TThhee BBoottttoomm LLiinnee June 2005 A Publication of The Intergroup Association of Debtor's Anonymous

Editor’s Notes Opening a Channel to God Hi, Folks, A week after celebrating a year of solven- for work. The stark fact that I alone was cy I lost it by overdrafting my checking responsible for my prosperity and solven- D.A. is the most incredi- account. Overspending had never been cy enraged me. I secretly wished to be ble experience of my my poison, but a propensity to under- carried off to a place where I wouldn’t strange and wonderful earn made me a debtor by default. have to be awake and responsible for my life & it’s miracles keep Truthfully, the overdraft was a relief. In life. Step work with my sponsor shone coming every day! the weeks prior I felt like I was trying to the light on the futility of the situation: I hold up a collapsing ceiling. Losing my needed to go to work and I couldn’t. My My solvent husband and solvency left me no choice but to accept own fear paralyzed me. My easy income I just gave our daughter that this disease is more powerful than enabled me. The situation was hope- the gift of her first year in me. less. My best efforts only made matters a private High School worse. I felt the realization of powerless- and this is a major mira- Last year my life was very different— ness for the first time. Under my own cle of faith. The public money came to me abundantly and steam, I was screwed. I needed a mira- schools in our area of effortlessly. I got paid to open my mail- cle if I was going to make it through. Pennsylvania are good box, receiving regular residual checks for but it didn’t work out for commercial work. I was able to quit my I began to understand what DA people our child. For years we exhausting survival job and try on a dif- meant when they credited the admission believed we couldn’t ferent lifestyle. I made plans to get of powerlessness as the wellspring of afford private school. another job and put the residuals into a hope. There was nothing else to do but But now we asked HP to prudent reserve. I promised that I would give up on my plan, turn to God and say, help us find the best be responsible and wise with my “I’m out of ideas, what do you got?” I school for her and we finances. With money flowing in, I felt was about to sink financially, but I began put our faith in the belief like everything would be ok forever. I to think in terms of radical acceptance: that the $$ would come. had arrived. what if this too were part of God’s loving The perfect school plan? “Resist not” came to me in medi- showed up & we paid for Though I enjoyed my new freedom, I tation. ‘If you find that you’re falling, it! We got creative & quickly felt the itchiness and boredom of dive.” A recovering AA with 20-some- even produced a concert underemployment. I felt apart from the thing years of sobriety once told me that as a tuition fundraiser. rest of the world who had to work daily. a short version of the 3rd step prayer The amount we raised at I wouldn’t let myself enjoy or even was “F—- it.” That sounded a hell of lot the concert was exactly acknowledge my income. I felt like I did- easier than “fight everything”. Why not what we needed to finish n’t deserve it. I viewed the ease at which give up? I was digging a hole for myself, paying off the years I earned it as something criminal, and if dropping the shovel certainly wouldn’t tuition. But I don’t have people knew this they would abandon me make anything worse. Would I debt? to tell you about how the in a jealous huff. I craved meaningful Perhaps, but intuitively I knew that I’d be exact amount always work, but the longer I was jobless, the ok, because I was putting my life in seems to show up, do I? more I feared going back to work. I God’s hands. I decided to surrender all, Just a reminder -- send rationalized this fear by telling myself to my disease as well as my recovery. your D.A. experience that all work was time-demanding and strength and hope as soul-sucking. Yet I also agonized over I began to listen to my intuition. That text in the body of an the future. What would happen when I voice that I mistrusted and ignored my email to stopped receiving my checks? I felt whole life was now my master, my bottomline@danyc. myself in a strait-jacket of underearning, source, my director. I took the risk of org. Or send typed or exhausted by the mental struggle. obeying it instead of my ego-driven head. handwritten submissions I practiced contrary action, especially to: Bottom Line Just as I unwittingly planned, the day when I was in fear. Instead of acting on 420 Wyncoop Ct. arrived when the checks stopped coming, the old instinct of pushing harder when Holland, PA 18966. the funds were low and, under the threat something wasn’t going my way, I just Editorial Policy is on the of debting, I had no choice but to look completely dropped the ball and walked back page of this publication. The Intergroup Association of Debtor's Anonymous of Greater New York Peace & Prosperity, P.O. Box 452 Grand Central Station New York, NY 10163 917- 319- 2819 www.danyc.org Gretchen The opinions expressed here are those of the individuals who gave them and do not represent D.A. as a whole. the other way. That shortened had just taken it to heart. and the positive, abundant thoughts 2 3rd step prayer came in handy increased. My life began to reflect when I needed encouraging! The fear dropped from my shoulders. the internal changes. Work, love, My old, stubborn beliefs softened. abundance came to me. I did fall a bit, I did debt, but an The gripping feeling in my chest loos- amazing thing happened. When I let ened. I saw indeed that my problem I’m still working toward solvency and go of my ladder, falling backwards, I had truly been spiritual, that I had greater abundance, but I’m also living landed in the invisible safety net of organized my life around beliefs of the awesome creation of a new God’s care, one that wouldn’t have lack and limitation. Step work recovery on God’s terms. I don’t existed to me unless I needed to be revealed these old ideas and put a struggle. I keep my arms at my sides caught. That leap of faith was invig- bit of breathing room between them and move my feet only as my Higher orating, freeing—it made me feel and my true self. I saw that I had the Power directs me. I am responsible alive. Had God been there the whole option to believe something differ- for keeping an open channel to God, time and I just hadn’t trusted Him? ent—it wasn’t too late to literally remaining flexible and teachable. Had I really built my life on a founda- change my mind. My mind was a What a satisfying way to live! I had tion of fear and control when I didn’t laboratory of new thinking experi- tried to build a structure of recovery need to? I felt like I had discovered ments. What if the universe respond- by my own willpower. The thing the pot of gold at the end of the rain- ed to my desires without argument? stood for a while, just barely, but the bow. I wanted to run down the street What if everything in my life were second an unexpected breeze came and tell everyone “This is it! This is there to love me? What if I were along, it toppled over. Today God the secret that we’ve all been looking responsible for calling forth every creates a more beautiful and bounti- for! Just let go, don’t try, stop push- detail in my life? My old, limiting ful life than I could have ever ing. Rest and listen for direction.” Of beliefs put up a fight—they knew they designed. I live that trust daily. I let course, I’d been hearing about sur- were going extinct and, since they it happen to me. Thank you, God render to God even before I stepped once protected me, they feared for and DA. into the 12-step rooms. This was not my safety. I adamantly kept my a new theory, but rather one that I attention on the solution, however, — A.L. Remembering John H In the Spring of 1982 I told my prayer needs taken care of on a cash basis I to write the meeting format. Almost group at Church that my expenses felt like a millionaire. Income coming everything they did was a group were more than my income. A mem- in, I did not have to wonder about process. The meeting list and pam- ber said “New York has everything”. how to take care of myself. It was all phlets began. She gave me the number for Debtors laid out in my spending plan. I Anonymous and I gravitated to this eagerly did all the actions I wrote John H’s viewpoint influenced me. help like a fish needing water to stay down during my Pressure Group Once as I was walking with John and alive and swim again. Meetings and life began to surface. I his date I was feeling badly and found a part-time job near where I shared that I was divorced. John At my first meeting, I saw people put- lived and they gave me $750 per said, “that makes you interesting.” ting their hands up & I remembered month. A steady job after two years Another supportive statement that being in school and thought this was of sporadic freelance temping gave turned my self esteem around. a “civilized group”. I listened and me a footing to stand on. I was was welcomed as a newcomer and asked to speak at my home meeting At one of my Pressure Group meet- one of the group’s officers gave me a at St. Ignatius Loyola. I told my story ings John H. was late and I was meeting list. She advised me to put and there was healing humor and harsh because I had concerns and my hand up and share what’s going applause. I felt acknowledged and did not know where to turn. After my on with me. I willingly did and went experienced being a real human harshness John H. defended himself to six meetings during which I met being. Good feelings continued to and said, “Do you think of us— John H. I felt I would be getting the happen. whether we have tokens, health, etc. real stuff if I asked John H., the to make it to these Pressure founder, and a ritzy Park Avenue lady Sometimes we sat around and talked Meetings?” And I saw how selfish I to be in my first