The Courchevel Enquirer the Return of the Boulotte
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Issue 12 18/2/12 The Courchevel Enquirer The return of the Boulotte naked people writhing around on the floor.... it can only be a standard apres in the Boulotte. A note from the editor Last year, after a major fire in the hotel above the Boulotte and the Bubble both were closed due to water damage etc. Where the Bubble reopened at the start of 11-12 the Boulotte did- n’t. The good news is that after a lengthy court battle Katie has finally reopened giving 1650 another place to get hammered while getting naked listening to Bring your sisters and as it’s just next to the Bubble it’s not far for a naked Byron to walk. Those of you who are regular vistors to the Refuge in 1850 will have noticed an absence of their regular barmen. Jimbo and Jeremy are no longer working behind the bar. Jimbo can now been found down in the Boulotte for the remainder of the season. Finally please be aware that page 3 contains some very adult themes and caution should be taken before reading. THE SURGEON GENERAL WARNS Doing ski seasons can be highly addictive, can seriously damage your sanity, result in a general lack of sleep, makes your arse bigger, increase the chances of getting a blow job in the skidoo hut outside Kudeta and waking up next to a complete stranger. Injury of the week SEASONNAIRES FRIENDS AND FAMILY SKI RENTAL 50% atOFF Email: [email protected] to pre book. Shop service only. Unlike last weeks “don’t punch a wall when you are drunk” Byron masterclass this week we have “don’t try to nick a pair of goggles from an irishman in Le Bar” otherwise you are liable to get punched in the face. Quote of the week “I’m 18” “What’s your year of birth?” Every week we shall ask what really gets Aaron’s goat. This week.... “1992” FRENCH HOLIDAYS What with this being the French alps in “Wrong answer, thank France and it being full of French people on holiday the slopes are full of people with the skiing etiquette of an out of con- you for playing” trol rhino. The odds of making contact with an out of control idoit with the fash- “Can I try again?” ion sense of someone stuck in the eight- ies what with the tight jeans, gatters and “NO!” a prehistoric set of rear entry salomon A half term drunken ID check boots and straight skis. Personaly having a resort full of 16 year old kids with fake ids trying to buy alco- hol is pretty annoying. WARNING - THIS PAGE CONTAINS SOME VERY ADULT CONTENT BRITISH CHARTERED AND IS NOT RECOMMENDED FOR THE WEAK OF HEART. PHYSIOTHERAPISTS Aarons Valentines day SIÂN LEWIS list of smut BSc, MCSP, Dip AP Sports Phys Endless winter’s walrus of love CHRISTOPHER (deviant) hands out everything MAHER you need to know about freaky BSc, MSCP sexual stuff that will probably make your girlfriend dump you quicker than you can say hot- CALL FOR CONSULTATION pocket. OR MASSAGE 06 68 57 00 99 The Angry Pirate. The act of receiving oral sex while standing up right, ending with the receiver not only shooting his sperm rocket into one of the giver's eyes, but also kicking the giver in one of his/her shins, thereby hindering the giver with a "peg leg" and a defunct eye. The Angry Dolphin involves normal sex, as in where the "hrum" is in the "vageen", and the man proceeds to pull out and insert into the woman's ass. Angered, the woman responds with the yelling of "Enh! Enh! Enh! Enh!!!!" This is basically the sound a dolphin makes. Assuming the chic isnt into anal, she will emit this sound with much anger, but you'll probably do it anyway....because deep down she really wants it. The Angry Dragon. Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon. The Strawberry Shortcake. The action in which the male ejaculates on his partner's face, and then the male punches his partner's nose, which causes blood to stream forth. The semen and blood fluids create a red and white image, just like the icing and filling of a strawberry shortcake. The Houdini. As a man reaches climax whilst in the "doggie style" position, the man pulls out and spits on their partner's back, fooling them into thinking that he has ejaculated, however, when their partner turns around, the man lets loose his baby yoghurt in his partner's face. The Rusty Trombone. To get rimmed whilst receiving a hearty reach round, thus resembling a trombone player in full chorus. The Abe Lincoln. When an unconscious person gets jizzed on their face, gets their pubes cut and applied to their face to form a beard, then adorned with a top hat. Dirty Sanchez is commonly mistaken to be an act where the fecal matter is purposefully smeared onto a partner's upper lip. It describes the act of leaving a fecal matter "moustache" on a partner's face by taking the penis out of the anus and putting it in the mouth without wiping it off first. The result is that as the penis is thrust between the lips, fecal matter is scraped off and comes to rest on the upper lip in a moustache configuration. The Alabama Hot Pocket is a special fetish manoeuvre that roughly involves taking a shi.... Not even I will print this. Trust me you don’t want to know. sponsored by For a comfortable and relaxing airport transfer this season Call Ryan 0033 (0)6 35 37 28 23 or email [email protected] Seasonnaire rates available Geneva, Chambery, Lyon, Grenoble, Moutiers, Courchevel, Meribel, Motteret, la Tania The Hoody form For the past month I have been pestering company managers to fill out their hoody forms. There have been the usual excuses. The “I’ve lost the form” one comes in many guises. But one company takes the bis- cuit. Stand up Ski Esprit and take a bow. It appears the hoody form is cursed. I gave a copy to Bob, who a few weeks later was fired. In desperation to get something One of the major criticisms, One of filled out I gave another form to the MANY major criticisms I get someone else, who was promptly about this paper is that of all the fired. I offered it to a third person, Courchevel villages it only covers who prefered to keep their job (for 1850 and sometimes 1650. The the time being). explanation for this is simple. I live in I’m in no way saying that this is and drink around the bars of 1850 and so I hear what goes on in 1850. like the paper version of “the ring” That's were you come in. If you or that Esprit are randomly firing have any stories, gossip, photos, all their staff. suggestions etc. I want to hear from you. I am usually in one of the 1850 Courchevel Weather Forecast for I bars every evening. Alternatively 2000 m altitude,issued (local time): for those of you who are more 9 am 18 Feb. Summary: A light cov- WANT YOU! technically minded you can email ering of new snow mostly falling on be directly on info@courcheve- Sun afternoon. Temperatures will be to dish the dirt lenquirer.com below freezing (max -1°C on Sat The Courchevel Enquirer comes out every Saturday. I look morning, min -14°C on Sun night). forward to hearing from you. Wind will be generally light. Confidentiality assured! honestly!! Courtesy of www.snow-forecast.com.