THE CORD

A WILFRID LAURIER STUDENT PUBLICATION VOLUME XXXIII ISSUE 27 MARCH 25 1993

"Full Bloom", a painting by Teri Hranka, winner of this year's Fine Arts Studio Award, is showing in the Gallery as part of the student/staff show. pic : Chris Skalkos THE CORD Thursday. March 25. 199.1 2 Advertisement _

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*^ : '. i P" Diving for Abortion School is dollars experience France page 5 page 9 page 10

: News: NEWS EDITOR INGRID NIELSEN NEWS EDITOR SHELDON PAGE ASSOCIATE Forum deals with cutbacks Virginia Parker Cord News for the senate to be a successful representative body of students' Laurier's current course cuts concerns. This idea was echoed in along with several other issues most of the other candidates' plat- were discussed at the open fo- forms. rum for the upcoming student Wayne Gingrich was the first senate elections in the Concourse to suggest that the four main stu- this past Thursday. dent government bodies (senate, Nine of theten candidates were SPBOD, Board of Governors, in attendance to discuss academic WLUSUBOD) work together un- issues ranging from course cuts dera Planning and Priorities Com- and class sizes to different ways to mittee that wouldpresenta unified make the senate more approach- voice to Laurier President Dr. able for students. Lorna Marsden. This was a popu- The candidates also discussed lar idea with the other senator such issues as funding concerns, hopefuls as well. Terry Grogan (see story last issue) Pruyn Haskins also suggested and the proposed Arts and Science that the elected senators keep regu- Building. lar weekly office hours to increase Also included in the forum their availability to the students. was a chance for the two newest There was a general sense (acclaimed) members of the Board among the candidates of the im- of Governors, Sean Taylor and portance of guarding Laurier's Dave Bigioni, to speak on the is- reputation of smaller classes and sues that concern their positions. lower professor to studentratios to Candidates discuss the issues before facing the hoards. Pic: Sheldon Page A concern that many senate ensure that the quality of educa- candidates brought up was the fact tion offered would be worth the dustries be encouraged. probably wouldn't happen during should still be in the election, their that many students were unsure as tuition paid for it. The issue of whether or not a recession. responses were varied. to what the function of the senate The dominant issue for most funding from the private industry The recent Terry Grogan Barnes, Gingrich, Haskins, actually was. of the candidates was the recent sector should be accepted by Lau- 'scandal' also attracted the atten- Curran, McKeeand Ken McGuffin The senate is the highest aca- course cuts. rier was debated at length until a tion of the candidates. all agreed that Grogan had a right demic body on campus. The stu- One solution to halting fur- few of the forum's spectators Grogan was fined by the elec- to be in the election, dentrepresentatives voice the con- ther course cuts came from Tim pointed out that funding was not a tion council for reading other can- Susan Griffin and Sydney cerns of the students that they rep- Barnes who suggested that the part of the concerns of the student didates' platforms that were stored Pereira did not, however, see the resent. administration take a ten percent senate. in the Cord computer files. He situation thatway. Susan explained Barbara Curran suggested in cut in the same way that other Funding problems are, in fact, was given a chance to explain his that Laurier did not need "some- her platform that a booth be set up corporations do during difficult issues that concern the Board of side of the story and apologize to one who would do that on [the] in the Concourse where students economic times. Directors. the entire student body for making senate". could meet with a student senator To solve the financial prob- Newly acclaimed director "a mistake". Students will be able to vote to voice opinions and discuss is- lems that are causing the course Sean Taylor explained that while When the question was asked for up to eight of the ten candi- sues. She explained that "visibil- cuts, Andrew McKee suggested the ideaof attempting to getcorpo- of the other candidates as to dates. Elections continue until ity and communication are key" that investments from private in- rate donations was a good one, it whether they thought that Grogan Saturday. MBA students win award Bonnie Redekop Cord News University of Ottawa. The task involved the develop- ness Professor and Director of the Lesley Crompton said, "with four Kevin Burns was an alternate ment of an innovative product that Research Centre for Management very strong, opinionated members, team member, and went through is used for cardiovascular diag- of Advanced Technology/Opera- a group leader doesn't work." Four Laurier MBA students won the preparation process but didnot nostic treatment and intervention. tions, acted as facilitator. Williston said each team mem- a national technology case com- participate in the competition. The students had five hours In orderto compete in Ottawa, ber won $250, Corel software, a petition on March 13. Williston said, "it's the first to analyze and make written rec- the students had to qualify in a sweatshirt, medallion, "and a pat Lesley Crompton, Dan Laurier MB A victory of this type." ommendations. They were given preliminary round. Their task was on the back from Professor Noori." Pringle, Robert Tong, and Darryl The competition was spon- an additional 30 minutes to pre- to make recommendations on a Williston said Noori was "in- Williston came out on top in the sored by the Business and Engi- pare a 20 minute presentation. case involving the development of strumental in our success." The competition, which was held at the neering Development Association. Dr. Hamid Noori, WLU Busi- image-processing software. trophy that the team won is being In the preliminary round, the kept in the office of the Dean of students had five hours to analyse Business. and complete the assignment and Noori said the students uti- Birth control referendum fax it to Ottawa. lized "a perfect balance of techni- Noori said that last year a team cal/non-technical perspectives of of Laurier students placed first in business" and that they "commit- the preliminary round, but didn't ted few mistakes." win the second round. This year's Noori said he had no doubts team repeated last year's prelimi- that the Laurier students were nary win and went on to win the qualified to win any competition. second round. "They werea very committed team Other competing teams also and they set a very high goal for had access to preparatory courses, themselves," he said. which is something that was not Noori said he'd like to see available to the Laurier team. more Laurier participation in these A prestigious group judged kinds of competitions, as they pro- the competition. Included were vide Business and Engineering professionals from Air Canada, students with business perspec- Northern Telecom, Newbridge, tives and technical/non-technical Defense Ministry,and several oth- knowledge. ers. Noori said that a pool of engi- The Laurier team then divided neering and business students is the tasks into individual responsi- ideal for this kind of competition. bilities according to the strengths The team had to include at least and weaknesses of the members. one student from each discipline. THE CORD 4 News Thursday, March 25, 1993 American style university Jim Boyce Cord News arship and The Fraser Institute. to study other cultures as alterna- dices of other cultures. He cited norant of their own past, he said, He is the author ofIlliberal Educa- tives. The problem with this rea- the Koran as an example and said citing students who had learned tion: The Politics of Race and Sex soning, he said, was that many of that it embraces male superiority. about Malcolm X from Spike Lee's "(TheAdministration'sattempts on Campus (1991), and former the cultures being studied were He also cited his own experiences movie and were excited because at] taking on The Review is like editor of the infamous Dartmouth themselves oppressive. Further- in India, where he lived until the they had never before heard of wrestling with a pig. Not only Review. He discussed the present more, the books that are selected age of 17, and noted the existence "Malcolm the Tenth." does everyone get dirty, but the state in American universities. as representative of a specific cul- of the caste system and the poor Liberal learning, D'Souza pig likes it." — Dinesh D'Souza Efforts to include "non-West- ture are more representative of the treatment of women. said, gets past the notions of race Dinesh D'Souza was the key- ern" texts in university reading political views of the university D' Souza called what was hap- and culture.For instance, he stated note speaker at the "University in lists, D'Souza said, were based on professor who chooses them. pening in American universities that ifhe took Martin Luther King Jeopardy" Conference held in To- the assumption by campus activ- D'Souza said mostclassic non- "bogus multiculturalism", since as his hero, King's idea could be ronto last Friday by The Society ists that Western Civilization is Western texts are far from politi- the books selected donot represent traced back to ideas such as those For Academic Freedom and Schol- oppressive and that it is necessary cally correct and show the preju- the "real version" of cultures but, of Ghandi and Thoreau, two peo- instead, cater to a political agenda. ple from very different races and This situation, he said, was creat- backgrounds. Youth lending a global hand ing a type of "cultural Olympics" D'Souza said that the current where everyone is looking at the debate about multiculturalism in reading Greg Sloan Cord News tures, discussion groups and workshops. Pape said list and asking "what did American universities is oneabout my guys [culture] do" the informal aspect is a large part of the week. and that equity. It is no longer simply about knowledge was almost being ad- whites, There are many opportunities to meet others blacks and but includes Interested in spendinga week in Tanzania, Africa, from around the world. dressedas though it has an "ethnic Hispanics, Aboriginals, Asians, patent." The with youth from over fifty countries? Youth Build- One of the goals of the organization is to allow end result of these and other groups. The focus, he controversies, he said, was that move ing The Future are looking for three delegates to a medium for youth to talk. Pape adds that many said, must from historical represent Canada at its annual international con- strong friendships have developed, and the confer- many students leave university grievances — of what one group's ignorant not — ference in August. ence has even resulted in a few marriages. only of other cul- ancestors did to another and to Youth Building The Future is an international One day is set aside for sightseeing of the host tures, but of their own. the enforcement of fair rules for D'Souza network focusing on social justiceand environmental country. Pape said that many delegates will spend said that any everyone now. Society needs to issues. The yearly conference examines different is- two to three additional weeks touring the country, multicultural system must teach move back from name-calling and about the sues each year. with delegates from Tanzania as their guides. home culture and he come with a new and better set of The theme of the conference is chosen by the host Pape said all applicants will be considered. asked the audience to imagine principles, he said, later stating from China country, and this year it is Youth and Employment. They are looking for flexible individuals who are someone who knew that "[the current debate] is poi- about Topics examined will include unemployment, in- keen and committed. Pape adds "it is a real learning Mark Twain, but not Confu- soned not by accusations of being cius. Yet Americans are creasing urbanization, and population pressures. experience, allowing you to learn about the issues often ig- mistaken but of being immoral." The Canadian delegation has always consisted of and make many new friends." University of Waterloo students. An Australian stu- The cost of the weekend isoffset by fundraising, 5-Week Experiential English Program dent studying at was the University of Waterloo done both by the committee at the University of • Intensive English Program for International students instrumental arranging the conference to held here Waterloo in and individually by the delegates. If any- • Ideal location in a small friendly town on the Ottawa River in 1988. is interested attending want to find out one in or • Morning classroom activities Andrew Pape, a past delegate, said organizing the more they should contact Andrew at 576-8887, or • Afternoon schedule includes supervised individual and conference involved a lot of people and built up a at as soon as possible. Diana 579-0776 group study; video and audio facilities strong interest within the University community. Written applications are to be in on Thursday, • swimming, tennis, canoeing, hiking, weekend field trips Pape said they are looking to expand their delega- March 25, but Pape said they will push back the • accommodation with a host family tion beyond University of Waterloo students. The first deadline for those who contact them immediately. For further information contact Margaret Elliott step in diversifying is for them to involve Laurier A selection meeting will be held on Monday, P.O. Box 1352 Deep River Ontario KOJ IPO students. March 29, at 5:00 in the University of Waterloo FAX The seven day conference includes key note lec- Campus centre. PH: 613-584-2293 613-584-4527 June 28-July 30, 1993 Ahem. announcement a announce our congratulatory I I congratulations for I One entry per person only. No purchase necessary. Please Print. ®

______. _ _ Name School w 1093/94 ■ Home Address V I

: Editor-in-Chief... I " n,„ „„„ „ r Deadline 5:00 p.m. March 31, 1993 _ F -■ School Address different) | . p u || contest rules are available In your local Travel Cuts/ Phone Voyages Campus office, or by mall from The Student Traveller, 243 su.«t, sth Floor, To.onto, omario, MST C 011... 2YI. Faculty Graduating year Age ■ Apple Is a registered trade mark of Apple Computer, Inc. m . J MM are „. t IM/% I Powerßook and Macintosh trade marks of Apple ... Please drop th,s mto the ballot box at Launer, prepare I Compu..,, Inc. entry

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Valid until March , 25/93 &0 CDICO MThis/ Dine-in Only 1 BURGER FRIES l\l "drink purchase necessary I "drink purchase necessary THE CORD Thursday. March 25. 1993 News 5 Breaking the Innerkip ice Bonnie Redekop Cord News Wildlife Federation. Stangroom, Approximately $350 was President of the Laurier Scuba raised for the Canadian Wildlife It's likely that for many Laurier Club, involved the students in the Federation, thanks tothe students' students, the only icebreaking diveat Innerkip. Eight K-W divers participation in the dive at that's taken place recently has participated in the event. The Innerkip. occurred at overflowing course involved two dives on Sat- Ice diving is an exciting sport, Kitchener-Waterloo bars. urday and one on Sunday. but can become dangerous if the For three Laurier students, the One common trait of scuba right precautions aren't taken, phrase "breaking the ice" took on divers is a concern for the environ- Cresswell said. Hypothermia, get- new meaning as they dove for char- ment. After all, who wants to go ting lost under the ice, and a frozen ity on the weekend of February 27 exploring among old rusty soda breathing apparatus are possible and 28. cans and other rubbish, in water risks. that Cresswell said that in order to Rob Cresswell, Jason that is so chemically polluted Taking an icy plunge for charity. Pic: Allan Parker Stangroom, and Allan Parker no living creature could possibly attempt this sport, the diver should headed out to Innerkip Quarry, survive in it? be courageous, be a strong swim- Before the diving could begin, down 30 feet, and venture 30 yards which is also called Trout Lake, on The dive provided Cresswell, mer, and have goodknowledge of a hole had to be cut through 14 away from the hole. The basic rule the Saturday and Sunday after Stangroom and Parker with the the sport of scuba diving. inches of ice. The divers, who went for length of time under the ice is Reading week. They participated opportunity to raise some money It might seem that ice diving down inpairs, wore a harness with a maximum of twenty minutes. in a certified ice diving course. for the environment and try some- would be a chillingly cold experi- a rope attached. Cresswell said that this was "a For those who don't know thing new at the same time. ence, but it's not much worse than Cresswell said that there is a unique and bizarre diving experi- where Innerkip Quarry is, it's lo- A booth in the Concourse on regular scuba diving as far as tem- code for tugging on the rope. A ence", and all three Laurier stu- cated about a half hour to 45 min- the Wednesday and Thursday be- perature is concerned. When de- certain number of tugs indicates dents would be happy to repeat it. utes away, between Waterloo and fore the dive, or a stop in Wilfs, scending far enough, the water is an emergency. Waiting in the They hope to take theplunge again London. gave Laurier students a chance to extremely cold whether it's sum- wings is a safety diver, in case next year, saying thatperhaps this The purpose of the dive was to contribute their loonies for the mer or winter. Parker said that "it something goes wrong. will turn the winter dive into an raise money for the Canadian cause. was warmer than October was.'* The divers were allowed to go annual event. World FARES* News "SjfWENTOLASS" Round- up

Compiled by Patty Chippa

Rumblings in Russia

(Moscow) Russian President Boris Yeltsin is on the verge of being impeached by the legisla- tive body of Russia. The Prez plans to hold a referendum in late April, where he will intro- (AT PRICES LOWER THAN YOUR Q.P.A.) duce a 'special rule' program, but the authorities are accusing him of breaching the constitu- Believe it or not, it costs even less to get to Europe this summer than it did tion. last summer. Flights are the cheapest they have been in over 15 years and TRAVEL CUTS is just around the corner to provide Laurlsr students with just the right ticket to Europe I Train tragedy in Florida (And railpass, and hostel card, and travel insurance, and ISIC, PLUS any other travel needs students may have). (Oakland Park) An Amtrak train collided with a gasoline tanker trapped in traffic last week,and In University Shops Plaza the impact caused a giant fire- ball explosion. The driver of the \\\, University £ tanker and five others died in \\\ R*ub«n& Shop* Plaza uj the disaster. \\\: Wongs p Protesters get hosed in mas- sive wet t-shirt contest McQlnnis =: \\k\ \ |£ (Venezuela) A water cannon University of \Vy\ / ) — *"Student Class" fares are available exclusively was used to break up a group of Waterloo j avenue west through TRAVEL CUTS and are available to full time 1000protesters in the Venezue- // lan capital, after the was students only. These Incredible feres won't last long. group y// //\ Married protesting the government's Students If you are planning a trip to Europe this summer, hurry economic policies. The A artments group P to TRAVEL CUTS and book space soon! was chanting and demanding

' justice for workers whilst they prices Excellent are available for non-students as well. romped in their wet clothes. Yikes.

