"Shadows" — Rob Copier A Magazine of the Arts Published by the Students of Grand Rapids Junior College

—Elsa McFarland Staff

Fiction editors Carolyn Hoskin Barbara Saunier

Poetry editors Pam Barber Bette Battaglia

Freshman English editors Janice Smith Monica Miklusicak

Art Editors Sue Rose John Firlik

Art Advisors Glenn Raymond Joyce Kennedy

Advisor Walter Lockwood

—Sandra Wilson Contents

Cover Photography / Rob Copier 1 Art / Elsa McFarland 2 Art / Sandra Wilson 4 Photography / Mark Kukulski 5 The Journey Up / Stan Ward 5 Lissen Ah Got Tah Run / Stan Ward 6 The Decision / William J. Bolen 10 Photography / Rob Copier 11 Untitled / Alan Christopher 11 Untitled / Chris Lugtigheid 11 9/17/76 / Margie Derks 12 Madya and Nikolai / Carolyn Hoskin 13 Photography / Mark Copier 15 Ceremonies And Other Lies / Bette Battaglia 15 Skinny Dipping / Bette Battaglia 15 Winter She's Coming / David Flink 15 Stalemate / Heather Hayes Damp 16 Art / Dan Sharp 16 Art / Michelle Berg 17 Art / David Pharms 17 Art / Karen L. Vogel 18 Art / Mark Braendle 19 Art / Jim Marshall 19 Art / Cheryl Williams 20 Art / Michelle Berg 20 Art / Sue Rose 20 Art / Carol Bigler 21 Art / Dan Sharp 21 Art / Paul Skiff 22 In The Woods / Bob Everett 23 Children Selling Flower Seeds / Diane Ohman 24 Photography / Mark Copier 24 April / Ethel Smothers 25 Sunday Emergency / Cliff Bloom 26 How To Make A Girl Hope You'll Never Ask Her Out Again / Bob Wittland 26 Mercury and Me / Craig Michael Utter 27 A Smile / Cecil Tyson 27 Worlds / Elizabeth Emerick 28 Photography / Rob Copier 29 Lucky / John Helderop HI 31 The Oak And I / Stan Ward 31 Furrowed Fields / Stan Ward 31 Christmas Request — From A Journal / Diane Ohman 32 The Melon Patch / Heather Hayes Damp 34 Affluence / Pat Burress 35 Photography / Mark Kukulski 36 Bacchante In The Horse Latitudes / Susan Siddel 36 14th Street / Dale Dennie Back Cover Art / Tom Czarnopys -Mark Kukulski LISSEN AH GOT TAH RUN (uj Sim Wand

Lissen tah da cock a crowin a bran new sun Lissen tah da boss a callin Ah got ta run Lissen tah ma stomach growlin nutin tah eat Lissen tah da flies a dyin from too much heat

Lissen a man's a moanin, mus be ole Joe Lissen a whips a crackin, he work too slow Lissen da whistles blowin, stop n res Lissen ole Joe's a breathin wid heavy ches

Lissen tah da boss a countin dis mornin's toll Lissen tah da boss a cussin cause Joe's too old Lissen tah da wada splashin as dey pass da bucket Lissen tah da boss slap Joe, he jus smile and tuck it THE JOURNEY UP Lissen tah da boss a gruntin as he beat ole Joe Lissen tah ole Joe moanin, he can't tak much mo (uj Stow Wand Lissen tah his chillin cryin as dey hide dey eyes Lissen tah da whistle blowin but Joe don't rise

Down long gray trails of Lissen tah da stalks a snappin as dey drag Joe way Broken down sidewalks Lissen Yall got tah work harder da boss man say He ran. Careful not to Lissen tah da boss man cussin he don't like our smell Step on the cracks. Lissen tah da men a gruntin as dey work lak hell He crushed through knee high Lissen tah da whistle blowin, da day is dun Grass and prickle burrs Lissen tah da men a thankin da settin sun To get across the tracks. Lissen tah da precha talkin bout po Joe Brown Down through dark alleys Lissen tah his family a wailin as dey lay Joe down Filled with dilapidated dreams Lissen tah da precha sayin Joe didn't do much sin And broken bottles of wine Lissen tah him beg sweet Jesus tah let Joe in He ran, on the tongues of trusting Friends to be the first in line. Lissen tah da people talkin as dey walk away Lissen tah da people sayin hard work don't pay But on crowded streets of Lissen tah da bed bugs crawlin, sleepin is tuff Slick fingered clerks in long nosed Lissen tah ma mind a sayin AH GOT TAH RUN SHO NUFF Cars, he felt alone. And in the herd of well dressed Lissen tah da cock a crowin a bran new sun Men with two-way tongues, and Lissen tah da boss a callin AH GOT TA SHO NUFF RUN Three-way wives, he had no home. Lissen tah ma stomach growlin nutin tah eat Lissen tah ma feet a dragin too much heat.

Lissen a man's a moanin, mus be ole Lee Lissen a whips a crackin, he too blind tah see. THE DECISION by WMm % Bctew

