I am responsi- ble when any- FEBRUARY 2020 Volume 44, No. 2 one, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there, and for that I am respon- sible.

life·line | \ ˈlīf-ˌlīn : 1. A rope or line used for life-saving, typically one thrown to rescue someone in difficulties in water. 2. A thing on which someone depends for a means of escape from a difficult situation. https://en.oxforddictionaries.com One size does not fit all for this Without a : atheist in recovery ~

This atheist “walked into our midst,” and stayed. ety without any belief in a personal Higher Power.” That At the age of 52, I attended my very first AA meeting includes me. on Oct. 7, 2001. I have not found it necessary to take a In an article published in the April 1961 edition of single drink since. Were it not for AA it’s likely I would the Grapevine (reprinted in “The Best of Bill”), Bill W. never have put together one continuous week of sobrie- laments: “Though 300,000 have recovered in the last 25 ty. years, maybe half a million more have walked into our Finding all the “God stuff” in the Twelve Steps a bit midst, and then out again. . . . We can’t well content our- hard to swallow, I immediately latched onto Tradition selves with the view that all these recovery failures were Three, which states, “The only requirement for AA mem- entirely the fault of the newcomers themselves. Perhaps bership is a desire to stop drinking.” a great many didn’t receive the kind and amount of I also had the good fortune of stumbling across a sponsorship they so sorely needed.” I certainly know Twelve Step study during my first week of recovery. It what that’s like! I ended up firing two sponsors in my has been my home group ever since. That was where first three months of recovery. The first one dogmatically someone drew my attention to the chapter on Step Two insisted that I absolutely had to turn my will and my life in the “Twelve and Twelve” where it states, “First, Alco- over to the care of some kind of Higher Power if I want- holics Anonymous does not demand that you believe ed to stay sober long. My second sponsor relapsed. anything. All of its Twelve Steps are but suggestions.” Unfortunately, sponsors who actually follow the ex- I also learned in my home group about a fellow cellent suggestions outlined in “Questions & Answers on called “Ed” in the essay on Tradition Three in the Sponsorship” seem to be about as rare as four-leaf clo- “Twelve and Twelve.” His real name was vers. I ended up without a sponsor for 15 Jimmy B. One of the pioneering mem- months before hooking up with my cur- bers of the group, Jimmy B. rent sponsor. By then I had made a lot of was apparently the first diehard atheist to progress working a personalized program find lasting recovery in AA. His personal of recovery I had designed for myself, story eventually made it into the Second one that makes absolutely no reference Edition of the Big Book as “The Vicious to any kind of “Higher Power” concept – Cycle.” An internet search turns up lots not even using my home group or AA as of interesting information about Jim. He a whole as a substitute for God. My new is my personal AA hero. (Editor’s Note: sponsor’s first official advice to me was, read about him here on AA Agnosti- “Whatever you’ve been doing is obviously ca: Jim Burwell.) working well for you, so let’s not try to ‘fix’ Eventually I also discovered the it.” After years of studying the Twelve pamphlet “Questions & Answers on Steps in my home group and discussing Sponsorship” where, much to my relief, it them with my sponsor, I now understand points out that “some alcoholics have why faith in “God as we understood Him” been able to achieve and maintain sobri- was so vitally important to Bill W. (continued on page 2)

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org (Without a Higher Power) and most of the AA pioneers. I now have a dozen sponsees of my own. Four of As clearly explained by Dr. Harry Tiebout in the ap- them, like me, are atheists who have absolutely no use pendix of the book Comes of for the Higher Power concept. Two of those have al- Age, they nearly all suffered from some form of narcis- ready enjoyed over four years of continuous sobriety. sism. Their narcissism had effectively blocked their re- Obviously I do not insist that my sponsees must all covery from and eventually turned them into work the same program of recovery, nor do I tutor them low-bottom drunks of the “hopeless variety.” in the program of recovery I designed to address my The obvious cure for rampant narcissism and gran- own issues – “defects of character,” if you wish. Instead, diosity is greater humility; and as it says in the essay on I encourage each of them to follow my example by iden- Step Seven in the “Twelve and Twelve,” “the attainment tifying their own issues, and then working a deliberate, of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of systematic, active program of recovery designed by AA’s Twelve Steps.” themselves, for themselves, to directly address their is- However, as Dr. Silkworth points out in “The Doc- sues. tor’s Opinion,” “The classification of alcoholics seems Over the years I have endured a lot of criticism from most difficult.” Ultimately, he tells us, all alcoholics “have other AAs for my unorthodox beliefs, especially for my one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking refusal to endorse the Twelve Steps as a perfect one- without developing the phenomenon of craving.” That size-fits-all program of recovery for every alcoholic. But certainly describes me. All of us do have issues of our if Bill W. were alive today, I’m sure he would approve. own that we need to deal with if we are to stay both so- As he suggested in the long form of Tradition Three, ber and happy, often issues that “the attainment of “Our membership ought to include all who suffer from greater humility” simply will not touch. alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to re- The program of recovery I work directly addresses cover.” my issues. The only person in the world it needs to work That certainly includes me. My fondest hope is that for is me, and it does that very, very well. Today I am not if enough others follow my example, someday it will in- only sober, I am far happier than I had ever dreamed it clude millions more like me who previously might have was possible for me to be. “walked into our midst, and then out again.” Greg H., San Diego, CA https://aaagnostica.org/2012/11/25/without-a-higher-power/

