245335 Truth in Mirror

1 self-image AS HE THINKS IN HIS HEART, SO IS HE. —PROV. 23:7, NKJV —PROV. 23:7, NKJV SO IS HE. AS HE THINKS IN HIS HEART, self-image 1 When God created Adam and Eve, they were comfortable in their skin, literally and figuratively. Even though they were naked, they felt no shame or embarrassment before God or each other. They were transparent and real without fear of rejection (Gen. 2:25). But things changed after they ate the forbidden fruit. Their eyes were opened, and they became uncomfortably self-aware and fearful. Instinctively, they knew to hide from God and from each other. In explaining the act of eating the forbidden fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they projected their guilt, blaming their actions on others. Adam blamed Eve and God, telling God that it was the woman He gave him who made him eat it. Eve blamed the serpent. God knew their self-consciousness was the result of their sin (Gen. 3:1-13). Adam and Eve had healthy, real self-images until the Fall. Up until that time they were unashamed, secure, cooperative, and complete. They didn’t wonder if they were good enough; they felt accepted by God and each other. After the Fall, they became ashamed, self-focused, blaming, competitive, and insecure. They were aware of their physical, emo- tional, and spiritual nakedness and their need to cover themselves. They were suddenly concerned with what the other person was thinking, and their relationship was based on power struggles, competition, and pain. They felt inadequate and guilty before God (Gen. 3:14-24). Like Adam and Eve, we often feel inadequate and ashamed. We hide our true selves from others because of the fear of being known. Our relationships are imperfect and imbalanced. We don’t see ourselves as we really are. Instead, “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror” (1 Cor. 13:12). In the apostle Paul’s day, mir- 14 self-image rors weren’t of the quality we have today. They were made of bronze rather than glass, and even the best ones reflected imperfect and unclear images. Paul reminds us that in our temporal and sinful state our perception is flawed, but that someday we will un- derstand things fully. Part of that complete understanding will be in the way we see ourselves and others, our understanding of the value of each of us as God’s creation, the wonder and perfection of our uniqueness, and the part each of us plays in God’s big story. Al- though we won’t have a perfectly real image of ourselves in this world, we can strive to gain a more correct image that is more closely aligned with the way God intended us to see ourselves. Terms associated with self-image include self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-examination, self-preservation, and self- respect. Each of these describes an aspect of what you think, perceive, or feel about yourself. As we look at each one of these more closely, you’ll see that feeling good about yourself isn’t the same as being a “lover of self.” SELF-IMAGE Your self-image began to form when you were born. It evolved to include awareness of your body, abilities, personality, looks, intelligence, feelings, values, and power. Your self-image continues to change throughout your life and is greatly influenced by your interactions and experiences. An image is the representation of something that is supposed to be a likeness of the original. Image can be a mental perception or an actual object, such as a photograph or drawing. Your image of yourself is who you perceive yourself to be, who you present yourself to be to others, and who you think others perceive you to self-image 15 be. Self-image includes your assessment of yourself: your talents, personality, achievements, physical attributes, and behavior. It also includes a perception of your essence—or soul. Your self-image may be accurate or inaccurate. It may be in- flated, leading you to believe that you’re more than you are; or it may be deflated, leading you to believe that you’re less than you are. Your image might be damaged because of hurtful things others have said to you. Your self-image can be a reflection of society’s values and standards to which you compare yourself. Your self-image may be stained by memories of past failures and regrets because of missed opportunities. Or it can be real—a reflection of the truth about who you really are—transparent and honest. The image you hold of yourself is a product of your past experiences and current interactions with others, society’s standards and values, and your beliefs about yourself. God’s ideal is for you to project the image of Jesus Christ as well as the unique image He created you to bear. SELF-WORTH Your sense of self-worth is measured by the value you place on yourself. It is calculated by some type of measuring stick—your values, God’s values, society’s values, other people’s values, or a combination of all these. How do you measure your worth? Do you feel persons are worth more if they’re productive, accomplished, beautiful, rich, a cer- tain age, powerful, or popular? Are others worth less if they’re uned- ucated, unattractive, handicapped, poor, or mentally ill? Do you value one race over another? Your first response is probably to answer, “Everyone is equally valuable, because God created all of us and 16 self-image loves us all the same.” Do you really feel that way? Dig deeper. These subjective values are often subtle—and we all have them. What is there about you that you’re glad you possess? Looks, money, position, influence, intelligence, or talents? What do you not possess that you wish you had? What do you envy in others? When you compare yourself to others, what causes you to feel either inferior or superior? These are probably the measuring sticks you use to determine your worth and the worth of others. The American culture has established itself in the work ethic. Americans value productivity and accomplishment. That’s not wrong in and of itself, but it does spill over into the way we value ourselves. As a result of the work ethic, we may value accomplishment, success, and material worth more than we value virtues such as honesty, good character, and spiritual maturity. The value we place on individuals is often determined by a set of criteria. Look at the following list, and identify which of these distinctives you use to determine worth. ¼ Physical appearance ¼ Education ¼ Ethnicity ¼ Intelligence ¼ Personality ¼ Money ¼ Possessions ¼ Occupation ¼ Goodness ¼ Popularity ¼ Fame ¼ Success self-image 17 ¼ Talents ¼ Relationships ¼ Productivity ¼ Achievement ¼ Influence, power, or who you know ¼ Approval from others ¼ Age If you have trouble determining upon which of these you base your value, consider which of these if lost would cause you to feel bad about yourself and which ones you admire in others. None are wrong to possess or pursue, but if you base your self- worth on anything you do or have, you risk compromising your sense of self-worth when the thing you believe makes you worthwhile is un- achievable or lost. If you determine your worth by your looks, you’ll face a problem as you age and begin to lose your youthful beauty. If you determine your value by your actions, you’ll feel less worthy when you fall short of your ideal. It’s the same with achievements: When you fall short of what you consider significant or acceptable, or someone else does better than you, your self-worth may diminish. Grant was on top of the world at age 32. He had made it: CEO of a big company, a six-figure salary, a beautiful home, and a Jaguar. Grant felt good about himself until he lost his job, his home, and a year later, his wife. His self-worth plummeted. We also tend to judge our own worth by comparing ourselves to others. But worth is always subjective when based on a compari- son and causes you to feel either inferior or superior. To God, our worth is constant and unchangeable, and it’s rooted in the fact that we’re each His unique and valuable creation, valuable enough that He sent His Son to die for each of us (Rom. 5:8). 18 self-image SELF-ESTEEM The word “esteem” originates from a Latin word meaning “estimate.” Self-esteem is a first cousin to self-worth. It has to do with the value you assign to yourself, but it also includes the feelings you have about yourself. One who has poor self-esteem is one who has a negative opinion of himself or herself. Conversely, a person with good self-esteem is considered to have a positive opinion of himself or herself. Some of the trademarks of positive self-esteem are acceptance, joy, contentment, security, and confidence. Negative self-esteem is associated with feelings of rejection, shame, self-loathing, embarrassment, self-pity, insecurity, and self-consciousness. Self-esteem matters because the more inferior one feels, the more he or she tends to focus on self and what others are thinking. This interferes with the ability to be real in relationships and to be all God has created you to be.

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