Phillipe & Jorge’
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Phillipe & Jorge’s Cool, Cool World: Andre, Eye Candy and Local Tidbits Giant Steps Phillipe and Jorge’s movie of the week has to be Andre the Giant, now running on HBO stations. Andre Roussimoff was the famously huge French wrestler who became a cult figure and huge draw in the wrestling world (and The Princess Bride) in the 1980s, but who eventually fell victim to the gigantism that saw him reach over 7 feet tall and 400 pounds. Phillipe actually had a chance to interview Andre the Giant when he came to wrestle at the old Rocky Hill Fairgrounds in East Greenwich, a time when P was doing his sports column, “On the Ball and Off the Wall.” This was back before the glitz, light shows, blaring rock music and packed arenas arrived with the WWF and “Wrestlemania,” and even the biggest stars regularly did barnstorming tours to such glamorous sites as Rocky Hill. On this occasion he was headlining along with the legendary Fabulous Moolah, who, while a pioneer in women’s wrestling, had to be in her 40s at the time. But she, like Andre, could put asses in seats. At any rate, in a scene resembling something out of a Marx Brothers movie, P ended up crammed into a single-wide trailer that was like a hothouse along with the massive Andre, Moolah and another wrestler, Pat Patterson, who spent the entire time of P’s interviews with Andre and Moolah bumming cigarettes off of him. But Andre was a gentle giant — pardon the cliché — and was sucking down beers and politely answering questions, until P asked about the matches being scripted, and did he enjoy the theater aspect? At this, Andre glared down at him (and P is 6’3” on his own) and said, “There is nothing funny about wrestling.” This signaled the end of the interview, but Moolah graciously said we could do her interview outside. Andre went on to do some acting jobs in Hollywood (The Princess Bride, notably), but his body was breaking down due to the gigantism and he died at age 47 when his heart gave out. But the documentary provides an incredible look at an amazing man. Clueless The bad taste bell started ringing at Casa Diablo as soon as the special NFL draft double issue of Sports Illustrated came through the mail slot recently. On the cover was a photo of a shirtless Penn State star running back Saquon Barkley, augmented by a photo inside of Barkley leaping with a football wearing only football pants and cleats. Sort of like SI’s version of their notorious swimsuit issue, but this for the ladies and the superior behavior crowd. Barkley deserved the exposure, so to speak, as he was the second overall pick in the eventual draft a week later. But it seemed a bit offensive to have a Penn State player a-flexing and a-swinging in a national magazine given Penn State’s recent horrific sex scandal regarding assistant coach Jerry Sandusky’s having abused and raped young men at PSU, which was shamefully covered up for years. That led to time in prison for him, and the cover-up cost previously revered head coach Joe Paterno his job and his legacy. We hope Sandusky isn’t allowed Sports Illustrated while in chokey. How any editor at SI could be that clueless and tone deaf about this layout boggles the mind. But that’s why they call sports the toy section at newspapers. Awful Tower So New York developer Jason Fanes’ hideous proposed 46-story residential tower on the old I-195 land next to the Providence River is going to be Our Little Towne’s Eiffel Tower? Not bloody likely, and P & J can’t believe he had the audacity to claim that at a recent public hearing. Might P & J suggest Eyeful Tower? Or even better, Awful Tower? Then again, selling any blind pig in La Prov always will have takers. RIPTA World Your superior correspondents are pleased to see that longtime Casa Diablo regular, Scott Avedisian, will be stepping down as mayor of Warwick in order to take on the duties of head ramrod at RIPTA. Jorge (Rudy Cheeks), who has been a RIPTA rider for decades, suggests that there should be a representative of the bus drivers’ union and a person who is a regular passenger serving on the board of directors for RIPTA. We are not sure if Scott or Governor Raimondo is the person who appoints the board, but we would implore both of them to support such an initiative. We believe such additions would improve service. (We may be wrong, but P&J believe that there is no one currently on the board of directors or in any leadership position at RIPTA who regularly rides the buses.) Quote