Module 2 Handout 2.7: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies Helping Young Children Control Anger and Handle Disappointment

Gail E. Joseph, Ph.D. & Phillip S. On this Friday, the water table has behavioral pretense of taking a deep Strain, Ph.D. been borrowed by the class next door breath and reacting calmly. Children Center on Evidence Based Practices and is not available. When Mattie who learn to cope with their emotions for Early Learning realizes that the water table is not constructively not only have an easier University of Colorado at Denver available she seeks out her teacher for time with disappointments, help. She does this with a clear aggravation, and hurt feelings that are s a result of his teachers’ careful expression of frustration and so ubiquitous in the lives of selection of toys, materials, and disappointment. Her teacher explains preschoolers but they also have an Aplay themes, 3 year old Eduardo what happened and asks Mattie to easier time relating to other children now is able to benefit from his active describe how she is feeling. She says and adults at home, in school or child participation in a full range of free she is frustrated. Her teacher care, and on the playground (National play activities. Yet, it is still the case acknowledges the legitimacy of her Research Council and Institutes of that without this level of planning and feelings and asks her if she can think Medicine, 2000). subsequent, ongoing praise, Eduardo of what she and her classmates have On the other hand, young children would spend most days playing alone practiced when they feel frustrated. who have failed to master the early with a particular Tonka truck. On this With some prompting, Mattie recalls regulatory tasks of learning to day the truck has been retired from the plan—takes three deep breaths, manage interpersonal conflict and service due to a broken and now tell yourself to calm down, and think control aggressive and disruptive dangerous part. Visibly upset, of some solutions. Mattie and the impulses are more likely than their Eduardo begins to whimper as his teacher generate some options at this self-regulated peers to display early teacher explains the situation with the point, including; a) playing with her conduct problems. Children with truck and promises to get it replaced next favorite toy; b) asking her best conduct problems and poor impulse soon. She offers Eduardo other play friend what she wants to play; and c) control are more likely to be peer- ideas and begins to play with other pretending to use the water table. She rejected and do more poorly in school trucks herself encouraging him to join chooses b, and has a fun freeplay. than children who are more capable in. The disappointment is too As young children gain a better at emotional regulation and problem overwhelming, however, and Eduardo understanding of emotions, they solving (Strain, Kerr, Stagg & just sits passively, shaking his head, become more capable of emotional Lenkner, 1984). Before children can No. His teacher next prompts several regulation. Controlling anger and effectively manage interpersonal of his usual play partners to, “Ask impulse is perhaps the most difficult conflict, they need to be able to Eduardo to help with their building.” task of emotional literacy. In real life recognize and regulate their own When asked, Eduardo screams “No,” situations that are upsetting, emotional responses and stress level. stomps over their building project and disappointing and frustrating it is a Teachers can play a significant role in gets a predicable response from his tough undertaking to remain calm. helping children learn to control their peers. The teacher intervenes at this Remaining calm in the presence of anger and impulses and to handle point to protect Eduardo, his peers adverse situations is not about the disappointment in appropriate ways and the ongoing program. suppression of emotions, but the by identifying and intervening with Mattie, a 4 year old in a local dynamic engagement of affective, children who need extra help in Head Start classroom is always the cognitive and behavioral processes. developing these competencies. first to organize fun play when the In order to regulate emotions one Some teaching strategies include water table comes out each Friday. must bring into play the rapid and modeling remaining calm; cognitive She often talks with great anticipation accurate recognition of physiological behavioral interventions; preparing and excitement (especially on arousal, the cognitive process children for disappointing situations Thursday) about what she is going to required to think, for example, “I before they occur; recognizing and do at the water table with her friends. need to calm down” and, the reinforcing when children remain

Rev. 2/10 The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel H 2.7 (p. 1/5) Module 2 Handout 2.7: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies

calm; and involving parents and other modify their thoughts and promote turtle explains a time he got upset in care providers. self-regulation. With preschooler, preschool (selecting an incident many accidents occur in classrooms familiar to the children is best). He Model remaining calm (e.g., children bumping into one demonstrates how he thinks to himself Teachers can model how to another; children knocking over “STOP,” then goes in his shell and manage anger and handle others’ constructions) and some takes three deep breaths. After he disappointment for young children. children interpret these accidents as takes three deep breaths, he thinks to For example, a teacher can share with purposeful, hostile acts. An essential himself “I can be calm and think of her class how she felt angry when ingredient of CBI is to help children some solutions to solve my problem.” someone hit her car in the parking lot reframe and modify their processes in When he is calm, he comes out of his Ð but then she decided that feeling order to substitute more neutral shell and is ready to problem solve mad wasn’t helping her think of good interpretations of others’ behaviors. peacefully. The teacher can then solutions Ð so she took three deep The “turtle technique” is a CBI invite the children to practice turtle’s breaths and thought about something strategy that has been used secret. Children can “go in their relaxing and then when she felt calm successfully with preschool and shells” as a group and together take she thought of some solutions for kindergarten age children (Greenberg, three deep breaths. Then an fixing her car. In addition to recalling Kusche & Quamma, 1995;Webster- individual child can model the “turtle incidents when one felt angry but Stratton & Hammond, 1997). technique” in front of the class. remained in control Ð teachers can The turtle technique was originally Practice small group activities can also model remaining calm as developed to teach adults anger include making paper plate turtles naturally occurring disappointing, management skills then was with moveable heads and arms that scary, frustrating and difficult successfully adapted for school age “go in their shell.” Children can then situations happen throughout the day children (Robin, Schneider & rehearse the steps with the paper plate (e.g., a fire drill; being yelled at; Dolnick, 1976; Schenider, 1974). turtle. having something break, etc.). Since then, the turtle technique has been adapted and integrated into Preparing children to handle Teach children how to control social skills programs for preschoolers disappointment anger and impulse (PATHS, Dinosaur School). The basic Teachers can help children by steps of the turtle technique are: rehearsing some strategies to handle While it may be true that children Recognizing that you feel angry often hear adults telling them to disappointment before a potentially Thinking “stop” disappointing incident occurs. For “calm down,” it is very unlikely that Going into your “shell” and taking this simple direction will result in any example, Elizabeth knows that some three deep breaths and thinking children will be disappointed because changes in children’s affect or calming, coping thoughts, “It was an behavior. In some instances this kind she can only choose one “helper” to accident. I can calm down and think feed the pet goldfish. Before she of command may even escalate a of good solutions. I am a good child’s angry response. Cognitive announces who the helper will be she problem solver.” says to the class, “Remember, I will behavioral intervention (CBI) Coming out of your “shell” when strategies can provide children with only be able to select one fish feeder calm and think of some solutions to today, and that may make some of you the requisite skills to control anger the problem. and handle disappointment. CBIs feel disappointed. What can you do if Teaching the turtle technique to you feel disappointed?” The children offer strategies for teaching young children can happen at large appropriate replacement skills to together snap their finger and say, “Oh and small group times. A turtle puppet well, maybe next time.” Elizabeth angry outbursts and aggression. CBIs is helpful and keeps children engaged engage a relationship between says, “That is right you can say – during the lesson. The teacher can ‘Maybe next time.’” After she selects internal cognitive events and begin by introducing the turtle to the behavioral change through teaching the fish feeder, she reinforces the class. After the children get a chance children who remained calm and strategies that guide performance and to say hello and perhaps give a gentle reduce inappropriate behaviors. handled their disappointment. pet, the teacher shares the turtle’s Similarly, a teacher can prepare a Using CBI, teachers can provide special trick for calming down. The young children with strategies to single child for a disappointing

Rev. 2/10 The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel H 2.7 (p. 2/5) Module 2 Handout 2.7: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies

situation before it occurs. Elizabeth Posting pictures of the turtle Recognize and comment when knows that Jordan will be disappointed technique (see Box 1 ) can remind children remain calm if someone else is on his favorite children of the steps to calming down. There are four key features of a swing on the playground. Before they These can be posted in several places reinforcement system that are likely leave for outside, she pulls Jordan around the room. Visual cues can be to help strengthen children’s aside and says, “When we go outside, particularly helpful for very young management of frustration and anger. someone else might be on your children, children who are easily First, it must be recognized that favorite swing. And you might feel distracted, and children with controlling one’s emotions and disappointed. But, what can you do to communication delays. Strategically subsequent behavior is hard work. As stay calm?” She supports Jordan to placed, the visual cues can serve as: such, reinforcement needs to be remember his “turtle technique” and a) a permanent reminder for frequent and powerful. As frequency helps him think of some solutions such children—that is, children don’t have depends on the occurrence of as asking for a turn, saying please and to remember the steps of the process, behavior, teachers need to be equally finding something else to do while the b) an efficient prop for teachers such vigilant about planning as many child finishes swinging. For added that they can simply point to the next opportunities for practice as possible. support, because Jordan may not step and not disrupt the ongoing class Teachers may also find that their remember when he is in the moment, activity with lengthy dialogue, and, c) impact is enhanced when they are Elizabeth gives him a small plastic a clear, concrete way to communicate especially vigilant to “catch those turtle to hold. The turtle prompts with children the specific behavioral children being good” who may need Jordan to keep calm and think of steps for which they are being the most support. A second key solutions. reinforced. feature is to provide naturally occurring, vicarious reinforcement The Turtle Technique opportunities. For example, the exchanges that adults have with each other can be planned to achieve this aim. For example, Elizabeth might say, “Wow, Steven you really stayed calm when your watch broke. I’m proud of you.” Third, we recommend that children be provided the opportunities for self-reinforcement. For example, children can choose among several favorite items and they can forecast at the beginning of the day what they would wish to acquire for managing anger and frustration. Step 1 Step 2 Finally, we recommend keeping reinforcers varied and fun. Box 2 outlines some favorite ideas to consider. This system, when implemented with a high degree of fidelity, sends a clear message to young children that handling anger and impulse in constructive and peaceful ways is greatly valued.