Woman dumps'zombie' lover

1 The first 20 people to present j (Johannesburg) A man who was / ' this ad when they buy a declared dead from a tragic car ! accident has been rejected by _ mm EURAIL PASS will receive a FREE , Lonely Planet Guide To his fiance, because she believes Western Europe. he is a 'zombie'. The woman IllfUftkWI9 also believes the man came back Canadian Service 1 (retpjl vajue_s 1 Universities Travel Limited from the dead to haunt her. The poor guy is heartbroken and it doesn't help that his lover is calling him a zombie. THE 6 News CORD Bravery through sobriety

of Danish schnapps finally turn up that. Someone handed me a straw- It was one of those special my stomach started to chum and empty in our freezer six years after berry cooler. Mmmmmm. Then a moments. the bed was on spin cycle. it got shoved between a box of Fuzzy navel. Mmmmmm. A When my next birthdayrolled "Peder, Ingrid's sick. Get her steakettes and a bag of strawberry Screwdriver. A B-52. Another around, I found myself drunk some peppermint tea. She must RatingsThe nielsen preserves. cooler. Then a....it didn't matter again, only this time my friends have the flu." by Ingrid Nielsen The thought of my drinking anymore. couldn't quite sneak me past bor- My friends stood by flabber- never went over well with my par- At some point when I wasn't der patrol. gasted. The door swings open, and well- ents. My father always said, "Well, looking, someone had strung up As my three friends physically My dad walked in. He looked lit hallways are spread out like a you justwouldn't do anything that rope bridges between the tables, carried my into my bedroom as down. tranchilla. Picking one quickly stupid." and they shook dangerously with quietly as one can with a giggling "What's wrong?" and decisively, I smoothly From the time I was old enough every step. Even when you didn't maniac, the parents came to life. "Tuquillaaaaaaaa..." marched down the hall towards to know that chewing on tin foil move. "Ingrid, is that you?" "You're on your own." And it another fork in the road, then was the wrong thing to do, I also "BRUCE! Buddy, how are you Uh oh. Hee.Hee.Hee. was never discussed again. another. I remained in control, thought that drinking was justplain doing?" Meanwhile, one friend was Sitting with my uncle, he is choosing with only slight hesita- dumb. "Ingrid, you aren't...hey, you trying to find something for me to using words like escape, relief, tion. Entering teen-age hell meant are. You're drunk." throw up in, and the other friend habit. He talks about other people A sense of quietenvelopes the facing that mythical substance Bouncing from table to table, was helping to peel off my mini- at the clinic. One of them says he place, like you're afraid any noise head on. I watched the majority of friend to stranger, it seemed I was skirt. can't understand how people can might offend someone or come my friends drink. I saw them slob- the only one drunk in the whole "Honestly Ingrid, skirts this have one drink. But then you don't across the wrong way. Who knows ber, stumble, trip, giggle, belch, bar. Let's dance. Let's sing. Let's get drunk? What's the point? what to say in these situations? I and of course, puke. drink. That scares me because I've never do. What they didn't see was me "Ingrid, are you drunk?" heard myself say the same thing. Finally reaching what ap- picking them up, straightening "Yup." My uncle hates the clinic. He peared to be a reception desk, I them out, driving them home, and I was off to find Dave. I hadn't says he just goes along with what asked the nurse which direction I pouring them into bed. What was heard from Dave for a while and I the counsellors say so they'll leave should turn. She smiled. She's the big attraction with this stuff? was starting to become a little bit- him alone. It's all a game. He probably heard that question a This is just stupid. ter. He had said he'd call, but he doesn't have a problem, he says. million times. My friends were super cool hadn't. He is there by choice, and it's I looked over my shoulder, about the whole thing. No one ever "Dave, come here. I deserve actually quite a ritzy establish- and he was waiting for me in the pressured me to drink. They know this dance." ment. In his heart he realizes this cafeteria. Atfirstavoidingmyeyes, I'm stubborn, and like me just the With Miss American Pie blar- is the best escape he could find. hereached out and shookmy hand. way I am. I'm very lucky. ing, I decided wewould slow dance. Between being the nectar of I hadn't seen him in ten years, so But still, the time would come Dave is 6,4' and 190 pounds of the gods and the poison of the at first the familiarity was forced. when little Miss Sobriety would solid muscle. He followed my lead. devil, maybe alcohol does have a My uncle is at Homeward find out just why it is that drunk "So, why haven't you called place in society. I guess, for better Health Centre. He is an alcoholic. people giggle when you ask them me for three fucking weeks?," I File photo or worse, we each end up deciding I come from a long line of light to pass the salt. yelled with a grin and a tilt of my just what that place will be. drinkers. It's just not a common Being a female and rather tall, head. He just smiled, rather pa- tight can't be healthy." And with "Well, uncle George, you're thing in my family. I never had a lot of trouble getting tronizing, and continued to fully that the skirt popped off and she definately brave forcoming here." Oncemy parents had a case of into bars, so my nineteenth birth- support my entire body weight. rebounded off the far wall. "The brave part isn't coming 24 beers that lasted for two years. day wasn't a big deal. To me, it Before I had a chance to fur- Hee.Hee.Hee. here," he says with twitch of fear. The two of them will still split a was just another night at the bar. ther embarass myself, I did a full My mom peeked in the door, "The brave part is staying." beer with dinner. We had a bottle One beer. Yuck. I didn't like face plant into his chest. Thud. and heard me moaning in pain as Yeah, staying sober. March Madness at... I Why Rent? Be Your Own Landlord!!

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= I 746 -4111 J FREE DELIVERY IN WATERLOO I Royal Lepage Real Estate Services , THE CORD Thursday. March 25. 1993 News 7 BOG update Bag O' Crime

Lianne Jewitt CordNews Taylor and Bigioni plan to March 15 work together on the Board, deal- THEFT - (1320 hrs): A student reported the theft of his coat. The The word is out. Sean Taylor ing with present and upcoming complainant stated the theft occurred in the Turret between 0015 and and Dave Bigioni are the new issues. 0130 hrs, on Friday, March 12. student representatives on the One issue is the Faculty Agree- Board of Governors. ment, which starts negotiations March 16 soon. The Faculty Agreement fo- UNWANTED GUEST - (0700 hrs): A 40 year old male without a cuses on professors in terms of fixed address, who was found sleeping in the Niobe Lounge, was salaries and course evaluation. escorted off campus. The subject was given the address of a nearby Taylor wants to know, "what are house of friendship. the measures of teaching?". Taylor and Bigioni plan to March 17 Dave Bigioni. File photo boycott the current Teaching Evaluations, which attempt to next ten years." Where that money FIRST AID - (2315 hrs): A WLU student was transported to the K/ measure teacher performance, is going is a concern of the BOG. W Hospital. The victim slipped and fell on the ice on Chancellor's strongly believing them to be un- Issues are not presently in Drive striking the back of her head. The victim was unconscious for satisfactory. abundance, but Bigioni said "when approximately 15 minutes. Taylor encourages student in- an issue arises, we will be there to Sean Taylor. File photo put suggesting that students should provide an opinion and have a March 18 Taylor, who is also WLUSU voice what they expect from pro- strong voice." President next year, feels positive fessors. "We've both been studentrep- MISCHIEF - (0115 hrs): Two males were observed absconding with about taking on two jobs. "I can Another issue involves the resentatives before," Taylor said. one of the blue recycling bins from the StudentUnion Building. While represent students in two ways." Capitol Campaign. Bigioni said The two are confident that next being chased by the officer, the culprits dropped the bin on Albert Taylor added that, "students have that WLU plans to collect "thirty year will be a successful year for Street. Both were apprehended in a backyard in the vicinity of Albert been very receptive of the idea." million dollars in capitol over the the BOG. and Lester Street. They identified themselves as WLU students. March 19

FIRST AID - (0020 hrs): The ambulance was called for a stu- dent who became ill and was bringing up traces of blood. It was later reported that the vic- tim was treated for alcohol con- sumption and was not seriously ill.

March 20

BREACH OF PEACE - (0045 hrs): A 22 year old Kitchener male was taken into custody for creating a disturbance in the Student Union Building. The subject, in an intoxicated condi- tion, had soiled several pieces of the furniture in the television "sumcuss" lounge. The male was escorted off campus. The subject was not Ssl | university affiliated.

fares - BREACH OF PEACE (0046 To and from class...In a class of your ownI hrs): A 22 yearold WLU student who was ejected from the pubby Turret staff for disorderly con- duct, made an attempt to get back in and had to be physically Incredible student fares across Canada escorted down the stairs. Once outside, he was released into the custody of friends who offered AT PB/OES BELOW YOUTH STANDBY/ to take care of him.

BREACH OF PEACE - (0100 hrs): AUW student was arrested Flights are available one way or return In University Shops Plaza for starting a fight in the Turret. Investigation revealed the sus- Valid for up to one year pect became enraged when a 4* a [S] | female refused to dance with him. He then physically attacked Very few restrictions % a male whom he believed to be -4» the lady's companion and University of ' to _ \VV\ pushed him the floor. The ",,rlo° X Designed by TRAVEL CUTS exclusively w )) *®«« «<"• fight was broken up by Turret staff and the subject was taken for full time students // mm i into custody. Investigation re- X/ ///7\\ Bludente Ap«ftwni> vealed that the subject had been ejected from the Turret on a previous occasion for bad be- haviour, and was warned not to come back. Consequently he was

* issued a summons under the Trespass Act. Pending the out- come of the investigation, he may also face assault charges.

DISORDERLY CONDUCT - (2130): A WLU student, due to his intoxicated condition, was refused entry and made several HIBAmCIfrS■ mmffmw Wkmrnm W■ 40 Thm Tfravol Company of tho attempts to sneak past Turret iw TM Canadian Universities Travel Service Limited Canadian Fodoratlon of Studonts staff. THE CORD 8 News Thursday, March 25. 1993 Advice for student BOGs

Mike Loeters Commentary First, I want our representa- to ensure that they do is to get them each other, our voice can be heard trolling our future. tives to consult the student body on togetherregularly to come to these and be stronger. And as students we must take As many students have probably a regular basis by setting up a table common positions. We are not As students the one thing we the little time and effort it takes to figured out by now, the Senate in the Concourse on a monthly electing them solely on their views, must remember is that we are the learn about the issues, learn about and Board of Governors (BOG) basis. The purpose of this would be but also how well they will repre- university. Without us this institu- the candidates, and make an intel- elections are on. And I would to continually inform the student sent our views. tion is nothing. And with such ligent choice on our ballot. like to make some recommenda- population on the issues they are importance we should demonstrate Ask questions, present your tions to those who have their being asked to take a position on, Good advice to the faculty, administration, and views, and hold our representa- names up for election and the and receive feedback from stu- alumni that share the Senate and tives accountable. It is a privilege student voters. dents on these issues. for student BOG with us, that we are ready to and a right that should not be A very apparent problem that How does a representative play our important role. tossed away. I have noticed since I've been here, think he/she is acting on behalfof My recommendations, I real- And if you choose not to vote, is that no one knows who our the student body if they never con- BOG members ize, will require some extra time I want to remind you that you will student representatives are! Can sult them! (And roommates don't and commitment onbehalf of those have no legitimate right to bitch you name at leastthree from either count by-the-way) This is a seri- With the number of seats that who end up winning the available when your classes get too large, the Senate or BOG? Probably not, ous problem thatm ust be corrected. we hold in both these bodies, we seats, but to take these jobs seri- when you have no courses tochoose and this is the fault of both those The second partofthis regular can be an effective force for get- ously one must be willing to put from, or when you're upset about who have been our representatives consultation with the student body ting our agenda met. Divided, we the work into them. If you are not the way your tuition isbeing spent. and the student population. would be to give the students the are weak and fragmented and this ready to make this type of commit- NOTE: The proceeding rec- These two bodies are vitally opportunity to see who their repre- is nothing less than an embarrass- ment your name should be with- ommendations belong solely to me important to us (as students) and sentatives are. ment to the student body. drawn immediately. As students and no candidate has my permis- our every day lives here at WLU. We musthave notonlyaname, By our representatives com- we do not wantthose who are only sion to take them andpresent them The Senate is the body which but also a face that people can spot municating with students and with looking to pad their resumes con- as their own. makes the decisions about aca- in a hall andapproach to talk about demic issues, and the BOG deals a particular issue. This is called with more financial issues. Now if accountability and accessibility, we think for a second, we see that and could be a new phenomenon we are essentially talking about in Laurier's future. the bodies that influence every A second recommendation I aspectof our academic lives (what would like to put forward is the we are all here for), and the spend- establishment of a regular meet- ing of our tuition (which we pay ing of the Senate and BOG repre- through ourhard work and sweat). sentatives to educate themselves I think that we can now conclude on the issues and come to a com- that these bodies are very impor- mon stance. tant. Our representatives in both A recommendation I want to bodies should be voting the same officially put forward to whoever way, with the same position, on all wins is in two parts. student issues. And the only way

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MONTREAL (CUP) — For chanted "ni pape, ni juge, ni abortion was struck from the also based on the practical under- silenced. There were women and years I have been active in the medicin, ni conjoint, c'est aux Criminal Code. standing of women's desperate, men standing up pronouncing on campaign for the right of women femmes de decider" through the My stand on the abortion issue often fatal attempts to make them- abortion, telling me what their to have free, accessible and safe streets of Montreal. I rejoiced was derived in part from the belief selves "regular." Women have church, their parents, their friends abortions. During the Chantal with thousands in Toronto out- that women have the right to con- been killing themselves for centu- think of abortion. I wanted to get Daigle summer, I proudly side the Morgentaler clinic when trol their reproductive lives. It was ries. up and explain to everyone what it Until a few months ago, I had meant to me to be able to exercise successfully avoided a dreaded choice but I was frozen in my seat. Science hitwithmajor cutbacks unwanted pregnancy. But in June, How many people would have I was confronted with the "choice." judged, even indicted me for my Carey Waters Cord News For many reasons, both personal actions? How many women in that and practical, I chose to terminate room had had abortions and were The university budget crunch has hit many pro- the pregnancy. silenced by the atmosphere that grams and faculties across Wilfrid Laurier. The The experience made me real- was tainted with the assumption Chemistry department is no exception. Lab sec- ize the profound silence that sur- that abortion is not a student is- tions for required courses are full and many stu- rounds abortion. It is one thing to sue? How many of us felt unsafe in dents are finding themselves on huge waiting lists talk about whetheror not oneagrees a room full of our peers? The per- for next year. with "choice". It is quite another sonal is political but politics is There are several courses that have been hard hit. to talk about the experience itself. slow to give the personal a public Second year Organic Chemistry already has all 50 lab positions occupied. I found that the space in any real more I discussed Third year Biochemistry is also full, with all 20 The profound way. lab positions taken. Dr. Kominar, Associate Professor my own experi- This is not and Interm Chairperson of the Chemistry Depart- ence; the tremen- simply a pro- ment, said that there are waiting lists of the same size dousrelief, the sad- silence that choice tirade. It is as the actual classes for these required courses. ness, the creeping an attempt to "A lot of concerns have been expressed by stu- guilt, the more I point out that dents," Kominar said. The Chem 200 and Chem 330/ heard voices of surround s abortion there exists a si- 331 are prerequisites for any student enroled Hon- women who felt as lence from in Not looking into cutbacks. Pic Harvey Luong ours and General Bsc. programs such as Chemistry, I did. But like me, they had no women who have the information Biology or Psychology. "It's all part of a funding problem," Kominar forum or place to allow the neces- and experience that could contrib- The Honours Chemistry program is in its fourth says. "With fewer funds from the government, the sary healing to happen. ute in a substantial way to the year of operation. When the course was designed the university has to cut back somewhere." In the informal discussions abortion debate. Being decidedly requirements set were for two full-time technicians. "I'm still optimistic that we'll come to some among women who have had abor- pro-choice does not make abortion There is still only one technician. "Werealized that if kind of accommodation," Kominar said. The wait- tions, we are beginning to under- an easy decision, nor does the fact we were going to launch the program we would need ing lists will shrink somewhat but they still will be stand what the experience means that it is no longer illegal mean certain resources," Kominar said. "We still haven't substantial. Kominar said the department is waiting and how to integrate it into our that society, or even your peers, found the resources on the technical side". to see how acute the problem is and then they will lives. will not judge us as immoral. With The problem is not so much one of space, but decide where to go. The department has the names It struck me while at meeting abortion we need no longer face a equipment manpower. and phone numbers the people on waiting rather of lack of and Because of all the of students who were trying to death or a criminal record, but we of this restriction, the courses are unable to expand lists. "We get back to them when we decide what will decide whether to endorse a pro- live in silence in acommunity that with the growing enrolment. to do," Kominar said. choice platform, that I had been is intolerant of our choice.

,-: WgM!mmmm%i =•*■. ' #...,• •#■&& ..«|MBWwK: : :>V; ■.. g capitalism's pretty good. At QiJn's \ WSp' ,: we think so, too* That's why we j K^.:,....,« 3fcM IBW introduced $1.99 Recession Busters,i ? '.■jBBBBBBBBeBBBM j j!■ THE CORD 10 News Thursday. March 25. 1993 Going to school in France

Wendi Oakes Special shorts. The interesting part of this sea level. The view ofthe Mediter- story is that we were both reading ranean is picturesque and changes As the temperature drops to well novels for our English courses at daily with the weather. below zero on a wet and snowy the time. The weather is not tropical, Waterloo morning, many stu- UCF is a Canadian university but much more pleasant than the dents dream of going south into which offers credit courses in arts, harsh Canadian winters. France the sunshine for a little rest and humanities, and social sciences as has its share of cold, damp, wet relaxation away from those de- well as the opportunity of Euro- days, but the sunny and unseason- pressing winter days. pean travel and experiencing life ably warm ones make it worth- Many times this dream is in- on the French Riviera. while. terrupted by the reality that school The time we spent at UCF will The classrooms, student vil- must go on and escaping to the sun hold some long-lasting memories. las, and surrounding estate land will not lead you along the path Here you discover that the learn- are owned by Blyth and Company

towards graduation. ing process goes far beyond the — an educational travel agency However, this fall, Sarah classroom as you travel to Euro- based in Toronto. Theactual school Horsley and I managed to get the pean cities that you have only seen is affiliated with Laurentian Uni- best ofboth worlds at the Universite in pictures. You learn about your- versity, making it easy to transfer Canadienne en France (UCF). On selfand about people from all over credits back to your own school. Universite Canadienne en France. Pic courtesy of Sarah Horsely November 27, 1992, we were sit- Canada and the world. Depending on what your ma- We found it to be an excellent ganizes numerous events each ting on the terrace of our clay- The campus is situated ap- jor is, the courses that are avail- place to do elective courses in dis- week and student leaders hired by roofed villahigh atop MontLeuze, proximately six kilometres east of able at UCF will be differentfrom ciplines that we would not nor- UCF arrange special excursions overlooking the city of Nice in our Nice and six hundred metres above those to which you are accustomed. mally look into. and activities. Course selection each term is This past semester students limited, but it changes each se- had the opportunity to travel to Helping childrenlearn toread mester. French is mandatory for Geneva, Avignon, Carmargue, as all students and a placement test at well as local outings such as the Adrienne Kolotylo Cord News a literacy program for adults. the start of each term will ensure Mont Carlo Philharmonic, the Moffat says that the group is presently in a test that you are at the correct level. Nice Opera, skating,French films, Laurier Students for Literacy is facing a most phase and has plans to improve and expand opera- UCF is not a place where you and dinner in Vieux Nice. peculiar problem — a heavy surplus of student tions with their next start-up in September. There can go for a year and return home Students at UCF often feel iso-

volunteers and a shortage of children to participate are only two Saturday morning sessions left in this totally bilingual unless you make lated — being "stranded" on the

