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~ ~ DonneUy's Brides ol Bostol\ Providence, R.I. Warwick, R.I. JJ G 2 - THE RHODE ISLAND HERALD, FRIDAY, MARCH 8, 1985 Island Hall of Fame . . . Four star athlete their families are cordially invited to at URI in the 1940's ... Continued his attend and participate. career as teacher, high school coach and administrator in the Westerly/ Pawcatuck, Majestic Seniors Meet Local News Conn. area. The Veteran Division and The first meeting of 1985 of the Contemporary Division inductees along Majestic Senior Guild will be held with two Service to Sports Division Tuesday, March 19, at 12:30 p.m. at winners who will be announced later this Temple Torat Yisrael, Park Ave., James Winoker Honored Jewish Hall Of Fame week, will be inducted at the Hall of Fame Cranston. Various trips will be discussed. By Business Associates dinner next Sunday at the Jewish A trip to "Whites;; Westport, Mass., has Adds Inductees Community Center. Tickets can be been arranged for May 14. It will include James R. Winoker, President of B.B. The Jewish Community Center of R.I. obtained by calling Elliott Goldstein at the lunch, entertainment and bus Greenberg Co. in Providence has been announced the Contemporary Division Center at 861 -8800. transportation. Reservations and money named The New England Council's Vice inductees to the R.I. Jewish Athletic Hall will accepted at the meeting. Chairman for Rhode Island, announced of Fame. Joining the Veterans Division Services At Council Chairman W.N. DeWitt, nominees, Lou Farber, Morris Billingkoff Temple Sholom Passover Workshop At Chairman and CEO of BankEast, N.H. and Doris Kelman Dannenhirsch, will be Cong. Beth Sholom The New England Council is a regional Dr1 Milton Hodosh, Stan Abrams and The Late Shabbat Eve Worship Service business association of 1,300 member Morris "Moose" Fabricant. at Temple Shalom of Middletown on Congregation Beth Sholom will be firms working to improve economic • Dr. Hod.ash - a former all-state Friday evening, March 8, will be dedicated holding a Passover lecture and workshop conditions by promoting national and athlete, three time all New England in the to the saving of Falashas, Ethiopian Jews on Sunday, March 17. The session will be regional policies that enhance New Javelin and shot put . . . Honorable and has been named "Operation Moses." devoted to a detailed discussion of the laws England's business climate. mention All-American football player at Rabbi Marc S. Jagolinzer will chant the of Passover. As Vice Chairman for Rhode Island, Brown. Member of the Brown University liturgical portions, offer a special prayer Topics to be covered include which Winoker, who also serves on The Council's Hall of Fame. on behalf of these people and will deliver a foods are kosher for Passover with or Executive Committee, will establish a • Stan Abrams - All-state football and sermon on the Falashas entitled, "Exodus without certification, and the kashering steering committee of Council members in basketball player . . . Played at Harvard Ethiopia." An Oneg Shabbat will follow and preparation of the home for the Rhode Island as well as develop a Rhode until an injury .ca:..ised him to tum his the service, _graciously sponsored by Mr. holiday. Island agenda and related programs in talents to golf ... Captain of the Harvard and Mrs. Alan Schlackman in honor of the The workshop will be conducted by conjunction with The Council's 1985 team ... Graduated magna cum laude . forthcoming wedding of their son, Marc, Rabbi Singer and is free and open to all Competitive Strategy for New England.· Two time R.I. St.ate Golf Champion. to Doreen Mello. members of the community. It will take • Morris Fabricant - Recently Winoker resides in Providence, R.l. On Saturday morning, March 9, at 10 place at the synagogue at ll:l5a.m. There inducted into the University of Rhode a.m. a Shabbat Youth Service and will be a question and answer period at the Luncheon will be held. Young people and conclusion of the session.

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by Robert St. John However, wQat is most important is the From The Editor Eckville, Alberta, Canada is a long, long effect the case has had on public opinion by Robert Ji.rael way from Baltimore, Detroit, Chicago or throughout the province of Alberta, where almost anywhere else in the United States, only one out of every 300 inhabitants is a and what happens up there might seem to Jew. be of remote interest to anyone down here, In Calgary for years there has been a )'et there is something important to be branch of the Canadian Council of learned from the story of Jim Keegstra. Christians and Jews, commonly called the Mr. Jim Keegstra was a teacher in the CCCJ, but Until recently it was heard from Combating Anti-Semitism high school at Eckville, a town with a only once a year, when it held an annual population of less than 900, almost a awards banquet. When the Keegstra Story hundred miles north of Calgary, the oil broke the CCCJ remained silent. As one In Vermont center of Canada. Two years ago he was member put it, "We discovered that we fired from his job when parents had never set up any channel$ of Driving along on Route 15 west in times it's just been vulgar. It's a case of complained about the subject matter being communication." This greatly disturbed Johnson, Vermont, on my way to • ignorance, I think, not anti-Semitism. taught in Keegstra's social science classes. Jewish leaders in Calgary and so the B'nai Smuggler's Notch Ski Area in We went down to the college in the area Specifically, they accused him of telling B'rith League of Human Rights went into Jeffersonville, I first noticed the - we think it has to do with the kids his impressionable young charges that the action. Phone calls were made to building. It's a small, innocuous from Johnson State College, we don't Holocaust never occurred - that the Protestaqt ministers and Catholic priests. building, across from a graveyard. know for sure, but we think so, it's a gut stories about six million murdered Jews Each was asked: What sets it apart from the other feeling - and we've met with the Dean were just a hoax invented by the Jews to "What are you doing about the Keegstra buildings is that it is covered with ' of Students. He promised to talk with gain world sympathy - and that there Case?" anti-Semitic graffiti, vicious and the students. I assume he did. But the was a worldwide Zionist conspiracy to Most responded negatively, and with vulgar, spray-painted on all sides, for graffiti is back there. I'm very sorry. bring about the creation of a world embarrassment. The end result was a all to see. You can be sure we'll take care of it government. press conference involving a number of When I returned home, I telephoned immediately." The case came to my attention when, rabbis, ministers and priests. Then the the town clerk of Johnson, Vermont. I I told Fre".i I had written a letter to early this year on a trip through Southeast CCCJ was revitalized. New committees wanted to report the incident to the the editor of the Burlington Free Asia, I met a resident of Calgary who, were formed. A full-time director was clerk, to hllve the building painted. Press, indicating my outrage that although not Jewish, was so incensed by engaged. More meeting of clergy and "Yes, I know about the building," the the matter had not been dealt with long the Keegstra Case that she wanted to talk rabbis were scheduled. Next April 29, clerk said. "It's been covered with before this. My letter, published last about it. · when Calgary synagogues commemorate graffiti before." week, also offered my services as a For two years the case has dragged on. the Holocaust, Calgary's chur<:hes will do "How· long has the graffiti been on building painter to cover over the Every now and then the Calgary papers likewise, At the University of Calgary a the building this time?" I asked. vulgarity. The letter concluded with a publish another story about the case, monthly Christian-Jewish theological "Since the summer,'' she replied. suggestion that the town utilize the always on Page One and generally with a dialogue will be held. Mentally, I counted backward until I services of the Anti-Defamation picture of the ex-teacher, thin-lipped, All this as a result of one man's came up with the number eight. League of the B'nai B'rith which unsmiling, looking very annoyed. anti-Semitic stupidity. "Eight months?" I asked. sponsors lectures and slide shows in In addition to losing his teaching No matter whether or not Jim Keegstra "I'd say so," she said. schools to combat the problem through position, the 50-year-old Canadian has is found guilty of violating Canada's "And no one called you before this education. I made the same suggestion been made the defendant in a criminal anti-hate law, and no matter, if found complaining of the vulgarity on the to Fred, and gave him the telephone case, charged with "promoting hatred guilty, what punishment is meted out to building?" number of the AOL in Boston. By way against an identifiable group, the Jewish him, he has unwittingly and quite "I received one other phone call of courtesy, so that the AOL realized I people." Finally a trial date has been set. ironically done a great service to before yours," she said. was offering their services, I made the The selection of a jury is now scheduled inter-group relations in Canada. I asked who owned the building. I same suggestion to the AOL, giving fo r April 9. If ever anywhere in Alberta another was told the owner is the New them Fred Reedy's telephone number A justice of the Queen's Bench several anti-Semitic incident occurs, there is now England Telepho~~ :ompany. and asking that I be brought up to date weeks ago handed down a 51-page ruling a apparatus that will be ready to deal with on all developme~~· • on the plea of the teacher's lawyer that the it quickly and effectively. Fred Reedy is an amiable man who charge against him infringed on his rights, For the rest of us, it's a lesson in how a works as director of public relations for I am sharing this story with you specifically his right of free speech. The minus can be turned into a plus; how good New England Telephone in Burlington, because I related part of it to the ruling was that under Canadian law can come from even an outcropping of Vermont. I had tried to call him a few students of Rabbi Saul Leeman's class freedom of speech does not permit blatant anti-Semitism. times and missed him - his secretary in anti-Semitism last Wednesday night willfully promoting hatred against any Robert St. John writes for the Jewish told me he was in meetings. He tried to at Temple Emanu-El in Providence. I group of people. Times. call me back - the receptionist here at was asked by a student what an the Herald told him I was out on individual should do when faced with assignments. We finally connected, incidents of anti-Semitism. Ethiopian Jewry Update beginning the conversation jokingly What I have done is to simply find about our missed connections. When I out who, wliat, when, why and' where told him the nature of my telephone and bring it to the attention of the by Michael Fink and take all their money which they have call, I could hear his amiable charm . proper authorities. Had I not been Demozie Melalrn was my interpreter at and now some of them are in presion and disappear. He was upset. satisfied with the results, I would have the absorption' center in Gvat Olga - he some of them are suffring in hunger. "I'll have to check with my field driven to Johnson, Vermont and spoke Hebrew, English, and his native Everythime I 'am crying by them. Because supervisor," be told me. "I'll call you painted the building over. I am glad I Ge'ez. He asked me for my address, and I they dont have money they are old they right back." didn't have to - not because of the took his. Several weeks later, I received are very hunger. I am living good in Ten minutes later he telephoned expense or the inconvenience -:- but the following letter from him. It meant a ISREL But I am thinking every time again. because the responsibility for such an great deal to me, because thus far we have about them. OK MR. MEKAEL thank " I checked it out with my _ actjon rests within the community read or heard accounts about the you about your letter please send me letter supervisor," he said. "It's our building where the incident occurred. My letter Ethiopian Jews, rather than accounts by back as soon as possible. all right. And it's not the first time we've to the editor, telephone call to the thim directly. We have seen group Yours had this trouble. We;ve had problems building's owners and 8.SSurance from portraits, not individual portraits. The Demozie Melaku with this building and with a building the ADL in Boston that a latest scandal is the report from the in Swanton. We paint them over and representative will visit the schools will Ethiopian government - but one has the kids - we think it's kids - keep adequately address the problem. heard it as a prejudice in the streets as well Dear Prof. Fink, coming back and spray-painting them What can you do? You should and ...:. that the Falashas are being brought to We thank you very much for your postcard. We are and I mean the again. This is the only time it has been must do the same as I have done - and Israel as slaves, and, further, that they are Ethiopian people progressing in an anti-Semitic in tone. All the other more. not Jewish. I offer my personal correspondence as direct witness to the amazing speed towards adaptation in contrary. In addition, Miriam Duhi, a Israeli society. Dutch woman who is writing and As I am interviewing the families more publishing stories of Dutch resistance, and more I become convinced that the currently director of the Gvat Olga research you are doing will be very absorption center, Writes a statement of important. Many of them know weaving, hope and faith in the Ethiopian Jewish pottery and other handicrafts and it is IUSPS 464•780) important that these arts will not be lost P~l!...... ,W..i,IJThe community. WMll!PMe...... hlngeomp.,,,. Let us not only congratulate Israel and in a few years as is happening with so support her in this great campaign. Let us many cultures today. also enjoy and celebrate a remarkable and I am sorry for my bad phrasing, but I am Editor ANoeiate Editor always in a hurry and many problems have Robert hrael . Suua Hlg~m resour<:eful people of our people. to be solved every day. AdvertiRn( Director Account E:s.ecutive Dear Prof MICHAEL FINK: Many women already do some beautiful Kathi Wnek Katherine Burke How are you I am Very well thank you. MR MECHEL I want to tell you about needlework and the designs are gorgeous. Also I try to get the men interested in how we reach to ISRAEL. In Ethiopia a doing the weaving after classes and I hope MalH119AOdr1olllC llo•toU.~•.A.~02MCI state worker. But the state opress the we succeed. People want to be different r....-, C401)1:u-o211G Jewish people He dont give good land for Pl.ANT: HeraldW-,,onw-lL,h"'-,R.l.02N1 from what they were and what they did in Of'FICf:: HIT ■ -A ...,b ■t~e, R.tltZII' agreculuture for praying peace. He opress Ethiopia. Of course there are many other the religion to convert to the Christian things which happen here. Tomorrow for =;:=:.r'~R.1~=~~ro: I':e a~iUi: instance we are going to plant together :C:~e i~~t~· 1e;'ii' t~!:1;\: with an army unit 100 new trees around people start journy from Ethiopia to the ~mo~'.t.1::r ==M~v,~~,~~~C:!: the absorption center. ■nnum . 8ulk, ■ !"onr9qUMII.Theliw •ld ■ t....,,.,.,~ border countary to come to ISRAEL and I I wish you and your family good health Candlellghtlng t1on1••·-,.,,,...•nolifledl01h■ oon11' •,y lnwtltln9 . was one of them. The journey takes about and many regards. 30 days on foot from Ethiopia to the In the beginning of April I plan to travel ~~~~i~Z:~~~~~= border countary with a great secret. And March 8, 1985 =::'O::::!J:8.:..";.::1,~111■ ~ntlmmecHM~ to Holland for the publishing of my book. we live in the border countary within the Youn, R. Cron about 9 months at that time we 5:26p.m. u- ....,..,w1p11, U"90llc:i1itd m,nu-lpl1 .,. - · Miriam Dubi dont have food, shelter, etc. More than 3000 people had died. And we live about 9 itdllot•~-lh■ ~ol111■ -• . no1111■-. . Michm!l Fink i, on auociote profeuor of :::~111■ -- · •leltp'lone--lOr months and we reach in israel within 10 =·~==--==-5: months. But my father mother b~then Er18liah at RISD. HU report on Ethi,opion and sisters when they start to come the Jew, in Jamel wa, publilhed la,t month in FRIDAY, MARCH 8, 1985 state catch them and take them to preeion tMHerald. THE RHODE ISLAND HERALD, FRIDAY, MARCH 8, 1985 - 15 Temple Sinai Beth Am-Beth David Wednesday, April 17 - Warwick Tuesday, June 18 - Adult Social Seniors Meeting • 12:30 p.m., Education conducted by Rabbi MARCH MARCH Sisterhood Torah Supperette - 6:30 Leibovitz - 7:30 p.m. 15 - Social Action Sabbath, 8:15 Saturday, March 9 - Purim Ball - 8 p.m. Friday, June 21 - In.et.allation of p.m. p.m. Tuesday, April 23 - Adult officers of Main Group and all 17 - Seminar: Kids, Drugs, Alcohol, Monday, March 11 - Sisterhood Education conducted by Rabbi Temple-affiliated organizations • 8:15 11:15 a.m. Board Meeting, 7:30 p.m. Leibovitz - 7:30 p.m. p.m. 19 - Adult Education, 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, March 12 - Adult Friday, April 26 - Religious Tuesday, June 25 Adult 22 - Sabbath of Song, 8: 15 p.m. Education Condu'cted by Rabbi School's Dated Class conducts Shabbat Education conducted by Rabbi 24 - Sisterhood Board and Leibovitz - 7:30 p.m. Services - 8:15 p.m. Leibovitz - 7:30 p.m. Breakfast Meeting, 9 a.m. Wednesday, March 13 - Warwick Saturday, April 27 - Hebrew High 26 - Adult Education, 7:30 p.m. Social Seniors Meeting - 12:30 p.m. School Dance • 8 p.m. 29 - Tri-Congregation Services, Thursday, March 14 - Adult Sunday, April 28 - Men's Club JCCRI 8:15p.m. Education: "The Empty Nest - Breakfast. 31 - Model Sedar, 10 a.m. The foUowing are special events at the What's Nert - or Retirement Can Be Tuesday, April 30 Adult Jewish Community Center this spring: Fun." - 7 p.m. APRIL Education conducted by Rabbi Sunday, April 6 - Community 1 - Brotherhood Supper Meeting, 6 Sunday, March 17 - Breakfast for Leibovitz • 7:30 p.m. Passover Seder p.m. Bingo Workers - 9:30 a.m. MAY Sunday, April 14 - Art Auction 1 - Temple Board Meeting, 8 p.m. Monday, March 18 - General Sunday, May 5 - Pre-School May 2 - Adult Education, 7:30 p.m. Membership Meeting - 7:30 p.m. Monday, May 6 - Main Group Breakfast & ITCC Yard Sale 6 - Passover Festiva1 Service, 11:15 Tuesday, March 19 - Adult Board Meeting • 7:30 p.m. Wedne,day, May 9 - JCCRI Annual a.m. Education conducted by Rabbi Tuesday, May 7 - Sisterhood Meeting 9 - Adult Education, 7:30 p.m. Leibovitz. Donor Dinner and Raffle - 6:30 p.m., Sunday, June 9 - B'nai Mitzvah Thursday, March 21- - Adult 11 - Service of Dedication/Yizkor, Adult Education conducted by Rabbi Carnival and Talent Show 8:15p.m. Education: Parnosaab - an Em.lbit Leibovitz • 7:30 p.m. Gallery 401 - Based on the History of Jews in Rhode 12 - 7th Day Passover-Family Wednesday, May 8 - Warwick March 3-25 - Judy $.inpen, Pencil Service, 7:30 p.m. Island 1880-1920 - 7 p.m. Social Seniors Meeting - 12:30 p.m. Drawings: East Side Streets. Friday, March 22- - USY members 22 - Sisterhood Dessert Bridge Monday, May 13 - General March 31-April 28 - Arthur Swoger, 29 - Israel Independence Day conduct Shahbat Sel'Vices • 8:15 p.m. Membership Meeting and Election of Adventures in Natural History - Service, 8: 15 p.m. Saturday, March 23 - USY Officers - 7:30 p.m. Plwtography MAY State-wide Dance - 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, May 14 - Adult April 5-28 - Pam Young, Ceramics in 3 - Family Service, 7:30 p.m. Sunday, March 24 - Men's Chili Education conducted by Rabbi conjunction with Rhode Island Crafts 5 - Sisterhood Rummage Sale Breakfast Meeting featuring area Leibovitz - 7:30 p.m. Month 6 - Brotherhood Supper Meeting, 6 sports personalities - 9:30 a.m.. Wednesday, May 15 and Thursday, The Jewish Community Center of Monday, March 25 - Sisterhood p.m. May 16 - Sisterhood Rummage Sa.Je. Rhode ¥:land is located at 401 Elmgrove 6 - Temple Board Meeting, 8 p.m. Board Meeting • 7:30 p.m. Friday, May 17 - Men's Club Avenue, Providence, RI 02906. Call us at 10 - Sisterhood Sabbath, 8:15 p.m. Tuesday, March ' 26 - Adult conducts Shabbat Services• 8:15 p.m. 861-8800 for information on how to 13 - Sisterhood Dinner and Education conducted by Rabbi Saturday, May 18 - Annual Raffle become a member, or how to enroll in a Installation Leibovitz. Dance. class ihat interests you. We'd love to have 17 - Brotherhood Sabbath, 8: 15 Wednesday, March 27 - Warwick Sunday, May 19 - Eunice 1,eidman you become part of our "family." p.m. Social Seniors Model Seder • 1 p.m. School Awards Program. 25 - Eve of Shavuot-Confirmation, Thursday, March 28 - Adult Monday, May 20 - Sisterhood Sp.m. F.ducation: Early History of the Election • 7:30 p.m. Jewish Family Service 26 - Shavuot Service, 11:15 p.m. Providence Jewish Community - 7 Tuesday, May 21 - Adult 26 - Yizkor Service, 5:45 p.m. p.m., Panel of Holocaust Survivors to Education conducted by Rabbi The following schedule of Family address Religious School's Hey Class • Leibovitz - 7:30 p.m. Life Education programs will take JUNE place this spring: 2 - Picnic, 12 noon 4:30 p.m. Wednesday, May 22 - Warwick Friday, March 29 - Temple choir Social Seniors Meeting - 12:30 p.m. Mothers of Toddlers - March 19, 3 - Brotherhood Supper Meeting, 6 26; April 2, 9, 16, 23 (JCC) p.m. participates in services - 8:15 p.m. Friday, May 23 One Marriage, Two Religioits - 3 - Temple Board Meeting, 8 p.m. Friday, March 29 through Sunday, Federation/Synagogue Relations April 1, 18, 15 (JFS) 7 - Family Service, 7:30 p.m. March 31 - USY participation in Program • 8:15 p.m. weekend Regional Convention in Sunday, May 26 - Men's Club Mothers and Infants - April 30; Additional Service Times: May 7, 14, 21, 28; June 4, 11, 18 (JCC) Daily Services Sat.•Thurs., 5:45 p.m. Canton, Mass. Breakfast Meeting. Sunday, March 31 - Religious Tuesday, May 28 - Adult Coping with Impairment - ongoing, Friday evenings (if not specified held on the first and third Wednesday above through June 28}, 8:15 p.m. School Model Seder followed by Education conducted by Rabbi dedication of the Beth David Chapel • Leibovitz - 7:30 p.m. of the month from 12:30-.1:30, Friday evenings, July and August, 6 beginning in April (JFS) p.m. 10:15 a.m. Friday, May 31 - Religious School APRIL Awards Program • 8:15 p.m. (JFS'-= Jewish Family Service, 229 Saturday Morning Services, 11: 15 Waterman Ave., Providence. (JCC} a.m. Monday, April 1 - Main Group JUNE Board Meeting - 7:30 p.m. Sunday, June 2 - Jewish War R.I. Jewish Community Center, Additional Information: Elmgrove Ave., Providence. For more Bingo - Wednesday evenings at Tuesday, April 2...:. Adult Education Veterans Dinner - 6:30 p.m. conducted by Rabbi Leibovitz - 7:30 Monday, June 3 - Main Group information, telephone JFS at ~- Auction City, 6:45 p.m. 331 -1244. Temple Library Hours: Tuesdays, p.m. Board Meeting - 7:30 p.m. 2:30-5 p.m.; Sundays, 9-12 noon. Monday, April 8 - Sisterhood Tuesday, June 4 - Adult Education Board Meeting - 7:30 p.m. conducted by Rabbi Leibovitz • 7:30 Tuesday, April 9 - Adult F.ducation p.m. conducted by Rabbi Leibovitz • 7:30 Tuesday, June 11 - Adult p.m. Education conducted by Rabbi Tuesday, April 16 Adult Leibovitz • 7:30 p.m. Education conducted by Rabbi Wednesday, June 12 - Warwick Leibovitz - 7:30 p.m. Social Seniors Meeting - 12:30 p.m.