"While in treat- ment I was hit with divorce pa- Valentine's Day in Detox pers—on February 14th to be exact." I'm coming up on holics Anonymous is the greatest sense to me. The more time that I a year now and I thing for ego-driven people. You bring get, I start to remember the day more will tell you, it has me down to size every time I sit down and more. I have even had dreams of been fun. I've in a meeting. I'm very grateful for that. it, but things are still a little foggy at heard a lot of people on annual birth- On February 9, 2008 around 5:30 times. day nights say, "This has been a real in the afternoon, I was arrested out- Getting out of jail the following hard year for me!" And maybe it has, side my home in front of my family morning, things became very clear to but for me it has been a wonderful and not to mention all the people on me. I thought to myself, "You have journey. my street and all the people who really done it this time." No one was A lot of things have changed since drove by. I remember very little about there to get me and no one would an- February 11, 2008 and it started with that day just bits and pieces. I do re- swer the phone calls. As the day pro- me—was I willing to go to any length? member that I was very drunk, very gressed, I finally got hold of my boss I can honestly say to you, "yes." We angry, and very mean—I wish I could at my job. He too was fed up, and as don't care for change too much and forget the whole damn day but I can- we talked he kept hinting about the this drunk was no different. When I not. A lady once told me that, "If you fact that I needed help and if I didn't got here I was perfect. Little did I can't remember your last drunk, you get any help, that my time with the know, I was actually far from it. Alco- probably haven't had it yet." Makes company was over too. (continued on page 4) SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 2 SMIA: A Vision of Hope for the New Decade.

A Message from the SMIA Chair:

“The essence of all growth is a willingness to make a change for the better and then an unremitting willing- ness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.” (As Bill Sees It, pg. 115)

Hello SMIA and our AA Community,

Shortly after the January 2020 SMIA Business meeting, Mt. Olive United Methodist Church (the current meeting location ) sent me a revised version of our rental agreement. In order for SMIA meetings to con- tinue there, the monthly rent will increase on February 1, 2020. The current rate of $300.00 for three hours per month will increase to $450.00 per month, for the use of storage space (the two existing wall cabinets where we’ve always kept books and literature). As you know, SMIA is funded exclusively by group dona- tions, which often vary significantly due to changes in group attendance and 7th Tradition contributions. Therefore, $450.00 per month is not practical while many alternative locations exist in the tri-county ar- ea. Mt. Olive UM Church will also require that we sign a 2-year contract, which will lock us into the $450/ month rate, resulting in an annual expenditure of $5400. After discussion, the SMIA Officers agreed that we need a new meeting location. I met with community centers and churches in the Prince Frederick area for options near the current location; however, none were available that were able to meet our budget and logistics parameters. Therefore, it was necessary to expand the search beyond Prince Frederick and the District 1 area. Fortunately, I was able to secure a temporary space in District 36, at Immaculate Conception Church, 28297 Old Village Road, Mechan- icsville, MD 20659. This is a known location where our annual Gratitude Dinner is held. The church man- agement is very welcoming in hosting us and has been extremely generous with rental rates, which could ultimately save us up to 80% in annual rental costs. We will vote on this new location proposal at the SMIA meeting on February 15 at 10am. The meeting will take place in the building behind the church, which is the same location of the Gratitude Dinner and the “Basic Text Meeting”. Instead of entering through the main entrance, please enter on the far right side, through the door at the end of the building. About halfway down the main hall, turn right, go to the end of that hall, and the SMIA meeting and bookstall will be on the left. Please visit the bookstall for purchases from 9-10am, before the SMIA meeting begins. Directional signs will be posted throughout the hallways. In closing, a fundamental duty of the SMIA Board, and therefore mine as your Chair, is to ensure that prudent financial decisions will best serve the local Alcoholics Anonymous community. The SMIA Officers as Trusted Servants believe that this option is in the best interest of all, and we thank you for your patience and understanding in this matter. As always, we encourage all to attend SMIA meetings; your input is val- uable, your feedback is always appreciated, and your vote is needed. Please join us on February 15 as our fellowship moves forward together into 2020.

In Love and Service,

Pat Smith SMIA Chair, 2018-2020

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 3 (Valentines Day) I had been to treatment two times before. This would be the third time in five years that I would have to go through this again. How could I honestly think that this time was to be any different? I really was hope- less. I went through detox and treatment in West before and it didn't work. But I didn't give it any effort ei- ther. I wanted people to hand me the gift of sobriety. One of my character defects to this day is being lazy. It is something that I really have to work on a daily basis. I do a pretty good job at it, but it is tough at times. Progress my friends, just a little bit at a time. While in treatment I was hit with divorce papers—on February 14th to be ex- act. What a way to spend Valentine's Day: in detox signing divorce papers. There was also a restraining order and I was not allowed to be around my two-year- old son. That was tough to swallow. I love my son very much, but I used to love to drink more. Bill W. once wrote, "Alcohol was my master." I know what he was talking about, but today it is not! After treatment, I went to a halfway house for men with drinking and drug problems, and that is where I learned who I was. I finally found myself, and honestly I really didn't like what I found. This is where I learned that alcohol and drugs weren't the problem, I was. Finally, I started to understand what you folks were talking about. One of the many things you learn in AA is who we really are, what we like and what we really don't like. And, I really didn't care for myself in any way. So here is where I changed, or should I say tried to start making some changes. I finally turned it over to God—I can't run the show anymore. I got a sponsor, an old timer with a lot of time. We worked the first seven Steps together. He shared with me how he stays sober and suggested certain things to me that might help. He was critical for me in early recovery. At times he was the only person I could talk to. He was very dear to my heart. At six months sober, I was asked to come home by the woman who filed for divorce and to start things over. Today things are well, a lot of work to do there still but we are getting along better than ever before. It will take time to heal, but we are willing to try. The sponsor that I use today is one I had before in 2005. He is the perfect fit for me. If you saw us together you would think we were two fellows that would not normally mix. I think I've read somewhere and I believe that God puts certain people in our lives for a reason. He is one of those people. I feel very lucky to have him as a sponsor and a friend. He would be the first one to tell you though that he is just doing what you people taught him—so, thank you! We finished working the Steps and Traditions, and we started going through the Steps with another guy who is starting over, and I can't wait! Thank you for giving me hope! Thank you for always leaving the doors open! Those promises that I have heard about are indeed coming true! Anonymous, Lubbock, TX http://www.aagrapevine.org/feature/1448 WHO WERE THESE GUYS??