Pressure Group. To informally after the meetings and I was being, another character defect my surprise they agreed. I felt I was was very curious how DA started. surfaced for me to take care of. rescued from drowning in my fears. I John H. told the story about sitting learned there were things I could do around with his fellow AA’s who had Doctors told me I had organic to halt and alleviate my situation. I difficulty keeping agreements with depression and I was unwilling to felt I was in good hands and nothing making amends. They commiserated take medicine. I soon found the will- will go wrong. honestly and discovered they were ingness and went to many other 12 I was not working at the time and my “compulsive debtors.” This discovery Step meetings, found sponsors and Pressure Group gave me a spending was a beginning. They looked at worked the programs. I experienced plan of a little less than $700 and compulsions of other forms of money wellbeing for the first time in a long asked if there was anything I could matters and formulated little by little time. do to generate that income. I said with a Higher Power the DA process- “Yes!” and learning to live with all my es. It worked. Members volunteered After a while I wanted to know what to do with my list of debts. My from college Debt Free and paid all away from the meetings. And after 3 Pressure Group had me rank my creditors in the process. I 15 years I am back in DA. I am now order them with the largest on top— became proud of my achievement very willing to be of service as it is yet to me the total seemed unattain- though this struggle. I was not only in the spirit of fellowship that I able. John said, “You will retire them.” ashamed or afraid. I wanted to pass am happy and growing. It seemed to me that I employed along the good feelings to others who these creditors to beat me up. As I like I used to be were drowning with When I attended John H’s memorial I worked the program many of my fear and did not know the reality of realized how appreciative I was of fears were beginning to disappear. I how to deal with the difficult situation the Higher Power who created this learned about moratoriums, no jail, of compulsive debting. I was moving growing space for so many people the civil nature of things, etc. on as a Human Being. Debt free I who need DA’s help. I feel the twelve Things continued and I spent time landed a job in a huge corporation for steps are gifts from a Higher Power with fellow members after meetings financial planning and began to see and they are sometimes challenging and I held on to one supporting sen- how solvent people protect them- but always lead the way to a solution. tence – “come to meetings and keep selves through the vicissitudes of life. My stay in DA is a permanent one as records and you will be out of debt”. I did not volunteer to do service & DA I have tasted life inside and outside Working the steps on honesty and people did not ask me to, therefore I of the fellowship. & I prefer inside. emotions helped me to see my char- felt useless & my attendance at What I have learned is that I must acter defects and somehow on meetings dropped. I could not keep give to others what I have freely acceptance the character defects my well being without finding oppor- received from the fellowship. subsided. I really changed internally. tunities to give it away. Solvency without fellowship proved to be a With gratitude. After about seven years I graduated treacherous path for me that lead me Nina R. Business Debtors Anonymous Debting Signals All B.D.A. information in this Bottom Line Issue was found by searching various local DA websites & combining the information. This is a compilation of 2 lists: ly instead of according to agreed- • Many of us were overwhelmed by Compulsive debting in business is upon terms. clutter. very similar to compulsive debting with one’s personal finances. Many of • When payments were not made • We lived in a state of self-depriva- us were severely lacking in clarity. within agreed-upon terms. tion for the sake of our business. Some of the experiences and behav- • When financial commitments were • We did not pay ourselves a salary. iors that led to compulsive debting made on anticipated sales. were: • We did not take vacations, provide • When we held on to clients who ourselves benefits, or grant ourselves • We neither knew when bills or were slow or bad payers. any personal and sick days. taxes were due, nor did we remem- ber if and what we had paid or still • When a reasonable and comfort- • We undervalued and underpriced owed. able profit margin was not factored our goods and services. into our pricing • We confused our personal • We allowed professionals who finances with our business finances • When we cut our salaries in order worked for us (e.g. consultants, and drew from one set of funds to to save the business money. accountants, lawyers, etc.) to run our business life. cover the other. • We used verbal agreements • We often did