I'll never forget that day back in September of 1940. On Maybe I would stop back later. There wouldn't be many that particular morning Shep and I were going fishing. more fishing days left, and I had a feeling of anticipation Shep was a large, black and grey German shepherd, and as about this one. Shep was running along beside the wagon usual he trotted on ahead as though he knew where we and poked his head in the doorway to bark a greeting to were going. Big Jack, then trotted off down the road ahead of us. As I walked down the gravel road, I watched the clouds We swung right and down a hill. The mighty team with moving across the sky, pushed by a breeze that was cooled hooves slipping leaned back in their harness to hold the by early fall. Every few rods I would pick up a chucking heavy load that bore down on them. Their lathered flanks sized rock and lob it at a flock of sparrows that would fly glistened and rippled, and they snorted their deter­ on ahead and land on the road fence again to jabber and mination not to be overrun. Near the bottom of the incline scold. the driver loosened the reins and the team suddenly In those days every day was an adventure. I was 12 galloped on ahead of the careening wagon load that years old, with hair the color and texture of a fist full of pursued them, their eyes wide with excitement. I bounced straw. The only thing I wore was a faded and patched pair about on my high perch, grasping for a hand hold and of bib overalls, over a body that was thin as a wire fence. found none. I was resigned to a long fall but we suddenly The only time I wore shoes was when there was snow on slowed and the team once more strained to move their the ground, so my feet were as tough as boot leather. burden. I nervously glanced at the driver to see if he had A wagon came clanking by on iron rimmed wheels. I ran seen my plight, but only the back of that ragged straw hat along behind it, hopped on, and scrambled up on a load of showed, and I was strangely relieved. oats in bulging burlap bags. The houses were smaller down here near the river and "Morning," I called to the farmer sitting hunched over set close to the fences that separated them from the road. at the front of the load. The frayed and sweat stained Morning glories in shades of pink and blue clung to the straw hat he wore nodded in silent reply. A team of huge lattice of their small porches, the heart shaped leaves dapple grey horses strained at the heavy load, with necks hiding the unpainted wood. Sometimes the river stole over arched and nostrils flared. its banks and surrounded the little houses during the We bounced down the rough road with the clatter of spring run off, and subsided to leave a sea of rippled mud loose wagon boards and jingling harnesses. Just ahead a that smelled of rotting fish. weather beaten sign read, "Pinkerton - Pop. 103". The The road squeezed through a weather beaten covered road curved sharply to the left and was lined by tall maple bridge. It was cool and dark inside and the hoof beats trees, their green leaves tinted with gold. Rows of neatly thundered on the rutted planks. The load was so high I painted houses with large verandas stood behind white had to duck my head going through. picket fences, looking formal in their black shutters. Immerging into the brightness on the far side, I heard The general store stood on the left, where everything Shep barking excitedly. I looked ahead to see him circling from buggy whips to penny candy was sold. On rainy days a derelict so ragged that it had to be Shack Lewie. Shack when the farmers gathered here, I would listen to them Lewie kept turning and watching Shep with red and yellow swap stories for hours. We sat on crates and barrels, eyes. His boots were tied with binder twine and black toes enshrouded in pipe smoke while the aroma of bulk spices, poked out over soles that flopped loosely. The two buttons smoked chubs and sausage made your stomach feel small. left on his sweater fastened a group of holes together and A handful of soda crackers and a generous slice of cheese his stained pants were held up by a knotted piece of rope. to snack on cost two cents, and a cup of cider right out of A droopy old cap balanced on his ears over a dirt covered the barrel was a penny. We munched and sipped while the face gave him the appearance of a withered mushroom. older men told tales of exciting events that had changed The other kids all said that he could cast a spell on you by their lives, and old Mr. Cramm, the storekeeper, always carving a stick doll that looked like you and then poking had to chase me on home at supper time. pins in it until you finally died of the awful pains it gave Across the road the familiar ring of sledge on anvil came you. from the open door of the blacksmith shop. Big Jack would Frantically I cried out, "Here Shep. Leave Mr. Lewie be working in the glow of the forge with arms bulging and alone. Get on with you now. Do you hear?" Shep was glistening. For an instant I was undecided whether to go enjoying himself and wouldn't pay attention. In in and earn a penny or two sweeping up, or to go fishing. desperation I dug into my pocket for something to throw at him. My hand closed on a pyrite stone that I had carried turned over a log and found a fat, red worm for a bait. Then for weeks. As we drew alongside I threw the glistening standing on a huge rock at the water's edge and using a stone from my high perch on the wagon. The missile found drop line, I soon caught a minnow about five inches long. the mark and Shep let out a yelp and took off with his tail I had about a hundred feet of wrapping twine coiled on between his legs, looking bewildered. I screamed after him. the ground with a pike hook on the end. With the minnow "Damn you Shep, damn you!" on the hook I swung the string around like a lariat and Shack Lewie shuffled down the road with an alcoholic threw it out into the water about seventy-five feet along gait, looking back periodically. "Damn you to hell, Shack the lily pads. Lewie," I thought to myself. My heart beat a little faster as I drew the line back in The old farmer hadn't even turned his head during all hand over hand. On the third throw the line was jerked the commotion, but seemed to be deep in a world of his from my fingers, and I stood with my foot on a stick tied own. to the end of my line and breathlessly watched the loops Ahead the grist mill looked ancient in its cobweb lacing. disappear into the water. After about fifty feet of line went The giant water wheel turned slowly in rhythm to the out, it stopped. I waited nervously, knowing the pike was water splashing over it. The dust of grinding grain drifted out there in the dark water just holding the minnow in his out of the windows and settled on every bush and tree. The sharp toothed jaws before swallowing it. miller, looking like a sugared gingerbread man, met us at Shep had grown bored waiting and trotted off down the the loading dock. river bank to do some exploring. "Feels like a storm coming up," he called. "We better I clenched the line tightly in moist hands and my body get you on your way so the chop don't get wet." I slid was warm in anticipation. Suddenly the line streaked into down the load and hopped to the ground as they began to the water, hissing as it went. I pulled hard with both unload the heavy bags. "Good-day," I called to them. The hands to set the hook. The twine slipped through my miller waved and the farmer nodded. fingers, burning the flesh as it went. I grabbed the stick I Shep stood a short distance away looking uncertain. stood on as the slack went out of the line, and I was jerked "Come on, Shep, here boy," I called. He came bounding to headlong into the cold water. Gasping and splashing, I me, forgiving me that instant for hitting him with the rock struggled to keep from being pulled in deeper. I thought and not knowing why I had done it. the line would break as I strained against my hidden I walked along the mill race watching the little whirl­ adversary. Clawing at the mud at the water's edge with pools form in the rushing water. I had heard that a boy fell fingers and toes, I crawled onto the grass and looped the in there once and they found his body wedged in the water line around a small tree. wheel at the mill several days later. I sat shaking and watching the line tighten and go slack A smooth, barkfree stick became my sword and I time after time as my giant fish circled and fought to gain charged my enemy, a group of scotch thistles. I slashed freedom, and still the line held. Finally in triumph, I stood and stabbed, defeating them single handedly and, satisfied up and shouted to the hills, "I got him, by gollies, I got with my bravery, I stood watching the thistle down float him." "Him, him, him," echoed back to me, followed by on the breeze, higher and higher and finally out of sight. the rumble of thunder. I walked on and came to the edge of the millpond. The I looked up and saw that the clouds had grown thicker smooth water reflected the reds and golds of the sumac and were moving faster. "I better get this old boy to and sycamores on the other side. The dam that formed the shore," I muttered to myself. pond was about a hundred feet across, and the water fell Taking the line again in my hands, I drew it in slowly as about twelve feet into a churning rapids below. An aging it moved back and forth in the water. Suddenly the line catwalk of water-logged boards hung precariously over the went limp. Had I lost him? I drew the line in as fast as I falls, enabling a person of some acrobatic ability to cross could. It fell in a tangled pile at my feet. Again the line was from one side to another. torn from my grasp. I leaped on the pile of string, catching The mist from the falls rose about me as I shuffled as much as I could as the slack went out and pulled tight. across the wet boards. "Come on, boy," I called over my The snarled string bit into my fingers, but I held tight as shoulder. "It's not bad today." Shep followed along with the water boiled and churned and finally subsided. his head low, whining his disapproval. Cautiously I eased the monster to the shore where I could On the far side we followed the path along the pond see him. I was astounded. through the cedars. Shep jumped back as a big white "A muskie, a real muskie," I whispered in awe. He lay in tailed deer leaped from the thicket and trotted stiff necked the shallow water looking dark and sinister with tooth into the maples, balancing a beautiful set of antlers. A filled jaws gaping open and wide eyes staring. startled blue jay flew to a limb above us screaming, thief, Five foot of fighting muskie was more than I could hope thief, thief. Further on we watched a group of mallards to drag home so I quickly braided the string I could jabbering and splashing among the cattails. salvage into a reasonably strong cord. I tied the cord to It was about a mile from the dam to my favorite fishing the end of a stick. Forcing the stick and cord through my spot. The water was deep and moving slowly along a patch captive's gills and out of his mouth began another battle, of lily pads. The bank was low at the water's edge, and the but it was soon over and I tied the cord to a tree. grass grew thick between the clumps of white birches. I I stood back with my hands on my hips, satisfied that I had conquered the king of the river. "You'll just stay put between my toes covered the blood that had dried on them. now until I get back with some help," I said defiantly. The thought of a dry spot by the wood stove and Lightning flickered, outlining the dark clouds. The something warm to eat, quickened my pace. muffled rumble of thunder followed. The river was swollen and the water dark and frothy. "Here Shep, here boy," I called. "Darn dog. He picked a Branches and logs torn loose by the storm bobbed and fine time to go running off." rolled in the swift current, headed for the roar of the falls. I headed back down the path, calling as I went. Drooping leaves were dropping the last of the rain as we The wind whipped the tops of the tall maples, tearing off approached the dam. tinted leaves not yet ready to fall. Huge rain drops found I had never seen the water so high before in the fall. It their way through the heavy foliage and smacked the almost seemed heaped up in the middle. Part of the cat dusty ground. The crashing thunder became deafening walk was even under water. and shook the earth. Overcome with fear, I ran wildly "What do you think boy?" Should we chance it? It will through the woods. Black clouds blotted out the light and save an hour's walk if we cross here." I could hardly see the branches that clutched at me as I Shep seemed undecided too, so I picked up a flat stone ran. Vines grasped my ankles and I stumbled and lurched and flipped it in the air. "Dark side we cross, light side we in my flight. Terrifying shadows surrounded me, then take the long way." disappeared in blinding flashes of lightning. "Dark side. Well, here goes nothing. Me first, then you The rain became a downpour, smashing through the Shep." I climbed gingerly down onto the catwalk. It was a leaves and splashing back up from the mud. The cold wind little unsteady with all that water pressure against it. I lashed me and I slipped and sprawled in the ooze. slid one foot out and drew the other one to it. Stumbling to my feet I staggered on, striking my toes "Boards are a bit slippery, Shep." against hidden rocks, I floundered and fell once more in Another step, then another. The murky water rippled the muck. The wind shrieked through the pines, and cones about my toes making them white and stiff with cold. I and bark pelted me as I lay sobbing and numb. shuffled on. The water pulled at my ankles. I curled my Shep's frantic barking and licking at my face and ears toes over the edge of the board for a better grip. The water brought me to my senses. I painfully struggled to my feet pulled harder and crept halfway to my knees. I turned and stood confused, not knowing which way to go. My dog slowly and looked back. Shep was running excitedly up barked encouragement and I followed him as though in and down the bank. The roar of the falls drowned out his some fantastic nightmare. barking. I finally knew where I was when that old wet dog led me "Poor Shep," I thought. "He could never make it over into a cave. Once inside, I collapsed against the rough here. He'll have to go the long way." wall, gasping for every breath. My teeth chattered and my I was halfway across and the water dragged at my hands shook as I tried to wipe the mud from my face. knees. "Too late to go back now," I muttered through Shep sat close to me and I embraced him, drawing clenched teeth. "Better not get any deeper." My toes warmth from his soaked body. "We never should have began to cramp. gone fishing today," I sobbed. "Grandma said we were in "Why did I ever try this fool stunt?" I sighed. for a storm because her bunion was throbbing, but I One foot slid off the board. My arms flailed the air, thought that was foolishness, and now look at us." fingers clutching at nothing. A scream froze in my throat, Shep whined in sympathetic agreement and tried to lick contained by a fear I had never known before. away the tears that left two clean streaks down my face. The water was rigid and launched me spread-eagled over My eyes became accustomed to the darkness and I the falls. Falling over and over I was swallowed up in the stared about my refuge. Jagged rocks and black shadows bellowing caldron and dragged into the rapids. Bouncing filled the depths, and hid the things that made rustling against boulders and over rocks, I fought to keep my head noises. I had never come in here before because I had heard high, grasping breaths of frothy foam. Twisting and that a mean old she bear with cubs made this her home. I turning, tumbling and rolling, I lost track of which way could swear I saw her beady eyes watching me from deep the surface was. Darkness enfolded me, cool and soft, in the cave, so I edged closer to the entrance. drifting in wingless flight. "I sure would give about anything for some warm, dry Suddenly pain racked my body. My stomach retching clothes now, Shep," I muttered. and my throat on fire. I convulsed for air. A tremendous Bats hidden in the darkness above squeaked to one pressure on my back drove the hot liquids from my body. another. Shep barked a warning as an enormous grey rat Wheezing and choking I lay, longing for that gentle scurried along the far wall, then turned defiantly, showing darkness. his teeth before disappearing. I was rolled over and rough hands held my head. The The rain had slowed to a sprinkle so I decided to head face staring down at me resembled a soft football with for home again. deep set bloodshot eyes, separated by a strawberry nose. "Come on boy, let's get out of here." One cheek was stretched over a cud of tobacco half as big The big dog liked the idea and dashed on ahead, as an egg. The only hair he had stuck out like peacock stopping to bark and encourage me to move faster. My feathers over a pair of huge ears. feet ached as I hobbled along, and the icy mud that oozed "Now that was a hell of a way to come visiting old Shack Lewie," he cackled. had value and was put here for a purpose." I had been afraid of him all my life but suddenly I began After hesitating for a moment, he asked, "Do you to laugh in spite of my misery. suppose my purpose was to pull you out of that river?" He cocked his head to one side like a puzzled puppy and We both sat quietly gazing at the flames flickering at said, "I do believe you're a bit looney from that swim you the vents in the old stove. I finally broke the silence. took. Lucky for you I was here on the bend when you "Mr. Lewie." washed by or you'd be fish food by now." "Huh?" Although he was nothing but loose skin and bent bones, "I was fishing this morning and I caught a muskie Lewie picked me up and staggered up the hill. bigger than me. I tied him up real good over by Taylors' "I'll take you to my place and fix you up a bit," he Grove. I sure would like to go and get him." puffed. "How you going to get over there in the shape you're His place was a shack made of cast offs from the nearby in?" saw mill; mostly bark trims nailed over a rough cut frame. "Would you help me, Mr. Lewie? It's about the most The inside was lined with cardboard and papered with wall important thing I've ever wanted." to wall calendars. The bed took up most of the one room Lewie mulled it over for awhile, then replied in his raspy and he plunked me in a pile of ragged blankets that voice. smelled like sweaty horses. "Tell you what we can do. You stay put and rest and eat "Let's get them wet britches off you and warm you a a bit. I'll go see if your grandma will let us use her old mare bit," Lewie mumbled with his rubbery lips. to ride over and get your fish." He took a couple of sticks from a pile along one wall and popped them in a crackling wood stove. I crawled out of "You think she'll let us go?" I asked, doubtfully. my coveralls and burrowed under the warm smelly "I expect she will," he answered confidently. blankets. With that, he filled a deep bowl with stew from an iron Lewie hung the soggy coveralls on a line over the stove, kettle on the stove and sawed a thick slice from a loaf of then took a couple of tin cups from a wall shelf. H e buckwheat bread. scratched something out of one with a grubby fingernail "You wrap yourself around that and I'll be back and as an after thought, wiped them out with a frayed red shortly," he said as he pulled his cap and sweater on. handkerchief that dangled from his back pocket. He took a "Catch a little shut eye too," he added as he went out the pinch of tea leaves from a can and dropped them in a door. battered teakettle that was already steaming. I wondered if the strange little things that floated From where I 9at it looked like Lewie could do almost around in that gravy would have tasted so good if I wasn't anything he had to without getting out of bed. near starved. Except for the bruises and the hide that I'd Satisfied that the tea was ready, he poured some in each lost, I felt much better after eating. cup. Then tenderly retrieving a crockery jug from the I wished I had the confidence that Lewie did that shelf, he added a little of its contents to the tea. Grandma would let us go after my muskie, but he just "There you are Sonny. That will warm your gullet," he didn't seem the type that could convince Grandma of any­ giggled as he handed the cup to me. The cup was hot in my thing. I fell asleep thinking it was a lost cause. hands and the steam from it made my nose run and my It seemed like only minutes until Lewie was back eyes water. I took a swallow as he watched me with those shaking me gently with a wide toothless grin on his face. red and yellow eyes. The hot liquid burned my tongue and "Come on, Buddy. Get these clothes on and let's get the fumes coming back up choked me. that fish." "What's your name, Sonny," he finally inquired. I pulled the shirt, coveralls and jacket on that Grandma "Buddy," I replied. had sent along. I could hardly believe it. "Buddy who?" "How did you talk her into it, Mr. Lewie? How did you "Buddy Campbell." do it?" "You a kin to Clara Campbell?" he asked. "She's my Grandma. I live with her," I said proudly. "It was the right thing to do Buddy, and your Grandma Mighty fine woman, mighty fine," he said, staring into has had a lot of practice at making the right decisions." space. "She's the only one in this whole damn town would The air felt sharp outside the warm shack. Lewie give me the time of day," he went on. "Why one time when boosted me up on the old mare and climbed up behind me. I'd been out all Saturday night on a toot, I fell out of my Every step that mare took hurt me someplace and I bit my buggy right in front of the church. It was just before lower Up to keep the tears back. We headed down through Sunday morning services. I couldn't get my feet under me the thornapple trees to the swale along the river, to make and I drew quite a crowd, but no one would give me a the ride a little easier. Red winged blackbirds flew up hand. No one, that is, but your grandma. She stepped up around us and circled us, angry at being disturbed. in her best Sunday dress, helped me out of the mud and "Mr. Lewie, why do you think I had so much bad luck somehow got me into my buggy and home to bed. The today?" next day when I woke up I thought it had been a dream, "I don't believe in luck," he mumbled. but Fred Gibb over at the saw mill told me that's how it "Then why did everything go wrong?" happened. I stopped by your place later to thank her for "You just made some wrong decisions. Your whole life is what she'd done for a worthless bum." changed by the decisions you make. Sometimes they even "You know what she said?" he asked, and went on. "She change other people's lives. Making the right decisions said I wasn't worthless. She said every creature on earth takes a heap of living and sometimes that don't help either. But listening to a little advice don't hurt none." "Isn't he something, Lewie?" We rode on in silence until we approached Taylors' "He sure is." Grove. "He's probably the biggest fish in the whole river." "Boy, I sure can't wait to get that old fish home," I "Probably is, Buddy." exclaimed. "I'm going to nail him to the bam door for "You got a knife, Lewie?" everybody to see. I think I'll leave him there forever." He handed me a bone handled jack knife. I opened it "Why?" he asked. slowly, almost hypnotized by the monster in front of me. "So everybody will know I caught him." Then quickly I bent and cut the lines that held him "What if you just told them?" captive. He was gone, quick as a darting shadow. After a "They might think I was lying," I said a little angrily. while I turned and handed Lewie his knife. "Does it matter what they think if they believe you're a "Do you think he might live a long time and father a lot liar?" of other muskies?" "What would you do?" I asked uncomfortably. "He might." "I don't want to make your decisions for you, but it just "I might even catch him again. Wouldn't that be don't seem right to nail the king of the river to the barn something?" door just to brag on." "It sure would." I crawled down from the mare and walked to the spot by Lewie gave me a hand back up on the mare and we the bank where my trophy lay, grey and black and shiny. turned and headed back toward home. I looked over my His tail swished back and forth in rhythm to his pumping shoulder to catch a glimpse of the ripple that headed out gills. into the lily pads.

