— Q/fte&t t/ve GOtftU/ww Neil Bissoondath Selling Illusions Born in Trinidad, Neil Bissoondath has lived in Canada since 1973. He will be discussing his personal exploration of the cult of multiculturalism in Canada. Monday, October 17 at Noon, I Mfl J I I Paul Martin Centre Sponsored by the WLU Bookstore

• • "The tiethethatbinds sitice 1926" Volume XXXVCord issue Eight Wednesday, October 5,1994 • WLU Student publications

SCOTT STINSON Cord Sports It really didn't mean that much. Really. Yes folks, despite the heartbreaking 24-22 loss to the University of Western Ontario Mustangs on Saturday, Laurier's Golden Hawks football team is still alive and well. Not that the game was meaningless. After all, the Hawks would have almost certainly been ranked num- ber one in the country had they toppled the top- ranked Mustangs. That would have been nice. It also would have been nice to win on Homecoming weekend, in front of a huge and enthusiastic crowd. Hell, it would have

The battle may be lost... been nice to beat Western butwarthe ain'tover if only for the sake of beat- ing Western. Despite those reasons, the game wasn't that important. Let me explain. In a normal season, the worst result of a loss to Western during the regular season is the loss of home field advantage in the playoffs. Home field advantage goes to the team with the best regular season record. The 'Stangs are now 4-0 while the Hawks are 3-1, both with three games remaining against inferior opposition. Both teams should close out the season with wins. Normally, this would mean Laurier would have to meet Western on their home turf in the playoffs. But this isn't a normal season. You see, the Mustangs are cheaters. The OUAA discovered last sea- son that Western had used an academically ineligible player a couple of seasons ago. Very bad. People lose their jobs over this kind of things. But instead, it was decided that Western would not be allowed to host a playoff game this season as punishment. Suckers. Now, assuming that Laurier and Western both advance to the Yates Cup final, which is a distinct possibility, the Mustangs would have to come here to play the game. At Seagram Stadium. In front of another loud crowd. Perfect.

out Huculiak and Heasley's story on candidate Come on rugby team. Whoo. ...Where it's at... Moffat. I did....OPlNlON...Excellent editorial. Whoo...ENTERTAINMENT...SeIene McLeod takes THIS ISSUE Chuck. It willreally make you think. Another great centre stage as she writes her articles on her musi- News 3 opinion piece is Shawn Graham's on the UN army cal travels. Great review by the Gurus. But as for thought had this cover tiling figured proposal. View the Farm back to those they are driving Paul 1 12 So, you you from takes you Entertainment editors, Opinion out? Psych! We thought you might need some- I lomecoming festivities, in cise there is some rea- batty...VERY IMPORTANT...We will not be pub- Feature 16 thing to distract you from that heartbreaking defeat son why you might not remember. Tell me you lishing next week due to Thanksgiving. Okay, that's Sports 18 on Saturday to that...team. Look at poor Bill. don't hum when you read that just a cover. We are actually sending Paul to a quiet, Entertainment 24 Despite his record-breaking performance, he still headIine...FEATURE..A very important issue this peaceful place (a.k.a.funny farm) to recharge. 1 mourns the loss for his team. Now that's a troop- week. The various writers explore the topics sur- think we will get group rates. And yes, the Cord Classifieds 29 er...NEWS..A student By-election is fast approach- rounding AIDS. Well done...SPORTS...What else Guide is coming out next week. It's coming, it's Neu Studenten Kunst 30 ing, and some interesting issues have arisen. Check can be said. No more football, for awhile anyway. coming... mrifPiciTY M J HTCLU B Come and visit Canada's #1 rated Theme Nightclub You enter thru our subway and climb to street level to over 13,000 sq. ft. stretched over three city blocks. Take a walk down our streets, visit our stores, experience the city.... INNER CITY!

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™ IS| Expires 3/94 £ S !fc! Hgjg Expires | BQQI 3/94 £"g , H744-CITY-11 WaterSt. N„ Kitchener 8g Ln~«J 1744-CITY-11 Water St. It Kitchener Ig! § ,mi aouimitr am? aituv aim t«k cuma jMi aoMmwr a» aim sua m» curia °t£ NEWS Moffat places bid for the BOD spot he once gave up WATSON KELI Laurier studentspreparefor PtCTRE: Wednesday, October 12by-election

JOHN HUCULIAK The resignation itself was conducted at an reasons I outlined in the Open Foaim". seen by himself, the Board, and Moffat. AND MARK HEASLEY in camera meeting of the Students' Union, Moffat also stated that he "informed both Although BOD did not further investigate Cord News where no records are kept and only the Ralph Spoltore (Students' Union President the claims presented, "when he (Moffat) was By-election candidate Craig Moffat resigned Directors themselves are present. 1994/95) and Joel Lynn (Board of Directors confronted with this 6 to 7 months ago ... last Spring as a Director from the Students' A letter was submitted earlier this week to Chairperson) early on that I might have to the Board found fault with him, and he con- Union. The same position he is now attempt- the Cord resign if my ceded he was in the wrong", Taylor ing to regain. anonymously, conditions (stat- explained. The reason for this year's By-election is which offered The sole reason ed at the Open At the Open Foaim, Moffat replied to a Moffat's resignation last Spring. Although details which Forum) wors- question on the appropriateness of a Code of another position opened up on the Board of cannot be thisyear's ened". Conduct for the Students' Union by saying Directors, the Students' Union was under no referred to in for that "I feel there is a need for ... a minor code obligation to fill it since this second resigna- this article, "Moffat came to (to be) put into effect." tion, given by Jay Wadden (now VP Finance) due to the by-election is me after resign- He clarified that the Code would be "a t(X)k place after September 1, 1994. confidentiality ing", said guide for Students' Union time. What we do When Moffat was asked for the reasons laws regard- Moffat's resignation Spoltore,"(he) on our own time is our own business." for his initial resignation in an Open Fonim, ing in camera told me it had On the issue of a BOD Code of Conduct he said, "I resigned due to personal and meetings. worked out for as it applied in this case, Taylor drew a com- financial reasons. I was working 35 hours a A letter that Moffat himself contends con- the test- had personal and financial problems parison to a similar case saying that "There's a

week, plus school and Students' Union; it was tains "false" claims. When asked whether to deal with ... He would review his situa- bunch of people who are going after Russ t(x> much. 1 wasn't sure I'd be able to do it these claims were the reason why he tion to see if life had changed for him to run Clark, for example. But that was a judicial (BOD) again until this year". resigned, Moffat simply replied "No". again". matter that happened off-campus, he's lieen Moffat later said that these problems were He continued, "I choose not to address Sean Taylor, 1993/94 Students' Union punished and paid his debt to society. Moffat "solved. (And) will not happen again". these claims, I chose instead to resign for the President, acknowledged that the letter was was an entirely different case." 400 join in walk for AIDS

TINA ROYER ter). As the day went on there Cord News was live entertainment, refresh- Imagine four hundred people ments, and a lot of walking. of all ages walking ten kilome- The mood shifted to a ters together for the same more serious one as the crowd cause. was reminded of the reason for Now picture two or three the event. hundred enthusiastic volun- Wayne Rush, an AIDS teers armed with balloons, activist and victim of the dis- bazookas and supportive voic- ease, gave a moving speech to es cheering this diverse group the crowd about his experi- through the streets of K-W. ences living with AIDS. You have just caught a According to Rush, AIDS glimpse of the ACCKWA Walk patients face daily obstacles in For AIDS that took place at gaining access to experimental Victoria Park on Sunday drugs and funding. The aver- October 2. age cost for drugs and treat- The event was a success, ment is $600 a month and is with four hundred registered not funded by private or gov- walkers and $35 657 in ernment health plans. pledges. Although the organi- Like many AIDS patients, zation didn't reach its goal of Rush faces an uncertain future. WATSON $40 000, its members are opti- Fundraising events such as the KEll mistic that more pledges will walk make "looking into his be the coming a easier." The walk provided an opportunity for everyone made within future lot weeks. The success of such events to make a contribution to the fight against AIDS PICTURE: The impact and success of is uplifting, but as Dave Grant, this event was not solely finan- an organizer of K-W's walk cial. It provided an opportunity says, such support and efforts for students, professionals, to "ensure the quality of life of AIDS patients, and children to people living with AIDS can't No Foot Patrol this weekend join together to make a person- end tcxlay." al contribution to the fight None the less, the optimism Foot Patrol will be closed this Thanksgiving holiday weekend against AIDS. displayed in community efforts from Friday, October 7th, until Monday, Qclober 10th. The party began with like Sunday's event provide words of thanks and encour- hope that AIDS patients will agement, (Prime Minister Jean someday "walk" into a better Chretien sent a supportive let- future.

• • The Cord News October 5, 1994 3 regarding his actions and will he dealt with by the DAC.

Trespassing 0130 Hrs Sun Oct. 02/94 Bag female WLU were If's the O' Crime, eh! Three students apprehended on the field at Seagram Stadium who claimed to From the Office of Peter Jorg, WLU dropped his pants and presented be laid. be taking a short cut. They indicat- Actiiig Chief of Security< and Guide Disturbance his buttocks for the officers to view. ed to the officer that they thought Through the Midnight Darkness 0155 Hrs Fri. Sept 30/94 He was issued a trespass notice and Assault that this would be the closest they While on patrol, officers observed a evicted from campus. 1645 Hrs Sat Oct. 01/94 would ever come to being cheer- Theft Under $1000 male student in the area of the A University of Western Ontario stu- leaders. They are being referred to 1445 Hrs Tue Sept 27/94 Conrad Residence dressed in boxer Trespassing dent has been charged with assault the DAC. A WLU student reported that her shorts. The individual was appre- 0200 Hrs Sat Oct. 01/94 after jumping from stands during wallet had been stolen from her hended and warned regarding his Two males were charged with tres- the Homecoming football game Obtain Transportation By Fraud bag when she left it unattended for actions. No further action was passing alter breaking down a por- and tackling the WLU mascot from 0220 Hrs Sun Oct. 02/94 a few moments in the concourse. required. tion of the constniction fence and behind, knocking him to the Officers were summoned to the Her wallet was later recovered on entering the site. ground. front of Little House in response to the sixth floor ofthe library. Suspicious Person a Waterloo Taxi driver who had 1328 Hrs Fri. Sept 30/94 Trespassing/Mischief Theft Under $1000 dropped off six males. They exited MVA Officers responded to St. Michael's 0250 Hrs Sat Oct. 01/94 2000 Hrs Sat Oct. 01/94 the cab and ran off without paying 1655 Hrs Tue Sept 27/94 Church parking lot after receiving a Person(s) unknown were chased A WLU student reported that his the fare. The only description that A WLU staff member reported strik- report of a male person attempting from the Seagram Stadium field soccer team jacket had been stolen could be provided was that they ing a sign post at the Regina St. to dislodge a parking sign and that after attempting to apply paint to some time Thursday night while he were wearing jeans. parking lot while she was backing he was looking into numerous the new artificial turf. The two sus- was in the Turret. No suspects. out of her space. Damage was vehicles. The male was found and pects managed to elude officers Mischief minor. turned out to be a 12 year old when they were lost in the area of Cause Disturbance 0225 Hrs Sun Oct. 02/94 school boy who was experiencing the U of W married students apart- 2330 Hrs Sat Oct. 01/94 A male who had attempted to assist Stray Dog some emotional distress. He was ment complex. Due to the excel- Officers responded to Wilfs as a the cab driver during the previous 1015 HrsThurs. Sept 29/94 left with his teachers. No further lent work of the custcxlial staff the result of a problem with two males occurrence reported that another A WLU staff member reported a action was required. paint that had been applied was who were upset about being evict- individual had jumped across the stray dog wandering around the successfully cleaned up. ed from the premises. A brief scuf- hood of his vehicle and ran off. third floor of the Central Teaching Possession of Narcotics fle took place. Those involved This person was found at Stanley Building. The dog had no tag and 2130 Hrs Fri. Sept 30/94 Mischief were sent on their way. Burgers and apologized. Since was subsequently turned over to Officers attended at the Students' 0455 Hrs Sat Oct. 01/94 there was no damage to his car the the Humane Society. Union Quad responding to a report The duty officer responded to a call Noise Complaint victim declined further action. of three males suspected of smok- from the Head Resident of Conrad 0030 Hrs Sun Oct. 02/94 Fail To Remain MVA ing marijuana. The three were Hall who reported that a male indi- A complaint was received from resi- Trespassing 2300 Hrs Thurs. Sept 29/94 identified and a minute amount of vidual has smashed the glass in the dents in Leopold Residence regard- 0315 Hrs Sun Oct. 02/94 Student Security reported observing marijuana was seized. Trespass door leading out to the Conrad ing some individuals making a lot Student Security reported observing a vehicle back into another vehicle notices were issued to the individu- Quad. The suspect had lieen trans- of noise in the parking lot. An offi- three males in the stadium under in lot 7 and then drive away. The als and they were escorted off cam- ported to KW Hospital for cuts he cer attended and dispersed the the stands. The fled over the fence. driver of the suspect vehicle is pus. had received as a result of the inci- group. A search was made of the immedi- l>elieved to have lieen intoxicated. dent. He advised that he had ate area with negative results. The suspect vehicle was later legat- Indecent Act punched the glass out of anger aris- Trespassing

ed at IJ of Wand the driver has 0140 Hrs Sat Oct. 01/94 ing out of a domestic dispute he 0105 Hrs Sun Oct. 02/94 During theperiod Sept 26 - Oct. 02, subsequently been charged with A non-WLU affiliated male was had with his girlfriend. The suspect A WLU student was apprehended three warnings were issued and one failure to remain at the scene of an observed in a dainken stupor in lot was given until the next week to on the Seagram field in a highly charge laidfor Liqour Licence Act accident. 3. On seeing the Security vehicle he make restitution or charges would intoxicated state. He was warned violations.

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4 1 October 5, 1994 • The Cord • News OCUA's coming! Governmentadvisors to hear WLUopinion on discussionpaper

STEVE DOAK future. Copp is the chair of the institutions. mechanism, but only by individ- Cord News Commentary History department and Laurier Most researchers throughout ual institutions themselves. The They are running out of money, representative to the Council of the province oppose this separa- advantage to the government of they are running out of time, Ontario Universities, an organiza- tion of teaching and research, the contract model is that it they are ninning out of credibili- tion of university administrations claiming that the two are depen- would enable the government to ty, and they are getting desper- across the province. dant upon each other to main- force universities to make ate. They are your government At the same time, the Council tain contemporary standards. changes at the threat of with- in action. has estimated that demand for The COU is in the process of drawing funding. One of the latest develop- university enrollment will gathering testimonials from pro- The changes the the govern- ments in the ongoing stmggle of increase by between seven and fessors who have balanced ment wants universities to make universities to get money from nineteen percent by the end of teaching and research to the according to the discussion On-Campus Pub the provincial government is the the decade. There is a great con- mutual lienefit of both functions. paper, include, of course, acces- OCUA Funding Review. sibility - such that universities The Ontario Council on will enroll more students than -- University Affairs (OCUA) advis- they are currently funded for. p- --] es the government on issues Another change is to organize related to university funding enrollment around the perceived throughout the province. It is needs of the labour sector. In comprised of members of the other words, the government | Pre-Turr«t | community, some of whom are would predict what type of grad- from the education sector. uates will be needed in the List November, Dave Cooke, future, and would force universi- {Chicken the Minister of Education and ties to base their enrollment poli- Choker! Training, asked the OCUA to cies upon these predictions. I I perform a review of the funding Unfortunately, the government system for universities. He asked has never been good at predict- I I future labour needs. the Council to focus on issues ing | with this coupon | such as the balance between This challenges not only the teaching and research and the traditional idea of the value of increasing demand for university university autonomy, but also the ! Thursday Night! services in the light of the cur- notion of what a university edu- rent economic siutuation of the cation should give to students. province. Another University education in the past ! ! the has been designed to give stu- 1/2 In few months, the Price* past Council has released a plethora solution proposed by the dents the theoretical background I for the Juiciest Order of I of background and technical cern Council is an adjust- and analytical skills that will papers. These have led up to throughout ment in the funding mechanism enable them to be flexible in the I Large Wings I "Sustaining Quality in Changing tlic government for Ontario universities. The professional world. The Council I Good Only 5-9 pm Times: Funding Ontario and the universities that without model favoured by the discus- actually idenifies such flexibility Universities," a discussion paper substantial changes, the system sion paper is a purchase of ser- as a valuable. Valid until Sept 29/94 released in August. The Council will not he able to meet these vice model, in which the govern- Beyond this, the discussion . Dine-in Only with more extensive is currently in the process of demands without a dramatic ment will form contracts paper calls for I I conducting a series of public drop in quality. The discussion individual institutions for the pro- linkages between post-secondary drink purchase necessary on the vision of specified levels of ser- institutions. Most universities hearings across the province. paper relies presumption by patrons ■ They will be at Laurier on that cuts can be made without vice. Although this will not have been working towards the October 12. sacrificing quality. Meanwhile, increase the amount of funding development of such links, par- i — The discussion paper as a most universities are already fac- in the system (in fact, there will ticularly since the publication of whole is a threat to the stable ing such problems as increased probably be more money the report of the government's Morty Says..... operations of universities in this class sizes and budget cuts to absorbed by the administrative Task Force on Advanced province. If taken seriously by libraries. costs for such a mechanism), the Training last year. The OCUA the Minister's office, it could One of the solutions the Council indicates that it will discussion paper neglects the Po lunch and 'Let's pose a serious threat to universi- Council has proposed to deal remove deterrents to the govern- progress that has been made ty autonomy and academic free- with this problem is to limit the ment's ability to implement "pub- the time that is necessary to dom. amount of funding for research lic policy objectives." develop such networks. Weekday Lunch Specials One good thing about the and community service, and The public policy objectives Over all, the discussion paper discussion paper is that it therefore to concentrate govern- specified by the discussion paper degrades the role of universities addresses a few of the issues that ment funds more in the teaching include greater accessibility, in Ontario. Fortunately for uni- $3.95 are important to universities. function of universities. This planned enrollment growth, and versities, the funding review will Unfortunately, most of the infor- could include making some uni- balance among the functions. only lead to recommendations mation discussed is not new, but versities (probably smaller ones These objectives can be which the Minister can act upon rather has been passed from like Laurier) into teaching-only implemented in the current Continued page 6 Sunday Night government report to government report without being acted 1/2 pound burger & fries upon. Likewise, this report will probably be forgotten soon The Bachelor of Education is a one-year The Master of Education (MEd) program without having made professional program that also meets the focuses on instructional leadership in the much of an impact requirements for the Ontario Teacher's classroom and in an administrative Certificate. $1.99 on the university sys- setting. tem. Candidates may apply to enrol in one of full-time, is with any beverage purchase The discussion The one-year program offered three division. These are Primary/Junior is an indication on-campus at Nipissing University in paper (Junior Grade of the attitudes of Kindergarten to 6), Junior/ North Bay. The part-time program is Intermediate (Grades 4 to 10),and some of the people offered on-campus on Saturday mornings, TTT that make the deci- Intermediate/Senior (Grades 7to OAC.) an d may be completed over a three-year Corner of sions about the uni- There are 10 practice teaching weeks with period. |y versity system as a

the . placement opportunities throughout , \ '\ whole. nex fatake for fuU time and parWime King and province. is At last week's students September 1995. Application meeting of the Applications must reach the Ontario forms and all required documentation University University Senate, Universities' Application Centre in must be submitted by January 3,1995 for Terry Copp said that Guelph by December 9,1994. admission consideration. this discussion paper ° indicates a consensus Acr ss amongst the OCUA Nipissing university and the federal and |j| from the £Bl r provincial govern- 100 CollegeDrive, Box 5002, North Bay, Ontario PIBBL7 ment that funding Athletic levels to universities Application and details these programs can be obtained the \J will not be increasing forms of from the Registrar. Please call 1-800-461-1673 or (705) 474-3461, ext. 4292. Complex in the foreseeable Office of