in their weekly reading circles. school year. However, limited sessions will be run- the effort. UCF students like to mountain — but this does not have Formed in early January, Laurier Students for ning independently throughout the summer. refer to the campus as "Little to be the case. For those who can Literacy has approximately thirty-five volunteers tak- Despite the abundance of volunteers, Moffat Canada". afford it, cars and scooters are a ing part in the weekly hour and a halfreading circles. still encourages students to get involved. "The joy English is spoken a great deal, good way to get around town. They only have five or six children who regularly that the children get out of reading is more than but those who wish to speak French Those on tighter budgets will have attend the sessions. enough satisfaction for your time. It is a lot of fun." will be able to do so with the staff to utilize the local bus system. Reading is losing big-time to television. Televi- Any children willing to participate can sign up and other students. There are days For more information contact sion offerskids a lot more. They need to know reading at the registration booth every Saturday at 10:30 in and times each week on campus : UCF Student Ambassador, Sarah is fun", says Craig Moffat, the volunteer co-ordinator the Athletic Complex. that are designated for French Horsely (416) 727-7236, of the program. He hopes to bring the program to high Students wishing to volunteer can contactCraig speaking only. Laurentian University 1 -800-461- school students next, and eventually hopes to include Moffat through the Student Union. Socially, a student council or- 4030. Grad at the Prices: Lau^^^^^w $16.00* / person / night Rooms available: Single & double rooms Thursday, May 27 * taxes included Friday; May 28 Saturday, May 29 Grads stay Clara Conrad 'Hilton' Rooms avoilable for parents in Bricker 'Ramada' Payment By Cash or Cheque THE CORD Thursday. March 25. 1993 News 11 New Pubs board members Laurier exhibits Kat Honey Cord News Cord or Keystone. local art Barry plans to encourage election day editori- talent JeffOegema, Sue Barry, and Chris Bradley are als if all candidates are represented in the editori- the three newly acclaimed members to the Stu- als. She did not approve of editorials promoting dent Publications Board of Directors. one candidate without another editorial promoting Jeff Oegema other candidates. Oegema plans to start off by "getting the big There are many good things in the Cord picture about how things work inside the Cord". Constitution, said Barry, but it is limiting. She Oegema does notlike the useofprofanity in the plans to discuss the Constitution with Sheldon Cord. He said that it sometimes served a purpose, Page, Editor in Chief for next year. Barry said she but did not approve of "extra swearing for shock would like to give the Constitution some input. value". Chris Bradley Encouraging reporters to seek accuracy in Chris Bradley said his role as a Board member their articles was another goal of Oegema. was "to make the Board ensure the paper acts as the To encourage involvement, Oegema plans to students wish it to." have five minute talks about Student Publications Bradley plans to develop a set of goals with the with first year classes at the start of next year. Board, the Keystone, and the Cord. "This year will Oegema currently has no plans for the Key- be a series of challenges and opportunities for us," stone. said Bradley. He hopes to make sure all opportuni- Sue Barry ties are realized. Sue Barry said she plans to begin by learning Bradley also plans to make sure people's opin- more about the Cord. ions are heard and voiced, through continuing the Barry would pursue the liaison system, where Feedback Booth program, and getting people in- each Board member works with a section of the volved and friends to participate. New OFS name Lee Hewitt Cord News "This is a federal nation," said OFS was formed in 1972, and Craft. The move will facilitate the press release states that its In a communique released on students "organizing at the local, membership is 200,000 students March 11, the Ontario Federa- provincial and national level," he at 30 post-secondary institutions. tion of Students announced that added. CFS was created in 1981, as they were changing their name. Craft denies that the name an umbrella group for various stu- OFS will now be known as the change wasa knee-jerk reaction to dent groups, like the OFS. It states Canadian Federation of Students- the formation of the Ontario Un- that itrepresents 450,000 students Ontario, or by the acronym CFS- dergraduate Student Alliance, or at 70 colleges and universities O. the recent anti-CFS referendum at nationwide. CFS -OChairperson Ken Craft the University of Waterloo. The mission of the CFS is to said that the name was changed to Right now, Craft added, the "defend the rights and interests of promote "student solidarity in CFS is not recognizing the results students at the national and pro- Checking out the art work. Pic: Camille Archer Canada." of that referendum. vincial levels." COME IN AND EAT BEFOREWE BOTH STARVE V* *1

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' Valid now until April 17, 1M3. • IBWrrrfSil jggg* Petsche's Shoes JLnnMMmm .n»«g|i..« 259 Kins St. W., Kitchener 745-7442 ,t>wW | I Open Mon.-Sat. 9:30-5:30 NHL trade Iron Hawk deadline lives!!! SPORTS page 14 page 15 SPORTS EDITOR: EVAN BAILEY Spoltore Rookie of the Year Evan Bailey Cord Sports Last Thursday, March 18, John Spoltore of the Golden Hawks hockey team was named as the United Parcel Service (UPS) Rookie of the Year. As you may know from read- ing the Hawk of the Week column in which Spoltore has made frequent appearances, John is a 21 year old Elmira native who is majoring in the Arts pro- gram. The selection of Spoltore for the award was made easy when seeing his contribution to the team, 21 goals and 45 assists in 21 regular season games. Spoltore's 66 points lead the CIAU, and according to York Yeoman coach Graham Wise, is "pretty amazing for a first year player." Spoltore was chosen over Derek Kletzel of the Acadia Axemen and Greg Gatto of the Lethbridge Pronghorns who were the Atlantic and Western confer- ence nominees. Mark McCreary, the Golden Hawk captain, was nominated for the CIAU most valuable player award. Although he did not win, there is nothing wrong with being one of the top three university Ryan Campbell (left) most sportsmanlike player and John Spoltore (third from left) rookie of the year receive their respective trophies players in the nation. The new car guy battles elements for first road test Bannon Kopco Cord Sports road today. Like-it-or-not, the changing the engine, and adding a styling of this automobile almost few panels here and there. The Times are tough. OK, I single-handedly changed the na- performance data just isn't wanted to knock-your-socks-off tion's ideas as to what enough to warrant it. with my first road test but, automobiles should look like. It The LX wagon I recently weather was certainly not permit- was the first reasonably-priced tested was an exceptionally nice ting. I'm not sure what it was like 'prototype' looking car on the car. The ergonomics were very around here last weekend, but market. And because of this, Ford good, with the driver well in back where I'm from it was realized immense profits, leaving reach of all the controls. Some- downright awful. Dealers just the other bigs racing for competi- thing that bothered me, however, didn't want to lend me their pride tion. was the fact that a black rubber Ford Taurus, more than four wheels and a seat pic : Carguide and joy in the 50+ mph winds, The LX model is what I'm 'insulation' seemed to be creep- it the edge in many drag races, it with the black ice and flurries. I talking about, not the much- ing around the doors, into the car. grammable, and I was assured the easy, confident don't understand it, some guys heralded SHO model, with the The only problem with this was from a friend, who owns a first- allows driver passage through traffic. It ac- can be so strange. DOHC Yamaha-designed engine, that the inside of the Taurus hap- generation Taurus, that it'll still celerated from 0-100 in a So, it seems that my premiere giving it the most horsepower for pened to be a light brown, so the get hot fast, even when it's older. km/hr time of 9.4 seconds, and covered road test is going to have to be on a front wheel drive car on the black substance was extra- Power in my Taurus was sup- quarter-mile 17.0, at a the 1993Ford Taurus LX. road. Not that I have anything annoying. plied by the 3.8 L OHV V6, which the in of 130 The Taurus line was intro- against the SHO, it's a beautiful Vision was quite good, with could put out 140 hp at 3800 rpm speed km/hr. Braking is a disc-drum duced about a half decade ago, piece of machinery. It's just that I the usual idiosyncrasies associa- (torque was 215 lb-ft @ 2200 power panic stops and it has spawned one of the can't seem to understand how ted with driving such a long rpm). This is more than ample system, allowing for most talked about, as well as one you can 'up' the price of a car by vehicle. Climate controls were power for speed and towing from 100-0 km in less than 127 Handling as as it was of the most purchased cars on the ten thousand dollars just by easily understandable and pro- ability. While not enough to give feet. well able to stop, the Ford thundered through the slalom at approxi- mately 100 km/hr (which, for The hard guy slams TSN's Sportsdesk trivia's sake is better than the M-

- B 400E, as well as the BMW Chris Werynski Cord Sports hiccups. Good ol' Teresa isn't ran out of those extra-strength (Exhibit I Pittsburgh Pirates) Oh

- 750iL). To get this week's edition of nearly as bad as Brendan Connor, camel tranquilizers. ya you better not pick a favorite This Taurus cost $26,000, and qui est dure rolling, I who just so happens to be I think its time someone said player on the team you support L'Homme it fully loaded with would like one of my alert nominated for 1993 Tool of the something about free agency in because he will probably be gone came

- CD/cassette, automatic climate readers to explain what the hell Year. This joker's mere presence the N.F.L.. Steve Simmons, who sooner than later. (Exhibit II control, ABS, dual pas- Teresa Hergert of T.S.N, meant lowers the I.Q. of everyone else writes for the Toronto Sun when Dave Winfield) Who gives a shit senger/driver SRS airbags, and on Saturday said; "We on the show by at least 50%. he isn't placing medals around about the fans? when she everything. It was a on a correc- Now I know I've written his own neck, actually wrote a And how about those salaries power would like to pass one ? - pleasant experience to drive, tion. We said the Leafs are UN- countless articles on the comedy good article last week on this Exhibit 111 Mike Gallego had that I was not looking forward to, BEATEN in their last 10 home of errors that is T.S.N. very subject. But what do I think? been compared to a pile of feces yet I left smiling. The Taurus LX games, but we meant to say that Sportsdesk, but this one was an It sucks. with legs, but the Yankees still station wagon is easily an SHO they are UNDEFEATED in those absolute gem. Shortly after their Think about what it did to signed him to a 5.1 million dollar a price, minus a bit of 10 games." vocabulary lesson of unbeaten vs. baseball. There is so much player contract last year. He got hurt, with better snarl. Why thankyou Teresa. I have undefeated, Sergei Fedorov's movement from year to year that and sucked royally when he ?? I'd like to drive every car on a correction of my own to make. name was pronounced three dif- it makes it hard for the average played..but did the Yanks learn the market, but there just isn't You clowns at Sportsdesk don't ferent ways in one group of fan to keep pace. Teams that were They signed future Hall of Famer time. If there's any suggestions make the odd error, you make highlights. Yes, it was time to pay built from scratch can be torn Spike Owen to a seven million on what you would like me to more mistakes than a bunch of a visit to the medicine chest to try apart quickly in a couple of years dollar deal this year. Its out of drive, please contact the Cord of- near-sighted the and relieve my agony. Too bad I if the salaries get out of hand. naga pilots with continued en 15 fice. THE CORD 14 Sports- Thursday. March 25. lags» Men on the NHL trade deadline humiliated at the Nationals on have to be the two remaining fa- should win the belt from Sunday. The Acadia Axemen vorites left in the tournament. But champion Bret Hart. In the WWF MEW on romped over the Varsity Blues, then again... though, what should happen and 12-1, to capture the national Is anyone else as sick of what does happen are often two SPORTS move of the as we are? things. by Jim Lowe, Brian championship. The TSN's SportsdeSk different probably Gear and Adam Holt finals to Maple Leaf Gardens did Besides having the Finally, we at Men on Sports help the attendance as expected. worst anchors in the business would like to congratulate Jenn "Sweet Shooting" John There were 7,800 spectators to (Brendan Connor and Vic O'Connell. Next year, Jenn will Spoltore, the O.U.A.A.'s leading witness Acadia's first title. Rauter), the order in which the be the Cord's Woman on Sport, scorer this season, scored his big- This weekend was disastrous stories are presented is pitiful. becoming the paper's first, fe- gest goal of the year this for many March Madness pool- Who wants to see golf highlights male sports editor. weekend, capturing the sters. Men on Sports have to be ahead of NHL or NCAA MEN ON SPORTS SUPER C.I.A.U.'s Rookie of the Year included in that grouping. The highlights? PICS: honours. Spoltore was, quite Seton played a As highlights in world Hall Pirates like for the AH) 25/03/93 Mtl (V) simply, amazing this year. Along was over bunch of hungover drunks in their of hockey, Esa Tikkanen Bos...Divisional final preview with Mark McCreary, who was The New York Tikkanen pic : Sports Illustrated loss to West Kentucky, while the finally traded. 26/03/93 Cgy (V) over player year, Duke Blue out match has to be the nominated for of the Devils stunk the Rangers acquired the million dol- awaited Vcr...Flames rebound Spoltore seemed to own the ice exchange "Pineapple Head" Crush and joint versus California. Arizona lar defensive forward in 27/03/93 Phi (V) over and was a pleasure to watch. it, in Doug Weight. Some- Doink the Clown. Who can't love and Georgia Tech also blew for winger Que...Eric's splendid return Congratulations to men. to get ex- this fabulous clown that plays both the first round even. On the posi- how though, it's hard 27/03/93 Hfd (V) on those who most over Staying on the topic of uni- tive side, Wake Forest, Vander- cited about this deal. "The Tik" pranks Min...Falling stars versity hockey, it was nice to see bilt and Florida State look strong. has been on the downhill slide for deserve it. Expect Doink to send Record: 3/13 (Last Week, the University of Toronto North Carolina and Michigan a while now. The only thing that Crush back to Hawaii in a real 1/5) the trade does show is that the funny package. BG) 25/03/93 Tor (V) over dismantling of the Oilers con- As for the other matches, we Min...Chicken nuggets play better tinues. hope that the Hulkster's return is 25/03/93 Chi (H) over Buf... As the trading deadline neared a disappointing one. Hogan and Michel Goulet is my real dad on Monday, three teams that ap- his partner, Brutus Beefcake now 26/03/93 Win (H) over StL...I peared to be bulking up for the sporting an idiotic mask, are get- was drunk while making this pick playoffs were Chicago, Van- ting really old, really fast. Its 27/03/93 Pit (V) over Bos...The couver and Montreal. Murray doubtful, however, that their op- bartender in Wilf's said so Craven, who seemed to on the ponents, Money Inc. will fare Record: 8/17 (Last Week, 3/5) verge of getting traded to eleven well against the steroid laden JL) 25/03/93 Bos (H) over different teams, wound up in Hogan and his hard luck pal. Mtl...Holt can't be right

Vancouver, in exchange for The card's best match should 25/03/93 Ott (H) over TB ... Robert Kron. Montreal acquired be the clash between Mr. Perfect Sweet Senators! veteran defenceman Rob Ramage and the Narcissist, while the Un- 26/03/93 Chi (V) over while Chicago snatched up anoth- dertaker/Giant Goofball match NYR...Hawks are strong er Oiler, Craig Muni. will reveal how incompetent the 27/03/93 NJ (V) over As spring arrives, you know big man is. Wsh...Devils have gotta win it's time once again for Wrest- As for the title match, nobody sometime W.L.OHoward and Michigan barely staved alive STUDENTS UNION pic : Sports Illustrated lemania. The most eagerly as fat and ugly as Yokozuna Record: 9/17 (Last Week, 4/5) THE CORD Thursday. March 25, 1993 Soorts 15 Cast Iron Hawk abdominals competition body fat. Ironman fraser kirby Cord Sports raise your legs to perpendicular. Secondly, begin an exercise An alternative is to bring your From the ancient Greeks to program that fits your fitness knees to your chest, just make the modern Californians, one goals. To hit the abdominals spe- sure you concentrate on your abs physical attribute has symbolized cifically you need to be aware of doing all the work. fitness and strength; the ab- a few things. Your abs consist of Hanging leg raises are a little dominals. three major groups; your obli- more difficult, but are more effec- A strong and defined plate of ques, which are at the side, and tive. Most gyms have a leg lift abs can make a great difference in your upper and lower abs, which machine. The machine basically the look and feel of a body. are at the front. allows you to hang in a semi- Strong abdominals can also To exercise your abs properly comfortable position while rais- decrease the risk of lower back you need to hit all three groups. ing your legs to your chest. and hip problems because they Your upper abs are the easiest Obliques are also easy to hit, provide additional support to to hit. Crunches are a favourite but more difficult to really burn, these heavily stressed areas. exercise for abs. The best crun- especially for men. Trunk rota- The aesthetics of better abs ches are the simplest. Lay on the tions or trunk bends with cannot be denied. floor with your feet on a bench, dumbbells are your best bet. As students we are often real- legs bent at the knee, thighs per- Once you have developed an ly susceptible to the midriff roll pendicular to the ground. Sit up ab base add one or two other ab syndrome because we drink to toward your knees, keeping your exercises to increase overall much, eat poorly and don't ex- butt flat on the ground. Con- strength. I recommend Roman ercise enough. The first step to centrate on curling your body up chair sit-ups, which are basically getting a flat stomach is to change with your abs only. a sit up from a hanging position. our diets. Your lower abs require a little Most boxers and wrestlers swear A sensible diet plan which more effort to hit. The best lower by this exercise to increase ab cuts out fat and consists of less ab exercises are leg lifts or hang- strength. Don't be afraid to add calories is a good start. The ing leg raises. Leg lifts can be ac- weight to your ab exercises. in be Andrew Yearwood, Laurier's ironman pic : Scott McKay greatest abs the world could complished by lying on a bench Because abs are stabilizer hidden beneath a layer of excess with your butt on the end. Now muscles it isn't necessary to work them for long periods. Ab binges are not generally a good idea. Most stabilizer muscles respond better to regular work outs which are controlled and concentrated and which go through the full contraction. You will find they tire quickly and recover slowly. Four to five sets of 15-25reps per exercise with 3-6 exercises per day is plenty. Remember when beginning abs to be careful of your lower back. It will take time and patience to build good abs, but it is well worth the trouble. agency no pump■ Free ■ continued from page 13 control. (Exhibit IV -the Yankees' team urinal cake changer makes 1.2 million) air The N.F.L. is following suit. no Bailey the Bills (aver- Carlton of age talent) will now make more next year with the Giants (1.7 mill/yr) than Lawrence Taylor.

The bidding has begun - and the rich teams should get richer. no Want an example of how bullshit ' ' w... ridiculous this has been already? v? The Jets are trying to sign all-pro % DL Reggie White. When Reggie

lightweight e . mentioned he would be more in- terested if the Jets acquired comfortable ; Boomer Esiason, the Jets traded if. for Boomer the NEXT DAY. This is going to get out of hand.

(Exhibit V - I would EAT the urinal cakes for 1.2 million) A dual-densitypolyurethane sole is injected directly onto a quality < Home Base Neill-Wycik. We turn T.O. into your home base this Summer! Not quite for free... but close...

