Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Spring 4-22-1994

Volume 29 - Issue 23 - Friday, April 22, 1994

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 29 - Issue 23 - Friday, April 22, 1994" (1994). The Rose Thorn Archive. 883. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/883

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Vol. 29, No. 23 1111111111N Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology --- Friday, April 22, 1994 Campus News Briefs 1940's Foundation invites Rose New York comes to life tonight to make presentation by Lisa Young Drama Club The Olin Foundation has Director Bunny Nash says, A familiar invited Rose-Hulman to make a face will greet audiences for -Parke has so much experience and confidence on presentation to its board in Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Drama stage. He is a dream to work with." Minneapolis. Rose will request Club's pnxluction of the musical "Guys and The musical itself was written in the 1940s as funding for an addition to the Dolls" this and next weekend. Parke Lucas, a a family comedy everyone can enjoy. "Guys & existing Olin Hall, and Dr. freshman from Plainfield, is following the Dolls" is set in post-World War II, the Hulbert believes that the request musical footsteps of centers for a presentation is a "very his older brother, Ed, a crowd around New York gamblers and the Salva- positive sign." favorite as the leading man in the drama club's tion Army members who try to save their souls. production of- The Mystery ofEdwin Drood" The fun begins when gambler Sky Masterson Results of blood drive in 1990. The physics graduate now lives in (Lucas) accepts a bet to ask Salvation Army Ser- Donna Gustafson, director of New Jersey, where he has performed in a vari- geant Sarah brown out for lunch. the Hulman Student Union, ety of off-Broadway productions. Six productions are planned in the Moench reported that 216 pints of blood Parke enjoys entertaining audiences - in Hall Auditorium during the next two weekends. were donated at the Alpha Phi plays, concerts and chumh services. As Sky Performances are scheduled at 8:00 p.m. on Fri- Omega / Interfratemity Council / Masterson, the central character in the enter- day and Saturday, 1:30 p.m. on Sunday, 8:00 p.m. Residence Hall Association blood taining musical -Guys & Dolls," the time has on April 29, along with 1:30 p.m. and 8 p.m. drive held on April 13. come for the young Lucas to be in the spot- shows on April 30. Tickets are $6 for adults and Indiana Society of light However, Parke does not feel, -Just $4 for those 18 years old and younger. Rose-Hul- PmfeAonal Engineers because Ed did it, I'm going to do it Perform- man students are admitted free with id. For ticket Stholarship ing is something we both enjoy." information, call 877-8275. A $750 scholarship is being offered by the Indiana Society of Professional Engineers(ISPE) for Rose gets annual facelift students who have accrued the by Jeff Nord Asgambkr Sky Masterson, Row's Parke Lucas attempts to win the minimum of one-half the credits Stucimits. It all begiis at 8:30am., behind Moeixti affedions ofSalvation Army Sergeant Sarah Ekown,played by St. or credit hours for an Thorn reporter Mary ofthe Woods'Jenny Marwhland Hall by the white buildings, where volunteers are undergraduate engineering degree This Saturday is Rose-Hulman's 10th and to meet There, tools and assignments will be are residents of Indiana. Annual Campus Beautification Day. Rxiirdy projects from previous years was the brick wall by the upparlass ISPE recognizes that picked up. From then until 11:30 am.,the helpers halls, which was replaced last year. engineering professions are known as Campus Clean-up Day, this event will work on various projects as designated by Generally,about 2(X)people have shown up to help out per year. based upon a good engineering gives Rose-Hulman students and organizations Grounds and Housekeeping. Items on the list this education, and understands the This year, 16 Rose- Hulman campus organizations are planning on a chance to improve the appearance ofthe cam- year include: add sand to the beads, add riprap to need for encouragement and participating. In addition, anyone else wanting to lend a hand is pus by plaiting new plants and tires and by the small lake, seal the walks, paint peaking lines, financial aid. The scholarship has encouraged to show up behind Moench Hall at 8:30 am. been established in the interest of cleaning up various areas of our campus. The rake and bag leaves, replace broken parking At the conclusion of the clean-up activities, at 11:30 am.,a pig providing an engineering career date of Campus Beautification Day is timed to bumpers,and plant trees and &WM "ff you look roast will be held oft the patio in front ofthe Union Building for all for Indiana residents. correspond with Patents' Weekend and Greek around campus at what has been accomplished, Scholarship awards will be i those who helped out In additioz participants will each receive a which are next weekend.'Tie purpose major gardening endeavor that determined on the basis of the Games, just about every T-shirt and the satisfaction ofknowing that they helped make their over the last ten years has been following criteria.- is to get a lot done in a short periul of time, end they have done campus a more attactive place to pursue an education. - academic standing in an we do,"said Pete Gustafson, A ssofiare Dean of done on this day," said Gustafscn. One of the accredited engineering course of study - participation in extra- ire of students, clubs curricular activities SGA raises - comments of instructors, by Ben Crawford out that the SAB did not send any repre- Jones feels that the SGA is only year to set up, reflecting why the SAB administrators and society Thorn Reporter sentatives to the meeting. Past SAB hurting the students by this action, and sets up events so far in advance. members who have conducted a president Phil Endres explains the says, "I have full confidence we'll get It is clear that the matter needs to Personal interview with the Recent funding cuts by the SGA our budget back." be settled. Both SGA and SAB mem- applicant have resulted in a backlash against the SAB's lack of"big name"entertainment facilities bers seem to feel that the SAB is in no Applications and further Senate and executive committee. The as due mainly to lack of decent Another factor in the signings was information can be obtained from real danger of being eliminated. How- elimination of the Student Activity at Rose. While an act lilce -They Might -block bookings." SAB advisor Donna Ronald G. Reeves in the says ever, while the senate feels its action budget, a quarter of the money Be Giants" may cost $7000, Gustafson says that some bookings are Templeton Building. Board's was justified, the SAB feels that they handles, has set off the great- Endres, the speakers and other equip- made in connection with other schools, the SGA should have been, at the very least, What's Inside... ment norisary to put on the show will sot that the airfare, hotels etc., can be set est number of responses. On Tuesday, was not 2 $4000-$5000, and informed that the situation Campus Calendar April 19, the Senate unanimously cost an additional up more inexpensively. Such bookings enough to put on what it appeared. Rose Bush 2 voted to completely eliminate the there is no facility laige often take between six months and a Shook Fieldhouse, Opinions: SAB's proposed $25,000 budget SGA the concert except acoustics. In addition, Integrated Curriculum 3 Vice President Ashvin Lad explained which has temble memo before his term SAB funding cut 3 the Senate's action, saying that the SAB Endres received a stating that funding had William Raspberry 4 has been showing the same perfor- of office expired approved, which is why no repre- National College News: mances every year, and also has been been sentatives from the SAB were sent to the Student buys island.... 