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VOLUME LXXII, NUMBER 10 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 30C PER COPY Israel Report: Washington Report: Ethiopian Jews Resettled Inside Israeli Embassy by Wolf Blilzer Republican, was also present. Jerusalem Post Over the years, the job of congressional What do people in Washington talk liaison at the embassy has become -~ about these days at an Israeli Embassy increasingly important. He is charged diplomatic reception? with monitoring Congressional activity Reporters and other guests had a and sentiment regarding Israel and the chance to find out when Ambassador Meir Middle East. Congress, of course, plays a Rosenne hosted a wine and hors d'oeuvre crucial role in shaping U.S. foreign policy. party to bid farewell to the Embassy's But understanding its ins and outs is one popular congressional liaiSon, Oded Eran, of the most · complex aspects of who is returning to the Foreign Ministry Washington. in Jerusalem. It was also an opportunity There are 100 senators and 435 to introduce his successor, Neville representatives plus thousands of staffers Lamdan, to the Washington scene. involved in the complicated process of There were scores of Republican and lawmaking. Following the sessions of the Democratic senators, representatives and various committees and subcommittees congressional staffers at the affair - as dealing with foreign affairs seems well as many Jewish political activists never·ending. The parliamentary involved in promoting strong U.S.•lsraeli •procedur.es can be mind boggling. Getting ties on Capitol Hill. a real grip on the .subject takes years. Among those who came to say goodby Thus, the congressional liaison is · to Eran were Democratic Senators Daniel certainly one of the most challenging jobs Inouye of Hawaii, Howard Metzenbaum at the Israeli Embassy. Lamdan, by all of Ohio, Frank Lautenberg of New Jersey accounts a talented diplomat with a solid and the recently·elected Paul Simon of track record in the Foreign Ministry, will Illinois. They were joined by Democratic not have it easy. Congressmen Larry Smith of Florida, Mel In recent years, Israel has been blessed Levine of California and many others. with some first·rate operatives who have The White House liaison to tbe Jewish , filled that role - Amos Eran, Zvi Rafi.ah community, Marshall Breger, 1 (Continued on page 11)

Newly arrived Ethiopian Jews in Israel. by Necbemia Meyers have the newcomers in their m.idst. Jewish Times The experience of Kiryat Shmoneh is REHOVOT, ISRAEL - The citizens encouraging at a time when Israel has not of Kiryat Shmoneh in the Upper Galilee hundreds but thousands of Ethiopian were less than enthusiastic when they Jews to absorb. were informed. a year and a. half ago that Real absorption, of course, is not a 54 Ethiopian Jewish families were to be matter of a year and a half; it will require sent to their town. a generation or even two. And in this Having suffered for years from PLO sense the Ethiopians in Kiryat Shmoneh Katusha rocket.a and terrorist raids - as also have a Jong way to go before they . well as from unemployment more recently become true Israelis, whatever that m!I-Y - they bad no de8ire to be saddJed with mean. yet another problem. While those dealing with them, officials Today the townspeople, and especially of the Jewish Agency and the Absorption the residents of the Esbkol Quarter where Ministry, are an ei:tremely devoted group, all the Ethiopian Jews live, are pleased to (Continued on page 10) Lewis Lipsitt:

Controlling Our Destiny Robert Goldberg and Ira WanhaW. by Sosan Higgin.I further indicated natural longevity is Photo by Robert brae) Lewis Llpsitt provoked responses compromised by conditions that killed by Robert Israel burden of raising a family -today would ranging from anxiety to disbelief to these people prematUJ"ely and were at The Jewish Family Service recently become less stressful. hopefulnees when he presented hie speech least in principle controllable. In effect he conducted a family life education course "In planning the course," Rob Goldberg to the Sisterhood of Temple Beth-El last feels by altering certain life situations "Does Father Know Best?," designed to said, "I read a book by Robert Greene Monday entitled: "How We Live and more people could live out the full provide an opportunity fo r fathers to entitled Good Morning Ma ry Sunshine When We Die la Largely a Paychologica1 complement of their lives. discuss. with other fathers, the stresses, which is a diary of the author's daughter's Matter." With the inspiration of an Between birth and age 30, the number anxieties and joys of being a male parent. first year of life. I found it to be a terrific Evangelist. the Director of the Brown one cause of death ii accident.a . • The facilitators of the course were Robert forum for ideas. I nei:t got together with University Child Study Center aaid Individuals with a certain psychological Goldberg, executive director at Temple Ira, a father of three, who I knew would be 1ignificant findings from recent atudie1 makeup will take more precautionary Beth•El in Providence and father of an able to offer more of a technical side to the demanded divulpnce. "Solid data now measures to avoid being hurt. An accident infant daughter, and Ira Warshaw, a course bec:ause of his experiences as a exists demonstrating the importance of lll the result of people being in control or doctor in private practice who has three father and a" a doctor." aaauming reaponaibility for one's own losing control of themselves and their children. The Jewish Family Service also In setting up a syllabus for the course, behavior. It lll no longer valid for people to destinies. As Dr. Lipsitt succinctly put it, formed a separate class for mothers and Rob and Ira decided to focus on the think oftbemeelvea as victinui of di8eaee," "Losing control of the thinge that entitled it "Mothers and Infant.a." This different stage8 of approaching the birth be i.neiAta. " I think many of the death• influence your life can kill you." class provided an opportunity for mothers of a child. the pregnancy, delivery and attributed to caiw:er and heart di.eaee lll1l "Life outcomes are due to a whole lo bring their infant.a to the JFS office1 on birth and what initial feelings the men in actually p11yCbologica] death.a." Resu1t8 concatenation of events.'' Still Lipaitt Waterman Street in Providence, and the group had toward these st.ages of the rrom hi.a long term stud.iea with newboma eeeA no reason not to asaume exchange and learn from other mothers. development of their yet. unborn child. have a.180 provided slrong evidence of respon1ibility for many fact.on under the In an age when nuclear familiea are "Then we wanted to di&cuse the birth of payt:bolocical fact.on contributing to control of the individual. " I think many of often separated from one another because the child," Goldberg said, "the stresses Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. the deaths attributable to cancer and of career and lifestyle demand.I, the and stra in• about being a father of a Two yean ago the IUJ'P!On pneral, the heart di11u.se are actually p1ychological courses offered a N!fresh ing chance to newborn w n or daughter.,. · •uthority on life and death atat.ist.ics, deaths." He explain11, " We know 11tre&11 mingle and converse and to share personal The eleven men in the group, Goldberg rtleued • report st.at.i.q 7 out of 10 people cauAeS cardiovucular diseue and that historie• and problems. The hope wu that and Warshaw sa.id, seized upon the tn lbe United Stai. die prematurely. He (Contmucd on page 10) once these problem• were eh&red. the (C11ntmued on page 11) 2 - THE RHODE ISLAND HERALD, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 Local News I SUPPLV DEP_0T Judaic Scholars Young Families Speak At Brown At Beth-El lnaease A DISCOUNT WAREHOUSE Two experts in Judaism will speak at From pre-school programs to special FOR BRAND NAME COPIER SUPPLIES Brown University Feb. 11 and 19 as part family services and holiday celebrations, of a year-long series of lectures which are Temple Beth-El is responding to the needs free and open to the public. of growing constituency, its numerous Please give a call; I'll be happy to On Feb. I I, Abraham Malherbe of the young family members. Yale University Divinity School, will Last spring, Senior Rabbi Leslie · quote prices over the phone - and discuss "Not in p Corner: An Early Gutterman, contacted Temple member Christian Apologetic Interest." The Roberta Lasser, a working mother of two I know you 'll be happy when you discussion will be held at 4:30 p.m.- in young children, to see if she could organize Room 102 of Wilson Hall on The College a group of young families to begin Jewish hear the savings I have to offer. Green. Malherbe is Buckingham Professor programming for this group. Early this of New Testament Criticism and fall, Associate Rabbi Lawrence Silverman 120MANTONAVEHUE Phone Today For A Price Quote! Interpretation in the Divinity School. met with Rabbi in a small committee to Nathan Glazer of Harvard University's PROVIDENCE, R.I. 02909 Susan Levye; Owner 331-3810 plan some preliminary programs. Department of Education and Sociology The rest is now history. At a Succot Eve will i;peak Feb. 19 on "Sociology of Service, over 125 individuals gathered at American Jews: Issues in the '80s." He will the Temple to decorate the Succah, deliver his address at 7:30 p.m. in Room participate in a special religious service, 166 of Barus & Holley, corner of Hope and and enjoy a pot luck supper together. On Mazel Tov George streets. the first night of Channukah, 180 Glazer is a professor of education and members with their children came to the To The Distinguished Mohel Of Our Communities sociology at Harvard. Two early books in Temple for the traditional outdoor sociology - "The Lonely Crowd" and Menorah lighting followed by supper, RABBI YITZ(:HOK DU_BOVICK "Faces in the Crowd" - which 1 he latkeS, special entertainment for the co-authored in the 1950s, propelled him children by Bill Harley. into the forefront of American sociology. Also during Channukah, two dozen On Your 10th Anniversary In addition to teaching, he has held pre-schoolers enjoyed nearly two hours of editorial positions at Commentary special activities led by Rabbi Silverman As A Mohel. magazine, and Random House book with assistance from Stuart and Lynn publishers, where he was an editorial Aaroflson in what was the first program of May Hashem Grant You Continued Success. advisor. ' • its kind at the Temple. The lectures are co-sponsored by the -And last Shabbat Eve, the Temple • Rabbi H. Fogelman Rabbi N. Weinberg Jewish Federation of Rhode Island and began a series of special family services. Worcester, Ma. Fall River, Ma. the Judaic Studies Program at Brown. For Led by Rabbis Gutterman, Silverman, and more information, call the Judaic Studies Executive Director Rob Goldberg, the Rabbi Y. Lazaros Rabbi C.B. Pearl Program at 863-3900. service began at 6:45 p.m. and was Framingham, Ma. Pawtucket, R.I. highlighted by a special reading and NCCJToHold discussion of Shel Silverstein's "The Rabbi H. Volosow Rabbi Y. Laufer Youth Conference Giving Tree" in honor of Tu-B'Shevat. Providence, R.L Each of the 40 children received their own Brighton, Ma. . challah and were treated to ice cream The 7th Annual Human Relations Rabbi B. Hartman Dr. B. Minaker, M.D. sundaes prepared by members of the Youth Conference for High School Temple Brotherhood. New Bedford, Ma. Attleboro Falls, Ma. Students, sponsored by the National The next young family service will be Conference of Christians and Jews, will be held on Friday evening, February 22, 1985 held Saturday, February 9 from 9:00 a.m. at 6:45 p.m. in the Temple social hall. to 5:00 p.m. at the Faculty Center, of There will also be a special Purim Rhode Island College. The title of the celebration on Wednesday evening, March conference is "Exploring the Value of Our 6, 1985 at which time prizes will be Diversity" and will focus on improving awarded for the best adult and children communication between students while costume and the best homemade demonstrating how they can take an noisemakers. For further information active role in combatting prejudice. The about programs at Temple Beth-El, please ultimate goal of the conference is to contact Executive Director Rob Goldberg broaden the concept of respect for the at 331-6070. iacial, religious and cultural diversity of all students. Men's Club To Meet The main feature of the conference will MADE BY ALCHEM OF TEL-AVIV, ISRAEL be the new NCCJ program for high The Men's Club of Temple Torat schools "The Panel of Young Americans." Yisrael will meet on Tuesday, February 12 Patented in U.S.A. Panelists who have been trained in the at 7:30p.m. Panel of Young Americans program will On Sunday, February 17, a breakfast Distributed by: interact with other students and meeting with Hope Lodge No. 2224 of the SAFEHOME PRODUCTS CORP. demonstrate how effective a role the Panel B'nai B'rith will be held at 9:30 a.m. at the can play. Panel presenters will be selected Temple. Gov. DiPrete will be guest 4 Forest Street, New Canaan, CT 06840 from the following schools which have speaker. 203-966-1544 already conducted training courses: Central High School, Cumberland High Dr. Imber To Speak School, LaSalle Academy, Lincoln School, Handy Sized Moses Brown School, Providence Country Dr. Steve C. Imber, columnist for the Day School, and Toll Gate High School. Rhode Island Herald and creator of " Firejet 500" is The panel presentation will be moderated "Parents Plights & Rights" will speak at by Dory Adams, Head Librarian at Moses St. Dunstan's School in Providence on Life Insurance for Brown School and cOOrdinator of the Tuesday, February 12 at 7:30 p.m. on school's NCCJ "Panel" activities. "How the Home Environment Can Best • home • business offices • cars The conference has been planned by the Support Success at School." Imber, who is following NCCJ Student Committee also a professor of Special Education' at STATE FIRE CODE APPROVED 2832 members: Lisa Krasner and Elizabeth Rhode Island College and a consultant on Smith of Bay View Acdemy; Mark learning and behavioral problems to COMPUTER & EXPENSIVE Robbins of Classical High School; David parents and school personnel. will address Lisbon and Kevin Smith of LaSalle such questions as "Are you ever frustrated = EQUIPMENT PROTECTION Academy; Nadeem Ahmad, Mara La.bell, by your conflicting role as friend, Beth Samdperil and Steven Winoker of counselor, and authority to your child or Distribution: Paramont Sales 728-4400 Moses Brown and Meredith Cohen of adolescent?," "Do you ever question when Morelle Supply 769-6975 Wheeler. College Advisors to the to be supportive and forgiving or when to committee are Ann Marie Mulligan of criticize your child?," and " How can all of Relllllers: Paramount Sales & CCRI and Alfred Belluche of Providence us help our children assume greater Magic Dragon Chimney Sweeps 762-2408 College. responsibility for their actions?" Serving as conference facilitators are There will be a question and answer Mt. Pleasant Hardware 351-7200 NCCJ Executive Director Charlotte I. session at the conclusion of Dr. lmber's Warwick Lumber Co. 737-5657 Penn and Meg Little Warren, Program presentation. The public is invited to OaklaWn Hardware 942-9609 Co-ordinator for the Panel of Young attend the session which will be held in Ame ricans program in Rhode Island. They the library at St. Dunstan's School. T. W. Rounds 831 -7600 will be aseist.ed by Miriam Jefferson. (By S~lal Order - 5 StOfes) Coordinator of Youth Activities at the PHDS Wine Tasting JCC of Rhode Island, and Brown The Management invites industry and manufacturers to inquire for incentives University Student Interns, Ilene Gelch The Parents and Friends Association of and fundraising for organizations. Marketing and retail firms also can Inquire to and James Bernard. the Providence Hebrew Day School is For further information contact hosting a wine taating party on Sunday, Salehome Producll Charlotte Penn at the NCCJ office by February 10 at 7 p.m. at the school's Korn TheH1longuln"li,etetSOO"lsln1speclalll1IC1rf)'contalner Auditorium. An exciting selection of c/o Alvin H. Ecker made by Akl!em lo, 1H lsrNH fo,ces lo, p,otecilon ll'om calling 35 1-5 120. specialty, imported and domestic wines 130 DHterdale Road llameltll'owe,1, Napalm ~ anti-tank expl0$lon l11me. Providence, A.I. 02908 will be featured. including. red, white. sweet, dry and apa.rk.ling 11elections. T HE RHODE ISLAND HERALD, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 198.5 - 3 in small colleges and universities in states •au/ Zim In his talk, Rabbi Bluming will discuss Jewish the entire Jewish community. Last year, and regions in which no centers or pro­ Rabbi Bluming's talk, "You Mean You're grams of Judaic studies are located," responses to international crises, using :oncert At URI examples from both our past history and Still Jewish?; Holding on in the SO's," was Frerichs said. today's headlines. He'll also cover both given before a packed house, and was fol­ Cong. Beth Sholom's policies and religion, and how sometimes lowed by two hours of lively discussion. they're one in the same. And this year's event promises more of the Academy Of -Rabbi ~luming's talk is free and open to same. Jewish Studies Congregation Beth Sholom will begin 0 the second" semester of its Academy of 0 Jewish Studies on Monday, February 25. The courses to be offered include Topics in Genesis II which will cover historical, moral and philosophical problems in the ◊ Book of Genesis and American Jewish • :Coffie.and· History, which will be a survey of the history of the American Jewish community from its beginnings to the present. Both these courses will be taught • by Rabbi Shmuel Singer. In addition a 0 Paul Zim course in Talmud, Tract.ate Hullin will be · , ◊ taught by Rabbi Pe"ltz Gold. 'Be Dazzled T he South County Jewish Music The Academy meets or. Monday nights Jncert Series takes pride in presenting in from 7:00 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. at the • 0 on Thayer Street. ◊ ,ncert Paul Zim on Sunday evening, synagogue at 275 Camp St. The courses • ibruary 10, 1985, at 7:30 p.m. in t he URI are open to the general public. Anyone ne Arts Center Recital Hall in Kingston. interested should contact the synagogue Cards·to delight the heart. Gilts to ◊ Those who have heard Mr. Zim in office any weekday morning between 9:00 • ,ncert agree that he has special music and 12:00. 0 dazzle the senses. tarisma. He does not merely sing his In addition Rabbi Singer teaches a class ,ngs but rather, he lives them. T he New in Talmud every Saturday afternoon ◊ Visit us during our Grand Opening • ork Times said that "Zim is a fine lyric, one•half hour before the Mincha service. nd) sensitive singer." "His consummate T he synagogue bulletin board or calendar Celebration, going on right now. tistry and his beautiful voice reached the • gives the time for each week. This class is And, pick up a yard of Felix the Cat • ◊ • :art," was the comment of the Jerusalem free and open to all. A women's study stickers FREE, with a minimum !JSl. circle on the Torah portion of the week • 0 With many outstanding records to his meets every Tuesday morning at Beth purchase of $ I .50. ◊ edit, his varied and extensive repertoire Sholom at 11:00 a.m. This class is taught eludes the best of Opera, Israeli, by Rabbi Singer and is open to all. • iddish, and Pop American songs. His ◊ • ch tenor voice has captivated audiences Services At ·ound the world. Mr. Zim's latest recording, "Sing It Temple Shalom assidic," is a rare gem in Jewish music. On Friday evening, February 8 at 8 p.m., • Nith Jewish artists bringing out pop Rabbi Marc S. Jagolinzer will conduct a • cords, one copying another, it is Late. Sabbath Eve Worship Service using freshing to find something original from ◊ the prayerbook Likrat Shabbat. In ◊ 1e Jewish music scene ... This recording addition to chanting the liturgy and 1 my opinion, surpasses vocally and leading the congregation in responsive 1usically all of the modern recordings readings, the Rabbi will preach the sermon • iat have come out in the last few years entitled: "May I Have A Word With () AN UNCOMMON CARD & GIFT STORE. 1d, I am sure, will place Paul Zim where You?" The Oneg Shabbat following the 272 Thayer Street O . ~ rightly belongs as a top in Hassidic • ◊ service will be graciously sponsored by Mr. Providence 1usic, as he is in the field of cantorial and Mrs. Charles Beckers in honor of Or. 1usic," said Alex Klein of the Jewish Ralph and Dorothy Mirman's 40th azette. Wedding Anniversary. Mr. Zim recently made his movie debut On Saturday morning, February 9 at 10 i "The Children's War," which was based a.m. a Youth Service will take place in the 11 the book "The Survivor" by Jack Main Sanctuary, fo llowed by a lu ncheon PROFESSIONAL isner. His voice was recently heard at the in the social hall. lartman Theater in Stamford, Conn. in a That same evening, at 8 p.m. in the ew production of ''Cantorial" which was home of Michael and Fran Mendell Rabbi JEWELRY ritten by playwright and novelist Ira Jagolinzer will conduct an adult education ievin. session entitled, "American Judaism, Other praises of Mr. Zim include the Past, Present and Future." APPRAISALS ebruary 1984 issue of Variety Magazine •hich said "the singing by Paul Zim is a Lunch 'N Learning irtuoso treat/' "Feet we re tapping, hands Feb. 14 It makes sense to maintain up-to-date appraisals of your •ere clapping, but it was surely the good jewelry. olished style, charm, and presence of The monthly " Lunch 'n Learning" series aul Zim that made Saturday evening so with Rabbi David Rosen of Tempi~ Torat Just ca ll for an appointment at one of our stores during the ntertaining," said The Rhode Island Yisrael continues on Thursday, Feb. 14. hours shown below, with Mr. William Roach, a member of our ferald. Beginning at noon, the lunch takes place staff. Mr. Roach is a registered jeweler and professional Tickets cost $5 for general admission at the Turks Head Club in Downtown appraiser. He is' at each store each week, on a regular schedule, 11d $2.50 for students, children, and Providence. to serve your. needs. Appraisal fees are based on time required :nior citizens. In addition, series "Lunch 'n Learning" is an opportunity >0nsors for $30 are welcome. Tickets and for business men and women to enjoy lunch to determine value. 1bscriptions may be purchased through with fellow Jews and, at the same time, to 1e mail by cont.acting the South County participate in some lively Jewish study. ewish Music Concert Series at 34 Lower Rabbi Rosen's topic this month: "What APPRAISAL HOURS ollege Rd., , Kinston, R.I. 02881-0818. Do You Do With an Ox That Gores?" 'lease include a self-addressed stamped Passages from Mishnah Baba Kamma and 11velope. Tickets will also be available at Baba Metzia will be studied in an attempt Newport: Monday, 10AM - J PM 1e door. to show how ancient Jewish law can be For directions or more information, applied to many of today's social and legal Midland Mall: Tuesday, s PM - 9 PM lease contact the series at 792-2740 problems. No previous study experience is and Saturday, 10AM - 3 PM uring normal business hours. necessary. "Lunch 'n Learning" is open to the en­ Westminster Mall: Wednesday, Noon - 5 PM tire community, to all who work in or ludaic Studies At Brown near Downtown Providence. Reservations Wayland Square: Thursday, 10 AM - J PM ~illiam Roach, R.J. A Summer Institute in Judaic Studies are urged by calling the Temple Office ,. jl] be held at Brown Univel)lity fo r abo~t (785-1800) or Sheldon Sollosy (331 -4185). 0 faculty members in various fields who re teaching in small colleges and universi­ Rabbi Bluming ies throughout the country. AtChabad Appointments can be arranged by calling 421-8400. You may This is the first such institute at Brown. wish to ask, too, about our special at-home service of video­ 1ccording to religious studies professor During times of international tension, taping your va luable household possessions for insurance one burning question has always been ~mest S. Frerichs, who will oversee the purposes. nstitute. It will be funded by a $128,796 asked throughout our history "ls it good or ~ant from the National Endowment fo r bad for the Jews?" he Humanities (NEH). While the question itself may be half in "We hope to attract some 30 college and jest. the meaning behind it is quite serious. miversity professor11 from the fields of an­ In effect, how should a Jew approach the 1'iiii'• ".. Down\own Sto,e Closed Monday, ·ient history, classical studie11, religious events of the world around him? 1tudie1. and general education," said To address this iaaue, Chabad Lubavitch ~rerichs. who co-directs Brown's Program of SouthEastern New England invited n Judaic Studies. Rabbi Shlomo Bluming to speak Wednes­ The dates of the institute a.re June IO to day, Feb. 20, 8 p.m. at the Chabad House, luly 19, 1985. Each attending profeuor 360 Hope St. in Providence. Rabbi Bluming is a noted speaker and Thurber Ttlden292 Weslminsler M.all, Provide.nee, RJ 02903 ,..ilJ be offered two six-week courses - 'Judaism in Late Antiquity" and "Teach­ educator, and spiritual leader ofCongrega• Westminster Mall • Wayland SqudTe • Midland Mall • Newport ni1 Judaism: Bridges to Related Fields." tion Ahavas Chesed in New London, 421 -8400 861·5315 828-5580 847-4300 The participanl.8' cost will be paid for by Conn. His talk is entitled "Government Ctttified Gemologists, RegbtfffCI Jewelen Membft-, American Gem Society h NEH. " Preference will go to profeQOrl and Religion A Lubavilch Viewpoint.'' In A Senior's View Of Social Security by Simon Pressman status. If it takes that sum to reduce the From The Editor 1 would like to share with you an open deficit, there would be no complaint. But letter I wrote to the President regarding there are other avenues of revenue which by Robert Israel the issue of Social Security. This issue is would not cause as much suffering to the of great· importance to me because I am a Social Security recipients. senior citizen, going on age 72. The withholding of the Cost of Living Dear Mr. President: ,increase means only 31/2% of our Social As a citizen of the older generation, I am Security payments. Actually, to us it writing to you on an issue of concern by amounts to only about one dollar a day. Here We Go Again the many recipients of Social Security in But ·when our apartment lease increases I our country. You yourself are in that 6% every year, there is no equity in the President Reagan's comment, used category and are indeed a good example of transaction. It means a quart of milk less sister's job and my brother-in-law's how people over sixty-five can still be during hJS debates with President Car­ position. All of us worked for several every day, or a container of orange juice ter and Walter Mondale, "Here we go productive and a vital fo rce in our less every day, or the price of a newspaper years in the system and my sister and country's ~elfare. again," cab best be applied to his budget for a half a week, or a gallon of gas less her husband had tenure/ but that There are two items you stressed in your proposals reledsed earlier this week. It didn't help. Swiftly and silently, they every day, or the price of bus fa re to town campaign for re-election. First, you every day. should come as no surprise - any citi­ were unemployed. The next week, the promised never, ever to mess around with zen watching the trends over the past Boston Globe interviewed them, and a We could live with that (and are doing Social Security payments'. to the several years has had to notice the in- ' couple people telephoned them with so ), if only other government expenses recipients. Second, you promised not to would be cut. Like the military budgl•t, for creases demanded by the President and ' job suggestions, out of kindness, but Secretary of Defense Weinberger and raise taxes of our country's citizens. example. We are not opposed to an the suffering had already taken place. Regarding Social Security, let me state others calling for increases to defense Yet the teachers weren't the only adequate defense, but certainly a cut in that I am an expert on the subject, since I military expenses fo r an unending spending at the cost of eliminating pro­ ones to suffer: the schools themselves have been on the receiving ~nd of that proliferation of first strike weapons are grams in education, farming, health and were left somewhat shaken by the cuts. - plan for many years. The plan was devised not acceptable to senior citizens. welfare. So, yes, indeed, here we go And the program I was working for was to provide funds for citizens who worked Finally, many Americans bought your again: another proposal for defense eliminated, meaning whatever progress all their li ves and had little or nothing to promise for no taxes. Yet some of us were build-up, while the other equally im­ I had tried to make with students was fall back on after retirement. You may say willing to accept a graduated t.ax formula portant areas of our country get frozen aborted. that these citizens should have made plans that would have reduced the deficit. Now at current levels - which is to say left We see, on the one hand, promises to to have a nest egg for their old age and not there is a plan to tax Social Security for to flounder and not progress. improve the schools, promises to depend on a government dole. In my own those hearing over $30,000.00 a year. And when questioned about these choose a teacher as the first civilian to case, I was never able to gain equity in a proposals, the President, waxing travel in the space shuttle (another Since when was Social Security a retirement fund since the nature of my hand-out? Most of us looked at Social religious, quotes the Bibi~. Who can preposterous idea), but no concrete work made it necessary to change jobs argue with the Bible, after all? Reagan financial increases to education. None. Securi ty as a form of insurance to which every five or six years to remain we paid into to insure a comfortable way referred a group of business and trade In fact, funding is down $2.3 billion productive in the field of equipment sales of life in our twilight years. Not all of us representatives earlier this week to a dollars. to institutions, hospitals, commercial are just sitting around waiting for the specific chapter Of the New During President Nixon's reign enterprises. Social Security checks to come in. We are Testament, "Luke 14:31,"tobespecific, there was clear-cut evidence against I worked for the U.S. Postal Service for participating in an active, meaningful life his wrong-doing; which is why and told them, in essence, that God is a number of years before serving in the style that utilizes the limited dollars of on his side. So long as we're on the sub­ impeachment hearings were initiated Armed Forces during WWII, but had to investment and Social Security payments ject of using the Bible to support one's preceding his resignation. Unfortu­ drop out of civil service after my military to afford us these pleasures. Mr. President, proposals - a rather inane gesture at nately, there are no clear-cut crimes stint because the wages ai that time were don't deprive us of these small living joys the face of it ....:... why not quote from the that President Reagan has committed, insufficient to sustain me and mv familv. in your attempt to balance the budget. Old Testament: "and thou shall beat unless you consider the one-sided ap­ Atthisstageofourlives,mywifeandlare Other segments of the population can thy swords into plowshares"? If the proach to his vision a crime, which I do. are depending on Social Security plus a sacrifice some dollars without changing President referred to this quote, there It is a crime to deny young people the small investment from the sale of our their life... styles. We sincerely hope you would be no need to increase funding chance to improve themselves because modest home. And this is where our con­ understand your fellow Senior Citizens' for new weapons, because obviously there aren't enough teachers and pro­ cern lies. When Congress decided to delay he'd see we have enough weapons al­ grams for them to study in. It is a crime the Cost of Living increase on Social ready. to eliminated funding to a suffering Security last year, it was a financial shock Simon Pressman. pre.~ident of Seniors Which, ·of course, we do and have for railway service, Amtrak; a crime to cut to our life style. To hold it back once again Helpin~ Others in Wakefield, R.l., lives many years. But that is not what he the farming industry which badly needs will be an added hardship on our financial and write.~ in Narragan.~f'tt. would have you believe. a boost, and a crime to freeze current Let me describe for you a scene, levels of funding to health and welfare. several years ago, when the first rounds In lieu of the fact that the Senate and of budget cuts rolled through the public Congress will not agree with what I con­ Tel Aviv In New England school system I was working for in sider a serious violation of the needs of by M.J. Rosenberg America. It extends to feelings about the Boston, Mass. · all Americans as a crime, the next best In late December, 1 attended a wedding State of Israel. Fifteen teachers, including myself, thing is to encourage them that these in Massachusetts which might have taken The Jews I saw in Worcester, and in got a notice one bright and sunny proposals, with of without Reagan's in­ place in Israel. From the marriage other places throughout the country, morning telling us that the program vocation of the Bible, are not accept­ ceremony right down to the last hora, the refuse to view Israel as a source of anxiety. we'd been working for - a literacy able. entire event was suffused with Jewish Certainly, they are concerned when things program aimed at reaching school I envision a country where a cacoph­ tradition, culture, and love for Israel. are not going well in the Jewish state. drop-outs - had been eliminated ony of voices rises up and demands The music, which helps establish the They grieve when tragedy strikes there. under Reagan's budget cuts to equality in all ph8.f¥!8 of government, so atmosphere at any event, was Israeli..J'he But their day-to-day response to Israel is educatio~. In the City of Boston, there that one day we indeed become a nation lead singer spoke English in a heavy to derive joy from its existence. They would be more cuts, eliminating my of and by th~ people for the people. Hebrew accent. He exhorted the crowd to appreciate its people, its• culture, its sing along in Yiddish (which few could do) langµage , its music. They enjoy visiting and in Hebrew (which, it seemed, Israel and make it to Jerusalem whenever To the Editor: choice of restaurants and to his judgment everyone could do). Every 20 minutes or they can. Many of them consider aliya, an Your edition of January 31, 1985 con­ concerning the newsworthiness of those so, the musicians would strike up another option they do not regard as far-fetched. tained an article on the Park Avenue Deli choices. But it is neither a service to the hora and chains of dancers would fill the But they are no less American for all this. which went to considerable lengths to im­ Jewish community nor an example of care­ floor. At several points, the bride and They are merely capable of being at home ply that that establishment is in some ful journalistic standards to present as groom were hoisted aloft in their chairs and being devoted to two cultures, two sense a kosher restauraiit. There are a kosher a restaurant which is neither under and their relatives and friends danced nations. number of businesses in Rhode Island, and rabbinical supervision, nor, to our knowl­ aroUlld them. I cannot help but contrast these feelings some in greater Cranston, which go to sub­ edge, inakes any claim to be. These friends - in their twenties and with the attitudes of those whose sole stantial expense and trouble to insure Hana and Yitzhak Berman educated at the University of approach to Israel and to Judaism is to proper standards of kashruth by submit• Pennsylvania, the University of Michigan, anguish over them. For these people,-Israel ting to the supervision of the Vaad Ha­ the University of Chicago, Harvard, and is always at the brink of destruction, the Kashruth of Rhode Island and other law and graduate schools everywhere - Jews always being victimized. I heard of Kashruth supervisory bodies. Unfortu• seemed totally at home in the atmosphere. one woman who is consumed by her love for Israel but has never visited there. Her nately, the Park Avenue Deli is not among Sure they could (and did) dance up a children want her to go - they have - them. rock-and-roll storm, but they could also do Your editor, of course, is entitled to his it "Jewishly." The bride and groom's but she refuses because she "knows" that respect for tradition, love for their seeing Israel would just make her too sad. families, and sheer joy in being Jewish - She is convinced that Israel - a country Editor ANociate Editor and in loving Israel - filled the she loves - is essentially a tragic place. Robert brael Suaan Blr(Pu synagogue. That is an extreme case but, to a lesser Advertlaing Director Account Executive The style of that wedding in Worcester extent, this attitude is all too common. Kathi Wnek Katherine Burke is one that is becoming increasingly The sad thing is when these people, who prevalent among American Jews today, treat Israel and J udaism as sourees of grief young and old. More and more Jews are and anxiety, wonder why their children "'-lli"9A._,,: Ba•~-•.II.I.02MO r.....,._, 1-a1112,.(l200 determined not to permit Judaism to have so little interest in them? Why do PLANT: .....lclW•r.oflW-•L , PewL, ll.1, 02M1 become a burden. a mere set of their children avoid JeWish things? Why Ol"FICE: 112T•-A.... , f.-PN,-.,RJ. D2114 responsibilities and wo rries. For them, it do they travel to Greece or Spain rather is joy and it fills their lives. than to Israel? =~~=e~f=~R.1R=~~I~~ At our table, one young mother was The answer is simple. For their talking about how she handled Christmas children, Israel end Yiddishkeil are ':J~;..tr;:,=-'Jl.~s~~o:i::; with her small children. She said that anything but fun . They reject the joyless =annum-.~8""',,-~-~,! 11on rtQW11.Tl>l'H&rtlcl ■ H-••ubserlp, t>on11,e--11-loedtotl-.0Dfllraryir,Wf~ Christmas "doesn't trouble me at all. Our Judaism of their parents as they reject most dismal things. They think that the Tl,. t11r11d """""' no tina"""I rHPOf>tibilily to, tyPO- kids are so steeped in their own religion ~-:::'~i~ed,:~1~~-r.:,.~ and their own Jewish culture that they can Jews are still ·•wailing'· at the ··Wailing Candlelightlng :-.=C:.=t',.,!~.=,t' tne fflfn...,.m ..--di•le!y simply enjoy Christmas as our neighbon' Wall ."' holiday. Ifs a beautiful holiday. Why The Jews I saw in Worcester know February 8, 1985 IJntollctled m1""'"''""' Un.-ited m•""9Qflp!• ,,...... should we be defensive about it, especially better. That Jewish wedding 6,000 miles when we have our own traditions that a.re from Israel was colored a beautiful