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133 Weber St. N ineillWtcik Next to the Zellers Plaza Write Neill-Wycik Co-op College Inc. Waterloo ■!■ I#V 96 Gerrard E. Toronto MSB IG7 746-4983 liilV^ Call 1-800-268-4358 —tr FOOTWEAR Toronto (416) 977-2321 THE CORD 16 Feature Thursday, March 25. loo? Housing horror stories Lee Hewitt Cord Features In order to prevent further flooding, the student bought sili- are a lot of houses out cone and sealed the window tight. there with reputable land- However, the next time water Therelords and adequate accom- seeped through the window, the modations. But for some, tenancy sealant broke, creating a river of in off-campus housing can turn water flowing down from the win- into a nightmare. dow. Here are the stories of two The student was still sleeping such cases. The names have with- in his living room. He wanted out held to provide confidentiality. of the lease, and told the landlord One Laurier student had a dis- so. The landlord threatened legal astrous first year housing experi- action. ence. "So," the student said, "I "It was the first place I found," rented a Thrifty van and left in the he said. "I looked at it and snapped middle of the night." The landlord it up. It was a regular house." has not spoken to him since. The student had a basement Another Laurier student had a room, which caused him no prob- similar experience. In first year, lem initially. Then, at Christmas she took the first place she looked break, water began to seep through at. "It was a really stupid thing to his window, and eventually flooded do," she said. the entire room. The accommodation in ques- He called the landlord, who tion was a four-person townhouse. A poor housing decision can mess you up for the entire year File photo proceeded to wet-vacuum the rug. The landlord lived on the premises, No repairs were done to the win- and there was no written lease water, and the flushing of toilets. "It became a war," the student She suspects that the landlord dow. agreement. One student was reprimanded for said, "She didn't have any respect had a hand in removing the docu- The room flooded three more The landlord would enter the typing an essay late at night. Also, for us as tenants." ments because they were never times over the next month. The women's premises without the the roommates were told that all The roommates sought legal found. landlord did nothing but wet- standard 24 hour notice, the stu- windows in the apartment were to advice in order to alleviate the This student wanted to break vacuum the carpet three more dent said.One timewhen the house remain closed at all times, said the problem. They had copies of the her lease by way of the courts. times. was empty, the student said she student. Landlord-Tenant Act, and perti- However, the time and money in- By this time, the student'scar- took the liberty of "defrosting our If the roommates "crossed" nent sections of it highlighted. volved in such an action made it pet stunk so badly from water dam- fridge...and going through our the landlord, the students said re- However, the student said, impossible. age that it had to be removed. His rooms while she was at it. percussions would take place. She when they returned from a week- If this student has any advice furniture, especially his water bed, "She had some crazy re- "would leave little white end away, the information was for Laurier students looking con- were all warped from the water. quests," the student said. These notes...bitching at us," or at times, gone. The occupants proceeded to ducting a first time housing search, I le was forced to sleep in the living requests included silence after mid- she would turn off the heat for the search the house for the docu- it is this: "Look around. Don't take room. night, forbidding the running of women's apartment. ments. They could not be found. the first place you see."

It is that time of year again. The 1992-93 Looking for a school term is winding down, and it is time to think about next year. few good tenants One ofthe most pressing items on the agen- Lee Hewitt Cord Features are irresponsible landlords and irresponisblc tenants and das ofmany students is finding a place to live they always seem to find each other." ThereThis the statement of an area landlord, Ken Morrison, concern- off campus for 1993-94 ing the landlord business of renting. lle describes a "good tenant" as someone "who is clean, doesn't do Even though it is late the Laurier damage to the place..." and doesn't make a lot of noise or have a lot of in term, parties. Morrison finds that students are "mostly good" and that, in his 25 students don't have to panic yet. years of work, he has only "had minor problems." "Everything I get is on reference," he said, in explaining how he "Vacancy rates are up," said WLU's Direc- screens tenants. "I give them a nice place to live," Morrison said, "and they treatme with respect." tor of Housing Mike Belanger. "The prices Robert Grandy, another K-W landlord shared a similar outlook on his career. However, he has should be the same as last year, and you had some negative experi- ences with his tenants. should have a reasonable selection [of A few years ago, in Igive thema Grandy's rental property, "one houses].'' or two students [in a house of niceplace tolive five] were in party mode...and they turned the others to the and theytreat me Vacancy rates have increased in 1993,to 5.5 dark side." withrespect" There were newspapers strewn all over the house, he per cent. The norm is five per cent. Compare said. "It was a fire hazard," he explained, so he was forced to clean it up. It this to six or seven years ago, when Belanger was, he said, a representation of how dirty the house was. When tenants have moved out in the past, Grandy has discovered said the vacancy rate was 0.2 per cent. "holes in the wall" and one time that a railing was forcibly removed. However, he called these expenses "the price of doing business." There are still lots ofhouses to be found out Grandy also had a problem with a subletter one year. This person, he said, stole money from the tenants. lie also collected money from The other subletters for the hydro bill, and then refused to pay it. there. This is Cord's investigation of Another thing the subletter did was to leave a fridge full of meat to decay after he left. what (and what not) to do in your search for However, Grandy says these situations are "exceptions to the rule." He feels that with proper communication and respect that a off-campus housing. tenancy agreement can be satisfactory for both the landlord and the tenant. THE CORD Thursday. March 25. 1993 Feature 17 Get a rental education Lee Hewitt Cord Features said. A good place to find housing sponsi- Bclanger warns that a tenant lists are in the classified ads of ble for "should no to be fooled by a $500 ducate yourself." This is newspapers, or at the list at the subten- key deposit." It a deposit exceeds Directorof Housing Mike Housing Office itself. ants, he the amount of the reasonable cost Belanger's advise on how When deciding on which note s of replacing the key and lock, it lo properly begin an off-campus dwellings to consider for rental, that sub- could be an illegal deposit.

housing search. there are several personal crite- letting is Utilities -- gas, hydro, cable

Education involves gathering ria to consider. "Distance from a "vir- and phone -- are another aspect of general information on housing, school and conveniences, the age tual im- housing that should be investi- getting a map of the Kitchener/ and the style of the place should possibil- gated. Sometimes. Belanger said Waterloo area, and reading up on be taken into account," Belanger ity unless they are included in the price of the the Landlord-Tenant Act. said. a finan- rent. Many times, they are not. The K-W Tenant's Guide Upon completion of a list of cial loss A common problem that stu- states Uiat the Act "defines the possibilities, the next best step is is taken." dents have, Belanger said, is un- Mike Belanger, Director of Housing File photo contractual agreement (written, to go and see the houses them- A n - derestimating utility costs. He finds oral or implied) which permits a selves. During the tours, Belanger financial and personal conven- oilier normal occurrence in the that "students budget for $20 to tenant to occupy arental unit...The said, "one must determine what ience. However, Belanger said, the rental ofhousing is a request lor an $25 a month, but end up paying Act outlines the rights and obliga- are reasonable [rent] expectations full year "12 month lease is the advance of first and last months' much more." tions of both parties." for the accommodation. norm; it's pretty much standard." rent. What students often do not The best way to find out utility Once familiarized with this Rents right now range from Due to this situation, many stu- realize, Belanger said, is that they costs for a place is to ask the ten- guideline, Belanger said that the $120 to $1000, Belanger said. But, dents are forced to sublet their are entitled to repayment of any ants currently living there. renter should then "acclimatize" he added, a renter should "budget accommodation to other students interestaccumulated on them from When sharing an accommo- themselves to the various types of $300 to $450, as a general rule of during the summer months. the time they are given to the time dation with someone else, Belanger accommodations available. thumb." Subletting, the Tenant's Guide they are cashed. said, a written document should be The renter should then decide As for leases, Belanger has says, occurs when "the tenant and Belanger cautioned, "there is drawn up, with all parties agree- what type of lodging — house, one piece of advise: get one. A subtenantestablishalandlord-ten- no such thing as a damage deposit; ing to share utility costs townhouse, apartment -- they lease, meaning a written contract antrelationship..." This means that it's illegal." Any money collected Ifnot, the person whose name would prefer. Another factor to be between landlord and tenant, is the tenant arriving in September is before occupying adwelling which is on the utility bills could be end considered is the size of the ac- very helpful in dispute situations. fully responsible for the actions or is held for damage occurred dur- up stuck paying leftover costs at commodation, and how many pro- "Anyone who doesn't want to damages incurred by their ing tenancy is a damage deposit. the end of the year. spective roommates there will be. give a lease," said Belanger, "many subletters. The Tenant's Guide outlines a If you have any questions The housing search actually times theyhave something tohide." This adds to what Belanger way that landlords attempt to get about how to find a house, or about begins by drawing up a list of Eight month leases are de- calls the "myriad of problems with around this law. It is the practise of hoilsing in general, call the Hous- possible accommodation, Belanger sired by many students because for subletting." Aside from being re- charging "key money" instead. ing Office at ext. 2236.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A HOUSE OR ANAPARTMENT

-thefridge and stove (ifincluded) work - the toiletflushesproperly - the taps work and the waterpressure is adequate - the hot water supply is sufficient

- the heating system works - the windows and doors are intactand open and

close - the plaster is not cracked, especially on the ceiling as this may indicate leaky pipes

- there are no obvious signs ofmildew or vermin - the unit is reasonably soundproof YOU SHOULD ALSO KNOW:

- whetherthe temperaturecan be adjustedfromyour unit- whopaysforthe heat and hydro and, ifit is you, how much thefuel bills are

- what the parking arrangements (parking can be a real problem in K-W, get a definite answer)

- whether there are any special rules (no pets, etc.) SOURCE: Waterloo Public Interest Research Group THE CORD 18 Advertisement- Thursday, March 25. 1993

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groovy ? (^)l Lotsa raw A little energy mafia trivia Entertainment page 20 page 23 ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR : FEIZAL VALLI ASSISTANT ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR : JENNIFER O'CONNELL

fIHMHI |? y k 1L 9 \ Y I 1 1 % \ $ The Manson Razorbacks play the Volcano on Local artist Friday.

Aprilfirst has Strange Days at Stages.

Celine Dion joue Massey Hall sur March 25. a Laurier asset Lucie Zima Entertainment "Everyone get April eighth Blue Rodeo plays Stages and tix are almost all should hung in gone. public once" says Prof. Michael Manson, and she should know The Volcano Club hosts a benefit with "the only band that after being "hung" in Ontario and matters"* The Groove Daddy's, the Fat Cats and The Whirl- Quebec for over twenty years. ing Dirvishes on the third. Having grown up in the Mus- kokas. Prof. Manson really did Aretha Franklin plays Massey Hall on April seventh. 'walk a mile to school' and is grateful for that. The walk was Lowest of the Low return to play the Volcano on April six- spent observing her surroundings teenth. and helping her develop an art- istic eye. Ex-Beatle type, Paul McCartney plays The Ex on June sixth. She continued to fine-tune her talent at the Ontario College of Living Colour and Bad Brains play the Concert Hall on April Art in Toronto where, she says, twentieth. j she was exposed to many aspect ' of the artistic world. Van Morrison plays the Gardens on April 24. "Art," she says."is not merely about drawing and painting, it's WLU and UW with Amnesty International presents a folk, rock about ideas. Sure, getting a paint- and blues night on Friday, March 26 at 8 at the Huether. The ing or furniture to match the walls line-up includes Laurier icon Matt Osborne, Mary Anne Epp, and carpet is nice, but someone Failte and more. had to have the IDEA for the sofa or chair you're silting in, and had Acid Test are in Cambridge on the ninth. to design it. That too is art." Laurier Fine Arts Prof. Micheal Manson pic : Chris Skalkos After living in both Montreal studio. Unfortunately print fine Arts, a student needs to have King Cobb Steelie play the Volcano on the twentythird of and Toronto, Prof. Manson came making is no longer offered the opportunity to take studio April. to Waterloo to teach design at "We have a sculpture studio, and courses and history courses. Conestoga College. It was there one for textile design at the mo- Usually 1 must commit to one or *Kevin Geiger, Cord music expert that she met Prof. Langdon (after ment. We had a print making the other. Because I'm die only whom, And so you know: Tattoo artists are just the nicest guys in the incidently, the Gallery studio until Health and Safety de- lull-time professor, 1 can't offer world. was recently named) who cided that the facilities weren't the students all I would like to. 1 organized her first exhibition at adequate. When we asked for have to recommend they go to WLU. Shortly thereafter. Prof. money to improve it, we were Sheridan or OCA to get the broad Manson was approached to do an told it wasn't in the budget. We variety they need." artist in residence program. She do, however, intend to re- Along widi die elimination of (—Recommended —. accepted, and began teaching the introduce die course when fund- courses, the cutbacks have For anyone planning a Philosophy of Aesthetics course ing resulted the loss of m mm x becomes available, as if is in a gallery road trip this summer, 'jKk J|r (A) that is still offered as Theories of rather essential to die fine arts manager and fewer acquisitions there are a few things that \ 8* Beauty. program." for the University. you must take with you to A She soon introduced a draw- With the elimination of Since the gallery has become make your trip more en- ing and painting course that was courses PRIOR to cutbacks. Prof. a "real one" so to speak, and not joyable. You must take a . extremely popular and led to a Manson sees the situation only merely a collection of works camera and a notebook to ■ sculpture and textile design studio getting worse in the near future. shown in the Concourse like it record your trip. And for 1 W course, as well as a print making "To get a varied education in (cont'd to pg. 21) all those lonely hours 48 Hb waiting in airports, train aN stations, bus terminals, or standing on the side of the waiting for a lift, the ■ Groove road The Daddy's most valuable resource to have with you is a copy of Jack Kerouac's On The Road. H It will provide hours of

companionship as you „

•, ,u * ' Kerouac wait fort the next￿ leg1 of JACK your journey to begin. In it On the Road you can travel with Sal Paradise as he hitches his way from New York City to Denver to Los Angeles and back. Then he and his idealized companion Dean Moriarty and a gang of whoever wants to tag along eventually end up in Mexico by a route that takes them through New Orleans and a host of other destinations. Find out what America was really like in the late forties and early fifties as you experience work farms in California, jazz clubs in Den- ver and Chicago, and smoking weed at a brothel in Mexico. Go to your favourite bookstore and get a copy of On The Road to take with you abroad. But, get one soon because most bookstores don't stock it and it will have to be ordered in for you.

— [— OVERHEARD "So once in a while you hope that—Uh God!— maybe there could be an alternative. Unfortunately for me, there isn't. God! If I could get into it, it would be great."

Sharon Stone on the annoyance of men and on loving women as friends, but not as lovers.

The Daddy's Groove pack them in at Phil's last week pic : Tom Szeibel THE CORD 20 Entertainment Thursday, March 25. 1993 A whole lotta Energy Emergency". I'm pretty sure genius to just unbelievably Syndrome". Kevin Lynn offers up those words never actually appear strange. Their sound -- well, im- a wicked bass line a la Flea on in the song, but it looks good agine tour buses carrying mem- "One's a Heifer" and, well, the written on the sleeve. bers of the Hip, U2, Red Hot group's just got a sound all its They, by the way, are a six- Chili Peppers and Pearl Jam. own on "Bar Mitzvah in Ann Ar- man group called King Cobb Imagine them colliding. Add bour", "Duotang" and "Jackas- Steelie; they're from Guelph chickens. You've got the idea. shole" (Whoops, can I say that? (hence the farm animal fetish?), Or maybe you don't. They're We're gonna get letters...) RAW ENERGY and they've been getting lots of not exacdy an easy group to get a And in the face of these attention lately in their handle on. Just when you think songs, the album's stranger mo- hometown. King Cobb Steelie's you've figured out their in- ments can be overlooked. Al- self-titled debut, released last fluences, along comes a song though they do seem to hail from animals. Poultry in particular. month on Raw Energy Records, which consists entirely of the the 'When In Doubt, End The Adrienne Woodyard A Entertainment Credit where it's due, though. is a decidedly eclectic mix of just sound of someone dialing a Song With Whole Bunch of They sure know a helluva about every kind of music in exis- touch-tone phone. Or a few sec- Feedback' school of music, it's The glowing neon green Foghorn Leghorn quote when tence. They've combined funk, onds of what sounds for all the not half as annoying as you'd rooster on the cover of the cas- they hear one; yes, one of their rap, rock and (God help us) world like someone heaving an think. Their lyrics are just cryptic sette should have clued me in. songs is actually called: something resembling cheesy electric guitar off a balcony. Or enough to make you think you These guys appear to have an in- "Fortunately I Keep My Feathers 60 \s game show theme music — playing it with a chainsaw. should give them some thought, tense obsession with farm Numbered For Just Such An the results range from hilarious to Not to ruin the surprise or like this little item from "G.I. / anything — but you've got to Joe": "My skin is tight A little check out "Extra Mild", an parasite / On the side of my fore- Indie sampler a welcome surprise obscure little piece in which a head / Just a litde something to think about..." But there's ab- Trip the best, Dinner Is Ruined are the guy shrieks (repeatedly) into a Feizal Valli Entertainment mumble solutely no logical explanation most obnoxious and Wining, Dining and Drilling microphone, "Do you wanna hear another song?!?" The audience for their last piece, "Kune Mit More often than not, sampler compilations tend play the fastest. It's a tough call, either way. responds enthusiastically, but not Fangzahnen" (complete with um- to be hopeless patchworks of unrelated and Also worthwhile about this disc is the inclusion with cheering, oh no. With cluck- lauts) which sounds like...well, marginal pieces thrown together to make one of such club regulars as Groovy Religion, Cottage ing. Seems they're playing to a basically, a synthesizer, sleigh godawful disc. Industry and Change of Heart as well newer crowd of chickens. Yes indeedy. bells and a legion of clacking I've found the exception. bands like hHead (who, I've finally decided, con- I'm serious. typewriters. I actually fell asleep Fringe-type record label, Raw Energy Records, tribute the best track on this disc with "Collide"). But when they actually launch to it. Zonk. offers up a sampler of their dearest fringe-type Frankly, I hate Canadian music. It's bland, it's into a (that is, when But I defy you to nod off bands in a package that defies the first law of com- without any testicles and it's hopelessly derivative. song they play a piece that runs more than a while you're playing the rest of pilation discs: i.e., they stink. My longtime faves The Sons of Freedom followed minute and a half), they're ex- the album. If you're looking for a Excluding the Jale track, which borrows too up an angry, selfish debut with a handful of spoog cellent. Vocalist Kevan Byrne new band with a great sound, or heavily from the 10,000 Maniacs, the disc manages (they called it Gump), and what's passing for new does a pretty good Eddie Vedder even if you just want something to stay true to the same ideals throughout the other music these days is being played by clowns (The imitation on "G.I. Joe With really loud you can blast to tor- tracks; play loud and make sure no-one un- Barenaked Ladies), comedians (Moxy Fruvous) thirteen Lifelike Beard and Hair and ment your roommates during ex- derstands a word you're saying. and cadavers (Leonard Cohen). Kung-Fu Grip" and "Juggernaut"; ams, you can pick up King Cobb It's hard to say exacdy which band on this disc After seeing hHead last month I'm getting a he transforms himself into a Bono Steelie in every major record is the best at doing that - they're all so good at it. sense that this isn't true, after all. After hearing the clone on "The Big Small store around. King Cobb Steelie say nothing the loudest, Eric's Raw Energy sampler I know it's not. WUO- onion-