4 presenting acts that, he feels, are infe- meeting. Unbeknownst to Endres, the Sports: rior as a whole to other schools with funding had actually cleared only the 5 similar or lesser budgets. He cites the Track made Evansville, which he finance committee, which was not Bulletin Board 7 University of band clear in the memo. He also cites that the 7 states has acts such as alternative Organizations is having its clearance -Toad the Wet Sprocket" on a $20,000 official budget Top Ten 8 that the SAB can get its bud- dollar budget Lad also explains how delayed, so Outland 8 by then. the matter was debated for thirty min- get approved utes before being closed, and that the Current SAB head Brett Jones WEEKEND WEATHER: meeting lasted two and a half hours. He seems to feel much the same way. He High feels Today — Sunny and cool. also wants to make it clear that he thinks that the vote was made "mainly in the middle 60's and the SAB will get their money. out of ignorance," not only about what colder later. does, but also about activities SGA Treasurer Jeff Wrana had the SAB —Mostly sunny and booked for next year. Seven Saturday many similar opinions, stating that the already around 70. totalling close to $10,000 plus warmer. High Senate was just trying to get the SAB's events, hotels, and, meals have been Sunday —Partly sunny and opinions. One factor that he thinks led airfare, that signed for next year, the cancellation of budget. warm to the Senate's action is the feeling With a transparency. Rob Wallace clarifies an issue regarding SGA's which would result in a breach of con- Photo by James Mann the SAB was not getting the student's opinions on the issues. He also points tract • April 22, 1994 Thorn • Campus News Page 2 The Rose Campus Calendar The Rose Bush FRIDAY, APRIL 22 Information Last Day To Drop Course Without Penalty Campus News and Production,"Guys & Dolls," Moench Hall Social Defiance Drama Club CORSAGES FOR Marginalization and Auditorium, 8 p.m. of Women in Literature." Army ROTC Military Ball, SMWC,7 p.m. PARENT'S DAY JOBS IN Course, Indianapolis SUMMER Golf, at ICAC Championships, Deer Creek Golf Alpha Phi Omega is offering ADMINISTRATIVE 23 mothers, wives, and SATURDAY,APRIL corsages for SERVICES girlfriends to wear for Parent's Campus Beautification Day few Hall with profits Administrative Services has a Drama Club Production,"Guys & Dolls," Moench Weekend. The cost is $7 orders openings for summer jobs. If you are Auditorium, 8 p.m. going to service projects. All 26. interested, please check with Karen Production, Ventriloquist Don Horn, WORX,8 p.m. must be in by Tuesday, April SAB between Pershing, Room DL111 or Steve Washington University, Art Nehf Field, 1 p.m.(DH) Corsages must be picked up Baseball, Miller, Room DL110 no later than Championships, Deer Creek Golf Course, Indianapolis 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. on Saturday, April Golf, at ICAC May 2. Lafayette 30, on the lower level of Hadley Hall. Track, at Purdue Invitational, West THE Tennis, vs. Augustana College, Elmhurst, Ill., 10 a.m. WOMEN IN SUBMISSIONS TO Tennis, vs. Millikin University, Elmhurst, Ill., 3 p.m. LITERATURE ROSE BUSH WEEK OF APRIL 24-30 Caroline Carvill, Julia Williams, Submissions to the Rose Bush SUNDAY, APRIL 24 and Heidemarie Heeter will present an should be made through the mailroom April 25, before noon each Wednesday. Drama Club Production,"Guys & Dolls," Moench Hall HSLS seminar on Monday, to Submissions may also be made to the Auditorium, 1:30 p.m. from 2:20 to 4:00 in A220. Feel free to "Sister Acts: Campus Editor at the Thorn office. Golf, at Wittenberg Invitational, Springfield, Ohio stop by and listen MONDAY,APRIL 25 HSLS Colloquium,"Results Of Women's Studies Committee," by Caroline Carvill, Heidemarie Heeter and Julia Williams, The Rose Bureaucrat A-220, 2:30 p.m. President Rob Wallace opened the presented for discussion and TUESDAY, APRIL 26 19 April 1994 meeting of the SGA approval. Two notable changes were SGA Club Council Meeting, PA Room, 4:30 p.m. Senate with a letter from President made. The Volleyball Club was Baseball, Univ. of Southern Indiana, Art Nehf Field, 2 p.m.(DH) Hulbert supporting the efforts of the awarded an extra $346.50 for Fencing Club Meeting, Shook Fieldhouse, 7 p.m. Engineering Internship Committee. volleyballs that had been cut from WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27 Treasurer Jeff Wrana presented a their budget due to a misjudgment on President's Administrative Council, PA Room, Hulman Union, 8 a.m. motion to change the mileage the part of one of the club's Tennis, Vincennes University, Rose-Hulman Courts, 4 p.m. reimbursement rate for SGA representatives. The budget for the Solar Phantom Team Meeting, B-109, 7 p.m. sponsored clubs to 29 cents per mile, Student Activities Board was cut THURSDAY,APRIL 28 in order to make the rate for SGA completely, pending their appearance sponsored clubs the same as the rate before the Senate to discuss growing Applied Optics Colloquium,"Electron Collisions And Multiphoton for other institute organizations. The Ionizations," Xianming Han, Butler University, GM discontent with the quality of the acts measure was approved. In his report, that are appearing at Rose-Hulman. Room, 4:20 p.m. Treasurer Wrana also informed the HSLS Colloquium,"From The European Community To The European Senate that the general fund currently A resolution on the position of the Unity," Norbert Kohlbase, Visiting Fulbright Scholar From stands at approximately $2600. Senate toward IFYCSEM was Bonn, Germany, E-104, 4:30 p.m. Senator Dan Rubin reported that the introduced, but it was deferred to FRIDAY, APRIL 29 Book Exchange Committee is in the committee for further revision. A Parent's Weekend process of developing software to resolution was presented that Drama Club Production,"Guys & Dolls," Moench Hall facilitate the book exchange. This positions the SGA in favor of Auditorium, 8 p.m. system should be available by the end acquiring more construction space for Basketball Marathon, Shook Fieldhouse, 6 p.m.