• The Cord • News • October 5 5 KW hosts Career Fair Ontario's largest studentjobfest rolls through Bingeman's ANDREW HOPPER at WLU stated, "Over twenty-five ine checking your email from a lap- said, "Compared to the Western "People often stero-type the food' Cord News hundred students attended the top computer while riding in a career fair last week, here there are industry and we find this is a great An emmy award winning software event where most of them gave a moving vehicle. On Monday, RIM four times the number of employers way to try to promote a different company was one of the 91 good response." was also presented the Award of and ten times the number of stu- image." employers that converged in Research In Motion was one Merit by the City of Waterloo for dents." Sunlife reps also said, "We A wide variety of employers Bingeman Park's Marshall Hall this software company that was happy their entreprenurial accomplish- did a U of T career fair and people were at the career fair ranging from past Tuesday. to be there. ments. came dressed in t-shirts and blue agriculture to food industries, insur- These companies Kirs t ie Employer's from Union Gas jeans with no prepared resumes; ance to computer companies and were there to 91 employers Th o m p son, said, "The students are more moti- there is a much better response banking to accounting institutions. take part in Executive vated at this Career Fair then at oth- here. Obviously, someone has A Job Fair is going to be held Ontario's largest converged at Marketing ers we have attended from other done a lot of work to prepare this next Spring in February so if you Career fair where Assistant for Universities. Career Fair." missed this event, don't miss out on some came from Bingeman Park RIM stated, Representatives from Sunlife Taco Bell employer's said, another golden opportunity. as far as "The business Washing to n , Tuesday has taken off administration are planning to the long-tenn effects of the OCUA Quebec and so much that OCAU funding review make only one presentation to the funding review. So far, the review British Columbia. A lot of the we have a semi-enviable position of Continued from page 5 OCUA's open hearing on behalf of has served to criticize the legitimacy employer's that attended are also not being able to hire fast enough." all members of the Laurier commu- of the tradition of university autono- going to be recruiting on campus RIM is the company which has won or ignore. Meanwhile, changes in nity. Initial drafts of this presenta- my. It has also legitimized the for the next two months. an Emmy from Hollywood for its the Established Programs Financing tion indicate that the administration decreasing financial support shown The event was organized by product called a Dicisync Film (EPF) arrangements, by which the will be focussing on how Laurier by the government for universities. four schools; University of Barcode Reader. RIM is also a federal government supports edu- measures well against the implied It makes it obvious that universities Waterloo, Guelph, Conestoga world leader in "product and sound cation, will probably have more standards of the Council. As well, are facing more than just a funding College and our own WLU. solutions" to the emerging wireless impressive results upon the univer- the report will attack the contract crisis- they are also facing an identi- Jan Basso, director of Co-opera- computing industry and specifically sity system. mcxlel for funding. ty crisis concerning their role in tive education and career services for the Mobitex Technology (imag- Currently, members of the It is impossible to predict what Ontario society. Hey WLU, What is This?

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• • 6 • October 5, 1994 The Cord News Foot Patrol goes up a size

ANNE FERGUSON in working for the program." knew, and often called the office tion he said: "I would gain more Peter Jorg, Acting Chief of Security, Cord News He said that the greater number asking for specific patrollers. Given respect for certain decision-makers views Foot Patrol as an extension of There are new faces at Laurier's of volunteers means more people . the small number of shifts worked* iatke Student's Union if they would security since it acts as a deterrent Foot Patrol office. Last winter the know someone involud Willi Foot by each person, this is not likelplP Wiiiuiut and walk around with the for crime, and is a preventative pro- decision was made to increase the Patrol, and are more likely to use happen any more., Worse, most patrolli'ts for six and a half hours gram. number of volunteers hired to walk the service. He hopes more faculty patrollers don't know half their col- on a cold January night You can't The Foot Patrol presence adds the Foot Patrol beat. Increasing and staff will call, and has met with leagues and feel disappointed they make decisions about something to the feeling that Laurier's campus from 50 to 84 patrollers, the pro- various committees in. attempts to are unable to meet them. you haven't experienced." M indeed a safe one; co-ordination gram is intended to provide more encourage university employee use. In an attempt to remedy this, the McCormick echoed this feeling Between Security and Foot Patrol

enthusiastic service from more well- ... Despite its the using Foot Paififsi saying that after/his stint as a &hSt«es this. The increased number rested people. Ifllpyfig of Foot Patrol has meant Volunteer Appreciation Fund to pay patroller tbu* summer he has much of volunteers will come in handy In the past two years Foot Patrol a toss in familiarity for both users for social events which he hopes more respect for the volunteers during the winter months when has grown from mere concept to and volunteers. Many people using will bring the volunteers closer who work throughout the winter. enthusiasm wanes and illness takes part of daily life on campus. Each the program looked forward to together. Both McKenzie and McConnick over. Foot Patrol's phone number is term sees an increase in walks and being walked by someone they Commenting about this frustra- are very happy with the program. 886-9662. a more diverse clientele. To meet the demand, Foot Patrol co-ordina- tor Darryl McKenzie and his assis- tant co-ordinators suggested an increase in hiring of volunteers for City consideringposterproblems this year. In the past, patrollers walked one night (sometimes even ANDREW HOPPER back on taxpayer's money." two or three nights) each week to Cord News Taylor does not know what he would do to correct ensure full staffing of the program. Waterloo city council is trying to put a stop to the the problem. "It should be discussed at the open This often left them very tired, and poster campaigning of bars and night clubs around the house." The council has discussed creating a business behind in their school work. area. They believe that it is an eyesore to the commu- to regulate the posters. This year, however, patrollers nity and something needs to be done to regulate the Chris Taliotis, a Phil's employee explained, "For us have committed themselves to growing form of advertising. it is a great form of advertising. It's cheap for small walking once every other week and Morty Taylor, who is ninning for re-election in the bars and a lot of bands can not afford to spend any attending short bi-weekly meetings. municipal election on November 14, stated, "To main- money for publicity." Taliotis believes that something It is much easier for them to co- tain the status quo, the public and council need to needs to be done to regulate the posters. ordinate shifts with academic negotiate the length of time, how to fasten, and how However, Taliotis strongly stated that Phil's always assignments and other obligations, many posters an event can display." makes sure that they take down their posters right after and to switch nights with other An open house on October 5 between council and the event and often clean up posters from other patrollers. In exchange they are the community will take place to discuss public inter- sources. "If everyone followed our procedures, there expected to provide more active est, concerns, and suggestions. Currently, Taylor would not be a problem," she said. Taliotis went on to and enthusiastic service than in the explained, "It makes a mess of the city because there is say that the people who would be hurt most by regu- past. This includes outdoor patrols no control." lation would l)e the local bands which the community of potentially dangerous areas on The Supreme Court of Canada had made a ailing should support. campus, and greater interaction HEASLEY that denying this type of publicity is a violation of free- A concerned patron, Dave mentioned, "People with students milling about. Like the buffalo, the once dom of speech. The Court did allow for the local want to see Canadian talent, but how do you get the McKenzie claimed that this year's is MARK certain a very low cost?" mighty herds of posters municipal governments to uphold bylaws to information out to the people at "statistically the best group [they've] are endangered. regulate the posters. Taylor also explained, "There is a A staff report by City council will be presented on ever had(...) There's a lot of interest PICTURE: cost involved to clean up the posters which reflects October 24 and a decision will then be made. |j &ra

|1 for all 1995 Undergrads 1 & & | GRAD PHOTOS will be taken in Room P2005/2013 | i IPEITBIB.S IB HJ ML©HP© I H ra Ej JOSTEN'S will be on campus October 17-30, 1994 [3 | SIGN UP TODAY AT THE CENTRE SPOT | I Photography By g /j- ' j- 9v(arcotte El (J/) //// //) / CCaude ra -JJon I Uwlf 4JOSTENS IU "•'CAJVADA LTD. ==j1

• • The Cord News October 5 7 PRISM goes cutting edge SBE computer council hocks thefamilyjewelsto make Bill Gatesrich through new computer labfor students

ANDREW HOPPER Jason Oyston stated, "It [the new Dave Ronson, Chair of PR.I.S.M. members yet or have taken their business or general economics. Cord News P.R.I.S.M. lab) is going to add a lot stated, "The PR.I.S.M. executive just money out, can still pay their fifty P.R.I.S.M. will offer tutorials from Wednesday Septeml>er 28 began a of value to the SBE. The biggest passed a motion last night, dollars to the University Business Monday to Thursday on specific new era in computer technology for thing about the new P.R.I.S.M. lab (Monday October 3) to accept all Office during its operational hours. software programs. Sign-up sheets the students of Business and are the intangible benefits when a registered students in the School of Students can join ifregistered in are located in the P.R.I.S.M. lab on Economics. P.R.I.S.M. (Providing Laurier business student applies for Business and Economics." So now the SBE under" honours bus/econ, the second floor of the Peters Resources for Information Systems a job. You can't see it but it does students who are not P.R.I.S.M. administration options, diplomas in Building. Management), held a full day open give us an advantage over other house to show off its newest com- schools." puter lab. "You might think that Ist or 2nd David Jeffrey, Appointment year students will not need the Director for P.R.I.S.M. mentioned, facilities at all," Oyston continued. 's Up Around Campus "The capital purchase was about "If you take your funds out, there $200,000 which included twelve will not be a P.R.I.S.M. when you A Calendar Events pentium 90 Mtl and eleven 486 DX graduate." of 2/66'5." Roughly eighty percent of Economic Faculty Professor Dr. the money was spent on hardware, Frank Millerd was looking at the Wednesday, October sth Curling and Co-ed Shinney. • Resume/ ACCIS Form Writing the other twenty on renovations. high tech machines and stated, • Open house at the Community Details in the 1994/95 Seminar 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. 4-201. This is by far the largest expendi- "There might be difficulty in -getting Health Department, For info call Recreation Program Manual Wednesday, October 12th ture PRISM has ever made. In addi- used to the new style of keyl:>oards 883-2256. available in the AC. • Teacher Education Session: tion to the new lab, Prism has 56 for people who are not great typ- • Resume/ACCIS Form Writing Saturday, October Bth Western, Lakehead, Windsor. IBM think pads and approximately ists. Although they [the keyboards] Seminar. 10 to 11 a.m. PlOO3. • Fuck all in K/W. It's 12:30 to 2:30 p.m. in the Turret. 15 computers which were updated are l:>etter to help people with their Thursday, October 6th Thanksgiving, go home! • Atari user group KWEST general late last year. wrists." • Football home game vs. Sunday, October 9th meeting. 7:00 p.m. At Uof W, All software running on the "The chairs are very comfortable McMasler. Seagram Stadium. • Fuck all continues in K/W. room MC2009. Phone 725-2068 new computers are the most recent and the room is spacious," said • 20th Century Music Festival. 8 Monday, October 10th for info.

• releases. "Software includes Trevor Newell, a second year busi- p.m. Recital Hall. • Thanksgiving Day -No classes! OCUA hearing on university Banyan with WordPerfect, Lotus, ness student. However he added, • A panel presentation on "Social • Oktoberfest Parade. funding restructuring. 3 p.m. dßaselll, Draw Perfect, Windows "The P.R.I.S.M. executive needs to Services to Families in the Tuesday, October Ifth PMC. with Word, Excel, Corel Draw, and encourage frosh to persuade them 19905" 8:00 p.m. P1025. • Entry deadline for Horseback • "Challenge for Change: Power Point," said Jeffrey. not to opt-out and get their fifty • Open house continues at the Riding. Details in the 1994/95. Encountering Creation" confer- "It is absolutely essential for a dollars back from the student fund- Community Health Department. Recreation Program Manual ence begins. For info and regis- business or economics graduate to eel organization." He feels that the • Interview Skills Seminar 10 to 11 available in the AC. tration call 884-0710 ext. 3907.

• have the necessary computer skills opt-out time should be longer for a.m. PlOO5. • Music at Noon. Maureen Career Focus Seminar. 2:30 to to compete in the job market," first year students so they can get a Friday, October 7th Forrester Recital Hall. Free 3:30P2015. Jeffrey continued. clear picture of the organization • Entry deadline for Co-ed admission. Executive Assistant for P.R.I.S.M. before they make their decision.

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• • News 8 October 5, 1994 The Cord The well runs dry Minister confirms report ofno morefederalfunding

BRUCE ROLSTON his ministry's $2 billion-plus cash Last week, The Varsity and The of the social policy reform paper. In than $6 billion per year. University Canadian Press subsidy to post-secondary institu- Toronto Sun both reported that his speech to symposium partici- Spokespeople at Ontario's TORONTO — Ottawa will he cutting tions -around $2,000 Axworthy confirmed pants,' j Ministry Training i of Education and back its support of Canada's-col- per full time university much of what was report- have said the most likely means of leges and universities, Human student — must he ed. recouping the proposed cuts in fed- Resources Axworthy's ministry Development minister replaced. He said his Axworthy said the federal eral spending would be even Lloyd Axworthy said last week." ministry was looking at government would not be greater tuition hikes, on top of the The who was a cut minister, speaking revamping student aid outlined of getting out of supporting 10 per cent hike already announced at a student aid symposium in to make up the differ- colleges and universities for next year. Toronto, said the cuts will come as ence. up to $2.3 billion entirely, but would base its Axworthy also made reference part of his social policy reform pro "The question now entire support on a fixed in his speech, given at a downtown posals, expected in the next two is, 'Is there a way of j percentage of taxation dol- Toronto hotel, to replacing the cur- weeks. bringing the costs down so that the leaked documents from Axworthy's lars, or "tax points." Currently, those rent federal student aid program Axworthy declined to go into money still gets to the people who ministry outlined a cut of up to the tax points further subsidize provin- with a new, income-contingent sys- specifics on his proposals, hut said need it?'" fill! $2.3 billion cash subsidy as part cial education ministries by more tem. The government gives everyone access to a student loan, regardless of need. It then gets the money back through taxes. Some gradu- ates with low incomes don't have to pay anything at all, but most have to pay the full loan back. All three provincial parties in Ontario support reforming the stu- dent aid system to make it income- Towards - ; Soar IW§Mm MM fei| contingent. > Jf| As week, a Si Tft ipm r. mi inpi filf reported last leaked i §ii®i i lUu HI lil DC document indicates the federal gov- int ruiUKt ernment is planning to greatly increase its student aid program to Your first career move is often the most important. offset the cuts in payments to the *. ; Choose well, and the sky is the limit. Here's what | | -1 provincial education ministries. |jJj "Enhanced student assistance recent CAs have to say about coming on board would help provinces address Doane Raymond. impact of savings from reductions in federal cash transfers," it said. Challenging Work Assignments Axworthy confirmed this at the learning." meeting. While he did not fully "I get a lot of responsibility here. I'm always | j|{j|| commit the government to income- 112 Patty Kisielis, CA - University of Waterloo graduate w v1 *7 V' contingency, he did seem to think it is a gcxxl idea to try. Comprehensive UFE Support "We're lcx)king towards doing a "The firm's UFE prep course is phenomenal!" pilot project. I think it is how we absolutely will answer the question as to " an Jean Marc Delaney, CA- St. Francis Xavier University graduate , whether income-contingent Any repayment system should be part of An Ideal Take-off For the Ux)llx)x we have." Business Career Wmfß s "Whatever I ultimately decide to do, Doane Raymond • *>' J is a great start." |§j§ jl jgl j| jjjj J

David Somerville, CA- McMaster University graduate , jj|||J Down-To-Earth People IfS jj "The people are dedicated to their work, but they also 4-205 Room Attend Welcome 5.30 Must Are SsNefoMJisSHf 12, October Members Staff Volunteers Wednesday, All All The•WPefTPVPflfffibN*Cord • News • October 112 9 INTERNATIONAL Is it time for a break?