"Morning" — Rob Copier

10 When 9/17/76 you drank from (uj WbnqU V&fo my cup of wine, I gaze from I thought vaulted window you at ground level would have down the empty road noticed, just as the sun that is fading I could not through the clouds. walk across the water, Softly, I tread as swiftly as the winding stair you, to the next level but and peering you upon the road again, didn't. I see in the distance And a rider even clad in black.

as He stares up at me you as I move on reach to the second floor. the other I can tell side, for his eyes glint why does with fire it not and his steed's nostrils matter, flare as though that he had traveled I'm a great way. sinking, sinking I do not wonder with the tide? at his coming. I only watch — ACow Ctotofibt as I climb on.

He draws nearer and as I reach to take his hand I realize with quiet curiosity that his horse has wings. foj Cftftid Luqiiafmd I mount My digital behind him clock holding securely clicks around his waist every minute and we soar But uses the into the ever deepening same night, numbers it now dotted round about doesn't fool with minute me. fool glass chips me. of stars.

11 MADYA and NIKOLAI bij CwwhjH HMIUK

She stood over him and roughly shook his shoulder. The "You have always been worthless to me and now you late fall coolness of the house invited him to stay warm grow into being a burden. Look at you! A broken down and comfortable under the blanket. But then, her sharp man who spends his evenings in the wine cellar. Your legs and strong voice began as it had every morning for the last are no longer swift and your mind never has been." thirty-seven years. "Silence your mouth, give me peace this day," he said. "Get up you," she shouted at the bulge under the "Like the peace you have given me over the years?" She covers. He hated how she never addressed him by name. It snapped back. was only another dehumanizing method she used to He rejected her provocation to argue by being silent punish him for what he had done to her forty years ago. himself. As he quietly sat down to eat, he thought of when Madya's voice became more shrill now as she yanked he left Madya and young Eli in the old country before the covers off him. sailing to America. He had every intention of sending for "Get up I said. You have been loafing long enough, old them as soon as he could settle himself and earn enough man. The eggs need collecting from the coop and there is money to pay for their passage. He had found work at the not enough wood chopped and stacked in the shanty. steel mill and that was not at all like the farming he had Winter is nearly upon us. Besides you will be late for work. been used to. The work was difficult and the mill's air Get up — up, I say!" suffocating. Meeting the other woman and settling in with Nikolai moved slowly and thought of the wine he had her hadn't been part of his planning, but it had happened. consumed in the cellar the night before. If he could linger It was comfortable, soothing to have a woman nearby awhile longer in bed, in the quiet of his own room without fulfilling long forgotten needs. Madya and Eli seemed a her pushing him, nagging him persistantly. Just this one remote part of a past life before too long. He hadn't day. His body felt unusually tired and weak today. He remembered Madya's strength and determination and succeeded with great difficulty in making it move in the least of all hadn't counted on her bitterness and rage direction of the wash basin. He washed, then relieved him­ driving her to surpass all obstacles in order to hunt him self before pulling on his overalls. A pair of dilapidated down. When confronted with her, he laid aside his ease and black work shoes lay on the linoleum next to his bed. He pleasure and yielded to responsibility. looked at them with dread. Worst of all, it was his feet that Madya's corrosive tone interrupted his recollection. caused him the most physical pain. After lacing them up "My heart is heavy with the pain you have caused." to his ankles, he hobbled out to the kitchen. Surprisingly, it was all she said, then she wiped her "I see you are finally ready," she said as he entered the hands on her apron and began to gather flour and yeast for room. bread making. Nikolai finished his burned toast and He looked at her as she moved brusquely about the strong coffee left over from yesterday. He rose from the kitchen starting the beans for supper that night and table and shuffled toward the coat rack, reached for his vaguely remembered when her lips were not so tight and jacket then slipped quietly out the back door to the her movements not so abrupt. The incense had already chicken coop. been burning which meant Madya had completed her After finishing his chores and collecting his lunch pail morning prayers. She prayed often to remind God of her Madya had placed on the back porch, he started walking suffering. Nikolai thought of the nights in earlier years she to the steel mill. This was usually the time of day he had come to his bed for the purpose of procreation and relished most for it was still and the air was crisp. Many of then devotedly summoned God's attention that His eyes his neighbors were immigrants like himself. Some of them may shine upon her for her courage and endurance in had even come from the same village. They too had come fulfulling her moral obligation. to the land of plenty in search of a better life. He rounded "Sit and eat — Then be off with you." she said. the corner past Derloshon's and glanced at the spot where "Quiet woman! Do not be gruff with me this morning for the wooden ducks once stood. He felt embarassment and my bones are slow and my feet ache." After he had already anger as he thought of the mother and small ducklings said it, he became aware that he had played into her hands positioned in a trail behind her. Madya hated those ducks. — for it was what Madya loved best, when he responded to She could see them vividly from their own yard. She defend himself in any manner. argued with Leucretia Derloshon almost daily about She lunged toward him viciously. Her tight lips moved removing them. Madya believed it was evil to recreate slightly apart and she spoke through her teeth. images after real living persons or animals. . . A sort of