(through 6 p.m. of the quarter. the Solar Phantom Club and the Saturday) The Senate took up the issue of SCUBA Club's human-powered Golf, at Illinois Wesleyan Invitational, Bloomington, Ill. President Wallace's veto of the Gun submarine project. The resolution SATURDAY, APRIL 30 Club's recent request of $1450 for was approved. guns,supplies, and room renovations. 66th Annual Rose Show, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Proposed amendments to the President Wallace urged the Senate Parent's Weekend Senate's presented not to override his veto, but to instead constitution were * Alpha Phi Omega Corsage Sale, Hadley Hall, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. so the approve the $750 figure the Gun Club that they may be voted upon at * Lunch, Main Dining Room, Hulman Union, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. had quoted at the last Senate meeting next Senate meeting. See your senator * Family Cookout, E.E. Black Center, 5-6 p.m. as the amount needed for room for details. Drama Club Production,"Guys & Dolls," Moench Hall Auditorium, renovations. After much debate, 1:30 and 8 p.m. The Rose Bureaucrat is a $1100 was approved for room publication ofthe SGA Senate. All Baseball, at Franklin College, Franklin, 1 p.m.(ICAC DH) renovations. This amount is expected Rose students are welcome to visit the Track, at ICAC Championships, Greencastle to be vetoed. SGA office to discuss issues or read Golf, at Illinois Wesleyan Invitational, Bloomington, Ill. Next year's SGA budget was the minutes. Tennis, at Huntington College, Huntington, 9 a.m. Tennis, at Manchester College, North Manchester, 2 p.m. WEEK OF MAY 1-7 FUTURE FILE MAY 8 -- SUNDAY, MAY 1 Baseball, Wabash College, Art Nehf Field, 1 p.m.(DH) MAY 11 -- JV Schmidt Memorial Lecture,"If IBM's Firing, Who's Hiring?," Robert Baseball, at Olney Central College, Olney, Ill., 1 p.m.(DH) TUESDAY, MAY 3 Compton, General Partner, CID Equity Partners MAY 11 -- Video Conference, Class President Elections, Student Commons, All Day "Engineering And People With Disabilities," GM Room, 4-5 p.m. Registration For Fall Quarter, Shook Fieldhouse MAY SGA Senate Meeting, GM Room, 4:30 p.m. 14-15 -- ICAC Baseball Tournament MAY Fencing Club, Shook Fieldhouse, 7 p.m. 23-26 -- Final Exams For Spring Quarter JV Baseball, Lincoln Trail College, Art MAY 27 -- Army/Air Nehf Field, 2:30 p.m. Force ROTC Commission Ceremony, GM Room,2 p.m. WEDNESDAY, MAY 28 -- MAY 4 Commencement, Shook Fieldhouse, II a.m. President's Administrative Council, PA Room, 8 a.m. ORGANIZATION NOTICES: Information on club meetings, lectures/ Solar Phantom Team Meeting, B-109, 7 p.m. speeches, and athletic events must be received before noon each Wednesday. SATURDAY, MAY 7 Please contact Dale Long, associate director Baseball, of communications, at Box 14 or Eureka College, Art Nehf Field, 1 p.m.(DH) extension 8418. The Rose Thorn• Opinions • April 22, 1994 Page 3 SAB member responds Wallace's survey was overtly biased by Chris Lawrence to funding cut freshman non-integrated 13-credit load (excluding Thorn Columnist HU electives, etc.) of between 11 and 12 "lecture" Last week, the Thorn published the by Scott Allen plans to hire. The answer to results of hours and three to six "lab" hours in Calculus, that the SGA survey on the Integrated Campus Editor and dilemma is simple. If Curriculum, Chemistry and Mechanics. IC students are also they sent a along with an opinion piece SAB Member written by SGA Pres- faced with the additional burdens of frequent representative to the SAB meet- ident Rob Wallace. Allow me to ask you a ques- The articles that ran on the group projects and an intensive ings, they would know everything front page three-hour test tion: Did you attend the Senate and on the Opinions page were, to say every two weeks. that is going on. Performances are the meeting on Tuesday? I wish I had, least, somewhat unfair and colored with the planned well in advance, but I was spending my afternoon and any- prejudice of their authors. Much of this is due to As for the lack of student input Wallace cites, one can learn whom preparing for Sandy Fries' visit to we are bring- the fact that the survey questions, rather than being he should be aware that students in the IC program ing to the campus. He gave a very good campus. objective, were based on rumor and innuendo. are barraged by surveys, questionnaires, and eval- Wallace then attempted uations that are used to help talk about "Star Trek: The Next Perhaps the reason given was to draw unsubstantiatable improve the program. Generation." But, while conclusions from these Indeed, these recommendations I was that SAB was not acquiring per- questions; conclusions that are apparently finalizing everything, SGA even his Senate was unable to improving the program; one aspect voted formers that the students liked. agree with. of the statistics to eliminate the Student Activities Wallace, in his article, that SGA chose not to expound upon was First, that is why the organization implied that the "com- the fact Board's funding for next year. mittee whose job it is to establish that this year's freshman IC students have higher is composed of students. Everyone an integrated Senators, are you aware of curriculum of sophomores" (his praise for the program than those who no longer is welcome to come to the Worx emphasis) was what your choice has done? SAB some sort of secret conspiracy that nobody have to deal with the additional workload. every Thursday night at 7:00 and knows provides a service on this campus about; in actual fact, this committee has existed offer input about whom to con- for Wallace is correct that IC is not for everyone. that no other organization does. quite some time, is not secret, and is still in the sider or contact for performing on Students who have more than 15 hours of Members of the SAB arrange the planning stages. It is unlikely that a sophomore campus. SAB is for the students, Advanced Placement credit probably don't want to Homecoming show and hire lec- integrated curriculum would be implementable and if only a certain number retake the entire sequence just to pick up Cale III turers and performers to entertain of stu- within the next year, and it is probable that a the dents attend, then and Chem II; some students may prefer to have a Rose-Hulman community. those are the "sophomore IC" would be a set of major-focused SAB members do all ones, of less abrupt adjustment to the realities of college the work course, who will make the programs, rather than one huge, catch-all curricu- life. However, the price that without any incentives other than decisions. Come to a meeting. lum, as is the case with IFYCSEM. IC students pay in the satisfaction of organizing a Find out what we their freshman year appears to improve their post- do. Tell us what Wallace also implies that this sort of curricular good performance. Hundreds of needs freshman experience; the IC students, on average, to be done, don't just elimi- integration is a bad thing; I tend to disagree, as students attend and enjoy the have significantly higher (0.2 grade points or nate our budget without warning. would anyone who has learned vectors events.