Certain similarities between the Washingtonian movement of the nineteenth century and the present day fellowship of Al- coholics Anonymous have been commented upon by a number of observers. In view of this resemblance there is more than historical interest in an account of the first movement in the United States which brought about a large-scale rehabilitation of alcoholics. The phenomenal rise and spread of the Washingtonian movement throughout the land in the early 1840's was the occasion of much discussion, exciting a deep interest. The cause of its equally rapid decline have been a subject of much speculation and are still of concern to the members of Alcoholics Anonymous who may wonder whether or not their movement is destined to a similar fate. This article, therefore, will present not merely a description and history of the movement but also an analysis of the similarities and differences between the Washingtonians and Alcoholics Anonymous. Since the Washingtonian movement is so intimately linked to the larger temperance movement, it may be well to recall the developments which preceded 1840. Before the 1830's, "temperance" was hardly a popular cause. Even in 1812, when Lyman Beecher proposed to his fellow Congregational ministers that they formulate a program for combating intemperance, "... the regular committee reported that 'after faithful and prayerful inquiry' it was convinced that nothing could be done to check the growth of intemperance..."(1). The custom of serving liquor at ecclesiastical meetings probably influenced the out- come of this "prayerful inquiry." But Lyman Beecher was not to be stopped. He headed a new committee that recommended the following steps:... that district assemblies abstain from the use of ardent spirits (not wine) at ecclesiastical meetings, that members of churches abstain from unlawful vending or purchase (not from lawful vending and purchase) of liquor, that farm- ers, mechanics and manufacturers substitute monetary compensation for the ration of spirits, that voluntary (continued on page 5)

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 4 (Washingtonians) associations aid the civil magistrates to enforce the laws, and that the pamphlet of Dr. Rush (2) be printed and circulated(1). The fact that these proposals were regarded as radical by the custodians of the New England conscience is a sufficient clue to the state of public opinion in 1812. It was not until 1825 that Lyman Beecher preached his famous Six Sermons (3), in which he defined intemperance not merely as drunkenness but as the "daily use of ardent spirits." In 1826, in , Beecher and Justin Edwards spearheaded the founding of the first national society, "The American Society for the Promotion of Temper- ance" (American Temperance Society) which sought, according to its constitution, "...to produce such a change of public senti- ment, and such a renovation of the habits of individuals and the customs of the community, that in the end temperance, with all its attendant blessings, may universally prevail (4)." The temperance movement began to take hold. In 1829 there were about 1,000 societies with a membership of approxi- mately 100,000. By 1834 there were 5,000 local societies claiming 11000,000 members, a gain of 500 per cent in 5 years. A temperance press had been established. Effective literature had emerged. Politicians were taking notice. In 1836 the American Temperance Society was merged into the new and more inclusive "American Temperance Union," which decided to take the stand of "total abstinence from all that can intoxicate (5)." This step required an entirely new orientation. It is therefore not surprising that some 2,000 societies and countless individu- als were not ready to go along. Many wealthy contributors, unwilling to forgo wine, withdrew their support. Some leaders were discouraged by the resistance to the new pledge and became inactive. Various controversial issues added to the dissension. The movement fell upon lean years. Its leaders, in 1840, were wondering what could be done to restore the momentum of the years preceding 1836. Their efforts were groping and limited. As for the alcoholic, it was the prevailing opinion, up to 1840, that nothing could be done to help him. Occasionally a "drunkard" did "reform," but this did not erase the general pessimism as to the possibility of rehabilitating drunkards. Since alco- hol was held to be the "cause" of alcoholism, the temperance movement was aimed solely at keeping the nonalcoholic from be- coming an alcoholic. This implied indifference to the alcoholic was epitomized by Justin Edwards in 1822: "Keep the temperate people temperate; the drunkards will soon die, and the land be free (6)." Thus the stage was set for the emergence of the Washingtonian movement. https://www.silkworth.net/pages/washingtonians/the_washingtonian_movement_introduction.php

How Some Basic AA Ideas sudden hope spring up in their minds-a in the political and doctrinal warfare asso- hope in the power of association. Sad ciated with the temperance and abolition Were Tried Out: An AA friend re- experience had proven to each that alone movements. cently dropped by with a tattered volume, he could not stand. But together . . . they Also, The Washingtonians lacked vi- nearly a century old, called "Six Nights would conquer!" They organized a socie- tally important features of AA, among With the Washingtonians." He said, ty, called The Washington Temperance which Dr. Maxwell lists: (1) a program for “Thought we might like to look through it, Society, and "determined that they would personality change (2) anonymity (3) a see how close drunks had come to hitting increase in number." steady flow of new ideas into the groups on AA that long before 1935.” We began What happened? By an AA from outside their local memberships, to read. "coincidence" there arrived at the Grape- and (4) avoidance of causes and contro- In the spring of 1840, the author, T. S. vine the same week an excerpt from a versies. Dr. Maxwell sounds a solemn Arthur, relates, “there were assembled in scholarly treatment of "The Washingtoni- warning as to the vital importance of una- a drinking-house in this city (Baltimore) an Movement" written by Milton A. Max- bated, energetic Twelfth Step work: six men, well advanced in years, who had well, Ph.D. and published in the Quarterly "Whenever, and as long as, the Washing- for a long time been confirmed drunkards, Journal of Studies on Alcohol. The Wash- tonians were working hard at the recla- so wedded to the love of strong drink as ingtonians, Dr. Maxwell points out, had mation of drunkards, they had notable to have found it almost impossible to live certain notable features later incorporated success and the movement thrived and without daily resort to it." Though they into AA: (1 ) Alcoholics helping each oth- grew. This would support the idea that met accidentally, and had gone there to er (2) Weekly meetings (3) Shared expe- active outreach to other alcoholics is a drink, there was, that day, "in the mind of rience (4) Fellowship of a group or its factor in therapeutic success, and a nec- each a strong desire to get out of his en- members constantly available (5) A reli- essary condition for growth-and even for slaved and wretched condition." They ance upon the Higher Power (6) Total survival." https://www.silkworth.net/pages/ talked. "Soon the feelings of each be- abstinence from alcohol. Unfortunately, washingtonians/w_basic_aa_ideas_were_tried_out.php came known to the others, and they felt a the movement eventually was torn apart

