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VOLUME TEN ISSUE THREE 02 OKTOBER 1996 si?; *. 1 "Where's Jimmy?" - Teamster's Union Local 614, Pontiac, Ml : UBC Rehabilitates South Campus! Health office gives UBC failing grade!i Johan S. Fibble Education on Hepatitis is also and construction of a new gar­ pond will have to be complete­ And if the bolts can be undone, paramount to this plan. Courses Raving Correspondent den between the Electrical ly drained and a new filtration it isn't bolted down. Most of the will be offered to educate stu­ Engineering Building and The system will be installed along problems occur with no sign of VANCOUVER(REUTERS) dents about the dangers of the Barn. with extensive chlorinating to forced entry. It's almost as if the disease and it's method of trans­ Demarche explains the plan ensure the algae doesn't come suspects had keys." fter receiving a failing fer. Prof. Dan Ackerman, Head for the area: back." grade in a recent govern­ of UBC Virology, explains. To combat the rising crime Ament sponsored health "I'm thinking we shall have to The quality of drinking water rate, Const. Beckman has start­ "These courses have actually study of the south side of cam­ take advantage of the centrality is also questionable. In fact, ed patrols in the area by the been Offered at UBC for the past pus, UBC Student Health of this location. Perhaps we health officials were actually RCMP instead of UBC Parking three years. However, chronic Services announced today their could put a rose garden in the surprised to find that the local and Security Services. low enrollment rates have hin­ four part plan to better public center of some fabulous shrub­ population was parasite free. dered the development of the "Let's face it, PASS is really health conditions. bery. If we added a little fence Officials quickly theorized that material. But now that we've good for ticketing unoccupied, and a two level effect with a the low incidence of parasites ^WeVe analyzed the problem changed the name from HEPA parked cars, but once those cars path down the middle, I think and infectious bacteria in stu­ and are confident that our solu­ 101 to the more attractive BZZR start moving, they can be really the result would be absolutely dents was probably due to the tion is both cost effective and 101 to encourage enrollment, hard to catch. That's why we're darling. fact that most students pre­ geered towards the best interest we've had to add six sections starting regular, armed patrols, of the students involved" states ferred drinking bzzr over water next semester alone!" "The only problem is that "Reports state that most crime Dr. Philip Stores, director of the as their main liquid source. nasty cairn. It has no geometric is committed by large gangs of UBC South Side Rehabilitation Stage two of the plan calls for The last stage in the four part flow to it. Perhaps some ivy individuals. These gangs roam Project. Dr. Stores hopes that the undertaking of an extensive project will address the balloon­ might make it look less obtru­ the area, stealing what they can this project will generally South Side clean-up program. ing crime problem facing the sive and easier on the eyes. We carry and preying on people increase the standard of living Removal of graffiti from build­ South Side. The problem is no could paint it a nice shade of wearing the wrong colours. for South Side residents by the ing surfaces and pavement will longer limited to the South Side blue to offset the pink roses. I Incidents have been reported end of 1997. be accompanied by tree planti­ and has begun spreading into think that would be a tantaliz­ where victims were assaulted ng and a new decorative paint neighbouring sectors of cam­ Part one of the project calls for ing visual thrill for your eyes." for simply wearing a blue hat in job for the cairn. pus, notibly the various attempts to be made to curb the South Campus. Something has Stage three outlines a plan for Undergraduate Society Offices rapid spread of Hepatitis B "We've found that people tend to be done." the purification of contaminat­ around campus, who have through the sharing of dirty to lead healthy lives when they ed bathing water. experienced a sharp increase in Every year, 200 South Side res­ bzzr mugs. feel good about their environ­ ments and have a strong sense "The water situation is very break and enters over the sum­ idents can be found uncon­ States Stores, "Bzzr abuse is of community. Hopefully, severe," states Stores, "We have mer. scious on lawns or stuck to con­ rampant throughout this area. gealed bzzr on the floors of pub­ pulling everyone together to actually noted a few instances "The problem rarely involves We're opening two bzzr mug lic houses. Stores wants a public improve living conditions will were extensive algae growth is violent crime," says Const. exchanges where students can housing program, but has been accomplish this." states Stores. present in water used for Drake Beckman of the UBC trade their dirty mugs in for bathing almost daily. This situa­ told by the NDP that funds orig­ Prominent landscape architect RCMP, "The real problem is clean ones free of charge. One tion is completely unaccept­ inally allocated for the project Alphonse Demarche has been with petty theft and breaking will be located in the heart of able. This is a major health cri­ have had to be "unexpectedly contracted to oversee the design and entering. Simply put, if it the problem, in The Cheeze." sis just waiting to happen. The isn't bolted down, it's gone. returned." Inside this issue. • Lots of great cartoons and columns! (all over) The 432 has recently experienced a boom in contributes. The cream of the crop h ready to make you chuckle. • Action Figures! (Page 4) The 432 has it's own line of action figures. Re-enact history's famous battles or create some of your own! • The Official SUS Dead Pool (aka Dead Giveaway)! (Page 5) Dentil can be fanl Make the nightly news more exciting by betting that James Earl Jones will be dead before April! • The Official SUS Hockey Pool! (Page 6) Can you pin the next Gretzky? Are you willing to put money on it? i •••HWJh THE FOUR THIRTY Two 02 OKTOBER 1996 Buses, trains and aeroplanes. Kathryn Murray of people and, as there are so ing as you pass them. Get onto many people getting off and on, the next bus and repeat. You'd Redheaded Columnist there is lots of variety to look at, be surprised at how many peo­ smile at, talk to, get to know ... ple you can either really freak love things that move on Trains are great!!!! out, or make temporary allies wheels - bikes, trikes, roller Buses though, hold a special out of by doing this. Human Iblades, rolling chairs, scoot­ nature is a wonderful thing'to place in my heart. I realize that ers - especially if they're moving play with. really quickly. In my travels this they have the highest place of summer, I rediscovered some loathing during term time. However, the best game to play old favorites: buses, trains, and They are hot and sticky like a with buses is the modified form aeroplanes. sauna, more crowded than the of dodge car. It's a lot more Pit on Pit Night, have less air challenging than dodge car and Now most people who know than the moon and are almost is best played late at night. me know that I hate airplanes never on time. Believe me, I What you do is bike up a street and I avoid them whenever I take the 41 bus along with a lot that has a bus route that runs can. They have those 3 little of you and I know what it's regularly on it. Start biking up wibbly-wobbly wheels that are like. the street when you can see a ecently, the AMS decided to fund a supposed to be enough to get it However, in or on holidays, bus coming towards you in the lobby against BC Transit in hopes of to take off and to land on. opposite direction. Chose a Whatever. This summer I had to they are a cheap and easy way jetting increased bus service to UBC to see a city and get to know the street a few blocks ahead of you and a cheaper bus pass for students. The take 7, yes 7 separate plane and race the bus to the prede­ flights, two of which were 10 sights. They're really easy to get results of this survey will be forwarded to on and off of, and they run termined street. If you win, you hours in length. Got to love managed to make a successful AMS council to support the lobbying efforts. going to visit your family. almost any time of the day. The best thing is that really, really lefthand turn in font of the bus Please fill out this survey and return it to Kathryn Murray The nasty thing about long strange people use them who and you don't have to replace (SUS Public Relations Officer). plane trips is being crowded like either talk to themselves, each your bike or your brain. If you cattle into a steel tube, strapped other or every one in sight. You lose, well ... you don't need to into uncomfortable, narrow can learn the neatest things worry about losing again.

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