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Current Jewish Questions Shomer Negiah / Kiruv Bassar Current Jewish Questions Shomer Negiah / Kiruv Bassar I. Biblical Basis 1. ויקרא יח, ו Leviticus 18:6 .1 אִ יׁש אִ יׁש אֶ ל כָּל ׁשְׁ אֵ ר בְׁשָּ רו ֹלא תִקְׁרְׁ בּו No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual לְׁגַּלות עֶרְׁ וָּה אֲנִי יְׁק וָּק: .relations. I am the Lord 2. ויקרא יח, יט Leviticus 18:19 .2 וְׁאֶ ל אִשָּ ה בְׁ נִדַ ת טֻמְׁ ָאתָּ ּה ֹלא תִקְׁרַ ב לְׁגַּלות Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during עֶרְׁ וָּתָּ ּה: .the uncleanness of her monthly period II. Rabbinic Sources 3. ספרא אחרי מות פרשה ט Sifra Acharei Mot 9:13:2 .3 ואל אשה בנידת טומאתה לא תקרב Do not approach a menstruating woman to reveal her" לגלות ערותה, אין לי אלא שלא יגלה nakedness" – This only tells me not to reveal. How do I מנין שלא תקרב תלמוד לומר לא תקרב know not to come close? Therefore we learn, "to not אין לי אלא נידה בל תקרב בל תגלה, מנין לכל העריות בל תקרבו ובל תגלו, תלמוד ,approach." This only tells me for a menstruating woman לומר לא תקרבו לגלות "how do I know that this prohibition against "uncover applies to all forbidden women? Therefore we learn, "do not come close to uncover. 4. תלמוד בבלי קידושין ע:א B. Kiddushin 70a .4 אמר ליה: תיתי דונג תשקינן, אמר ליה, Let [my daughter] Donag come and serve drink,’ he‘ הכי אמר שמואל: אין משתמשים באשה. proposed. ‘Thus said Samuel,’ he [R. Yehuda] replied: ‘One קטנה היא! בפירוש אמר שמואל: אין ’ !must not make use of a woman.’ ‘[But] she is only a child משתמשים באשה כלל, בין גדולה בין קטנה Samuel distinctly said: One must make no use at all of a‘ — woman, whether adult or child.’ 5. תלמוד בבלי עבודה זרה יז:א B. Avoda Zara 17a .5 דא"ר פדת: לא אסרה תורה אלא קריבה For R. Pedath said: Only in the case of incest did the Torah של גלוי עריות בלבד, שנא': +ויקרא יח+ forbid close approach, as it is said, None of you shall איש איש אל כל שאר בשרו לא תקרבו approach to any that is near of kin to him to uncover their לגלות ערוה. עולא כי הוה אתי מבי רב, הוה מנשק להו לאחתיה אבי ידייהו, nakedness. 'Ulla on returning from college used to kiss his ואמרי לה: אבי חדייהו. ופליגא דידיה ,sisters on the hand; some say, on the breast. He, then אדידיה, דאמר עולא: קריבה בעלמא contradicts himself. For 'Ulla said: Even mere approach is אסור, משום לך לך, אמרין, נזירא, סחור forbidden because we say to a Nazarite, (Who has vowed to סחור לכרמא לא תקרב. ,abstain from wine or anything issuing from the vine) 'Go go — round about; but do not approach 'the vineyard.' (see Shabbat 13a) 6. תלמוד בבלי כתובות יז:א B. Ketuvot 17a .6 רב אחא מרכיב לה אכתפיה ומרקד, אמרי R. Aha took her on his shoulder and danced [with her]. The ליה רבנן: אנן מהו למיעבד הכי? אמר להו: אי דמיין עלייכו ככשורא - לחיי, ואי לא - Rabbis said to him: May we [also] do it? He said to them: If לא. ,they are on you like a beam, [then it is] all right, and if not [you may] not. Current Jewish Questions – Shomer Negiah / Kiruv Bassar 1 www.JoshYuter.com III. Rambam's Interpretation 7. רמב"ם איסורי ביאה כא הלכה א 7a. Rambam Issurei Biah 21:1 כל הבא על ערוה מן העריות דרך איברים Whoever comes to the nakedness of one of the prohibited או שחבק ונשק דרך תאוה ונהנה בקרוב women by "way of limbs" or through hugging or kissing in בשר הרי זה לוקה מן התורה, שנאמר the way of desire and benefits from the closeness of לבלתי עשות מחקות התועבות וגו' ונאמר לא תקרבו לגלות ערוה, כלומר לא flesh, he is lashed in accordance with biblical law for it is תקרבו לדברים המביאין לידי גילוי written, "Keep my requirements and do not follow any of ערוה. the detestable customs that were practiced before you came and do not defile yourselves with them "(Lev. 18:30) and it is written, "do not come close to uncover nakedness" – meaning do not come close to things which will lead one to reveal nakedness. רמב"ם איסורי ביאה כא:ה אסור להשתמש באשה כלל בין גדולה בין 7b. Rambam Issurei Biah 21:5 קטנה בין שפחה בין משוחררת שמא יבוא לידי הרהור, באי זה שמוש אמרו It is forbidden to "make use" with a woman at all, whether רחיצת פניו ידיו ורגליו והצעת מטה לפניו she is an adult or a child, whether she is free or a slave, lest ומזיגת הכוס שאין עושה לאיש דברים one come to improper thoughts. And