not know the exact instead of written ones, which led to • In relapse, we missed BDA and/or costs of our overhead, our operating disputes later over the terms of the DA meetings, and lost contact with expenses, or our profit margins. agreement. our sponsors, pressure relief group, and friends in the program. • We had no business plan. • We overcommitted our time and did not spend enough time generat- • We did not or were unable to ask • When we paid invoices premature- ing revenue. for help when we needed it most. Can Any Member of D.A. Attend Business Debtors Anonymous Meetings? Technically, a business owner can be talists may all benefit from attending the issues, needs and concerns of defined as a person who is principal D.A. meetings. business owners in the fellowship. in a sole proprietorship, partnership As implied in the Third Tradition, Every B.D.A. meeting is autonomous. or corporation, and has financial members of Debtors Anonymous However, many meetings have found responsibility for conduct of that busi- who are not business owners can it helpful to have suggested guide- ness, including federal, state and certainly attend any B.D.A. meeting lines for leading, speaking, and/or local taxes. However, entrepreneurs, and benefit from the experience, holding a service position for a meet- artists, contractors, craftspeople, con- strength and hope found there, but ing (i.e. 90 days of not incurring any sultants, merchants, shopkeepers, the focus of B.D.A. meetings is inten- new, unsecured debt and having had the self-employed and venture capi- tionally geared towards addressing two Pressure Relief Meetings). 4 Business Debtors Anonymous Beginner’s Tool Kit We have found the following sugges- Show up for your business and keep a valuable teacher. Don't compare tions helpful in recovery through your focus on generating revenue. your business insides with your com- Business Debtors Anonymous: Your business collars and time spent petitor's outside. should generate revenue. Create a personal spending plan via If you feel either high or low when Debtors Anonymous Be very clear about your profit. Know closing "deals" or financial commit- your profit margins on each and ments: BOOKEND. Try not to drama- Work out a 12 month business plan: every business transaction whether it tize! include all costs, projected revenue, involves a product or service. Write it and payroll-be sure to include you down, use your calculator, run a Pay bills promptly and get payments own salary. tape, double check the numbers. due to you promptly.

Review the Business Plan with a Detach from difficult personalities: Put all your business agreements in Business Pressure Relief Group clients, partners, employees, and writing. To save money and confu- meeting. your own DIS-ease. Remember in all sion, write your own letters of agree- your business transactions its princi- ment before seeking legal advise. Open and maintain a separate busi- ples before personalities. Take care of yourself. Remember ness checking account. Separate HALT: don't get too Hungry, Angry, personal from business finances. If you have a problem with record Lonely, or Tired. keeping, billing or collections: BOOK- Create an action plan to ensure the END. Bookending is a very valuable Begin building cash reserves-no mat- business bookkeeping records are tool for you and the person you call. ter how humble. clean, orderly and accurate. It's a form of service and commit- ment to recovery for all parties Compare prices before contracting, Be willing to be both in charge and involved. giving an order, or signing a check. responsible for all aspects of your When it's time write a check, stop all business. Professional help-account- Be aware of the competition, but other activities and THINK. ants, lawyers and consultants-are don't worry about it. There is enough working for you and are not your for everybody. It is and abundant uni- Don't debt "one day at a time" and business' higher power verse. Consider your competition as keep coming back to D.A. and B.D.A. Business Debtors Anonymous Recovery Issues This is a compilation of 2 lists: • We came to know that through • We learn to operate our business Our goal is to be willing and able to business highs and business lows, along spiritual lines and find that build a prosperous, debt-free and sol- we were going nowhere unless we operating in integrity and being of vent business using the principles of were on our spiritual track. service is profitable. the program in all our business and personal affairs. To accomplish this, • We accumulate cash reserves, • We place all agreements in writ- we took the following actions: pay our bills and employees on time, ing. pay ourselves a regular salary with • We detached from the business benefits and vacation time and build • We budget our time realistically with a renewed commitment to the a thriving, prosperous, debt-free and and focus our work time on generat- business. financially solvent business. ing revenue.

