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THE “TENET” THEORY Written by Esmarelda VillaLobos

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD.

“Tenet” begins with an attack on the arts. It is the first event in the film, right out of the gate, that sets the tone for the rest of the movie. In fact, in this film there are multiple attacks on art, but in the first few minutes of this topsy-turvy ride, we as the audience witness some kind of terrorist attack that occurs during the preparations for an orchestral performance somewhere in Russia, which, given the number of public shootings and horrific terrorist attacks that have plagued the world throughout the last decade, is not that far of a stretch from the truth. The first line of the film is “Time to wake up the Americans” to which we are now introduced to John David Washington’s character as The Protagonist. Through a series of what seems to be party-switching and criss-crossery (if that’s even a word), John David Washington is eventually caught. While under capture and interrogation, The Protagonist decides to sacrifice his own life for the good of the cause and swallow a cyanide pill given to him by the CIA.

Cut to black.

When we as the audience come back, John David Washington is in a hospital bed on a very large ship, somewhere beyond the sea. Now, on first viewing if you are to watch this film, you believe everything that is said – the cyanide pill is a fake, his taking it was a test to see if he would sacrifice himself in order to avoid torture and potentially give up secrets – which he did. The following events of the film are so delightfully mind-bending and confusing that you ignore everything that happened on this ship and happily go along with the twists and turns of the story.

However, on second (and third) viewing, I can pretty much confirm that everything that happens right after John David Washington takes the cyanide pill indicates that he is dead. That’s right – just like in “The Sixth Sense” – he is dead the whole time. The plot of “Tenet” after John David Washington wakes up on the ship can be broken down as such: A Protagonist in a movie attempts to navigate his way through a Christopher Nolan movie.

I am 98% sure that I am right on this.

There are so many similarities and hints to other Nolan films sprinkled throughout “Tenet” that I often find myself sitting in my car at the drive-in audibly saying to no one other than myself, “well that’s from ‘Dark Knight’” or “this looks just like ‘’”. Basically, if “The Dark Knight,” “Inception,” and “Dunkirk” had a baby, it would be “Tenet.” There really isn’t too much “Interstellar” in here, but that movie has a much warmer tone to the rest of Nolan’s colder and more calculating thrillers that I don’t think any references from it really belong here. Although I could be wrong, I often am.

One thing I am for certain not wrong about… is that The Protagonist is definitely dead the whole time. The world that he now inhabits and must save is a world that is different from the actual reality that we live in. We are always following The Protagonist’s timeline, even when we peek in on what Kenneth Branagh and are up to.

“Tenet” is actually pretty funny in a few subtle but memorable moments. For instance, when John David Washington meets for the first time, Pattinson’s Neil suggests that they slingshot themselves up an enormously tall building in order to raid the penthouse apartment of an Indian arms dealer. When Neil asks the Protagonist if the entry is “bungee-jumpable,” The Protagonist responds with the quick-witted thinking of “I don’t think bungee jumpable is a word.”

As a writer, this line makes me laugh. Because I can’t tell you how many times I have been sitting at my laptop banging out a screenplay or a film review only to accidentally invent a word and then immediately need to make reference to the fact that that word I just made up actually does not exist. It is at that moment in “Tenet” that I definitely think to myself “Christopher Nolan is absolutely taking us on a trip through what it is like to be Christopher Nolan.” I just think it’s funny and it makes me enjoy the film all that much more – nothing will get this girl giddy more than genuine, authentic “writers being writers” humor.

The next funny bit of the film is the casting of Robert Pattinson himself. A frequent passcode uttered throughout the film is, “we live in a twilight world… and there are no friends at dusk.” While some who are not as well-versed in the skills of humor and subtext might write this off as a nonsensical code phrase written merely for the purpose of sounding cool, the inclusion of Robert Pattinson in the primary cast leads me to believe that the code phrase translates as thus: “Hollywood is dominated by blockbuster franchise pictures, and when the lights go down – all bets are off.”

On this, I am about 97% sure that I am right.

Because when Christopher Nolan isn’t busy putting guys in suits or treating airplanes like disposable drink containers, my next favorite thing about this movie is the fact that John David Washington kicks serious ass. I was re-watching “Glory” a couple of months ago, and although that film is by far my favorite movie of all time, when I was watching it again I couldn’t help but think, “Damn, Denzel is kicking some serious ass in here.” The same applies for his son.

There are two fight scenes in particular that stand out to me in “Tenet”: the one in the kitchen and the one in that weird chamber room in the art-vault thingy, I think, where the inverted guy comes out of some kind of David Cronenberg-esque teleportation portal to try to kick John David Washington’s ass in reverse. Anyways, those two are the best fight scenes in the whole film. The kitchen is probably my grand-pumba top favorite of the fight scenes because at one point John David Washington gives some Russian dude a ruthless smackdown with a bread pan and I’m all like, “well that’s the best thing I’ve seen since homemade brioche, you know?” (Fun fact: I make AMAZING homemade brioche.)

But John David Washing totally kicks ass and I can’t wait to see him in more action films where he is beating the hell out of bulky white guys, because Son of Denzel has got some badass moves pumping through his veins. I should probably fill in more of my cinema gaps and watch “Hurricane” pretty soon.

Anyways, the car chases are cool, Elizabeth Debicki reminds me of a modern-day Hitchcock blonde, and I swear when I first saw this film, I had to Google it to make sure that that was actually Kenneth Branaugh (Branagh? …Branagh, no “u”) playing the bad guy, because for some reason in “Tenet” he just kind of looks more like Kenneth Branagh’s Russian evil twin. Ooh! And we get Sir playing a character named Sir Michael Crosby, so I think my whole, “this movie is about what it’s like to be inside a Christopher Nolan movie” theory definitely holds up.

At the end of the film, when Robert Pattinson leaves John David Washington to hop on a giant hovercraft or something, he tells John David Washington that he will see him at the beginning. So, I think that Robert Pattinson is the dude who comes out of nowhere in the beginning of the film to save The Protagonist from getting shot at the under-attack opera house filled with rather poorly dressed audience members who all get blown up. This of which furthers my theory that The Protagonist is dead the whole time. Although, knowing what I know about life, I probably won’t understand the full meaning of that exchange until my eighteenth viewing of the film, so… I’m working on it.

Anyways, “Tenet” was a thumbs-way-up in my book. And even though it is still dark outside, I would hope that in the daylight, I would be able to have the opportunity to call Christopher Nolan a friend. Although knowing what I know about him, I would probably have to find my way through some kind of intersecting hedge-maze in Orange County before I would be allowed to give him a socially distant hug.

Either way, “Tenet” is cool, a lot of critics are dumb, and bungee-jumpable should most definitely be a word. See all you cool cats and kittens again at the beginning, and don’t you forget… he was dead the whole time. Peace.