Little did I can't remember your last drunk, you get any help, that my time with the know, I was actually far from it. Alco- probably haven't had it yet." Makes company was over too. (continued on page 4) SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 2 SMIA: A Vision of Hope for the New Decade.