12 "Bob Nessaver 1974" — Mark Copier idolatry. Leucretia refused to submit to Madya's wishes. today he longed to hear the sound of the quitting whistle. One morning Derloshons awoke to find the heads of all the Sometimes after the shift was over he would go to the ducks severed and lying next to their little wooden bodies. saloon with some of the other men for a beer. Usually if he As Nikolai walked on he felt this day to be unlike any stayed too long Madya would come after him. At first, the other. He found it difficult not to be defeated by the un­ other men would laugh and jeer, but after awhile they lost bearable fatigue he experienced. He paused briefly to catch interest in their game and ignored Madya's curious ways his breath and rest his feet at the little Eastern Orthodox and Nikolai's humiliation. church which was so familiar to him. It was where on Today he could hardly wait to get home. Perhaps she Saturday he helped to prepare for Sunday morning wouldn't be there and he could rest a bit. He was more festivities. It was the one thing he liked doing that Madya than disappointed to find her in the kitchen as he walked didn't object to. He always felt such exhilaration when he through the back door. Her head moved in his direction. climbed the bell tower and pulled on the heavy ropes to Her eyes and mouth narrowed simultaneously, and she notify his neighbors of special celebrations. It was an old continued paring an apple, the peelings falling into curls country custom to send out word of a death by a slow, upon her aproned lap then reflecting into her eyeglasses as clanging toll. On these occasions he naturally felt a she looked downward. "I see you did not go to enjoy your sadness which was intensified by his being the bell toller. devil's drink today," she said. Oddly, it caused him to feel a deeper kinship to the one He stood mute, feeling trapped and then moved to hang who had died... a sort of comaraderie with the dead. up his jacket and deposit his lunch pail on the sink. He When he reached the guard house of the steel mill he removed the soaking pan from the pantry floor and filled it realized he was later than usual this morning. He tried to with warm water from the faucet, then put the pan on the hurry, but his legs would not move any faster. He was floor in front of the kitchen day bed. He sat wearily and grateful that the younger and stronger men worked the did what he had wanted desperately to do all day. He took furnaces and the wire mill as he once had. He didn't mind off his shoes, rolled up his overalls and placed his feet into sweeping up and running errands. Most of the other the water. After resting comfortably for a few moments he workers were friendly toward him and as bad as the mill took out a muslin pouch of Bull Durham along with papers seemed to outsiders, it provided a refuge for him. But from his shirt pocket and rolled a cigarette, then struck a

13 match to it. over the linoleum. His right hand extended itself and "You know how I feel about that filthy tobacco in the switched on the radio. . . louder than it had ever been in house. It sickens my mind and stomach to see your dirty the past. The entire room was filled with the voice he habits." loved. He said nothing, he only closed his eyes and wished she As he turned to walk back to the chair, he looked would disappear. . . He hoped for a brief moment of quiet, directly into Madya's eyes. Her face registered a stunned of freedom, of escape from her knife-like tongue, her expression. Her mouth was not set in its usual tightness, perpetual punishment. He wanted retreat from the hatred but loose and slightly agape. After a fraction of a moment of her heart that sought his destruction. Madya regained her severity. She began to screech, He sat soaking and continued to smoke while Madya competing with the commentator. "How dare you become stood up to throw away the apple peelings. The only insolent with me old man?" sounds throughout the kitchen and indeed the entire house But, it was too late. . . Nikolai heard his own voice, were those of her heavy footsteps and the loud ticking of powerful, yet calm. It was as if he suddenly realized the the clock. Even the silence was piercing today. His feet potential of his own mastery. began to feel better and the water was cool now, so he "No, Madya. I am not insolent. . you are. You are also dried off and walked barefoot to his room. It was time for loathsome. You have feasted for years off my past Gabriel Heater and the news. He wanted to listen even mistake, with great pleasure, like a vulture upon a car­ though he could not understand all of the words the cass." commentator spoke. He loved the resonant sound of his "No, no!" Her anger out of control now, "It is not true. voice. You are an evil man. . You have done evil things!" Nikolai switched on the small table radio and sat in the "No Madya, I am not evil," his voice still remaining straight back chair next to his bed. As the man on the calm, "You have baptized yourself over and over again radio began to speak, Nikolai felt an unfamiliar pressure with my sin. I can see clearly that your own virtue has and pain in his chest. He grabbed at it. . . after a few been diminished by your self righteousness." His words seconds the pain disappeared. The man's rich and eloquent were smooth and non-faltering, "I will have no more of it, voice recaptured his attention. Most of the men Nikolai woman. You will no longer trample upon me." knew spoke in tones which were rough and surly in Quite unexpectedly, the alien pain returned, over­ manner. Other voices he knew were weak with resignation whelming him! What was happening? He clutched at his to burdensome lives. He thought of his own voice and chest. wondered how he sounded to others. No one he knew spoke Madya was so overpowered by her own rage that she did with the moving dignity and confidence of Gabriel Heater. not notice. She began punching him with her wrinkled fist, He listened and wished that he could know what inspired a all the time shouting, her voice becoming more and more man to possess such remarkable strength of spirit and shrill above the sound of the radio. assurance. Nikolai fell to the floor in anguish. The side of his head Madya appeared at the doorway of his room and began crushed against the unyielding floor surface, shattering yelling, "Pig, you did not empty the soaking pan. Do you the left lens of his glasses. Madya's figure was partially expect me to clean up after you? Am I your slave placed obliterated as she knelt next to him weeping bitterly. upon this earth to cater to your needs?" "Do not leave me old man. Hear what I say! Do not Nikolai did not answer. He continued to focus his at­ desert me again." tention on the radio. Madya was furious that he ignored He tried to move, but could not. What was this her. She moved swiftly to the opposite side of the dismal devastating pain? He could feel his neck and facial muscles room and with an exaggerated abrupt motion, she swit­ constrict as he made an effort to speak. . He could not! ched off the radio. Madya's fingers were grasping both his shoulders, Nikolai was astonished to feel his body rise from the shaking him violently. He could not breathe. . . chair. He became aware of his calloused feet carrying him

14 CEREMONIES and OTHER LIES In) Bette BattagCitt WINTER SHE'S COMING Receiving benediction under heavy crosses with hard gold rays (uj Vauid Riwk kneel, feel the soft draft of a blessing hand making crosses in air Winter is coming, and despair She's a naked old lady, for stored bitter vats within She lies on the land receive no solace With her sorrow. diluting ink-black sin: I'm preparing to weather sanctifying phrases dangle helplessly Her chilling appearance, as one crucified. . . She chews on my house With her icicle teeth. Everyone cusses Her facial expressions, The wrinkles of snow Which she lays in their path. They misunderstand All of the crystalline tears, Of a lady who's shunned SKINNY DIPPING By the flowers. bif Bette BattngSia

Moon silvered bodies arc from the rooted boat. Silver fronds spring from their feet as they dive in black satin. Caught in wrinkled water STALEMATE and in each other's bare grasps, their gasps and laughter by Heatim Hwjea Vamp float across wet acres to my dry shore where I sullenly fish for wet kisses. Postured in an empty bed left of center still. Sucking swollen kisses from a Winston burning low alone.

While her stallion prances on crashing foals into viscera tenderer by a decade often more Fearing that his manhood died in Her Clenched Fist