MATT JACKSON important question that a person can ask ble opinion, the university environment tends lias actually taken the footsteps. If not imme- Cord International oneself is this: "What do I really want out of to tell people a lot of things, rather than let- diately, give it some time. You've got nothing It's just over three weeks into classes and the life?". Well, one might ask, how might a per- ting them think freely. This is an unfortunate to lose, but everything to gain. Where one homework is really starting to pile up. son find out what they want out of life? by-product of a large institution such as a uni- decides to go will depend on their own inter- Essays, assignments and of course midterms Simple. It starts with you, the individual. Get versity, and can't really be helped in a lot of ests and goals, but try and make it a location are only two to three weeks away. The to know yourself intimately first, and from ways. The only logical course of action is a that promotes growth both physically and already heavy workload only promises to get there ideas will present themselves much temporary escape, such as taking a year off. mentally. Somewhere that has always heavier. It probably wouldn't be so bad, but more clearly. Of By taking a year inspired you. that procrastination bug that bites so many course this is more off one is effec- For some reason the Canadian Rockies helpless victims around this time has found easily said than tively walking have always inspired me (I wonder why?). one of your jugulars to tap its venomous done, and I don't clown a path that Tlius the sixteen months that I had off I spent fangs into. If the stress hasn't surfaced yet, profess to be an they have never in Lake Louise, Alberta. Here I participated in don't worry, it will. Sometimes it's hard to expert, but it does walked down downhill skiing, heliskiing, backpacking, believe that we pay seven to eight thousand require some before. A prover- mountain-biking, whitewater rafting, rock- dollars a year for this lifestyle. effort on the part bial breath of climbing, ice-climbing, mountaineering, sky- Does this scenario sound familiar to you? of the individual. fresh air. For diving, photography, watercolour painting Everyone at university goes through this to Taking a year off most people, and the writing of my first book. (Whew!) some extent, all on the way to earning their from school pro- their lives have Not to mention a few others. The experience degree. For some this is merely a natural vides a solid basis revolved around was euphoric to say the least, and it sent my stepping stone on their way into a prosper- for this learning schooling since spirits soaring. More than anything, it felt like ous career. For others who haven't quite dis- process to take kindergarten. I was accomplishing things again. In this covered their niche in life, school can be a place. As one gets Now one is faced time off I've effectively discovered my per- proverbial nightmare. It was for me. I suf- to know them- with sixteen sonnal comfort zone and learned to push this fered dreadfully from this syndrome during selves lietter, many months off, all to comfort zone at times. I've learned to focus my second year in Laurier's BBA program, opportunities that oneself. What on what needed to be done. Focus is so and to a smaller extent my first. It's terrible! better fit each per- one does with important. I've learned to rely on myself and One doesn't really know what they want son's personality that time off is of to dig deep at times when there didn't seem from life; everything seems vague, and emo- tend to become course up to the to be much left. Most importantly, I've tionally one feels trapped. Trapped by what? self-evident. individual. My learned to have that lust for life again. When School? Parents? Society? Yourself? A person Of course one recommendation one is continually thrust into growing situa- in this situation probably hasn't figured it out. might ask, is that is to go some- tions like these, one is lxxind to discover a They chalk it up to a necessary process not what school is where new, the lot about themselves, warts and all. Their (school) one must pass through to get to the for? To grow ? To further away from deepest, most private joys and fears are good stuff (career). The initiation so to learn? To get to know oneself? Now don't one's "old life" the tetter. Don't get stuck in brought to the forefront. Self-discovery is speak. Believe it or not, this isn't necessarily get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful for uni- some menial job in your hometown. This is imminent. so. versities and the further education that they likely to do even less for one creatively Having said these things, everyone must Even though one might be commanding a provide. In fact, this greater education is speaking than going to school. In time it will decide what is best for them. My hope is that healthy salary in the workforce, thirty or forty practically mandatory in this day and age. only serve to frustrate one and convince one everyone will find their true niche in life years is a long time to be doing something However, most of the things that I've learned that taking a year off was a waste of time. without too much trouble. Just please don't that "doesn't really interest you". The most at WI,U are about other people. In my hum- Meanwhile one hasn't learned squat about let fear and doubt be the deciding factors themselves or the real world. If one is stopping you from your impending journey. lucky, they'll be chased back to school the Fear is a funny thing, it's only a little four let- following year by peers, parents and their ter word, but if one runs from it fear only gets own conscience for having accomplished bigger. If one advances towards fear howev- nothing. To go somewhere new will be er, it shrinks. Just remember: the only person scary at first, but the fear will dissipate and standing between you and your dreams is the excitement will build once a person you!

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10■ October 5, 1994 • The Cord • International Another country we've been hearing a lot about lately is India. In fact, travelers going to and from India are already being given special attention as soon as they Plague at the airport. Grab your passport, surgical mask and rubber gloves and wreaks arrive you're off! havoc once again LILIAN SCHAER Surat, located about 260 km north of Bombay, CORD OPINION although cases of bubonic plague have also been Bam: &ll?l®U£ "History will repeat itself." reported. With 1 500 suspected victims in quar- That is a common enough phrase, and sadly, antine, the official death toll stands at 48, it is tme more often than not. One such example although unconfinned reports put the number at is that of the plague, whose very name evokes over 300. If lllMft images of despair, misery, and death. 'This horrif- The reappearance of the plague has caused ic incident comes in a variety of strains, the most over 400 000 panic-stricken people to flood into common being the pnuemonic and bubonic Bombay in a frantic effort to escape the evil plagues. clutches of the disease. It was the latter form of the plague which As a result, the city of 13 million is believed to Location: South Asia wreaked havoc on Europe and Asia during the be highly vulnerable, since half its population Area: 3 287 590 square kilometres 14th century. Spread by rats living in the refuse lives in slum conditions. Rats are the main carriers Population: 882 600 000 which littered the narrow streets in crowded of the plague, and Bombay's slums are crawling Language(s): Hindi, English medieval cities, the disease also known as Black with rodents. Measures are being taken, howev- Currency: Rupee Death claimed millions of victims. For example, er, to prevent the spread of the disease, which Main Airports: Delhi, Bombay in Europe alone, it is estimated that 25 000 000 include disinfection campaigns, quarantining of Major Cities: Bangalore, Bombay, Calcutta, Delhi, Kashmir, Madras people died. victims, and the killing of hundreds of rats with Food: I iojx- you like curry and rice! A different strain of the disease, the pneumon- DDT and BHC insecticides. In another Indian ic plague, recently broke out in the Indian city of city, New Delhi, schools and theatres have been shut down, and citizens have been warned to cover their faces in crowd situations. Fear of the plague is not only prevalent in India, though. Recently, for example, Air Canada ground crews at Toronto's Pearson International 1 ARE YOU Airport refused to service an Air India flight, which originat- ed in Bombay, for fear of becoming exposed to the dis- ease. It was reported that two HAVING rats were seen scurrying out of 1 the airplane, and workers claimed that flights from India are often carrying unwanted insects and rodents. Last weekend, Air Canada issued I SEX IN surgical masks to all its employees working interna- tional flights as a safety mea- sure, on the recommendation of Health Canada. 1 THE DARK? One of the most remarkable features of the plague is its habit of being dormant for Some say ignorance is bliss. centuries and then resurfacing. It is interesting to note that the three greatest plague pan- When it comes to sex, ignorance is far demics in history are separated ■■ from bliss. It's just plain dangerous. by over 800 years. Symptoms of the pneumonic plague include cough and If you want to do the smart thing, fever, and the disease is char- get out of the dark. acterized by its sudden onset, chills, chest pains and blood Find out how HIV/AIDS and other spitting. Although highly con- tagious, the disease can be suc- STDs are transmitted. cessfully treated with tetracy- cline, an inexpensive antibiotic, Use condoms. Not occasionally, if detected early. RH not usually, but always.

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• • The Cord International October 5, 1994 11 OPINION

Freedom. A word that has been used many times by many people in many situa- tions. A concept that may be misunder- stood and misinterpreted by most. A rally- ing cry often used by those who do not the Cord really know what they might lie saying. A WilfridLaurier University Student Publication First of all, freedom cannot lie consid- 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 ered a proper noun except in its absolute

(519) 884-2990- Fax: (519) 884-5596 sense. It is not a thing - one can enjoy Advertising: (519) 884-5092 freedom "to" something or freedom "from" something else, but it cannot properly lie Editor-in-Chief Ingrid Nielsen said that one has "freedom" unless it is News Editor Mark Heasley absolute. Associate News Editor AmandaDowling When most people refer to freedom, Entertainment Editor Charles Fairley they refer to it in its improper sense. What Assistant Entertainment Editor Shawn Calkin they desire is freedom "from" racial oppres- Sports Editor Scott Stinson sion or freedom "to" love someone of the Assistant Sports Editor Pete Robinson same sex, as examples. While these free- Feature Editor Greg Sloan doms are important, they are not tnie free- Production Manager PaulMcLean dom. Absolute freedom entails more than Production Assistants JeremyKen- this: there is much to be free from in our Andrew White scx'iety. Copy Editor Lihhi Hood People are restricted in ways that we do not even realize. From birth, we are forced into a framework handed down to us by STUDENT PUBLICATIONS STAFF our families, religions, governments, media, peers, and social structures which gives us only a limited latitude within which we can define ourselves as individuals. The tenets of this framework aie so ingrained that most do not even Advertising Manager Tim Silk realize the extent of their limitations or often that these limitations even exist. Moral, social, and ideological impera- Ad Production Manager Mara Baldassarre tives are for the most part unquestioned by members of modem society. Ad Production Assistants JaneBorn The first step in realizing what tnie freedom would mean and in putting other freedoms in perspective is to open Kelly Ken- your eyes. Think alxiut what is going on in your life and how big of a role you actually play in it. Begin to question David Kerth the way you think, why things are the way they are, whether the things you hold as important are indeed tnily impor- Photo Manager Keli Watson tant, and how things around you really work. Photo Technician Phill Kinzinger This may well a frightening exercise. It is alanning to realize just how little of our lives are actually in our own Art Director Anton Volcansek control. Unless we are pushed otherwise, we live in the dark. The first move in illuminating this darkness is thus to Graphic Arts Technician Kim Hurley realize that this framework exists, as hard as this may be, and that what we may call "freedom" may in actuality be veiy far from it. BOARD OF DIRECTORS Once we become comfortable with this realization and its ramifications, we are better equipped to do two things. One is to define ourselves as an individual, and the second is to put things within our society in some sort of perspec- President HeatherMundell tive. Directors Susan Barry First, once our eyes are opened to the limitations that have been imposed on us our whole lives, we can begin the DavidJanzen process of accepting and rejecting some of those limitations. It is only then that we can begin taking more of a con- Danvn Mahaffy trolling hand in what kind of a person we are. It is obviously a nearly impossible task to be a tnily self-defined indi- John McKenzie vidual and have true freedom without up and moving to the top of an isolated mountain by yourself, but you can at Tina Romano least take a little more latitude in the elements that you can choose from in defining yourself. Seati Wikle The second thing is to put things in our society into some kind of perspective, starting with ourselves. There are Treasurer Sara Rossignoli few things about the structure of our society that we can easily change, but we can at least realize and analyze our own relationship with the elements of that structure. As well, the challenging of our own beliefs and imperatives will The G>i\l will fK»t print anything that is racist, sexist, or homophobic in nature. ;is deemed I"))' thestall as a voting hody. naturally cause us to re-examine the things around us and the way we feel about them. The G>rxl will not print anything in violation of its Gxle of Kthics. outlined in The G>rd Guistitution. Gmxl sul>scription rales aiv #IS.(K) jxir termlor addasses within (Canada. and i Itt.(X) foroutside the country. The G)ixl is printed lis' GinWeb What am I trying to tell you with all of this? I'm not sine. Maybe just that next time you are digging out your Printing. The G>rx is a member of Canadian iniversitv Press. All commentary is strictly the opinion of thewriter and does I I markers and Bristol board to go rally for your so-called freedom, it might take you further to spend some time not necessarily reflect those* of the G>al stall, theeditorial boaal. orWl.li PuNotions. (»pyright © 199-1 lij* VC'I.IJ Student magic Publications. 75 I.niversity Avenue West. Waterloo. Ontario N21.3C5 with your self and an open mind in achieving a goal that is more personally important to every human being, whether they know it or not, than saving Temagami or taking back the night. Make sure that you save your self Contributors: John Huculiak, Steve Doak, Andrew Hopper, Anne Furguson, Tina Royer, Scott Cullen, Mark Elliott, Brad McQueen, Marion lxsfore you try to save anything else. Hensel, Rob Brennan, Adrian Osborne, Keri Semenko, Scott McKay, Phill Kinzinger, Jeremy Rakowsky, Selene MacLeod, Kevin Clay, Shawn Windsor, Editorial by Charles Fairley, Entertainment Editor Tom Hrubes, Tony Chatrand-Burke, Melanie Seal, Tanya Ventura, Shawn llx' (pinions in Ibis editorialare those tlx*author and do nof necessarily those the Cord or its WW Student Publications. Graham, Anish Makim, Trevor Strafford, Tony Hahn, Matt Jackson, Lilian exftressed of reflect of rest of'the staff', of fntblislx'r, Shaer, Michelle Wyton The Canadian Letters to the Editor mosaic MICHELLE WYTON Things were simpler then, with only two Cord Opinion cultural groups. is Dear Editor, major Today Canada hearings, announce that CSIS, and the It Makes Us Unique and Drives Us Apart more culturally diverse and the notion of It did not take much encouragement to Security and Intelligence Review Committee, The idea of a Canadian mosaic rather hyphen-Canadians and the Canadian mosaic "get angry" this week, when I picked up the have basically and fundamentally found that than the melting pot system of the United are breaking the country apart. French Cord and saw its front page headline. First the actions of CSIS, in regard to their spying States is something that Canadians identify Canadians feel today, as they have since of all, the "Take back the Night March" on on the Jewish Congress, the CI3C, the Refonn as part of our culture. . 1867, that their Septemter 22 in the Waterloo region was not Party, the Canada Post, and their funding of [t is one of the few language and about "younity" but about violence against the Heritage Front, as within their normal things that is unique to Every group religion is in dan- womyn. The spelling of this ridiculous head- realm of activities. our country and that ger of being lost line was my next shock. Reclaiming our On the first day of Hearings, Michel distinguishes us from to the influence right to safety is being mocked by the igno- Bellehumeur, MP, had the most appropriate our dominating neigh- within Canada of English rance of the individual who does not uncler- commentary. The SIRC chairman should bours to the south. Canadians while md the nature of gender neutral language. resign. He pointed out the fact that he was Unfortunately, it is this is unique. Canada's First . seedless to say, the barnyard font that was appointed by the Conservatives and therefore idea of a mosaic that is Nations feel that chosen for such a serious issue was not is a step behind the present government. But pulling this country apart. they are not well represented and want to appreciated either. Perhaps the significance I would also point out that these dealings are The union of British North America in be granted self-government. Also, there are of a title has been lost in the mayhem of the not brand new. If SIRC had properly done 1867 was done out of economic necessity many different ethnic groups who all wish press. their job, these headlines viewed everyday rather than due to a strong emotional bond to maintain their seperate language, religion, Nathalie Mandarich would be nonexistent. between the colonies. The English and and traditions within Canada. The main question is why a Parliamentary French Canadians could not live together as The fact is that every group within Dear Editor body is viewing this material, some behind one but economically they could not survive Canada is unique and that is what makes What is that strange Colour on the horizon? closed doors, when it seems the Chairman apart. This is the root of the Canadian Canada unique. Together we make up a Could it possibly be a whitewash? already has granted them a passing grade. mosaic. The French Canadians were afraid distinct society known as Canada. This is It would seem strange that Derek Lee, Perhaps I am just mistaken? Or is this all a of assimilation by the larger English popula- what Canadians should be proud of and

MP, Chairman of the Sub-Committee on cover-up? tion and therefore wanted their cultural emphasize - what we are as a whole rather National Security would a day prior to the G.Trudell rights guaranteed. than what we are as parts.

• • 12 • October 5, 1994 The Cord Opinion Barney and the UN army

SHAWN GRAHAM probably be up to the Security 3) Train the NDP for covert the negotiators just can't concen- UNAF marches in with The Dead Cord Opinion Council to finally approve the operations. They may not accom- trate on peace when there are so Kennedys. Tough Somali warlord? I Did anybody notice the front page United Nations Armed Forces plish anything, why they could many distractions. Let's put 'em up don't think so. of the Grope and Flail the other (UNAF, or some other clever screw up the entire mission! At least in Yellowknife till they come up day? Canada proposed the creation acronym). we'd get rid of Bob Rae. with a solution— the same princi- 10) Trained Beavers: Modern of a United Nations standing anny. I hope the study asks me for my ple as sequestering a jury. And if Communications at their Best. It seems that in the original agree- opinions, cause I sure got some. 4) Sell the Province of Quebec. the settlement doesn't hold, the What? In this age of the Internet? ment creating the United Nations, a A world army certainly would need next round of talks will be in Alert, Why certainly! Actual testing in the standing army was to he created as Shawn's Recommendations to the some where to practice. The only Ellesmere Island. field of combat shows that the aver- well. Of course, what with the UNAF committee: problem I see with this is that age trained Beaver can telepathical- Cold War and all, that just wasn't 1). Sell the Canadian Armed nobody is altogether certain who 7) Make Latin the language of ly communicate to other Beavers possible. Canada thinks it is time to Forces to the UN. Diplomacy again. Well, instantly! Reliably! Everytime!