4:52 p.m. edllOf rec,tlMffl Ille --ol lM -•• nol lM -•• just u beautiful." Mediterranean blue. Or perhaps it wu =·=~==e~..,,,,.,.,_oncluOltnelen.rWPoland. There is some the difficulties he would face. Said the replaced by Christianity. subject of conversion activity. Pope John desire within him for historic status Cardinal: "I do not rightly see how we can It was not reasonable for Christianity to Paul II, in the course of a visit to within the Church. Recognizing the State take the initiative in this. So long as the see itself within the circle of the Jewish Germany, made the first unequivocal and restructuring the Catholic Jews deny . the divinity of Christ, we covenant. It originated within the Jewish Papal statement - albeit only with relationship with Judaism could be a certainly cannot side with them ... How people and, at its heart, it was a passing reference - that the Jewish landmark decision. then, short of abandoning our own highest commentary and elaboration on the covenant remains valid. Recently, the In 1896, after the Zionist Congress, principles, can we agree to their regaining Jewish vision of humanity's way to final Church•again has spoken of dialogue with Herzl noted in his diaries, "At. Basel, I possession of the Holy Land?" redemption. But the conclusion that the Jews, with the Jews being given a founded the Jewish State. If I said this out Herzl's response was: "We are asking Juda::sm had been superseded gave a fatal - unique and special status which implies loud today, I would be greeted by universal only for the profane earth; the Holy Places iwist to the future relationships of both their validity and their ongoing laughter. In five years perhaps; and are to be extraterritorialized." Del Val's Judaism and Christianity. By Christian existence. The big remaining question is: certainly in fifty years, everyone will answer was closer to the Jewish logic, Jews should have all followed the can the Church take the next logical step, perceive it." It actually took only fifty-one · conception than Herzl's: "Ah, but it is new religion and given up the old. Jewish break with the supercessionist tradition, yean; from that date for the Jewish State virtually impossible to think of them as set persistence became a contradiction of and officially recognize the St.ate of Israel? ,·.to.be crea\ed. Is~it too much to ask that apart, one from the other, in such terms." Christian claims, a body blow to Christian Recently, the leadership of the Dutch eighty years after Herzl's meeting with the Out of a sense of the dignity of the Jews, faith. From there it was a slippery slope Jewish community went through a fierce Pope that the Catholic church break out of whose representative he felt he was, Herzl down to the policies of denial, conversion, struggle over the question of meeting with the vicious cycle of resistance to Zionism did not kiss the Pope's hand when the persecution, and even murder of Jews to the Pope during his forthcoming visit to ,, and, clutch,@g at the mira1W c.'iif Jewish audience began. Later, he wrote in his remove this obstacle to the triumph of Holland. They finally.voted to meet with invalidity and the future di;,appearance diary: " I believe that this spoiled my truth. him on the condition that he recognize the and/or conversion of the Jewish people? chances with him, for everyone who visits As Professor Yosef Yerushalmi has State of Israel. John Paul II is thus given Nothing could do more to free the Church him kneels and at least kisses his hand." pointed out, the more humane tradition of another opportunity to overcome 1900 from an ihcubus of hatred and turn its Sure enough, Pius answered in stern, the medieval Church insisted on keeping years of hatred and of. putti11g down .the people and its thinking toward a truly categorical manner: "We are unable to the Jews alive - but in 8. state of exile - Jewish people. pluralist gospel of love. favor this movement. We cannot prevent to serve as witness to the world' of the The possibility of change has to be seen the Jews from going to Jerusalem - we penalty for not accepting Jesus. The could never sanction it. The ground of wandering Jew, the permanent exile and Jerusalem, if it were not always sacred, has indeed degradation, was a necessary proof been sanctified by the life of Jesus Christ. of the Jewish recalcitrance and disfavor As the head of the Church, I cannot with God until the end of days, when the ~tP~ wui~c/4~ answer you otherwise. The Jews have not Jews would convert. That attitude led not of recognized our Lord, therefore we cannot only to resistance to Zionism, but a recognize the Jewish people." particularly galling feeling for th,.e Church Herzl argued that surely the Church _ when Jews controlled the Holy Places. By THE PROVIDENCE HEBREW cannot be happy to have the Holy Land its very existence, the State of Israel controlled by the Turks. To this, the Holy makes hope of conversion and DAY SCHOOL Father answered, " I know it is disapperance of the Jews a remote ·cordially invites you to a disagreeable to see the Turks in possession possibility and undercuts the Church's of our Holy Places. We simply have to put claims that the Biblical promises have up with it. But to sanction the Jewish been transferred tc Christianity. To live at Kosher Wine Tasting Party wish to occupy these.sites, that we cannot • ease with the State of Israel, the Church do." woula have to' give-up its supercessionist The key reason for the Church's theology. It was no wonder that the ~wit 9'.Vl/1£! g'O'v ER_ewu[ negative response to Zionism had little to successors to Pius X could not bring tPOMOOflv & qjWAJ do with Herzl's not kissing the Pope's themselves to recognize the State of Israel. hand. It had a lot to do with the Church's In the past two decades, however - ever WHEN: Feb. 10, 1985 attitude toward Judaism. In the words of since Vatican II - the Catholic church TIME: 7 p.m. the Pope: "The Jewish faith was the has been trying to undo this teaching of foundation of our own, but it has been contempt. A new tolerance engendered by PLACE: Providence Hebrew Day School superseded by the teachings of Christ, and liberalism, shame, and shock at the ·Kom Auditoriµm we cannot admit that it still enjoys any Church's failures during the Holocaust, 45_0 ,Eimgrove Ave., Providence validity. The Jews, who should have been Jewish ;'itality, and decades of active the first to acknowledge Jesus Christ, have dialogue have led to a struggle to overcome FREE ADMISSION not done so to this day." the supercessionist tradition. Vatican Jl's Pope Pius X spoke out of an eighteen own schema on the Jews was ambivalent. SUMMIT HOME CARE, LTD. "The Finest Available in Home Care"

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942.•5'990 Ltd. 114511ESERVOIR AVENUE ~!'!.~are SUITE 22.5 • CRAN5TON,R.I. :.OvlDENCE, AHODE ISLAND 02N1 n (401) 273--1140 6 - THE RHODE ISLAND HERALD, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 Com mittee on Scouting. Feminist Guest Speaker will be Chaplain Louis Evangelisto, U.S. Army, Ft. Devens, Theologian Mass. $oclal Events To Speak At Brown Services will be conducted by Rabbi I Joel Chernikoff and Cantor Philip Feminist theologian Judith Plaskow Macktaz. will deliver a lecture entitled "Toward a An Oneg Shabbat, sponsored by Mr. I Jewish Feminist Spirituality" at 4 p.m. and Mrs. Brenner, will follow. Peppers Celebrate 75 Years Of Marriage Feb. 13 in the Crystal Room in Alumnae Hall at Brown University. SAJCC Offers by Judy Liberi Pepper is former area chairman of the Plaskow, associate professor of religious News-Journal Staff Writer United Jewish Appeal and has been studies at Manhattan College in New Workshops On A golden annivet'sary may not be rare honored by the Israel Bond Committee York, co-edited the book Womanspirit with Florida's concentration of retirees, and B'nai B'rith fo r civic and community Rising: A Feminist Reader in Religion Relationships but 75 years of married life? That was an service. with Carol Christ. Plaskow is also the occasion worth celebrating this month by Mts. Pepper was president of Temple author of Sex, Sin and Grace: Women's Shalom Singles (age$ 35-55) of the Bella and Harry Pepper, longtime Israel Sisterhood for 10 years and active Experience and the Theologies of South Area Jewish Community Center is Ormond Beach residents. in B'nai B'rith Women and Hadassah. Reinhold Neibuhr and Paul Tillich and is sponsoring a three-part workshop with The couple were married January 13, She helped establish the local Jewish a founder and co-editor of the Journal of psychotherapist Ellen Frishman, 1910, but because of Mrs. Pepper's poor Welfare Board during World War II an0 Feminist Studies in Religion. " Relationships, Intimacy & Sexuality" on health, there was a small dinner (or family was active in the resettlement of Her talk is the first in a lecture series at Wednesday evenings February 27, March only earlier last week to mark the European refugees here. Brown called "Women of Faith and 6, and March 20 from 6:00 to 7:30 p.m. In anniversary. On hand to celebrate were On the business scene, Pepper's Wisdom," which will bring two other a comfortable, small-group setting learn the Peppers' children, Milton of Ormond ventures were varied - from · a shop women scholars to Brown this spring: to evaluate present relationships and Beach; Leonard of Tallahassee; Mrs. behind his home dealing in automobile *Katie Cannon will discuss "The develop techniques to strengthen and Mervin Katz, Ormond Beach; and Mrs. parts and metals, to the hotel and Emergence of a Black Feminist Religious enhance interpersonal skills. Murry Schott of Bethesda, Md., and restaurant supply business, hardware, Consciousness. 1619-1984" March 20 at 8 This series, held at the Center, is Daytona Beach Shores. The Peppers also furniture, real estate and land p.m. Cannon is assistant professor of limited to fifteen participants. You must have 19 grandchildren and 30 development. He has been active in civic Christian Ethics at Episcopal Divinity pre-register no later than Wednesday, great-grandchildren. affairs and played a prominent role in the School in Cambridge, Mass. February 20. The fee is $20 for members, Pepper, 97, was born in Austria and chamber of commerce. *Elisabeth Schussler Fiorenza will talk $26 for non-members. Refreshments will came to the United States at age 6 with Back in the '20s, the Peppers built the about .. Quilting Women's Early Christian be served. Checks should be made payable his sister. lie grew up in Providence, R.I., city's first public swimming pool, Pepp's History" April 15 at 8 p.m. Schussler to SAJCC, and mailed directly to the where he became fascinated with the Pool, on the oceanfront near the Main Fiorenza is Talbot Professor of New Center, 1044 Central Street, Stoughton, century's newest invention - the Street pier, across from two hotels the Testament at Episcopal Divinity School. MA 02072. automobile - and becatne one of the first family also owned and operated. . The series is sponsored by the Brown Shalom Singles is a vital and growing U.S. licensed commercial drivers. He also At 97, Pepper still goes to 'his office University Chaplains, Sarah Doyle organization, offering a variety of social met the former Bella Berman; and they several days a week and has served as a Women's Center, The Third World and educational events. A $10 annual were married in Providence in 1910. consultant on various enterprises Center, the Catholic Chaplains, Hillel membership entitles you to receive our The Peppers moved here to Florida in undertaken by his two sons in developing Foundation and ihe Dean of the College. monthly newsletter and reduced rates at 1912 with their young family and shopping centers across the state, All are free and open to the publ ic. A all Shalom Singles activities. For established the oldest permanent Jewish including Bellair Plaza, Granada and reception will fo llow each lecture. membership information, call Liz at the residence in Daytona Beach. The earliest South Daytona centers locally. Center, 821-0030 or 341-2016. Jewish services here were in the Pepl)er He worked closely with the late Mary Todd Brenner home and when the community's first McLeod Bethune, founder of Stress Management synagogue, Temple Israel, was Bethune-Cookman College, in furthering To Receive established, he was elected its first the growth of the school. An avid sports Offered At RIJCC permanent president, a post he held for enthusiast, Pepper has a~nded nearly all Nev Tamid Award A two-hour evening workshop on nearly 20 years. The sanctuary of the World Series baseball games, and was one First Class Scout Todd Brenner of "Stress Management" will be held at the current temple on South Peninsula Drive time boxing commissioner for Volusia JCC on Tuesday, February 12, 7:30-9:30 was named in honor of the Peppers. County. Troop 1101, Woonsocket and son of Mr. and Mrs. Gerald Brenner of Woonsocket, p.m. The workshop will help participants Also a founder of Federated Jewish Asked to sum up his long married life, will receive the Ner Tamid religious award identify sources of stress in their lives and Charities and Mt. Sinai Cemetery Pepper called it "a wonderful 75 years for Jewish Boy Scouts at "A Scout Is learn ways to begin reducing stress. Association, of which be is still president, with a wonderful wife." Reverent" Sabbath Services on Fri., Instructor Bob Cohen, M.S.W., Ph.D., is February 8, at 8:00 p.m. at Congregation an assistant professor of social work at B'nai B'rith Women B'nai Israel, 224 Prospect St., Rhode Island College who has taught SAJCC Plans Woonsocket. stress management workshops both in and Organize Valentine out of state. Fee is $5 for JCC members, Sunday Brunch Presenting the award will be Stanley Turco, a member of the executive board of $7.50 for non-members. For information Dance Shalom Singles (ages 35-55) of tht the Narragansett Council and a member and registration, call Ann Miller, J CC The B'nai B'rith Women of Rhode South Area Jewish Community Center, is of the Narragansett Council Jewish Adult Services Coordinator, at 861-8800. Island will be holding a Sweetheart sponsoring "Brunch Plus" on Sunday, Dinner Dance, Saturday, February 16 at February IO, from 10:30 a.m. to I p.m. at the Venus DeMilo, Swansea, Mass. the Center, 1044 Central St., Stoughton. Reservations for this special Valentine Following a delicious brunch will be a Dance will be accepted until February 5. Financial Analyst Rudy Rudner off the For more information ring Roberta at Ryan Financial Group in Boston. Find out CAMPJORi 944-8519 or Peggy at 723-1739. about great investments for 1985. ------... SVMMERFVN THE Lox LADY Friendsbl/JS • . Tennis. HUdng is back delivering again • Swl,,.,,,lng • Dranu, • Wl,lsp,rrlng al nlgbl e Fl.eld trips e Ball gaa,n the fanciest Alaskan Smoked Salmon Bridgton, Maire NOVA LOX JEWISH WARMTH 3 lb. tray 1 lb. tray 11b. container , Camp Kingswood Strlclly toslwr ,waJs • Friday nlgbt Extra Fancy Best Quality Chips on 100 acres bordering Woods Pond sen•lces • Jewub dancing $7.50 lb. Minimum 3 Minimum 6 lbs. Resident Camp for Boys and Girls • HelJrn,, songs• AJ~b Jdentily $8.00 lb. $4,00 lb. 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THE RHODE ISLAND HERALD, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 - 7 A Typical Day At Temple Sinai Nursery School

"For the Birds" (1 tor) Lawrence Lai, Mathew Dorchuck.

"Stringing Along Together" (I to r) Stacey Lehrer, Jessica Miller, Mitchel Goldman.

" The Jungle Gym Parade" (I tor) K~ra Ve88ella, Da~id Leveille. "Shaping Up" Michelle Levitt.

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Around Town New Year Of Trees by Dorothea Snyder

"The Tu B'Shvat seder we're having fruits and nuts are eaten, and psalms and today is a culminating experience to the songs are sung. The date was chosen children's exciting studies and projects because it marks the beginning of a new these past six weeks," says Delly Mosen, growth cycle of blossoming and fruit principal of Temple Beth Am-Beth David bearing for the trees in Israel." Religious School in Warwick. "I think Last Sunday Temple Beth Am-Beth assemblies are fun if they work well David conducted a Tu B'Shvat seder. within the curriculum, but that's not the "Originally believed to be compiled by end all. 17th century kabbalist Nathan of Gaza," "The holiday has been part of our Delly Musen relates, "the service was curriculum with the little ones making modeled after the Passover seder which paper trees and planting narcissus bulbs included the drinking of four cups of wine which have fully bloomed. We've empha­ and the eating of 15 different fruits. sized. Israel and important customs. In "Since there is no formal Hagaddah for Israel the " New YearofTrees"hascometo a Tu B'Shvat seder, it's more or less symbolize the transformation from barren improvised as to what you want to feature. desert to fertile fields and forests. "We have faatured our kids wh0 are the "Celebrated on the fifteenth of the writers. Their wonderful work was Hebrew month of Shvat, it is a joyous correlated by the editor, Cantor Steven holiday. Trees are donated to Israel, fresh Dress."

YOU CAN PLANT A TREE A land was neglected and rebuilt anew, Trees had to be planted where forests once grew. The land was made healthful and rid of disease By the draining of swampland and the planting of trees. On Tu B'Shevat Jewish people plant trees, It's a mitzvah worth doing, the Temple agrees. You too can plant trees with your nickels and dimes, To celebrate birthdays and other good times. 0,AI(, Deann Forman reads a portion of Somewhere in Israel there can be a tree, the Tu B'Shvat Hagaddah describing That is named for you or named for me. the custom of planting a tree at a (Composed by 10- and 11-year-old students of Gimme! Group, child's birth. With her lll Delly Temple Beth Am-Beth David Religious School Musen, principal of Temple Beth Am•Beth David Religious School.