15 'Infatuation — isn't she lovely" — Dan Sharp

—Michelle Berg

16 -David Pharms

" Pussywillow under microscope" — Karen L. Vogel

17 —Mark Braendle

18 'Self portrait" — Jim Marshall

-Cheryl Williams

19 "X

P h$®&mn&

—Michelle Berg

•:& >% «* —Sue Rose

— Carol Bigler

20 'Self portrait" — Dan Sharp

-Paul Skiff

21 all day. He almost dropped out of school and Rick had IN THE WOODS been a dealer before. It seemed kind of funny to Jake how everybody had calmed down. "The water's cold," said Rick. "The plastic won't melt." Eu) Bofc £ue?iett "My cigarette would just get wet anyways." "You should put gold fish in those sags," said Jake. Harpo laughed. "I said that last week." He pushed on the roof and the water came splashing down against the walls. They went outside and sat on the The ground was soft in the woods, it had rained the log that had been rolled up as a bench. night before and even though the trees and bushes were "Next Saturday," said Rick, "we'll get Cox the ox to do dry, the air was heavy with moisture. The insects flew near some work. Give him some reefer and he'll work for twelve his head. Jake rolled up his sleeves, sweat dripping down hours straight." his back and he closed his eyes against the sun that They laughed then it was quiet and they heard rustlings flickered through the tops of the trees. As the cold feeling in the woods. Way down in the marsh, the sun reflected on in his belly melted, chilling him through his fingers, he the water. From far away the glare was like a mirror. They coughed with the phlegm rattling in his lungs. He opened turned back to the hut. A centipede wiggled from the log his eyes and followed his friends. Harpo climbed through and Rick picked up a small branch and held it above the the bushes with his shirt hanging out, head band knotted centipede. He let go and missed. He did it again and again in the back. Rick walking beside him, running his hand until it was hit then it crawled back to the log, using half through his brushcut, wearing moccasins. They crossed its legs. the stream then veered to the right up a hill. Most of the "Can you imagine," said Rick, "Somebody dropping trees were dying. The bark was grey and cracked; the trees on you." boughs were leafless. The trees that had fallen were It all seemed strange to Jake. He had a branch in his covered with mold and toad stools. Jake imagined how it hand and he watched the insect struggle, it was vivid, but would be in ten years after the contractors bought the land it did not seem real. He wasn't sure why. He wasn't sure of and built the cardboard houses, there would be streets and anything. Harpo picked up a log and heaved it near the cul-de-sacs with names like Old Gate or Willow Ridge. But centipede. Jake didn't care. It didn't seem to make much difference. "H bomb," said Harpo. Nothing seemed to make much difference. He was nineteen The bug was still alive. They watched it, then hundreds and that seemed young but he felt very old because he was of white insects came speeding out of the log. tired of many things. It made him feel bad and he knew "Are they termites?" that he would never understand why. "No." They walked over a hill, ducking branches, stepping Rick lit a match and started to burn them. "Flame­ around thickets. Jake's mouth was dry and his muscles thrower," he grinned. ached with hangover. He had been drunk Friday night and "Don't." all day Saturday and all day Sunday. It was all supposed to "No, watch them carry the centipede away," said be a good time but he knew that it wasn't fun anymore. He Harpo. drank to stop thinking and to pass the time but he hated The white army was closing in and the centipede could drinking day after day because he lost control and it dulled hardly move, but he was tough; it was going to be a long his mind. He was all out of money now, so he would not war. Rick stepped on the centipede. They all leaned back have to worry. The hut that Harpo and Rick were building and Jake dropped his branch. Everything around him rested on a small plateau. All the leaves had been swept seemed worthless. He could almost feel it when he away and the trees around the edge were full, making the breathed. The lungs pulling air in, pushing air out over camp site shady. Branches were tied and stacked against and over and over. And the trees and the hut and Harpo the stilt frame and the criss crossing limbs, covered with a and Rick, himself. Man, what for? Christ, he was just hot sheet of plastic, was the start of a roof. The hut looked like and tired and thirsty. He wanted a beer but he didn't have something from a Hooverville, but if they ever finished, it any damn money. would be a good place to stay. There was no electricity and "I wish we owned a house," said Jake. "We could write there were no parents but it was still on the edge of town. in the mornings then drink at night." They sat down on a log by the fire pit. The plastic sagged "We'd have to work," said Harpo. with water through the limbs of the roof. Harpo pressed "I know. But it would be nice." his cigarette against the plastic. Jake waited for it to burn "Yea." and for the water to spurt out. It was taking a long time. "It will never happen," said Jake. Harpo liked to play around but he was all right; so was "I know." Rick. Jake hadn't known them long. Harpo had told him "I went over to Jimmy's, my brother-in-law," said Rick. that before he used to steal from garages and smoke dope "When was this?"

22 "Saturday, I think. We tried hash and thai stick and red Jake thought about his own father and how sick he was. bud. All his friends gave him the stuff when he got And he thought about how it didn't do any good to think married. We got really high; it was like a smorgasbord. about it. That stuff about Jimmy, the lawyer's aid, and You know Jim was pretty smart. When he was dealing, he how he saved his money from dealing was screwed up. put all the money he made off dealing in the bank and now Dealing dope to buy your way to law school. It didn't seem he's got all that to fall back on." right at all. It was bullshit like everything else. His "What's he doing now?" asked Jake. wanting to be a writer was b.s.. Rick wants to be a high TV "He's a lawyer's aid." repairman, Harpo wanting to fool around. . . everybody "Oh." acting and believing their own bullshit. Jake was staring "Yea," said Rick. "He's gonna put her through school at the hut. then she's going to put him through. They should be all set "We didn't get anything done," said Harpo. in ten years. I'll stick around them in case I fuck up my "No." life." He started to laugh as he pounded a coke bottle "No." against the log. "Yea when I get a job, I'm gonna save all "Well, fuck it," said Harpo. my money for five years then I'm going to Tech for five They started back and Jake started to sweat. It was years and be an electrical engineer. You get a job easy. Or hard getting back to regular days after a weekend. He I'd like to be a TV repair man and live above my shop. Sit wanted to write at night but he felt lazy and when they up there and get high. But that's a long ways off. All I were out of the woods next to the highway, he knew that really know is that I gotta find a job so I can get my Dad he would not write. off my ass." He stopped and lit a cigarette and he put "Writing doesn't seem worth it any more," he said to down the coke bottle. He sat on the ground, leaning back Harpo. against the log. "I'm going to stay around the house one Rick broke off and headed home. The air smelled along night on the weekend and bullshit and drink with him. We the highway and the sun was very hot. Jake snow plowed really do get along. He was pretty drunk at the wedding the gravel road edge with his shoes. last weekend. But that isn't good for him. Like I remember "There ain't nothing worth nothing," he said. last New Year's, I thought he was gonna die. He was all "You can't write that," said Harpo. "It's already been pale and he could hardly breathe. He's gonna die pretty said." soon. He told me. I'm the only one in the family that Harpo went to the right and Jake went to the left to knows." walk a little further by himself.

CHILDREN SELLING FLOWER SEEDS (uj Diflwe Otacow

children come pounding at the door selling flower seeds in the middle of June, we open our eyes widely looking through a tin box— the lock is stuck like pandora's box till a snap pours out a garden in dried spiders and coins and sparrow feathers.

23 'Chicago 1974" — Mark Copier

APRIL h) EM Smeflcew it rains — Gets warmer It rains — The earth buds They yell out windows It gets warmer — Screen doors hang open They leave their houses Giving homage to sun Cruising in fine cars While children skip rope in dirty clothes Plaited hair — Tank tops — Pickaninny Nigger, how does your garden grow?

24 THE BEST OF 101 - had some special training, and started mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. There was noting I could do to help Ken, so SUNDAY EMERGENCY I ran inside of the station to make sure an ambulance was coming. (uj CfittJ mum I phoned the Walker Police and they said an The evening of the 19th of September started out like "Emergency Unit" which was in the area, was on its way. any other Sunday. I punched in at the gas station and I glanced at the clock, 7:41 and thirty seconds. went straight to work. A good friend of mine named Ken The woman came running inside and pleaded with me to was working the shift along with me. My duty was to call the hospital and her doctor. I grabbed the phone book watch the driveway and to assist customers in any way and dialed. It took awhile to finally get through to possible. As the evening progressed I waited on many cars emergency. Everything was set, the doctor and staff were and rang up all sales on the register inside of the station. alerted. It was 7:43. During one trip to the cash register I noticed a small I ran back outside. There was the Emergency Unit, an sticker on the wall above the adding machine. It was an ambulance, and a crowd in the driveway. We had done all ambulance service ad which read "In an emergency, above we could. I glanced into the crowd. all, keep from panicking." I thought about the message for There they stood, dozens of people standing around a moment and glanced up at the clock. It was 7:35. Time sharing a common destiny. They all had things to do and was to play a more important role that night than ever missions to accomplish, but the common denominator of a before in my life. dying man commanded their curiosity and their need for The air bell rang, bringing me back to reality, and I knowledge of the unknown. For some it was just a morbid realized a customer had pulled in. "Fill it up, Sir?" I said. curiosity, for others it was an acute reminder of the reality "Good enough," he smiled. "Would you get my win­ of death. dows, too?" I spotted a boy up on a fence watching the ambulance While working on the car I was unaware that Ken was crew. He was just a small boy in his Sunday clothes. No assisting someone over at the outside airpump. I bent over one had to worry about his behavior. He sensed the the car in front of me and began washing the window. A severity of the situation, and knew what was happening. scream pierced the cold night air. He stared into the crowd. It was Ken. A woman in her forties comforted the wife of the victim. "Call an ambulance!" he yelled frantically. She did not know the heartbroken wife, but tragedy made I looked up, dropped the squeegee, and ran toward the her a friend - eternal. She genuinely wept for a dying man airpump. The huge clock on the restaurant next door read she had never met. The wife looked up at a billboard clock, 7:40. it read 7:45. By the time I reached the car at the airpump, Ken had The ambulance crew worked feverishly over the victim. run inside of the station to the phone. I was horrified by They were dressed in white. Their young faces looked aged what I saw. A man was stretched out on the pavement with the burden of life - death decisions. A fat sheriff next to his car. His eyes were closed, and he was un­ deputy attached the electrodes of a shock unit to the conscious, if not dead. My God, what could I do? My mind victim's chest. The voltage was activated and the victim went blank. jerked violently. The crowd winced. So did I. Desperately I looked around, and realized I was not One of the emergency crew drew back his hand and hit alone. I had neglected to see a woman in the car. She was the victim's chest as hard as he could. He did that over fumbling through her purse. After a few seconds she and over many times. Finally he stopped. jumped out of the car holding a pill bottle. She was the I looked at the crowd once more and saw a sense of man's wife, and the pills were nitroglycerine. I knew anxiety, yet hope. A baby in her mother's arms started to immediately that the man was having a massive coronary. cry. A teenage couple kissed as if the outside world could I held the man's mouth open so the woman could shove not interfere in their own. An elderly man looked toward two pills under his tongue. I watched the man, and his the ground as if foreshadowing his own future. He walked features seemed acutely outlined. away slowly. The crowd began to dissipate. He was in his late fifties or early sixties, and overweight. The victim was loaded into the ambulance. I saw that a His hair was white and cut very short, like the old car blocked the driveway, so I jumped in to move it. I did "Princeton cuts" we used to get as kids. His ruddy nose not care how its owner felt. Time was essential. The was large and seemed out of place on such a round face. ambulance left, but without its siren on. It was 7:46. I His teeth were short and chipped, a feature I could not knew what the victim's widow did not. forget after having opened his mouth for the pills. His ears Although most credit should go to Ken, I believe that were large and protruding, with big flappy lobes. He never we both handled the situation well. After going back inside spoke, but I just knew he had a hoarse, raspy voice. He of the station to phone my boss, I noticed the ambulance was a regular customer but had always appeared to me as slogan again, "In an emergency, above all, keep from just another featureless face when I had waited on him. panicking." We had. Now, he was helpless, and etched into my mind. The clock On Monday, the widow visited the station. She tearfully read 7:41. thanked us for what we had done. She asked Ken if her His wrist - was there still a pulse? I grabbed his hand husband had whispered anything to him before dying. and I couldn't feel anything. Ken cleared his throat, and said softly, "no". Before I could react, I felt Ken's presence again. He had She began crying.