'

March 29 - April 2,1993 Monday, March 29,1993 IULiIS fcOl-L=U_ . Freezies being handed out during day in the concourse, FREE

. 3 bands in Turret at 8:00pm, tickets approx. $3-4 each a?<*..* details to follow "I (JlvOlvl"! O Tuesday, March 30,1993

. Sumo wrestling activity in concourse at 11:30am, FREE rttfprmpna

Wednesday, March 31,1993 ' -

. Dating Game in Wilf's at 2pm, if interested in particitpating, lfoOjk BpQSiI get applications at Centre Spot or in Wilf's from March 24-30; 1ElKl great prizes available to win!! Thursday, April, 1,1993

. Poor person's BBQ in Students' Union Quad at noon; possible BLACK WAT2IU3IUW musical guests

. Volleyball in Quad weather permitting Friday, April 2, 1993 A,ii3«i 1993

Tickets 00 sale intbe THE CORD Thursday. March 25. 1993 Entertainment 21 Nice Fine Arts department, for theby feizal recordvalli too bad about the cutbacks

(cont'd from pg. 19) more limitedly available for her Prof. Manson emphasizes was 15 years ago, more money is own work. that fine arts majors only make up Die, Junos, Die needed to keep it running With the introduction of a one quarter of the fine arts smoothly. Security, staff, and new approach to the studio classes. The courses are taken as

Did anyone watch the Juno Awards this week? Did you even regular additions to the gallery's courses - that being a two class electives for Business, Psych, and know they were on? Do you even know what they are? collection are required. Present- per week schedule instead of one, even P.E. majors. She is It doesn't matter really, what you would've seen is a pathetic ly, Prof. Manson boasts that we which will allow a student to con- enthused by the diversity of stu- Canadian music industry patting itself on the back for breaking have a good permanent collection centrate more on their work and dents and the responses she the American market with a handful of pitiful acts, a salute to the of Inuit Art that is spread receive a full credit in just one receives about the courses and status quo. Add to that a pathetic group of nominees and baffling throughout offices of the Univer- term — Prof. Manson will once exhibitions that students are in- set of winners and you get an awards ceremony that actually man- sity, and a piece tided "Screen" again be busy come the fall. Bui volved in. She also points out ages to be less than the sum of its parts. that will remain in the gallery. that won't stop her involvement how she admires the pride and The majority of awards went to host Celine "I'm-a-nobody-in- The cutbacks will decrease the with the gallery and exhibitions courage that stall and students French-but-a-worldwide-star-in-English" Dion and k.d. "screw- number of pieces the gallery will she assures. show in submitting their work for country-I'm-a-chanteuse" lang. Would it happen to be a coin- be able to purchase and exhibit. Presently showing in the gal- this final exhibition. cidence that the two big winners happen to have been recently With eight exhibitions a lery, is Prof. Manson's 'baby' so With the continuous positive validated by American consumers? Do you suppose Celine Dion year,lasting three weeks each, a to speak. It's the Student and feedback and guaranteed expan- was hosting the show because she's been the biggest selling artist gallery manager is essential for Faculty exhibition. It's in its sion of one's education that the in Quebec for the last four years or because she moved her the running of the gallery. This eleventh year of running as the Fine Arts program provides, it's Franglais south? responsibility will most likely be final exhibition of the year, and ironic that it's the smallest pro- Some of the winners in the other categories really do tell the given to Prof. Manson once allows students, staff and faculty gram at Will, that keeps on story of the Canadian music scene; apparently, the best we have to again, causing her to become to show their artistic touch. shrinking. offer in the "Hard Rock" category is Slik Toxic and the end all and be all of Groups in Canada is The Barenaked Ladies. Rap in Canada is somehow epitomized by Devon. If these are the people who best represent what Canada has to offer musically then even I gave it too much credit; the scene isn't just bad, it's embarrassing. To be fair, I'll say that award shows in general fall into the 'j^Cl/MTEASTWOOD trap of being, well, shit, but, for God's sake, even the Grammy's I.First spagehetti western? (which are notorious for rewarding the unrewardable) had the self 3 T:stoo>i 3 m 01 dignity to shut out Billy Ray Cyrus. Not so of the Junos. 2. Birthplace? .Year Dirty Harry was made? Other mistakes? Plenty. As a token, the generous people at the Bipuos -g a Junos have decided to create category for Aboriginal musicians Sell directed movie of 1976? ■/_ - not rock, or folk country aboriginal categories but a single one 5. First big grossing movie? 9 with, where folkies Kashtin would do battle say, some metal band 6. Mayor of this town? 3SOOI in e M3rMA\ *»ah out of Yellowknife. Very generous. And why was Dan Gallagher the biggest celebrity I could spot when the camera panned the audience? Do I really need political commentary from a moron like Sebastian Bach? 9. First TV break? I think Leonard Cohen pretty much summed it up when he ac- 10. Charlie Sheen co-stars in this flick? cepted his Juno: "Only in a country like Canada can a guy like me win an award for Best Male Vocalist". I couldn't put it any better.

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- 11 _ Valid Every Monday Plus Tax 'V \J* rtirough April 12, 1993 THE CORD 22 Entertainment Thursday, March 25. 199.q Little Shop's Nehls promises

dear Ouija a real fun and crazy show

Entertainment Dear Ouija, Virginia Parker Despite the title, this play is not scary. Rather it When I was five years old I had a dream I was kidnapped by that is an upbeat production featuring a combination of Aunt Jemima and taken to a factory in the the dark, dark middle of comedy and music (just think of Steve Martin as forest. When we got to this dark, dark she stripped me down forest the Dentist in the movie version). naked and strapped me to a conveyor belt. As I rode down the con- LITTLE SHOP David Nehls, who plays Seymour in this pro- veyor belt I was spanked by Aunt Jemima all her Last and assistants. duction and has been touring with the company week I had exactly the same dream. you any insights as to Do have throughout the American south, promises "a real what this all means? fun show, it's just crazy!". What more could Signed, you possibly expect in a show whose main character is a Can't Eat Pancakes giant plant? Dear Can i Eat Pancakes, "There are quite a few more great things to be That's funny. I've been having the same dream about HORRORS Wilfrid found in this production of Little Shop," he adds. Brimley, the Quaker Oats guy. Perverted dreams starring your April First, Little Shop of Horrors is com- "First of all, there's Audrey 11, the plant. This pro- favourite friendly spokesperson are perfectly normal On breakfast food Square in Kitchener, and it duction uses four separate puppets to make up the especially they include a breezy birthday suit on a conveyor ing to the Centre in the if ride entertining show. man-eater. Under the masterful touch of Ruben belt. But about this dark, dark forest...l don't know. This makes you a promises to be a very potted plants are fa- Permel, Jr., these puppets are practically alive." pretty sick puppy. Seek help someone professional. Call 1- Almost everyone and their from people Audiences can also expect some great tunes 81LUVFREUD. miliar with this campy musical. For those as is the story of well. The music for Little Shop of Horrors was Dreamily yours, who aren't, Little Shop of Horrors written by the same people who recendy wrote Ouija Seymour and his carnivorous plant Audrey 11. the Seymour, a mild mannered employee in Mush- Oscar- winning music for Disney's The Little Dear Ouija, nik's Floral Shop, creates the plant and names it for Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast. My cat, Buddybuddy, has big balls. Huge balls. I am jealous and the object of his unrequited love, Audrey. They have been touring the U.S. for about two to make things worse he struts around the house flaunting them in my Audrey II promises Seymour fame and fortune, months now, and have been able to count many face as if to say "Look at me. I have big balls". As you can imagine I for a price. He has to keep finding victims to feed sold out shows along the way. am driven insanely jealous. How do I get over this feline fascination? Audrey 11. This success is due to not only the familiarity of Signed, The ending presented by this production is the play but also to the quality of the performances Spunky somewhat macabre, not the happy ending of the that they present. Nehls explains that the show is Dear Spunky, movie version, where Audrey and Seymour get "big, with beautiful sets" and some very amusing It sounds as if your cat hasn't been neutered yet. I would advise married. actors. you take your ball-bearing cat to the nearest vet and have his furry The entire play, man-eating vegetable and all, is So this April First, instead of putting fake puke family jewels snipped. This will help control the cat population and written and presented in such a way that it stil in your beloved's cereal, take them to see Little deflate his bulging bag of masculinity. remains suitable for all age groups. Shop of Horrors. You will not be disappointed. Or else, stop staring at his scrotum all the time you sick-o. Purrrrrfectly yours, Ouija. Dear Ouija, My boyfriend is a hulking mass of manhood, and he treats me like g « a princess. In fact, he has only one fatal flaw. You see, 'Jean' is a 11 it]r4o AKm die hard Trekkie. M 8 Besides devoting half of each weekend and two hours every I fp|Wg weeknight in front of his t.v., Jean's problem is now invading the [DELI ■ • ! bedroom. Every time we become intimate, he insists on tapping my 1 DELI DELII moaning "engage, engage!" At first I thought he spoke EH left breast and of marriage, but I have yet to see a ring. Last night, when he reached his moment of bliss, he cried out "Oh, Counselor!" Is he just using me as a substitute for his sci-fi fan- } tasy women? Am I not really his Number One? i Si'do S Signed, B1 | q!p OFF ANY SANDWICH i, Wanting a non-trekker pecker. ■ 1 * Dear NTP, | X ANDA i Let's face it, 'Jean' is a lost cause. Once a Trekkie, always a 9 Trekkie. If you can't see yourself in the role of a raven-haired ; , 'Babezoid,' you'll have to stop Klinging-On. FREE BEVERAGE I ■ • • Enterprisingly yours, 1 (PIP TEA) i 1 , CSFFIE g Ouija IggW

';-^ttffyif"If ■

' '• '* " ' -. ■ 4 CnspyCrunrhKiiloon . THE CORD Thursday, March 25, 1993 Entertainment 23 Are you lookin' at me? Everything you ever wanted to know about The Godfather movies but were too afraid of wearing cement shoes to ask Martin Walker Entertainment Victim 37 -assassin/burglar -shot in bed remains one of the most well re- head membered scenes in movie history. So many of you enjoyed the Fri- Victim 38 - The second interesting thing is day the 13th "Jason Kill List", that I - Victim 39 the number of people that died in all thought it was important that a God- Victim 40 - a whole slew of the movies. 66 deaths in three movies Death List he compiled. In as- - father Victim 41 people died in a is a pretty good kill rate (two of sociation with this list, I would like to Victim 42 - helicopter attack which were chauffers). It averages review one of the coolest books I Victim 43 - when Joey Zasa out to 22 deaths per movie, much have ever read: The Godfather Victim 44 - mowed down every higher than the 17 deaths per movie Companion. It's a must for all Victim 45 - body (including 5 in Friday the 13th. credit goes to Joey serious Godfather fans. But before Victim 46 - Mafia dons) /asa .(Joe Montegna) who is we go on, let us examine the findings - Victim 47 responsible for 12 of them. of the Godfather killings: Victim 48 - If you are a real fan of Godfather I Godfather Victim 49 - movies, then a must read is Peter Bis- Victim 1 -a horse -decapitated Victim 50 -"The Ant" -shot in chest kind's The Godfather Companion Victim 2 -Luca Brasi -strangled with Victim 51 -Zasa's bodyguard -shot in It provides a treasure trove of in- wire piano head formation about the Godfather Victim 3 -Bruno Tattalgia -shot (off Victim 52 -Zasa's bodyguard -shot in movies. camera) chest For example, it gives a listing of Victim 3 -Solozzo -shot in head Victim 53 -Joey Zasa -shot in head actors that were possible candidates Victim 4 -Capt. McCluskey -shot in Victim 54 -Don Tommassino - for various roles. Candidates for throat and forehead shotgun blast to upper torso Michael Corleone (A 1 Pacino) in- Victim 5 -Paulie -shot in back of Victim 55 -Tommassino's chauffeur - cluded such stars as Robert Redford. head shotgun blast Warren Beatty (both turned down the Victim 6 -Sonny Corleone -shot 114 Victim 56 -Keinzig -smothered by- role). Jack Nicholson;!) and Dustin times (everywhere!) pillow Hoffmanf!!). Victim 7 Corleone - -Appolonia Victim 57 -Michael's bodyguard - Candidates for the Godfather blown up good stabbed in chest (Marlon Brando) himself included Victim 8 -Don Vito Corleone -heart Victim 58 -Pope John Paul I -heart Ernest Borgnine. Laurence Olivier. attack attack (mysterious circumstances) George C. Scott and Anthony Quinn. 9 -Sal Tessio Victim 28 -Cuban army - Victim -shot (off Godfather II Captain Victim 59 -Don Altobello -poisoned The book also goes into the camera) Victim 19 -Antonio Andolini (Cor- blown up Victim 60 -twin bodyguard -shot details of the making of the movies Victim 10 -thug camera) -shotgun blast to leone) -shot (off Victim 29 -Mama Corleone -heart at- Victim 61 -twin bodyguard -shot and stories surrounding the making of face Victim 20 -Paolo Andolini (Cor- tack Victim 62 -Archbishop Gilday -hung them. Some of the stories are great, Victim 11 -thug -shotgun blast to -shot at funeral Ola -neck leone) Victim 30 -Johnny snapped Victim 63 -Father Lucchesi -stabbed including Coppola's buddy George face Victim 21 -Mama Corleone -shot in Victim 31 -Busetta -shot in face in neck with glasses Lucas telling him to go ahead and Victim 12 -Don Cuneo -shot in chest chest Victim 32 -Pentangeli Corleone -slit Victim 64 -Calo (Mike's bodyguard) direct Godfather I. "We really need Victim 13 -Don Stracci -mowed Victim 22 -Don Ciccio -stabbed in wrists -shot in back the money. What have you got to down by machine gun 7 " chest Victim 33 -Hyman Roth -shot in Victim 65 -Mary Corleone -shot in lose' Victim 14 -Stracci's - girlfriend Victim 23 -Don Fannucci -shot in chest chest All m all. the book is great if you machine gunned down too chest and mouth -Rocco Lompone -shot in Victim 34 Victim 66 -Mosca (assassin) -shot in are a fan for trivia in the Godfather Victim 15 -Moe Greene -shot eye in Victim 24 -loser assassin -shot in legs face stomach movies. The stories surrounding the Victim 16 -Don Barzini -shot in back Victim 25 -loser assassin -shot in Victim 35 -Fredo Corleone -shot in A couple of interesting points can movie are hilarious and the obscurity Victim 17 -Barzini's bodyguard -shot chest back of head be seen from this tally. First of all. a is tremendous. Still though, if you in chest Victim 26 -prostitute -bludgeoned Godfather 111 horse was the first to die in the have a spare weekend and like going Victim 18 -Barzini's chauffeur -shot Victim 27 -Cuban guerrilla -suicide Victim 36 -assassin/burglar -shot in movies. Of course, the scene with the insane slowly, then this book is for in chest bombing head horses head in the movie director's you. I know it was for me!

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Siviplt dreams iivtpossiblt TO ACHIEVE futfillviENT A'NicJ liAppiNESS cvipTy woRds UNkNOWM, UNENCOUNTEREd rliROUqU liiE of dEpRESSioiN A WAII CONfRON TEd SLRENESS, STURdiNESS SOUqlHT { ANd loti\d scaIe i Me waII TO REACft The Top . pEAktd wirb wy thouqliTs of IMpENdtNCj doow blissful, pAilNlESS V.' • ' SURREAI . ON TllE EdqE is not rte answer fAlltNq is buT as naturaI AS dEATk tIhe woRds of wisdoM mean tIhe waU never REACHES iTS THE MOLD REAlisi ic dEprh

N6rOO^i:: SQUARE. Anu INTO THE MO LP., INTO 1 HE MOLD;

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- THE RFYOLpTiONARY 5HR«lEKS HATEFUL WORDS OF RETR13UTI0N. R . IN|pT® MOLD, INTO THE MOLD.

THE RECESSION HARDENED EMPLOYER CUTS BACK ON THE WORKERS REMUNERATION. |J||tf THE MOLD.

!< THE PARENT f3EA' T S, WHILE SELF .JUSTIFIED JN REACHING THE CHILD' THE SHOULD'S. v INTO THf~ l/IOLD, INTd THE MOLD.

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•>"' < -k T v S*L:. X : K. Guy. JM T

O, the Humanity

The Life of a Wave Suffering: by Design or self-imposed? Bom ike deptks, from It not; we still must dealwith it. witk unfatkOfnable speed. matters Some of our spirits are rigid and closed; y\ skort . become Of determination. We cling to an image, then it. ; iruvfioti O die$§$Jte<*+ tasting r Predes •* life. •*> * - . r v , v ? out; , of the world to AAoving forward, ..... Religions try help ! y\nd ruing Vi' a ;of power and domination. Healing, though, must begin from the inside. "Revoking akead fa fkenexi engulfing «H. Fear of change makes us weak; we whine and pout; Tke pifter-pcvHer wkiek kos risen to A ferocious roar, Trust in ourselves helps us conquer this Tide.

Humans want both change and stability it quickly, painlessly cmd poin+tessjy Xs dies This tension is constant, yet hope remains.