A well deserved Curtain call after the Enrichment Club's presentation of Holding seeds they have planted, watering cans and shovels, children from the "Roni and the Carob Tree" adapted from a Talmudic story by direclor Mona Eunice Zeidman Pre-School Department prepare to sing a medley of original Scheraga. From left are Lornil Sher, Stacie Pearl, Seth Mendelson, Mark songs and poems. From left are teachers Paula Abedon and Dr. Joy Pitterman; Leibowitz, Steven Blank, Deann Forman. teacher aides Jenny Alper and Sharon Silverman. Kneeling is teacher, Mrs. Claire Goodman. (Photos by Dorothea Snyder)

Wailinc lo hit &he fint note, Bel cl- cltildna aiac "K..dc Holllim Huhotlim"("Hen Come PWten" ). In back row from left are ,leremy Smith, MariJyn Smith, wh.o chain the acbool committee, paNN frulta and nub lo Joehua Sklarott, Ilene Nutinaky, Jed Sal.i:llbtu'y. N--.y 8ellerap aad Daaiel TrllCeY Tebrow, Lori Vlnaooo, Shayna Pl.mley, Mare Sholea, all from left lo Silverm._. •I.and by Caal.or Steven On,aa at the ke:,boud.. Delly M~ ltolda the ri1ht. mike. THE RHODE ISLAND HERALD, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 - 9 Eisendrath Fellows at the Religious The guide has been distributed to the Action Center of Reform Judaism in UAHC's member synagogues. Individuals Washington, D.C. The booklet was and organizations may purchase copies at Devar Torah published by the Commission on Social $1 each, including postage and handling, I Action and the Department of through the Religious Action Center, 2027 Interreligious Affairs of the Union of Massachusetts Avenue NW, Washington, American Hebrew Congregations. DC20036. by Rabbi George J. Astrachan Clemenceau, if the world would have Summer Study In Israel · The Torah portion for this Shabbat 9bserved the Ten Points of Moses there (Vitro) contains what most theologians would be no need for my Fourteen Points." O; the heels of its most successtw is planned as a total experience; ideas and and Biblical scholars believe to be one of The story, as far as I know, is midrashic, summer program in Israel, the B'nai B'rith field trips are introduced in sequence and the more significant events, not only in but the message seems more than clear. Hillel Foundation is offering another set meetings and experiences are planned in Jewish history, but world history as well Thirty-tw_o _hundred years have passed of seminars this year, Rabbi Chaim context and cover all dimensions of the - the giving of the Ten Commandments since. as tradition states, our ancestors Casper, University of Rhode Island Hillel theme. And second, the seminars are on Mount Sinai. stood at Mt. Sinai and accepted the Director, announced this week. confluent, integrating lectures with The impact of the Decalogue upon blueprint for mankind's survival. And Co-sponsored by the United Jewish personal experiences." civilization has been tremendous, and though over a hundred generations have Appeal and developed with the support of Thus, he went on, "one not only learns regardless of religious affiliation or heard these words since, our world seems several Israeli organizations, the 198.5 about the subject intellectually, but he political commitment, people throughout no better off today than at any previous program consists of a dozen three- to visits a site, meets the people and interacts the world have recognized the Ten time. Our survival as human beings seems seven-week seminars. with those who represent the topic.,. Commandments as the foundation of still to be the subject of idealists and Rabbi Casper said that the programs are Rabbi Casper emphasized that civilized life. dreamers. The end of wars, poverty, and open to both undergraduate and graduate substantial scbolanhip aide is available. There's a wonderful story that's ,told injustice, seems still to be remote. students in good standing and between the For applications or additional about the Versailles Peace Conference We live in a generation that is · ages of 18 and 25. information, contact Rabbi Casper at URI which took place at the end of World War demanding of relevancy. "Teach us about Rabbi Casper noted many alumni have I. President Wilson, idealist and dreamer today!" - "We're not interested in what contributed their thinking in the planning that he was, proposed his famous Fourteen happened over 3000 years ago!" of the 1985 program. "We know that · Points which according to his thinking The Ten Commandments Are relevant! students desire a memorable experience in would end wars, invest diplomacy with They Are today! They're anything but Israel and if comments by previous =·~ - standards of morality, and remove outmoded. - Though some are negative participants are any indication, then we hostility from the international scene. His in language, they're all positive in are certain that they get it," said Rabbi contemporaries, Lloyd George of England, meaning. Casper. He stated that the program is Clemenceau of France, and Orlando of We must go back to the timeless truths unique in two ways: "First, e8ch seminar Italy, listened patiently and curiously to of life and living if we are to survive as a the American President. Then people; indeed, if humanity itself is to Clemenceau, the "Tiger of Paris," rose and survive, We must return again and again remarked, "Mr. Wilson, aren't you more to that scene at Sinai, for herein, I believe, strict than Moses who proposed Ten is the hope of mankind. Passover Points only, and you propose Fourteen?" Rabbi Astrachan is spiritual leader of To which Mr. Wilson replied, "My dear Temple Sinai in Cranston. UAHC Alerts Parents To Dangers at the Concord . Of Equal Access In Schools Fn Apnl 5-Sor.April 13 The obsel"vOnce of rrodi· Oursranding leaders A guide alerting parents and community covered by the law may not be old enough from Gc,,ernmenr, Press. leaders to the dangers posed by the 1984 or mature enough to resist the peer non. rhe magnificence of Equal Access Act to Jewish children in pressure t!i,at will inevitably surround such rhe Sedorim. rhe beoury the Am and lirerorure secondary schools was published this week meetings, and adds: of rhe Services. rhe br1l­ Grear filmsMJsic doyond by the Union of American Hebrew " It is precisely the most aggressive l1once of rhe Holiday nighr weekdays. Special Congregations. missionary and cult groups that are most program for rors. ~ The act, which became law in August, likely to encourage the children of their Pr(~~~';'~';2~on ancfreens. permits extracurricular activities - followers to 'voluntary initiate' such Malamood, assisred by l'oobis Cohen and including religious and political meetings clubs." rhe Concord 45-\0ice 5ym­ Noz.ur ~ consronr - to be held on public school property The guide urges each synagogue to set pr,onic Chorale. direaed Koshrurh supervision and before and after class hours. Cult and up a committee to monitor religious t,y Nicthevv Lazor and Oierory L°"" ot>ser.,once missionary groups, the Ku Klux Klan, activities in its community's secondary Don Vogel. ro public schools and to form coalitions with neo•Nazi and other extremist or " hate" offic_io.reorrhe organizations could thus meet in the other local organizations concetned about Services and CONCORD schools, the booklet explains. the act. Also, school officials should be Although these meetings must be encouraged to develop special training Sedan~• initiated and led by students, outsiders are programs for administrators and teachers RESOIU HOTI.L/4\ permitted to participate on an "irregular" who supervise such clubs. : KiameshalakeNY12751 ~ basis as long as ·they do not "control" the If problems arise, involved parents are meetings, according to the UAHC guide. told to inform the school board and its Enforcement of this provision is left to the administrators. If the matter is not individual school. attended to, parents are advised to contact : lWX 510-240-8336~==. Te&ex 323637·. the state superintendent of schools. The Schools choosing not to abide by the • East~=~==See Your Travel Agent terms of the Equal Access Act must guide also points out that any individual Our Reservation Phones Are 7 Da a Week. prohibit all extracurricular activities, the who believes his or his children's rights are guide points out. violated can bring a lawsuit against the The 1984 law, whose passage was school. strongly opposed by major Jewish The UAHC publication is titled "Equal organizations, offers a "unique" Access" and subtitled "Protecting Our opportunity for missionary and cult Children: a Guide for Parents and groups to spread their teachings, the guide Synagogues." It was prepared by Julie says. It points out that the children Vanek and Daniel Swartz. They are

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(continued from page I) Jsrae/ Report (conhn~d/,om,,..,I) Li psitt they themselves are not sure what policies of Ethiopian Jews. One thing they have causes cardiovascular accidents. It is clear ~;=:1isa:~~m:.imself, dramatically should be pursued now that the initial learned is that it is normal for the Jews that smoking causes cancer of the lung. In goals - teaching the Ethiopian Jews how from Ethiopia to be quite superstitious; both cases behavior is responsible and (in Bruno Bettleheim studied prisoners in to use electricity and gas as well as how to _ only when their superstitions cause not most cases) under the control of the concentration camps and found when a flush a toilet and fill out an application only anxiety, but also prompt them to person. person gave up and believed he was going form - have been achieved. · stop eating, is their behavior, by Perhaps some of the most startling to die, he ceased to' have what is referred For example, present plans call for Ethiopian standards, regarded as information has come from Lipsitt's long to as the appropriate self protective turning the Kiryat Shmoneh Absorption abnormal. term study of 28 years following newborns mechanisms and in effect increased the Center into a regular housing estate and Whatever criteria are used to define through adolescence and young likelihood of dying. He no longer engaged having the Ethiopian Jews remain there. abnormality, when it becomes acute lOCal adulthood. He feels a whole array of the environment in such a, way as to But this is opposed by some of the people ' experts have only one way to dealing with events occurring in adolescence can be protect himself from the threats around working with them and by most of the it, namely sending the person affected to a traced back to birth and subsequent him. However when a person believed he Ethiopians themselves because, they mental hospital. Unfortunately, however, developmental problems. Many factors in could survive, he was much more likely to warn, it would create a permanent "black it is far from clear whether the Western people's lives, attributable to mental or take steps to protect himself and did in ghetto." They believe it would be better to methods of treatment used in such psychological conditions, can accumulate fact live longer. split the group and send a few families to hospitals can possibly promote the and eventually conspire to cause a This 'will to live' has been noted in live in each Kiryat Shmoneh recovery of Ethiopian Jews, the products developmental disaster in a person. others such as Barney Clarke and William neighborhood. • of a yery different culture. Lipsitt approaches bis subject with Schroeder, two recent heart transplant Even more serious are problems that Overall, Amit is amazed by the equal amounts of zeal and sensitivity patients. Lipsitt notes discussion is still arise from the fact that insufficient resiliency of the Ethiopian Jews, both when he introduces his findings on the continuing about whether Clarke's cause attention is being paid to the cultural and psychological and physiological. Despite subject of SIDS, Sudden Infant Death of -death was a result of his depression religious heritage of the Ethiopian Jews. the fact that they have moved from the Syndrome. Each year 10,000 babies die in more than actual physiological factors. They were deeply insulted when the Stone Age to the 20th century overnight, the United States alone. Statistically, 2-3 Psychologists who recognized the rabbinical authorities, who doubted the most manage to find their feet here. babies out of 1,000 will succumb to this importance of these factors are Working authenticity of their Jewishness, forced In Kiryat Shmoneh, following ten mysterious disorder. Aft.er long years of with Schroeder to maintain his will to them, at first, to undergo a symbolic months of Hebrew studies and vocational investigation and recording information live. circumcision; this w8.s done even though training, 90% of the able-bodied men on thousands of children, Dr. Lipsitt feels Solid data in the literature also they had already been circumcized in obtained employment in textile factories, the data is solid enough to say confirms positive post-natal conditions of Ethiopia and suffered many generations packing plants or construction psychological factors appear to be rearing and homelife are exceedingly of persecution in order to remain Jewish. companies. Now, in a radical departure responsible. It appears there are no important in aiding recovery from the Now all that is required of incoming from traditional mores, the younger appreciable physiological deficits. assaults of peri-natal complications. Ethiopian Jews is a visit to the Mikvah, Ethiopian women are also being trained Newborns come into the world, Lipsitt feels confident that recent data which they consider no less insulting. for jobs outside the home. It only remains dependent on the behavior of others for shows post•natal factors can compensate Despite the existence in Israel of to be seen whether their husbands will their survival. If mother doesn't respond, · . for many deficits during the pre-natal Ethiopian rabbis, religious ceremonies in actually allow them to go to work. contingent to the babies needs, he or she period. Many intervention programs are · Kiryat Shmoneh are being conducted by The Ethiopian children have adjusted may go into a condition of risk. The baby being initiated based on this data. local rabbis in a manner that the most quickly and successfully of all. may develop a condition of learned As an example of a good psychologically Ethiopians find foreign. When the town The educational achievements of the helplessness. The baby may feel that intact person who influenced his had its first Ethiopian wedding, for boys and girls from Ethiopia are whatever he or she does, doesn't make a environment in spite of serious odds, instance, there was nothing distinctively particularly impressive considering that difference so they stop doing anything Lipsitt likes to talk about Sir Alexander Ethiopian about it. The rabbi was only four of the Ethiopian adults in (also known as failure to thrive). Without Fleming, the doctor who compounded Moroccan, the clothing worn by the young Kiryat Shmoneh knew how to re'ad and command over conditions in life, penicillin. Although scorned by his couple was European and the food was write in any language when they arrived depression may set in. Babies seem to colleagues, considered a recluse and a bit Middle Eastern. in the town. ' have the same symptoms of depression as of a crazy person, he worked in his Dr. Ofra Greenberg, a Kiryat Shmoneh Indeed, when the annals of Israeli adults do. Lipsitt thinks there is every laboratory relentlessly. He believed in his anthropologist who has taken a great , immigration are finally written, the reason to believe this is a true mission. His self confidence helped him interest in the Ethiopians, cites many Ethiopians may prove as successful as the environmentally induced psychological overcome difficult odds until his efforts instances where secular officials, albeit Yemenites, another group which - depression. If so, he suggests it is not were rewarded by the discovery of well-meaning, have also shown scant though coming from a primitive difficult to suspect babies can die of penicillin and he was able to make a understanding of group mores. For background - ultimately made enormous psychological deaths. significant contribution to society. example, all the adults in the community, contributions to Israeli society. Lipsitt is also quick to point out there is Ashley Montague, an anthropologist, men and women ~like, were recently a positive side to this mission of his. author, lecturer and sometimes dancer called together for an evening devoted to Recovery from ~any serious disorders who is somewhere in his eightie!I, sex education. Acutely embarrassed by Miriam Women Plan involves psychological factors. Aft.er maintains good psychological health is this open discussion of a sensitive subject, Norman Cousins was told he bad a necessary for longevity. He believes that they got up and left the room minutes Kick-Off Event terminal disease, he took full vigor in all aspects of life including one's 1 responsibility for his recovery. Lipsitt intellectual curiosity is exceedingly aft.er it began. • The Miriam Hospital Women's feels even though Cousins may have important. They are no less embarrassed, says Dr. Association will hold a Kick-off Greenberg, by the fact that they can't over-emphasized the role laughter and As Lewis Lipsitt knows we are dying Equipment Event meeting on Monday, humor played in his complete healing, it prematurely. and it is our own fault. How maintain their customs in regard to a February 25 in preparation for the Annual woman's menstruation period. While did work for him. Surgeons admit odds of we live and when we die is largely a Equipment Event. It will be preceded by a surviving surgery increase as their psychological matter and it is up to us to observant Jewish couples from other Noon-time mini-lunch in the hospital's countries sleep in separate beds when the patient's optimism for recovery increases. shape our own ,destiny. Lewis Lipsitt has Sopkin Auditorium. At this meeting of A zest for life is as important in the speed given us the facts. Now it is up to us to wife is menstruating, in Ethiopia the The Women's Association, chairpeople woman goes off to live in a separate hut of recovery as good physical condition. accept the responsibility and live long, and workers Will receive informatitm on Lipsitt knows what a person says and full, natural lives. during that time. In Kiryat Shmoneh she beginning the fund-raising drive for the lacks this possibility and so she and her Annual Equipment Event, which will be husband feel that she is impure. held on Sunday, April 14 at Temple Such tension-provoking situations may Beth-El in Providence. Mi Dori. the THE ROCKING CHAIR NURSERY lead to mental illness, says Menachein 13-year-old Japanese violin prodigy, will Amit, Direct.or of the Mental Health appesr in concert to benefit The Miriam 193 Park Avenue, Cranston Clinic in Kiryat Shmoneh, who goes on to Hospital. 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Washington Report '"""""'d/rompag, I) ~:~go:~nFo:!~~n b~i~l!t!t;: 1t1~~i:!1r~ PPAC Presents among many of the guests that P resident and the new Minister of Information wi ll and Yitzhak Lior to name three of the be Avi Pazner, who has served in recent best. They established contacts on Capitol Reagan would propose a new F-15 fighter "Brighton Beach sale to Saudi Arabia in the coming years as Foreign Minister Yitzhak Hill which proved invaluable fo r Israel to Shamir's press adviser. Pazner is this ve ry day. months, probably iunvolving 40 Memoirs" well-known in Washington, having earlier Besides most of the accredited Israeli additional planes plus all sorts of related ·Neil Simon's new smash-hit comedy hardware and missiles. There was no clear served very ably as press counselor under Brighton Beach Memoirs now on national diplomats and military attaches in Ambassadors Simcha Di nitz and Ephraim Washington, there were also several strategy expressed at the reception about tour will be,live on stage at the Providence Evron. Now he will coordinate Israel's officials from the Democratic and how Israel and its friends in Congress Performing Arts Center on Friday and should best respond. Again, Israel was entire hazbara campaign in the United Saturday: February 8 and 9 at 8 p.m. Republican National Committees at the States, including the operations of Israel's reception. T he Embassy's congressional likely to be faced with a no-win situation. - The national tour iS directed by Tony Strongly resisting the sale would seriously nine consulates around the country. He liaison is charged with dealing with these has his work cut ·out for him. So does Award winner Gene Saks who has groups. That has meant attending the irritate the Administration at a time when assembled an outstanding cast which Israel is more dependent on U.S. support everyone else at the EmbasSy, Israel's parties' national conventions every fou r front•line of defense in the U.S. capital. includes (in alphabetical order); Skye years as well as many other than ever before. But those planes also Bassett, Patrick Dempsey, Brian mini-conferences in between. could pose a long-term danger to Israel's Drillinger, Richard Greene, Lynn In dealing directly with Congress, by qualitative edge in aerial combat. Thus, Milgrim, Rocky Parke r and Lisa Waltz. the way, the Israeli Embassy is doing there are pitfalls either way. The setting has been designed by David exactly what virtually every other The betting, however, was that Jordan Mitchell, with costumes by Patricia embassy in Washington does. The would not do well in Washington this Zipprodt and lighting by T haron Musser. British, French and even Soviet _ year. King Hussein, they felt, would Brighton Beach Memoirs is presented Embassies have specialists assigned to probably turn to Britain in the coming under the producing aegis of Emanuel Capitol Hill - just as the U.S. Embassy months for new fighters. Saudi Arabia · Azenberg. Wayne Rogers and Radio City in Tel Aviv has political officers who would be asked to finance such a deal. Music Hall Productions in association regularly work the Knesset. There is no great poli tical desire in the with Centre Group/ Ahmanson. T hus, the reception was clearly top Reagan Administration to push hard for heavy in politicos. That, in turn , was an F-16 sale to Jordan right now. And refl ected in the conversations. T he main Jordan is not all that anxious to go with Does Father Really Know Best? subjects - beyond the normal gossip of the less sophisticated F-20. (continued from page I) discussed that we really didn't have role There was considerable apprehension bureaucratic iTlfighting in Washington - opportunity to share their joys and models. except fo r our own immediate included the plight of Ethiopian Jewry, about the Ethiopian Jews with a general frustrations about the births they had fathers, that showed us how to be good Ariel Sharon's libel sui t against Time recognition that the less said publicly experienced. fathers. T here is also a stigma in society magazine, the Israeli economy, and other about the matter right now, the better. " Most of the men talked about how they that men frequently do not meet with issues which have lately received Many voices in Congress have spoken out gained weight," Warshaw said, "because of other men to discuss mutual problems through pri vate diplomatic channels in enormous publicity in the U.S. news the demands the newborn baby was since men often times do not talk with one media. For the most part, the day's calling fo r some action. T heir voices have placing on their lives. T hey still had to another but share their problems with newspaper headlines and television news been heard in various African countries work and with the new arrival in their their wives. T his course was successful in broadcasts continue to shape political wh ich are extremely sensitive to their own family, they found that the child had that it broke down that stereotype." discourse in the U.S. capital. im'ages in Washington, especiall y in cramped their style." The eleven men met at the Jewish There was also talk of more specific connection with U.S. foreign aid. The "Most of the men in the group felt their Family Service offices on Waterman issues involving Israel and Congress, such lawmakers, however, are refraini ng from were role conflicts involved about being a Street in Providence. Following the as the forthcoming 1986 fiscal year foreign going public at this time. new father," Goldberg said. "All the men conclusion of their meetings, they had a aid bill which P resident Reagan is about Sharon, by the way, may not be the admitted that they fe lt pulled in all party at co-facilitator Warshaw's home to release as well as any new arms sales to most popular Israeli in Washington, but directions - having to be breadwinners, with the wo men and the children, bringing Saudi Arabia and other "moderate" Arab at the reception, most of the Americans gentle and sensitive husbands, and now, a togetheP. the entire fa mily unit. states. Congress, under U.S. law, can play were basically hoping he would smash new role, that of Superdad, having to "We learned, at the conclusion of the a critical role in affecting the final Time, which has long had a reputation change diapers, take the child fo r a walk course," Goldberg said, "that as a parent outcome on both of those matters. among the pro-Israeli crowd in the United and so forth." we had to make a lot of sacrifices and that There was no shortage of opinions, States as harbouring anti-Israeli views. Several of the men, upon voicing their it was helpful when we had the company of although a consensus among many of the Ironically, many of the Israelis, while concerns, admitted that often times the other men to share what those sacrifices staunchly pro-Israeli Americans at the not very fond of Time, seemed to have an frustrations led them to think violent ·were like for us. Several of the men from reception seemed to emerge on the matter over-riding concern that a Sharon victory thoughts toward their children. One man the group have expressed an interest in of inc reased U.S. economic and military would help him politicall y back in Israel in particular. whose child was a screamer, meeting on a monthly basis. continuing aid to Israel. They agreed that the - a development they openly feared. told the group that he wondered if there the group." position taken by Secretary of State Rosenne, as usual, was a gracious host, was a return policy fo r the child at the Ivy Marwil of the Jewish Family Service. also feels the George Schultz, ultimately, would be personally welcoming everyone. He can be hospital where the child was born. A group was decisive. quite charming on such occasions. He has typical reaction after thinking thoughts successful. "Because we lead such busy lives," she Shultz is highly respected on Capitol a very good sense of humor. Since arri ving like this - and fortunately not acting said, "ifs important to connect with one Hill. He is regarded as a strong supporter in Washington nearly two years ago, he them out - was to feel guilty about of Israel. He is also an economist. If he has t raveled widely across the country thinking or feeling them in the fi rst place. another to share ideas and concerns and to realize that we are not alone with our pushes for aid increases to Israel, pushing Israel's cause. His schedule is These thoughts and fee lings we re Congress can be expected to fo llow suit. always busy. discussed in the group as we ll. problems." But if he hesitates, the Israeli program The other day, fo r example, after the Two new groups for mothers will be "Another topic of discussion," Warshaw starting-up next month, a Mothers and will be in trouble. Israeli Cabinet announced a unilateral said, "were the serious problems the Toddlers group beginning on March 19 Some things said at the reception were withdrawal from south Lebanon, he rose fathers confronted when their children and running fo r six weeks and a Mothers not exactly what Prime Minister Shimon early to appear on ABC's "Good Morning were ill. As a parent, we have protective and Infants group beginning on April 30 Peres and others in Jerusalem would like America." At midnight the same day, he instincts - we want to make sure our and running to June 18. Interested to hear. There was broad agreement that was the only guest on Larry King's children are well and that we're doing all mothers should phone the Jewish Family Israel wi ll have to be considerably more popular coast-to-coast radio talk show on we can for them. But when a child is ill, we convincing in coming to grips with its the Mutual Broadcasting Network. Service fo r more information. As of this , have a helpless fee ling, and the men in the writing, there is no new father's group inflationary and budget headaches. Rosen ne answered questions from callers group discussed this." People in Washington are waiting for until 3 a.m. In between "Good Morning "As we continued to meet over the six.­ scheduled unless men in the community more sweeping austerity measures and America" and the Larry King Show, he week period," Goldberg said_!_ "we express an interest in forming one. structural changes in the Israeli economy. separately welcomed the new Shultz is far from certain that Israel has Ambassadors fro m Egypt and Haiti to the done 'everything possible to get its house Embassy fo r what Israeli officials • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• in order. described as cou.,...esy calls. He hosted a ! PASSOVER AT BROWN'S : reception in honor of the slain civil rights The Secretary, after all, will have to • Passo~r at Brown's. Oilr own personal Sedar a~':~!'~;°rvices : testify before the House and the Senate in leader, the Rev. Martin Luther King. support of the aid to Israel. What he says Washington, D.C. Mayor Marion Barry ; ~~e;iu~(fi1 s!~~:ha;~~~~:1:~~nSf!~ces. Cantor ABRAHAM WOLKIN . • will he cri tical in shaping t he attitudes of and many Black leaders gathered at the • ~~i~::i~n3rif;~~~n~~[!~ J~rts ~r::!i ~?~ Pc~~~LcJ~~~ • tough-minded legislators who are pressing embassy fo r that moving event. It was • itiat have become a tradition at DIETARY LAWS OBSERVED • hard to curtail America's own growing especially important given the recent budget deficit. The U.S. economy and strains between Blacks and Jews in : ~O:,~~sa1~5e:u~ei:{~1~s~~~r'radition --~Olarlc• •uw... • ; dollar may be very strong right now,but America. Rosenne also found time to • REOPENINGMARCH2Sl ...,p.-.....,..s . the mood in Washington is determined to attend a diplomatic function at the • Special Holiday Shows Stam·ng LOC~~2~~ ,~~ I,, • cut federal spending across the board. Romanian Embassy in Washington. • JACIGE MASON FOR ,.... , AT _L . • This, therefore, is not exactly the most The burden on Rosenne and others at 18 001 431 3856 propitious moment for Israel to appeal for the Embassy should be eased considerably • ALIZA KASID •~-"--·-•------• increased financial assistance. in the coming months with the arrival of There was also a sort of resignation two new diplomats - the new number •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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(401) 272-9600 ... The Shortest Route Home 12 - THE RHODE lSLAND HERALD, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1985

.NOAH'S ARK A newspaper for Jewish children

FEBRUARY, 1985 / 5 H VAT-ADAR, 5745

Oh! Today We'll Merry, Merry Be ... Hebrew Wo~ds of the· Month The main way to celebrate the holiday of Purim is to read the Megillah - the scroll of Esther. Other ways of celebrating include giving gifts and giving charity. But Jews are also told to make this holiday a day of "feasting and gladness"! We aren't always told we . HAVE to nave fun - but on Purim it's a mitzvah (commandment)!

How do we make Purim a day of "feasting and gladness"? We dress up in costumes, go to Purim carnivals, and make a lot of noise, twirling our groggers at the synagogue when the Megillah is read. Also, .we enjoy a special Seudat Purim (a Purim meal) in the after­ noon orl Purim day.

But for hundreds of years, the most popular way of " making merry" on Purim was to have a Purimshpiel. Shpiel is a Yiddish word, which means a play, so a Purimshpiel is a play about Purim. The Purimshpiel was usually about the Purim story or the Purim \ li?O~~ characters, but the play was usually funny instead of serious. It (sah chah kahn) made fun of the characters and the events, because the main • 1_1ctor purpose of the Purimshpiel was to make people laugh. I The Purimshpiel became popular around the middle of the 16th ------, century, when Jewish boys and girlS dressed up in costumes and Purim Jumble went from house to house. They sang jingles and asked for money or refreshments. They made up poems about the Purim story, or made fun of prayers or Bible stories. Sometimes they imitated What is your father's favorite filling for hamantashen? the rabbi or people from the synagogue.