25 THE BEST OF 101 - HOW TO MAKE A GIRL HOPE YOU'LL NEVER ASK HER OUT AGAIN (uj Bet UttHfiwtd

In a society such as ours, it is unfortunate that when a Jones" will do. Park three rows from the front and climb in guy makes a date with a girl, he must carry it out even the back seat to "keep her warm" because you already told though he realizes, later, that he probably won't have a her you couldn't afford an in-car heater. good time. However, these things happen, but to insure After some of the more explicit sex scenes have come that it only happens once, I have a foolproof method to and gone from the screen, make your move. Throw every use, with a guarantee that she'll never want you to ask her line and perverse act you can think of at her. (I don't have out again. It's not the most gracious, but like I said, it's to go into detail, just use your imagination.) When you've foolproof. received a few "No don'ts" and have had your hands I'll set the situation. It's the Monday morning following shoved away a few times, pop up in the seat and tell your a lonely weekend, and you're determined never to have date you think this movie is really boring. another one like it. Mid-morning in English 101 and, in a Now drive her right to her doorstep (literally), and make fit of pure passion, you ask out a girl whom you've only one more try at the old sex routine so she knows you're not talked to three or four times before. You're mind is at ease, a quitter. Shake hands limply, now, and say goodnight. for now, anyway. Never, never walk her to the door. Suddenly, Friday is approaching and you remember this I can guarantee she'll never want you to ask her out girl has given you the impression that she falls over again. But, if by some act of God, she doesn't mind the anything that smiles at her, and you are far from ready for car, the way you dress, the "Old Milwaukee", or the a long term affair. It's too late to back out. Now is when perverted advances, you are still in luck, for you have the planning for the method begins. found the perfect wife. The only prerequisities for this stunt are raw courage, a few stored-up Don Rickles insults, and someone whom you can borrow a real junky car from. These should carry you through. Friday arrives and you cut all of your afternoon classes and start on a fifth of Jim Beam. This never fails to leave a MERCURY AND ME good impression on the girl's parents. You pull up in your buddy's '63 Corvair convertible with (uj Cm MckadUltm green doors and a red trunk. You then proceed to non­ chalantly stagger up the front walk in your red plaid shirt, brown plaid pants, and black high-top tennis shoes, as Somewhere your car drips oil on the driveway. in a hollow log Two loud thuds on the door and her dad appears as you living life at ease utter a long and breathy "HHiii". Now, you enter and I sat listening to the Mercury make yourself comfortable in the "breadwinner's" recliner. singing songs of peace Your date enters in her finest pantsuit and you grab her by the hand and head for the door, hollering back to her father "Belay the tweed and down the hatch that you'll have her home before dawn. Here's a song that none can match." When you get to the car, you explain that your passenger seat broke on your last date, and has been With gumballs I toast removed to be repaired, so she'll have to sit on the floor or the rising moon in the back seat. Most will choose the back seat. the Mercury and I By this time, she still doesn't know where you're taking Somewhere her, but she's too scared to ask. in a hollow log You're off to the neighborhood liquor store, and as you living life at ease pull in, you ask her what she likes to drink. She'll most just the log likely respond with something like "rum and coke". You and me nod, leave the car, and come out of the store five minutes later with a case of "Old Milwaukee", saying you forgot and Mercury what she wanted, so you just bought this. singing songs of peace Here comes the big catcher. You now take her to the dirtiest, smuttiest drive-in movie you can find. Something along the line of "Deep Throat" or "The Devil and Miss

26 WORLDS (uj tlipkik tm&uch

Another two-dimension day Of white walls and linoleum halls Fades into dusky nothing. Boredom bears a kicking, screaming devil child, Tormenting you to take those passion vows To wed a world of night lights And loud, cloudy drunks, Dream people who laugh and stagger round you. A SMILE And you move with them, with the Off-key songs and discordant voices (uj Cect£ Tyaow That talk in waves of high and low, Loud and soft around you.

A smile When you have cast away A simple smile Your wakeness, you fall into Was all he gave me A nightmare-haunted bed, with restless visitors Nothing more Who toss you and turn you No request For hours that seem like days. No pleading cigarette And then your sagging, red-shot eyes request Open blankly to day and a dusty light A gentle smile was all That filters in, And I might not And greys the colors of your room. Have noticed. . . And drifting ghosts of the dream night's clouds Might well have Float wisp by wisp away, Passed him by. . . Leaving you lost and void of emotion, And yet there was a smile Lying in a glass-walled vacuum. A rainbow smile A smile that only You feel no part of the smoky-noise world Children smile Of only several hours past, When something in the heart Or the one who danced and laughed Cannot be held And short-lived played in it. A moment longer And you now he quiet, only one awake When words have failed In a world still asleep, but for small brown sparrows And something still And grey and charcoal juncoes Must be expressed throating early morning music And so a smile Soft outside the shaded windows. A rainbow smile And the rhythmic pillow breathings He gave me Of your family and the neighborhood Draw you once again to a sleepy dimension Where Time has lost its meaning.

You remember last night, And a groan breaks from your stomach. You turn away in restless, rustling sheets And fall back asleep to dreams again.

27 -Rob Copier

28 pretty soon Morgan is losing six thou. He also is very angry with his bad luck, and boots me out the door. But I don't mind looking for a new pad because I have six LUCKY grand of his bucks." Eight times this happens to Seven From Heaven, and I do believe he tells me the truth in the matter. (uj 9oJuc HMmep III I am figuring that Seven From Heaven knows a lot more about gambling than he does about people. There is no bet that Seven From Heaven does not make. One day Seven Old Barber Tom cut so many hairs in his life that he is From Heaven is sitting with Carters. There is a fly hard-put to do or think anything else. He has worked six walking across the ceiling. Seven From Heaven says to days a week, fifty-two weeks a year, for forty-five years. Carters, "Carters, I bet you one hundred Washingtons I He is bald, has shiny false teeth, a big smile, and sparkling can kill that fly with this here red rubber band." eyes that take in the full measure of a man from head-to- "Seven From Heaven, you got a bet." toe, all set in a big round face. Now, no one, not even Seven From Heaven, is talented He also is a queer and a philosopher. enough to do that. He misses, pays the bet, and begins Although he is seventy-two, and I am twenty-two, we practicing with the red rubber band. hang around together. Three years ago, Seven From Heaven, then known as He sees me naked one day. Word for word this is what just plain Heaven, is shooting in a crap game. He is rolling he says, "Hey! I like your thing. It looks nice and shiny for his tenth straight seven when Long Tall is yelling from when it's wet." I am dumbfounded. Compliments such as the side, "Betcha can't make it ta fifteen." Seven From this are most impressive. He is continuing, "and hard." I Heaven cannot pass up any bet, even if the odds are was embarrassed. Not knowing what to do or say, I think against him. He says, "Certainly I will bet. One hundred of what my mother tells me, "I'm going to show you smackers to be sure." exactly what will happen if a guy sees you naked at the He makes fifteen easy. Collects Long Tail's jack. Then institution." I know she is right because the same thing proceeds to run his string to thirty-two straight sevens. happened with Old Barber Tom as happened with my Ever since, he is called Seven From Heaven. mother. When he let go it got soft and small. This is how I Seven From Heaven calls me to his side one day and know he is queer. tells me the story of his life. He says, "When I am just a I know he is a philosopher as he is always lying and punk, it dawns on me that I got religion. I says to myself, telling stories. His stories always have morals to them. I 'George, any person that knows people as well as you do, is do not remember the stories but the following are morals: truly heaven-sent.' I tell myself I must quit gambling and women are crazy, men are crazy, and so is everybody; men become a minister. I graduated from St. Joseph's and should screw ugly women more often because they are preached for the next ten years. God's children too, and besides, then they will treat the "Then one day while I'm waiting in New Orleans, for my real lookers much better; children are naturally smarter boat to China, I can't resist a cockfight. My old habits than their parents because they are born with their parents' return. I'm kicked out of the ministry, go crazy, and wind smarts already installed in their brains. up here." Old Barber Tom is one best friend. I have another best So it is that these men are my two best friends. We do friend who is called Seven From Heaven. This is not his everything together. When we retire in the evening, our given name. bunks are located three-in-a-row, inside of a long room. Seven From Heaven knows everything about people There also are thirty-one other beds in the room. Eighteen that there is to know. He says to me one day, "Lucky, all along one wall, and sixteen beds and a door along the my life I'm moving from one family to another. Of course, other. It has white walls and a green tile floor, and looks it isn't my fault. The first time it occurs I'm two years old. empty, as we are not allowed to hang pictures. I like this I wake up in.the middle of the night. Finding the house on aspect of decor as it enables me to observe the other guys. fire, I jump out of the window just as it is crashing to the I see that Dripper is exercising. He sits on his bed, leans ground. Well, I decide that I cannot stay here any longer, way forward, looks straight at the floor and bounces a golf so I leave for the house of my good friend, Morgan. ball, catching it with his right hand, then his left. "He welcomes me with outstretched arms. Shaking my Humper is lying in bed completely covered by his hand, he tells me that I can stay for six months. Morgan is blankets. Seven From Heaven is telling me, "Humper filthy rich, so I tell him six months is plenty time to get-up plays with himself." a stake. Old Barber Tom says, "He who plays with himself is "Immediately, we sit down and begin playing cribbage. self-satisfied, therefore, more secure within his own I was fortunate to have grabbed my money bag, I thought, conscience." but as it turned out, I drew four straight twenty-nine I don't know what he means, but Seven From Heaven is hands and triple-skunk him. I do this many times, and saying, "You speaking through experience, Tom?"