' address thai oversight. Government after govern- ok sure: this has nothing Whereas traditional electronic com- Fast forward, nineteen ninety- ment in this country delight to do with a United munication systems are unreliable four. Communism is dead and in shafting the military. Train the NDPfin- Nations Army or anything. and dependent on batteries, peace keeping (or peace making) Come budget time, in the But if they did, then this portable electric generators, and can seems to be the latest fashion in name of fiscal restraint, the covert operations. It Latin course I'm taking be intercepted, who would suspect international politics. For the most government cuts programs, might get me a job when a beaver? part, however, peace keeping these closes bases, forces our would getrid of I'm done. Precedents include the use of days is dreadfully ineffective. fighting guys and gals to carrier pigeons in the early pan of Somalia was a farce, Bosnia is play with seriously out- Bob Roe. 8) Put the Governor this century, and of hummingbirds enough to make you cry, Rwanda is moded weaponry... while General in Charge. Look, in France during Napoleon's reign. even worse, and Haiti is a joke. at the same time increasing he's a really nice guy but Interestingly enough, the Province Canada has taken part in every commitments abroad. If we could owns that particular parcel of real completely and utterly useless. I'm of Manitoba once toyed with the peace keeping mission for the past sell the Armed Forces lock, stcx'k, estate. I figure there's a couple of sure he'd do a great job. He's got a idea of parachuting beavers into the four decades, and we do a damn and barrel, why that'd be just great! bucks for someone in this, maybe cool uniform and a contingent of north to repopulate the area. I fine job. Problem is, in the current We'd gain the revenue, cut our loss- $1.99. Que penses-tu, Jacques? guards already; besides, Rideau never heard how it all worked out, set-up, we get jammed with the es and the only thing we'd have to Hall would make a swell stopping but if they can parachute, then our costs while other nations cheer worry about are those pesky 5) Draft the unemployed popu- ground on the way to Yellowknife, spies won't have to smuggle their from the sidelines without con- natives...ah, just let the QPF take lace of Newfoundland (and too. beavers in. "Fudge-cake is in posi- tributing money, people, or care of them. Manitoba, and Ontario, and New tion! Drop him a Beaver! Over!" resources. Bninswick, and...). Well, we gotta 9) An army has to have a band; Canada has declared that it will 2) Hire Barney for UNAF. No, work somewhere when we gradu- I nominate The Dead Kennedys. Well, those are my ideas. I'm undertake a study of the concept of not Barney from the Simpsons , but ate... Have you ever heard their song expecting a call from the Rt. Hon. a UN standing army. Canada's that great big purple dinosaur. Pre-fab Superstar? If you have, then Andre Ouellet any day now. I'll expertise in peace-keeping and Think of it: two warring ethnic 6) Yellowknife: Geneva North. you understand. Imagine the sonic keep you posted. Veritas Omnia international involvement guaran- groups in the fonner Soviet Union Peace negotiations are always being bombardment factor when the Vincit! tees that the report will carry a lot are duking it out really hard, and all held in Geneva. of weight. Presumably, when the of a sudden this purple dinosaur Do they ever result report is completed there will be a parachutes in with an Uzi. Hell, I'd in anything con- motion (or at least debate in) the be afraid. crete? Not very General Assembly. Then it would regularly. Perhaps Free tuition

TONY HAHN secondary education. Apparently, this will Cord Opinion result in an American-style approach to edu- In the face of rising costs, sons and daugh- cation. Even still, these students are receiv- ters of WLU employees receive free tuition. ing free tuition. How long is this going to As we all know, it's getting harder and go on before people start realizing that for harder to afford education. Student unem- the good of the WLU community we should ployment is high, OSAP and grants are being all have to pay? cut, and tuition is again on the rise. So why In comparison, let's look at other profes- do children of WLU employees receive free sions and the comparative benefits they tuition? To me, this doesn't make too much receive. My mother is a nurse at an old-age sense. Everylxxiy knows that students have home. This doesn't mean that when my struggled to make ends grandparents become meet through the reces- dependent that they can sion, and that a lot of us up stay there for free. They either have had to put off Driving have to pay just like every- our education or settle for cost tuition one else. I work at a school which really was of Weston's. Do I get free CUT IN HALF! a second or third choice. Weston's products? No. So Student Plan saves you 50% on banking services. TD Some may have needed to why do these select few work for a year before going to school, or receive free tuition at our expense? some may have teen forced to live at home Administration should realize that if these because of expenses that come with going students were made to pay, we could to school away from home. Yet, at WLU, upgrade this fine institution into something some of our classmates are receiving free even finer. There would l~>e more money to tuition, thereby indirectly forcing some of us spend, making WLU a better school. to have to make some tough decisions. Funding for programs, improvements to

This drives up the cost of tuition for the campus ... there are countless things that this rest of us, making our budgets all the more money could be used for. More importantly, tight. In Friday's SUN, it was reported that tuition would be less for the rest of us. Isn't the Liberals have decided to cut $2 billion in that only fair? transfer payments to the provinces for post-

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The Cord • Opinion • Octobcr 5, IW4 • 13 The Administration cares

Tlx'following article is written by Anisb learning, and educating engaged sions. are for political and external to make Laurier an even better Makim. a member of theStudents' Union and aware citizens of a complex I encourage everyone who aspects, such as the OCUA (Ontario place and ensure that other people Board ofDirectors, and a student repre- world. receives a survey to complete it Council on University Affairs) who come here love it as much as sentative on the Administration's Long Other aspects of the mission fully, especially students. report, decreasing resources, and everyone else does. Term planning committee. statement concern faculty, staff, When the last survey was done increasing tuition fees. ANISH MAKIM research, and personal develop- in May, only two students replied. However, most of this process is Cord Opinion ment. Thus, there was very little opportu- Strategic and long term planning. Values have been determined to nity to hear what students had to What is it you may ask? It is a tell the world what exactly Laurier say alxxit the original set of values process which according to Dr. cares about and believes. The pur- and mission statement. Lorna Marsden is one of her three pose of these values is not only to To all of you who say that the Cord most important goals for this acade- distinguish us from other universi- University does not care what stu- mic year. ties but set guidelines on how the dents have to say, I would say that On September 21 & 22, I was University ought to operate. you are completely wrong. If Feedback invited as the only student enough students with _ disagree representative to a group of the way in which tilings are about twenty-five people, This long termplan l~>eing done, then the University 'Jeanette' is miss-spelt on the Art Gallery article. which included the President, administration is more than Jeanette Stuart the two Vice-Presidents, all will takeLaurier into happy to hear viable sugges- the deans, and other selected tions to correct the problem. If you are going to write an article on computers, at least leam what you people to represent other next century At the long term planning are talking about. 486 is not memory groups on campus. the meetings I attended, my con- Robert Carew This long term plan will cerns were dealt with quite ade- take Laurier into the next century Twenty goals have been devel- quately and everyone valued my Stinson, your articles suck. with standards which the Laurier oped to help the administration arguments and concerns. MauriceElliot community values, goals it will detennine where to spend its con- I hope to hear any comments strive for, and a mission statement stantly decreasing resources. These or concerns c/o of the Cord (letters Where is Mark Elliott's excellent articles? You suck Stinson! tQ guide it. goals cover all aspects of University to the editor and Feedback lxx)th). Sean Boyle The mission statement will try life from students and student ser- If there are items which you dis- to exemplify the qualities ofLaurier vices to infonnation technology and agree with, aspects of the Great computer article. 486 is memory, and I have the documents to prove that make it great and a place we organizational processes. University that you feel have lxien it. have come to love. For instance, In this issue a survey is being left out, or aspects of University life Anton Volcansek the mission statement talks about conducted on the mission state- you want to see changed, please issues such as student-centred ment, values, and goals developed write them down and send them in. What is up with our obsession over hating Western? Can we not have our

environment, diversity, life-long during the long term planning ses- Some aspects of this entire process own identity? Stop kicking the dead mustang. EX - cover of WLU' ER Charlene Cieslik

WESTERN SUCKS ! No threesomes Scott Stinson Greg, ya blew it! Thanks for the mention, but there's no such thing as the No wine, women, and songforresidence Poetry club. We're called the Writer's Club. You also forgot to mention life Poetry WLU, an annual magazine published in the spring. Thanks anyway. Selene Macleod

TREVOR STAFFORD piss me oil, either. It's also this "no open alcohol in the Cord Opinion halls" policy. Where is the justification for this? If the In the Beginning, there was WLU. administration is worried about broken glass from beer And so God created the residences. or liquor bottles, then simply ban the glass and make And 1 le said, the students use cups; it's a policy that has worked HEY TVIKKEYS! "Let there he lounges!"; and there were lounges. fairly effectively at the University of Guelph. And then He said, In short, all the administration needs to do is apply Thursday's your night to party... "Let there be alcohol, and music, and members of some flexible limits. One such limit could be no more the opposite than 20 (the Turret's closed this Friday sex!"; and there invited & was alcohol, and guests on Saturday for Thanksgiving) music, and the resi- members of the ci e n c e So go stuff yourselves! opposite sex floor; or in And then He the case of Gobble, gobble. said, a sullied "But not all carpet per- three at once, haps a okay? I mean, s t e a m we don't want to cleaning, ffififi) create a p-p-p- the cost of arty, right? You which is know what the taken out Ad ministrators of that resi- would say!" d e n c e (And God floor's glanced around slush fund. furtively, hoping that none of the mighty These sound like mles that I could comply with, Administration had heard I lim.) and yet allow me to exercise enough of my own Hey f'rosh! Are you entirely frustrated with this responsibility that I could have some "safe clean fun" "three elements of a party" shit? Had I known that resi- (gag) without the feeling that the hand of the dence life was going to be so controlled and dictated Administration was going to strike me down at any by the rules of the administration than I would have moment. taken my $1800 worth of residence fees and rented a room off-campus. At least then I would have been able to exercise a modicum of control over my surround- ings. I mean, what's the point in letting a residence floor have any two of a) mem- bers of the opposite sex, b) alcohol, and c) music, but not all three at once? Coming Tues., Oct. 18... Doesn't that sound a little bit, umm, ah, about letting students exercise some responsibility, isn't that a part of why IJ we're here? Has Wilfrid Laurier always fWENO 0 been this way? [■■■US*!: tickets S6 in advance, S8 at the door It's not just the anti-party rules that available at the Centre Spot

14 ■ • October 5, 1994 • The Cord • Opinion Mama, I'm coming home

Guelph's homecoming, and I discovered that and forth between boisterous cheering and rather go here than Western; or any place, for this wasn't true. F.ven though they were pained silence. that matter. trounced quite soundly by a certain purple Even though the game ended in a loss to Homecoming 94 was a rousing success. I THEVIEW FROM and gold team, the legions at Moo U still ral- the dreaded purple Satan, the game offered only hope that everyone involved will work lied behind their team and their school. The excitement until the dying seconds. This is hard to ensure that the event remains this major difference seemed to be that the school only one game, and we are still 3-1 and will exciting for years to come. Prove that this itself supported the weekend with many be ready to play Western again if we have to year wasn't a fluke. FARM planned events lx;sides the football game. meet them in the playoffs. I have a feeling that this Homecoming Now this year, with the opportunity of It's sort of strange that our sense of school was so hyped simply because we were play- GREG SLOAN playing Western for top spot in the division, spirit is wrapped up in the outcome of a foot- ing Western. Would everyone have been as Cord Opinion the Homecoming spirit seemed to be catch- ball game. With the loss many Laurier fans gung ho about the whole thing if we had A time to take pride in your school. A chance ing at Laurier. Even though I did manage to left the stadium depressed, and I imagine that been playing Mac? to show your spirit. Or simply an excuse to have a great time at a I lomecoming party last Western fans believed that their school was a Regardless of who we play, I hope the party. However you want to look at it, year, I didn't get the impression that this feel- little better than ours, simply because their crowds will still come out to the game and I lomecoming 94 has come and gone and we ing of spirit was shared throughout the cam- football team had won one game. show off their pride and spirit, wearing pur- are all pretty much the same. The only differ- pus. This year it was. The school got their act Should we let a few guys playing a game ple and gold and screaming like banshees. ence is that some people may be a little more together and had several planned events. The shape how we feel about our entire institu- I know 1 will be back here, in the years to tired, worn exit, or purple-tinged. Homecoming party at Seagrams was sold out tion? I love football, and I strongly support come, with the Mrs. and little gaffers in tow, By the way, that body paint will wear out in a day. I had the feeling that Homecoming the Hawks, but I know that, win or lose, cheering on the Hawks. And that's the view of your hair by about Christmas. If you don't hadn't lieen this anticipated for years. Laurier is still a great place to go to school. I'd from the farm for this week. want to wait, you could follow the latest Well, the day came and 1 marched myself trend that seems to be sweeping this school, down to the stadium. The numlier of people and shave your head. at the game was impressive. The official reason for staging In fact, the stadium may have been too Homecoming seems to have been lost full. In the section below us some boisterous through the passing of time. I guess originally fans appeared to win their battle with the it was meant as a showcase for students and stands. Heavy structural damage was sus- alumni to join together and support their tained and Laurier's finest had to clear out a school. The U.S. colleges have made it into few rows before the entire area sank out of an art form, and most base this explosion of sight. The potential tragedy was fortunately spirit and drunkenness around a football avoided. Imagine Kubas dropping back to game. pass, looking right, looking left, and then College football being a tad bit more sup- being distracted by the noise of a few hun- ported down there (average crowds of dred people falling to their deaths. He gets around one hundred thousand), their home- sacked and we have to punt. What a bum- coming is more exaggerated. They have the mer. numbers and the money to make their home- I was impressed by the new shinny green coming a major celebration. turf that we now have. I've heard its sup- That doesn't mean that small schools like posed to create a faster game. The biggest our own Mecca of madness can't join in on attribute that I saw it possessed was the abili- the fun. Especially when our football team is ty to retain water. It had rained earlier in the poised to assume the number one ranking in morning, thus dampening the field. The sun the country. Perhaps the most exciting part of then came out. and at times in the aftemcxin this year's homecoming was that we were it was almost sweltering in the stands. playing everyone's favourite team to Ivate, However, the turf managed to hold more Western. This game promised to offer a little water than the more excitement than some of the recent Mississippi River basin. Homecoming matchups with sub-par teams, Even in the fourth including Windsor and those masters at quarter, a tackled play- avoiding the win. York. er would slide another The Right Agenda? The past three Homecomings here at fifteen yards in the W.L.II. sent a message to me that this event midst of a spray of isn't that big of a deal. Everybody went to the H2O. It was the most 1 always get a of the Devil himself. They charge our purpose is to game, and then it was business at usual. In expensive wet banana kick out of the recant the youth of the world and to institute the Reign first year we went to the Twist. Wow, what a I'd ever seen. rabid Christian of the Anti-Christ in order to sustain our "depraved" change of pace. People just didn't seem to be The game was a radicals in the lifestyles. The image of the Gay Agenda (TM) has been that pumped up about the whole thing. close one, and the world that toot effectively used to frighten a lot of people when there I thought maybe it was like this at all high tension had the that there is this really is nothing behind the image so made. schools. Then in second year I went to crowd swinging back Inqueeriesby Gary van Lingen Gay Agenda What people are missing here is that there is no Gay (TM) thing that Agenda (TM). The big charge is that we recruit. That is we (the Gays) are all behind. Somehow we all are fight- not true for the vast majority of us as this majority ing for the same thing everywhere and we are all believes sexual orientation is not something you chose. With Memberjhjc! plugged into this huge international conspiracy that even With this premise why would we even bother trying? We after the 11 "In Waterloo there are only two ways to have fun lights goout" | the Zurich Gnomes would be jealous of. Our secret tac- are oly working towards a place on this fair earth where tics include intense lobbying, blackmail, and the power you can be loving and sexual without regard to the sex of the person you love and/or have sex with. Anyone should be able to love another as they | Flat Rate Long Distance please (be that across sex, gender, race, culture TOW or religion). This would require that all the Get The DECADENCE I relationships (however composed) are consid- "V MurakamUapn, 199UH2 min. 1 35$ per call ered equal and that children (however prcxre- BLUES Lush dnematoaraphy and black humoui highlight 1 ated) can lx? raised by those who love them Gts Mm Snl (USA, 1993) 102 wh. ftl9 9 "? Between: Guelph, Cambridge, H IT . and not by just those who can squeeze them Uma Thurman ploys the big-thumbed hitchhiker Sissy Hank- W™ Nikatdo), who acts out disturbing1° fantases I1 to out to so show in Gus Van sant's adaptation of the populor lom Rob- for her clients, involving everything from drugs | Kitchener-Waterloo regularly without regard the child bins rood novel about sexual identity ana social discovery. S&M. born. Something so simple; a world where John Hurt, Lorrdne Bracco, Keanu Reeves ond Angie Dickin- . son co-star ~ WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT, DRUG Talk as long you like! love is the answer. I From the Novel by use & sexual violence. as y Sadly, this vision is still far away from Tom Robbins. / not for all tastes. Discount Dialling Inc. 651-0380 the reality of this world. A lot of work has to be done and when we try to get there the Far Right comes to fight against us. The image of the Gay Agenda has been a ready tool for m Dish] Being a student them to use on those people who do not sS©' v of know better. Whenever there is a push to deny s«, gays, lesbians and bisexuals of basic civil rights Rob Salem, Wim Wenders (W.Ger/Fronte, 1987) is a dirty job. (Colorado and other municipalities in the U.S.), TORONTO. STAR. 130 milt. Wenders' paean to Berlin (which won him the Gay Agenda (TM) is tossed about in an Best Director honours at Cannes) stars Students and faculty attempt to scare people into the appropriate Bruno Ganz as an angel assigned to watch direction. Fear is a powerful thing. To be tl over the city's occupants including a beau- Get 20X Off • wielding it so freely is terrifying. The Far Inc£ I L ■ tiful trapeze artist. Also starring Otto 1 your dry cleaning \Sanders and Peter Foik. 1 at Right's willingness to use fear leads me to jlingsnoi J wonder who is the one with the secret agen- REESE CLEANERS da? Film Cuides available at Princess St. W 1 25 University Wilf's & The Centre Spot Waterloo 885-2950§ Ave. E. 885-5180