To find out, unscramble the words below: The holiday of Purim teaches us that good will win over evil, just like it did for Esther and the Jews of Persia. YAST O · 0 In the meantime, on Purim we laugh at ourselves and make :o merry. OEPH 0 (The Purimshpiel in this picture was . performed last year by children in the Soviet KAPE 0 0 Union - where the Jewish people live in danger and hope that good will win over evil SOON .) EPED 0 0 0 This year, to celebrate Purim, put on a Purimshpiel of your own. Write your play with your family, friends, or classmates. You can Now unscramble the circled letters to find the answer to the do your show in your class (with your teacher's permission, of riddle. course) or at home during your Purim feast! Choose one scene in the Purim story - and perform a funny version of it. If you don't want to act it out "in person", make puppets and do your shpiel ------' that way' - Answers on page 2. And whatever you do, laugh and make merry on Purim ! ~ --~~-- ~------.,,_

THE RHODE ISLA ND HERALD, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 13

r I Book Review And I Included in this Word Find are words that have to do with the I Purim Craft Project 1urim holiday. The words may be written across or up and down - I nd some are even spelled backwards. (The phrase shalach manot j If you're looking for some fun holiday craft projects to make , split; shalach is in one place and manot is in another.) I - with things you probably have around your house - this is the I book for you. More Let's Celebrate, by Ruth Esrig Brinn, Ahashverus Mask includes 57 crafts for children of all ages. This new paperback Crowns Megillah book, illustrated by Katherine Janus Kahn, was published by Esther Mordecai Kar-Ben Copies and cost $4.95. Groggers Noise Harnan (twice) Persia A Purim craft project, adapted from More Let's Celebrate, Hamantash Shalach Manot is printed below. Lots Shushan Hoot Haman M s H u s H A N p H What You Need: E N A M R N s E C Paper towel roll Waxed paper G w M A N 0 T A R A Rubber band Colored paper 0 A s E 0 C s L Tape or glue Fat nail Yarn L R N K s s L E A What You Do: L C T T E B D A H 1. Cover one end of the roll with waxed paper. Keep it in place A H A s H V E R u s with a rubber band. 2. Cover the roll with colored paper, using tape or glue. H L s R E G G 0 R G 3. Using the fat nail, poke four air holes on one side. t 4. Now poke 2 more holes near the bottom edge and attach H M B H A R N A M A yarn so you may wear your Purim noisemaker. t.' 5. Toot into your "horn" to " hoot Haman" when you hear his name read. ; To order More Let's Celebrate by mail, send $6.95 l(includes postage and handling) to Kar-Ben Copies,- 11216 Empire Lane, Rockville, Maryland 20852. ------; Answer To Rebus NOAH'S ARK (;a,oJaq pawuu A New.~paper for Contest! Contest! Jew~h Children .,.... 1saJ atu) i•A!d = HV8 - HV:3:8 + :3:OQ - :3:AOQ + Linda Freedman Block and Make as many words as you can, 4 or more letters long: from the Debbie Israel Dubin 3.L}I - 3.LDI + HSI - HS!d Editors • word YERUSHALAYIM. A letter can be used only as many times N ■ chm ■ n,/IIW<1rn1ioo., as it appears in Yerushalayim. (For example, sales is not okay be· Goldie Knobler, (',r("umflM Answer to Jumble 5514 Ruthe rglen cause there's only ones in Yerushalayim). No proper words (words that begin with capital letters) may be used. Plural words are okay as Stay, hope, peak, deep. Hou~t~;h~~;:17096 f ''/>1"1,'AI / .Wl,i ,, Nl/1,H'/i MIK long as the s is used only once in each word. Poppy seed. /nrl"1dunl ,u~,-..,,p1,,,.,, ,.,.. ~-i 1111 IU H Hou.,,,,., ., tf; 1'< •1 ~" ,.,,.,.,1,,_ ~/ll{lf/ flt_,.._ ltlll'I,.,. f>'lld ,_, f ;,<,; rM,,.,.,,,.,.,/;i- NYlh '"/1¥­ Entries will be put in two groups: ages 8 and under, and ages 9 Answer to Word Find m'llr<.,lt/ "'""")' ,,,..i,.,, p,rynl,/r '" (/ .\' d,,1/,.,..,) and over. The person who sends in the most correct words in each ""d,1mJ· l,ro,,-,l,'1Y'11(,.,,,./,,,.ko,o"'"-'~lff•,., H V w V aj Iii' V /H' e NOA H'S ARK h ■- acin:ulalionof446,000. group will win a prize. If more that one winning entry is received, ~ " More lh ■n 60"- or thi• pm ■ nm i1 pub­ , H 0 0 0 3 H s 1 H the winner will be selected by a drawing. No help from family or ll1hed H ■ ■ upp l e m e nt to the following n e w•p ■ p e r ■: J ew l ■ h Herald - Voice, fri ends, please! s n H 3 ., H s V H V Hou.ion, Tx.; Rhode b land Jewl•h /' Her1ld, Providence, R. I.; lntermouni..ln I , 1 H e 3 , 3 Jewi ■ b New ■, Denver, Co.; Jewi ■ h

Send your entry with your name, complete address, and age to: ~ Chronicle, Pitllburgh, Pa.; J ewi ■ h Ex• Jerusalem Contest, NOAH'S ARK. 7726 Portal, Houston, Texas V I 3 "i' s s -' H 1 ponent, P h\11d e l p h i ■, P■ .; Soulhern ' l 1r ■ e li te, All1ni... Ga.; B'nai B'rhh 77071. Entries will not be considered unless you include your age. 1 3 0 I 3 s V 0 I Meuenger, Lo ■ Angele-t, Ca.; Herllage. ~o San Dieio, Ca.; J ew l ■ h Journal, Brook• (You must be 6-12 years old to enter.) V V , 0 -' V w M 0 lyn, N. Y.; Jewi1h Advocalf'. Bo ■ to n , M ■ .; J ewi ■ h Bulletin. San Franci ■ co. Ca.; 3 Ii:) H -!:! V 3 J ewl ■ h Ughl, St. Loul ■ , Mo.; JUF Ne-.. Deadline: March 10. 1985. The winner will be announced in the 0. ~ ·" Chicago, 11 . May (Yorn Yerushalayim - Jerusalem Day) issue. H 1(, V H s n H s ~ 1 14 - THE RH-o~E· 1S~N-D ·~ERALi/ F~A\1 , FE~Ru~y s.·~91~ rl::::::::::::::::~~~~~:::;;;:::::;;;____ . Assertiveness Dance Festival 1 Offers Unusual :Obituaries :~i~~n~.~!c ~~,:c:. . Performances • marionette, controlled by situations and people in your life'? Sign up now for "How More than one hundred dance students to Pull Your Own Strings," offered by the from colleges throughout the New SADIE R. NEMTZOW IRVING MOSSBERG South Area Jewish Community Center on England Region, will participate in an NEWPORT - Sadie R. Nemtzow, 89, CRANSTON - Irving Mossberg, 57, of Thursday, February 28 from 10:15-11:45 intensive three day dance festival hosted of 11 Malbone Rd. died Thursday, 64 Holburn Ave., a bank employee, died a.m. Learn how to define your assertive by Rhode Island College. Foremost on January 31 at Miriam Hospital, Sunday, February 3, at home. He was the role by assessing your "victim posture," their busy schedule will be the many Providence. She was t he wife of the late husband of Beatrice (Aron) Mossberg. and then consciously decide how you want classes, lectures, and workshops available Morris Nemtzow. Born in Brownsville, N.Y., a son of to be treated. Learn new ways to be each day, led by guest artists and teachers Mrs. Nemtzow worked with her Solomon 'Mossberg of Pawtucket, alld the quietly effective. who are experts in the fie ld of dance. husband in t heir' business, Nemtzow late Rose (Bochner) Mossberg, he lived in This workshop held at the Center, 1044 Modern, Ballet, Jazz and Tap are Paint and Hardware Store. The store Cranston for 26 years. He previously lived Central St., Stoughton, will be led by included in the comprehensive teaching opened in 1916 on West Broadway and in Providence. psychotherapist Ellen Frishman, LICSW, program. moved to Thames Street, where it closed Mr. Mossberg wo rked in the operations who has 20 years of clinical experience. Adding to the excitement will be three in 1955. center of the Fleet National Bank, Pre-registration is required by Friday, dance concerts. The first will be a concert Born in the city of Vitbsk, part of Providence, for the past three years. He February 22. The fee is $3 for members by the New York based Daniel McCusker Geberne state in Latvia, Russia, she was previously worked for 25 years as an agent and $5 fo r nonmembers. To register, send and Company on Thursday, February 14 the daughter of the late Menachim and of the Boston Mutual Life Insurance Co. the fee (checks payable to SAJCC) to the with concerts on Friday and Saturday, Sosha Slavin. He was a World War II Army veteran. He Center. For more information call Liz at February 15 and 16 perfo rmed by Mrs. Nemtzow was a life member of the was a member of the Knights of Pythias, the Center, 821-0030 or 341-2016. students. All concerts will begin at 8 p.m. Newport Chapter of Haddassah, the the Jewish War Veterans and in Roberts Auditorium on the Rhode Ladies Auxiliary of Touro Synagogue and Congregation Beth Sholom. Island College campus. Tickets for the the Jewish Home for the Aged in Besides his wife and father he leaves a SAJCC Offers Daniel McCusker and Company concert Providence. She was also a member of the son, Paul Mossberg; a daughter, Rose are $5, $4 for the student concerts (a ll Congregation Jeshuat lsrael-Touro Mossberg, both at home, and two Hebrew Classes tickets are 1/2 price fo r senior citizens and Synagogue. brothers, Jacob and Alfred Mossberg, The South Area Jewish Community $1 fo r R. I.C. students with l.D. ). For She leaves a daughter, Shirley Mintz of both of Warwick. Center is o_ffering an 8-week Intermediate ticket information and reservations call Chevy Chase, Md.; two sons, Dr. Irving 8. A funeral service was held at the Mall: Hebrew Class on Thursdays, beginning 456-9791. Nemtzow of Newport and Dr. Aaron R. Sugarman Memorial Chapel, 458 Hope February 28 at the Center, 1044 Central Meeting other student dancers, and Nemtzow of Providence; 6 grandchildren St., Providence. Burial was in Lincoln St., Stoughton. The course, which will being exposed to new dance disciplines are and 3 great-grandchildren. Park Cemetery, Warwick. meet from 8:00-9:30 p.m., is taught by only a part of the Festival's enormous Her funeral service was at the Jewish BYRON SCHUSTER experienced instructor Necbama Page, appeal. The students wi ll have an Memorial Chapel, Fowler Avenue. Burial NEWTON CENTER, Mass. - Byron author of a Basic Hebrew Text. It will opportunitY to study "Elements of was in the Congregation Jeshuat Israel Schuster, 52, of 137 Wiswall Rd., a include conversation, reading and writing. Performing" with special guest "instructor section of Braman Cemetery. furniture salesman, died Sunday, The course fee is $30 for members and Pauline Koner, view the wo rk of New MORRIS PREST February 3, at. Beth Israel Hospital, $45 for non-members. Pre-registration is York dance/video artist Jacqueline Pine, Boston. He was the husband of Harriet requested by sending a check, payable to and attend an informational panel on SEEKONK, Mass. - Morris Prest, 79, SAJ CC, to the Center by Wednesday, "Summer Dance Festivals." of 922 Newman Ave., a former truck (Budd) Schuster. Born in Pawtucket, a son of the late February 20. For more information, please The American College Dance Festival is driver, died Monday, February 4 at Roger an on-going Festival that began in 197350 Isadore and Clara (Schuster) Schuster, he call Liz at the Center, 821-0030 Williams General Hospital. He was the 341-2016. that college dancers might have the moved to Newton Center 16 years ago. husband of the late Alice (Dumond) Prest. opportunity to perform for each other and Mr. Schuster was a Korean War Army Born in Providence, he lived in Marrano Program for established professionals in dance, Pawtucket for 20 years, and in Seekonk veteran. He was a member of the Mayflower and Jeremiah Lodges of the _At Cong. Beth Shalom obtain critiques, and to provide for five years. wo rkshops and opportunities for Mr. Prest worked for the M & M B'nai B'rith, Boston, and the Congregation Beth Sholom will be Dorchester-Roxbury-Mattapan Associa­ interacti9n among participants. T ransportation Co. for 35 years before holding a Saturday night Melave Malkah For furthur information and retiring 15 years ago. ~ t ion. program on February 16 at 8:00 p.m. reservations, please call Dante Del Besides his wife he leaves a daughter, He leaves a son, Morris Marsh of T he program will consist of a Giudice, Festival Coordinator at Tampa, Fla.; a daughter, Dorothy Marsh Rhonda Vigeant of Bedford; a son, Marc presentation by Mr. J ack Mossberg on the 456-9791. of Seekonk; three sisters, Mrs. Pearl Ross, Schuster of Newton Center; two brothers, "Marranos - The Hidden Jews of Spain Mrs. Anna Pennacinni, both of Albert and Bernard Schuster, both of and Portugal and Their Connection to Providence, and Mrs. Tillie Rose of Cranston, and a granddaughter. Present Day Providence." Reyna Habif To Milton; fou r grandchildren and se.yen A funeral service' was held at the Mr. Mossberg has traveled extensively great-grandchildren. Stanetsky Memorial Chapels, 1668 in Spain and Portugal and will be showing Perform For A funeral service was held at the Max Beacon St., Brookline. Burial was in slides of his investigation of the RIJCC Singles Sugarman Memorial Chapel, 458 Hope ShafOn Memprial Park, Sharon. Marranos. He will describe the links he St., Providence. Burial was in Lincoln has uncovered between medieval On Tuesday, February 12 the RIJCC Park Cemetery, Warwick. Lung Association Marranos and the contemporary Singles will present a Cafe night featuring Portuguese immigrant community in folk singer, Reyna Habif. The evening will Sponsors Better Rhode Island. begin around 7:30 p.m. Wine, cheese and a Quitting A Bad Habit The program is free and open to the sing-along will be part of the fun. $2.50 for The Rhode Island Lung Association's Breathers Program public. Congregation Beth Sholom is members. $4.00 for non-members. "Freedom from Smoking" clinic will be of­ located at 275 Camp Street, Providence. fered through the Barrington Community T he Rhode Island Lung Association's · Coffee and dessert will be served. School beginning on Tuesday, February 26 "Better Breathers," a support group for at 7:00 p.m. at Barrington High School. people with emphysema and bronchitis, Subsequent meetings of the seven-session will meet on Wednesday, February 13 course will begin at 7:30 p.m. and will run from 2 to 4 p.m. at the Evergreen House on March 5, 12, 14, 19, 26, and April 9. Health Center. Route 6, East Providence. .~ Recognized by the staff of the National The program will consist of a review of H Part, Lung and Blood Institute as "the breathing exercises, and relaxation tapes best 8Vailable program in the Country to will be played. Group discussion and U.S . Feder~I law now requires all funeral homes to quit smoking," the program concentrates refreshments will follow. on the individual coping techniques and Reservations are appreciate

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LEWIS J BOSLER. RE THE RHODE ISLAND HERALD, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 - 15 Adult Education Camping Out At Beth Am-Beth David At RIJCC Contemporary social issues and Jewish The JCC will be offering vacation history are the main topics of this winter's camps for children and preschoolers Classifleds Adult Education program at Temple Beth I during the February school holidays. • Am-Beth David. Preschool day camps, for ages 3-4, will be The eight-week program of held from Monday, February 18, through mini-courses and lectures begins February Friday, February 22. Hours are 9 a.m. to 3 I 7 at the Temple, 40 Gardiner St., p.m., with extended day available until 5 ENTERTAINMENT GENERAL SERVICES SPECIAL SERVICES Warwick, and participation is open to the p.m. Children bring a kosher dairy lunch. public. Fee for the 5-day camp is $60 for The cou,rses will be taught by D.J. STEVE YOKEN PRO­ PAPER HANGER: Specializ- NOW YOU CAN OBTAIN members, $90 for non-members; extended FESSIONAL SOUND ond SUPER professionals and lay persons with a day is $2/hour. F0r information and ing in WallteK, vinyls, foil, inte- MosterCard and/or Visa even if LIG.HT SHOW for Bor/ Bot rior ond eKferior pointing. Quol- previously rejected. Credit prob· wealth of knowledge and experience in the registration, call Carolyn Roseman, field which they will be discussing. Mitzvohs, weddings, etc. Refer­ ity work, reasonoble price. Free lems, new in credit, we con help. Director of Preschool Services, at ences. RADIO ST ATION PRIZES. estimotes. Coll Ken, 944-4872, 95% accepted. Savings account The first hour (7-8 p.m.) of, the 861-8800. 617-679-1545. 12/27/85 successive Thursday evening programs 942-9412. 3/1/85 ond fee required. Coll 351-9565. For children in grades K through 6, the ENTERTAINMENT _THAT'S 2/15/85 will be devoted to a choice of mini-courses: Children's Department will offer day "Introduction to Jewish Mysticism," a FUN!! 50's Rock'n'Roll , foot- 1 camps from February 14 through February stompin' country. By Ron Bionco · historical review of Jewish mysticism, 22 (weekdays only). The schedule includes presented by Paul Gilman who has 0 an Israel Day, a Chinese Day, a Michael ;:n~ '..:1;f 5:~:~e~~: ~~~!~~n~~ FOR RENT ::~~ON~LiNf:t~~BOX COR- lectured on this topic many times. Jackson Day, a rollerskating trip, swim th "The Yiddish Experience," featuring and gym, and in-Center movies. Hours are :;~;'.~52;;~8•~~~bo e ~i:J;~ ' EAST SIDE: Modern 3-room ;~:s~~tJ~~~h He1"old Yiddish drama and folk songs and history 9:30 a.m. to 3 p.m., with extended hours apo'!~ent, heot, opplionces, air ------99 Webster Street and includes practice in conversational available (8-9:30 a.m. and 3-6 p.m.; 3-5 on ~:~~::'.d42f~~;r·33~~2l2~.$. Powtucket, R.I . 02861 Yiddish, taught by Paula Krumholtz, also Fridays). Children bring a dairy lunch, an experienced teacher. HELP WANTED 2/8/85 swimsuit and towel. Pee· is $12/day for This newspaper will no!, know­ The lecture series during the second members, $24 for non-members; extended hour (8:15-9:15 p.m.) includes the ingly, accept any odverlising for day is $2 for the morning or afternoon CAMP KINGSWOOD, Bridgeton, 1 real estote which is in violotion following: session, $4 for both. For information and Moine, seeks counsellors in the ------of the R.I. Foir Housing Act ond February 7, 14 and 21: "Surviving the registration, call Ruby Shalansky, fo11oWing oreos: canoeing, soil­ FOR SALE Section 804 (C) of Title VIII of Teenage Years," with Paul Segal, Children's Services - Coordinator, ing, woter skiing, W.S.I., tennis, the 1968 Civil Rights Act. Our orchery, othletics, outdoor comp­ executive director, and Ellen Steingold, 861 -8800. reoders ore hereby informed clinical psychologist, both from the Jewish ing, dromatics, and orts ond NARRAGANSETT. Minutes tho! oil dwelling/housing ac­ Family Service. crofts. Contocl More Casso, di­ from beach, pork and shopping. commodotions od~ertis'ed in this 3-bedroomranchwithcathedrol February 28, March 7 and 14: "The rector, at 617-592-9421. newspoper ore ovai1oble on on Real And Artificial 2/ 15/ 85 ceilings, olorm system, centrol equol opportunity bosis. · Empty Nest - What's Next, or vac, oir conditioning, fireploce Retirement Can Be Fun," with Ruth lntellig~nce Series ond more. Set on beautifully Silverman, clinical psychologist for the londscoped lot. $129,000. Boy Jewish Family Service. At URI ROOM AND BOARD Reolty.789-3003. 3/ 1/ 85 March 21: "Parnossah - An Exhibit Based On The History of the Jews of The University of Rhode Island is Rhode Island 1880-1920,". presented by sponsoring a Spring Honors Colloquium 22-YEAR-OLD MALE needs Eleanor F. Horvitz, librarian and archivist featuring weekly lectures on "Real and hon\ewithniceJewishfomilyfor 6 months. Sponsored by Interna­ SITUATION WANTED with the Rhode Island Jewish Historical Artificial Intelligence." The schedule follows: tional Company. Arriving 2/3/85. Association. Hos own transportotion. Able to CREATIVE, ENERGETIC, February 13: "Cognitive Wheels and poy room ond boord. Good ref­ young retiree. B.A.;M.Ed. seeks Introduction to the Frame Problem in AI" erences. Eloine. 738-7180. 8,30- interesting new challenge. Closs­ RIJCC Plans Ski Trip Daniel Dennett, Department of 5,00. 2/15/85 BoKNo.543. 2/8/85 Philosophy, Tufts University. The JCC 9th-12th grade Outdoors Club February 20: "Neuropsychological Membeffl are taking reservation for their Speculations about the Relation of Brain --. ,. ------+------1· Feb. 17-18 ski trip to Wildcat and Loon Function to AI" Dominic Valentino, ski resorts. Both downhill and Department of Psychology, University of cross-country skiing are available, and the Rhode Island. c_L_A_ss_1_F1_e_o_A_o_o_RD-ER p~:eE_E_r___ ! trip includes Sunday dinner and breakfast February 27: "Animal Intelligence: Can f, ... __ and lunch on Monday. Skiers should Apes Learn Language?" Carolyn Ristau, , bring a big lunch for Sunday, and extra Departmeflt of Animal Behavior, Address I money if they want to sign up for ski Rockefeller University. I school instruction. March 6: "Learning in Parallel ,. Only 24 spaces are available. Call Mimi Networks" Geoffrey Hinton, Department Classification ______Headline ______Jefferson at 861-8800 for more of Computer Science, Carnegie-Mellon I information and reservations. University. Message ______'· Cl\}N,A_~!·••'~~ . I RATES PAYMENT Payment MUST be received by ~ Fine Chinese Cooking _ 15 words for $3.00 Wednesday afternoon, PRIOR to 12<: per word the foday on wh,ch the ad rs to ach additional word appeo, 5% d,scount for ads run- ning 6 mo continuously (2 copy M11.,berece,vedby changes allowed) 10% discount , Wedne,doy noon 10 '"" for ads running contrnuously f« 1 yr. l,,, following Fridoy pofN (4 changes of copy permitted). ' • R I JEWtSH HEUllD, PO lo• 6063 , Providence, R I 029◄0-6063 : ------Opt.•nidays 11:30 a.m.-11 :00 p.m TAKE OUT ORDERS Ask About Our Special Fri. & Sal. 'til 12 :00 p.m. 8 P .M. - 8 A.M. Rate MARTY'S - M IPLE.l'All'.KI N(:- 273-6220 ...... ,, KOSHER MEAT MARKET . 467-8903 88'h Rolfe St, Cranslon We Sil Betrer 421-1213 Koshered Meats For You New Parking Available Across the Street McCRUDDEN RADIATOR FRESH Chicken Breasts $1.49 lb. EMPIRE REPAIR Chicken Legs lb. 69$ Comish Hens $1.39 lb. HEB. NAT'L ~ Franks 12 oz. pkg. 1.79 Brust Deckel $2.59 lb. MRS. WEINBERG'S N. Y. Flancken lb, Chopped Uver I oz. pkg 1.09 $2.69 738-2550 We have a full line of Lundy'•® 835 West Shore Road l If You Want To Save$$$ Warwick, R.I. l latt Koshered Packaged Meats " M=t.r N.A.R S.A." Go See Marty!!! lb - nu,, K.HUUJ<.; USLANU H.KHA.LD, 1''1UDA Y, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 Ben-Gurion once wrote Mr. Blaustein - lished in 1969 to carry our David Ben-Gu­ or "Yaacov" as he called him - suggesting rion's dream of developing the Negev, the he come live in Sde Boker " ... and to­ arid southern region that is 60 percent of gether we shall make the desert bloom." the land of Israel. The University is sup­ Members of the Jacob and Hilda ported in the United States through Amer­ Baustein Foundation Board of Trustees ican Associates, Ben-Gurion•University of include, in addition to Dr. Blaustein, the Negev at 342 Madison Avenue, Suite David and Barbara Hirschhorn of Balti­ 1924, New York, NY 10173, telephone more, Maryland, and Dr. Arthur and Eliz• (212) 687-7721, and in the New England abeth Roswell of Bridgewater, New Jersey. Area at 1 132 Ipswich St., Boston 02215, Ben-Gurion University,_with campuses (617) 236-4390 . ...!E..._!!eersheva and Sde Boker, was est.ab- Israelis Debate Nuclear Defense Three Tel Aviv University professors This view is disputed by Feldman's col• are involved in Israel's growing contro­ league, Dr. Yair Evron ofTAU's Faculty of · versy about whether to build - or not Social Sciences, who declared: "No Israeli build - nuclear weapons. The debate has policymaker would by willing to rely exclu• also revealed that two of these figures have sively on a nuclear deterrent." altered their long-held political view­ However, both Feldman and Evron points. agree that in the long run Israel will be Minister of Science and Development unable to prevent her enemies from acquir­ Yuval Ne'eman, former president of Tel ing nuclear weapons. To ameliorate this Aviv University and a leading Israeli situation, the Tel Aviv University profes­ hawk, declared in a recent Jerusalem sors have called for the establishment of a speech that Israel's best interests would Nuclear Weapons Free Zone in the Middle ·not be served by basing her defense on nu• East, with on•site inspections by investi­ "Closed system" greenhouse agriculture at Israel's Ben-Gqrion University of clear deterrence, "because the nuclear bal­ gators from the region, similar to the zone the Negev. ance-of-terror that exists between the su­ established in Latin America under the perpowers would not work in the Middle Treaty of Talatelolco. Ben-Gurion University ofthe Negev, (s. techniques to halting the worldwide spread East." "That way," Prof. Ne'eman declared, rael's only university in the desert, will be of desert, one-third of the Earth's land sur­ The card-carrying dove who has come "the Iraqis could make sure that nuclear sharing its expertise in growing cheap and face. The Blaustein lnstitute's successes to out in favor of nuclear weapons is Dr. Shai weapons weren't being produced in Israel, abundant food in arid land thanks to a ma­ date include growing crops in special Feldman of TAU's Jaffee Center for and we could do the same in Iraq." jor grant from the Jacob and Hilda desert greenhouses which protect the Strategic Studies. In his controve·rsial Blaustein Foundation in Baltimore, Mary­ plants from both the desert's harsh heat book, " Israel's. policymakers to make nu­ land. The grant extablishes the Blaustein and cold; using ther desert sun and brack­ clear weapons the cornerstone of their Nutrition And Starvation International Center for Desert Studies at ish water to grow protein-rich algae for country's defense system, recommending Ben-Gurion University's Jacob Blaustein food in drought-stricken regions; and re­ an arsenal of 30 to 40 such weapons in the Lectures Planned Institute for Desert Research at Sde Boker viving ancient methods of desert agricul­ 20 to 60 kilotron range. in the heart of the Negev desert. ture using runoff water from winter flash Prof. Ne'eman, a renowned nuclear Myron Winick, M.D., Williams Dr. Morton K. Blaustein, president of nooos. physicist, says that while Israel has a nu­ Professor of Nutrition at the Columbia the family foundation, said, "Ben-Gurion International programs already in place clear infrastructure, "she has never crossed University College of Physicians and University scientists have already proved include instructing Arizona's NavajQ Indi­ the threshold into the nuclear weapons Surgeons in New York will present a they can make the Negev both livable and ans in the techniques of runoff water agri­ club." Minister Ne'eman, who believes lecture on "Nutrition and its Effects upon agriculturally productive. By spreading culture. that Israel's boundaries should embrace the Developing Nervous System." The this know-how, the Blaustein Interna­ Of special interest in a fuel-conscious the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, is con­ lecture will be held on Thursday, January tional Center will be able to make a perma­ world is the Blaustein Institute's adobe vinced that any nuclear deterrent, which 31 at 11:00 a.m. in Sopkin Auditorium. nent contribution to the lives of people house. Using innovative methods of pas­ would be employed only if Israel were In addition to the first lecture there will who live in arid regions anywhere in the sive and solar heating, the house is cool in about to be oyerrun militarily, would not be a second one held later in the day. world. The University's cooperation with summer, warm in winter, with an annual lessen her need to maintain conventional Morris D. Morris, Ph.D., Henry R. Luce Egypt on-arid land agriculture is an e:um­ fuel bill of $20. forces. He also pointed out that a nuclear Professor of the Comparative Study of ple." These institutions named in memory of device detonated close to Israel's borders Development, from Brown University and According to BGU President Shlomo David Ben-Gllcrion and Jacob Blaustein re• to destroy ma~ Arab armies would also Dr. Winick will present a Symposium on Gazit, "The International Center will be fleet an historic association. Mr. destroy much of Israel itself. the Roots of Starvation. This lecture is in devoted to helping the Jacob Blaustein In­ Blaustein, an industrialist who co-founded Prof. Feldman, who does not share Min­ conjunction with Temple Beth-El stitute for Desert Research, already in ex­ the American Oil Company, was a leading ister Ne'eman's territorial views, has called Synagogue, St. Martin's Church and the istence, cultivate international confer­ American Jewish communal leader. He • for an Israeli defense policy based on nu­ Chaplaincy of Brown University and will ences and semin!U$ at Sde Boker." served as President of The American Jew­ clear deterrence so that Israel could then be held on Thursday, January 31 at 8:00 The Blaustein Institute, under Director ish Committee from 1949 to 1954, as a· withdraw to borders approximating the p.m. at the Temple Beth-El Synagogue, 70 Joe Gale, is located near David Ben-Gu­ United States Delegate to the United Na­ 1967 armistice lines. A the same time, he Orchard Street, Providence, RI. rion's kibbutz and gravesite in Sde Boker. tions in 1955-1956, as Senior Vice Presi­ declared: "Any significant attempt by Work will begin shortly on the Blaustein dent of the Conference of Jewish Material Arab armies to cross these borders would International Center's classrooms, dorms, Claims Against Germany, and as an ad­ meet with nuclear punishment." workshops and offices. Construction will viser to five United States Presidents. His The Tel Aviv University strategist be­ apply the principles of desert architecture interest in the State of Israel and in defin­ lieves that an openly nuclear-based de­ developed at the Blaustein Institute. ing the American Jewish relationship to­ fense policy would permit Israel to cut the The Institute was established in 1976 to wards Israel lead to a close personal friend­ vast expenditures for conventional cu_l~ate t~~ud to apply scienti.f'.i~ s_h!_P _ with D~id ~!!:.9_uriop. _ ~ weapons and a large standing army, which are draining her economy. _THE BEST For .fust Pennies A Day