(Did you attend Las Vegas "for the more)cumulative first time" in GPAs. Night?) Additionally, the SAB con- four classes, learned integration "for the first time" in three, learned first order differen- The bottom line: IC works. Does the Senate think that stu- ducted a survey this fall, and stu- It's a successful tial equations in four classes, etc. program that, dents no longer deserve to attend dents indicated that they want by and large, turns out better engi- That these activities? Or does the Sen- famous groups. It would be nice to is not to dismiss Wallace's fears about a neers and scientists than the regular curriculum, current freshman ate intend to organize these events be able to do this, but it isn't possi- IC that has some flaws, perhaps and it's a program that has helped Rose become a more in structure themselves? I believe that SGA ble for this organization. With than concept. IC can be a real nationally-recognized engineering college. Per- destroyer of time; the basic 12-credit haps has attempted to do this before. rental of an appropriate area SEIOx Wallace should have looked at the facts, not course has nine "lecture" hours and nine "labora- the opinions of others, Senators were discussing a concert (Metallica in the dining hall?), before he formulated his tory" hours of class a week, as opposed to a position on the Integrated Curriculum. between Rose-Hulman,St. Mary's, security, insurance, and so forth, and ISU. Not much came of that. the cost can exceed $100,000. That Surely they realize now how much simply can't be done here. work it is to organize a perfor- mance. Has the Senate thought about I am not sure of the reasons how to deal with the legally bind- given for the elimination of SAB's ing contracts that have already budget. Perhaps the reason was the been signed for next year? And did , RoSsitk,POLITickl.RERAM CoRTIRUES_ excessive request of the budget. I the Senators even consult the con- realize that a $25,000 request stituents about their decision seems to be a lot of money, but this beforehand? SGA is composed of is actually about only $6.40 a per- people who are supposed to repre- son each quarter, and all students sent the views of the students. are encouraged to get their mon- asked for ey's worth by seeing the entertain- How many students were ment. This money, not even $20 a their opinions on SAB? After all, year, comes out of the $90 student there is a better way to get infor- activities fee that everyone pays. mation than giving away free pop. And this pays for numerous come- Go talk to those who elected you. dians, lecturers, and musicians. And to the voters, find out what Maybe SGA wants to be made your representatives are doing. It is aware of the performers that SAB your money. Take charge of it. The Rose Thorn 5500 Wabash Avenue,Box 170 Terre Haute,Indiana 47803-3999 tfltotillh& Phone:(812) 877-8255 Distreels0 by Tibia. Midi Swans Editor-in-Chief Chad Zigler Features Editor Paul Sigler News Editor Troye Welch Sports Editor Adrian Reid &Km Campus Editor Scott Allen Layout Editor Chris Lawrence Photo Editor James Mann Me Wabash Valleys"own Copy Editor Frank Pfeiffer Advertising Manager Phillip Stolz Business Manager Doug Ihrig Advisor David Piker Credif Card News Reporters David Hile and Frank Pfeiffer Sports Reporters Brady Neukam and Greg Rossi Serious Journalist Ben Crawford Columnists Chris Lawrence and Frank Pfeiffer • •uurrot N+l'ers Doug Burton, Clayton Dumcum, Jay Moorman,Ira Rainey and • No Annual Fee* Damon Swope Stop by your nearest First The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays at application. Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology banking center for an readers. We The Rose Thom welcomes letters and comments from its The editors request that all letters to the editor be less than 300 words long. length (if over 300 TERRE HAUTE reserve the right to edit letters for grammar clarity and doss year and words). All letters to the editor must contain the writer's signature, publication. Letters may NATIONAL phone number All submissions will be confirmed before FIRST still must contain be sent by electronic mail to T horn@Rose - Hulm an. Edu, but publication, letters Member FDIC the writer's phone number for confirmation. For prompt BANK issue ofthe Thom should be typewritten or printed by computer All letters for an publication. At4444+14 NOW- 14, flo.se must be received before noon on the Tuesday prior to expressed in the Thorn *If card is used at least twice a year. VVe would like to remind our readers that the views than the original author do not necessarily represent the opinions ofanyone other 40'

National • Apnl 22, 1994 The Rose Thorn • Features & Page 4 • • • student buys island• in Wisconsun College can automobiles ever made - a 1976 art of "Junking." his family call "Junking." bought at a U.S.Mar- What would you give to own your Dan and owns an island, free and Cadillac Fleetwood Craig of Theresa, So now Dan Dan Craig, a stu- Dan's father, Daniel help of auction for $1200. As a confirmed very own island? Well, eco- clear. With scrounging and the shal's gave Wisconsin, is the resident guru of an dent at the University of Wisconsin, family and friends, he replaced the funds Junker, Dan has been able to purchase a nomic philosophy he refers to as "Junk- his financial aid. he'd spent and completed his Fall semes- car and an island that many only dream ing," a tongue-in-cheek term he uses to "Impossible," you might say. Of course, he furnished his student the precise, deliberate strategy he ter. Of about. course it sounds absurd, implausible... describe "Junking." Dan has valuable assets at apartment through And yes, Dan sat and lis- employs to purchase comes in College students must practice frugal- almost illegal. buying learned that not all knowledge Thou shalt not low cost. Junking is not just about tened to all the warnings: classrooms; sometimes one needs to learn ity as a war of life. The "Junking" philoso- jeans at rummage sales, it's about waste thy financial aid money on beer and blue for that once-in- realistic way to get through wealth - at pennies on to be resourceful. Ready phy provides a expensive wardrobe; or on acquiring material pizza; an a-lifetime opportunity. Like when an the college rears - and beyond - with style. didn't tell Dan the dollar. throwing parties. But they comes along. At age four, Dan Jr. wasn't old enough island In the leaner, more conservative 90's, the he couldn't use it to buy an island. going to do with his island appreciate his first "Junking" experi- What's Dan Craigs' "Junking" philosophy is a proven Last Fall, Dan spotted his island in a to major, he his father recognized anyway? As a Conservation Clark County