The Cord • Opinion • October 5, 1994 • 15 .... JEANETTE STUART CORD FEATURES Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome is a reality which many must deal with on a daily basis. It is certainly not the kind of thing most of us will be discussing around a mug of beer at Wilfs. The uncomfortable tnnh alx)Ut this III disease it that it is tenninal. Once the Human Immuno-deficien<.y Virus is con­ tracted, there is only one route to be traveled. A route which most of us would prefer to avoid. TI1is week is AIDS Awareness week, and now is the perfect time to learn all you can about this disease and the H.I.Y. virus that leads up to it. The first question most people ask is simply: How does AIDS spread? Well, for those of you who are still unsure, AIDS can only be transmitted in a very limited num­ ber of ways. AIDS can be contracted through: unsafe sex, sharing needles, being bom to an infected mother, and using contaminated blood and blood products. TI1ese are the only known methods of transmission. TI1e next thing most people will want to know is: Am I at risk? \Xell, based on the ways that the disease spreads, many of you can deduce for yourseff whether or not you fall in a high risk category. If you have already contrJcted ven a sexually transmitted disease, you will have a higher risk of contracting AIDS. is t Having sexual intercourse without the benefit of a condom and a knowledge con of your partner's past exploits, and sharing needles for either recreational dmg sag usc or steroids would definitely place you in a high risk category. me The best way to reduce the risk is to use your common sense. For anyone COLI who feels they have participated in activities which may have put them at risk, me testing is available through Laurier's own Health Services. TI1e test<; are con­ ad ducted through the MDS labs, and all results are kept completely confidential. acr In fact Wilfrid Laurier does not keep any statistics concerning the number of cases among the student population. It is also important to remember that testing can be used as a preventative measure. There have been numerous cases where students have been tested for all sexually transmitted diseases, prior to having sexual intercourse with their new partner. However, keep in mind that testing is not full proof. In fact the Human lmmuno-<.leficien<.y Vims has an incubation period of up to six months. It is therefore recommended that those individuals who have a negative first test, have a second test later down the road. If an individual visits Health Services and requests to be tested, it is usually strongly advised that they allow a Hepatitis !3 test, as Hepatitis !3 is more contagious than AIDS. rees One of the main problems with I-IN is that many people don't even real­ arc ize they have it. A person can carry around the HN vims for ten to twelve indi years without any signs or symptoms of AIDS. This person, not realizing they don are a carrier, could infect many others (who in tum, may not realize they are recti carriers). The life expectan<.y of these individuals will depend largely on how tive. they first contracted the disease; the more disease particles transferred, the one ACC faster the onset of AIDS will occur. uni If you would like more information a!x)ut AIDS and other s·m·s, an infor­ Jour mation bn request. and an estimate of more than 400 cases of one program run by the center. David liN infection according to regional asS

16 • October 5, 1994 • The Cord • Feature Save Lives

GREG SLOAN Tims when the condom fails it is usually CORD FEATURES due to the error of those using the condom. HIV can be spread many different ways. Common reasons for breakage include teeth However, the majority of infections are sexu­ or fingernail tears, using oil-based lubricant~ , lll)' transmitted. As well, an estimated 12 mil­ using old condoms, exposure to heat, lion other sexually transmitted diseases occur reusing condoms, unrolling the condom annually in the U.S. What can he done to before putting it on, or leaving air in the tip. stop transmission of I !IV and other diseases If condoms are proven to be effective, through sexual intercourse? Abstinence is the why does data suggest that the majority of best course. Sex with one partner who is not sexually active couples do not use condoms7 1nfected is the next best alternative. For example, a national survey of heterosex- Many people ual adults with multiple find that they do Afew points on sex partners found only not fit into these 17% used condoms all of two patterns. for using CondOms correctly... the time. Another study them, the best pre­ • Use latex condoms; natural membrane stated only 200/o of sexu­ rentative measures condoms will not protect you from ally active American is to use a latex desease women reported that condom. TI1at mes­ • Check the expiry date their male partners used sage is being ham­ • Only use water-soluable lubricant<; condoms. (American mered home in • Never use oil based lubricants, they eat journal of Public Health, countless govern­ holes in latex 1993). ment sponsored • Use each condom only once This article advertisements • Store away from heat and sunlight; suggests that poverty across the entire even lxxly heat over a period of time and culture are impor­ media spectrum. It can destroy latex tant detenninants of con­ is easy to ignore • Practice on your own until you know dom use. ·After these fac­ these messages, how to put one on tors are accountd for, laugh them off, or women with multiple suspect the validity If you don't know how to use a condom, partners are less likely of condom effec­ follow these simple instructions. than those with one tireness. TI1e conse­ I. Open the package carefully partner to report consis­ quences of doing 2. Place condom on penis and pinch tip tent condom use. This ~l, however, can be 3. Roll it on the penis could be because of tl1e 1;1tal. 4. Lubricate hassle of dealing with Everybody ag- 5. Afterwards, hold the base and pull out many partners. It is also rees that condoms possible that a woman are not lOOOAl effective, and a high degree of protected from pregnancy by other means individual co-operation is necessary for con­ will have less motivation to use a condom. doms to be so. Yet if condoms are used cor­ Some couples may not believe that con­ rectly and consistently, they are highly effec­ doms are effective. Some simply do not tive. Two studies monitoring couples where believe they could be infected, and do not one was HIV-positive and the other was want to suffer the inconvenience of condom uninfected support this claim (American use. .Journal of Public Health, 1993). Another prevention strategy is condoms l~ttex condoms arc rigorously tested to for women. The FDA recently approved a ensure that they meet federal and industry female condom. A limited study of this con­ standards. The standard test used by the FDA dom as a contraceptive indicates a failure 11 the water-leak test; the condom is filled rate of about 26% in 1 year. Further clinical with 300 ml of water, stretching it to as much research is necessary to detennine its efrec­ as four times its original size. tiveness in preventing transmission of HIV. DSinK-W the 'lfre are several new medications which Another major problem is tllat tile government is of ha~b.>enfound to have certain anti-HIV proper­ doing very little in tlleir support of individuals liv­ As ties; Jm-ever without approval these drugs are ing with HIV and AIDS. an not alll.l·ed to be produced commercially. Many Wayne has strong support from his family and of drug ;ompanies producing these drugs do friends, which is vital to anyone confronting any reqtiltest subjects. Individuals must meet extra­ conflict in their life. For the most part Wayne is ing ord JJy specific requirements to be considered angry more tl1an anything else at t11e way society n- recipl perceives t11ose witll HIV and AIDS. Personally, ot Pr; tly, d1ere is a drug being tested for can- he doesn't care about the way society regards lthe cer n rch which has been found to possess him. He cares about tile way society's percep­ cenai: lflti-H!V characteristics. However, since it tions effect oilier people living witll tile disease. ed is spq · lly identified as a treatment for cancer He's enraged that people are going to die ral any~ diagnosed with HIV cannot be a candi­ because of social attitudes. "It would be so differ­ ell date testing. As you can see this can be ent if it wasn't a sexual disease", he says. Certain he extld ·frustrating for Wayne. "There are effec­ individuals don't have the moral strength to tell id- tive u ilments and people should have access to doctors what they want, and as a result they're to themhe says. going to needlessly suffer. Wayne believes tllat it Thre are so many possibilities, but they are is important for people with tllis disease to break as held lxk by the red tape. Certain companies will out and talk about it witll someone. to releas medications to individuals only under It is not sometlling tl1at should make anyone extrere situations where all other treatments feel ashamed or embarrassed. It, like cancer, is a haveJied. They will not release them to those terrible disease and only through support from n see~ new treatments. the community can we all help each oilier. There ': ~e is a member of a group in Toronto is notl1ing to fear by disclosing your status. The •y called ~e Buyers Club". This small band uses most difficult thing is to deal with something ng their llective abilities to import treatments when you cannot acknowledge it. t- which re available across the globe. He says Wayne wants people to become better to tllere ': effective herbal treatment which tlley informed about tllis disease. "Knowing safe sex is bring from China known as Compound Q. A not enough -- DO IT!" The community must ,]e single >.atment for a montll costs $320 US. become more aware of what is happening. In the Un ;tunately, the treatment for HIV is astro­ Kitchener-Waterloo region there are hundreds of nornicfll both money and time. One must keep people living with HIV right now. This is not a in mind1at medical plans cover little or none of disease exclusive to big cities or particular types the co~f these drugs. Of tile $900 to $1100 per of people. We are all tile same. We are all suscep­ month at these drugs cost only a small percent­ tible. age is qered under the Canadian medical plans. Does tllat change anything?

The Cord • Feature • October 5, 1994 • 17 SPORTS DAMN MUSTANGS

ADRIAN OSBORNE Unfortunately for Laurier, after the single, yards out. another field goal and scored yet another Cord Sport Western moved the ball 75 yards on 10 With under two minutes to go before single point In the battle of undefeated teams with first plays. Nine of the ten plays were on the halftime, Kubas hit Zach Treanor for a 58 Laurier's defence then played extremely place and a spot on top of- die national ground. Nine of the ten plays went to run- yard catch and run touchdown. Treanor tough and managed to shut down the rankings on the tine, the Laurier Golden ning back Sean Reade, one of the country's had previously made big catches on the potent Mustang ground game for the rest of Hawks fell just short in an exciting, action- best backs. Reade, chosen as Western's Hawk's first touchdown drive as well. Me the quarter. The linebackers pressured the packed football game. Hie University of player of the game, had a 23 carry, 169 yard was named Lauder's player of the game. quarterback and pursued the running backs Astern Ontario Mustangs beat the Hawks day. On the ensuing kickoff, despite knowing well. 24-22 in this year's homecoming game. To begin the second quarter, after where the kick was going, Western was A 43 yard catch by l'taszek put the Despite the loss, there were some posi- Laurier's first touchdown. Western ran back unable to catch the 'live' ball and burner's Hawks on their opponents 9 yard line. tive things that came out of Saturday's the kick to midfield But on the first play special teams squad recovered it just 25 Unfortunately for the Hawks however, the game. First and most notably, the Hawks from scrim mage the 'Stangs promptly fum- yards from the endzone. With a minute left best they could do is come away with three must now believe that the Mustangs are bled the ball and Ryan Owens of the Hawks in the half, Pat O'Leary kicked a 33 yard points which put them down by two with beatable. Before Saturday, no one has scooped up the loose ball Alter two plays, field goal to make the halftime score 18-9 in four minutes to play. come close to stopping them. With the it was third and long and the Hawks were Laurier's favour. Dropped passes and receivers slipping I score so close and the number of slips and in a punting situation. They tried a fake The WLIJ Cheerleaders put on the half- hurt the team in the final minutes as the dropped passes by Laurier so high, a few- punt, similar to the one at Guelph last week time show for the capacity crowd Hawks could not get into field goal range. better bounces would have changed the that worked so well. The intended receiver (announced paid attendence was over fifty A rematch is certainly possible in the outcome of the game. Second. Bill Kubas would stand right beside the Laurier bench five thousand, I'm guessing that the actual playoffs, probably for the Yates Cup, It was and Stefan Ptaszek continued their assault and tiy to look like he's not involved with turnout was a little less). unfortunate that Laurier was unable to capi- on the OIJAA and CIAU record books. the play. Well, Mustang players are appar- To begin the third quarter, Western inter- talize on the opportunity to win the game Kubas broke the all time OIJAA passing ently not as dumb as Gryphon fanners and cepted the ball at midfield and then the because of the opposition's missed field yardage record on Laurier's first series of the IxTore the ball was snapped the entire side |X)werful offence scored their second touch- goals. But the defense came on strong late game which also led to the first score of the was pointing at the Laurier bench, or more down mainly due to the scrambling abilities in the game and hopefully can apply what game. A single point was the result of a specifically at the receiver. Needless to say of their quarterback Warren Goldie. they learned when they encounter them missed field goal attempt by Pat O'Leary the play did not work and Western got the Hawk running back Peter Hwang again. from 32 yards. Two possessions later Kubas ball back at midfield. responded on the next drive with 6 carries The next game is at home against the broke the record he tied last week in This eventually set them up for a 25 yard for 45 yards but a sack forced Laurier to Mac Attack on Thursday night. Gametime is Guelph, the all time OUAA touchdown field goal attempt. The normally steady punt which earned another single point. 7:30. Then an "away" game, again on the passes record. At the other end of the TD Frank Jagas missed the kick but did tie the Laurier was Lip by three. turf at Seagram, against crosstown rivals toss? Who else but Ptaszek, who broke the game at eight apiece with the single. The Mustangs scored another touch- Waterloo will be played at 2:00 Saturday CIAU record for all time pass receptions Western's next possession yielded a simi- down to end the third quarter. Shortly after October 15. later in the half. lar result. This time Jagas missed from 34 the fourth quarter began, Jagas missed yet

Dave Sguigna - Football A view the lines Dave is a third year player from Sault Ste. Marie who from had an outstanding game against Western on Saturday. JEREMY RAKOWSKY blocks and .some dropped balls. We should come Dave started at left tackle and worked hard to try to stop Cord sports back with a vengence on Thursday. the powerful Mustang offense. The end result was Hatred! We hate Western, 'Ejtfti seems to be the con- I know from speaking to the defense that they feel Western's poorest offensive showing of the year and sensus among the Hawk players after our loss on the Western offense are a bunch of cocky sons-a- Squigna was given the nod as the defensive player of Saturday, Not tjjat we iiked them be/ore, now wc )ust bitches, By the end of the game> there were almost the game by the Laurier coaches. want tokill them. j fist fights oft the field. Add to that the fact that the We don't buy the cop out that it's "good* that we officiating was questionable at times, and it was easy lost to them now insteadof..to the playoffs, m warn- to see why frustrations mounted. ed to heal their asses and we wanted to be number I'm not trying to lay blame on anyone. We lost fair one the we're not and feel and Coach Zmich probably said it best tlie in country.■ 4 However, 1 square. at sorry for MacMaster because Thursday night they w2! end of the game when he stated that Western played find out wliat it's tike to be in the wrong place at the their best game and up to their full potential. Vfc wrong time. know that as a team we can play a lot better, keeping Getting back to the Western game, our offense in mind that we only lost by two points. In all, we feels we had a poor game. Wig had some missed are definitelylooking forward to a rematch. 18 • October 5, 1994 • The Cord • Sports HawksWeek O'The Can the Bills rebound? Maybe not, but they're back for anotherkick at the can

BRAD MCQUEEN solid, even with the new secondary. But its designed "tend Cord Sports don't break" mentality is enough to make even defensive coor- Evening Buffet As a learned historian it will be interesting to see if Marv Levy dinator Walt Corey swallow a swizzle stick. The Bills must will record his team's run through the 90's as a success or a fail- improve on third down defence, whether it be through a more Fri. Sat. Sun. ure. The Bills' seemingly unbreakable will has brought sighs of concentrated pass rush, or improvement of the zone defence. relief from Bronco and Viking fans, whose teams had held the On offence the position of left tackle has been reduced from All You Can Eat dubious distinction of having the most losses in the Superbowl, all-star to eye sore. Jerry Crafts has not adjusted to his starting until Buffalo lost for the fourth straight time. So the question position, leading the Bills to shuffle position along the line. that begs to be asked: Is Buffalo still the elite team of the AFC However, they are improving with Thomas having mshed over and capable of making their way back one hundred yards in two games, and $11.95 to the big game? same in a third almost doing the Includes Hot Buffet, SaladBar When the 1994 season kicked off before an injury in the first half ended Buffalo had already named its intention The Bills are his day. for success as the "Strive for Five". The calling Two problems the Bills encounter Bills had lost offensive linemen Jim theirl994 every year are the number of intercep- jfeAa&ti. Richter and Howard Ballard, as well as tion thrown, and the lack of touch- Nate Odomes and Mark Kelso from the campaign the downs scored from inside the red secondary. They were however, able to zone. Currently sitting at eight after retain the core of their team. Some "StriveFarFive" five games, Buffalo's interceptions questioned the effectiveness of their stem from Kelly's confidence that he replacements, especially on the offensive can win the million dollar shootout line, and the first game of the season gave an indication of the every time. The fact that they have scored few touchdowns problems that would have to be dealt with during the year. when they were inside the twenty yardline shows the ineffec- Alter an ugly loss to the Jets to open the season, the Bills tiveness of their short, over the middle passing game when the Pierre's would record victories against the Patriots, Oilers and Broncos, area gets crowded. If they get inside the five though, two with considerable improvement in some areas, but glaring prob- words: lineman eligible. Don't expect these last two problems lems remaining in others. From the outset of die game the Bills to get fixed anytime soon. have a problem, kickoff coverage. With the ball being kicked If the Bills rise to the occasion they can take first place atop from five yards deeper this year, and opponents finally catching the AFC east. If they do not take on the threat imposed by on to Steve Tasker, returns are consistently crossing the thirty- Marino and company, a loss may realistically set them on a path five yardline. When the defence takes the field they are still toward wild card contention. $2.99 Rugby troubles BREAKFAST Monday-Saturday 7am-11:30am jfeAfitet

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The men's rugby team had a tough week, losing twice. On "Wednesday, the Hawks were downed by a tough Waterloo Warriors squad by a score of 28-3. tilings didn't get much better on the weekend as the team from RMC shut out Laurier to a tune of 19-0. The lasses drop the Hawks to fourth place in their division, with a record of one win and three losses. Next game on Saturday the 7th at 3:00 when Trent comes to town. 50's & 60's Dance Bar (Fri. Sat. Sun. Nights) Pucto I —— — — — 1 Sundayßrunch wtttftbeNHL jCOOKIES & CRACKERS & CANDIES| All You Can Eat hatwS/i^tackof J''01116 see a " our Pr °ducts at factory outlet prices! J hockey, we are still I Specials: 6 pkgs. of Candy for I $9.95 Includes Hot Buffet, SaladBar I > oo I accepting entries _ .ij $x iw the CordSports ■ J||l|mL ■ ' Coupon ~! NHL Pbol. 5 lbs. of Cookies | i 10% | (Food only) |