Self knows no bounds; all is fertility; > 3t's essence remains a moment fo feed tke eartiv life for Empower yourself, explore all domains. *ike ofkers onward. Life is just challenge for all to embrace, Like lemmings off a cliff, jA pattern emerges. To fuel the Spirit called the human race. . O' ' 'V|jps k i&W* \^ >:%^"-'4 . ' vr w/'e "Pencil ? Jason Gilmore "' ' .' -■' ; h.. f THE CORD Comment 25

THURSDAY, MARCH 25, 1993 VOLUME XXXIII, ISSUE27 COVER PHOTOGRAPHY: CHRIS SKALKOS THECORD

"The tie that binds Laurier" since 1926 A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication 75 University Ave. West, Waterloo, Ont. N2L 3C5 14519) 884-2990 --Fax: (519) 884-55961 Advertising: (5T9) 884-5092

EDITORIAL BOARD EDITOR-IN-CHIEF.. „j. Z. Pat Brethour NEWS EDITOR Sheldon Page ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR Ingrid Nielsen ENTERTAINMENT ED1T0R...... Feizal Valli

ASSISTANT ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR.. ..Jennifer O'Connell , SPORTS EDITOR "SB. Evan Bailey PRODUCTION MANAGER Renee Ward GUEST FEATURES ED1T0R...... Lee Hewitt STAFF REPRESENTATIVE. LucieZima

STAFF Art Director. Ryan Feeley Production Assistants:

••••••■ ••••••••• ...... Gail Norton

'****» McCuaig '.Z McKay Classified Co-ordjpator Libbi Hood ; Suicidal stairways Virginia Parker circulation mmmm" i Copy Editors ...... Tom Tanner £, my arrival at WLU, I can remember looking at the Peter's and what a cool ...... building thinking ... | Julie McAlpine I ■ building it is. Well since then things have changed. The Peter's building remains the same, but my W CONTRIBUTORS: Uponopinion of it has taken a 180 degree turn. ■ Lucie Zima, Adrian ne Woodyard, Martin Walker, Kathleen The classrooms of the building are the main strengths of the structure, along with its appealing exterior Honey. Chris Skalkfis, Tom. Virginia Parker, Lee Hewitt, appearance. The Atrium is a cool looking spot and is another plus for the building. The difficulty arises when Bannan Kopco, Cfps Werynsta, Jim Lowe, Brian Gear, Adam you go for your first trip through the second and third floors. Unless you mark your path, chances are you Holt, fraser kirby. Ahu, Roland R. Guy, Jamie Petch, David Slim- will end up walking circles withoutknowing it. mon. Ryan Feeley, Jason Gilmore. Mark Hand, DenyS DaivS. Perhaps the largest fault with this building's design is the staircases. It is hard to believe that these narrow Catherine Phillips, Jennifer Hamilton, Terry Humphreys, Ingrid passages are accepted under the fire code. In peak traffic times the stairwells resemble the 401 on a Friday Nielsen, Scotty McKay, Bonnie Redekop, Lianne Jewitt, Mike Loiters, Carey Waters, Wendi Oakes, Adrienne Kolotylo, Greg afternoon. It is really great passing someone on the stairs only to get a good bite of their knapsack as it flies Sloan, Jim Boyce, into your face. Once you reach your floor, the doors open into the stairwell where there is about enough Production: Angela Gallup,' Libbi Hood, Christina Craft, Bonnie space on the top step for the radius of the turn. Redekop. Mohini Athia, Andrevifbameron. Adrienne Kolotylo, Consider two unsuspecting students, one climbing the stairs to go to class, and one getting ready to head :Karen Irvine. Sonia Haslam down the stairs. The poor person climbing the stairs reaches the top step and begins to reach for the door. Just Photo: Sheldon Page, Harvey Luong, Camille Archer, Tom then the other person pushes the door open, not noticing the person on the top step, and blammo, fatality in , Szeibel, Scotty McKay, Rob Chisholm, Katie Billingsley, Angela the stairwell. There is a window in the door, but the thing is only six inches across. ■'Gallup I have a theory. Doors are put on buildings so that people can enter and exit. Door handles are put on doors so that you have something to grab to pull the door open. Why then are a majority of the doors in the STUDENT PUBLICATIONS Peter's building locked? If they are not meant to enter through, then don't put a handle on it. I can remember TREASURER Rosemary Banks last year the door on the west end of the building was open for a majority of the time. SYSTEMS TECHNICIAN ] Vacant This year, unless you get there when someone is leaving through the door, you're taking the long route PHOTO MANAGER . Chris Skalkos

» around. The least that could be done in this case is to put an exit only sign on the door so that nobody tries to Photo Technicians: ... „...£da DiLiso go in it in the first place. 4 v~»r Jo-Ann Julien Graphic Arts Technician i Kathleen Honey The final irritating point with regard to this building is the photocopier on the second floor. Why is it seven cents per copy everywhere else but ten cents at this one? It appears as though someone was trying to ADVERTISING slip one past business and economics students. Manager | Jamie Neilson When you think about it, a building as new as the Peter's should be safer and more easily accessible than Ad Production Manager Brian Craig an older structure. It appears that the designers overstepped these factors in compromise for a futuristic look- Ad Production Eric Green ing frame. I admit that out of all the buildings on the campus the Peter's looks to be the one that I would pick

...... -***+ **■+,+••• .Paula Kalijarvi first as being for business, but is eye appeal what Laurier needs? Sales Craig Kelley 4 I would have thought that the administration would have chosen something that maximizes the limited | Hope O' Heron 1... John McHutchion space available on the campus and built something six or seven stories and square. It would be a shame if the new science building is being built with the same factors in mind as with the Peter's. BOARD OF DIRECTORS Ugly buildings will not help to draw quality students but once they arrive on campus it should be a Martin Walker, President priority to ensure their safety. Brian Gear j Sean McLean Vacant PhHJ Kinzinger Editorial by Evan Bailey, Sports Editor Dawna Maclvor Midhael Rosenblatt opinions expressed in this editorial Christina Craft (ex officio) The are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the rest of The Cord staff, or ofits publisher, WLU Student Publications.

The Cord continues its publishing year, with one teeny, tiny issue to go. Any Let- ters to the Editor must be submitted si^jjcd-..typed and double-spaced by Tuesday, March 30 at 12:00 pm for the following publication. But, wroiij y print letters thaf bear the autlior's real namej'U lephotte number, awl JJD. n|inber (if ap- Thumbnail Editorials plicable). All letters must be 500 wardSi Allsubini.s.sions becope th, property of The Cord and we reserve the right to edit or refuse any submissions. The Cord THUMBS UP to the Sigma Chi fraternity for its charitable efforts. Sigma Chi has held wil|;: not print anything in the body of the paper considered to be sexist, racist or a of fundraising events for charity this year, the latest being this Saturday's hoifiophobic in nature by the staff as a voting body, or which is in violation of our number ~aerobathon'. the fraternity excludes women is definitely not to admired. Set cciae of ethics. Our last issue is on ApnJL} foolin'.i That be aside the issue of gender discrimination for a and you have a group working Cord subscription rates are $13.00 pet t«|rm for addres.'t?* within ("anada and moment, to improve their community, at least once in a while. At a time when most students are $18 outside the country. We have nosuhscripion rate for pi np| vote Repub- face down in books or on pub Sigma Chi is finding the time to help others. lican. The Cord is printed by the Cambridge are just tables, fine, thank you. The Cord publishes each Thursday, and darn well likes it. The Cord is a its confirmed prospective member of Canadian University Press. Kudos for this issue THUMBS DOWN to the Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance [OUSA] for go out to everyone (even the Art Director who doesn't walk from the University of hypocritical backtracking. OUSA has vehemently condemned the Ontario Federation Waterloo nearly often enough). of Students [OFS] for foisting policy positions on OFS members. Now, under OUSA's soon-to-be constitution, proposals will official OUSA policy with a simple All commentary is strictly the opinion of die writer and does not necessarily become represent those of the Cord staftard. or t|pWLV ShkK'lU Publica- majority of members in favour. That, of course, means that 40 per cent could be tions Board of Directors. opposed to the policy. That's precisely the conundrum for which OUSA castigated OFS. Was when it did so? Or is it now? And just when it 1993 by WlJfSdMfeM PulSicatioiis. 75 I v e. West. OUSA wrong wrong will 1 A apologize its misbegotten Watenoo,'Ontario, N2L 3C5. publication qut> be leprnduced to OFS for attacks? without permission of the Kditoi-bi Chitf ITjjess you arc tin owner 0f...a " New Car! 3S1II1S^; ", - THE CORD 26 Letters to the Editor Thursday. March 25. 19Q? Illiterates not LETTERS TO THE EDITOR weak, deficient The Cord's Letter Policy • All letters must be signed, and submitted with the author's name, student identification number and telephone number. Dear Editor, • unless otherwise requested. I am moved to respond to Steve Tracy's well intentioned story on All letters will be printed with the author's name, illiteracy in the Cord of March 11, 1993. Although well written, the • Letters must be received by Tuesday at noon for publication in that week's print or disk. Disks can be picked up on Wednesday. article is decidedly biased as one might expect from his single-source issue in on research and from the 'doom and gloom' journalism that seems to • Letters must be typed, double-spaced and cannot exceed 500 words (2 pages) dominate articles about illiteracy these days. • The Cord reserves the right to edit any letter, but will not correct spelling and I have recendy completed and successfully defended my doctoral grammar. dissertation on the subject "Successful Illiterate Men". Although it • The Cord reserves the right to reject any letter, in whole or part, that is in too is a small sample study (I interviewed forty men for about three violation of existing Cord policies, specifically : letters which contain personal hours each), the findings suggest that the generalized picture of the il- attacks, or defamatory statements. literate person painted by Mr. Tracy is perhaps inaccurate. In- flammatory statements such as "every day, almost five million Cana- dians live in fear of being discovered" do not accurately describe life for many illiterate people. In fact, I would suggest that more illiterate people than our biased literate minds can imagine live normal, pro- Insulting stereotypes ductive lives. Among the men I interviewed were a millionaire and three others making between $75-100,000 per year. One half of my study were making $30,000 or more per year. In addition, most, never change regardles of income, were relativley unconcerned about becoming lit- Dear Editor, this is disputable since there is significant erate. They were too busy getting on with their lives to worry. evidence Last week, Paul Laurie attacked me with a of husband abuse), it hardly warrants a blanket My chief concern here is that the kinds of responses articles such ig- violent flurry of insults. I won't lower myself to norance of male victims. Following Laurie's logic, as Mr. Tracy's inspire are ones of pity and weepy do-gooding. As a similar insults because I understand how, as a male it would be acceptable to ignore problems that result, illiterate people seeking help may be perceived as being weak in our society, he might find himself forced into a some blacks cause other blacks, or that and deficient. Typically, the deficient are served badly by educators, some "macho" defense of his views. I will, however, ad- women cause other women. This is discriminatory government, and the business world. dress his argument that "women are assaulted by and it is enough to point out that broken ribs Illiterate people are proud of their accomplishments and of how and men for the simple reason that they are women, bruises hurt regardless of the victim's race or gen- they have survived in a system which degrades them and diminishes whereas, men are not assaulted by women for the der. I want to conclude by saying that am NOT the importance of both their skills and their achievements. If our edu- I simple reason that they are men." trying to "minimize" the problem of violence cational programs were to emphasize their strengths instead of their First, men are assaulted because they ARE men, against women weaknesses, I believe these literacy programs would be more success- but raise the issue of violence and these assaults are supported by the sexist atti- against men as of the mandate of a society ful. What Ms. Tuer neglected to tell Steve or he neglected to mention part that tudes in our society and carried out by men and was that literacy interventions are notoriously ineffective. is trying to promote gender-INCLUSIVITY (I with adults women. Perhaps Laurie has not seen news stories Fewer than 50% of those complete. In addition, those who do com- made this point THREE TIMES in my original arti- about atrocities which "included women and chil- plete seldom realize any financial gain. cle). dren," as though it would have been less atrocious A final note. It's funny how people like Laurie, It may be that educational interventions frequently fail because had only men been the victims. Or perhaps he was are a as when faced with criticism, resort to using labels they falsely rooted in perception of the illiterate person defi- never taught as a child to "never hit a girl", a lesson cient. I believe this is part of the problem. What is more frightening like "insecure" and "anal retentiveness" or suggest insinuating that hitting a boy is not quite as bad (it ulterior motives attempt however is that government may want us to believe that illiteracy such as an to be "cool with works if a girl is doing the hitting too). Most impor- guys." stereotypical images causes poverty and unemployment. This belief provides government the These and agendas tantiy, perhaps he does not realize it is not yet so- are unfair as would be obvious to Laurie were to with a handy scapegoat for the failure of the Canadian economy. It if I cially acceptable for men to be victims of violence. accuse him of being in Against provides government with an easy answer, i.e., "let's make sure every Men Violence In fact, males who reveal being beaten (especially Against Women because he wanted to appear Canadian adult can read, and our economic problems will be solved". by women) often feel humiliated ("take it like a provides government with a cover for real causes of our eco- "sensitive" to women and "get laid." Obviously It the man") and few facilities are available to help them. inequality, greed, such an accusation would be unfair and untrue. nomic woes: social and elitism. Perhaps Laurie may be ignorant of violence Steve Tracy's was but Funny also is that Laurie's brand of personal insult article well intentioned seriously biased. against men because it is the yardstick against As a result, I would ask that all concerned citizens think twice before is the type of "argument" used against feminists and which he measures violence against women. In civil rights activists in subscribing to the common, party-line and thus supporting yet anoth- when those movements were other words, violence against men is the NORM in their infancy. Some things never change! er government cover-up. our society. Another point Laurie makes is that men are Jim Boyce Roger Clark hurting women and not vice versa. Even if true (and Religion and Culture "Walk-A-Beast" commentor...just joking Dear Editor, In reference to that as well, and substituted that time slot for would have instructed the hairy By the way, I come from an In retrospect I why I subjected to that should have playing with himself on some should be young fellow to hide his shame! extremely highly educated family realised that whomever made that person on the front cover of your lonely night. The comment stems But now I am sexist to men too? who opposes sexism (as I do), my comment, sexist was article. realise that the doctrines assholes..., from an incident to where Homer I Why the front page? Why father is a common guest speaker geek working act some for the Cord; ran outside naked and Lisa told of the indecent exposure twice in the same issue? Why with the Women's Federation for the in in bowels of the Cord office Homer to hide his shame (Shit!! centre around nudity an erotic twice in a year? Teachers and I am one half of a whom, despite manner; his/her admirable That Matt Groeing is sexist to however, I felt that this By the way, don't you see a twin (who is a sister) and have work, never got picture DEFINITELY not volunteer an op- men! But he's a man?), merely a was whole new generation of sexism helped her in a female equality portunity to watch the Simpson's joke, erotic (no offense to the ex- loser! from events like this? (date rape, fight, in court, vs. an Amateur troverted women) but indecent it sexual assaults) City Sport Ruling. Sexist? I think was. because she was a Not Why should I have to explain not. Mean joke at a bad time? women. to my 2 year old cousin about the Probable, for some. An asshole What the heck; here let me Cord centrefold "Birds and the bees" during a commentator at the Cord. You put in the Cord's terms, what the walk in the park where this exhi- Bet. fuck do you think will happen if Dear Editor, bitionist was at. I admit, my comments were women walk around showing all? I would like to thank The Cord for the comprehensible feature Truly the wimpy coward who not a nice thing to say, but ask How sexist was the If published last week on computing at Laurier, shedding some light on comment? called me a sexist asshole should yourself this (girls and guys), was you put picture an area that most consider to be very confusing. would have a of have signed his name and it a nice thing to see? Better yet, There were, however, a couple of errors I would like to correct. If my roomate's penis (cock in the wondered just how sexist I am; or Acceptable? Cord's language) on cover users want to get help through email, the address they should use is the I at least find out. My comment merely says that "[email protected]", not mach7. In fact, users can just use the ad- I found the picture repulsive and dress "help" without the machine name. think very little of the model. My Another misunderstanding involved the laser deposits. It is NOT Prof of the OPINION! I'm sure she and necessary for users to maintain a $5 balance. It is only necessary that many others think that I am un- when they make a deposit, they deposit at least $5. The balance in the attractive too (that I can live account will automatically adjust downwards as each job is printed, Year says thanks with). until it reaches a negative amount. At this point, no further jobs will print until a deposit brings the balance back up to a positive amount. Dear Editor, Paul Zikopoulos On a personal note, I would also like to thank The Cord for in- I would like to express my deep appreciation for being selected cluding my picture in the feature printed in the centre of the newspa- "Professor of the Year" by the students of Wilfrid Laurier University P.S. Incidendy, my swearing was per, thereby realizing my lifelong, secret desire to become a and the Students' Union. In honoring me, you honor all of the fine so you (the commentator) may be centrefold. teachers here at WLU and reaffirm the value of teaching at this in- able to understand what I wrote stitution. So to my students and to my colleagues who continue their since you publically write and Arleen Greenwood commitment to the classroom...l say thank you. speak at such an acceptable level User Liaison, which illustrates your education Computing Services Donald F. Morgenson (or lack of) you geek. THE CORD Thursday. March 25. 1993 Letters to the Editor 27 Cremation letter hurtful to mourner Dear Editor, McKay has never experienced the father was apart of but did not friends of the family until this that one day this Scott McKay In response to the letter writ- death of a loved one much less follow since his departure from year when I rented a place in will understand that his words, al- ten by Scott McKay (Cord, the decision of the final resting India 30 years ago, he was Waterloo with a friend of mine though, innocent I'm sure, were March 18, 1993, issue 26 place. Unfortunately some of us cremated so that his family could from first year. In either place hurtful and full of devatation. Is it V.XXXIII), "Cremation is are not lucky. In April, it will be mourn in their way and spread his would it be appropriate for me to not the responsibility of the writer Cool". I understand that the the 2nd Anniversary of my fa- ashes in the Ganges river. The set up a shrine for my father as I to be objective? This is just one remarks made by the writer of ther's death, this letter brought rest of his remains were in my wish to visit with him in private. person's opinion, an opinion of a any article is purely their opinion out a lot of emotion, especially closet, minus the bust. This is not So now he is at peace in a ground person who had to deal with and does not reflect that of the hurt by what was written. I had to what I had hoped would become plot and I go and talk, cry and be death on their own at the age of WLU Student Publication... so on watch my father die and put up of my father, to rest next to my with him. Keeping him in a closet 19. and so forth. However, in a sub- with the odd behaviours of my tennis shoes. I made the decision was no way to let him live in If I am wrong and Scott ject that is very sensitive and mother and brother, and finally to have him placed in a eternity, and it was no way to let McKay has experienced death I deals with the heart (so to speak), make the final decision on the crematorium where we last lived. him deal with the most important apologize, but anyone who could I would hope that a little decorum final resting place for my father. Since I was the only one to person in my life. make such remarks does not have would be shown. I hope that I'm In following with Hindu tradi- live with my father at the time of The off hand remarks about a the understanding of someone right in thinking that Scott tion, a religion that was one my his death, I had to move in with bust, the place for the living who has. Just a last piece of in- versus a place for the dead lacked formation, the land that Canada any ounce of integrity. Cremation uses for farmland produces No dumb jocks at WLU is not COOL, in fact death is not enough grain...etc. to feed its cool. It is probably the most pain population plus. Dear Editor, consideration. a person could feel in a lifetime, Over the course of my four years here at Laurier First year students must take Biology and either especially someone as close as I have been called upon to set people straight Psychology or Sociology in addition to the Physical my father was to me. I do hope Heidi Chakravatti regarding the academic integrity of the Physical Ed- Education courses. These include Socio-Cultural ucation program. It seems that stereotypes prevail Aspects, Biomechanical Aspects, and a credit's among the uninformed worth of activity courses. Consider this not to be a knee-jerk reaction to In second year students take Anatomy and the constant slurs of the ignorant but instead an ode Physiology (pre-med material). They may choose Rape is horrible to Physical Education, the most well-rounded dis- between Sport Psychology or Sport Sociology. His- cipline at Laurier. torical and Philosophical Foundations and Adminis- Dear Editor, mother she tells mc about some Before I "sing the praises" of Phvs. Ed., there tration are also taken in new self-defense trick. She is en- are some myths to dispel. in and one in I am not a poor judge of addition to two courses Health Clas- rolling me in Wen-do and has W.L.U. is not an American university which sics. character, but I never expected given me a personal alarm. For provides athletic scholarships regardless of academ- that my friend would have sex Third year courses include Exercise Physiology my birthday, she is giving me a ic merit; consequently, there is no such thing as a with me after I said no. He is a (containing a great deal of Biochemistry), Sports cellular phone so I can phone "dumb jock" here. Physcial Education students re- gentle and caring person but for Medicine, and various Coaching Theory courses. help from everywhere. She quire the same high averages to get into Laurier as sometimes he just doesn't listen. I In the Honours stream, courses such as Research doesn't realize that none of her in any other Arts program. The probability of find- required well Ad- thought he would listen about Methods and Statistics are as as gadgets would have protected me. ing a "dumb" Phys. Ed. student is the same as that Development, to something so important. vanced Biomechanics and Motor Surprised, I reacted slowly. I of finding a "dumb" Biology, History, French, name just a few. Students are also required to I don't like admitting I was first, couldn't believe that it could ac- English, Psychology, Sociology or Math student. volunteer in the Phys. Ed. field for at least two raped. At I told myself that it was my fault and that I had not tually happen to me. Before I Physical Education students are not necessarily years in order to graduate. made it clear enough that I didn't knew it I was pinned. "jocks". Most Phys. Ed. students are not varsity In short, Physical Education involves Anatomy, want sex. I said no twice and Talking about it is difficult, athletes. Many varsity athletes are not in Physical Biology, Biomechanics, Business, Classics, Coach- pushed him away once. should but it helps. I spent hours and Education. People in all disciplines have active, ing, Health, History, Motor Development, Philoso- I only have had to say no once. days talking about it with my healthy lifestyles involving sport. phy, Physical Activity, Psychology, Research I didn't know what to think at friends. If you are a survivor of Physical Education is not "gym". A maximum Methods, Sociology, Sports Medicine and first either. A friend told me it rape and don't feel comfortable of 1.5 activity credits are required for graduation-a Statistics. If you consider the of scope the abilities was rape, but I denied it because I talking to your friends or family, very small proportion of the program requirements. required to excel in this program you will also couldn't face the pain. I did not you can call a rape crisis centre. To say that Phys. Ed. is gym is the same as saying come to the conclusion that Phys. Ed not is "easy". want to accept that I had been They have volunteers who are that Business is math. Physical Education students graduate with a practi- interdisciplinary nature Physical Educa- violated. I thought I could forget there to listen and who under- The of cal yet broadly-based education worthy of respect. tion at Laurier is why I call it the most well- about it if I denied it. I couldn't. stand. rounded program without even taking electives into Rowan Meggison Besides, how do you accuse Rape is a horrible word and a someone you care about of such a horrible thing. It could happen to terrible thing? My friend anyone. The best protection is to Think, don't regurgitate eventually made me admit that, be aware of it and to take precau- because I said no, it was rape. It tions. Remember that most rapists Dear Editor, I am very frustrated because I my position. She does not take took a long time. are ordinary people and most Having been at Laurier for a am taking an "art" course, which into consideration my obvious in- I thought I was alone. I rapes occur in people's homes. few years, I am now periodically I had thought would be very in terest, participation and input, let needed to talk, but I didn't know The Women's Centre on campus wondering if I am at an institution teresdng and would also allow for alone my "effort" (doesn't apply where to turn. My friends were has lots of information about how which really suits my needs. In some personal interpretations and in university I suppose) in the very supportive but they could to avoid potentially dangerous fact, it would be interesting to insight. However, my professor class. not understand. Only a survivor situations. They can also give find out how many other students does not seem to care what I Conclusion: I am sick and of rape understands how it feels. more information about where to feel the same way as I. think. Rather, her tests require tired of being viewed as a univer- Most of my friends that I told ei- find help. It is possible to go on You see, It has always been memorization only and do not fa- sity student who is "supposed" to ther over-reacted or denied it. with your life after being raped. I my impression that this is an "in- cilitate individual opinions or think, when some professors One even accused me of lying. know I am going to be all right. stitution of higher learning." ideas. Also, when I have ap- don't give a damn about "what" My parents don't understand Now, I have some problems with proached her afterwards with we think! either. Every time I to my Name withheld by request this title because in many cases questions about my test results, I did not come to university to talk Laurier, (or at least the course or she never considers the fact that I "spit back out" what they tell me, prof) does not reflect that defini- might have my own opinion cause hey, they're not always tion. about the art work and that there right. To be honest, what's even I am questioning what the may be a remote chance that I more sad about my situation is Frat for charity purpose of my education should could be correct. that I have had professors like be, not what it is. The very thing Furthermore, she cares only this ever since I arrived at Dear Editor, which we are taught at university about "perfection", and its im- Laurier, but I am speaking out On Saturday, March 27, the Gentlemen of Sigma Chi from the is definitely lacking: "critical possible to reason with her or now because I need "good marks" lota Mu chapter here at Laurier will be holding a charity event. The charity for Network. thinking". pursuade her to try to understand (whatever they prove? - that's an- we are raising money is The Children's Miracle other story). The activity that we have planned is a four hour aerobathon on the From someone who knows front lawn of the Fraternity house. The house is located on Albert Street, | Last chance to | this school well, I say to all your directly across the road from the WLU library. The event will take pm until 5:00 pm. The pos- STING I fresh, new thinking stu- place from 1:00 event is being made I dents...keep on thinking, question sible because of the support the Waterloo Women's Centre is giving I with a letter to the Cord I your profs, and if your not learn- us. They made a sizable donation for the charity as well as supplying ing - protest! This university has us with 5 aerobic instructors who will take us through various aerobic I April 1 Is the last Issue, no foolIn' i an obligation to you. Oh ya, exercises. Cathy Elliot, the Sigma Chi Sweetheart of 92/93 gave us Professors can be wrong too. the idea of the aerobathon as well as helped us organize it, without If one cares enough to ques- her contributions the event would not be possible. If there are any tion his won education, then the people interested in helping us raise money for the Childrens Miracle university surely better respond Network, I would ask that they see any of the brothers and give them by acknowledging the fact that a a pledge or make a donation at the house. If your Saturday afternoon mere university student might be is not busy we would greatly appreciate your support. Drop by the right. house and watch us and the aerobic instructors sweat for our charity.

