The Trouble with Me Time It’S Your Favorite Part of the Day—And, We’Re Guessing, the Unhealthiest

BALANCE HEALTH 117 The Trouble with Me Time It’s your favorite part of the day—and, we’re guessing, the unhealthiest. Make over your evening routine to get the relaxation you deserve without overdosing on sauv blanc, mint chip, Netflix, or your iPhone. WOMAN: GEORGE MARKS/RETROFILE/GETTY IMAGES; MOUNTAINS: DEA/W. BUSS/DE AGOSTINI/GETTY MARKS/RETROFILE/GETTY DEA/W. IMAGES GEORGE WOMAN: MOUNTAINS: IMAGES; WRITTEN BY LESLIE GOLDMAN ILLUSTRATIONS BY EUGENIA LOLI JUNE 2017 118 BALANCE HEALTH F FOR YEARS, the story of my me time—those precious hours between the end of dinner and the beginning of sleep—has read like a handbook titled What Healthy People Don’t Do at Night. Wine. Tube cookie dough. A laptop-tablet-TV trifecta of sleep- sabotaging blue light. And, yes, part of this has to do with hav- ing children: Preschoolers and teenagers alike have a way of sending parents into a post- bedtime roundoff, back hand- spring, double-pike tumbling pass into our vice of choice. But honestly, I engaged in these subpar evening health habits before kids, too. Because if you’re a woman and you spend your day doing anything other than lounging at a pool, you need some time at night to unwind. Time to treat yourself. And, more often than not, time for all bad health to break loose. “At the end of the day, we are full of emotions that need to be It’s hard to keep this behavior out of the container instead of processed: anxiety from work, in check, because by the time savoring just one dish; two glasses exhaustion from running around we’re wrapping up the day, we’re of wine, not one.” all day,” says Christine Carter, PhD, fresh out of willpower. “Our brain Not that scraping the bottom a sociologist and happiness expert is done making good decisions. of the Nutella jar is the end of at the Greater Good Science Cen- We did that all day at work, par- the world. “There’s nothing ter, based at the University of enting, cooking, errand-running, wrong with treating yourself to California, Berkeley. “But we’re so exercising, and more,” says a big bowl of ice cream or a exhausted that we just want to Rebecca Scritchfield, RD, ofWash- gourmet cupcake,” says Scritch- zone out, so we turn to numbing ington, D.C., the author of Body field. “But all too often, we’re behaviors like consuming social Kindness. “So we make irrational mindlessly engaging in these media, sugar, alcohol, and TV.” choices: eating ice cream straight behaviors night after night, not DRAPER/LONDON VIA ARCHIVE/UIG GETTY MOON: J.W. IMAGES; HISTORY UNIVERSAL SKY: IMAGES; COLLECTION/GETTY SCREEN SILVER WOMAN: IMAGES ISTOCK/GETTY VIA NOA/LIGHTROCKET GETTYMACHADO SAILBOAT: IMAGES; ROBERTO BEACH: IMAGES; COMPANY/GETTY STEREOSCOPIC JUNE 2017 120 BALANCE HEALTH STRATEGY 1 STRATEGY 2 a bedside table. Before you open any app, JUST GO TO BED PRESS PAUSE ON THAT TREAT ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” If you’re feeling lonely—a wildly common driver of YES, WE KNOW it sounds crazy. But stay FOOD CAN BE an important part of self-care, late-night scrolling, says Durvasula—use your with us. When the National Sleep Founda- as long as you enjoy it mindfully (e.g., savor- phone to call someone, or have a conversa- tion asked women how many days in the ing the taste and texture of that Girl Scout tion with your partner or roommate…who’s previous week they’d woken up feeling well cookie, not devouring it while you zone out maybe in another room on the phone, too. rested, nearly one out of four said zero. in front of the computer). But you don’t want “Without the six to nine hours they may what you consume at night to leave you feel- need each night, people become prone to ing physically or emotionally uncomfortable STRATEGY 6 irritability, exacerbations of depression and the next morning. If it does, institute a short FIND OTHER TIME FOR ME TIME anxiety, increased appetite, and sugar crav- waiting period of at least 15 minutes, suggests truly enjoying them and some- ings,” says Lisa Medalie, PsyD, a behavioral Melissa Hartwig, author of Food Freedom FOR LATERSA BLAKELY of Holly Grove, times waking up feeling guilty sleep medicine specialist at the University Forever: Letting Go of Bad Habits, Guilt, and Arkansas, me time takes place twice a week about them, which is the oppo- of Chicago. “Sleep deprivation even increases Anxiety Around Food. “Tell yourself, ‘I’m an at Barnes & Noble, between 1 p.m. site of how me time should leave vulnerability to diabetes and hypertension.” adult; I can have these chips anytime I want. and 2 p.m.