• We surrendered to the idea that • We take responsibility for our busi- • We value our goods and services we are neither our business nor our ness commitments and obligations and price them accordingly. debts. and remember that we are in charge of the professionals who work for us. • We made a commitment to our- • We maintain contact with our selves, to God and our pressure • We maintain clear and orderly sponsors, pressure relief group and Relief Groups to repay all our credi- financial records and eliminate friends in the program, continue to tors. unnecessary clutter. attend DA and BDA meetings, and perform service in our recovery. • We took the salaries, benefits and • We have clear knowledge of our vacation time due us on a regular overhead, operating expenses, pric- • We are willing and able to ask for basis, just as we expected our ing, profit, accounts receivable, help when we need it and trust in the employees to do. accounts payable and all our assets care and guidance of our higher and liabilities. power. • We worked spiritually with other people—employees, vendors, clients, • We have a business plan, and • We are at peace with ourselves and competitors—remembering that goals and visions for ourselves and and allow our businesses to grow it is principles before personalities. our businesses. and expand harmoniously. 5 Additional Tools for Business Debtors Anonymous We keep separate professional and pare prices before making purchases. ciples before personalities. personal financial records and bank accounts. We maintain clarity about the over- We bookend before and after making head and profit margins of every commitments and difficult business We write annual one-year business product or service we sell. decisions or actions. plans with definable and accountable goals & targets. We pay our bills and invoice our We are willing to be in charge and clients promptly. responsible for our business. We keep clean, orderly and accurate financial records, including Accounts We put all our business agreements Professionals such as accountants, Receivable, Accounts Payable, Cash in writing and write our own Letters of lawyers, and consultants who work on Hand, Inventory, Assets, and Agreement. for us are not our higher power. Outstanding Debts, and put all tax and bill due dates on our calendar. We notice the competition, but don’t As grateful as we are for these tools worry about it. We learn from our for business owners and other tools We pay ourselves a salary including competitors and trust that it is an of DA, we have found that it is only benefits, medical insurance, vaca- abundant universe with more than through working the Twelve Steps of tions, and sick days. enough for everyone. Debtors Anonymous that lasting sol- vency, recovery, and serenity may be We remain mindful that dollars spent We detach from difficult personalities obtained for our businesses and our- should generate revenue and com- and poor paying clients and put prin- selves.

“I am grateful to be a part of this mutually supportive community of people committed to their visions, D.A. has expanded my belief in what’s possible, encouraged me to go for my vision, and erased my willingness to ‘settle.’ I have faith that with continued commitment to the D.A. principles that are true for me, my gratitude and loving partnership with the Universal Life Spirit, and my willingness to grow and change, I will complete the creation of my vision: a life where I am happy, successful, prosperous and of service, doing what I love to do.” - A Currency of Hope, Pages 93 & 94 The Third Step A west coast DA member shares her fell onto the floor. When I had col- my most basic needs. I was angry experience with the Third Step. lected myself I got up and scooped with God, and was mumbling my pile of credit card pieces into my obscenities as I walked. I came Made a decision to turn our will and God Box. That was the day I first across a crumpled piece of paper our lives over to the care of God as took the Third Step in DA. The credit that looked like money, so I reached we understood him. cards have stayed in God's hands for down and picked it up. It turned out over two years, and miracle after mir- to be a $100.00 bill. God is taking I'll never forget the day I cut up my acle has kept me from debting, one care of me. credit cards, and made a commit- day at time for the entirety of those ment to myself and to my Higher two years. Keeping myself close to the Third Power to not incur any new unse- Step is an important part of my pro- cured debt, one day at a time. I had The loving, caring God of the Third gram. Believing I am being taken three credit cards and a pair of scis- Step is such an important part of my care of by a loving Higher Power is sors. My hand was shaking and I life. There have certainly been times what gives me courage to take fright- was sobbing. It wasn't enough to just I have doubted I was being taken ening action steps towards improving cut them in half, or even quarters. I care of. Once I was walking down my life. I thank God every day for cut them each into about twenty little the sidewalk, gripped by fear, won- the many blessings that fill my life. pieces. By the time I was done my dering how I was going to have sobbing had turned into a wail, and I enough money that month for even -- P. J. L.