Chris A. Riou Kent Harding THE CORD 28 Comment Thursday, March 25,199m Drinking will make you stoopid Mark Hand Cord Comment 11 Rue Contantinople, Paris to be goes to explain not only those have, just recently, dis- exact. I do not recall the name of nasty memory lapses I always get covered the effect of al- the sleazy manager, for which I when I'm looped, but also why I I cohol on the human am very thankful. get stupid. brain. All right. If you must be I also do not recall falling Not just figuratively, but quite technical, I discovered it a long down those three flights of spiral literally stupid. Stupider than time ago, but play along with me stairs, for which I am even more usual, at any rate. on this one, okay? It sounds bet- thankful. Just a little aside about ter if I make this seem like some Right. Stupid. If you want a vasopressin, while I'm on the sort of epiphany or something. purely technical explanation, I'll topic. Cocaine, LSD, and Alcohol makes you stupid. give you one. If you don't, then amphetamines all increase the There. I said it. The stuff really just skip a few paragraphs. I don't amount of vasopressin your does make you stupid. There are really give a damn. Once alcohol pituitary gland is shooting into all sorts of jokes I could make gets its way into your blood- your brain, making you

here — like how after you finish a stream, it inhibits the release of a smarter...temporarily. bottle of tequila you have the brain hormone called vasopressin. Long term use of that shit will same IQ as the empty bottle it- Vasopressin is a wonderful tend to negate that effect while self, or how at some point be- little chemical, released by the using the drugs, making you quite tween starting and finishing a pituitary gland, that does all sorts stupid while you're not using case of beer your IQ is exactly of important things, and without them. Use at own risk. equal to the number of bottles which we'd all be like the tequila Also, marijuana works the

you have drained - but I think bottle I refused to make a joke same way as alcohol, lowering jokes like that are really cheesy about earlier. Only we would be your vasopressin levels, ergo so I won't. even less likely Mensa material. your intelligence. The effect is Where the hell was I? Oh Vasopressin is a key operator only temporary, though, so don't yeah, stupidity. I won't go into in things like attention, con- take a fit or anything. The techni- the details of how I first dis- centration, memory retention, cal term for this temporary covered that alcohol makes a per- short and long-term recall, and stupidity is "gumminess", as in: son stupid, that's a private matter stuff like that. Anyway, without "Yeah Tom, I am feeling pretty between me, a lot of vodka, and vasopressin, our brains also can- gummy today, how about you?" the sleazy manager of a sleazier not imprint things onto our Vasopressin is available in a French hotel. The Hotel Letezia, memory centres, all of which nasal spray at your local pharmacy, with a prescription. One whiff and about ten seconds tion as to why tequila is such guess makes me pretty stupid later you are, quite literally, gosh-darned nasty stuff. Why I even when I'm not drinking. I smarter...fora while. At least, you remember...never mind. That's smoke more when I am drinking. PINK INK remember things a lot better. And between me, the ice on the I sense a correlation here. by you cancel out the effect of al- driveway, and that snowmobile. Have you ever, when you're Denys Daivs cohol making you stupid. You Now where the hell was I? Oh drunk, realized how stupid you are, and in a brief flash of insight mere couple of weeks ago it was ruled by the Supreme still lose motor control and all yeah, still on stupid. So if it's thought: "Hey, this must be how Court of Ontario that homosexuals and lesbians could that kind of crap. You just re- such common knowledge that al- stupid people feel all the time"? legally marry...someone of the opposite sex. It's just my member it all. cohol is so bad for you, why is it A Yeah, you remember, right before opinion — and of course I am not a lawyer so what do I know about Great. legal? That's stupid. Let me get a totally aside. illegal, you went and voted Tory. Foolish the Charter of Rights and law in general — but why would a gay Now unrelated this straight: grass is al- from being al- (regular mortals. man want to marry a woman? Tequila, apart cohol is legal. Smoking Drinking, when you think The whole point of the case in question was missed by two of coholic, also contains modest tobacco) is also legal. Wait a amounts narcotic about it, is a pretty stupid thing to the three judges sitting on the bench. Todd Layland and his lover of minute, cigarettes don't make you thingamadoobies in it. Just do. Which could explain why you Pierre Beaulne had applied for a marriage license which was sub- stupid, they just kill you. Well, thought I'd mention that, and I always want to drink more when sequently denied. Two judges ruled that there was no violation to that's ok then, isn't it? hope it clears up a lot of specula- I smoke, by the way. Which I continued on page 29 the Charter on the basis that gays and lesbians were not denied the right to marriage, they could after all, marry someone of the oppo- site sex. The one judge who had any sense did recognize the violation, thus giving Beaulne and Layland encouragement to carry on further appeals to the Federal courts. At this point there is no official word as to whether this will happen. Ban the bubble While following the media on this story I ran across an editorial by Graham Haig (of the Haig-Birch case). In it he outlined some rather interesting points of history. Less than 2 000 years ago same-sex marriages were recognized in the Roman Empire. The Emperor himself performed the mar- Retrospect riage. In ancient China there were identical ceremonies for same- The weekinreview sex and opposite-sex couples. When the Europeans first arrived in by Pat Brethour Has no one stopped to think that what is being North America they found same-sex partners among certain Indian when I was sure the university admin- said is important too? All students have had a bad tribes. istration didn't have a sense of humour, professor, someone who made you wonder why The Celts and certain Germanic tribes continued to recognize Justthey prove me wrong. It's the time of year you (or they) were in university. The evaluation same-sex unions even after the Catholic Church defined when students are asked to evaluate their profes- system should allow students to give vent to the homosexuality as a sin in 400 AD. The decline of homosexual sors. And if the evaluation process isn't humourous, frustration that such a professor breeds. recognition really didn't come fully until 1179, where at the third it sure as hell is laughable. And some of us have had inspiring professors. Lateran Council of the Church, it was decreed that homosexual Professor evaluations should be a chance for But the blue form makes no allowance for this type clergy and homosexuals be excommunicated. In the century, this students to give criticism or praise to the people of thing. And how could it? A statement such as became canon law which allowed the persecution of gays through responsible for their academic careers. Instead, stu- "The instructor opened my eyes to life's pos- castration, hanging, dismemberment, and burning at the stake. dents are handed a delightful blue form, labelled sibilities" might seem a titch out of place. Along with these changes came a change in the marriage prac- "Wilfrid Laurier University Teaching Evaluation". The bubble system of evaluation is a crock. It tice. Eventually, marriage came to be controlled by the state (as late Instead, they are instructed to fill in bubbles, using denies students a real voice in evaluating their as 1857 in England) not the church. With this shift, history began to only an HB pencil, of course. professors. see less arranged marriages for political or family gain and more a "The instructor spoke clearly and audibly" is Things weren't always this way, though. Three move towards individualism. Finally people, as long as they were one of the questions on the form. The last time I years ago, students were handed two forms. One heterosexual, were allowed to marry as they wished, independent of checked, there was a great deal more to an effective was the standard bubble form. The other was a their families' wishes. Under state control, marriage was easier (as professor than a healthy set of lungs. sheet of paper upon which students could write was divorce) child welfare was introduced, and property and in- "The instructor attended classes regularly and their own comments. After a business professor heritance laws were completely rewritten. arrived promptly." What the hell? If my professor abused the system by threatening students who had It seems that society is changing. In this century, the move isn't coming to class, something is very wrong. criticized him, the university dropped the second towards individualism has furthered itself, especially in the last That the prof made it to class most of the time isn't form. Only the bubbles remained. twenty or thirty years. Women may now vote, blacks can ride in the much cause for celebration, in and of itself. One of the potential recommendations of the front of a bus to their favourite restaurant where they will be served. And what is the administration going to do with Academic Restructuring Committee is a reformed to Why can't homosexuals get married? This right was stolen from us this type of information? I can see the promotional teacher evaluation system, with a possible return by the 'wisdom' of the church and has been denied reinstatement by literature: "Come to Wilfrid Laurier University, written evaluations. the 'wisdom' of the state. where over 50 per cent of our professors speak I have a radical suggestion for the committee. Whether or not Layland and Beaulne are given a marriage cer- clearly and audibly. That's right, at Laurier you can Replace the bubble form. The new form is quite tificate they are married. They have a union and vow to themselves, hear what almost five out of ten professors are simple: a blank piece of paper. no matter what the government says. Their friends, family, and saying to you." And if the university refuses to allow students a employers recognize this bond. If by denial, society thinks that it Or, "Welcome to Wilfrid Laurier, where 90 per voice, why...l believe it's time students burst the

