WHAT ABOUT ME” Seeking to Understand a Child’S View of Violence in the Family

Alison Cunningham, M.A.(Crim.) Director of Research & Planning Linda Baker, Ph.D. C.Psych Executive Director © 2004 Centre for Children & Families in the Justice System London Family Court Clinic Inc. 200 - 254 Pall Mall St. LONDON ON N6A 5P6 CANADA www.lfcc.on.ca [email protected] Copies of this document can be downloaded at www.lfcc.on.ca/what_about_me.html or ordered for the cost of printing and postage. See our web site for ordering information. This study was funded by the National Crime Prevention Strategy of the Ministry of Public Safety and Emergency Preparedness, Ottawa. The opinions expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of the National Crime Prevention Strategy or the Government of Canada. We dedicate this work to the children and young people who shared their stories and whose words and drawings help adults to understand Me when the violence was happening Me when the violence had stopped T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S Dedication ................................................................... i Table of Contents ............................................................ iii Acknowledgments .......................................................... vii Definitions ................................................................. 6 Nominal Definition Operational Definition Which “Parent” was Violent? According to Whom? When was the Violence? Why is Operationalization Important? Descriptive Studies Correlational Studies Binary Classification The Problem(s) of Binary Classification Potential Solutions National Longitudinal Survey of Children and Youth Program Evaluation The Program The Referrals/Clients The Comparison The Implementation The Outcomes Conceptual Framework: Seek to Understand ..................................... 30 Best Evidence A Child’s-Eye View Each Child has a Unique Vantage Point on Shared Experiences Each Child has a Different Family Role vis-à-vis the Violence A Developmental Framework for Understanding Models of Differential Impact Coping Strategies in Homes with Violence It’s all Bad: The Gestalt of Family Violence Gender Analysis -iii- The Adversity Package Corollary Stresses of Inter-parental Violence Abuse Overlap Inter-correlated Co-occuring Adversities Dose-response Relationship Ecological Context First do no Harm Risk Assessment and the Ecological Fallacy Developmental Appropriateness Pre-Natal Stage ............................................................ 55 Violence During Pregnancy Correlation with Adverse Pari-Natal Outcomes Hypothetical Impact on Development Implications for Intervention Screening in Health Care Settings Eliminate Abuse Ameliorate Inter-correlated Adversities Home Visitation Programs Professional Training Infants and Toddlers ........................................................ 59 Violence in the Post-partum Period Child Maltreatment Hypothetical Impact on Development Implications for Intervention Eliminate Abuse Ameliorate Family Adversities Support the Caregiver to Support the Child Home Visiting Programs Child Care Placement Professional Training Visitation Programs Fathering Programs Pre-schoolers .............................................................. 64 Hypothetical Impact on Development Expression of Emotion -iv- Salience of Observation and Conflicting Messages Focus on Outcome Ego-centricity and Self-blame Gender Roles Delay or Regression in Development of Independence Coping Strategies Implications for Intervention Eliminate Abuse Ameliorate Family Adversities Support the Caregiver to Support the Child Child Care Placement Professional Training Visitation Programs Fathering Programs One-on-One Therapy School-age Children ......................................................... 76 Hypothetical Impact on Development Rationalizations of Violence Emphasis on Fairness Impact on Academic Performance Peer Relationships Gender Differences Coping Strategies Implications for Intervention Eliminate Abuse Ameliorate Family Adversities Support the Caregiver to Support the Child School Support Training for Professional Groups Visitation Programs Fathering Programs Child-focussed Assessment and Intervention Adolescents ............................................................... 89 Adolescents and Domestic Violence Hypothetical Impact on Development Coping Strategies Implications for Intervention -v- Eliminate Abuse Ameliorate Family Adversities Support the Caregiver to Support the Child School Support Training for Professional Groups Youth-focssed Assessment and Intervention Peer Support Overall Implications for Intervention ........................................... 