—after her part-time shift as a us feeling.” To help prioritize sleep, try reframing early They’ll be here tomorrow for me, too.’You’ll hotel front-desk assistant ends but before Your mom probably didn’t bedtime as a treat. Experts call it “cognitive be giving your brain time to evaluate whether her kids finish school. “I order a latte or have these me-time issues— restructuring,” and it means switching from you truly want the salt-and-vinegar chips or water, settle into a comfy window chair, maybe because there hasn’t thinking “I don’t have time for sleep; I have are just bored, stressed, or tired.” and lose myself in motivational, spiritual, always been an expectation that too much to do” to “Sleep is the best thing and business books,” says Blakely, 39, who women deserve time to them- I can do for myself. If I go to bed now, I’ll also works as a life coach. selves in the first place. In today’s feel so much better tomorrow.”Your reason- STRATEGY 3 Gratias likes this idea because it pairs a world, where self-care is the ing doesn’t even have to be that virtuous. FIND NEW WAYS relaxing pursuit with a time of day when buzzword du jour, we know bet- Alexandra Williams, a 58-year-old photog- TO SOOTHE your energy naturally tends to dip, so in ter. But while we’re trying to rapher and night owl from Santa Barbara, general you’ll feel calmer. If you’re a stay- carve out more time to decom- California, says she has motivated herself WHILE YOU’RE in your waiting period, try STRATEGY 4 STRATEGY 5 at-home parent, you may want to slate your press, modern life has become to turn in early by promising to bake Dutch options for recharging without snacks: a can FLIP YOUR WORK SCHEDULE SWEAR OFF SURFING me time during the kids’ early-afternoon the opposite of a decompression baby pancakes for her son in the morning of sparkling water or tea, a mud mask and UPSIDE DOWN AND SCROLLING nap times. If you’re working, use your lunch chamber. There are emails or “telling myself that it would make my 30 minutes of a tacky TV show, a gentle hour to listen to a podcast, text with a friend, around the clock, overscheduled eyes look good for a date I was going on.” yoga routine. The key is to spend me time HOME-DECORATING BLOGGER and mom “I CAN’T THINK of a single sleep specialist pick up a new lipstick, or take a walk near kids begging for homework help, If slipping between the sheets during prime doing something you really want to do, says of three Serena Appiah, 39, of Silver Spring, who would stamp approval on looking at the some water or through a park. and panic-inducing politics all time seems unimaginable, schedule a bed- Ramani Durvasula, PhD, a psychology pro- Maryland, used to stay up until 1 a.m., slog- news or social media before bed,” says Med- over your Facebook feed. (Where centric activity that satisfies your me-time fessor at California State University, Los ging through work projects with the TV on alie. Blue screen light suppresses the sleep- did all the cute babies go?!) goal. Been alone with the kids all day and Angeles. “While it’s important that it doesn’t and convincing herself this was quality me inducing hormone melatonin, and news reports STRATEGY 7 Look, we need time to relax; need intellectual stimulation? Read a book turn into a wine-induced Cheetos-fest every time. “But the later it got, the less produc- can rev you up so much that your stress HAVE FUN! done right, it enhances our pro- in bed and obey your eyelids when they grow night, it is important that it feels like an tive I became, so it took twice as long to response kicks in. Some research shows that ductivity, creativity, and con- heavy. Got a partner you haven’t seen since escape,” she says. “If you can’t stand how write blog posts or edit videos,” she admits. social media doesn’t necessarily leave us feel- “WE SPEND SO much energy and time centration. Research from the 6 a.m.? Have sex or cuddle in bed and talk. tea tastes, it won’t work.” Plus, “I’d be so tired in the morning, I’d fall ing happy; rather, “it confirms our feelings focused on productivity that we no longer University of Michigan shows asleep at my desk or even at a stoplight.” of ‘I’m not good enough,’” notes Durvasula. recognize fun when we see it,” says Scritch- that lacking enough me time Her fix: Swap all-nighters for early- Pare back using the Freedom app ($7 a field.

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