Tax Land Sale, submitted ence. That's when financial strategy. hand plans to use the island for ecology studies sealed bid, and acquired a four distinctive chairs in a second the required camping. Through "Junking" he To share their method and experiences, ridiculously low store. Realizing they were the work of and for 10.2 acre island with his sleeping bags, camp Frank Lloyd Wright, the acclaimed archi- has bought tents, the Craigs publish a monthly newsletter, $1601.00 winning bid. His island is a for a paltry stoves, and lanterns to outfit the island at JUNKING." Subscrib- located in Wisconsin's Black River. The tect, he bought the chairs "THE JOYS OF value of these cost of nickels and dimes. Dan says that sandy beaches slope from a height of 10 $3.00. He estimates the ers can send name and address, along with $250,000. Col- his island would also make a superb nudist feet to the clean gravel-bottomed river. chairs to be in excess of $30.00($15.00 Student Rate) to "THE quality furniture, valu- campground. Deer and game fish abound. Who lectors of museum OF JUNKING," P.O.Box 266, Besides his island, this student also JOYS wouldn't envy Dan? able original art, and a private library of owns one of the most magnificent Ameri- Theresa, WI 53091. This is a superb example of what 6,000 volumes, the Craigs have made an After Whitewater, anyone can be a journalist Rose revealed to be last a reporter," "You better enjoy this ride," restaurant the other day with a "Look, I'm just stronghold against the Finns the cabbie said. "It just might be woman who is not your wife?" the cabbie said. "I don't know your last one with me." "Good Lord, man, that was about these technical things. Are by Ben Crawford most vicious assault, the Quad "What's happened?" I asked. just Daisy, a friend of mine." you telling the American people Disciple of Oliver Stone features multiple rifle perches, "The hack inspector condemn "Not a news source or busi- that you claimed a deduction and Recent evidence has come heavy concrete construction, this crate? The repo man associate, eh?" it out?' to light that Rose was designed and booby-trapped stairways ness the IRS threw repel and threaten to take it? You decide to not to train Engineers, but to that are designed to "Not really, but...... if that's protect Indiana against the dev- confuse Finnish crack troops. seek honest employment?" "I wasn't cheating, "So it was social. Have you astating war machine that is Reducing the inevitable "Not at all," the cabbie said. what you had in mind," I told "paper trail" that would form had lunch with her before?" Finland. An informant, known "I've decided to become a jour- him."Let's just say the IRS and I only as "Deep Rectum," has when funding an army the size nalist. I've been watching you "Well, yes, I suppose so." reported this alarming informa- of Rose's, the Special Govern- had a disagreement about the tion to us. mental Alliance, or SGA, was guys a lot recently. You seem to "Dinner?" value of a couple of suits I formed to completely throw make good money, and the work The most obvious evidence "Yes, dammit, dinner. But donated to charity, stuff like that. that Rose is actually a military anyone off the trail, seemingly looks pretty easy to me." my wife was there, too." base is the aircraft hanger, mismanaging funds but I paid the difference, plus inter- He wasn't the first person to known as the "Fieldhouse," secretly laundering it, then post- "Let me get this straight," the est and penalty." observe the ease and grace with used to house the SR-75 Aurora ing misleading numbers in the cabbie said, trying his best to Thorn and depositing indefinite which journalists do their work reconnaissance aircraft look like Sam Donaldson. "You "In other words," the cabbie between its fly-bys of Scandi- amounts of money in non-exis- and conclude that it must be admit to meeting this woman said, "you tried to get away with navia. The large pipeline tent clubs (does anyone know easy. I started to explain to him anybody in the Astronomy night and day, and for reasons tax fraud and they caught you. between the hanger and the education, the on-the-job Moench Hall supplies the J-12 Club?). that had nothing to do with your training, the vast experience that By the way, you wouldn't be fuel refined by the "Chem E.'s" But most surprising are the work...." that shiny blue suit in the High Bay lab, which is three nuclear missile silos on go into our work. talking about "I told you my wife was actually a special division of the west side of campus. "Maybe I could get you a job you used to wear, would you? CIA there!" -trained operatives. Special Located in the center of Mees, as a driver at the newspaper," I Because if that's your charitable forces troops, masquerading as Blumberg and Scharpenberg offered. "And I guess you think an ROTC battalion, guard the halls, these are America's last contribution, you're lucky you site. defense against Finland's driving's real easy, huh?" WILLIAM didn't go to jail." The other obvious aspect is deadly "Democratic Guard." "Well, in truth, it seems that RASPBERRY the impenetrable battlefield NEXT WEEK: Are the any fool...." I thanked him not to get per- known as Washington Post the Root Quadrangle. Smurfs lovable blue elves or sonal since, after all, his whole Laid out to hold off even the Iraqi death commandos? "That's it, man," the cabbie Syndicated Columnist shouted, screeching to a halt. approach was nothing but base- "You come up here and drive less innuendo. "... and I'll sit back there and be a And sometimes it was a just doing my job DELIVERS GREAT reporter. We'll see whose work threesome? Maybe the headline "Look, I'm is easier." could be something like 'Trou- as a journalist," he said."We just bled Official Says Wife Knew In my personal DEALS TO It was too tempting to pass ask questions. • about Other Woman'." • up. view, you could do yourself a lot • • "Daisy's not some 'other laid it all out ROSE HULMAN "National Arboretum," he of good if you just woman.' We never...." TERRIFIC TUESDAY SPECIAL said from the back seat as soon right now--all the women you've as I was perched behind the "Please, sir, we don't want to ever been involved with, all the know the details of S 99 wheel."And by the way, I under- your sex life. times you've taken questionable stand you've been I'm just trying to establish that LARGE cheating on deductions or forgotten to report your wife as well as on your all the while you were posturing honorariums." PIZZA taxes." about family values and the 4, ONE FREE decline of TOPPING "What?" I morality, you were with your JUST AP' OR ONE 32 oz. yelled, turning to "You come ASH! PEPSI carrying on some weird extra- face him and nearly sideswiping allegations and then marital thing unfounded a Metrobus. with this Daisy per- "You can't just sit ask me hand you the stick to son. Maybe you'd like to tell to there and make up lies about me about the beat me with? You've sure got a people." tax thing, too." "What tax lot of nerve." 