Step 3 Step 4 Box 1. The Turtle Technique

Rev. 2/10 The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel H 2.7 (p. 3/5) Module 2 Handout 2.7: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies

communication system in which a Conclusion Turtle Technique Reinforcing daily report card is sent home that: a) Emotional regulation is fostered Activities highlights how children have not only by the interventions and successfully negotiated a frustrating strategies described in this article, but situation and b) suggests ways that also by the confidence and security Super Turtle Award: A family members might further that a warm, responsive relationship certificate is given out at the end of recognize and encourage these the day noting how a child with a caregiver provides young controlled their anger and impulse. accomplishments. An example home children. Trusting relationships allow report is found in Box 3. In this same children to cope with emotions that, “Turtle Power” Necklace: A spirit of regular communication, plastic turtle on a string is awarded initially without even a feeling teachers may also wish to phone home to a child who was able to remain vocabulary to describe them or clam in an upsetting situation. to report any extraordinary examples strategies to regulate them, can be of positive child behavior. For many overwhelming. Moreover this kind of “Turtle Token Jar”: The families this can be a most welcome teacher has a collection of small trusting relationship, by definition, change from the usual events that plastic turtle counters (or green means that children will be more pom-poms). Every time the teacher occasion phone calls from service attuned, attentive, and responsive as catches a child remaining calm and providers. adults model appropriate self- handling disappointment Ð a turtle For families that are interested in regulation and praise examples that token is placed in a clear jar. When more directed and purposeful occur throughout the day. the jar is full the class gets to have a intervention in the home, teachers Strategies like the turtle technique turtle celebration. might choose to share a video of and accompanying teaching supports “Turtle Stack”: Teachers have themselves modeling strategies, can clearly offer children the a supply of construction paper, directly teaching a techniques, and cognitive and behavioral repertoire turtle cut-outs. Each time a child is reinforcing children for successfully needed to be good managers of their caught remaining calm in an calming down. Moreover, teachers feelings—particularly those upsetting or disappointing situation, should consider the possibility of the teacher puts a paper turtle on the occasioned by frustrating and anger- arranging opportunities for families to wall. This turtle can have the provoking circumstances. However, child’s name on it. The next turtle share with each other the ways they for children to be truly competent in earned is stacked on top of the first, have been able to encourage their the regulation of their emotions they and so on until the criterion is children’s self-regulation. often need additional teaching aimed reached. The class then gets to have a turtle party. “Turtle Tote”: The teacher selects a child who has done a GOOD BEHAVIOR REPORT CARD remarkable job of controlling anger Eric Young and impulse and sends them home 4/10/02 with a stuffed turtle puppet for the Dear Parent: evening. The child can then re-tell how they used the turtle technique Today Eric did a great job of handling frustration and not to their parents. getting angry when we ran out of his favorite cookies at snack. Instead of getting upset, Eric took three deep breaths and we Box 2: Fun, Reinforcing Activities talked about other good things to eat.

You can help Eric by: Involving parents Asking him to explain how he calmed down Given that there is great variation Commenting on what a great job that was in child rearing practices specific to teaching children how to deal with Telling him that you hope he can do that again frustration and anger, it is essential when he is frustrated. for teachers to establish effective Thank you so much, home-school collaboration. At a Mr. Phil minimum we suggest an ongoing Box 3: Sample letter to parents

Rev. 2/10 The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel H 2.7 (p. 4/5) Module 2 Handout 2.7: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies

at helping them build a strategy for generating solutions or alternative behaviors to troubling events.

REFERENCES Greenberg, M. T., Kusche, C. A., Cook, E. T., & Quamma, J. P. (1995). Promoting emotional competence in school-aged children: The effects of the PATHS Curriculum. Development and Psychopathology, 7, 117-136. Kusche, C. A., & Greenberg, M. T. (1994) The PATHS Curriculum. Seattle: Developmental Research and Programs. Robin, A., Schneider, M., & Dolnick, M. (1976). The turtle technique: An extended case study of self-control in the classroom. Psychology in the Schools, 13, 449- 453. Strain, P. S., Kerr, M. M., Stagg, V. & Lenkner, D. (1984). An empirical definition of elementary school adjustment. Behavior Modification, 8, 311-47. Schneider, M. (1974). Turtle technique in the classroom. Teaching Exceptional Children, 7, 21-24. Webster-Stratton, C. (1991). The teachers and children videotape series: Dina dinosaur school. Seattle, WA: The Incredible Years. Webster-Stratton, C., & Hammond, M. (1997). Treating children with early-onset conduct problems: A comparison of child and parent training interventions. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 65(1), 93-109.

Rev. 2/10 The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel H 2.7 (p. 5/5)