Each week iii the Rhode Island Herald, you'll find editorial views and opinions From the Editor, feature stories from the Jewish Student Press Service (JSPS), news dispatches from the Jewish Tele­ graphic Agency (JTA), recipes for delicious kosher cooking, pages MILLER'S GIVES YOU - devoted to Social Events, Education, and Arts and Entertainment, providing the most complete listing of activities state-wide. MORE FOR YOUR MON.ET

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2 ?.RIDAL SHOWCASE, FEBRUARY 8, 198.1 Traditional Rituals Of A -Bianchi~·----- Jewish Wedding BIANcm CAPTURES THE MOOD OF YOUR MOST IMPORTANT DAY WITH THE ROMANTIC GOWNS ON THE FRONT COVER AND ON OTHER FULL PAGES IN THIS ISSUE. Front Cover: Traditional Bridal Bodice Puff/slender sleeve in &eaded Alencon lace swirls of beads dress the illusion yoke. Bouf­ fant skirt and train in. Summer Satin completely bordered in lace. The headpiece is a. flowered and lace Qarland, tone silk illusion veil. Pa&e 3: The Bride is wearif\C a. .i.own with a deep V'd neckline and short puffs, entire bodice dressed with Swiss a.ppliques. The Grande skirt and train in Silk Orata.nza, scrolls of lace and appliques trim the hemline. Her hat is appliqued with a. Ion& illusion veil. · The Bridesmaid: All--over~rjfandy, slide neckline, ruffles shelter the shoulders, dropped torso controls the full skirt. &a.ck Cover: AU-over beaded Lyon lace, traditional bridal bodice droppinC somewhat on the hipline, full erande skirt and train. Head­ piece is a hora.l bridal wreath with puff back, lont illusion veil. Stores in Rhode Island Chez Moi Bridal Boutique Lucille's Bridal Bristol, R.I. No. Providence, R.I. Bridal Salon by Maryann Bridal Affair Cranston, R.I. No. Providence, R.I. Nina's of Park Ave. Donnelly's Cranston, R.I. Providence, R.I. Helene's Bridal House of Brides E. Providence, R.I. Woonsocket, R .I. . Brides of Boston Bridal Sweet Inc. Warwick, R.I. Cranston, R.I. Brides Showcase Felice Warwick, R.I. Smithfield, R.I. Something Old, Something New Warwick, R.I. Sc~nes from a traditional Jewish wedding: The bride Photos courtesy of &ride m~azine and groom stand beneath the Chuppah. A Klezmer band waits for the service to end before playing their delightful frenzied music. by Robert Israel one of physical and emotional union. A traditional Jewish marriage is a The Chupah joyous and sacred event, approached with During the wedding ceremony, the bride the same solemnity accorded Yorn Kippur and groom stand under the chupah, or and the Sabbath. Although many of the marriage canopy, which represents the traditional rituals are seldom followed litter in which the bride was transported u 1r our rcstau•ar,t today, those who adopt them for their in the long-forgotten days. The bride wedding day have found them deeply wears white, a symbol of purity and, significant and inspirational. according to tradition, a touch of A non-Jewish weddin~ can be mourning (for white is also the color of a performed in the presence of only two burial shroud) for the destruction of the witnesses, and often includes the "giving Temple. The groom also wears a J hite away" of the bride. A Jewish wedding should take place only in the presence of a robe, or kittel, such as is wo rn on Yorn minyan (a quorum of 10). No one "gives Kippur. The chupah must be affixed to the bride away." Following the service, the the top of poles. When the ceremony is bride does not throw her bouquet to her held outdoors, the families or friends of guests, but retreats with the groom to a the bride and groom hold the canopy private room fo r IO minutes to above the couple's heads. ceremoniall y consummate their marriage. The Ceremony T his moment alone, called yichud, is the During the ceremony, the assembled first opportunity the couple has had to eat guests hear the blessing over the wine. The all day, since it is customary for the couple members of the wedding party should to fast before the wedding day. In this stand. In most American weddings. the sense, there is a similarity to Yorn Kippur, bride and groom face the rabbi, who faces the Day of Atonement, when Jews fast to the guests. In Hasidic weddings, it is the have their past sins forgive n. custom for the couple to face their guests. Traditionally, a wedding day is a day of The wedding ring is slipped onto the repentance of past sins and the beginn ing bride's finger. ol' during a double ring of a new life together. ' ceremony, over both the bride and groom's Badeken fingers. It is important to note that the Before the wedding begin$, there is a ring or rings be smooth with no traditional custom called badeken, in ornamentation, to insure a smooth and PLAN YOUR WEDDING WITH which the groom places a veil over his unbroken married life. bride's face . This ceremony takes place in The ketubah is read aloud, and PEOPLE WHO THINK IT'S AS SPECIAL AS YOU DO the rabbi's study or bride's room. In many fo llowing this the seven blessings are cases, it is attended only by the immediate recited. One of these, translated into • Gourmet Caterer • Wedding. Cakes families. En'g lish, is as fo ll ows: The custom of badeken is said to :lave ''Blessed be thou, 0 Lord. our God. King ' THE MARKET TO GO" ori gi nated with Rebekah when she was of the universe. who has created joy and brought to marry Isaac. It is considered to gladness, bridegroom and bride, mirth and Gourmet Cheeses • Desserts • Delicacies, etc be a universal symbol of bridal modesty. exultation. pleasure and delight, love, Ketubah brotherhood, peace and fellowship. Soon The ketubah is a marriage contract and may there be heard in the cities of Judah du ring the wedding ceremony it- is read and in the streets of Jerusalem, the voice aloud. The ke!Ubah is written in Aramaic. of joy and gladness. the voice of the It details the rights and responsibilities of bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the I the newly married couple. A fo lk custom jubilant voice of bridegrooms from their that has been carried into modern times is canopy. and of youths from their feast of I to have a ketubah made by a local artist or song. Blessed be thou. 0 Lord. who makes Convenle~tly situated one block from calligrapher. and in many Jewish homes the bridegroom to rejoice with the bride."" i Oavol Square and two blocks from Rhode one ca n find the ketubah framed and Two cup1 of wine are used during the I · Island Hospltal comple,c. Immediate hanging on the wall. T hey are beautifully ceremony, one for the betrothal ceremony illuminated and decorated documents. I access to Interstate 95 and 195. and a second for the nuptials ceremony. I The ketubah is l't!quired by Jewish law. Two separate cups are usC!d to ensure that It is the document that states the marriage J_ i1 a legal and moral commitment, not just (Continued on pqc 4) I "Blessed be thou, 0 Lord, our: God, King of the universe, who hast created joy and gladness, bridegroom and bride, mirth and exultation, pleasure and delight, love, brotherhood, peace and fellowship. Soon may there be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of joy and gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the jubilant voice of bridegrooms from their canopy, and of youths from their feast of song. Blessed be thou, 0 Lord, who makes the bridegroom to rejoice with the bride."

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L 4 - BRIDAL SHOWCASE, FEBRUARY a, 1986 The Psyehology Of L~ve Traditional Rituals Of A Freud counted the ability to lOve, along unselfishness that is crucial in the success Jewish Wedding with the capacity for work, as a hallmark of a relationship. of full maturity. Yet psychology's study of "Women, traditionally, have been more !,·,1n! i11u,•(I 1"r,1m pagl' 21 In traditional weddi ngs, the newlyweds emotfons has been oddly deficient in the maintainers of relatiqnships than have both ·ceremonies retain their individual continue to celebrate for the next seven examining the nature of love. While such men," Dr. Sternberg comment-eel. "Even identity. days; neither go to wo rk nor even begin feelings as aggression and depression have though sex roles are changing, this still Another custom that is a f(!ature of their honeymoon vacation. They Jive in been the objects of intense research, love seems to be true." traditional Jewish weddings is the circling their new home, and friends and relatives has not. While romantic love has its special of the groom. The brjde walks around the entertain and feed them. This custom is That deficiency has begun to be qualities, Dr. Sternberg finds that the groom either seven or three times in order believed to affnrd the newlywed an remedied, with new research, public different loving relationships in a person's to demonstrate the Biblical verse: opportunity to get adjusted to their new discussion and profession.al reports. Some life have much in common. "Therefore shall a man leave his father surroundings, instead of dashing off to a of the new observations from "There is a basic core of what love is and mother and cleave to his wife and they honeymoon where they might feel psychological research and from the clinic, that is the same in any loving relationship, shall be one flesh." estranged from their community. while perhaps less profound than the whether with a lover or with one's child," When the bride encircles the groom, she insights Of poets. are· nevertheless according to Dr. Sternberg. That core stakes out~ new-relationship in which her surprising and meaningful. includes such elements as being able to husband is now the center of her life and Honeymooners' For example, t he best predictor of how count on the loved one in times of need; her parents - although still respected and satisfied and happy a couple are in a having a mutual understanding and loved - are now in the periphery. As she relationship, according to one recent sharing oneself and one's thing!• with the steps inside the circle and takes her place survival kit study, is not how much or how little the loved one; giving and getting emotional to the groom's righl inside of the symbolic Late in your wedding day you '11 both partners love each other, but rather how support; promoting the welfare of the home, she is carrying out the Biblical drive off with tin cans clanking, while equal their love is. · person, and valuing and being happy when injunction to be "one flesh." friends and relatives pelt your car with rice Also, it may come as a surprise to many with the person. Following the recital of the seven or bird seed for good luck. Alone at last! men - but not to women - that women, "T hese are the things that really seem . blessings, the ceremony concludes with Somehow the breakfast you both missed on average, report loving their best fri ends to matter when it comes to love,'' Or. the traditional breaking of the glass. The for pre-weddingjinen, and reception din­ as much as t.hey do their lovers. And they Sternberg said in an interview. "These groom smashes the glass with his right ner missed for all the dancing and excite­ report liking, as opposed to loving, their qualities of loving are quite general They foot as a reminder of the destruction of the ment of the day, begin to catch up with best friends a bit more than they do their can apply equally to a lover or to your you. Now that the day's events have come child." Temple. In modern weddings, a lightbulb to a close, you find yourselves hungry and lovers. wrapped in a cloth is used because it relaxed for the fint time all day. T hese are among the results reported by "But there are some additional makes a louder smashing sound. Stopping at a restaurant would hardly Robert Sternberg, a psychologist at Yale components that diffe r in each kind of Following the ceremony, the couple seem magical, and even ordering room Unive rsity, who is one of those doing relationship that give love its different moves to a private room for yichud, or a service at the hotel would be another un­ major research on the nature of love. Dr. qualities," he added. "For example, with moment alone. After spending about 10 wanted interruption. Sternberg has undertaken a your parents there's a sense of gratitude minutes or so alone, the couple is free to Ah, but you find a gaily decorated bas­ comprehensive study that uses all the and devotion fo r all they've done fo r you, mingle with guests and the-photographers. ket in you r getaway car en route to the ho­ major measures in order to assess love's while with your children, there's a strong T he meal is begun with the ritual washing tel. A note attached reads: "Food Is essential nature. element of identification - you see of the hands and the recitation of the Love,·· and is signed by a thoughtful When it comes to the success of a yourself in them." In a romantic motzi, generally over a large braided member of the wedding pany who packed romantic love relationship, men and relationship, Dr. Sternberg's research has thesurprise. shown, the single most important variable challah. The basket is filled with all the essential · women for the most part name the same Sbeva Brocbot treats for two famished honeymoonei-s: factors as important, according to a report in how satisfied partners are with the At the conclusion of the meal, the Fresh French bread, cold lemon chicken, a Dr. Sternberg published in the Journal of match is whether they love each other in blessings are r&ited over a cup of wine, ~::_ge of cheese and luscious straWber- Personality and Social Psychology. The roughly equal degrees, not the absolute followed by the Sheva Brochot, or seven single most important element was foun9, amount of love they fee l. Here, he says, the blessings, recited over a second cup of There is sparkling Perrier for pure thirst to be sharing ideas and interests with one's least happy situation is when one loves wine. The wine remaining is mixed que nching, and Lindt bittenweet choco­ lover. Also high on the list was the sense of one's partner much more, or much less, together and the newlyweds then sip from , late truffles for pure indulging. The final growing personally through the than the partner is perceived to love one in it as a symbol of their union. ambrosia is two slices of wedding cake relationship, as was taking pleasure in return . and a split of champagne. The guests are then invited to partake And tucked into the side of the basket is doing things fo r the other person. in the marriage revelry, which includes a small bunch of daisies, because daisies Not of particular importance in the folk dancing, singing and toasts to the don't tell success of a romantic relationship, though, newlyweds with many glasses of wi ne. The were such things as feeling that one's lover newlyweds are often hoisted on chairs has great sex appeal or is seductive, feeling above their guests as part of the the lover to be particularly unique or celebration. feeling that other people would be impressed by one's lover. While the sexes largely agree on what is important for success in romantic love, there were a few differences. One of the mo re striking. Dr. Sternberg finds, is that women, but not men, feel it is their own 1~1 KOSHER CATERll\G

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Bridesmaids' dresses designed to add grace and beauty warehouse to your special day. Both are Intermezza length. Left - All-over Rustle Taffeta, demi cap sleeves, softly gathered skirt. The Finest and Right - 2-piece Chilton touched with Satin, Grecian bodice, softly gathered skirt. Gown.s by lllanc hl Reprinted courtesy of Bride Ma&tu:in.e. Most Complete Flower!i ReDeet Your Style Selection of The flowers you carry on your wedding different flowers that vary in texture, day should be a reflection of your fillers such as baby's breath or Queen Designs ?nd individual style. Look through magazines Anne's lace, and some greens such as ivy and friends' wedding albums fo r ideas on or fern. bouquet shapes and flower combinations. For a traditional, all-white bouquet, Matching Begin interviewing several florists at Gregory J . Suaschick of Hubris G.J.S. Inc. least six months in advance. Ask friends, suggests sweetheart roses, white delight family, and recent brides for lilies, stephanotis, and lily of the valley. Colors .. recommendations. Look at samples of Consider the life of the flowers you each florist's work and check references select. You'll want them to look fresh with previous customers. When a final throughout the day and in photographs. decision is made, be sure everything Jack Follmer of Very Special Flowers promised is in writing. cautions: "Cheaper flowers aren't always a Discuss your iP.eas and budget with each bargain. Orchids may be more expensive For any occasion florist and ask for their suggestions and but worth it because they hold up longer." estimates. Be flexible. "Trust your florist Since you will also be ordering flowers WEDDINGS to know what will work," says Mike for the wedding party, ceremony, and Kreulen of Southflower Market. "Let him reception, ask if a special price package is adapt your ideas into workable solutions." available. Bring a photo or sketch of your dress to Silk and dried flowers are gaining in the florist as well as color swatches of the popularity. Consider combining fresh and maids' dresses. The size of your bouquet silk flowers and having the latter made should be in proportion to the dress style into a "breakaway" bouquet: the concealed and your height. If your dress has a lot of center (bottom trail, if it's a cascade) is BIRTHDAYS lace and beading, consider a simple 1 removable. Long after you've tossed the arrangement. bouquet you'll have a keepsake of this BAR MITZVAHS The basic shapes of bouquets are: special day. ' traditional cascades, nosegays, If a particular flower or color is long-stemmed flowers carried in the arms, unavailable some florists substitute silk or baskets, sprays, or a single flower. dried flowers. Fresh flowers in season are Your bouquet should have at least two less costly than exotic blooms. The Jewi!ih Family WEDDING CHECK LIST Despite the fact that the American The hopeful signs seen by Dr. Heilman • Invitations • Doilies Jewish family is facing challenges that it include: • Place cards, name tags • Guest towels - Soap never had to face before in its history, • "Despite all the pressures and realities there are many reasons to be optimistic that appear to be underm ining the family, • Favors • Ashtrays - (disposable) about its future. That is the opinion of Dr. Jews are still by and large residing within • Plastic champagne and wine glasses • Balloons Samuel Heilman, Professor of Sociology at families and still look upon family life as • Tablecovers • Cen terpieces • Crepe paper streamers Queens College of the City University of one of their most important values. New York. • "There are successful programs trying • Cutlery - fashion colors • White and colored confetti In a well -researched paper prepared for to deal with late marriage, intermarriage, • Guest register - Plume pens • Garlands the Memoria1 Foundation for Jewish conversion, divorce, single-parenthood Culture, Dr. Heilman challenges a number and the aged family. These successes must • Knife and cake server sets • Gift wrap of a.s&umptions made about the Jewish be supported and sustained. • Bridal memories book • Wedding bells and shower umbrellas family, sees hope in certain trends and • "There is also room for optimism in • Toasting glasses for the entire wedding party • Customized printed napkins and matches pinpoints ways in which institutions of the fact that, once married and after the the Jewish community can serve the needs birth of their fi rst child, many Jews are • Ring bearer's pillow • Garters for bride and groom of the Jewish family more effectively. becoming active in Jewish religious and Di&CUSsing four major areas of concern, communal life. regarding the family - marriage, fertility, • "Even many uncommitted Jews really THE ONL y PARTY WAREHOUSE divorce, and patterns of parenting - Dr. want to be actively Jewish. but they either Heilman sees a futu re in which "Jewish do not know how to go about doing so, or 310 East Ave. children born in the la.st quarter of the they have few available options for Jewish 20th century growing number of Jewish expression. Clearly, there is a need for Pawtucket, R.I. families whose lives are focua&ed on Jewish family education." leisure. Never before as a people have Jews Dr. Heilman. who also heads the Jew ish Hours: had to confront this reality. Indeed. they Studies Program at Queens +College. Mon .·Thur. 9:30·6 p.m. seem better at coping with persecution prepared the background paper for the than with lei9ure. They do not know how Memorial Foundation'& 20th Anniversary Fri . 9:30-9 p.m. to tap the senior citizens' vitality for program. which took place in Jerusalem. Sal. 9:30-5 p.m. VISA-MC Jewt9h needs and Jewish involvement." Jewi&h Telegraphic Agency, /985 I ------~~---I I 6 - BRIDAL SHOWCASE, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 Planning Your Jewish Wedding With Options by Robert Israel sundown, or on Sunday at and other questions Herald Editor noon. regarding the menu must be On Your Honeymoon There are a lot of "At the time of the initial asked. pressures on a couple appointment, another "Other questions the planning to get married. In appointment is made with couple should ask when addition to the pressures of the Rabbi at the Temple' meeting with the executive career, life-style and because there are a number director of a Temple," finances, when a couple is of religious questions that Goldberg said, "are what the going to announce their have to be asked before the Temple's policies are toward intention to get married, wedding ceremony can take photographers, the use of they might find themselves place," Goldberg said. video-taping, what time the in a situation where their "Some examples of caterer can deliver food to families are dictating to questions that will be the Temple, and whether them how the wedding explored during the music will be part of the should he, leaving them on conference with the Rabbi ceremony. Some couples the outside. This needn't will concern vows, whether leave the music up to the happen. A couple planning 8. or not the ceremony will-be a Cantor. Others use an Jewish wedding should double ring ceremony, organist or musicians from realize, before the whether or not the ketubah the band during the announcement is made, that will be read and so forth." ceremony. Another they have options available There are a number ol important decision is what to them. helpful books which explore kind of chuppah should be I have attended very the religious significance of used. At Temple Beth-El, formal Jewish weddings, a wedding, and it is we have several different complete with gorgeous recommended that a couple types. Some people like the garlands of flowers hanging consult one of these books chuppah decorated, others from the rafters, the before meeting with the prefer it unadorned." wedding party ' dressed Rabbi. There are two books The executive director of elegantly in tuxedos and available, published by the Temple is prepared to gowns, a four course meal Shocken and Doubleday in explore these questions with and an endless flow of New York, that answer a the couple, but it is helpful if champagne and music. My number of religious Mon.-Sat. 10-9 351-1940 the couple thinks the own wedding was simpler, questions. (Both these Sun. 12-5 Second Floor questions through before the but that was the choice we books are available at the appointment is made. In made: an outdoor ceremony Brown University bookstore other words, the couple on a Sunday afternoon in Providence in the Judaica should decide who the under a chuppah held by our section, or consult the wedding is for - is it for the parents, with friends and library at your synagogue.) parents and their friends, or family gathering afterward The books give a brief will it be for the bride and for dancing, dinner and a history of Jewish weddings groom? wine-punch. and explain the religious "When you decide who is A lot depends, of course, significance of the ketubah, in charge," Goldberg said in on the level of commitment the rings, the chuppah and conclusion, "you'll be able to ·The Look of Love to Judaism, whether the so forth. If you have further figure how many guests will couple is Orthodox, questions, bring them with be coming to the wedding begins at Conservative or Reform, you when you meet with the and whether or not the and whether the couple Rabbi. Temple can accommodate wants to have a synagogue "Once a date for the them. It is also important to wedding or a private wedding is set," Goldberg word the invitation correctly 1 reception. Before making continued, "a contract is and include accurate the announcement, the signed. A couple can expect directions to the Temple for couple should decide where to pay between $250.00 and out-of-town ~sts. Making the wedding will take place. $350.00 for use of the social sure you have the correct If a synagogue wedding is hall at the synagogue. This information from all parties preferred, either the bride or fee is not to make money for you will be utilizing and that the groom usually are the Temple, but rather to the wedding is designed to members of that synagogue, cover expenses of setting up meet the needs of yourself their parents the room, paying for the and your families is the most members. There are custodial help, using the difficult, but the most synagogues that rent their utilities and so forth. rewarding, challenge that social halls out to Working with a budget is awaits you." non-members. Also, if a important because weddings wedding in a private hall is can be very expensive. decided upon, Rabbis must When renting the social Wedding Toasts be consulted in advance to hall, other options for There is only one see if they are not sched\lled consideration are hiring hard-and-fast ru1e to to be out of town or security - Beth-El is attending other functions. If located in the city, and if it remember about toasts at a synagogue is preferred, a is a large wedding and many weddings: the first toast is to couple should call the of those attending will be the bride, proposed by the synagogue and arrange to driving expensiv~ automo­ best man. Other toasts to the bride's mother by the groom, make an appointment with biles, security might be in the executive director far in order. We can also arrange to the bridesmaids, etc., are advance of the wedding. The to have a coat-check person nice but not necessarily "musts." executive directo,r will then on hand and so forth. Also, proceed to help you plan when a couple plans a your wedding. wedding with us, we also set Wedding Lore For this report, I a date for a rehearsal and we Rabbinic literature consulted Robert Goldberg, will provide the names of contains extensive rules executive director of Temple bands, caterers and florists governing a bride's trousseau Beth-El in Providence, we've done work with in the and wedding expenses. asking him what a couple past, should a couple request · Because the sages recognized planning to be married at this information." the potential for Temple Beth-El will When choosing a caterer, extravagance in wedding experience. a couple should first find out preparations, they "At Temple Beth-El, what the policy of the encouraged moderation. But which is a Reform synagogue is regarding they regarded as holy the synagogue, the parents of kashruth. Beth-El, for raising of funds for poor the couple or the bride example, does not require brides. and/ or groom have to be the caterer be a kosher members of the caterer, but other congregation in order to be synagogues in the area do married here," Goldberg require that the caterer be said. "At Temple Beth-El, kosher. Also important in we consider a marriage a choosing a caterer is to find Jewish occasion and that a out what comes with' the Jewish ceremony will take price and what is extra. How place. much does it cost for the I "The first step a couple caterer to coordinate the I will do is to call and make an table settings and linen, or I appointment with me. should the couple consult I Together we'll decide on a someone else for that date and then I'll check to service? At this time, a I see if there are no contlicta menu can be planned and I at the Temple on that date. decisions regarding UM! of I In the Jewish religion, a liquor must be determined. person cannot be married Does the couple want to during the Sabbath. have an open bar or just a I Weddings take place either wine or champagne tout :'- Saturday night. aft.er after the ceremony? These r

Wedding gowns for you and your bridesmaids that are lit for a princess! Seated: The bride is dressed in a lovely gown highlighted by a sweetheart neckline, with eye-catching PROFESSIONAL VIDEOTAPING full puffs, the bodice in beaded Alencon lace somewhat SERVICES grazing the hipline. The full bouffant skirt in Peauette is Along with your formal still photography, video can bring to hfe the appliqued w ith blossoms. excitement of that day for you to share and reltve with others as time The hairpiece is a bridal mantilla edged in lace . 9oes on . even your children Standing: Accompanying this vision of delight is a. bridesmaid dressed in a romantic gown with a slide neck ... line with short sleeves, semi princess silhouette, a.11--over embroidered organza with sweep train. Headpiece: Rose budded bridal wreath with luttuchini ribbons. Go wns by Bia.n c hi Repr int e d courte sy of Bride Ma.ta.zin e .