- can eliminate homosexual unions, they had better think again. Gay cent - yup, nine out of ten professors actually administration's bubble, and boycotted the bubble and lesbian marriages are going to happen anyway. make it to their classes." forms. THE CORD Thursday. March 25. 1993 Comment 29 Vegetarianism is human-friendly too Jim Lowe and people think before they make oming a vegetarian. Chowing Catherine Phillips Cord Comment their choices. down on your favorite T-bone There are a number of issues fills your body with far more is not another article to consider when deciding what cholesterol than you ever need: about the trials and to put on your plate. Five of those cholesterol coursing through your Thistribulations of being a important reasons are health, the body, clogging your arteries and vegetarian. Neither is it an at- environment, economics and the turning your physique into a slug- tempt to convert the meat-eating ethical treatment of both humans gish deposit of fat. segment of the population to and animals. Many people mistakenly be- vegetarianism. It is simply an arti- The health issue is, perhaps, lieve that the human body re- cle designed to educate; to make the most obvious reason for bec- quires meat in order to maintain proper nutrition and a healthy level of protein. This is a false image portrayed by those who profit from the meat industry. WOMEN WORDS By maintaining a varied diet by members of the Women's Centre that includes such things as grains, legumes, nuts, fruits and by Jennifer Hamilton vegetables, the body can easily sustain a much healthier level of one of the most entrenched cultural icons, the Bar- nutrition. Eliminating meat from Recently,bie doll, has come under fire. Mattel released a Barbie your diet provides less op- products — particularly in the and fattening animals for the sole which, something to -- model when you pulled its suing, said portunity for chemicals, growth summer months are more likely reason of slaughtering them is not of, "Math the effect class is tough." Needless to say, this displeased hormones, pesticides and genetic to be grown in the local com- cruel enough, then the living con- great people. They a many were concerned about the influence this altering substances to enter your munity, generating income for ditions that these animals must would have on little girls and their attitude toward math. Due to body. small-scale farmers, rather than endure is. public pressure, Mattel pulled the model offthe market. Environmental issues are also multi-national conglomerates. Chickens are routinely kept in Does Barbie really have that much influence? important when deciding on a Most people purchase these coops too small for them to I considered my own experiences as a female in a culture of dietary plan. In South America, products anyway, it is merely a spread their wings. Veal calves Barbie, Barbie dolls and Disney movies. I played with although she great portions of the rain forest matter of increasing their are fed inadequate food portions hadn't penetrated the mathematics realm at that point. I loved Snow have been clear-cut in order to quantities while eliminating meat. —laced with growth hormones -- and Today I am a feminist, a university student — White Cinderella. better breed cattle. The ethical treatment of hu- and denied the freedom to even and, to the great annoyance of some of my friends, an amateur There, and in other parts of mans and animals may be of less move their legs. People f.cr.d to My changed. prefer to media critic. role models have I Naomi Wolf the world, raising meat and concern to some than health or defend the industry by claiming Barbie, and Susan Faludi to Snow White. Obviously cultural icons poultry exploits land which could economics, but deserves serious such examples are rare. Un- and stereotypes are easily combated with age and maturity. Right? be better used for more produc- thought. There is little regard for fortunately, it is the organic and Wrong. I remember, even as a young child, how important it tive means of food production. human welfare among meat pro- free-range farmers, that give the was to be pretty. This continued into adolescence. I thought I was On the road to becoming ducers. Quite often, substandard, animals humane treatment and fat. I thought I was ugly. None of my accomplishments ever meant vegetarian reports that it takes chemical ridden products are free reign, who are the exception, as much as a compliment regarding my attractiveness, especially sixteen pounds of grain to pro- dumped into poorer markets by not the norm. from a male. duce each pound of beef; clearly the meat and poultry industry. In From a very early age, most As I began to develop, I wanted to colour my brown hair a misuse of arable land. Also of some cases, chickens riddled with Canadians are taught that meat blonde. I wanted larger breasts and smaller hips and thinner legs. I concern is the waste and pollution growth hormones have caused consumption is healthy and more wanted be shorter. I would have gladly traded in brains to my to that is generated by the styrofoam breast development and than acceptable. As adults, how- have boys like me. At thirteen, the two seemed incompatible. and plastic wrappers that the dis- menstruation in girls as young as ever, it is important that we I look at pictures today and realize that I wasn't ugly, and I sected portions of these animals five. weigh all the information regard- certainly wasn't fat. I would look ridiculous with blonde hair and I are stuffed into. When all these On top of this, workers in the ing our dietary selections. actually prefer brown. I appreciate my intellect and some boys do factors are considered, you are worldwide industry are habitually Don't eat meat because every- like me. I have to admit, however, I am a little ticked I stopped left with an industry which takes subjected to atrocious health con- one else does and, on the other growing at age twelve. up vast amounts of land, while ditions and meager wages. Of hand, don't stop eating meat on I back when think to my self-esteem began to develop, when I generating huge quantities of gar- course, one simple fact cannot be the basis of one column. Do some became more comfortable with body, my with my sexuality. This bage and contamination. ignored: if more people turned to research into the various reasons development happened only when I I never realized that would look From an economic standpoint, a vegetarian lifestyle, more for an alternative diet, and make like Barbie or a fashion model or any of the other culturally dictated vegetarianism can benefit one's people around the globe would an informed decision. feminine icons. I also realized that part of what made me attractive pocketbook. Quite simply, fruits, eat. You never know, the more was me. veggies and the stables of a This shocking disregard for your find out about the meat in- I was an entire being, not a shell. vegetarian's diet are substantially humans is perhaps only rivaled dustry, the less you may w nt to I'm glad to through be adolescence, but I wish to emphasize the cheaper than meat. by the industry's horrendous digest it. pain to get it took here: hours in front of the mirror, dieting, Beyond the financial savings treatment of the animals them- aerobics, the frustration never of being happy with myself. I didn't that an individual can reap, fresh selves. If the premise of raising Wacky drunk realize what I was fighting against - hormones and genetics will continued from page 28 get you every time — or what I was fighting for: cultural ideals which were not only biological impossibilities, but also meaning- you're drunk. Because the al- cohol makes you stupid, you want less. And, despite my awareness of this, concentration on ap- CEREBELLA by Ryan Feeley pearance still remains a bad habit. more. Makes perfect sense. end this soon. Let me I'm not alone in this battle. I constandy hear women denigrate I should sum up: makes you their physical appearances. Their hips are too big, their legs are too alcohol of people know al- short, their breasts aren't big enough. stupid. Lots cohol makes you stupid. Yet it's As compared to whom? legal. And that's stupid. Which And, as we all know, this denigration, extends beyond the self to leads me to conclude that all other women. The physical 'flaws' of other women can give us in- law en- stant superiority or inferiority. It's a fine line we walk when we politicians, lawyers, and forcement people are drunk all depend upon the 'flaws' of others for our own self-esteem. the time: they make the laws, and Men don't seem to share in this part of culture. Most men don't they enforce them. strive to be like a Ken doll, and there is no male equivalent to Cindy To make a stupid thing like Crawford. Cultural male icons run the gamut from Arnold Schwar- alcohol -- which makes you zenegger to Woody Allen, and everything in between. It's also a stupid — legal, must be rare occasion that I've heard a man comment on the physical ap- you pearance of another male. stupid. Therefore you must be I read a statistic recently which encapsulates this difference: 80 drunk. per cent of men are content with their bodies, while 80 per cent of Damn, but I love this wacky women aren't. The numbers of women having plastic surgery, with world. eating disorders, can attest to this dissatisfaction. You know, I was sure this I admit that I still sometimes fall into that 80 per cent. We are a whole thing was leading some- where began, I'll society which focuses on image — but why is image so gready em- when I but be phasized for women? And why are the icons of femininity not rep- damned if I know what I'm writ- resentational of the female population at large? ing. This skinking word pro- probably smarter than I Why do we look to a plastic doll whose proportions are such cessor's right I think I'll just that, if it were real, it would have trouble standing upright? And we am now. soak my hard drive with Ouzo do look to these cultural icons. and play a game of chess with the During my annual bout with the flu, I watched a great many talk old computer. Then we'll see shows. On one of these shows, a woman revealed she wanted to "be who's mammal and who's ma- Barbie". She had had eighteen plastic surgeries. Regarding her chine, yes sir. And lose, genius IQ, she told the audience: "Brains never got me anywhere." if I I'll just light the Ouzo on fire. What a wacky world. THE CORD 30 Comment Thursday, March 25, 1993 CORDFEEDBACK We're here to hear. Cleaning house boys, but taught their girls to do taught as boys the role Terry Humphreys comment of such chores. housewife (as little The Cord's Feedback Booth is open each Thursday, from 10am to every girl was I blame mothers, be- so well drilled), their version 4 pm, in the Concourse. All members of the Laurier community are those men out there don't of a doing welcome to comment, although students will be given priority. who are presently living cause they lived in society housework is the dishes once every other month Comments appear unedited. All comments must include the sub- Forwith a woman, or con- where that was the norm, but and making sure their dirty clothes mitter's ID number. Issues of pressing or enduring interest will be templating doing so, listen up. somewhere this cycle has to end. go the hamper, not on the — into commented upon by The Cord. We're your student paper so make We are going to talk today about There is a lot of housework. floor. is a responsibility your view known. There is laundry, dishes, dusting, Housework that vacuuming, sweeping, disinfect- takes hours (plural) out of a mopping, the list is endless. woman's week. For the love of Abba, Pat, resign. Loved the Retrospect ing, The Men's Room women been -Darren Mahaffy Because have Ask your girlfriend or wife if by members of Men Against trained to clean, it sometimes be- she thinks you honestly do your comes an unconscious activity Feeley? Violence Against Women fair share of the housework. You Where's Ryan that is done with the same sort of --Jen Billiaws might just be plenty surprised by equality in the distribution of mentality as riding a bike. You the response. We can no longer household duties. As everyone is never forget how and it is done rest on the socialization argument see more of the Second Cup saga. Maybe the Second Cup aware, Leave It To I'd like to hopefully the without conscious processing. that we can't change because that meets Age or the dinosaurs. are the Ice Beaver days are over. Women This is quickly used by men is the way we were raised. -Christopher Griffin no longer content to sit at home, as an excuse as to why they do Expectations are changing relegating their lives to taking not partake in the work. I hear cleaning after men. men things like "She likes and we have to look to the future Great Retrospect article. care of and up say or for a more equitable solution. -Luke Morrison Women never should have cleaning the house" "She's been relegated there in the first never complained to me about There is a good saying by place. But the history of society doing housework, so everything Norm Peterson's character off sex Good variety of issues in letters to the Interesting supplement. has unfairly given the role of the must be fine, besides, why rock Cheers: "Women. You can't live editor. Keep it up! maid to the women. the boat?" with them ... pass the beer nuts." Hayes -David This 1950's mindset is still with us today. It pervades our Dean, you're running out of time. lifestyle in subtle, and not so sub- "Women, you can't live with —Steve Rideout tle ways. Who does the cleaning in your house? You probably them. Pass the beer nuts." Alright Derek Kodama! Way to stick it to those who deserve it! think you do the majority of it, -Michael Bolton right? If you are female, you're Truth be known, housework is I think men can live with right. If you're male, survey never, nor has it ever been, an en- women, but men have to stop Men on sports: please quit picking the flyer! You guys are bad luck! says...X. Men just don't clean, joyable experience. resting on the privileges of out- They on a five game winning streak if not for you! would be period. The mindset comes from Men might think they do their dated sex-roles and take responsi- -Paul Blais our mothers who made it their re- share of household chores, but bility for changing the way we sponsibility to clean up after their because they have not been think. SHOOTING Question: If you could break any bone in the FROM Editor's body, which bone would it be and why? THELIP The Shots: "I would break his skull so I "I would break his hands so could get a piece of his mind." maybe we would get a rest from Darren Mahaffy his editorials for a week...No, I Honours Extortion wouldn't break anything, I'd just cut his hair." Alex Stangret Politics 101

"Vhat do you sink? I vould break his damn spine if 'e 'ad one." Jean Chretien Pat's Arch Enemy "Given how often he gets to use it, I wouldn't bother breaking the "Since he doesn't have a funny boner." bone, it can't be that one." Shelley Worden Mark Hand Not-Editor- Books Manager Fifth Year Anymore By Ingrid Nielsen and Scott McKay Processing Service. jj]f)/ GlaososifiedosWord a I Reports, resumes, letters, mailing VOLUNTEERS NEEDED! L' \ \ J. Cheap housing. Two large rooms etc. on recycled lists, form letters, Show you care by assisting youth I In >n Clean house May93 - Apr94, Dictaphone, equation edit- \ nf) paper. through tough times. \]\ K/ly II I parking. $200 + utilities. i optical scanning available. - HOME, 743-1869. 'I' I OPERATION GO |j] ( | Call Audrey 884-7123. 749-0323 Apartment for rent - 3 bedrooms - Close to University; parking, T T/A 4~\ ri : CHEAP SUBLET on Ezra Ave. fl T - \/ me y° ur f°r y°u! laundry facilities $315 per per- + | Energetic and enthusiastic $150/month utilities, 4 rooms,

111 - JVy y | | years experience. On campus volunteers are needed to assist in- son/month incl utilities Avail- . T - IX/ /18 AJ - sociable front poreh M any- -M pickup, delivery. dividuals who have a disability able May93-May94 Call 416-

time, as or anybody. 7 -55 . Bring all your friends and enter in Call Sharon 656-3387. on a one -to-one basis, in their 509-3284. Rally race held April ~ the Car Fri. pursuit of leisure activities. For c

- - Summer Sublet 2. $5/person, sign-up sheet in TYPING English Grad with more information call Lee at House for rent 5 bedrooms - Marshall, P3117A. Party at Stingers after- IBM computer. $4.00 for four 741-2228 Close to University; parking, 17 location, rent, wards. pages, $5.00 for every ten pages. laundry facilities. $250 per per- Great Reasonable Nancy - Call DESPERATE FOR WORK! son/month plus utilities Avail- 725-8616 ~ ~ Bad driver? Been in lots of acci- 745-0739 $675/week plus able May93-May94 - Call 416- rooms / Summer sublet $200, 6 dents? That's ok, we'll take you _ Work from home or travel across 509-3284. ° available in house on Bricker St., ' ' . nt ' and B C re isterin g anyway! So sign up for Tamiae's ™ S m A parking, laundry, patio. Car Rally Fri. April 2in P3117A. M 1 homeowners for long distance HOTEL LAURIER BBQ Til /4/-U/11 Hurry! Hurry! Wo!! P ft I savings. Over $29,000 in student Singlesl9.9s I I 11 I ' 11 scholarships awarded. Send $37 00 l/i Double Meded Waterloo Wellington Myalgic 1 resumes/applications to: May . Augusl tojhare SeUng Division SfSe— Al, Sorts Books *3* KM to StudentRecruitment program ill I * ferers, their family and friends Going out of business sale. Qual- for more info

- Ontario, N2L - shirt), 10K $12 (Ist 100 regis- come up to the Cord. Waterloo, 3E9. house - close to WLU tered receive free t-shirt), $15 on $ 100/month per room. L race day. Registration forms FOR SALE: Early 80's Aria Male volunteers are urgently Call (416) 509-3284. |\ available in the Concourse on Proll Electric Guitar with hard needed to assist on a one-to-one __—— I | pj |f"\ Ipi Mar. 18, 23, and 25, at the A.C. carrying case; dark walnut finish, basis, male individuals who have Great house for sublet. 4 big I It 1 jj I/A I a disability and are involved in custom tuning-pegs & dual hum- bedrooms. Huge livingroom. Big [ (yV^IIUjLvLj Attention Scuba Divers! Laurier bucker pickups. $250. Call James leisure activities. Call Lee @ yard. Free parking. Please call 741-2228. Sea Hawks will be organizing a @ 884-5092. Lisa at 725-8298 Red and Britelite , trip to underwater Canada & the The games you play Pmft, Newlv rennvatedeno sublet availablea . WANTED: Volunteers to help re- Newty ib \\^l Brunswick House Saturday April // wm hurt someday people to guaran- cy cle on camP us - Can helP as Beware your fire burns 3. We need 40 3 bedroom bungalow, 2 baths, , aun drv sem furnished 1 1/2 & llttle as flve minutes a week! Call baby & all the others! tee a bus. Please sign the sheet deck, pool, garage, 2 bedroom ba. hs LRentnl negot.ne2ot CallCal] 884 8396. or Kevin, baths. on the club's board by the Second living ™m in basement. 5 mins Ellen Environmental Co-Ordinators at WLUSU 884- Cup if you want to go. For more walk to WLU. 75 Marshall St. Twq 5 apartments in tri- 1 lived across the sea. What 1360. boys info contact Jason Stangroom at $154,900. 885-2582 p[ex parking, 1 & 1/2 g°od swimmers Laurier

" 885 0250 - to WLU. would be. TeeHee ~n iT TM TncD baths, 5 mm' walk money VOLUNTEER DRIVERS Lots of mealcard for sale, 16/month + utilities NEEDED ACCKWA, the AIDS • 1/2 price. Call Kris at 884-6035. J (4\^%S66 Sphelikey you're the BEST! I | | Committee of Cambridge, K-W

arCa y dnVerS " VWinP'Q Rooms for rent $275 per month. Mike, Mike, ( L All you need is liability insur- He's not nearly as pointy as a / y(M 5 minute walk to WLU. 75 Mar- X I VIV V vehicle, and V/V1 V IWvy ance, a reliable some shall Si 885 stalagmite or stalactite,

" free Call 748 5556 - —— love RESUMES $20 - WORD PRO- I h.m, love CESSING $1.50/PAGE on laser 5 - Bedroom townhouse only I him, (ouch!) - I love him printer. Professional and quick. Waterloo NDP Riding Associa- $275/mo. May Aug. ($1250 ' Spelling & grammar corrected. tion starting new Campus NDP Sept/Apr) Good location ; > Hey A. How was your Done by qualified Ph.D. student, « Club. Also working with Ontario (Bluevale) near campus and weekend. \ Mine was pretty bonng...same ole English major. Kathy, 744-7391 . New Democratic Youth. Scott amenities. Iyr lease, poss. sum- "\\TT V| \ Paitkowski 746-8225. mer sublet. 1 763 1988 (Guelph) stuff...went to a movie... ruined a — life...nothin much!! Income tax returns professionally \V I [ta -j- ￿">1 prepared to save you $$, com- \KI /*| 111 C I WANTED: Jello (the type I love) Cheap summer sublet, 1-2 bdrms, Mac House Roomies: puter calculated for accuracy, VY V>LJI X for a trip to Sarnia. If interested $125 + utilities, 140 A Weber St. electronically filed for quick see the Violinist. N, Furnished, must go immed. ACCKWA needs volunceer Red or Bnteli e Free pick-up and . Call Troy 886-2318. refunds. couns elors fortor thertherapeuticaneutic sud-sup /s delivery, reasonable rates. Call Qnly two weeks lefl (JJ Port, bereavement counselling T Raymond Ash, 638-3940 or Doug I For Rent: Large 5 bedroom Your bait awaits!! stess management services. Bertrand, 669-3092 house. May to May. Call 748-5556. I I QT/M&L| / Smashed! Call 885-6736 • Quarterback ~ ~ // I will do term papers, theses, Well not quite smashed but sure beats Love resumes with computer and laser Summer Positions. Now inter- 3& 1/2" disk lost with my Psych 2 roomies needed. Call 884-0876 Wilf's psych! viewing for summer positions as Golden Hawk Beer! printer. Experience in APA. Fast THESIS on it You found k twQ a SoJat and hawkie! turnaround. Sandy 658-1028. College Pro painter. Apply at weeks ago . Please call me (746- Beautiful 5 bedroom licenced golden, career services or call 884-8630. ~ 4141) 1 can't track it. Phil Mun. house on King St. adjacent to . ; ; Quality word processing by a uni- Laurier. One year lease May to HO I m beginning to panic...il we versity graduate (English). Fast, Individuals are invited to submit April 1994. Call 748-2029 first don t get tetris soon, then we professional service. Spell any form of print media for a cof- then 743-4447. HO will be without next year check/minor grammatical correc- fee table book due XMAS 93. \ 112 HO ...and what will be our Seven bedroom house available HO major then. tions available. Laser printer. Original submissions must ad- 1 / 112 Call Suzanne 886-3857 dress the subject of September 1993 for 1 year lease. My ROMANCE.CaII Mark or Ed @ 1 VBfir This house is licenced and is lo- slipper misses you. WORD PROCESSING 888-0720 for info. 1 \l cated on Erb St. Call 743-2029 $1.50/pg, HIRE ME I'M BROKE 11 I )I in / , Five bedroom unit available Christina, 746-2580 Want Cin 112 1 1 I R Wanted. Single fosexy man to 1 1 AM\ I I d Upi ex . September 1993. Stfoke Smgle female S6Xy ego! Cardill Cres. Near Albert & Enquire within... 1111I I H J / / | Columbia. Call 748-2029. THE CORD 32 Advertisement Thursday. March 25. IQQ? CUAMEST, \A*6tST, lAmf>R0HAr /# I

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