~ ~ ! BfrffßTrl soonasthe NHL "T I Mill iSKr | T WLU ; *'».« i season does. «..««.rJT 450 King Street North, Waterloo frod willing, ■ ,T.l .1J that will be very soon. |Qg^SS9BI3«HMIBHHnHH9HI The Cord • Sports • October 5, 1994 • 19 " Homecoming Board of Studenflictivities • Vhat's UP havoc Ij m October Players broke records, fans broke stands MARK ELLIOTT different cheers were shared. The game Cord Sports started and we did our best to root for the The big clay would soon be here. 1 tossed Golden Hawks. I nearly ruptured my and I turned in my sleep and thought of all spleen when we scored that first touchdown the wonderful things I would see tomorrow, and I threw my coloured pie plate onto the Oct 11 BirdlDance for tomorrow was to be my Christmas, field in ecstasy. Home-Coming 1994. I had spent days per- Soon after, the biggest tribute any fans suit and countless could ever receive hap- Conjjgetition Ipm in fecting my _ hours thinking of appropri- pened to our section, we broke the stands. Our — ate and off colour cheers, the Slncourse and that day finally came. The biggest jumping and general crazi- My day started at 9:30 as ness had cracked one of a night of tribute any the support beams. We LeaSto Polka I awoke from : to were relocated to the area V- , if slumber get myself pre- : 4— pared. I ate some toast and fans could beside the Western band. had a few Barley sandwiches We proceeded to trade Oct 12 Euchle Tournament as I readied myself with my ever receive barbs for the remainder of who I will refer to the game. 112 t*;-: , sidekick, As the momen- ' as "Pasto". happened to in Concourse Once we were all suited tum changed in favour of up we left for a pre-game the purple mules we tried our section, on - party at one of our friends' ? to spur the home team. 1 pm Pool houses where more brown I think part of me died that liquid was consumed. We we broke the day as the ball went Tournament practiced our cheers off our through Pat O'Leary's at friend's balcony. We even , stands. hands the end of the got to meet their landlord as fourth quarter. I was deep he came by to inform us the police would in the depths of despair but I tried to think Oct 13 Ipm in corJ|purse soon arrive if we did not stop cheering. The about the Vanier cup, and I knew I would grinch could not ruin our Christmas and we be alright. That night, at a social gathering, 1 saw this as a sign from the football gods heard the chants and I knew tomorrow Excel M the come. |L beerfpug- (Ptaszek and Kubas). Once arriving at would game we immediately looked for seats. We Next week another game would be Apple were lucky to get in with some other row- played as we travel to my New Years Eve, ifc ging the Vanier Cup. §trud^K dies. It was a big caring group as all of the Ha\Atooberfest in

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20 October 5, 1994 • Dm Cord • Sports NHL Preview- Part I

MARK ELLIOTT of the 3 alarm fire, Buffalo. Last the test playoff goaltender ever in the remaining good teams in the point man up front that goes by the Sports Cord year, without the likes of Pat La-La- Grant Fuhr. Up front, the return of division are all fairly close. I will, name of Adam Oates. The big The Northeast division will be one LaFontaine and Alexander Mogilny LaFontaine and Mogilny will mean however, place the Mario-less question mark, besides Neely that of the most competitive in hockey. for stretches, who were their 2 120+ point and 50+ goal seasons Penguins in 3rd. Pittsburgh should is, is in the nets as a bunch of no- All of the teams will te in the hunt leading offensive producers, they respectfully. This year Buffalo will still have some fire power up front names battle it out. for first place, except the Senators finished 11 games above .500. The finally get it together now that they with the likes of Luc Robitaille How far have you fallen O- and the Whalers who will Ix; play- key last year was defense, lead by have both ends of the ice covered. (who arrived from La La Land), mighty Canadiens? This year we ing for last place in the league. Vezina winner Hasek and a strong Coming in after the Sabres we Kevin Stevens, and an overrated will continue to see the fall of the For the division winners look but anonymous defensive core. have the capital of the Belle Jaromir Jagr. Things are not all best franchise in professional just across the border to the capital For a back-up Buffalo has perhaps province, the Quebec Nordiques. roses for the Pens as their defense sports. The problem is offense. Kweebeck (a la Don Cherry) is is old and slow. The man between Namely, they don't have any. absolutely loaded up front. They the pipes, Tom Barrasso, is definite- Vinny Damphousse will get you SCOTT STINSON players while they aren't getting have 100+ point man your quiet 80 points but Cord Sports paid a cent. Talk about leverage. Joe Sakic as the after that it drops off with An open letter to Gary Bettman, The clubs are owned by people anchor. The return- Theproblem is that Bellows and captain Kirk NHL Commisioner: with vast other sources of income. ing supporting cast (Muller) providing the Fuck you. You little weasel. They can afford a delayed opening will be strong as his additional spark. The rea- That just had to be said. of the season. Some of the players, Owen Nolan has Roy hasn'tfound son that Montreal will be Now then, if you hadn't already of course, aren't exactly hard done recovered from his competitive is St Patrick guessed, I'm a little perturbed by. They can afford to wait awhile injuries and Mike scoring touchyet. Roy, the best goalie in the about your "postponement" of the too. But not most of them. For Ricci will again be a game. The problem is that NHL season. My question is why? the average player who hasn't got dominant centre for the Nordiques. ly on the down swing of his career. he has not found his scoring touch I was pretty sure 1 had it all fig- a paycheque since the end of last Most of the excitement is around The Pens have a few senior citizens yet. ured out lxjfore. You were threat- season, the wallet is starting to get two new arrivals. Peter Fosberg a tip front with the 37+ club of Joe Fighting not to be last will be ening the players with a lockout a little thin. What better time to former #1 pick will play this year Mullen and Bryan Trottier, who are Hartford. Hartford is full of g(X)d because you wanted to protect negotiate a good deal with player's and will be in the hunt for not getting any more spry. Lastly, young players like Geoff against a late season strike that than when most of them are des- of the year honours. Fonner Leaf any team that would sign John Sanderson, Andrew Cassels, and a would give the players all the perate to get hack to work? And Wendel Clark should add some Cullen is not the top of the heap. tower of a man in Chris Pronger. leverage in the longer it leadership and grit if they can keep Following the Pens are the boys The Whalers also have a decent contract drags on the his OHIP riddled body in the line- from Bean Town. The big question goalie in Sean Burke. The bottom negotiations. better off the up. The only chink in the annour this year will be "How is your knee line is without Ottawa around these Fine. You OUTSIDE owners are of the Nordiques is the defense. A Cam?". Cam Neely had problems guys would finish last. Their time were only going to be. lacklustre defense will hopefully loe last year with his knee that limited may come in a few years, then doing ye the lockout as a means to gain reached, and it ended up costing leverage in the contract talks. But them milllions. You only wanted you didn't fool me. You greasy to avoid that same fate in hockey. roach. That was pretty smooth though, Give us hockey back. Once not to mention a little underhand- your next deadline rolls around, if ed, the way you claimed you were a deal hasn't lieen reached, let the only afraid to start a season that season start anyway. The players might be stopped due to a strike, won't strike. Despite all the propa- like you had the fan's best interest ganda your offices have been in mind. Very smooth. spouting forth, the league is not in And then, last week, like a gift dire economic straits. The Leafs from the heavens, came a guaran- can afford to charge 75 bucks for tee from the National Hockey gold seats. You just signed the first League Players Association that ever American television deal. there would be no strike this sea- Expansion teams in California and son. At any time. None. Your Florida are very successful, despite greatest fear - that the season expectations of failure from most Colour of the month would be interrupted by a strike - prognosticators. The New York had Ixx'n laid to rest. Tune to play Rangers won the Cup last year in hockey dammit! seven thrilling games over the Yet is no Vancouver GOLD there hockey. The Canucks, and the posi- players have promised not to tive exposure that the NHL got strike, and still, there is no hockey. throughout the continent was 1 T-shirt within colour group get 10% off But I've figured you out again. imeasureable. And you claim the T-shirts within colour group get 15% off You weasel. You just couldn't give league is in trouble. 2 up that prime negotiating ]X>sitjon, Cut the shit, Bettman, and let 3 T-shirts within colour group get 20% off could you? Now, you get another the players play. We, the fans, to T-shirts two weeks of negotiations with the deserve it. (special applies only)

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The Cord • Sports • October 5, 1994 21 Soccer Hawks kickin'

KERI SEMENKO slipped through the hands of and the ball dropped neatly Cord Sports Laurier netminder Sonya Ritcey. behind Brock's keeper. On a weekend that saw Laurier at The close score at the end of the Unfortunately, the glow of this the losing end of several athletic first forty five minutes was indica- beautiful goal wore off quickly as contests, the momentum was cer- tive of how well matched the the Brock tally increased to two on tainly against the Golden Hawks teams were. The majority of rush- a well placed shot from the right ladies' soccer team. es up field were broken up by side that never gave Ritcey a The party Starts A game on Saturday at the strong, if unorganized, defence on chance. As the game wound to a University of Western Ontario both sides. close it appeared that Laurier ended in a 3-1 defeat as the During the second portion of would lose a second consecutive at WUf'a.. Hawks gave up two quick goals in the game, hostilities became more game. the dying minutes of the game. evident as the play began to The Hawks proved that noth- On Sunday afternoon the Hawks resemble a full contact, Aussie ing is certain until the final whistle were home at Bechtel Park to take rules type of soccer. Several play- blows. A goal came just before on the Brock Badgers. The first ers were helped off the field after the conclusion of the game after i Thurs. Oct 6 half of the match was a sloppy being involved in collisions and there was a prolonged period of affair for both teams. Muddled purely "unintentional" body check- tight play in the Brock goal area. Safe As Milk plays and missed opportunities left ing. Eventually, the Hawks were The late goal secured the tie for each side scoreless until just before able to respond to the earlier the Hawks and allowed them to ; half time. The Brock goal came Brock goal with one of their own. come out of the weekend with moments before the whistle to end The Hawk attacker lofted a long their spirits up and some of )J Thurs. Oct 13 the half. It was a fluke shot that arching shot from the mid field Laurier's pride intact. v«K. _ \\)" Live Surprise

w Fri Oct 14 ./ffW_j, lK Squirm \ \ vy \... VS&|Ofcti5x / \Jr Oktobcrfest Alternative

...where the Good HENSEL Times Begin. MARION A Brock defender pursues as the Hawks move upfield in Sunday's tie with the Badgers. I PICTURE: HawksHockey gearup Casey1! WEBER

HOURS: Monday & Tuesday 9-6 ; Wednesday to Friday 9-9 : Saturday 9-5 1 • Sharpening %,'J {J< :| ~EE) • '.iymgmlllllllllll

PETE ROBINSON do some moic vgxk" • • Cord Sports The Hawks see moflfr BUY SELL RENT The Men's Varsity Hockey team saw its first game action of the year this weekend with the annual October Ist game those gamJPlMai with this against Waterloo. weekend's O&obeffest tourna- The Hawks counted a goal ment, to showhow laurier's sit- from Scott Cullen and an over- time marker from rookie Matt Turek to come home with a 2-1 win. Coach Wayne Gowing saw "some things that you would expect from an exhibition game. Both some good things that pleased me and some oth- hockey preview in the next ers that showed me we need to issue.

• 22 October 5, 1994 • The Cord Sports NHL Preview - Part Deux

SCOTT CULLEN strong. Off-season acquisitions Phil Housley pick Jamie Storr. As things stand, Kelly play with newcomer Valeri Karpov and veter- Cord Sports Steve and Chiasson are both experienced, Hmdey will see the most time in the Kings' an Anatoli Semenov. Support will be provid- The Pacific Division appears to be the weak quality defensemen. Former Olympians net with Robb Stauber potentially ending up ed by Bob Corkum, Garry Valk, Tim link in the National Hockey League again this Zarley Zalapski, James Patrick and Trent as trade bait. Sweeney and Sacco. season. Joe Yawney should thrive under former Olympic Prediction: Third in the Pacific Division. The additions of Tom Kurvers and second Vancouver and Calgary should battle for coach Dave King for an entire season. San jose Sharks overall pick, Oleg Tverdovsky, will bolster division title, the while the Californian teams Trevor Kidd will have to step in to fill the If ageless Russians Igor Larionov and the attack from the blueline. Bobby Dollas, in Anaheim, and San L.A., Jose should com- number one goaltending role with Mike Sergei Makarov can continue to produce, the David Williams, and Robert Dirk will provide prise the middle of the pack. That leaves the Vernon being traded to Detroit. Andrei Sharks will contend. They have solid depth solid defensive play. Edmonton Oilers to get t-I r 1 what they pay for Trefilov or Jason provided by Ulf The Ducks will be counting on repeat and finish last. Muzzatti should Dahlen, Todd performances from Guy Hebert and backup Vancouver Canucks provide capable Elik, Pat Falloon, Mikhail Shtalenkov. If Hebert can prove his The Canucks are led by Russian The Oilers should the relief. Johan Garpenlov, first year'as a starter wasn't a fluke then the Rocket, Pavel Bure, who paced the league Prediction: and promising 6- Ducks will again be competitive. with 60 goals last year, a get what theypay and Trevor Linden, Second in the for foot-5 rookie Prediction: Fifth in the Pacific Division. strong leader and two-way player. Other Division. Edmonton Oilers Pacific - Viktor Kozlov. returning forwards include Geoff Courtnall Los a last Angeles Kings placefinish The defense is Young centres Doug Weight and Jason Cliff and Ronning. There is plen- young, but as Arnott are quality young players to build Brown and Jeff Jyrki Lumme provide a ty of experience they showed in around, as long as they stay in Edmonton. solid offensive presence on a deep blueline. up front, maybe last year's play- Shayne Corson and Zdeno Ciger are the only McLean Kirk and Kay Whitmore form a too much. Wayne Gretzky and Jari Kurri are offs, obviously has potential. Sandis other returnees that are proven scoring solid tandem in net. McLean proved in last the top threats, but are 33 and 34 years old, Ozolinsh and Jeff Norton head a group com- threats. year's playoffs what he can do with his clutch respectively. New acquisition Rick Tocchet prised of former Oiler Ilya Byakin, Vlastimil The young defense is led by Igor goaltending. needs to rebound from an injury plagued Kroupa, Jay More and Tom Pederson. Kravchuk and Fredrik Olausson. Luke Prediction: First in the Pacific Division. season, as does veteran Tony Granato. Arturs Irbe was a workhorse last season, Richardson, Boris Mironov, Adam Bennett, Calgary Flames The Kings are not deep on defense, but but he still needs vast improvement in his and rookie Nick Stajduhar should be able to The Flames are counting on the same the top four are excellent. Rob Blake has puckhandling, as evidenced by his embar- contribute. nucleus of Theoren Fleury, Gary Roberts, Norris Trophy potential. Alexei Zhitnik and rassing display in the playoffs. Jimmy Waite The defense's collective inexperience will emerging star Robert Reichel and ailing veter- Darryl Sydor are good, young, mobile is a solid backup and could probably be make Bill Ranford, the most frequent victim an Joe Nieuwendyk. There is also some sup- defensemen, and Marty McSorley provides an more effective with more playing time. in the Oiler net, appreciate the extra vacation port up front provided by Mikael Nylander, intimidating presence. Prediction: Fourth in the Pacific Division. time that comes with not making the play- Gennan Titov and Wes Walz. Goaltending lias been a consistent weak- Anaheim Mighty Ducks offs. Despite the losses of Al Maclnnis and ness for years, but help is on the way, per- The signing of future superstar Paul Prediction: Sixth in the Pacific Division. Gary Suter, the defense should be very haps as soon as this season from first round Kariya is a huge plus for the Ducks. He will Hockey starved? There is exciting JuniorB action right around the cornerfrom Laurier

ROB BRENNAN drafting of many of their key players, have Cord Sports made it an uphill battle for the defending A couple Sundays ago, I had an opportu- champs. Leask looked at it more as a chal- nity to sit back and watch the Waterloo lenge though, the challenge of building a Siskins in action, at the Waterloo Recreation new team that could play up to last year's Complex. What I hadn't expected was to performance. The Siskins acquired Brian see such an entertaining game, but oh my, Hayton, formerly from the University of entertaining it was. The game started out at Guelph Gryphons, to take over as head a very fast pace and continued on until the coach. When asked to rate Hayton's perfor- sounding of the buzzer at the end of the mance as head coach, Leask said, "Brian is third period. When it was all over the a teaching coach, the players are learning a ;l=ssE=i IH W M WwJuJB \ ...* Siskins sported a four to one win over the lot from him, he brings much to the team." sflslsß visiting Ohsweken Golden Eagles (maybe The Siskins look to have a solid team this they should learn to fly like our Hawks) year in great part due to the work of Leask. and improved their record to 2 wins and 2 Offence looks to be evenly distributed, losses. During the game I met Dave Leask, while their defence played solid all night the Director of Flayer Development, sitting long allowing only 12 shots on net. The in the stands with notebook in hand. Mr. goaltending will be shared by Elliott Faust Leask looked veiy pleased with his team's and Ryan Halladay, two promising rookies. effort. He should be. "They're a very If that Sunday's game was any indica- young team ", he commented, "especially tion of how the Siskins will play throughout the defence". At that very moment a the season, then look out. You can expect Siskins defender quickly took his man to see some very entertaining hockey. heavily into the boards, and almost defiant- ly broke up an Ohsweken offensive. A smile came across Leask's face while he was busily scribbling down a few more notes. The Waterloo Siskins, in case you didn't know, are the defending Junior B champi- ons this year, and they are looking to repeat last year's performance. This will be no easy task though, due to the increased j /available to uZp&sTy) competition from teams such as the Elmira Sugar Kings and the Stratford Culligans to ALL RESIDENCE STUDENTS name just a couple. The Waterloo Siskins 3 vA also lost several of their players during the and MEAL CARD HOLDERS summer, most notably Trevor Prior. Prior Kr^fS\\T was, in essence, the foundation of the team ! Mdyj last year, kicking out shot after shot and St 0-% leading his team to the 1993/94 Junior 13 | finals. "It was tough losing Prior", said i£/\-7~\\ Leask, "but it's part of the game" he said in Vvy/ a hushed tone. Many setbacks would meet the Siskins >00l at the beginning of this season, such as the I Free Coffee with Ad resignation of head coach Geoff Ward. The 4 loss of their head coach, coupled with the