9 "You deny it, then?" the thing? I pay my s9 9 mEDium'° cab- bie said. taxes — boy, do I pay my taxes!" ONE TOPPING PIZZAS "Hey, no problem. "I don't know why you're We'll just "On & An Order of Breadstix make the headline say: time?" getting so uptight," the cabbie 'Transportation Official with your choice of one sauce: Denies "Usually." said. "I'm just trying to help you ?NACHO Wrongdoing'." CHEESE, or garlic butter or pizza sauce "Does that mean sometimes put this scandal behind you so "Come on, man," I said. you don't?" you can get on with your work. "You make it sound like...." c,0 "Well, once or twice there And by the way, the Arboretum 234-4940 "Are you saying I didn't see was a matter of you an adjustment to is about three miles back the leaving Georgia Brown's my reported gross.' other way." The Rose Thorn • Sports • April 22, 1994 Page 5 ngineers look for first conference title by Greg Rossi scored 105 runs compared to Sports Reporter their opponents' 58 runs. With a 15-6 record, the Engi- Of course, the Engineers ers claim first place in the could not have accomplished " AC Conference. Rose shared such a large run differential with spoils of a doubleheader last out some good hitting. Sophmore turday against DePauw Uni- left-fielder, Clint Hiatt, has a rsity. team-leading batting average of A fifth inning stint of three .339 and has scored 19 runs. -batters helped Depauw's Freshman, Tryon, has 13 runs- fense collect five runs in a 14- batted-in, and Sophmore victory in Rose's first game catcher, Kyle Curry, has cracked Aainst Depauw Saturday. six doubles. Rose's defense rallied Supporting this offensive -hind the pitching performance attack, the Rose-Hulman pitch- freshman left-hander, Eric ing staff has a 2.84 earned-run- yon, for a 6-4 win in the sec- average and has kept its oppo- id game. His ten strikeouts nents to a .202 batting average 'ings him to within five of with their 147 strikeouts. The .)se's season strikeout record staff aces are Tryon with a.6-1 sixty-five. In the fifth inning, record and senior, Shawn drain- iltron Junkersfeld, who had just ard, 5-3. wed from third base to right The Engineers continued 411.P.M10 'Id, added to the show with two their attack on the ball fields in a Sophomore outfielder Clinton Hiatt dives in at the plate after a passed ball to score one of his three Itstanding diving catches field. doubleheader against Anderson runs in the first game against DePauw University. Hiatt is one of the leading hitters for the Engineers As a team, Rose has a batting College on Thursday, but results with a .339 batting average. ,trage of 270. They have were not available at press time. Photo by Jim Mann 'rack team competes well at Little State, loses to Wabash

by Brady Neukam sented at the meet. Due to the EIT berg also got a PB, by jumping High Jump-M Malbeig-tie 6th (6'2") Greg Meyne qualified for the Sports Reporter exam, Rose was missing the ser- 20'5" in the long jump. Shot Put-G. Rosinski-61h (44'l 1/2") nationals provisionally in the Rose fmished 9th out of 16 vices of a couple of their seniors. Javelin-M. Wolfe-4th (160'5") Hammer Throw by launching a ims in the Little State Invite last The day was marked by high Team Results Pole Vault-M. Brown-lst(13'5 3/4") big PB of 1694". Mike Miller :ekend, and suffered a loss in a winds which hindered perfor- (Conference Teams Only) Hammer Throw-G. Mme-2nd also made great strides by setting al meet to Wabash on Tuesday. mances in many events. (160'4") a PB by 11 seconds in route to However, several of the throw- winning the 3000M Steeplechase )wever, several Engineer track- 3. Anderson (71) Hammer Throw-T. Ricklefs-66 ers didn't feel the effects of the in 10:07. Ts have performed well in the 6. Wabash (46) (145'9") winds and actually achieved per- st week. 9. Rose-Hulman (25 1/3) sonal bests. Shot Putters Greg Ros- 11. Manchester(11) Wabash inski and Ryan Summers Individual Results 12. Hanover (10) Little State Invite continued on a road to improve- 14. Depauw (9 1/2) Rose's meet with Wabash (Winners Only) ment by launching PBs of 44'1 1/ 15. Franklin (5) didn't go quite as well as the En- Several Div. II teams competed 2" and 43'8 1/2" respectively. gineers expected. Rose was rea- the Little State Invite on Satur- Meanwhile Troy Ricklefs, who is 3000M Steeplechase-M. Miller sonably close after 9 of the 19 y. Rose fmished respectfully, working on giving Rose a good 1-2 Individual Results clan events by a score of 47-30. Un- ishing 3rd among conference punch in the hammer throw, tossed (Scorers Only) fortunately, the situation only got Hammer Throw-G. Meyne Ians, of which all 7 were repre- one 145'9" for a PB. Marty Mal- 4 X 100 Team-6th (45.18) worse.Wabash ended up defeat- (169'4") ing Rose by the score of 102-61. High Jump-M. Malberg (6'2") there were still sev- However, 100M Dash-A. Keuneke (11.41) eral good performances from Put-G. Rosinski (43'11") Rose, including 2 of national Shot qualifying standards. 200M Dash-A. Keuneke (22.25) Mike Brown upped his na- Pole Vault-M. Brown (16'6") tional qualifying height in the pole vault at 16'6", and made a valiant attempt at 17 feet even. ONE YEAR FREE LAYAWAY 232-5214 6th et Wabash Downtown pen Monday-Saturday 9:30 to 5:00 Charge accounts avaWbk with NO hiterest

1 r.ittfilp It VA dt \ against Wabash Col- nior Marty Malberg goes up and over the high jump bar in Tuesday's meet e. Photo by Jim Mann

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Accurate as of Wednesday, April 20 Intramural Schedule This Week Intramural Announcements Monday, April 25 Teams Field flrn Sport. League (Division) Team Captains: Be sure to fill out the Deming vs. Scharp I Softball 4:30 p.m. Softball, Minor (Division A) scoresheet. vs. LCA 2 scorebooks correctly, especially the 4:30 p.m. Softball, Minor (Division A) BSB3 Wanna Be's vs. Bats 3 This will aid in making record keeping easy. 4:30 p.m. Softball, Minor (Division A) (Division B) Speed vs. Mees 1 to call in all scores after games so 5:30 p.m. Softball, Minor Also, be sure Snappers 2 5:30 p.m. Softball, Minor (Division B) IGF vs. that standings can be kept current. sophs. 5:30 p.m. Softball, Minor (Division B) BSB vs. SN 3 Tuesday, April 26 postoned I It is the intent of Coach Ruark that Time Sport. Leaeue (Division) Teams Field 1 intramural contests will be made up at a later 4:30 p.m. Softball, Minor (Division C) PDP9 vs. Skinner date. 4:30 p.m. Softball, Minor (Division C) Pikes vs. Speed 2 2 4:30 p.m. Softball, Major (Division B) SN Srs. 1 vs. Fiji 3 5:30 p.m. Softball, Major (Division B) SN Jrs. vs. ATO 1 5:30 p.m. Softball, Major (Division A) Gator vs. C.F. 2 Sabbaticals under fire 5:30 p.m. Softball, Major (Division A) Emerson vs. LCA1 3 By Janet Singleton sion." "It sounds like a good bill," Wednesday, April 27 Special Correspondent says Martin Anderson, a senior League (Division) Teams Field College Press Service Time Sport. fellow at the Hoover Institution, Triangle 1 The case of a Colorado uni- 4:30 p.m. Softball Major (Division B) SN Srs. 2 vs. a conservative think tank. versity administrator who 7:00 p.m. Ultimate Frisbee Fiji vs. BSB I NA "They ought to think about pro- wanted to take an eight-month vs. Skinner NA hibiting it for professors until 8:00 p.m. Ultimate Frisbee CBPS sabbatical to study Shakespeare they work a certain number of 9:00 p.m. Ultimate Frisbee Hucks vs. Eaton NA has sparked a movement to regu- hours. If you have a professor late paid leaves of absence that Thursday, April 28 who's only teaching one course professors and university offi- (Division) Teams per year, that is not a tiresome Time Snort. Leaeue cials are granted to conduct (workload)." 