"The lesson to be learned from the Washingtonians was not overlooked by Alcoholics Anonymous. As we surveyed the wreck of that movement, early AA members resolved to keep our Society out of public controversy." And to a friend he wrote. "I wish every AA could indelibly burn the history of the Washingtonians into his memory. It is an outstanding example of how, and how not, we ought to conduct ourselves. In a sense, Alcoholics Anonymous has never had a problem seriously threatening our overall unity. Yet I notice that some AAs are complacent enough to suppose we never shall." Bill also recalled the fate of the Washingtonians before 1,500 AAs gathered at the annual banquet in New York City on No- vember 7, 1945. "In short, the Washingtonians went out to settle the world's affairs before they had learned to manage them- selves. They had no capacity for minding their own business.... The negatives within them overthrew the positives.“ https://www.silkworth.net/pages/washingtonians/a_reminder_and_a_warning.php SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 5 “For our group pur- THE SECOND TRADITION pose there is but A.A. is both a democracy and, in Bill W.’s words, “a one ultimate author- benign anarchy.” A group elects its own officers— ity… a loving God who have no power to order anybody to do any- as He may express thing. In most groups, most of the slate rotates out Himself in our group of office at the end of six months, and new officers conscience. Our are elected. If a group wants to be a part of the leaders are but whole A.A. service structure, it elects a G.S.R. trusted servants… (general service representative, with a two-year they do not govern.” term). G.S.R.s elect area com- mittee members and then join them in electing a delegate from their area to the annual General Service Conference. The Con- ference is about the closest ap- proximation of a government that A.A. has; it produces opinions on important matters of policy; it ap- proves the choice of some trustee nominees for the General Service Board and directly elects others. But neither the Conference nor the board can give orders to any group or member. Then who’s in charge around here? A.A. is a spiritual movement, and so the “ultimate authority” is the spiritual concept of the “group conscience.” Its voice is heard when a well-informed group gathers to arrive at a decision. The result rests on more than arithmetic, a “yes” and “no” count. Minority ideas get thoughtful attention. What about that annoying character who’s always sure she’s right. If she’s wrong, then she will—if she remembers the First Tradition as well as the Second—go along with the decision of the group conscience. Does this notion seem too cloudy? Let’s think back to our first meetings. The presence we newcomers felt in those rooms was the same as the group conscience. And it was re- https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p- al—welcoming us in, setting up no barriers of rules. 43_thetwelvetradiillustrated.pdf

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 6 February 2020

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat

1

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Kim S. 23yr Sam T. 29yr RC 1yrs. Kelly S. Eileen M., Drunks ‘R’ Brown Bag Patuxent Riv- 1yrs. Cove 20yr, King- Us er Group Point ston Creek

Gordon M. Jimmy S. Ann G. 37yr KISS 14yr Begin- 21yrs. We ners At Noon Wuz Wurz

9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Jamie Q., 2 Matt A., 2 Brian G., 1 Rebecca L., Dan H. 1yrs. Mary W., yrs. @ ODAAT yr, Mount yr, Sunder- 1yr, Do Drop Clean Air 12yr, Ear- Harmony land Inn ly Risers

16 17 18 19 20 21 22 Ann W. Michelle T., Dave M., 6 13yrs. Solo- 6yr, More yr, Sunder- mons Group Will Be Re- land vealed

Ruby R., 13

23 24 25 26 27 28 29 Carole W., Michelle Y., 4yr, Do Drop 1yr, Not Inn Quite Right Paul M., 30yr, Patux- ent River Group

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 7 March 2020

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Ben L. 6yrs. Mia F. 1yrs. Kiss Group 231 Group

8 9 10 11 12 13 14 Charlie D. Bill H. 1yrs. 23yrs. Kiss More Will Be Group Revealed David H. 5yrs. Monday Night Traditions

15 16 17 18 19 20 21 John O. Trish D. 12yrs. 3yrs. Lexington Saturday Park Group Serenity

22 23 24 25 26 27 28

29 30 31 Bob E. 26yrs. Solomons Group

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 8 SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 9 WHAT’S UP WITH THE MONEY? Members cele- brate sobriety by giving time, energy and money in support of our Twelfth Step—carrying the message—the basic service that the A.A. Fellowship offers. Members assure that group expenses are paid by putting money into the basket passed at each meeting. It is each member’s responsibil- ity to support the services that have been requested by the A.A. Fellow- ship, to help facilitate A.A.’s vital Twelfth Step. Contributions are made in a spirit of sacrifice, and they honor A.A.’s code of “love and service.” Contributions also underscore the spiritual nature of our Fellowship and our mutual love and trust. We have found that these contributions are as important to each member as they are to the service centers supported.

Question: Why do A.A. groups support A.A.’s es- sential services? Answer: Because the services benefit all A.A. groups. Our Seventh Tradition states that “Every A.A. group ought to be fully self- supporting, declining outside contributions.”