The Cord • Sports • October 5, 1994231 Where'sENTERTAINMENTfire?the

down' fall , one's panls still once SELENE MCLEOD -rCe crowd livened up considerably u,> " 00. The band put 1 Cord Entertainment ,ii went evening, featuring talenteband of new ™ K,IJ fonh^a consisting . Ye, another I great show, time, I caught release, Buy lots of fun. This from their previous Just and at the. u songs a return engagement Furnaceface in *' 24. This of costumes (they're Saturday Sep, p~g 'I heir shows make use release party gogg es, and was advertised as their wearing their jumpsuits, Will Make still . release, "This toys, but their latest addition new Cargo/MCA Yo| headgear) and fell know, the kind you " aPP doors S, films (you to find that the school), projected onto white I arrived at 9.30, •asleep to in high Th'U was ok,ok because been building yet open. That was -We've PICTURE were not pldsheet-backdrops. of the manager and the time, ,o die graciousness towards this for a long __said_Tom FILE the opportunity to jMH Ive | 1 was allowed reaHast name I,anc couM "(bassist whose goes WnaceTaceragairr. This inrervrew are no help since he vi"w ed The CD liner notes Two. to the one 1 conduc not kidding.) a most be Pan bv Mr Poopyhead. I'm of Ottawa water best described as tack in February. We spoke Musically, Furnace-face is delivery, all-ages thrash, old punkaore. with 30-minute pizza a mid-SOs mix of catch-phrase. Twas alternative as a media B the pa "My Gidfriend since all = H°^,ghrofL rowincLded state, my*M-nduded f Ballad of Richard seemed in a dreamlike Thinks She's Fat" and"The BullDurham no matter. At least But They also ("So ask questions..."). lommi" (a true story). and hours! And they aS this one wasn't hours their encore, their besfreceived '®"B,™ rap calle ■ ake hilarious socially-conscious A|mont e, Ontario's .something like du> it ain't The opening band Shaky Dink." (Or high-energy Your their loud, they were performmg !:hm SCOTT STINSON unpredictable behaviour, and she sets Generic, delivered By the time semi-political ck to stripped themselves of their Cord Entertainment it. was point that I atmospheric they had out to find It at this lethargic crowd. They encore was even more small, unfortunately P^ 'What was underneath Suffering from withdrawl? Are your realized that this baseball movie was of • Lit.,. screaming guitar solos, plenty hands shaking because it's baseball play- rather short on baseball. featured y u If you and band interplay, and on and on, but 1 won't. off time and there aren't any playoffs? Except it isn't long on much else. jokes spec ""Tciuld go ou The frontman waseffective:a real go. Also, chec Looking toned vocals. haven't seen Furnaceface, for a good baseball movie to Nebraska's therapy is only mentioned in nipples pierced Couch.) cle with both of his video, "If You Love Her." ease the pain? Then "The Scout" isn't for passing, and we never learn much about wearing a belt > their way, what's the use of you. his past. He just keeps acting weird. By the The movie is the story of Al Percolo, The movie climaxes at the World played by Albert Brooks, an aging base- Series, where Nebraska is expected to ball scout who needs to find a prize make his pro debut as the starting pitcher prospect in order to save his career. for the Yanks. Except he doesn't want to What lie finds is Brendan Fraser's char- play, despite Percolo's pleading. Just acter of Steve Nebraska, who is sort of a when all is lost, Percolo figures out Hang i to bizarre cross between Robert what makes the kid tick, and he October 5 Where• Raffi is at the Centre in the sents the Masterpiece Redford's Roy Hobbs character in sets him on the right mental • The:; Groove Daddys with Square Series through the 15th at "The Natural", Forrest Gump, and, i path. Squirn| at Phil's • The K-W Art Gallery pre- the Centre in the Square well, Dennis the Menace. | Cut. It's a wrap. A funny stoiy October 6 sents a celebrity doodle October 15 f r § is an a • CD • as a Brooks the film's I about old guy taking | , Brt|bding Ground sketch auction at Rotary BTO with Cold Ice trib- high point, playing the { young flake under his wing. 11 re |^% e party part II at the Oktoberfest Hall in the ute to Foreigner at Lulu's role to funny perfec- Nicely done. II Y|)lc%io featuring Waterloo Recreational October 18 tion. Fraser deserves some But no. Somebody behind this Quiverjeg, The Longfellows. Complex • The Watchmen are at the credit for attempting such a movie was determined to get 11 T|e Outcasts October 8 Turret • • strange role. some baseball in. So before the 11 lie J-\V Symphony pre- Country Music Video • The K-W Art Gallery pre- The story unfolds as Percolo credits roll, the viewer is subject- s%|p Approaching the Dance Party at Lulu's fea- sents as part of the Art discovers Nebraska. Colombus was ed to the most exaggerated dis- 11 Third Millenium: 20th cen- turing No Fences, a tribute Alive series: Jil Campling: probably not as excited to discover play of baseball skill ever to be turjjr chamber music at the to Garth Brooks What's Your Perspective at America. S(x>n the kid is in New put on film. The kid is Babe 11 Forrester Recital October 13 the gallery York, and is signed by the | Ruth and Nolan Ryan all Mjlireen • The UW Film Society pre- October 19

• Yankees after displaying his rolled into one. Times ten. Theatre on the Edge live sents Chinese films: The • The Gandharvas are at ridiculous talents at a pro tryout. It's silly. Even the most casual of base- Jhf|>rov comedy at the Last Empress at East Phil's Everything is going swimmingly. hall fans would have to shake their J | kwr studio Campus Hall room 1219 • Douglas Beattie Theatrical Of course, our hero is not without his hands at how unbelievable the finish is. • T|t| UW Film Society pre- • Theatre on the Edge, live Productions presents Neil tragic Haw. He's just a tad scooters. The The whole thing is painful to watch. i| ■W'ts Chinese films: improv comedy at the Simon's I Ought to be in Yankees want a guarantee that Nebraska So, if you want to see Brooks at his Country and Customs in KWLT studio Pictures at UW's isn't about to wipe out a Wal-mart with best in a funny movie, see this flick on a Turmoil at East Campus October 14 Humanities Theatre an Uzi. cheap Tuesday or on video. If you are Ml room 1219 • Friends of Schizophrenics • The K-W Symphony pre- Enter Dr. Aaron, played by Dianne waiting for the next Bull Durham, or even j J October 7 benefit concert at the sents Baroque and Beyond Wiest. She figures out that something the next Bad News Bears, don't expect • "Bif Satanatras are at the Volcano at UW's Theatre of the from Steve's past is causing his immature, much from The Scout. II11 Volcano • The K-W Symphony pre- Arts.

24 October 5, 1994 * The Cord • Entertainment Good bands, cheap pitchers SELENE MACLEOD at having to put up with them, Too bandmembers) seemed to enjoy it. the fog? This isn't Black Sabbath." their performance, but what I saw cord Entertainment bad, because the set was fun, par- Of course, we'd had lots of liquid The Result was the headliner was pretty strong. The Result have Sept.2B, Last Wednesday, was the ticularly their version of that night. You should been together long enough to be first Musicians' Network Laurier Live "Country Roads" (a reggae have heard them by now, musically tight, yet Dave, the singer, night held at the Turret this year. thing.) They did the best but for those of you that still needs to bring lyric prompts They did the best they could under Up next was Mark haven't, their music is onstage. the circumstances, but unfortunate- Perak, who looked a lot decidedly different. They The performances were more ly, things could have l>een better. different from the last time combine elements of pop than passable, but the crowd was The evening got off to a bumpy I saw him. His perfor- circumstances and hard rock, electronic indifferent. It's too bad, because start with the amusing sounds of mance consisted of mostly instalments (including an the Musicians' Network is a worthy Matt Osborne and Andrew ."Surfin' originals, singer/song- electric violin), and some cause. Hopefully, the next Irv" Hopper. They delivered their writer stuff. What is it with folkies enhancement by that time, too. admittedly bad hairdos. I didn't Musicians' Network night will go folky songs to a small, lukewarm around here anyway? Well, all ten Turret specials applied that night. know I would be writing this arti- over better. Support your local crowd, who seemed to be annoyed of us in the audience (not including Best moment: "Could you turn off cle, so I didn't stay until the end of scene! StratfordFestival announces '95playbill

Artistic director Richard Monette Amadeus. intriguing drama of murder and announced the lineup for 1995 in Two musicals will be presented betrayal set in the world of interna- Stratford on September 13, and it at the Avon Theatre. Gilbert and tional diplomacy. looks like we are in for another Sullivan's The Gondoliers and Sandy "People come to the theatre for season of magic, laughter, and Wilson's The Boy Friend will both magic, laughter, and romance," said romance next year. open in opening week and will nin Mr. Monette as he outlined the Previews of the 1995 produc- for the duration ofthe season. 1995 playbill, "and we're offering it tions will begin on Monday, May 8 Two of the biggest hits of the in abundance. But neither are we and the season will officially open 1994 season will be revived at the shying away from that other essen- at the Festival Theatre on Monday, Tom Patterson Theatre: Diana tial component of great theatre:

May 29 with William Shakespeare's Leblanc's production of Long Day's the willingness to confront - and,

comedy The Merry Wives of Journey Into Night, by Eugene through art, to triumph over - the Windsor. Also opening at the O'Neill, and Richard Rose's Young darker sides of human experience." Festival Theatre the same week will Company production of Further details of the 1995 sea- be Shakespeare's popular tragedy Shakespeare's The Comedy of son, including the full complement Macbeth and William Wycherley's Errors will open in mid-June. The of directors and designers, as well Restoration comedy The Country late season opener at the Tom as principal casting, will be Wife. The late season opener at Patterson Theatre will be Timothy announced later in the year. the Festival will be Peter Shaffer's Findley's The Stillborn Lover, an

ff*\] - i ymuk i I I fyk * Chinese Student's Association's General Meeting. 5:45- room "Vv J 6:45 in 2C3 \ - MBit * Science Club J I Fiction/Fantasy is having a meeting tonight (lcx)k for posters). ljß \ j|||l fj/] Weekend of October 7-10 Hp " J • I ley, it's thanksgiving, they can't do anything when iilM ' you're not here! October 11 V Tuesday | • Debating Society realizes there's lots o' stuff going on A ? TCJ .Jmb w«s . 1 iIAUaLn '" ' ' li so I() c ' debates other like at : w days, today 5:30, il _ _ you're interested! Talk to them! —i— Wednesday October 12 >... ' • Anthropology Club's Funky Film Fest is tonight. Beat |I'| r the Niobe lounge, 7 pm to check it out.

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The Cord • Entertainment • October 5, 1994 25 DYNAMICDUO Dear Still Waiting, school. It is time to learn. Step boldly into the Life is short. Much too short to he waiting unknown. Offer to meet her half way. She'll aroundfor that special someone. Whileyou 're use one half ofa fleshy squash, andyou'll use waiting, ask yourself ifshe's out being punctu- the other, fust he grateful she never mentioned al" with someone else. Perhaps you should tell rodents. her you 're upset about her weak concept of Dynamic Duo time. If she cloesn't seem to want to change, Dear Dyno Duo, when Neanderthals clubbed and pulled drop her like a hotpotato. Ifyou are willing to Lately during sex my boyfriend's condom has women by their hair through the dirt. We put up with this crap, pick up a hobby. You'd BSA announces l">een coming off. Is this common, or is this however, believe that sometimes girls can be be surprised how fast the hours fly by while show simply a size problem? I feel uncomfortable justplain stupid. knitting an afghan. bringing up this problem with my boyfriend Dynamic Duo Dynamic Duo Thanks from the board of student activities (BSA) because 1 don't want to offend him. and WLUSU to everyone who com- Signed, Dear Dyno Team, Dear D.D., pleted the first-year entertainment survey Slip Slidin' Away My friend's lx)yfriend is a great guy until it's My girlfriend recently told me her sexual fan- during the summer. Congratulations also go just the two of us, at which point he remarks tasy, and to be totally honest I am quite out to Peter Durst, Michael Brown, and Dear Slip Slidin' Away, how amazing sexual intercourse with me frightened. I don't want to get into particu- Margaret Barret as the three prize winners in It seems that your man holds delusions of would be. Finally I told him that I had no lars, but it involves produce and chocolate the draw conducted from all first-year stu- grandeur. Obviously you feel uncomfortable interest in helping him cheat on his girlfriend. sauce. How do I tell her I'm intimidated by dents. about this, shoes that are too loose usually At this point he stated that he would gladly her fantasies without sounding like a wimp? The results of the survey will be used leave water blisters. One way around this watch me masturbate, which to him does not Signed, when programming all forms of entertain- it music in problem is to do your own prophylactic shop- constitute cheating. How do I deal with this Fearful of Fantasies ment on campus, whether be the acts. On ping. However, don't forget to hide the extra- situation? Turret, concerts, or Wilfs that note, small condom box, roommates would have a Signed, Dear Fearful of Fantasies, The Watchmen will be playing in the Turret field clay! If the problem still persists, and for Exasperated Lettuce (hatha!) ponder this-you are afraid of on Tuesday, October 18! Tickets go on sale the 5) - $6 some reason youfeel the sex is good, Nike offers produce? Don t be such a wimp. Life is a at Centre Spot today (October in the new air-pump condom. It's gonna PUMP Dear Exasperated, learning process, an experiment, and you're at advance, $8 at the dcx>r. See you there! him up. Did you ever ask. this fellow what enjoyment Dynamic Duo you would receive from his voyeurism? Obviously he thinks you hold a higher opinion Dear D.D., ofhim than you do. Go ahead, snitch on him. i just found out that my boyfriend has been Threaten to tell all. Or, just tell him to go screw cheating on me for the past year. We just himself-and no. you are not at all interested in broke up and he has already found another watching! girlfriend. Answer this, oh Dynamic ones- Dynamic Duo why do girls so often fall for those who will hurt them? Dear Dynamic Duo, Signed, I really like the girl I'm seeing, but she has Curious one problem. Punctuality. Often when I go to pick her up, she's not home or she's not Dear Curious, ready. On average I wait about two hours. Is Tins question has puzzled scientists for years. there any way to light the fire under her ass? It goes along side ofthe fact that often women Signed, will drop guys likeJlies merely because they are Still Waiting "too nice". Darwinists believe it reverts back to

Guefph's Tamarack brought their historical kx>ls \ music to the Kitchener City Hall Wednesday to celebrate Kitchener Parks Week. The band, founding members James Gordon, Alex Sinclair • and newest member Carole Leclair, re-jeleased their locally-inspired Tamarack Tamarackon the Grand j CD in June and have been touring various Grand River locations with the material. Admisson to the event was free and donations j CHATRAND-BURKE were accepted for the Friends of the TONY EnvironmentFoundation. PICTURE:

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26 October 5, 1994 • The Cord • Entertainment Breeding Ground Pt. I

SELENE MACLEOD funk, and Latin styles with humourous lyrics Cord Entertainment ("Mrs. Potato Head, why don't you love me To tell you the truth, I didn't really want to instead") and unusual subject matter ("Not cover the Breeding Ground Compilation CD very many people sing about flatulence!"). release party (the Volcano, Sept.29), due to Kinda 80s, too. Maybe it's the haircuts. sheer exhaustion and the fact that Cliff They've got available discs, too. Erickson was playing. But, I'm really glad 1 The Fat Cats headlined. They're kind of went. It supports a good cause, the local local celebrities, so many of you have seen original-music scene, and it was a very enter- them already. For those of you who haven't taining night. seen them yet, they're kinda country, kinda Unfortunately, I missed the openers, blues, kinda psychedelic, and veiy good. I Blackwater Draw. I've heard good things was wiped out by then, so I could only man- about their original music, but when I saw age three or four songs, but had 1 the time... them last, they were playing covers, and that Anyway, go see them, next time. They're gave me an unfair bias toward them. well worth the price of admission. However, their contributions to the Breeding I did manage to talk to Pat Lackenbauer, Ground CD were promising, and I'd like to head of Hole in the Wall Enterprises and give them another chance. Maybe I'll get to mastermind behind the Breeding Ground see them again sometime. compilation. This year's edition is the sec- The second act was Sweet William. ond installment, and features the above Comprised of Lisa Sawatsky on guitar and bands, as well as the Outcasts, the vocals, and Sarah Lichti on vcx-als (plus some Longfellows, and Quiverleg. irregular members), their sound is compara- The local original-music scene is a ble to the lovely folk of say, Sarah McLachlan strong one, and deserving of more attention. or an ethereal Indigo Girls. But that's too "I'm tiying to keep the whole thing local". easy. They blend sweet vocal harmonies By that, Lackenbauer means the bands, the with simple guitar melodies, creating atmos- artwork, most of the recording and prcxluc- pheric mood music. They're planning a tion, etc: "I'm trying to do a history (of the demo release in the winter, so you might region's music)". want to check them out yourself. The Breeding Ground compilation, Ix)th Friends of Stu played next. They're kind volumes, is available at all local record of hard to describe, definitely weird, and a stores, and the second part of the release whole lot of danceable fun. The band plays party is at the Volcano, October 6. Support music that combines elements of ska, reggae, the local scene. Mr. "Don't Hurl" Kebob

KEVIN CLAY Other goodies include Falafel, Kebobs, Doner window, those funky 3-D pictures that will service were good. One word of advice to Mr. AND SHAWN WINDSOR burgers, and chicken nuggets. fuck up your vision for life, and friendly well Doner though (we suspect that's not his real Gurus of Grease We chose to indulge in the $3.99 Doner equipped staff. Overall, the food, prices, and name), lose the sandwich. I ley, looking for something new and exciting combo ($4.14 after discount and BST), con- to cram down your freakin' cake-hole? Mr. sisting of a Doner burger, fries, and a medium Doner Kebob invites you to "Come in and drink just the right size to whet your whistle. A NlifCjMl feast your eyes on our Doners and Combos." We didn't ask, but we are positive that they TfleePKY I lowever, we found it will clip the whole mess more exhilarating to in grease for no extra feast our eyes on the charge. We also chose week-old breakfast to sample the Chicken * sandwich sitting on Kebob in a Pita which eWa 6 the front counter. will run ya' a few beans Mr. Doner Kebob (we can't really remem- xvSS*^i2LZl is located on ber). University Ave. just Mr. Doner also east of Regina. Laurier offers an all clay break- students will be fast sandwich for $1.99, delighted to learn that which is on proud dis- Mr. Doner gives you play on the counter. 10% off your feast o' Upon inquiry, we were grease with your student card. pleased to learn that the sample is replaced Mr. Doner Kebob offers a potpourri of hot once per week. Lord only knows what they mi eats and cool treats to suit even the most dis- do with old one. Perhaps it is thrown out, raf- criminating palate. Of course, the specialty of fled off, or served up to some unsuspecting ■BPP is the Doner, which is several plltz. the house slices * of meat in a pita with your choice of fixins'. This establishment also spoils a drive-tlmi «B :*" 111 iflFiffdfc

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The Cord • Entertainment • October 5, 1994 • 27 HARD For Your CORD HardCord is a list ofentertaining things to check out around the Laurier environment Aural Stimulation... Liz Phair 1. People still purple from homecoming Whip-Smart Six to eight weeks! I thought it said six to eight washes. Matador 2. New music night at the Bombshelter every Tuesday Treble Charger, Smoother, and Gorp are playing October 4. liz Phair s 1993 debut "Exile in Guyville", with it's dirty little tunes like 3. The Lowest Of The Low have broken up "Fuck and Run"and "Flower" ("Every time I see your face I get all wet I guess they're even lower now. between my legs"), had the U.S. indie-iock press collectively curled into 4. Thanksgiving little balls under their desks, kicking and squealing in joy like copulat- Thanks for the extra money, thanks for the laundry, thanks for the real fcxxi, thanks ing pigs. Even more amazingly, "Guyville" snatched the 1993 "Album for the train ticket... of the Year" position away from "In Utero'"s waiting, greedy little hands 5. The Italian club in both the Spin and Village Voice magazines.