4:30 p.m. Softball Major (Division A) Fiji vs. LCA2 research projects. However, Daniel Ritchie, Major (Division A) SN Jrs. vs. ATO Merrill Lessley had intended 4:30 p.m. Softball chancellor of the University of to take an eight-month leave 4:30 p.m. Softball Minor (Division C) Skinner vs. Blumberg Denver, is a staunch defender of while still drawing $7,600 a 5:30 p.m. Softball Minor (Division C) PDP9 vs. Speed 2 sabbaticals. "It isn't a chance to month in pay as vice chancellor go to the Sorbonne and have a of academic affairs at the Uni- fling," he says. "A good learner Fields: 1 — East field next to Phil Brown field versity of Colorado at Colorado is a good teacher." Springs.At a time of budget cuts 2 — West field next to Phil Brown field Professors say a sabbatical in higher education, state univer- 3 — Field next to baseball field is not fun and games; it's a rig- sities can't afford to be so gener- orous investment of time and ous with university officials or energy in order to further professors, the newspaper edito- research in a particular Assist the brothers rial said. A group of Colorado areas. "Being on sabbatical is the politicians agreed, and state Rep. hardest I've ever of Delta Sigma Phi Tony Grampsas, R-Golden, worked in my life," says Elaine introduced a bill to impose Tyler May, an Score for the American Studies guidelines on the granting of professor at the paid sabbaticals. University of Minnesota. "I March of Dimes! get up at "Sabbaticals were designed 6:30 in the morning, leave for school for the purpose of expanding the at 7:30, and sit in DicpASHBOAT experience of faculty," Grampsas front of my computer. When says. Students, I'm not at my computer, I'm at colleges and the r'•'• • ' 3Si the state should benefit from the library collecting additional KEN WOOD data." research an instructor does on a Just sabbatical. Because they have because a professor is eligible Ziebart little direct contact with students, for a sabbatical, 74.• ewe, .•••• 4 Woad • fe.. Grampsas says administrators doesn't mean he or she can Isnosies can't pass on what they've afford it, she stresses. To sup- , learned during a leave. port her research, she won a fel- lowship "First of all, it was not a sab- to work on a book batical. It was an administrative about childless women in America, leave," Lessley said, declining to tentatively titled "Bar- ren comment on what difference in the Promised Land." If exists between the two. "I felt sabbaticals are old-fash- Giss tot that, after being out of the class- ioned, then some of America's top room, it would be really helpful industfies are going back to fof illf0f111g0P 011 to -get my research stream back thefuture, counters Ritchie, who u1l'61 of poiiits th3 up again." says American business has f191611g a 18811 to Iris Molotsky, a spokes- realized the value of giving Tule )6 Kmii 24irs 35 woman for the American Associ- employees time off for personal ation of and professional enrichment ayirist D6118 Sig's fipast. kr; University Professors, 1'4J that som famlous is says the group takes no stand on often translates into greater cut out the forrn below administrative sabbaticals. "But productivity at work. and enter to win great prizes! we He acknowledges ——————— think the colleges, not gov- sabbati- Delta Sigma Phi cals can be Iftearettra Marathon TO. ernment, should regulate that abused, though, and April 29-30. 19. Delta Sigma Phi admits Name: Basketball policy. The mere fact that sabbat- this sudden political Address: Marathon Ticket (April 29-30, 1994) Grand Prize: icals pecking at the Phone slow KENWOOD Custom Tailored Car are being portrayed as vaca- ivory tower isn't t: Stereo Guelt System (including installation) from tions shows there's a all bad. "As a result of this, **);W____. real lone 0111.1111 riFUNkStiBOARE misunderstanding there will be greater Deltamta Phi 1St Prize: Mobile Car of what they account- do Phone (including activation fees) ability Abbott from Century Car Phones are," she said. "They are for how they're used. 429 SL part of a Support the March cd Terre Haute. IN pada. DIrnesfl, Gars. the mall But there 47807 snared to 24 hours of part of a faculty's responsibility isn't going to be the I guess fur *0.50 Basketball. ee 3 guesses for SI eg% to keep up with their profes- abolition of them anywhere." The Rose Thorn • Organizations • April 22, 1994 Page 7 he Bulletin Board — Classifieds and More ITED MININSTRIES CENTER — fisheries this summer. Maritime e more Movie and Games Night, utilities. Contact Dr. Ditteon (CL 108, Services, 1-208-860-0219. Box Jay, April 29, from 7:00 p.m., at 156, x. 8247 or 299-5182) for HELP WANTED more UMC, 321 N. 7th St. Movies, — $700/wk. information. TAKE canneries, THE ties, good fun and FREE popcorn. $4500/mo. deck hands. KEYS Alaska summer EARN MONEY — Greeks and ng a friend! fisheries now hiring. clubs. Employment Alaska 1-206-323- Earn $50-$250 for yourself plus up to (All A — Farewell Picnic, Saturday, 2672. $500 for your club! This fund-raiser (AR. ril 30, from 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. costs nothing FOR RENT — and lasts one week. Call TAKE A et at the UMC at 5:00 to Apartment, $275/ now and receive travel to month, utilities a free gift. 1-800-932- STAND site. Register by April 28: call included. Three miles 0528. from Rose. Call 2-0186. 877-3699, leave message. FOUND — Gold tie bar with :RY MONEY — I will pay $25 for chain, FOR RENT — One Jan. 20, 1994, in Olin Hall. r phone book. Call Lee bedroom house. Contact Ramsey, Four miles from Peter Morzinski, Box 806. Phone iect at 1-615-577-7237. campus. $300/ month, $200 deposit. Furnished or 234-6026. '13 SALE — 1979 Olds Delta 88 not; all utilities except electric Send bulletin yale. Runs excellent, body good. included. Call Laura at 877-9269 board entries by noon , PB, PW, PL, AC. Gas mileage: after 5. on the Monday prior to publication to The Thorn at Box 170. Include your 5 miles/gallon on 2200 mile trip to FOR RENT— Jrida several weeks ago. $525. WANT TO SAVE name and address and a phone MONEY? Tired of crowded bert Berg, 234-8718 or Box 595. dorms? number for verification. Non- FRIENDS DON'T [ET FRIENDS DRIVE HUNK Furnished one bedroom apartment students may be charged classified .LP WANTED — $750/wk. Alaska available Fall quarter. $240 includes rates at our discretion.