29 I finally catch on and realize that this is most hilarious, Johnson is making recommendations that I am to stay at as it is a joke on Old Barber Tom. Old Barber Tom scowls. this place. This event takes place ten years ago. Ready to go to sleep, I realize that tomorrow is my big I decide not to tell Doctor Johnson of my plan. I will be day. I will accomplish my feat and become a well respected that much bigger of a man, if I do this feat on my own. The man about my floor. way I see it, is that Old Barber Tom is the best hair cutter, We get up in the morning and shave. The bathroom is Seven From Heaven is the best gambler, and I will be the all white, has ten sinks with mirrors on one wall, toilets best pill eater. and urinals on the other. Doctor Johnson does not have much to complain about So it seems that Old Barber Tom is in a playful mood today. He tells me I can go to lunch now. this morning. He is cutting himself on the lower forearm, Kenny Kinetic is the waiter. He zips back and forth, dipping his pointer finger in his blood and rubbing it up carrying hot rolls, mashed potatoes, steak, drinks, and and down my back. anything else he can think of, to the tables. "Hey, get that junk off me." I am pretending to be At our table sits Old Barber Tom, Seven From Heaven, angry. myself, and Dripper. "Lucky," Seven From Heaven is saying, "you might be Dripper is so called because the left side of his face is proud that Tom is giving you some of his blood." paralized. When he chews, only the right side of his mouth "This substance is the very existence of mankind. It's moves. The left side hangs open. There is a permanent the juice of life," says Old Barber Tom. stain running from his mouth to his chin. Old Barber Tom is laughing. I am laughing at Old The people at the table in the corner, where the fat man Barber Tom who is using his blood for shaving cream. sits, are singing a song; Seven From Heaven is laughing because he is cleaning my Good home cookin', back with shaving cream. The nurse, standing in the Hominy grits and peas, doorway, is not laughing. In fact, she is quite angry. I Good home cookin', would say mad, except that mother told me only dogs get To my stomach it is a tease, mad. The nurse yells, "All right ya three stooges. Now I'm Good home cookin'. . . gonna send you to see Doctor Johnson." I like this song. They sing it every day. Seven From If there is one thing that Doctor Johnson hates, it is me. Heaven is angry with them. He dips a roll in gravy and He never told me this fact with his own words, but I know wings it across the room. It smacks up against the side of it is true. Every time I am in to see him he is complaining. the fat man's head. The fat man does not seem to mind He says, "You make me nervous. You make my hair grey. though. He just picks it up and eats it. Old Barber Tom is You make my etc., etc., etc." I never make him do outraged, "Seven, waste not - want not. There are people anything, but it is a well known fact that he hates me. starving in the world." I am sitting in Doctor Johnson's office, not at all in­ Seven From Heaven looks at the fat man and replies, "If terested in what he is saying. My mind is wandering to the there weren't any fat people, there wouldn't be any secret box in my dresser. My stash. My little blue pills. starving people. Go bitch at him." My doorway to manhood. I should tell Doctor Johnson of "Nonsense. Pure nonsense," says Old Barber Tom. my plan. After all, it is his idea that I am not a man in the I have talked to this fat man. He is telling me that the first place. Russians have infiltrated his diet with sugar, making him When I am just a squirt, as is the saying when a person fat on purpose. He is saying that he has no control in the is small in years, my mother is saying to Doctor Johnson, matter, as it is happening from childhood. "What is wrong with this dear boy? He is so frail and I tell this to Seven From Heaven. He says to me, "That slight of frame. I'm afraid he feels not quite up-to-par could be true. After all, I have never seen a fat Russian." when playing games with the other boys. They are all so I have never seen any kind of Russian in my life. much bigger, and he feels inadequate in their presence." Believing Seven From Heaven, I say, "Yeah." Now, Doctor Johnson is a very good thinker. "I have a Dripper is exercising, Humper is humping, the fat man friend, Wang Ho Ming, who is the owner of a karate is the fat man, and all are ready for bed. I am thinking that school. If we enroll your boy in his class, it might be that my big night had finally arrived. The largest amount of he'll respond positively, and conquer the obstacles that little blue pills that Carters has taken is ten. Everybody inhibit his progress." knows this as common jargon. I have saved twenty little Well, this is all fine and dandy. But for one fact: the blue pills. other boys are still bigger than me, and I get slugged all Seven From Heaven is saying to me, "The only way to over the place. consume this dope is to crush them up, mix them in water, For two years this goes on and I guess that I did not hold your nose, and swallow real fast." respond positively, and conquer the obstacles that inhibit I agree with him wholeheartedly. my progress, because, the next thing I know, Doctor

30 FURROWED FIELDS (uj Stow Wwid

THE OAK AND I Lonely are the waters of this Sweet and salty sea. (uj Stow Wand The Captain, in his ship of fools Rides its shoreless waves End to end and back again. I saw the sun kiss the oak Then run to the other side of hers. Not a grain of sand or I watched his head turn from A rock on which to stand Green to olive drab to black. To see his ship as others do, I watched the clouds He shouted to his crew Behind his head turn to charcoal. Steady as she goes I saw his copper backdrop dissolve And tell me what you see. Into blackness. I watched as an owl changed places A patch of furrowed field With a sparrow. Golden in the sun. So cast With wide eyed wonder The mold overboard, and the The owl and I gazed at the tiny lights Fetid water too. Then steer That began to cluster in the oak's hair. A course that is straight I saw them come softly And true. As if to comfort him as he waited. I waited, we waited. Through outstretched limbs of wood Secured with worn ropes tied to shaky cleats I heard soothing sounds He sees a gentle kiss upon the sail That floated upon the warm night air. But hidden rocks and windy times I listened as tiny mouths Long see miles past Tiny legs Tiny wings Still toss and turn behind his brow. Composed a concerto He saves his bread. In black. A melody that was ever-changing Unchanging. Silently I sat and listened Entertained for free. CHRISTMAS REQUEST But all too soon the curtain Began to rise -FROM A JOURNAL I saw the oak begin to Smile again (uj Dtowe Obuw As his lover returned To creep over my shoulder it will not be a white Christmas And kiss his face green. this year, on the hill, marigold heads droop like hangedmen, victims of merciless season in wait of burial as the perished beauty of the newscast mangled beauty of a bangla desh.

i requested of st. nicholas an unperishable violet with a letter from a friend on a dismal morning or a wee satchet of the magic that survived him through these dubious winters.

31 But the rain didn't come, nor could it be waited for when THE MELON PATCH there were tender watermelon plants in the ground. So, scarcely had she finished planting when the most difficult (uj Hmtim Hwjea Vamp job of all lay before her. At first, having to carry water in pails from the house had not discouraged her, for she continued to expect the The old woman sat quietly in her porch swing watching seasonal rains that would make doing it unnecessary. She the sun go down beyond her garden. In spite of the had not anticipated the drought that seared and withered summer heat, she wore a long sleeved flannel shirt and a crops and fields for miles in every direction, that dried pair of ragged denim coveralls. Across her lap lay a loaded rivers and streams, killed cattle, and ruined farmers who shotgun, the old Ithaca that had belonged to her husband. had managed to survive every other disaster. She thought of Luther as she stroked the cool, steel Thankful for the deep well that had not run dry as had barrel with her fingertips. He would have been proud of shallower ones of some of her neighbors, she had spent the her. She had managed to stay on alone, keeping the farm blistering summer carrying water to the melon plants that and even his old pick-up truck. She hadn't sat around grew and vined green and lustrous over the acre patch that moping, worrying about money, or feeling sorry for herself resembled an oasis in a scorching desert. as some of her friends had done when they had become However, as precious as the water had become, she had widows. not hesitated in volunteering to share her supply with "No sir, I took the bull by the horns and commenced to those who had none. Years of farming had conditioned her do something about my troubles. Just look there, Luther," to a way of life in which an interdependant community was she said as she made a slow sweeping gesture with her essential, taken for granted. For sooner or later, any calloused hand, indicating the acre of watermelons she had member who was called upon to render goods or services, grown and which were not nearly ready for market. would themselves be in a position of need. "You always was one to get things done, Sade," she By the middle of July, Gladys Dunham had begun heard him smile back. arriving early each morning for water. "Sadie, I just don't "And no young rapscallions are going to be undoing the know what folks are going to do if this drought keeps up hard work I done." She patted the satiny butt of the much longer," she said as she lumbered into the kitchen, Ithaca. two shiny milk pails clanging together as she placed them She had made up her mind to grow melons when she had atop a counter. been in the grocery store one day a year before, and had Sadie poured two cups of tea, sat down at the kitchen seen the prices that were being asked for them. table and beckoned her guest to the chair across from her. She had bought her seed and started the plants in the "Bound to rain sooner or later," she said optimistically. house in March. By April, she had been able to work the Gladys took her place at the table and made a soil, which she cultivated with the roto-tiller. Day after production of measuring exactly three teaspoons of milk day she had been dragged and yanked by that coughing, and one teaspoon of sugar into her tea. "They're holding a torturous machine, back and forth over the land, until she special prayer meeting up at church tonight," she sighed, ached in every muscle and joint of her body, and great "for rain. Don't see what good that's gonna do. The good yellow callouses had toughened her hands and fingers. Lord can surely see what's happening without being told." Then, because she knew the importance of rich fertilizer "Luther always used to say it still don't hurt to ask." to good melons, she had spent two weeks hauling rotted Sadie picked absently at a chip in the faded, red checkered manure from the abandoned barn yard, in her leaf cart. oil cloth that covered the table before her, and remembered This she had spread generously over the plot and then her husband's faith in the power of prayer and hard work. tilled into the soil. By the end of May, the ground was "Weatherman says there's a seventy percent chance ready and the weather warm enough to set the vigorous tonight." seedlings. "Well, I, for one, have yet to see one of those fellas that Although this too, had been difficult, tiring work, she could be trusted. Two years ago, the day Herb's corn was had rejoiced in it. The smell of the spring air, the damp washed out, they said it was going to be clear and sunny." warmth of the soil, the heat of the sun that had already She dropped her teaspoon to the table with a clack that begun to leather her face over her nose and across her said she had summed the usefulness of the meterological forehead. When the plants had all been set in rows of hills, services in a word. she had stood with hands on her hips surveying them "We'll all get through, Glady. We always do." She tried with pride, with satisfaction, and with such joy that she to comfort. had not cared about the aching in her back or the sweat "That's well and good enough for you to say, Sadie that soaked her shirt and made it cling clammily to her Shepard. You still got good water in your well, and your body. garden growing out there nice as you please. This dry spell "And now, Luther, we wait for rain." hasn't got to you yet."

