Module 2 Handout 2.7: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies Helping Young Children Control Anger and Handle Disappointment Gail E. Joseph, Ph.D. & Phillip S. On this Friday, the water table has behavioral pretense of taking a deep Strain, Ph.D. been borrowed by the class next door breath and reacting calmly. Children Center on Evidence Based Practices and is not available. When Mattie who learn to cope with their emotions for Early Learning realizes that the water table is not constructively not only have an easier University of Colorado at Denver available she seeks out her teacher for time with disappointments, help. She does this with a clear aggravation, and hurt feelings that are s a result of his teachers’ careful expression of frustration and so ubiquitous in the lives of selection of toys, materials, and disappointment. Her teacher explains preschoolers but they also have an Aplay themes, 3 year old Eduardo what happened and asks Mattie to easier time relating to other children now is able to benefit from his active describe how she is feeling. She says and adults at home, in school or child participation in a full range of free she is frustrated. Her teacher care, and on the playground (National play activities. Yet, it is still the case acknowledges the legitimacy of her Research Council and Institutes of that without this level of planning and feelings and asks her if she can think Medicine, 2000). subsequent, ongoing praise, Eduardo of what she and her classmates have On the other hand, young children would spend most days playing alone practiced when they feel frustrated. who have failed to master the early with a particular Tonka truck. On this With some prompting, Mattie recalls regulatory tasks of learning to day the truck has been retired from the plan—takes three deep breaths, manage interpersonal conflict and service due to a broken and now tell yourself to calm down, and think control aggressive and disruptive dangerous part. Visibly upset, of some solutions. Mattie and the impulses are more likely than their Eduardo begins to whimper as his teacher generate some options at this self-regulated peers to display early teacher explains the situation with the point, including; a) playing with her conduct problems. Children with truck and promises to get it replaced next favorite toy; b) asking her best conduct problems and poor impulse soon. She offers Eduardo other play friend what she wants to play; and c) control are more likely to be peer- ideas and begins to play with other pretending to use the water table. She rejected and do more poorly in school trucks herself encouraging him to join chooses b, and has a fun freeplay. than children who are more capable in. The disappointment is too As young children gain a better at emotional regulation and problem overwhelming, however, and Eduardo understanding of emotions, they solving (Strain, Kerr, Stagg & just sits passively, shaking his head, become more capable of emotional Lenkner, 1984). Before children can No. His teacher next prompts several regulation. Controlling anger and effectively manage interpersonal of his usual play partners to, “Ask impulse is perhaps the most difficult conflict, they need to be able to Eduardo to help with their building.” task of emotional literacy. In real life recognize and regulate their own When asked, Eduardo screams “No,” situations that are upsetting, emotional responses and stress level. stomps over their building project and disappointing and frustrating it is a Teachers can play a significant role in gets a predicable response from his tough undertaking to remain calm. helping children learn to control their peers. The teacher intervenes at this Remaining calm in the presence of anger and impulses and to handle point to protect Eduardo, his peers adverse situations is not about the disappointment in appropriate ways and the ongoing program. suppression of emotions, but the by identifying and intervening with Mattie, a 4 year old in a local dynamic engagement of affective, children who need extra help in Head Start classroom is always the cognitive and behavioral processes. developing these competencies. first to organize fun play when the In order to regulate emotions one Some teaching strategies include water table comes out each Friday. must bring into play the rapid and modeling remaining calm; cognitive She often talks with great anticipation accurate recognition of physiological behavioral interventions; preparing and excitement (especially on arousal, the cognitive process children for disappointing situations Thursday) about what she is going to required to think, for example, “I before they occur; recognizing and do at the water table with her friends. need to calm down” and, the reinforcing when children remain Rev. 2/10 The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel H 2.7 (p. 1/5) Module 2 Handout 2.7: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies calm; and involving parents and other modify their thoughts and promote turtle explains a time he got upset in care providers. self-regulation. With preschooler, preschool (selecting an incident many accidents occur in classrooms familiar to the children is best). He Model remaining calm (e.g., children bumping into one demonstrates how he thinks to himself Teachers can model how to another; children knocking over “STOP,” then goes in his shell and manage anger and handle others’ constructions) and some takes three deep breaths. After he disappointment for young children. children interpret these accidents as takes three deep breaths, he thinks to For example, a teacher can share with purposeful, hostile acts. An essential himself “I can be calm and think of her class how she felt angry when ingredient of CBI is to help children some solutions to solve my problem.” someone hit her car in the parking lot reframe and modify their processes in When he is calm, he comes out of his – but then she decided that feeling order to substitute more neutral shell and is ready to problem solve mad wasn’t helping her think of good interpretations of others’ behaviors. peacefully. The teacher can then solutions – so she took three deep The “turtle technique” is a CBI invite the children to practice turtle’s breaths and thought about something strategy that has been used secret. Children can “go in their relaxing and then when she felt calm successfully with preschool and shells” as a group and together take she thought of some solutions for kindergarten age children (Greenberg, three deep breaths. Then an fixing her car. In addition to recalling Kusche & Quamma, 1995;Webster- individual child can model the “turtle incidents when one felt angry but Stratton & Hammond, 1997). technique” in front of the class. remained in control – teachers can The turtle technique was originally Practice small group activities can also model remaining calm as developed to teach adults anger include making paper plate turtles naturally occurring disappointing, management skills then was with moveable heads and arms that scary, frustrating and difficult successfully adapted for school age “go in their shell.” Children can then situations happen throughout the day children (Robin, Schneider & rehearse the steps with the paper plate (e.g., a fire drill; being yelled at; Dolnick, 1976; Schenider, 1974). turtle. having something break, etc.). Since then, the turtle technique has been adapted and integrated into Preparing children to handle Teach children how to control social skills programs for preschoolers disappointment anger and impulse (PATHS, Dinosaur School). The basic Teachers can help children by steps of the turtle technique are: rehearsing some strategies to handle While it may be true that children Recognizing that you feel angry often hear adults telling them to disappointment before a potentially Thinking “stop” disappointing incident occurs. For “calm down,” it is very unlikely that Going into your “shell” and taking this simple direction will result in any example, Elizabeth knows that some three deep breaths and thinking children will be disappointed because changes in children’s affect or calming, coping thoughts, “It was an behavior. In some instances this kind she can only choose one “helper” to accident. I can calm down and think feed the pet goldfish. Before she of command may even escalate a of good solutions. I am a good child’s angry response. Cognitive announces who the helper will be she problem solver.” says to the class, “Remember, I will behavioral intervention (CBI) Coming out of your “shell” when strategies can provide children with only be able to select one fish feeder calm and think of some solutions to today, and that may make some of you the requisite skills to control anger the problem. and handle disappointment. CBIs feel disappointed. What can you do if Teaching the turtle technique to you feel disappointed?” The children offer strategies for teaching young children can happen at large appropriate replacement skills to together snap their finger and say, “Oh and small group times. A turtle puppet well, maybe next time.” Elizabeth angry outbursts and aggression. CBIs is helpful and keeps children engaged engage a relationship between says, “That is right you can say – during the lesson. The teacher can ‘Maybe next time.’” After she selects internal cognitive events and begin by introducing the turtle to the behavioral change through teaching the fish feeder, she reinforces the class. After the children get a chance children who remained calm and strategies that guide performance and to say hello and perhaps give a gentle reduce inappropriate behaviors. handled their disappointment. pet, the teacher shares the turtle’s Similarly, a teacher can prepare a Using CBI, teachers can provide special trick for calming down. The young children with strategies to single child for a disappointing Rev.