Question: What is the Reserve Fund? An- Question: Is it our group’s swer: The Reserve responsibility to reimburse Fund is G.S.O.’s pru- service workers for their dent reserve. Its pur- expenses? Answer: Each pose is to provide the group, district, area or ser- financial resources to vice committee is autono- continue essential ser- mous, and each has different vices of G.S.O. and the needs and resources. While A.A. Grapevine for up to it is up to the group con- a year in the event of an science, many members unexpected reduction in seem to agree that no one normal revenues. should be excluded from service because of finances. Some service workers’ pay out of their own pockets, while others are reimbursed. Question: Doesn’t all A.A. money go into one pot? When we contribute to central office (intergroup), isn’t our mon- ey distributed to the area, district and General Service Question: Our landlord Board (for G.S.O. operations)? Answer: Each A.A. entity has asked us to provide our — group, district, area, central or intergroup office, and own liability insurance. Can Question: After covering our group’s G.S.O. — provides a specific service and is autonomous. G.S.O. help? Answer: No. expenses, we have very little money Separate contributions need to be sent to each entity. G.S.O.’s liability insurance left. Isn’t it embarrassing to send what cannot be extended to seem to be just nickels and dimes? cover local groups. A.A. Answer: The General Service Confer- groups are autonomous, ence has emphasized that it’s not and are not subsidiaries of concerned about the amount each G.S.O. Some groups coop- group contributes, but that each group Question: Our group is planning erate with the facility where contribute something. “It is a spiritual a party to celebrate its anniver- they meet by purchasing a obligation to participate by contrib- sary. Can we use Seventh Tradi- “rider” to the facility’s liabil- uting.” tion funds to pay for the decora- ity insurance policy. The tions and food? Answer: Most group might consult a local members understand that their insurance agent or attorney 7th Tradition contributions will be about liability matters. used to pay group expenses and Question: Why have these 12 Step work. Parties, aren’t generally regarded as 12 Step rules changed and why must work. Some members dig deeper we do this? Answer: Tax into their pockets, others pass a rules are always evolving and second basket. It ‘s the group’s will probably always continue decision and neither course to do so. Not-for-profit organi- conflicts with the 7th Tradition. zations (mostly charities) have received a lot of atten- tion in the past few years, in part because some organiza- tions abused the rules and were operating for the person- Question: Our treasurer just ran off with the money. What should we do? Answer: Unfor- al benefit of certain individuals tunately, this sort of thing, though rare, does who controlled the organiza- occur. Though legal action is always an op- tions. tion, most groups avoid it. In some cases, the https://www.aa.org/ person who stole the money will resurface and assets/en_US/ return it. contributions-and-self- support/mg-15-finance

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 10 WHERE DO WE SEND OUR DONATIONS?

1) All donations can be made online:

http://www.somdintergroup.org/donate.php

2) Or they can be mailed to the appropriate office:

General Service Office District 1 Trust Fund (Calvert) P.O. Box 459 P.O. Box 234 Grand Central Station Barstow, MD 20610 New York, NY 10163 Maryland General Service Inc. PO BOX 8043 District 35 (Charles) Elkridge, MD 21075 P.O. Box 1981 La Plata, MD 20646

Southern Maryland Intergroup (SMIA) District 36 (St. Mary’s) P.O. Box 767 P.O. Box 1334 Charlotte Hall, MD 20622 California, MD 20619

ATTENTION GROUP We are self- TREASURERS supporting *Remember to include the 6-digit GSO Group Number on all corre- through our own spondence to Maryland General Service. contributions.

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 11 HOW TO TALK TO AN ATHEIST OR AN AGNOSTIC

The primary purpose of AA is to ers. This is why AA meetings in Eu- Do Secular AA members want to help the alcoholic who still suffers. rope are much less evangelical than ban talk about a Higher Power? The only requirement for membership in the US and are less likely to close No. Libby L. says, “I don’t expect is a desire to stop drinking. Yet for with the Lord´s Prayer. them to change the whole program alcoholics who are nonbelievers, What can AA members do to because that’s just silly, but don´t tell some AA groups are less than wel- build bridges across belief sys- me that I’m going to fail the program coming. Some of this behavior has tems? First, understand that toler- because I don’t pray to God.” Richie occurred at the organizational level, ance does not imply a lack of commit- L says, “I certainly do not want to ban such as when leaders refuse to list or ment to one’s own beliefs. The secu- deity talk . . . In my experience, many attempt to delist secular meetings. lar path in AA is simply a different in my fellowship say that their beliefs Other actions occur in meetings - one path with the same goal: recovery are their own and are not intended to member recounts a meeting where from alcoholism. Acceptance also be imposed on anyone else...The the “Chapter to the Agnostic” was re- does not mean one cannot express keywords in AA are sobriety and re- ferred to as the “Chapter to the Ob- his or her own beliefs. However, it covery, not heaven and hell.” noxious.” Some behavior can be ex- does mean refraining from undermin- In October, 2016, the Grapevine tremely harmful, i.e., telling newcom- ing or attacking the beliefs of others, published an edition of stories of ag- ers that they will never get sober – or especially when it drives someone nostic and atheist members. Many worse, that they will die – unless they away from the program. Shana L have decades of experience to share believe in God. writes, “When I got sober the first - secular member John H. has over The majority of AA members sin- time, I was accosted in the parking lot five decades of sobriety. Dale K. cerely wish to be of service to others. of my work place by an AA member writes that asking a secular member Because we believe that building who told me I could “never get sober how he or she stays sober is “an indi- bridges serves the fellowship better without God.” This man’s statement cation that they accept me as I am than building walls, secular AA mem- and the inappropriate place where it and are showing respect... It’s a pretty bers from across North America have occurred made me feel unwelcome big compliment that somebody wants contributed ideas on how to work with and were big reasons why I decided I to know how you stay sober.” alcoholics who are nonbelievers. didn’t belong in the program.” How should members in the Why does it matter how AA We all need to step up if members program work with Secular new- treats secular members? The are abusive to those with different be- comers? Maria B. writes, “What I ability to incorporate diverse view- liefs, as silence implies consent. Tom wish someone had told me when I points is important to keep AA rele- G. puts it evocatively: “Treat all peo- was a newcomer: It’s ok if you believe vant as society changes. According to ple with love and respect. Let them in nothing at all, or something outside Pew Research, 16 percent of the US find their way. Let them search until of mainstream religious beliefs, or if population identify as Agnostic, Athe- the transformation takes place and you are still questioning. No matter ist, or say that religion is unimportant they find freedom from their suffer- what your persuasion, you can get to them. In contrast, the percentage ing.” Karen M. writes, “When I say and stay sober. You can also — if you who say that they are Christian has that I’m a non-theist (atheist or agnos- choose to — work the steps as an dropped by eight percentage points tic), believe me. Assume that I am just atheist or agnostic.” Realize that since 2007. This is partly because as strong in my non-belief in a deity some secular members may choose society is becoming more secular and as you are in your belief in one.” not to participate in prayers and read- partly because it is becoming more Jim M. says, “Understand that we ings that run counter to their beliefs. religiously diverse. atheists, agnostics, and others al- Jim M. says, “Don’t ask us or place us In Europe, these numbers are ready have a belief system that has to into a position where we are forced to much higher. For example, in the UK, be respected and put into context act in a way counter to our belief 53% of the population are nonbeliev- when talking about sobriety.” (continued on page 13) SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 12 “...Few indeed are the practicing alcoholics who have any STEP TWO: idea how irrational they are, or seeing their irrationality, can bear to face it. Some will be willing to term themselves “Came to believe ‘problem drinkers’, but cannot endure the suggestion that they are in fact mentally ill. They are abetted in this blind- that a Power ness by a world which does not understand the difference between sand drinking and alcoholism. ‘Sanity’ is defined greater than our- as ‘soundness of mind.’ Yet no alcoholic, soberly analyz- selves could re- ing his destructive behavior, whether the destruction fell on the dining-room furniture or his own moral fiber, can claim store us to sanity.” ‘soundness of mind’ for himself. Therefore, Step Two is the rallying point for all of us. Whether agnostic, atheist, or for- mer believer, we can stand together on this Step. True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity

if we rightly relate ourselves to Him.” https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/twelve-steps-and-twelve-traditions

(How to talk…) system. This alienates people. At times, sec- What kinds of resources are available for secular ular members have been asked to lead the Lord´s Prayer members? There are thousands of secular members when the meeting chair was fully aware of their atheist or in AA who can provide support for others by identifying agnostic beliefs. themselves in meetings, answering questions, providing Can someone who believes in God sponsor secular meeting information, suggesting reading material someone who doesn´t? Sure. Robert K. writes, “I’m and sponsorship. Members who believe in God can grateful that my sponsor suggested taking what I can use share their experience, show respect, and speak up if and leaving the rest. No judgement, just learning a new negative comments are made. Living Sober is full of way of thinking. Try it. If it works, use it. If it doesn’t, useful, practical information for newcomers and there’s move on to something else.” Maria B. advises, “Look for less focus on God than in other AA literature. The Alter- the people who nurture and support you. I looked for native 12 Steps: A Secular Guide to Recovery shows someone who was open-minded, kind, respectful, and how the program can be interpreted and worked by secu- loving. I could not find any atheists or agnostics in my lar members. Beyond Belief: Agnostic Musings for 12 area when I was looking. My sponsor is a Christian, but Step Life is a daily reflection book used by many. she has all of these characteristics and is very support- How can AA members create an environment ive.” where everyone feels welcome? John L. writes, How do you explain how the program works to a “First of all, there is never any reason to be unkind. I Secular newcomer? John C. says, “Explain the his- wont beat sobriety into anyone. No scorning, shaming, or tory of the AA program, how it started with religious roots. tough love.” Henrik B. says, “I never let God-or-death-by Explain that going to meetings, getting a sponsor, writing -bottle comments pass unchallenged. I cut in and say and sharing an inventory, making amends, and being of that long-term sobriety is very much possible without be- service is a process that leads to a change in attitude lieving in God. The world is becoming more secular and and perception. That process in itself is a power greater more diverse. The ability to incorporate different view- than our self/ego. Explain that some call it a spiritual pro- points is important to keep AA relevant as society chang- cess, some say it is God, but you can call it whatever you es. This is especially important for attracting younger want. The point is that everyone in AA goes through this members, since AA is “graying” rapidly. Tolerance and process and the results are the same no matter what an- respect are not a luxury; they are a necessity. Ritha F. yone believes or doesn’t believe - it allows us to live so- https://aabeyondbelief.org/2018/10/21/how-to-talk-to-an-atheist-or- agnostic/ ber. The power is in the process.”

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 13 members, five of whom were women. IT HAPPENED February 18: 1943: AA's were granted the right to use cars for 12th IN FEBRUARY step work in emergency cases, despite gas rationing. ... February 1: February 20: 1918: Original date set for Bill Wilson's marriage to 1941: The Toledo Blade published first of three articles Lois Burnham. The date was moved up because of the on AA by Seymour Rothman. war. 1942: Ruth Hock, AA's 1st paid secretary, resigns to get February 21: married 1939: 400 copies of the Big Book manuscript were sent to doctors, judges, psychiatrists, and others for comment. February 2: 1942: Bill Wilson paid tribute to Ruth Hock, AA's first February 22: paid secretary, who resigned to get married. She had 1842: Abe Lincoln addressed the Washington Temper- written approximately 15,000 letters to people asking for ance Society in Springfield, IL. help February 24: February 5: 2002: Hal Marley, "Dr. Attitude of Gratitude," died. He 1941: Pittsburgh Telegram ran a story on the first AA had 37 years of sobriety. Hal testified, anonymously, be- group's Friday night meeting of a dozen "former hopeless fore the U.S. Senate Subcommittee on Alcoholism and drunks." Drug Abuse on December 3, 1970.