againto the brink of cracking or SAB PRESENTS hard to keep in mind that he is a just skipping the sought-after 'one man show.' He and his cast Organizations note altogether, as he casts out COMEDIAN of several puppets give the the demons in his life through the DAN HORN impression of an 'ensemble' spans over a 128-mile string of presentation. Numerous colleges SCUBA CLUB power of song. by Dan McWhorter underwater living coral reefs in and universities have praised his No song on this SAB Promotions Chairman the Keys. The organization record falls flawless ventriloquism, his good CLEANS UP Ventriloquist Dan Horn will accomplishes this goal by into the -filler song" category. sense of comedic timing, and be on campus to entertain the REEF increasing the awareness of the Both "Karaoke" and "Tense It have declared, "It was the best hordes Saturday night. Horn has importance of living coral as Up" give you an all out event ever!" by Brian Niepoky brutal been nominated by the National well as sponsoring marine clean- attack of classic garage punk. Association of Campus Horn will be performing on On Thursday, April 7 over up projects to remove debris And the title track measures Activities as Comedy Campus Saturday, April 23, at 8:00 in the spring break holiday, 13 from beaches and the reefs. Mike thrashing away by himself Entertainer of the Year for the Worx. Be sure to bring your :mbers of the Rose-Hulman During their stay in the Keys, past two years. He also won the girlfriend, since everyone will :UBA Club in conjunction on his Fender Stat. Of the the eleven divers and two Ventriloquist of the Year Award th Reef Relief slower songs, "Hurt You" is enjoy his lovely sense of humor. helped to clean- snorkelers also dove at Molasses in 1993 from the Vent Haven probably my favorite with a reef in the Florida Keys. Reef in Pennekamp Coral Reef the Museum. udents cut monofilament line State Park. The group made a bass surging in the background. Horn has been performing as d wire used in fishing from the day and night dive at the Loon What I want to point out is how a ventriloquist and puppeteer rat formations along with Key National Marine Sanctuary. great the live sounding professionally for fourteen years. :king in up debris the area. For more information about the production is. But it only hints at After spending several years as a )jects such as bottles, soda writer and performer on regional SCUBA club or Reef Relief, how intense they really are on ns, the remains of lobster traps, contact Sean McPeak at 877- comedy T.V. shows in Arizona, stage. Wing debris, and fishing rods, 4241 or RHIT Box 422. Horn began travelling to oks and lures were removed Five-Eight will perform comedy clubs, colleges, casinos, ring the day. FIVE-EIGHT Tuesday, April 26, at the Fourth and conventions nationwide. He has appeared on many popular The clean-up dive occurred Quarter in Terre Haute. TO PLAY IN televisions programs such as the patch reefs that lie off Appearing with the Five-Eight is Comedy Strip Live, An Evening ale Palm Island in the southern TERRE HAUTE Duckhills from Austin, Texas, at the Improv, and on Comedy rtion of the Florida Keys. by Brian Cohen and Watership Down from Terre Central. embers of the SCUBA club for Five-Eight and WMHD Haute. When Horn performs, it is Comedian Dan Horn ended a morning class For those of you not familiar onsored by Reef Relief which with Five-Eight's style of punk ;cussed techniques of angst, just let me tell you that moving the trash from the you are missing out on one of the Don't wait untilF :fs. The Rose students also greatest bands around right now. imed that reefs are easily Mike Mantione is a true tortured stroyed by boats dropping soul. apply todayfor your chor into coral and polluted "Wierdo", the Athen's "We're Always .iterways from sewage and quartet's third release, is their StudentLoan! ricultural run-off. The growth finest platter yet in showcasing Here For You" coral is slow as some species their guitar driven songwriting ly grow half an inch per year. skill. It incorporates punk, pop, Reef Relief was established and even a bit of country to make 1986 to "Preserve and Protect things a little more interesting. Living Coral Reef of the Abusing his guitar to the max, orida Keys," and their concern Mike brings his voice once

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Lobby Hours: TV Drive up Hours: M-Th 9 am-5 pm M-Fri 7:30 am-6 pm Fri 9 am-6 pm Sat 9 am-Noon Lutz Burkle, Jeff Kwok, Ryan Vande row - Joern Beschnidt, Mike Rubin, Sat 9 am-Noon P Huegenard, Rick Davis, Chris ater, Aaron Lindsay; Bottom row - Joe Barz, Ben Niepoky inter, Sean McPeak, Jurgend Spielvogel, Brian Photo courtesy MUT SCUBA Club Entertainment • April 22, 1994 Page 8 The Rose Thorn •

Santa Claus. BY Anthony Robin°, Jr. We all know about the Easter Bunny and wtd Kingdom but what about the... I'd just as soon miss, wnen ceraftercansmoving I ikethis.'—Readas Digest Top Ten Holiday Icons That Never -The rush-hour traffic Quite Caught On

10. George. the Flag Day Slug

9. The Bastille Day Groundhog Kill some time in that boring den! Write to Mr College! College: I recentty saw a book about life's most embarrassing 8. Viola, the Grandparents Day Tortoise Q.Dew Mr. moments. What was your most embarrassing moment?—Kent, Lubbock, TX advised me not to discuss that particular 7. The Memorial Day Platypus A. Dear Kent: My lawyers have incident. All I can say is; it involved a sheep,50 feet of bungee cord and 6. Andy. the Valentine's Day Asparagus three large containers of vegetable oil. College: When derve home from school on horiday weekends, it 5. The Labor Day Potato Q.Dear Mr. always takes me an hour longer than it should because of all the congestion hardly 4. Chuck, the Mother's Day Large Mouth Bass and back up at the toll booths. If it wasn't for that, there'd be any traffic at all. I know its asking a lot, but in all your infinite wisdom, is there arty way to 3. Sinclair, the Arbor Day Walrus solve my problem?—Torry, Glassboro, N.J. A. Dear Tony: You were right to come to me. Here's what you do: When 2. Elmo, the Independence Day Eel you approach a bottleneck caused by a toll plaza, woe* your vehicle to farthest right lane. Make sure there's no poke around,then slowly 1. The Rashashana Leprechaun the drive up the shoulder to about the third car from the front of the line. Courtesy Skinner C- I Motion for the driver to rod down his window. Then, Inform him that if he will allow you to get In front of him, you will pay for his toll. When he lets you in, pay for your toll oniy, flip him the bird, and be on your merry way. Drive safety, and happy motoring, Q. Dear Mr. College: Are you off to see the wizard? The wonderful wizard of Oz. The wonderful wizard is one because...because of the wonderful things he does. Because, because, because, because, because...because of the wonderful things he does.—Daryl, Somewhere in Kansas Dear Daryl: Yes...the wizard. That's right Daryl.... ANYOIE GOAT A. SMAY INTiNG anything you say. Oh,and Daryi, the wizard wanted me to 141S WALL tell you to take your medication now, like a good boy WILL BE ROUE° 18 S.INGPoRE HEV '114:0U! Get your questio• answered by Mr. College! Send questions, comments, and Totto too to: Mr. College• P.O. Box 431 • Gaithersburg MD •20884-0431 0 Anthony Rubino, Jr. 1994 • Dtstribuled by Tibor* Med°Serv ,ces

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