Brides ... · The great bands are novv appearing daily ...wi ll love our fi ne collection of lingerie for their very special troussea us. The discriminating at Tilden Thur5er shopf)er is sure to ap preciate the style and quality. .. as well a s our discounted p rices.

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Left to right: Florentine, diamond-cut design, me n's - $108, ladies' -$95; Florentine, plain, men's - $60, ladies' - $55; Beaded edge, men's - $65, ladies' - $60; Plai n, ladies - $55; Ten channel-set diamonds, lad ies-$275. Wedding bands available in 14k yellow or white gold. Tilden· ··~Thurber 1800 Plozo - Minero ! So~ng A~ue. ~ Prc,.,k:lerce. m/ J5J.877l Westmin ster M.1 1\ • Wayl.:ind Squ,:1re • Midl,:1nd M,:1 11 • Newport HOurs Do,ty 1D-6/T hur,doy 1, 19/ Saludav 'Ill 5 30/Vl9CI/M0$!81Cord 8 - BRIDAL SHOWCASE, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 Many modern wedding customs Sensibk suggestions help originated in the Victorian era control wedding costs At royal and society weddings, six or help the bride with assembling the trous­ eight bridesmaids were necessacy to help seau and planning the details of the wed­ Like everything else in these inflation­ are that this is changing toward a sharing carry the elaborate train of the bride"s ding. ary days, getting married can be expen­ of the expenses by the two families. dress. Even at less flamboyant weddings, Bridesmaids are no longer needed to aid the weight of the bride's clothes necessi­ in the uncomfortable donning of the cor­ sive. A wedding includes items such as a The groom's family often offers to bridaJ dress, flowers and a reception, not tated at least one attendant to help maneu­ set , and in IIl.ost cases the bride's 1rain cover specific expenses - for example, ver her gown, and of course she needed trails gracefully behind her as she walks to mention photography, music and a hon­ the flowers, the music and the liquor. eymoon trip. When you add ii aJI up, that assistance with the pre-wedding dressing down the aisle. one special day can cost a lot. Or. the two families might decide that in order to accomplish the drastic corset­ Rather than serving as ladies in waiting, one will pay for the ceremony (flowers, ing that was in vogue during the Victorian today 's bridal attendanL<; are chosen by the Bui does it have to cost more than you church rental, limousines), and the othe• and Edwardian periods. bride as special friends whom she wants to can afford? According to Barbara Tober, will pick up the reception tab. have standing with her on her day. Editor-in-Chief of BRIDE'S Magazine, it Then, as now, the maid of honor would doesn't and it shouldn't. "The wonderful thing about weddings is that they can take so many different fonns," she says. · How to do it estive wedding re­ Mrs. Tober feels that no couple should F miss out on a wedding because they think ceptions and elegant they can't afford it. Here are some tips for making sure that costs don't get out of luncheons and dinners hand . The right person. are part of a time-honored • Set priorities early on. Do this by finding out what a wedding in your area The right time.' tradition at the Biltmore actually costs and then deciding what you must have, and what you can sacrifice or Plaza spend less on. Now, die perfect We take great pride One strategy is to go all out on one or two things that will make your wedding place. in tailoring our many ser- unique and economize on the rest. For example, al your reception you vices to fit your individual might serve your guests a full sit-down dinner, but limit the music to a single The Biltmore needs, and our expert staff strolling musician and choose only in-sea­ son, and therefore less expensive, flowers. Plaza. will give personal atten- • Or, for an afternoon wedding, you'. could scale down the meal to simple finger tion to each and everyde- sandwiches but splurge on the most mem­ orable wedding cake you can find. tail of ysiur wedding plan. • Try, whenever possible, to get the look you want without full COS!. For exam­ Take your choice of three tastefully appointed ban­ ple, the lushness of a country club garden wedding might be duplicated at much less quet rooms-the Grand Ballroom, the Garden Room, or expense in a city park. 1lle same basic style wedding dress can the,Bacchante Room And celebrate the wedding you've cost anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars depending on the always dreamed of with the people you love most fabric and other fine points of design. Make your wedding plans ferfect at the Biltmore. • Stan your wedding planning early. This is aJways a good idea, but doubly so when money is a factor, because you'll ..RTT 'T'MQiOE Cal _421-0700andask have the time to shop around and find the ~L..L ~ forJ1mMcDonnell. best prices or single package-price.

Comparison shopping tips 'PL'i\~ A DUNFEY HOTEL Don't be afraid to tell a prospective ca­ terer, florist or whatever, that you 're com­ Kennedy Plaza, Providence, RI 02903, (401) 421-0700 parison shopping and taking-bids. He may try a little harder to get your business. • Shopping early also helps you avoid the pitfall of paying higher prices by de­ fault: You won't have to take a reception hall or a honeymoon suite that's out of your price range just because everything else is booked solid. • Carefully read any contract you sign to avoid budget-draining rip-offs. Watch out for agreements that say they'll take care of everything. Will there really be no extra hidden costs?

Consider contingencies

Find 001 answers to tht!!"whaMfs" too. What if you want the band 10 play another hour? A dozen more four-color prims made? • Finally, consider reducing the burden of wedding cosls by redistributing them. It 's traditional in 1his country for the bride's parents to foot the whole wedding bill but, according to Mrs. Tober, all signs

., .._ ..,,... __.:.~.:.:.:.;._;__••••. : .••. • ··-····-• I ______------··-·····------BRIDAL SHOWCASE, FEBRUARY 8, 1886 - 9 Sharing Experienees The one who had Ten Rules for Women, violence of her personality." And: "Look beginning: " If she doesn't go for you she The second time it was more a matter of at the grass - all this orderly composure, by Susan Edmiston doesn't go for you.'' And: "Never go back. gesture. The mailbox crammed with all these smooth stalks, and then, ruffled Sometimes a man tells you one thing, It will always be the same." What was Valentines. Candy thrown through the like rhubarb, a caravan passing through." just one thing, and he's got you. It's as if · charming was that he always broke all his he's cracked a code. The fragment appears open window , clattering to the fl oor, as And enlarged forever the way you saw. rules. And when he went back it was Others were lovable even when they to represent an entire universe. He says when Akhmatova, finding Modigliani not different. at home, scattered red roses in his studio. were leaving; they saved their best lines for something and you think: "That's it. The one who was a psychiatrist and who The time you were window-shopping last. That's where I want to live." On the basis sa id: "A good relationship is like a good ski when he said, "Wait here," and returned, The one who said: "You're beautiful and of a sli m remark the mind fabricates a . binding. It holds you tight enough but not universe as an anthropologist induces a like some fairy tale Fitzgerald prince, you're brilliant and you're hilarious, but too tight. It represents a compromise it's not enough!" • man from an ankle bone. A friend once fell bea ring a glittering ring. The between holding you and releasing you so understatement, so close to the edge most The one who said, "I know not to say in love with a man who said to her: no permanent damage is done. Like a ski "Remember, if you eve r go to India, a people didn't get it. To say nothing of the yes is to say no," and won your friendship binding, a relationship also requires forever. Brahman eagle is the same as a understanding. periodic adjustment to reflect the terrain, Their words did not embody the dream, Pondicherry kite." That's the way it was. the state of the art and your skill in That's the way it sometimes happened. In between there were all the others, the or the dream they made was fleeting, sk iing." evanescent. Or perhaps it was that you The first time I really fell in love he told ones where it didn't quite happen. But Once there were two who spoke in just weren't ready. After all, to choose one me a story from Herodotus. The story was nevertheless there were other kinds of similar cadences. was to lose all the others. And each was an about the dream that came to Xerxes, the moments, other kinds of love. The words One said, handing me four things he'd adventure, an education. Or perhaps it King of Persia, telling him to invade that were pretty or witty that sent you, if written: was, as Melville said, "the intrepid effort Greece, and about how to tell a true dream not into love , at least into rapture. "This will tell you about me, from a lying dream. This was a question of the soul to keep the open independence The one who said, " It's the sushi chef "This will tell you how well I can write. of her sea." that perpetually perplexed the ancients antipode of your Oriental personality," as "This will tell you how imaginative I Then things started to change. In the and from then on was to puzzle me. His he watched you chop shallots. And you am. great crises of life you wanted to be with story was as potent as the dream, drank white wine and simmered and "And this. will tell you how I can't put it launching as lengthy an invasion. someone. You needed someone on your shimmered and cooked. all together." side. There were things you had to do you The other, putting the record on the could not do alone. You needed someone turntable, said: always, not intermittently, someone who BARBARA McAULEY " In the first movement the composer is knew you so well he could hear the sound showing off all he knows about music. below the superficial static, could stay Beauty Consultant " In the second how deeply he feels, tuned to the essential you. " In the third what a good sense of The words started to sound different; '2Jf.,, 0b & gJwg,.,., cl,,~..,,/, humor he has. the dream came closer, gathering on the , "And in the fourth how glad he is that horizon, beginning to rise. You began to

For ease & elegance there's nothing like a great caterer. You'll never want to cook again. Please call us for an appointment.

I 13 MEMORIAL BOULEY ARD WEST, NEWPORT, R.I. 861-0760 846-4794

Featured in Town & Cou ntry Magazine, December 1984 I

Jewelry gifts for the wedding party for that special day

. For brides and grooms, wedding plans and earrings; include the selec1ion of gifts fo r each • Large gold and colored stone ring; other, th eir families and their close ~riends, and jewelry is the number one gift • Diamond pin. item exchanged on this special day The fathers-in-law-to-be also deserve Jewelers of America (JA), the national something special : association of retail jewelers across the • Cufflinks; country, would like to offer suggestions to • Studs; the bride and groom on buying fine jew­ • Gold and diamond ring; elry for the special people who are close to • Gold watch; them. • Collar pin. Bridal couples often exchange gifts to For the maid of honor, some gifts in- ~ommemorate their marriage, and the clude: items they choose for each other are worn • Colored sione ring; during the wedding. • Pearl bracelet. The groom should take into consider­ Some suggestions for bridesmaids• ation the style ofhiS bride's wedding dress gifts: when choosing something "new" she can • Gold chain necklace or bracelet; wear that day. For example, a strand of • Freshwater pearl necklace or brace­ pearls with a scoop-neck wedding dress, a let; gold bracelet on a bare arm, diamond ear­ • Lapel pins in gold or silver; rings, the discreetly elegant watch all • Colored stone earrings or pendant in complement a wedding dress. bridesmaid's birthstone; Some gift suggestions for the bride: • Gold hoop earrings; • ChamlS with wedding date; • A strand of cultured pearls, choker or • Watch in new vibrant color; princess length(IS"); •Wall clock. • Sapphire or ruby earrings; For the best man, couples can consider: • Gold or diamond bracelet; • Signet ring; • Locke1; • Credit card case; • Diamond srud earrings; • Pocket watch. • Gold and diamond thin walch. For ushers, popular gift ideas are: For the Groom: • Pen and pencil sets; • Cufflinks in gold with onyx are the • Key chains; mos1 popular gift; • Cufflinks; • Pocket watch with gold chain; • lie pins, or persooalized 1ie tacks; • Gold tie clasp; • Cigarette lighters; • Belt buckle; • Collar bars; Create long--lasting memories with this Irish linen gown. • Gold watch; • Gold chain or bracelet; • Gold cigarette lighter; • Money clip; highlighted with Dutch lace inserts, a slide neckline lead• • Money clip; •Mustache comb; ing into puffs, complemented with a satin sash. • Gold and diamond tie pin; • Desk clock; Gown by Bianchi Reprinted courtesy of Bride M acazin.e. • Sruds in gold or in onyx to ma1ch cuff­ • Travel alann. links. For a couple ·s wedding gift plans, a lo­ The mother of the bride and the mother cal jeweler is the bes! source for advice on of the groom will be glowing with pride buying mementos of jewelry for familv during the ceremony. For such a special and friends on their wedding day. He can occasion, many couples or adoring hus­ show a wide selection of gifts in all price bands will give them a remembrance they ranges to suit all tastes and can provide can wear that day: . service and convenience. • Double strand of culrured pearls with To learn more about fine jewelry. cou­ a diamond clasp; ples can obtain Jewelers of America ·s bro­ • Gold and diamond necklace and chures by writing to Jewelers of America. bracelet set; Department CS, 127 1 Avenue o f the • Diamond and colored s1one bracelel Americas. New York. NY 10020.

Wedding Plans? JEWELRY GIFTS FOR HER FOR THE WEDDING Why not make them over a leisurely --~--7~~-.·. -~ lunch or dinner at-Hose Co. 6? If . _ .• ~ , • - .,·r you plan to have an informal bridal .... --· luncheon, call us for reservations. We'll gladly accommodate your party

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636 Central Ave., Pawtucket J.9;, North. E1it 2 A. Newport Ave., P•..-t..clid, 1-96 South, E1lt 2 A, Nt""J)Ort Ave ., Purtuchl, 726-3610 •I third liJht, t um right on Cent.,al Ave., \4o miJ. on rifht JEWELRY GIF1.'S FOR HIM FOR THE WEDD1!'4G BRIDAL SHOWCASE, FEBRUARY S. 1885 t I Once-in-a-lifetime memories that will Choosing A Speeial Honeymoon evening. It isn't ea,y to fmd last fo rever begin at the special place you accommodations during the high season if choose for your idyllic honeymoon Do you share the same love for sports as about horseback riding through lush valley you simply "drop-in." getaway. So put your hearts and heads you share for each other? Tennis is played trails in autumn? Dreamt of strolling Think about rafting on a river, being together, and muse, dream, and talk about almost everywhere, day and night. through technicolored gardens in bathed by waterfalls, or finding a silent everything and anything you'd like to do Championship golf courses are carved springtime? Or pictured yourselves cove on a tropical island for your own during this very special time in your life. around the sea and through lush valleys all schussing down a powdery ski slope in private picnic. Or how about a mu1titrip, The world is your oyster - filled with over the world. Skiers can follow winter? where you visit different destinations? romanc·e and free of incumbrances. This is snow-kissed trails down towering In the evening, you also have a wide The best way to make sure your the first time you will spend together as mountains in different parts of the world variety of choices. Would you prefer to honeymoon is a success, is to do your , Mr. and -Mrs. - you should plan your all year. dance under the stars in a tropical setting, homework. Planning can make your honeymoon as carefully as your wepding. There are special areas for water sports disco until dawn, or be entertained by dreams come true. T here's no doubt that Do you want an action-packed vacation - with scuba diving, sn0rkeling, and • top-name performers? You won't be you'll come to a mutual decision on a with activities around the clock? A chic windsurfing as the highlights. Or you gambling with your future, but if slot honeymoon spot that's just perfect for two resort where the elite play? A luxury cruise might want to try your hand at reeling in a machines and rou1ette wheels have appeal, in love to claim as your own. to a varietvaf sun-kissed isles? A cottage prize game fish. If any of these sports choose a casino resort. in the mountains or at the edge of the sea? appeal to you both, you can honeymoon in If you decide to discover special places Or an enchanting capital city where a resort where they're featured. on your own, and explore the wilderness, history, shopping, and gourmet Have you ever thought about rowing you can rent a car, or drive your own, but Reprinted from Modern Bride, Dec. restaurants abound? across a quiet lake in summer? Talked make sur~ to headquarter early_ in the _ 1984/Jan. 1985

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Fully equipped with editing facilities for a professional job. FOR OUR VALUED NEWLYWEDS $~ WE HAVE VIDEOTAPED OVER 350 WEDDINGS CALL I Customer satisfaction guaranteed. $ AND RECEIVE A I s5o~~~~FT CE~!!!!~AT~ ___J 12 - BRIDAL SHOWCASE, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 What is missing in orgasm alone is the tensions are low, it typically is the Love At First Sight psychological baggage of love, which husband who plays the role of managing brings to the union a set of inner meanings negative fee li ngs. The wife will say that resonate with the lovers' deepest Differe nt Insight "the increased sexual temptations that go something negative, and he'll respond in a identifications, confl icts and fa ntasies. An entirely different sort of insight into with increased sexual freedom are positive way, keeping things from Passion in sexual love, in his view, is the escalating. These husbands have a the nature of passionate love was offered redirected into the couple's sexual life." If result of a unique facet of mature loving at a recent conference sponsored by the so, their sex life can be a major source of marvelously gentle way of deflecting their relationships: the crossing of Columbia University Center for stability even in the face of conflicts in wives' negative feeli ngs. psychological boundaries between oneself Psychoanalytic T raining and Research in other areas. "But when things fla re up, it's the wife and one's lover. The sense of becoming one New York. Love. of course, has its pathologies. Dr. who takes the crucial role in managing Among the observations offered there Kernberg, writing in The Journal of the with the loved person, while things," Dr. Gattman added. " Husbands was that passion - an intimate sexual American Psychoanalytic Association, ·simultaneously retainipg one's sense of don't seem as flexible as wives when abandon - amid the conventional describes a continuum in people's ability oneself, generates a feeling of fee lings are intense; for example, men in transcendence. - responsibilities of matrimony can provide to fa ll and remain in love that ranges from both happy and unhappy marriages tend This same sense of transcendence, in "an internal wildness that preserves severe problems to simple to respond to anger with anger. In happy becoming one with the lover, can, marriage," in the · words of Dr. Otto misunderstandings. marriages, though. the wives are able to paradoxically, add to love a poignant Kernberg, and eminent psychoanalyst. The roots of that mystery, Dr. Kernberg switch to a de-escalating response during On the other hand, sexual in hibition has written, can be seen in ch ildren's feeling of loneliness and longing at the intense conflicts. resulting from guilt is "a major source of "intuition of an exciting, gratifying and frailty of such relationships, in Dr. " In unhappy marriages, there is an Kernberg's view. boredom in otherwise happy_couples," Dr. forbidden relationship that links the interlocking of negativity, which neither Kernberg said at the conference. parents and excludes the child, and their Emotional maturity is no guarantee of a husband nor wife seem able to T hat inhibition "limits a couple to longing for and excitement about couple's stabili ty, Dr. Kernberg cautions. de-escalate," he said. "The couple get conventional standards which stifle forbidden knowledge - particularly The complication is that as people change. caught in a pervasive negative arousal passion," said Dr. Kernberg. sexual knowledge." the psychological grounds for the pattern, which interferes with their ability Overcoming guilt" and inhibition, and "T-he experience of orgasm," Dr. relationship are continually renegotiated. to think of a new response. They get sometimes successfully, sometimes not. locked into a negative cycle where they fall the subsequent sexual freedom, according Kernberg writes, "does not by itself to Dr. Ke rnberg, can be salutary, provided represent sexual passion." If emotional maturity is no guarantee back on an overlearned, automatic and that a relationship will work out, what negative response. which locks them into a does matter? destructive cycle." Negative Feelings There is a certain symmetry in the FREE tuxedo "Marriages can rise or fall on how complaints made by husbands and wives couples handle negative feelings," in the in unhappy marriages. Dr. Gattman view of John Gattman, a psychologist at reported. Wives, he finds. complain that rental for the t:he University of Illinois, who has been their husbands are too withdrawn; studying marital satisfaction. husbands complain that, their wives At the annual meeting of the American complain too much, which may make the groom in parties Psychological Association last summer, husbands withdraw more. Dr. Gattman reported that in loving The most loving couples in Dr. couples, the husband and wife each play a Gottman·s study discussed their conflicts of five or more. crucial, but distinctly different, role in and disagreements during moments of managing negative emotions. The key calm. not during arguments. interaction revolves around handling }{,ts feeling such as anger. One reason women more readily l•H§U#+li·tGI In un happy marriages. perhaps confront their spouses than do men. Dr. ,Y\IN®URl:Nf understandably, there is more open Gattman asserts, has to do with the expression of negative feelings such as different health consequences of negative anger, fear, disgust and sadness, Dr. emotions for each sex. He reported data Gott man reported. Moreover, these showing that marital arguments are more feelings. once expressed, are reciprocated damaging to the husband's health than to ~i[~U{~ \\Nn11 more often. Loving marriages, though, the wife's. have a very different pattern when it "Since marital arguments are morE: comes to managing emotions. punishing for men than for women, men "Happy couples are characterized by the are more conciliatory." Dr. Gattman said. after ability to de-escalate conflicts," Dr. "They have more to gain from trying to ~~~ Six.' Gattman said in an interview. "When head off arguments than do their wives." PROVIDENCE WARWICKWE$T Mll>DLETOWN J:ilSOOTHr.lAINST/,11 -762:i J60LlSIAVl./!.1!-5JOO 9S7W!SIMAIHIIOAO IOPf'OSITT IOYSRUS) l'IIOVIDENCE lllOAIWHLSAVl