February 8: Other February events with no specific date: 1940: Bill W., Dr. Bob, and six other AA's asked 60 rich friends of John D. Rockefeller Jr., for money at the Union 1938: Rockefeller gave $5,000 to AA. Club, NY. They got $2,000. 1939: Dr. Harry Tiebout endorsed AA, the first psychia- trist to do so. February 10: 1922: Harold E. Hughes was born near Ida Grove, Io- wa. After his recovery from alcoholism, he became 1940: 1st AA clubhouse opened at 334-1/2 West 24th Governor of , a United States Senator, and the lead- Street, NYC. ing dark horse for the Presidential Democratic nomination in 1972, until he announced he would not run. He au- 1946: The AA Grapevine reported the New York Sea- thored the legislation which created the National Institute man's Group issued a pamphlet for seamen "on one page on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, and other legislation to the 12 Steps have been streamlined into 5." help alcoholics and addicts. 1946: Pueblo. Colorado, had a second group, composed February 11: of alcoholic State Hospital patients. 1938: Clarence Snyder ("Home Brewmeister" in 1st, 2nd & 3rd editions) had his last drink. 1959: AA granted "Recording for the Blind" permission to

February 12: 1945: World War II paper shortage forced reduction in MEETING UPDATES size of the Big Book. •SMIA meeting location changing (see page 3) February 13: 1937: Oxford Groups "Alcoholic Squadron" met at the •Sunderland Group now meets at 7:30pm home of Hank Parkhurst ("The Unbeliever" in the 1st edi- •Bedouin Group now meets at 7:30am tion of the Big Book) in New Jersey. 1940: With about two years of sobriety, Jim Burwell •Happy Hour Group now meets at: ("The Vicious Cycle") moved to the Philadelphia area and started the first Philadelphia A.A. group. Harriet Brown Community Center February 14: 901 Dares Beach Road 1971: AA groups worldwide held a memorial service for Prince Frederick, MD 20678 Bill Wilson. Saturday 7:00pm February 15: 1941: Baltimore Sunday Sun reported that the city's first NEW MEETING GUIDES COMING SOON! AA group, begun in June 1940, had grown from 3 to 40

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 14 https://wordmint.com/public_puzzles/71036

AA is like an adjustable wrench. It fits every nut.

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 15 Scott C. Bedouin Group

My name is Scott C. I’m 37 years old and my sobriety date is January 17, 2019. I went through a 12-step rehab program at Carol M. Porto Treatment Center from January 17 - March 6, 2019. Upon my successful departure from treatment, I moved into Sober Living in Lusby, MD; shortly afterward, I became a home group member of the Bedouin Group @ Phillips House in Prince Frederick around April 1, 2019. Since joining the group, I’ve held service po- sitions including Coffee-Maker, Secretary, and Breakfast Coordinator for our “First-Sunday-of- the- Month-Breakfast Meeting” (held at Phillips House, 10am, 1st Sunday of every month). As I am only days away from my first ever sober anniversary, I though I would go ahead and share this brief glimpse into the enigma known as my brain. I owe this program and the peo- ple I’ve met here everything. On my fourth attempt, I truly surrendered myself to this and I’ve found peace. From homeless and destitute on the streets of Baltimore, to becoming Director of Operations for A.C.E. Sober Homes, Breakfast Coordinator for my home group, and a repre- sentative of this program, carrying our message into the very treatment center from which I graduated. It works if you work it.

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 16 The A.A. Group …Where it all begins

Each group is as unique as a thumbprint, and approaches to carrying the message of sobriety vary not just from group to group but from region to region. Acting autonomously, each group charts its own course. The better informed the members, the stronger and more cohesive the group — and the greater the assurance that when a newcomer reaches out for help, the hand of A.A. always will be there. https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-16_theaagroup.pdf These groups need support and home group members:

• Beginners At Noon

• Happy Destiny

• Not Quite Right

• Wits End

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 17 SMIA Meeting nan also stated that there more lady volunteers St able to ask any questions Minutes was a purchase of $2,868.63 Mary’s: Kim K. stated he and were given feed back for the Bookstall. He also had 10 men and was doing from other groups’ experi- 1/11/20 stated he will need volun- well. enced with the service. After The meeting was opened by teers for the 2020 Roundup. the call, group discussion PI/CPC: Calvert: Roger M. Pat S. with the Serenity decided to take the issue Telephone: Emme J. sub- relayed a message; things Prayer. back to their home groups, mitted a report, calls since were going well Charles: then revisit next month for a New Members and Visi- 12/14/2019 totaled 6 one Cindy H. stated things were possible change in our Hot tors: Patty (Nanjemoy), Paul looking for a ride 3 wanting going well St. Mary’s: No Line Service. Y. (Smoke Free), Dennis P. meeting info and 1 wanting report. and Scott C. (Bedouin). to talk. Emme stated in her Bruce O. stated we need to Gratitude Dinner: No report. Report that she had call from make up an Elections Com- Board Members and Com- the Southern MD Pre Re- Serenity Breakfast: No re- mittee for the upcoming mittee Chair Present: Pat lease requesting for meet- port. Election in March. The group S. Chairperson, Janine G. ings to be brought in to the needs to elect a new Chair- Vice Chairperson, Bruce O. Picnic: No report. facility. A.A. Hotline, New person who should be from Parliamentarian, Buddy F. Caller ID (800-492-0209). Where and When: Pat P. Calvert, also the Parliamen- Secretary, Cora W. Treasur- provided Where and When’s tarian and Secretary posi- er, Keith H. Lifeline, John Lifeline: Keith stated things for the group, he stated that tions are also up for new Of- Miller Gratitude Dinner, Pat were going well. Looking for it was time to update again. ficers as well. P. Where and When, Bill L. info on origins/history of local PLEASE take the time to Webmaster and Keenan W. groups. Also we welcome check through and look for For the good of the Order: Bookstall. Service Bios (600 words or any mistakes. Any changes Bedouin Group has changed less, ~ 1/2 page) from any- their meeting time to 7:30 SMIA Chair Report: Pat S. can be sent to one in local AA community am asked for a volunteer to sub- smia.whereandwhen@somd who’d like to share; send mit a Service Biography for a.org. or enter them in the Adjournment: The meeting yours today to somdlife- the February Lifeline. Web form: http:// was adjourned at 11:02 am [email protected]. Remember www.somdintergroup.org/ with the Responsibility that Flyers also need to be SMIA Vice Chair Report: smiachange.html Pat will be Pledge. Janine G. no report at this maximum 1/2 in size or may doing a reprint of the Where Submitted by Buddy F., time. be edited down. and When’s in time for the SMIA Secretary Website: Bill L. stated that February SMIA meeting. Secretary’s Report: Buddy there was an outstanding Old Business: Cora W. is SERVICE F. gave Secretary’s report payment of $8.71. This must still working with the bank to for December 2019, Secre- POSITIONS be paid immediately or the resolve the issue concerning tary’s report was accepted AVAILABLE host will close the site. Bill our taxes. Pat P. asked as read. stated he changed the Ban- about the issue of not having The terms for the current Treasurer’s Report: Cora ner for 2020 and was still the insurance that the Intergroup Chairperson, W. gave Treasurers report working on the JSON feed Church requested we have. Secretary and Parliamen- for December 2019, the for the meeting guide app. According to our treasurer tarian are up after the March SMIA meeting. Treasurer’s report was ac- There were 2,279 visits to we do have a policy in effect Nominations are being cepted as read. the website down 2% since to cover what the church re- December. Most frequent accepted at the February quested. 15 SMIA membership SMIA Chair Reports: visited pages were Home, New Business: Pat S. pro- meeting and elections will Archives: No Report. Where and When Calendar, be held at the March Where and When Search, vided information packets meeting. The first meeting Bridging the Gap: No report Minutes and Al-Anon infor- from Jive Business Phone for the newly elected Chuck G., is in need for vol- mation. Services and quotes for the board members will be the unteers in the Lexington cost of a less costly monthly April meeting. Please sub- Park area if anyone was in- Corrections and Treat- phone service. She was mit nominations to your terested please contact him. ment: Calvert: Colleen B. able to have a conference Homegroup's Intergroup and Fred W. stated all was Representative, or via Bookstall: Keenan W. stat- call to one of our fellow going well., Charles: both email ed book sales for the month SMIA Groups in Maryland groups are doing well need to smia.parliamentarian@ of December $947.10 Kee- that use Jive. The group was somdaa.org SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 18 DISTRICT 35 - CHARLES COUNTY DISTRICT 1 CALVERT COUNTY OPEN SERVICE POSI- TIONS: • Communications Chair • Grapevine Rep District Meeting: 7 PM, 1st Thurs- day Peace Lutheran Church Waldorf MD District Meeting: PO Box 1981, La Plata, MD 20646 7 PM, 3rd Monday St. Paul’s Episc. HEADS UP!!! Church Prince Frederick, DISTRICT 36 - MD ST. MARY'S District 1 Trust Fund COUNTY PO Box 234 District Meeting: 6:30 PM, 2nd Tuesday @ Hollywood Rescue Squad Bldg., Hollywood Barstow, MD 20610 PO Box 1334, California, MD 20619 www.calvertaa.org CO-CHAIRS NEEDED SERVICE FOR POSITIONS SERVICE COMMITTEES JOIN US @ NEXT MTG: AVAILABLE FEBRUARY 15, 10AM The terms for the current Intergroup Chairperson, Secretary and Parliamentarian are up after the March SMIA meeting. Nomina- tions are being accepted at the February 15 SMIA membership meeting and elections will be held at the March meeting. The first meeting for the newly elected board members will be the April 11, 2020 meeting. Please submit nominations to your Homegroup's Intergroup Representative, or by email to [email protected]

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 19 A southern Baptist minister was completing a temperance sermon. WHAT DO WE WANT? With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." Do we want more of what brought us to AA?... We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional na- With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the tures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling world, I'd take it and pour it into the of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help river." to other people—was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important ... ? And then finally, shaking his fist in 2nd, 3rd, and 4th edition Big Book page 52 the air, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and ... or do we want what practicing the principles of AA promises? pour it into the river." If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we The sermon complete, he sat are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. down. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word The song leader stood very cau- tiously and announced with a smile, serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will nearly laughing, "For our closing see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will song, let us sing Hymn #365, ‘Shall disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self- We Gather at the River.’" seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people http://www.aalondon.org/Humour3.html and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations “Let us always love the best which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being ful- in others - and never fear filled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we their worst.” Bill Wilson, The Language of the Heart work for them. 2nd, 3rd, and 4th edition Big Book page 83 & 84 Want to Need a Meeting Total County Other* SMIA PHONE REPORT Talk Ride Info Calls FEBRUARY 2020 Calvert 2 2

Charles 1 1 2 RECOVERY. You must St. Mary’s 5 2 2 9 be present to win. Not Speci- fied 1 3 1 5

Total Calls 9 3 3 3 18

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP ASSOCIATION Our primary purpose is to help CHAIR: Pat S. the still suffering alcoholic. VICE CHAIR: Jeanine W. SMIA is committed to this prin- SECRETARY: Buddy F. ciple and provides a 24x7 Tele- TREASURER: Cora W. phone Service. We need PARLIAMENTARIAN: Bruce O. phone volunteers! Go to our Where & When: Pat P. website, Lifeline: Keith H. www.somdintergroup.org. Telephone: Emme J. Click on the Phone List link, complete the online form - Website: Bill L. this is a secure method to add your name to the 12- Bookstall: Keenan W. Step Call List. This protected information is only The Lifeline is an unofficial newsletter published by Southern Mar- shared with the Phone Committee Chair. You will be yland Intergroup Association, Inc. Any opinions expressed are those amazed before you’re half way through. of the writers. They are not endorsed by SMIA, any group or AA as a whole. Group secretaries and individuals are encouraged to send group news, anniversaries and events. Material may be edited for Please send any updates for the Where & When to: space and content. Please send all Lifeline correspondence to: [email protected]. [email protected] Current meeting guides are available at the

THE DEADLINE FOR ALL LIFELINE SUBMISSIONS IS THE 27th monthly SMIA meeting on a limited basis. OF EACH MONTH. “Our leaders are but trusted servants, they do not govern.”

SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 20