what is meant by אלו אלא אשתו בלבד, ואין שואלין make use?" This refers to washing one's face, hands, or" בשלום אשה כלל ואפילו על ידי שליח. feet, setting one's bed before him, or pouring his cup – for these are things which are a woman only does for a man to whom she is married. And one does not inquire as to the רמב"ם איסורי ביאה כא:ו .wellbeing of a woman, even through an agent המחבק אחת מן העריות שאין לבו של אדם נוקפו עליהן או שנשק לאחת מהן כגון אחותו הגדולה ואחות אמו וכיוצא 7c. Rambam Issurei Biah 21:6 בהן אף על פי שאין שם תאוה ולא הנאה Someone who hugs one of the forbidden women for whom כלל הרי זה מגונה ביותר ודבר אסור הוא the heart of man does not beat, or kisses one of them such ומעשה טפשים הוא, שאין קריבין as his adult sister, aunt, or the like, even though there is no לערוה כלל בין גדולה בין קטנה חוץ ,desire or sexual benefit at all, it is extremely disgusting מהאם לבנה והאב לבתו. and this is forbidden, and the actions of fools, for one does not come close to the forbidden women at all, whether they be adults or children, except for a mother to her son and a father to his daughter IV. Family Matters 8. משנה קידושין ד:יב 8a. M. Kiddushin 4:12 לא יתיחד אדם עם שתי נשים אבל אשה A man may not be alone with two women, but one woman אחת מתיחדת עם שני אנשים רבי שמעון may be alone with two men. R. Simeon said: Even one man אומר אף איש אחד מתייחד עם שתי may be alone with two women, if his wife is with him, and נשים בזמן שאשתו עמו וישן עמהם בפונדקי מפני שאשתו משמרתו מתייחד he may sleep with them in an inn, because his wife watches אדם עם אמו ועם בתו וישן עמהם בקרוב ,him. A man may be alone with his mother and his daughter בשר ואם הגדילו זו ישנה בכסותה וזה ;and he may sleep with them in immediate bodily contact ישן בכסותו: but when they grow up, she must sleep in her garment and he in his. Current Jewish Questions – Shomer Negiah / Kiruv Bassar 2 www.JoshYuter.com תלמוד בבלי קידושין פא:ב 8b. B. Kiddushin 81b מתייחד אדם עם אמו. אמר רב יהודה A MAN MAY BE ALONE WITH HIS MOTHER. Rab אמר רב אסי: מתייחד אדם עם אחותו, Judah said in R. Assi's name: A man may be alone with his ודר עם אמו ועם בתו. כי אמרה קמיה sister, and dwell with his mother and daughter [alone]. When דשמואל, אמר: אסור להתייחד עם כל עריות שבתורה, ואפילו עם בהמה. תנן: he stated it in Samuel's presence, he said: One may not be מתייחד אדם עם אמו ועם בתו, וישן alone with any person interdicted in the Torah, [and] even עמהם בקירוב בשר; ותיובתא דשמואל! with an animal. We learnt: A MAN MAY BE ALONE אמר לך שמואל: וליטעמיך, הא דתניא: WITH HIS MOTHER AND His DAUGHTER, AND HE אחותו וחמותו ושאר כל עריות שבתורה MAY SLEEP WITH THEM IN IMMEDIATE BODILY - אין מתייחד עמהם אלא בעדים; בעדים CONTACT, — this refutes Samuel? — Samuel can answer אין, שלא בעדים לא! אלא תנאי היא; you: And on your view, [how explain] what was taught: ‘[As דתניא, אמר רבי מאיר: הזהרו בי מפני regards] a sister, a mother-in-law, and all other forbidden בתי. אמר רבי טרפון: הזהרו בי מפני כלתי; ליגלג עליו אותו תלמיד. אמר רבי relations of the Torah, one may be alone with them only אבהו משום רבי חנינא בן גמליאל: לא when there are witnesses’, thus, only in the presence of היו ימים מועטים, עד שנכשל אותו witnesses, but not otherwise? But [you must say] it is [a תלמיד בחמותו :controversy of] Tannaim. For it was taught: R. Meir said Guard me from my daughter; R. Tarfon said: Guard me from my daughter-in-law. But a certain disciple scoffed at him. Said R. Abbahu on the authority of R. Hanina b. Gamaliel, ‘It did not take long before that disciple offended through his mother-in-law.’ V. A Modern Application – R. Moshe Feinstein on Riding the Subway 9. שו"ת אגרות משה אבן העזר ב: יד Iggrot Moshe E.H. 2:14 .9 בדבר הליכה בסאבוויי ובבאסעס בזמן August 1960 3 שהולכים בני אדם לעבודתם שנמצאים Regarding travelling on the subway or busses when people שם אנשים ונשים דחופים זה בזה, are going to work, where we find men and women pushing שקשה מליזהר מנגיעה ודחיפה בנשים אם מותר אז ללכת בשעות אלו שם. הנה against each other, that it is difficult to refrain from touching מצד הנגיעה ודחיפה בנשים אז ליכא or pushing women, if it is permitted to travel during those שום איסור משום דאין זה דרך תאוה hours.
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