of the Month for April, 2018 The Bellowing Bonehead (and Vo Dilun’s leading Trump supporter), Joe Trillo, stated in an op-ed piece in the BlowJo, regarding a recent incident of obvious racial profiling at a Starbucks coffee shop in Philadelphia, Penn, (referring to Starbucks CEO, Kevin Johnson, who apologized on behalf the company): “Grow a backbone, Mr. Johnson.” Our response to Mr. Trillo (who somehow thinks his ignorant bleatings will get him elected governor of RI: “Grow a brain and an ability to empathize with people other than men with a dearth of melanin, Mr. Trillo.” Phillipe & Jorge’s Cool, Cool World: JARheads, Candidates and Kudos & Congrats JARheads Phillipe and Jorge are a bit late to the party concerning the Sinclair Broadcasting/Channel 10 debacle over shilling for President Pussy Grabber, but we’ve never been averse to putting the boot in once a man is down. To be brief, Sinclair, which is owner of WJAR-Channel 10 and nearly 200 other local stations in the country, are professional Trump stalking horses, and remain a despicable member of the media. They coerced (no doubt with the threat of handing them a pink slip) their stations nationwide, including the JARheads, to put two of their on-air folks (in this case Frank Coletta and Alison Bologna) to deliver their distorted message. They then read, hostage tape-style, a screed that chastised “other” media outlets for airing the Orange Orangutan’s favorite fallback, fake news, while assuring us all that Channel 10 was above that. That flawed and arrogant presentation has been widely and rightly condemned in the national media, and locally in pieces by Urinal editor Alan Rosenberg and a biting Urinal op-ed by former TV anchor Dave Layman (see “Kudos and Congrats” below). The problem here is the heavy-handed demand of all stations to put on the same holier-than-thou pontificating as a “must run” piece, along the lines of other Sinclair-mandated “must run” pro-Trump commentaries like those of Boris Epshtyn, a former Trump senior advisor, thundering on in a thinly veiled promotion of the president’s policies under the Sinclair flag. This was hilariously (and frighteningly) pulled together by the website Deadspin in a montage of dozens of stations, including Channel 10, rote reading the pre-scripted dialogue that reeked of Orwell’s Big Brother or a North Korean televised public appearance by Kim Jong-Un with the audience applauding like trained seals with the fear of a gun barrel being pressed against their temple otherwise. The gun in this case is the offensive “no compete” clause in most all contracts for on-air personalities, which whether the person quits or is fired, prohibits them from appearing on another station in the same media market for a year. That means anyone who can’t make it for a year without getting a paycheck had either to suck it up or start rehearsing their “Would you like fries with that?” delivery. As far as Alison Bologna is concerned, she is a very replaceable talking hairdo whom the JARheads could replace in a heartbeat. She no doubt understands that and was loathe to throw a career and salary out the window. But Coletta is a different story. Frank is a local lad who famously appeared as a kid on the legendary Salty Brine’s children’s show on WJAR back in the Paleozoic, and has been an almost ever-present, recognizable and popular figure on the station’s airway since he joined the JARheads. His avuncular, warmly smiling presence on the morning news has become the face of Channel 10. P&J have also always considered him a friend, and have admired his work, as well as hearing through our backchannel sources at WJAR that he was a stand-up guy who has gone to bat for his co-workers when the situation demanded. In this case, Coletta appears to have been on his knees rather than his hind legs. If there was anyone who could have stood up to Sinclair’s thuggish oafs, it was Coletta. There would be public outcry if he was axed for not kowtowing to his all-controlling masters at Sinclair, because as all Vo Dilunders know, we can criticize a home boy or girl, but you don’t let an outsider dare go after one of our own. That is the reason why Coletta’s fall from grace impacts the credibility of the entire JARhead news department. If you can turn Frank, you can turn anyone. If we can’t trust our old buddy to just be a front man for a bunch of corporate media greedheads, upon whom can we rely? And the compromise is complete. You can’t regain your virginity, and you can’t be “just a little bit” pregnant.