99 Eliminate Abuse Ameliorate Other Adversities and Family Challenges Encourage Effective Parenting Holistic Intervention with the Child Assessment: First Seek to Understand Beware the Ecological Fallacy One Size Fits All? “A Bad Past Doesn’t Mean a Bad Future” References Cited .......................................................... 113 Appendix A ............................................................... 121 -vi- A C K N O W L E D G M E N T S We extend our genuine gratitude to the National Crime Prevention Centre of Canada and especially Lucie Léonard, who helped shape this project in the early stages and continued with faith, support and patience until its completion. Their orientation to crime prevention through social development is both informed and compassionate. We are proud to contribute to their efforts to build a safer Canada where each child can achieve her full potential free of criminal victimization, discrimination, or economic adversity. Few researchers have the luxury of being able to collect and read over 400 sources of information on one topic. This funding provided the unique opportunity to take stock and view that body of knowledge critically and through the lens of service providers. We have advanced some observations and recommendations for the next steps. We thank especially Antonia Marroquin-Ponce and Tim Kelly of Changing Ways and Shelley Yeo and Kate Wiggins of Second Stage Housing, Women’s Community House, who helped advertise this study among women who might be interested in participating. Here at the Centre, we have benefited greatly from our colleague Peter Jaffe who is a pioneer in this field. His ground-breaking work on children exposed to violence has led the way, working to bring the largely invisible plight of these children into the light. Andrea Finlay assisted with the collection of articles and Irene Deschêes helped organize the enormous bibliography of material collected. As always, Karen Rhiger works diligently, and indispensably, behind the scenes supporting us and the Centre. Finally, we acknowledge the tremendous contribution of the women and children who shared their stories and drawings to help us and others understand better. We sincerely hope that the observations made here will stimulate a dialogue to advance our collective efforts on behalf of women and children affected by violence. They deserve our best efforts. Alison Cunningham Director of Research & Planning Linda Baker Executive Director -vii- “WHAT ABOUT ME” Seeking to Understand a Child’s View of Violence in the Family Two-year-old Ameer is crying as his father orders him to hit his pregnant mother in the stomach. She squirms to avoid the toddler’s feeble blows but eventually shoves him away. She is crying too and his father is yelling, angry that his mother called 911 last night during a violent argument. When the police arrived, his mother minimized the situation and no charges were laid. Ameer does not understand this, but his father is promising to call the Children’s Aid Society if his mother calls the police again, to tell them she hit Ameer. They will take her children, both Ameer and his nine-month-old brother, he threatens. His father works long hours in the family business and often comes home drunk. His mother speaks little English, is a landed immigrant because of her husband’s sponsorship, and has no family in Canada. Her husband’s family visits periodically to make sure she is home. She has no social supports, no access to a car, and the growing family lives in a tiny two-bedroom apartment. Six months later, neighbours call the police during a loud argument and, despite his mother’s pleas, Ameer’s father is arrested as Ameer watches. In the months that pass as the case slowly winds it way through the court system, Ameer is sad and confused about why his father doesn’t come home. Four-year-old Brenda is watching television with the volume turned up, trying to ignore the loud argument between her parents in the kitchen. Suddenly, her mother walks into the den and tells Brenda they are going to spend the night with Grandma. Her father protests and pushes his wife down onto the couch next to Brenda. “I told you that if you ever did that again you are outta here,” his mother yells defiantly. As she pretends to call 911, Brenda’s father storms out and drives away. Her parents divorce and Brenda moves with her mother to a smaller house in a different area. Her father is supposed to visit every second weekend but often doesn’t show up. For six months, he doesn’t come at all because of a prison sentence for impaired driving. Twelve-year-old Charity has fallen asleep in school again. Her teacher sends her to the principal who asks if anything is wrong at home. Charity weighs her options. Sometimes she imagines living in another family. Her father is strict and all five children must follow the rules or they are punished.

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