You don't have to be Italian to join and Mary Grace is making dinner - any questions? Now, with her sophomore release "Whip-Smart", Liz Phair is in a 6. Beavis and Butthead are back on Much very enviable position: Rolling Stone has made her their newest darling, Huh huh huh huh hu huh Hard Cord is cool yeah cool, yeah. and the topic of this month's cover-story.

7. The Cord phone guide to Laurier - coming out soon In many ways "Whip-Smart" is a better album than her first. It's cer- tainly tighter than "Guyville" was, the songs are consistently good and 8. Spanking The Monkey, playing Oct 14-17 at the Princess never overstay their welcome. On her lead vocals, Phair warbles in The movie silly, not your rcx)mmate. and slightly out of tune, while her backup vocals generally stay in tune. 9. Courtney Love and Trent Reznor are fucking like animals (fact) This actually sounds much better than it may read, and the effect makes NOW who should be all apologies? her music more accessible by making her vocals sound personable. 10.Oktoberfest at the Aud I had to take Public Transit to downtown Kitchener before I found Where else can you find 1200 non-Germans wearing bells, singing like the this album; HMV didn't even have it on their upcoming releases list. Wehrmarcht on parade, gorging on sausage, drinking like fish, and dancing to polka Wherever you have to go, don't miss your chance to buy this album, it music? This is it. was well worth the $10.99 (plus 7% PST, 8% GST, and $2.70 bus fare). Killer soundtrack Trent Reznor of NIN works his dark magic on NaturalBorn Killers soundtrack TOM HRUBES dialogue excerpts (eg. the Madonna Speech). a match made in heaven (or hell, depending lately. Also included are songs from Dr. Dre Cord Entertainment More recently the "Forrest Gump" soundtrack on your point of view). What Reznor has and Snoop Doggy Dogg, both of whom have Movie soundtracks have been extremely pop- became a hot seller simply because it is filled assembled is a bizarre complement to the been the targets of the media circus that ular lately. Movie executives have discovered with the sort of bullshit nostalgia music that movie's blood and guts, MTV nation imagery. Stone pisses on throughout the movie. Lard's that a soundtrack full of popular bands will Time-Life tries to sell in those annoying It is slightly over 75 minutes long and con- "Forkboy" is another highlight of the sound- not only sell CDs but will also sell the movie. infomercials. Which leads us to the newest tains 27 tracks which range from short clips track. Lard is a collaboration between mem- "The Crow" soundtrack was an impressive entry in the soundtrack derby, "Natural Bom of dialogue to full length songs. bers of Ministry and Jello Biafra, singer for the compilation of "alternative" music while the Killers". The opening track "Waiting for the now-defunct Dead Kennedys. It is filled with "Above The Rim" soundtrack targeted rap This soundtrack was created under Trent Miracle" turned me into an instant Leonard the sort of irreverence and power chord audiences. Some soundtracks like "Reservoir Reznor's guidance. The combining of Oliver Cohen fan with its dark, soulful melody. crunching that you have come to expect from Dogs" became cult favourites because of the Stone's vision with Reznor's musical talent is Then, with no warning Reznor clubs you Al Jourgensen. over the head with L7's pummeling "Shitlist". Trent Reznor also uses some of his own Get used to it because the formula doesn't material for the soundtrack. He reduces change for the rest of the album. You can't "Something I Can Never Have" from "Pretty help listening to it with one finger nervously Hate Machine" to background music for a twitching on the volume knob. lover's quarrel between Mickey and Mallory The atmosphere created in this sound- while "A Warm Place" from"The Downward track gives even the cheerful songs a dark Spiral" remains fairly untouched. Also includ- edge. Bob Dylan's "You Belong to Me" might ed is a new song called "Burn" which sounds have been a heartwarming love song in the like a B-side from "Broken". While it does 60s, but in the context of the movie it carries contain a catchy synthesizer hook and the a thinly veiled threat. The dialogue clip at unnatural grinding sound you would expect the end of the song reinforces this feeling, as from NIN, it still sounds like it was thrown Wcx)dy Harrelson snarls "...and one of these together at the last minute. nights, I'll be coming for you." While this soundtrack contains no radio- Another highlight is the Peter Gabriel friendly singles to propel it to the top of the track. Those Peter Gabriel fans who have charts, it still deserves to be there. Anyone not heard the "Last Temptation of Jesus who saw the movie and appreciated its vis- 13 DRAFTS Christ" soundtrack which he composed will ceral imagery will appreciate this soundtrack. [wlwKkß be surprised by it's unconventional sound. Trent Reznor has created a bizarre listening Entitled "Taboo", it more closely resembles a experience that deserves to be die basis upon tribal chant rather than the remixes of which future alternative soundtracks are to be nights' "Sledgehammer" Gabriel seems to be writing judged. 7 a week Ellß^Ks9i!S^in?il

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28 October 5, 1994 • The Cord • Entertainment For Sale Students Providing Extra Ladies Fall and Winter cloth- O Oktoberfest Tickets Special Help (SPESH). There ing wanted for consignment. OPEN O - NOW University Night "The will be games, pizza, cards Recent styles only. Sweaters, AUi/' in Kitchener, and more. Contact Brian jeans, etc. Willowbank Thursday, October 13th. (883-9608) or Julie (746- Consignment Shop, 22 Tickets $10.00 including bus 5489) for more info. Bridgeport Rd E, Waterloo, to and from Laurier. Call Telephone: 725-1500, hours: 885-3462. Graduate Studies meeting for 11-5 3rd and 4th year students. Globe and Mail subscriptions CTB 4-201. Oct 18, 4:3opm. Wanted: Oktoberfest tickets available at 40% off the regu- for Saturday Oct. 15th at the lar rate. More info, at the Want to be on national tele- Aud. -Will pay cash- E-Mail Centre Spot. vision? STEB9B7O We need students to repre- IBM Correctible Typewriter, sent WLU in the K-W ARTISTS, PHOTOGRA- Excellent Condition, $75. Oktoberfest Parade on PHERS & WRITERS WANT- Neil, 888-6737. Please leave Monday October 10th. If ED! a message. interested please leave a Publisher seeking local talent message for the Oktoberfest for new magazine. Here's a Queen Size Waterbed, committee in the Students' real opportunity to have Excellent Condition, 3yrs Union. work published. Call Rob old, paid $500.00 Asking Shaw at 519-745-7608. tW Sl^^Hlm : ;? $&!&;• $200.00. Great sounding Canadian Mental Health Acoustic Guitar, $150, case Association Waterloo Personals included. C.D Player Dual Regional Branch Friends, a Blondie: The ice cream man Cassette System, 6 months service of CMHA needs vol- will be home this weekend old, paid $260.00 asking unteers: to melt all over you until the $140.00 All prices firm -to support children in one- wee hours of the morning. to-one relationships See Ya Then. Jobs - assist children in develop- Morty's. Morty's. Morty's. ing self esteem and social To all participants from last Morty's needs help cooking skills year's dance for heart com- big burgers and wings, and A child meets with their vol- petition. Your prizes are hostessing. Experience an unteer weekly during school available at the Phys. Ed asset. Apply in person at time to do social activities, office at 232 King St. Please Morty's at corner of King Urgently needed in schools see Stephen Wenn. >* SSw and University. throughout Kitchener Waterloo, Cambridge and Tina, Michelle and Liz, lam CAREER OPPORTUNITY area. Call 744-7645 Sven where do you want $ BILLION COMPANY JUST me? Miss Mow Poiw' Your laundry? ENTERING CANADIAN Wanted AND U.S. MARKETS. SEEK- WANTED: Cordless Phone, GET A CORD ING 3 KEY LEADERS TO Walkman and Dark Vertical CLASSIFIED AD! PIONEER THIS INCREDIBLE Blinds for Window, and EXPANSION OPPORTUNE Queen size Mattress and Only $0.15 per word for TY. LARGE INCOMES, Bedding (sheets, etc.) students RELAX COMMISSION, CAR AND CONTACT: Andrew, 884- BONUS PROGRAM. 0462 Only $0.20 per word for have a coffee UNSURPASSED SUPPORT non-students AND INCEN- TIVE. CALL "St Somewhere Students Save along the way, m JL 2 I you be K I 111 I ill Q V and | Ul | | || %Jp | need help. I Reach for

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The Cord • Classified • October 5, 1994 29 NEU STUDENTEN KUNST WE GOTS A MOOSE Flew in to St. John's one sunny day, Through Corner Brook and Grand Bay, Rented a car and was on my way. I searched for moose all the way. POETRY This mainlander was alone and on the loose, Drove back the same route that I had come, And I'd come looking for a moose. Hoping to see many, a few, perhaps even one! I toured around the Avalon, My fingers ready to count on hand, Archie Comics Not seeing one beast, were they all gone? But no moose did I spy in all the land. I often wonder about Archie Comics. stopped and asked a Belle Isle On my many stops along the way, I Guy, Is Jughead bitter because the comic is not named after locals him? Who, with a wink of his eye, All I heard the say, Will Veronica's Pad ever buy up the printing company? Said, "Aye B'y, we gots a moose." Was, "Aye B'y, we gots a moose." Can Moose read ahead so he knows what to do? Will Reggie ever learn that he is not that cool? grow of that Next I went to Marystown, Grand Bank and Terrenceville, Back to Cambridge I flew, (toes Archie's hair ever out checkerboard? Will Petty ever realize that if she puts out Searching my moose still. And decided to visit the Toronto zoo. for Archie is hers forever? With a smile upon my face, To Southport, Burnside and Glovertown, The drama. Oh the drama. But, sad to say, there were none around. I paid to enter at the gate. Yes, I often wonder about Archie Comics. On to Gambo, Gander and Grand Falls too, I said, "Aye B'y, you gots a moose?" But moose were missing from my view. With a knowing grin he looked my way, by Nlek Hok A logger with a knowing smile, And said, "Sorry, no moose today, Had me sit and chat for a while, John Crosbie said for the tourists he needs one on hand, And he said, "Aye B'y, we gots a moose." So we shipped the moose back to Newfoundland."

I went around the Dorset trail, Now it is true that no moose did I see, NSK INFO: Look! It's new art from actual stu- To Shoe Cove, Westport and Sops Arm, But just how lucky can one be? dents! This is the third exclamation point in a row! Mel, Nick, Rob, Dale, and the No moose, said I with growing alarm Next year to Twillingate, there I'll be, Thank-you to Lawrence, morbid Mad Poet. The last day for Gothic the sea, ever On to Deer Lake and up the Viking Trail, To view the great mammoths of Hallowe'en submissions is Friday October 21 at 2:3opm. Past Gros Morne, Plum Point and Englee, 'cause I heard and it's no tale, Please make it clear you're in it for the contest or I might as a regular donation. Ride the Again, no moose did I see. "Aye B'y, we gots a whale." just publish your story infobahn, hand-in a disk, or submit a hardcopy, but give A salty old fisherman at Raleigh, me your stuff. Your name, phone#, and ID, too.—AV42 Kindly looked and spoke to me, by Mel Beetham And said, Aye B'y, we gots a moose." Not an Ode Knotted Relations It's a new poem! A fresh expression! A place to start again! likes that treat him like i like him jimi i I had lost my way, could not find my vision. like i like him but doesn't like me for treating him Though, this can hardly be called insight. when i don't like him This lack of emotion, is a lack of movement. if i treated jimi like i liked him more, then jimi would like me more for treating him like i liked him I have lost my way, and often but...i don't treat jimi like i like him more only to experience pain and torture. because It is a horrible thing to have art bottled up, i don't like that he treats me like he treats me trapped, caged, and unexercised. only because i treat him like i like him. I must supply this with some sort of energy, If I could only tap the energy that is within, jimi doesn't like me for treating him like i like him when i don't then I know that this could be greatness. but i do like jimi for not liking me for not liking him. doesn't see i should like him for not liking me jimi why I wish this could be an ode, for not me i don't see why i should not like jimi liking I'm not sure I could write an ode, i don't see why i should like jimi or a sonnet, or a ditty, or a lyric, jimi doesn't see why he should not like me or an anything.

by dale wells Without the energy nothing can have form. The world is energy, the world is change.

Before the Storm The world I inhabit has none of these, no energy, no change, no sonnets and no lyrics. No one cared. lust a blackness that rots away at the core of an existence. A country was about to die. One hundred and twenty-seven years, If I could create, I create Gone. would movement. They no longer spoke the same language. If I could destroy, I would destroy stasis. Reform. Revolution If I could build, my product would be a better existence. Separation. Love If I could conquer, it would be that horrid oppression that hangs over me that I would enslave. But nothing was done. I love you. It was us. Nothing can stop that love. I have no power though, And them. All the pain means nothing. I am without pen or plough, United, It won't make the love go away. I have no tools, no machines of creation. They could stand. Sometimes 1 feel that I want to die. RAVINGS OF POET It is only this existence I have to work with, Divided, THE MAD Maybe then the pain would be gone. They were nothing at all. Or maybe it will be with me forever. this is what I have created. A lost soul, forever seeking Too bad for them. What it can never have. As new as things may be, The best country in the world? there has still been no change. No longer. the art is still trapped, cared, For no one even and this is not an ode. That a country was about to die. Forever yours, All was mysteriously calm, Tim Miller Before the storm. by Rob Bowyer

• 30■ October 5, 1994 • The Cord NSK SHORT SHORT STORY: THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GARDEN by Lawrence Hammond

"I don't eat meat," said Raoul with disdain. Well that sounds exciting. Whatsit like?" asked the accountant with genuine interest. The broccoli did not understand the situation, nor could it. A well-grown vegetable like himself was not expected to have to face the intrica- cies of fauna social behaviour. In fact, the whole conversation seemed rather bizarre to the broccoli. It sat on the plate next to the carrots and the peas and the corn, across rom the and roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. What was a decent earth-loving vegetable like himself doing cut off from it's roots and associating with the likes of carrots? Further more, the fact that two pale creatures with short tufts of silk on top, were discussing his imminent consumption... Well! It was not what his seed had sprouted him for! Well, haven t you ever noticed that fruits and vegetables have more flavour to them than meat?" Raoul asked as he poked at the slab of meat on the plate before him with obvious distaste. Well, yes. Of course I have, responded the accountant as he brushed his dangling tie off the peas on his plate, "but I never really cared for the taste of vegetables much. prefer the relative monotony of a well-done slice of pot roast. Pardon the I non-sequitur, but is it just me or is it easier for you to eat while wearing a bow tie, as well?" The accountant picked a pea off It served the pea right! Filthy fruits! Always sending out their roots, trying to monopolise the water. Now it would end up forgotten and left to shrivel on the barren and lifeless floor. The broccoli felt a little better, although still quite distressed. As they spoke, one of the pale crea- tures bored a metal instrument with several sharp thorns into the broccoli's stem. Would you be terribly offended if told you that hadn't noticed any problem with ties before?" asked Raoul, about to bite the top off his broccoli. I I No, no. Of course not," answered the accountant, always accommodating. Raoul was silent for a moment, then said "Well, yes, actually." "Yes what?" asked the perplexed accountant through a mouthful of bloody cow flesh. Yes? Yes what? The broccoli was having a hard time following the conversation. It was much more complex than conversations with corn, but then again, what wasnt? Perhaps it was the thorns in his stem upsetting his concentration, thought the broccoli. "I agree that bow ties are more permissive to eating." said Raoul. thought you said that you hadn't noticed the problem before," said the accountant, after swallowing the large wad in his mouth and wip- ing the juiceI off his chin. "No. I only asked if you would be offended if I said otherwise. By the way, I find that tie to be in rather poor taste," said Raoul. "Well I'm afraid do find that remark slightly offensive," said the accountant. "I wish you had asked me if I would be offended by that remark before you made it." I I m terribly sorry for my poor etiquette. Will you accept my apology?" Raoul was genuinely embarrassed by his faux pas. Fie replaced the broccoli on his plate and offered his hand to the accountant in repentance. The accountant rejected it. No, I m afraid that I can not accept your apology. Your behaviour this meal has been a constant evaluation of my inaptitudes, and I'm afraid that the wound will never heal," said the accountant. "Well, I'm terribly sorry to hear that," said Raoul. The two men left the restaurant, never to see each other or their untouched meals again. Broccoli was about to comment to the corn, but then decided that he would rather stay silent, skewered on a metal thorn, than converse with a vegetable from the other side of the garden.

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The Cord • Sports • October 5, 1994 • 31 There must be some way to avoid doing the same thingfor the next forty years. You'll be getting your degree from a top school. And you're ready to find a great job. The question is: which job? And can it interest you for your whole career? ® CO At Andersen Consulting, it's our job to help clients do what they do. § Only better. For you, that means opportunity and challenge. | CD 3 Part of our business is anticipating Antoedcitm i the future. So come talk to us about /vNUcKdcN | yours. Find out more about a career with C_.ONSUtXING I Andersen Consulting. I ARTHUR ANDERSEN & CO., S.C. J o

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