Dear God, So far today I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped or lost my temper. I haven’t been greedy or grumpy or nasty or selfish or indulgent. And I’m very thankful for that. But God, in a few minutes, I’m going to get out of bed - and from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot more help! Amen! --Anonymous 6 “It did matter what our spiritual condition was. . . . Money gradually became our servant, not our master. It became a means of exchanging love and service with those about us. . . We found that freedom from fear was more important than freedom from want.” Negotiation What I have found is that it’s best in They are not the big horrible all pow- assertively repeat, over & over, what I any negotiation to immediately move erful authoritarian corporate conglo- want in a negotiation, I don’t give in to up to the next person (supervisor, VP) morate monsters I thought they were. offers, I hold out for what I want and whenever I am being told that I can’t & I never have to beg again. need to stay solvent & abstinant from have what I want. That usually debting. means that the person I am talking to Another thing I learned in DA is that doesn’t have the authority to make my needs come first. That my Making bookending calls is essential that decision. So I need to find financial health is important, my life for me. It helps to keep me reminded someone who can. Many times it’s depends on my staying solvent & this that I am not alone in this. That the the VP in charge of that department. is the attitude I bring to any negotia- whole DA program is behind me. tion. That I have a spending plan I have negotiated with Eckerd and am living my life on a cash basis If a creditor is pushing me to make a Drugstore to drop legal fees of $130. & I know exactly how much money I deal, I tell them I need to consult with added to a bounced check ($7.57). I have in each catagory & exactly how my financial advisors (Pressure Relief went up the ladder, from supervisor to much money I can afford to put Group) & will get back to them about supervisor & no one could give me toward this transaction. & I am willing this in a specific amount of time. Then what I wanted. So I got the phone # to show my numbers, exactly how I when I call again, if they don’t accept of the corporate office & called the am paying back all my creditors my proposal, I don’t get angry or start President’s office. They made a call & equally in proportion to what I owe begging, I just move up to that per- I finally got what I wanted—to pay the each of them. That I am turning my son’s supervisor or the VP of that amount I owed them without the legal life around with the help of Debtors department, & tell my story fees. Anonymous. That I am commited to again. It works when we work it, so pay back all my debts. That bank- work it we’re worth it! This is the DA way. We are learning ruptcy is not an option for me. The to be negotiators, and damn good whole thing changes once I see these Keep trying, it gets better all the time, ones. One of the first things I learned negotiations this way, and I represent we cannot fail, with DA. in DA is that all the people I negotiate myself as a pro. There is nothing like with are just people doing their jobs. it. In DA I learned to calmly, -- Gretchen Debtors Anonymous 2005 World Service Conference August 24 - 28, 2005

The 19th annual DA World Service Information will be updated regularly Service Representatives (GSR’s), Conference will take place at the at the GSB and NJPA website: Intergroup Service Representative Radisson Hotel in Mt. Laurel, New (ISR’s) and the General Service Jersey (Philadelphia Area). www.debtorsanonymous.org and Board gather to review the state of www.njpada.org the D.A. fellowship, work on topics Estimated Costs are $280 confer- such as new D.A. Literature and new ence registration before July 15, after The World Service Conference is the outreach methods, and vote on July 15 $380, $435 Lodging & Meals, annual business meeting of Debtors important issues affecting D.A. as a $45 gala (dinner/dance/talent show). Anonymous. It is where Group whole.

Editorial Policy: This is your newsletter. We are always interested in your contributions com- ments and experience in the D.A. way of life. Publication of any contributions or editorial opinions does not imply endorsement by D.A. as a whole, but of the indi- viduals who wrote them. Material submitted cannot be returned. We reserve the right to edit all material, and it is understood that other 12 Step groups, without permission, may reprint all copy. Send contributions as typed or handwritten sub- missions to: Bottom Line, 420 Wyncoop Ct., Holland, PA 18966. Or send as text in the body of an email to [email protected].

The Intergroup Association of Debtor's Anonymous of Greater New York was Founded in 1983 by John H.