32 The old woman scowled and resented the remark, but "Thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the decided not to argue the point with her neighbor. Hasn't corn," she said as she brought a long butcher knife from got to me yet, indeed, she thought, and rose to fill the the house to carve the melon she had chosen. Luther shiny pails from her sink. When they were filled, she set smiled. He had always loved watermelon. them on the floor by the back door and said kindly, "Much She sat in the parched lawn at the edge of the patch as as I'd love to chat with you Glady, I got a lot of work to she split the melon and began gorging herself on its center. get done before the sun gets too high..." It was perfectly ripe, its taste as delicately sweet as any "I'd better get along too, although there's not much I she had ever had. As she savored each generous bite, pink can do in this weather, and what with my back acting up juice dribbled from the corners of her mouth and down her lately. Herb and I mostly sit by the fan and watch our chin. Curious, a couple bold black crows lit on the ground stories on the television." She picked up the pails of water. near her. She smiled and tossed rinds and half eaten "By the way, would you mind if I got an extra pail later sections of melon to them. Her happiness was complete. on? I'd like to put some in my bird bath. I miss all my This very day she would take her melons to town, she birds. Don't know where they all went to. All I see is the thought as she rose and threw the remains of her feast to crows, those pesky things. Maybe with a little water, the the birds, and walked back to the house to wash up and song birds might come back." change into a clean shirt and overalls. "Feel free, Gladys," Sadie said, holding the door after Sadie took her time dressing, pinning a pink brooch to her. "If I'm out in the garden, just come on in for it." her shirt front, dabbing Up rouge to her mouth and cheeks. "Much obliged," her neighbor called over her shoulder. She was securing a wide brimmed straw hat to her head Sadie closed the door. Song birds, she thought, a little with long ebony tipped hat pins when racket outside drew disgusted. If any song birds was to come back, the crows her attention. Pulling back a yellowed curtain at the wouldn't let them near the water anyhow. kitchen window, she saw in one horrifying moment what The last rays of the sun glinted red across the heads of caused it. hundreds of big, glossy, green watermelons that lay Dozens of shiny black crows had descended cawing, among the leaves and vines sprawling many feet beyond screaming, quarreling, on her melon patch. Whacking and the borders of the original acre plot. Carrying the shotgun tearing with their glistening pointed beaks at the beautiful under her arm, Sadie rose from her nightly watch station melons they had discovered to be the source of delicious on the porch swing and strolled among them, examining water and wet flesh. them in the last of the evening light, as though they were "Luther!" Sadie shrieked as she ran for the Ithaca her children. Bending now to pat the head of one, to speak which she loaded. With gasps and trembling hands she lovingly to another, stooping to examine the stems that filled the pockets of her overalls and all the extra shotgun fed them, which now that they were drying, told her that shells they would hold. By the time she had gotten to the most of her melons were ripe. She was filled with ex­ melon patch, screaming oaths and threats, more crows had citement, for any day now, perhaps tomorrow, or the day arrived. More circled. after, she would begin picking the very best of them and She stumbled among the damaged melons, cracking would take them into town to sell first to her friends and them, trampling vines, blasting round after round at the neighbors before taking a load to market in the city. ugle birds who rose into the air a flapping black cloud each "Sade," her neighbors had said, "You just let us know time she fired, and settled back to their feast while she when your melons are ready. We'll buy from you." reloaded. They were like a huge blanket being shaken in Everyone knew Sadie Shepard would have melons that the wind, rising, falling, waving, rising and falling again. year, and had admired her for the effort she had made to Determined. Relentless. And though old woman's volleys grow them against such terrible odds. Often, as they drove found many of them, and brought them to the ground with the dusty road past the patch where she could be seen a thud, more came who would not be frightened away from working each day, they had slowed long enough to call to the sweet juices that flowed from cracked and riddled her, "Hiya, Sadie, How's the melons doing?" melons. The woman fired, reloaded and fired again until "Pretty good," she'd answer cheerfully, "Could use her arms and shoulder hurt so badly she could no longer some rain though." draw good aim. Still she fired, screaming, killing many, "Couldn't we all," they'd say and roar off with a wave but not enough, until her shells were gone. She dropped and a cloud of dust that drifted over the patch and herself. the Ithaca and began racing through the patch, yelling, They were good folks. She would sell her melons to them waving her arms, trying to find melons which had not been for only a dollar each. The people in the city would have to destroyed. Able to carry no more than two, she ran pay two. Luther approved. frantically for the house. Her feet tangled in the vines, she The next day the old woman spent the morning carrying stumbled and fell, the melons split with a crack as they hit water to her melon patch. By noon she decided she would the ground, and a hoard of crows descended on the pieces. wait no longer. The time had come to sample the first She lay exhausted, sobbing into the dust until she was melon. dry. Around her, the acre that had been her life was

33 blanketed with the noisy flapping devils that had taken it. Sadie sat on the tail gate of the truck in front of a pile of Finally, she got up, wiping her cheeks with dirty hands, dead crows, two of which she held aloft, displaying them to and plodded to the house to get the rest of the shotgun the shocked townspeople. shells. Then, back to the patch to retrieve the shotgun, "Melons," she called, smiling brightly. "Melons, only a kicking viciously at dead crows and shattered melons as dollar each!" she went. Drawing a little lawn chair to the edge of the Whispers rippled through the crowd, "What in God's garden, she sat down and began methodically plugging name?" away at the black carpet with her shotgun. When all her "Mama, what's the widow Shepard doin'?" shells were gone, she slowly carried the gun back to the "Hush, child" house where she cleaned and put it away before collapsing "Is she trying to be funny?" on her bed fully clothed, and falling asleep. That night it The crowd in the street grew and stared as Sadie held rained. the crows before them calling, "Melons, just a dollar The next morning dawned bright and clear, the sun each.'' sparkling on the wet ground, as Sadie Shepard rose and Big Gladys Dunham pushed her way through the attended to her appearance before beginning her day's stunned audience, holding a dollar bill high in front of her. work. Backing Luther's pick-up truck to the garden, she "Here, Sade," she called loudly, "I'll take one of them loaded it, then climbed into the cab and drove to town. melons!" She took the dead crow from Sadie gingerly, thanked her, turned, and pushed her way back through the crowd. "Mama, come quick and see!" a little red headed boy "I'll take two," a man said as he walked to the truck, whispered as he tugged at his mother's skirt tail and drew digging in his wallet. her out of the grocery store into the street where a silent One by one, the friends and neighbors of Luther crowd had gathered around Sadie Shepard's truck. Shepard's widow stepped forward to buy her melons. AFFLUENCE (uj Vol Buwcdft

Outside my window I see my past Though I gaze at a huge maple tree Swaying underneath a load of green: Plush A languid red rosebush poised Humming with bees: Nice The soft night sounds of now.

The music of a passing train Heard far away Massages my mind and suggests A new freedom to travel back To an old place

To reconcile with father poverty Who nurtured me in the abundance of his store only to have me cast it all aside For the uncertain promise of my dreams

I must make amends for being so rude For from his teachings I learned humility I will beg his forgiveness For being a problem child

I can afford to now.

34 —Mark Kukulski 35 BACCHANTE IN THE HORSE LATITUDES foj SuftOK Siddoi

Summer-wefl, it's here, warm moonlit limbo between winter and winter. A hot intense mirage, a dust cloud out of which I come riding with a wine glass 14th street in one hand in a pick-up truck, my feet dusty on the dashboard, by dok detwie. and my head out the window blown clean of breath and ideas for once. the castle is rapidly falling apart, the duke is destined to move on soon, But returned to my room and the heir-apparent seems the limbo becomes stifling disillusioned with this royal life. and the booklined walls close in. as i watch this lonely castle, i Summer, well yes am awed by the festoon of relics that's when my chaos from feasts and frolics overwhelms me, of the frivolous past. takes me out with wine and companions as i luxuriate with in somebody's car a cool breeze and to participate in ancient a cold beer on frenzies we only the royal balcony, my mind wanders half know, through the time and returns me when i, to the horse latitudes too, of my room lived the life of seeming leisure to wonder. in this pauper's palace.

and, as memories should, they bring a smile with sickening dread, i feel nostalgic, with another beer, i am happy, and with a few more, i'll be moving on.

wanting to be right seems always the worrier's role, causing in that weary way a bitter heart and downtrod soul.

36

Paris Press, Grand Rapids, Michigan ;:»..'

— Tom Czarnopys