-ITPIJV

by Susan Higgins the diverse characteristics of their It is a question that plagued the spouses. "Problems arise when one cients, sages and mystics and J think it partner tries to make the other person )rtb repeating. It is one of the questions more like themselves. at has plagued mankind and Tom "There are so many things I would like obbins attempted to answer in his book, to tell couples before they get married, but !ill Life With Woodpecker. I think it is an so often I don't think they are ready to 11portant issue for anyone contemplating hear it." Marwil feels timing is crucial in 1arriage. It is the question of making love receiving information and many couples ay. feel her words are not relevant to them. Rising divorce statistics cast dark When two people are excited and in love, badows on the dream of falling in love Marwil feels they sometimes lack the nd living happily ever after. Romantics ability or desire to comprehend that re out of style; indeed the realities of love marriige takes hard work and .re chronicled in our modem day fairy commitment. ales such as Dynasty and Dallas, where Each partner needs to realize when they :ouples have trouble maintaining a encounter a problem they should talk :ommitment from one commercial break about it. "It's important to make the time ;o the next. to sit down and talk about what is going Still individuals gaze into each other's on with the other person." Marwil is eyes and pledge their undying devotion to insistent on this point. Couples need to be one another. They express the desire to direct and not assume the other person unselfishly bequest their most precious can read their mind. "You can't be angry gift to the chosen one: a lifetime of love. if the other person doesn't know what you I talked with Ivy Marwil, A.C.S.W., want or what makes you f£el good if you Clinical Director at the Jewish Family haven't expressed it." Marwil regrets this Service in Providence. I wanted to hear is a common disappointment. , some good news. In spite of some rather Robbins sees it this way. "Love is t he unencouraging statistics Marwill noted ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to that perhaps the most important positive any rules. The most any of us can do is to indicator of a successful marriage may be sign on as its accomplice. Instead of the couples determination to succeed. She vowing to honor and obey, maybe we says she has never counseled a couple should swear to aid and abet." contemplating marriage who have "For couples who have lived together cancelled their wedding plans. "I've been for many years, marriage may bring little very surprised, by this because I've ,seen cjiange to their relationship and their couples who faced tremendous conflicts. identity." Marwil feels for others the first But perhaps couples who seek help from a year may be marked with adjustments in therapist, also share a commitment to defining the new roles and identities and each other and are willing to put some determining a balance of closeness. This Bridal: La dolce sposa in this precious sweetheart open effort into making their marriage work. is a healthy period of adjustment. Still neckline extendine, into the bias-laced short sleeves. Entire When a couple comes to me they are each couple's experience will be different. bodice in delicately beaded Alencon lace, and borders the really saying they want to confront and People bring different expectations to hemline and sweep train. resolve their problems or they would have the marriage. Marwil notes, "Some just broken the relationship off." couples have a higher tolerance for Headpiece: Turn•up•back picture hat of or11anza In addition to this, Marwil feels there problems. Maybe they saw their parents crowned with matchinll lace, lonll and lovely illusion veil. are other positive traits that characterize struggle and feel it's o.k. to go through it. Govn\ by r.1a_nchi Reprinted courteay ol &ride Mqu:lne. a successful marriage. Both partners must They don't expect to have a perfect practice good communication, and marriage. I've seen people who can go on honesty. Each person must be willing to disagreeing for years. Other people decide work, to compromise, and grow and it is not worth it and want to discontinue WEDDING TENTS change. Marriage is a continual process; the relationship. when one partner moves the other must "Couples need to learn how to listen iN AVARIETYOFSIZF.SANDCOLOBS adjust. Remaining static or stagnant is and respond to each other. Everyone surely toxic to a relationship. needs positive feedback. Each must tell AL'!O CANOPIES, DANCE FLOOBS, TABLES A CBAIBS According to Robbins, some people lack the other 'This feels good,' or 'I appreciate the imagination and generosity it takes to this,' or 'thank you.' Respect the other keep a marriage alive. Short-sightedness person and don't take him or her for has killed many well-intentioned unions. granted. Just as it is easy to criticize, it's Ultimately the responsibility for o.k. to emphasize the good," Marwil fulfillment must come from inside each emphasizes. person. We crave the mystery of another, So after all the opinions have been .. and discard the lover who is discovered . voiced and analyzed, you might ask is not to be perfect. Robbins feels we should there a definitive, decisive, authorit.a,tive, work to create the perfect love instead of enlightened path to follow to make love searching for the perfect fanta.ay. · st.ay? I can only tell you this. There are Marwil feels we must accept the lots of positive signs that indicate one can I challenge to understand the differences indeed make love st.ay. Perhaps more and uniqueness of the other person. importantly I would hate to live in a world "Each person comes from a totally , where it wasn't possible. Now if only we different family, bringing values, dare to wish a little harder and make it idiosyncrasies, beliefs, and opinions to a come true, well, I think anything can DOLORES de MEDEIROS ~ marriage. Both people must appreciate h~ppen. I Contempor1;1ry wedding: i traditional, not old-fashioned! "Who gives this woman in marriage") has COAT~ UNLIMITEDI , 1ne word for weddings today is "tradi­ tional." Anyone who attends a nuptial also changed with the times. Today, a I980s-style can see why right away. The couple might rewri1e the question 10 read. barefoot-in-the-park ceremonies of the "Who blesses this marriage," with both I 960s and '70s have disappeared as com• ; ~~~~'.sand sroom·s parc.nts answering · pletcly as flower children and love beads. Elegant clothes, age-0\d ritual and a spirit 1ne same ki!,)d of thinlcing has likewise of of nostalgia arc the rule. revised the idea of who pays for a wed· ding. Traditionally, the bride's parenls Designer and Better Quality shouldered the whole bill. Fewer "rules .. of etiquette plus a cli• "But for lhe firs! time," says Mrs. Pantcoats and Coats mate that favors personal expression have Tober, "there's a definite trend toward the led couples to add their own creative touch. "But today's indivktuality is very ~,t~f:::::s cc~~~~ r~:i::~ is different from the 'do your own thing' for some families means everyone has to brand of the last decade,·· says Mrs. chip in for there to be a wedding at all. Arriving Daily Tol,c,. Bui i1's also a sign of the times. A Couples don·t throw out the whole ccre• bridc·s parents are no longer considered to Sizes Petite to 16 mony and start rrom scratch; they must be "marrying ofJ" their daughter. Rather, change or add linle things. For eumpk, the wedding is seen as a joining of two they have their own special music played, people and lwO families . SALE! have a little girl inst.ea:! ofa boy as a ring bearer, orpasoutprintedccrcmony ''pro­ Finally, t.quality means a new role in the grams ... wedding for today's groom. In the past, a Winter Savings - Modem weddings also break with the 1 past over the ideal of equality. Today's i:::~ .~i~;~;.!!~~:r!i:i ;1:.rs~~I; Beautiful Selection take granled that his wedding too! bride may be dtes5od in a demure tum-0f• for it's the-century style, but that isn 't necessarily Grooms have new responsibilities: indicative of her approach to marriage. Th?; help pick the wedding site, choose SAVE e SAVE For example, becauae couple after couple decided that ritual phrases such as " love, ~~: c .r;:; =~~~~;t:~ ~~ honor and obey" and " man and wife " jus1 larger share of the limelight: Some men 326 NO. BROADWAY, EAST PROVIDENCE, RI 02916 didn 't fit anymore , these phrases have wear engagement rings , appear with the Ja,gely disappeaffd. fiancees in newspaper aMouncements, 434-2339 The '" gjvinc:away" (aputofaomecer· and even have showers thrown in their Mon. thru S at. 1 0 -B p m , • Friday 1 D ·B p .m . emonies in which the celebranl asks . hooor. 14 BRIDAL SHOWCASE, FEaRUARY 8, 1985 To create for that one particular bride, About The House Of Bianehi the most magnificent gown, which is History of Veils The House of Bianchi has been fo r perfection is quite another, especially for her greatest moment, and which the la.st thirty-five years the foremost when one considers the many must be the setting to enhance the thousands of gowns that are made to be natural radiance which shines so In 15th century Europe, creator of bridal fashion in the United the weddini veil, a gift from States. From their headquarters in shipped all over the United States and brightly from her on this day. abroad. To insure that each dress is the groom, was always made Boston have come each season deslgns with spun gold. Gold was which have been the pacesetters of the made exactly as the vision in the designer's mind, The House of Bianchi Wedding ~ymbols later removed from the veil b~dal industry. as a sign f.lf mourning over The Bianchi gown is . . . "The has perhaps the most modern Why do we throw shoes computer-directed manufacturing the destruction of the Couture" of the bridal market ... for after the bride? Probably it ' Temple in Jertisalem. In · each design is shaped with the finest of facility in the country. Here the many dates from the ancient departments of skilled craftsmen - Middle East, where men Near Eastern countries, detail in magnificent fabrics. ·T he Jewish brides have long construction of a gown, which basically headpieces and veiling - origirial hand would exchange their beading with that great Italian touch sandals to symbolize the worn community-owned takes six to eight yards of fabric, is headdresses, lavishly individually thought out so that its - handmade flowers - special design exchange of property. So rooms to handle exquisite lace, shoes signify transfer of embroidered with beads, entire architecture is sculptured to coins and decorative chains. perfection, regardless of fab ric. Each appliques, and re-embroidered laces - authority from the bride's silhouette is given the totaJ look these many departments, some father to her husband. encompassing its own headpiece and practicing very ancient crafts, are veil, all scaled to a perfect balance, coordinated by a modern computer to complementing the overall gown. insure that every piece reaches it's Shaping luxury fabrics, oft.en proper place in a gown and is precisely unadorned, are masterpieces of couture as created by the designer. designing that only Bianchi can give. Each season with great bustle and To produce magnificent designs is excitement th-e new designs are created. one thing; to manufacture them to It is a challenge that Bianchi loves -

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.B"111ot l-lP.Ollp;u,,J rw1, AeHMo-tiRA lO gel sal ity _rk4;g,w/, '-'P~ fO'ft goal gel fall ,nd The aura of the .youth and ,es ,an virtue hal .,.n; . originally ,es associated with the D,. a bride's veil els persists to this of day. Nothing &ridesma.id: A ti_meless impression of innocence and ,ily love. Radiant in French pleating designs, the degarge neck· ) ,. adds more to line and full puff sleeves enhance the look of beauty. Accen• .he tuated by a full sash which controls the lntermezza length ive the bridal ,ta skirt, all•over La Champagne. · m vision than this Bridal: Visions of flowers. The bride is wearing Summer lO Satin and La Champagne designed to inspire reveries. The tradition. vision is further accentuated by lovely roses dropped here "',en and there. id. The final complement is an open floral bonnet with long lO • Bridesmaid Headpieces • Shoes Appliqued illusion veil. • Flower Girl Hairpieces & Baskets • Ring Pillows Gowns by IU~nchi Reprinted courtesy ol Bride Ma,..u:ine.

Professional make-up artist for photographic session and wedding day. (in the privacy of your horii.e) Becky Brosco Caruso (formerly of Kirk's Folly) B!J App...... t946-2824 E~~ I ~OverThe FOR THE DISCRIMINATING BUYER OF FINE J'EWELRY! ... COME TO fflE SOURCE.•. P _Holidays'? C.J.8STALKIEWICZ ~(ff~~ "Co~ratulations! /I THE PERFECT . WEDDING RING Our expert anO professional caterinq staff and servers Y011 wedding ring should be like yow marriage, are ready to assist you in planninq every phase of your tnQUe. 0., jewelers wl custom desv'I a ring weddinll ... from bridal showers to your rehearsal dinner jJlt for you. And. they wl do so at a price MS to that PEQFECT weddin~ reception. We.II help you than what you would pey for an or

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• Features • Stories • Fashions • Pictures FRIDAY, MARCH 1, 1985 Phone Kathi Wnek, Advertising Director 724-0200 SPECIAL! FRIDAY, MARCH 22, 1985 Identify yourself as a woman in business in the

R.I. HERALD's EDITION OF "WOMEN IN 8USIN~SS" 18 BRIDAL SHOWCASE, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 Getting a head start on 7 honeymoon hair care

Looking for versatile honeymoon hair- like. To make it even curli er, use a curling styles that are appropriate for longer hair? iron. With straight hair you'll probably You' U want to look your best with the least have to hold each curl for a longer time, possible fuss during this happy but busy and be even more careful abou1 getting the time. Why not experiment with all the al­ very ends onto !he barrel. ternatives, from piling it all on top of you r Since for longer hair you need styling as head to drying curly hair straigh1er? To create looser curls, towel dry fjrst, ;:~ r!v~rin!ie arrs l:=~~·~!~t :e~ then blow dry sections of hair from the all in one unit. The unique new Norelco roots to the ends while pulling hair straight Satin convertible has a single pc,.ve r han­ with your hand or a styling brush. dle that operates a 1200-watt turbo hair By pulling more firmly you'll stretch dryer and also heats up separate chrome the curl for a straighter, longer look. You barrel curling iron and curling brush at­ can put some curl back where you want it tachments. Just switch attachments as with a curling iron or brush. Be sure to needed to get the finished look you want. wrap the ends of your hair snugly around If it's volume you ' re looking for, try the barrel for an even curl. bending over, letting hair fall freely to­ If your hair is straight or limp, put in wards the Door while blow drying. Brush some body 3.nd curl while blow drying. through once and Dip head back to upright Wrap a damp section of hair around a styl­ position. Notice the soft but_ full effect this ing brush, while directing the airflow of creates. your dryer on the brush. By fo ll owing lhese simple tips your hair Do this once or twice on each section can be as beautiful and manageable as until you've achieved the wave effect you your honeymoon will be memorable.

"'ON YOUR WEDDING DAY, the look )OU want i1 natural, 90ft and radiant," u.y, Elizabeth Arden', Glenn Roberta, "'Select pretty pastel pinks fot• lips and cheeks, muted misty blue, and greys for eye11. Blend fow1dation carefully, keep~ the look light and graceful." THE SMITH'S Jewelry Boutique Th- fw.ltjP.tllelry at '4e.tJUJit' ptdN.4. Phone 353-2740 For a reception as EsL 197.\ beautiful as your wedding. · 1~ Pictured below are just some of the things you can rent from Stone Rent-All to help you make your wedding reception truly beautiful. Ppol~~Fonst---.►S Rent tables, chairs, dinnerware, tablelinen, silver service, chafers, portable bars and • Weddings• much more. We now rent party tents • Bar and Bat Mitzvahs• for an assured success outdoor.s. • Special Occasions• For a f ree brochure call 726-2900. 339 Ives St., Providence, RI 02906 401-421-8530 StoneRentAll 629 CENTRAL AVEMJE, PAWTLCKET, A.I Wedding Gowns Deserve Special Care. Call Us. We understand h o w important your wedding gown Is. We know you put a great d eal o f l h o ught Into Its selecllo n a nd that e very d etail o f it h as a specia l meaning for you . A ltho u gh you o nly wear it o nce, it has great impor ta nce a nd sentime nta l value i n your life . Because it's t he t reasure it is. we h ave d esigned a specia l a r rangem e n t lo clean your weddi ng gown and the n permu ncnlly pack age il in EU\ allrnctlve box with u w indowed top. Whe re C lcuning l s A n A rt EMERS & COHEN T he H o m e o f Carriage T ra de Dry Clea ning" A dh· L<1lon of Country Club Clcuncl"!I. L&1111d..--y & Sto~c S tore,;; 4-46 B N IJroudway, East Prov Barrington Shopping Ctr . Plu11t . 260 Child Si .. Warre n Por pkhp &. ddivcry, 4-34 -5200 o r 245-34-00, Duy 1:'r Ni!lhl BRIDAL SHOWCASE, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 te Michael's Caters To Your Taste

Mine is an unchanging love, I ho.~ loved flowed tholfade, Higher than the heights abo~; Within whose magic rems Deeper than the depths beneath, Rich hlus have marriJJge mm:k Free and faithful, strong ar death. Wuh sweet wvnerrwried scents. - William Cowper - Robert Bridges

~ by Susan Higgins inspired Michael to offer daily delicacies Since Monday, February 4, opening day, to people who wished to make an occasion Michael of Michael's Catering· has made more special. A sincerely charming driving down Hope Street without presence, Michael's hours lend themselves stopping a more difficult task. From the to office-bound individuals whose daily little store front at the corner of Hope and demands may necessitate a compromise Rochambeau in Providence exquisite on preparing gourmet meals at the end of a temptations lure food aficionados. Gazing tedious day. Business lunches would also at the asthetically luscious displays I benefit from a trip to Michael's. imagine this could be a scene from a dream It is· overly ambitious to attempt to of Julia Child. describe all of the appetizing delights at Michael, who was once almost lost to Michael's. Suffice to say the full deli is the field of education, has created an complemented by a selection of fresh irresistible gourmet take-away heaven. herbs. Exotic pate§ compete with Michael offers delicacies guaranteed to delectable sweets. Voluptuous mushrooms tickle the palate, t reat the heart with from far away places befriend kindness and enrapture the uninspired. mouth-watering prepared dishes such as From appetizer through soup, salad, poached salmon. Michael is also prepared entree, and dessert, Michael's magic hands to create a basket of these goodies to mail create edible masterpieces. Aromas entice, to someone special. The best part of well-stocked display cases appeal, the Michael's new store? He wants to hear sweet nectar of exotic coffee drips your food fantasies. If he doesn't have it, temptingly, making me feel sure I've eaten he will make it for you. Who else is going too many enchanted cookies. to cater to you like that? A visit to this heavenly eatery is Michael's new store is open seven days a necessary to truly appreciate this appeal to week. Although still experimenting with the senses. Michael has no intention of times, the hours are as fo llows. Monday, retiring from his infamous catering Tuesday, Wednesday 9-6. Thursday, business. Rather, many visits to catouriers Friday, 9-8. Saturday 9-6 and Sunday 9-3. How to select the wine for your reception Like the wedding of individuals, the ~age offood with wine unites separate ~:l:J~i=b1~t~~7J::it ~,alr: entitles to create a stronger whole. or white dinner wine. Again, choose what And like the selection of a mate, the se­ you most comfortable. lection of the wine to match your wedding makes reception meal takes time and thoughtfuJ­ Glassware is another consideration, one ness. 1be goaJ, of course, is to offer your you won't have to spend much time on. guests the most satisfying, enjoyable meal Although traditional wine glass shapes possible. evolved for different wines, the best is re­ How is that d~l)ei.A.&OO!l..caterer can be ally an all-purpose, simple, clear, six- to enormously helpful in this area. rn addi­ eight-ounce, tulip-shaped, stemmed gob­ tion, it's wise to keep in mind a few basic let. [I will satisfy all wines. guidelines. As far as cost is concerned, there's no A The most imponant is: Don '1 be intimi­ need to invest your dCNII')' in the reception dated b1 a barrage of tongue-twisting for­ wine. Many fine domestic and imported Very eign wme names or elitist debates about products are reasonably priced. vi ntages. Consider what tastes good to fur example, Va1bon from France's re­ Special you, not the so-called experts. spected Bouchard family, which is poured Experiment a little with you r caterer, or in many of this country's finest restau­ NEW SERVICE - in your own kitchen. Pair wines with rants , costs about $4.00 for the standard foods, and sec how you like the combina­ 750-miJliliter bottle. A domestic wine, rn­ tions. glenook Navalle, is a popular n;staurant For Your While you can work from various charts "house" wine suitable for your reception specifying certain wines for particular bar, or as a dinner wine. Very dishes, remember to follow your own taste instincts. Simply avoid choosing a wine A good-tasting wine can only enhance that overpow-ers your food, or a wine that yo ur weddin~ reception. By fo llowing Special these basic guidelines, and using your own is overwhelmed by your meal . preferences, you're certain to add a per­ Wedding! Generally, if serving hearty and robust sonal and delicious touch to this special red meat, such as steak or roast beef, the occasion. ac.companying wine should probably also be robust. Rod wines such as French red Burgun­ (for Mothers dies or California Cabernet Sauvignon are & Maids too) full-flavored and full -bodied wines, and go we ll with heavie r dishes. With chicken, fish or shellfish, it is bet­ ter to serve lighter. chilled wines like the Chardonnays. Johannisberg Rieslings or dry Sauvignon Blancs. Consistent rose wines, such as Lancers from Portugal, can be an all-purpose com­ () J(,c; !11ll,1d, R, ,.1d promise between red and white, suitable ~ for almost al l dishes from cold cuts lo red m

FRESH AND FROZEN FISH SUNSHINE CELEBRATION Frost quickly with whipped topping. 434-3284 PUNCH Garnish as desired. 5 minutes from the East Side! (Makes about 4-1/2 quarts) Return to freez.er until ready to serve. Tip: Cake can be made I week: ahead Directions: Interstate 195E take Warren Ave. Exit 5. 1 (46-ouoce) can pineapple juice, and stored in freez.er. dulled Right onto Warren Ave. 1 block from the Arboretum. 3 cups orange juice, chilled Suggested garnishes: Gumdrop candy, ½ cup lemon jtua spearmint leaves, chocolate flavored 2 (32-ounce) bottles ginger ale, syrup, mint leaves, toasted slivered al­ clillled monds, etc. 1 qwu1 orange or pineapple sherbet, scooped into balls FRUIT CHEESE TARTS In large punch bowl, combine juices; (Makes Utarts) mix well. Just before serving, add ginger ale and sherbet. u (3-inch) p.-epared graham cracker or pam-y tart-size crusts 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, DYEABLES softened PARTY DILL SEAFOOD SALAD I (14-ounee) can Eagle® Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk (Makes 12 servings) (NOT evaporated milk) To Our Valued Brides I½ pounds small raw shrimp, 1/J cup lemon juice cooked, peeled and deveined 1 teaspoon vanilla extract I½ pounds fresh sea scallops, AsM>rted fresh fruit We are pleased to present one of chopped and cooked, or bay (strawberries, blueberries, kiwi scallops, cooked fruit, grapes, pineapple, etc.) the most extensive selections for ½ cup chopped celery 1/4 cup apple jelly, melted ¼ cup finely chopped onion In large mixer bowl, beat cheese until your perfect day. I tablespoon prepared mustard fluffy. Beat in sweetened condensed milk I cup mayonnaise or salad until smooth. Stir in lemon juice and va­ • dressing nilla. ¼ cup lemon juice 95 I teaspoon diJI weed wi~hi:!.~;:!;h~~Jecll~.sts· Top FROM$18 ¾ teaspoon salt Chill thoroughly. Refrigerate leftovers. 1/, teaspoon pepper PRECISION DYEING In large bowl, combine ingredients; mix well . Chill thoroughly. Garnish as desired. Widths • Narrow • Medium • Wide Cake is the one. ingredient no wedding Refrigerate leftovers. receplion can do without. But it doesn't afl)/~ Heels • High • Medium • Low have to be the all-white confection that's traditional. According 10 BRIDE'S Maga- • Thurs.-Fri. until 9 p.m. 943-0028 zine, i<>day's brides and grooms are per­ SHOES COOL AND MINTY fff; sonalizing their wedding cakes in any or BRIDAL CAKE 'The 1hoe1 thev talk about" 66·68 Hillside Ad., Garden City, Cranston all of the followi ng ways. (Makes one 9-inc.b cake) • The F7avor: White spongecake is cus­ I (14-ouoce) can Eagle® Brand tomary and still the choice of many. But Sweetened Condensed Milk brides and grooms who are chocolate lov­ (NOT evaporated milk) ers or carrot-cake fans are determined to be recognized too. 2 teaspoons peppermint extract Caterer. Hall. Gown. s drops green rooo coloring Some couples are striking a compro­ 2 cups (1 pint) whipping cream, mise with tradition by offering vanilla in one tier, chocolate or some other flamr in whipped (do not use IIOIJ-daky another. Unusual and very gourmet fill ­ Photographer. Mikveh. whipped topping) I (18½~unce) package white cake ings are also showing up. There'salotofinterestinethnicrootsin mb< What's Mikveh? Green creme de menthe this country right now, and this is helping to change the idea of what's "right .. for a I (8-ounce) container frozen wedding cake. Brides and grooms who non-dairy whipped toppin&, It's something old, something new. want to honor their heritage arc celebrat­ thawed ing their marriage with slices of Italian It's an old tradition. But a lot of young In large bowl, mix sweetened con­ cheesecake or Irish fruitcake. women are choosing it as their own. densed milk, extract and food coloring. • 1he Shape: Three or four round tiers Fold in whipped cream. are being replaced at some weddings by It's the Jewish way in love and marriage. Pour into aluminum foil -lined 9-inch square, rectangular or even hean shapes . round layer cake pan. Cover. Freeze 6 And the familiar white swirls and curli­ Find out more. Ca ll the Rhode Island hours or "until finn. cues are sharing the stage with pink hearts, Mikveh Committee 861-1066 or 861-7216. Meanwhile, prepare and bake cake mix pale blue scallops, bright marzipan as package directs for two 9-inch rou,nd flowers, and fresh roses and daffodils in­ Come see the new Community Mikveh. layers. Remove from pan ; cool com­ serted into water-filled vials. pletely. • Th e Topper: The ornament that sits on You wouldn't want to forget anything With table fork, poke holes in layers I topofthecak.eoffers the greatest room for inch apart halfway through each layer. important. imagination. The lime-honored bride and Drizzle small amounts of creme de mcnthe groom, wedding bells and lovebirds re­ in holes . main popular. Plaee cake layer on serving plate; top with ice cream layer then second cake layer. Stocking your first kitchen requires careful consideration, advance planning Newlyweds mean new households, and in advance. new households mean new kitchens to be They need to review the lifestyle they stocked. For several reasons, equipping expect to live, their diets and eating habits, their new kitchen is a step that al l about-10- and their individual and combined cook­ be-married couples should consider very ing talents. carefull y. Couples who take time to envision their For one thing, while it is still the most kitchen and how it will be used are in a bet­ frequently used room in the home, the ter position to select sensibly from the kitchen is no longer the domain of the broad array of kitchen tools and equip­ woman of the house. ment available. T hey also make it easier for their With more and more working cou­ friends and relatives to select appropriate ples - more than half of today's married shower and wedding gifts. women work outside the home - hus­ With the growing number of variables bands, of necessity, are becoming increas­ involved in planning and stocking a mod­ ingly self-sufficient and competent in the em kitchen, probably the most imponant kitchen. word to keep in mind is "versatility.'' That's not to say the couple should con­ On top of that, more men than ever be­ fore are cooking because they enjoy it . sider nothing but "combination" units - equipment, gadgets or tools that do a num­ and, to the delight of their mates, they are ber of kitchen jobs. The products with the good at it. most buttons or functions are not necessar­ Working couples with jobs that place ily the best. unique demands on their time may well Five general areas to consider in stock­ find that their jobs are the major factor in ing a new kitchen are electrical appli­ establishing their cooking and eating pat­ ances, rangetop cookware, bakeware, terns. cutlery and utensils. Add everyday dinner­ Often, a newlywed couple's first home ware and flatware if the kitchen is also the is a cozy apartment in which space- in­ main eating area. cluding kitchen storage space - is at a Electrical appliances include everything premium. from refrigerators and ranges through the Tradition has inspired this glorious gown made of Add to this the proliferation of kitchen latest microwave or convection ovens 10 equipment available to today's new home­ toasters and coffeemakers. dreams come true! All-over Schillli beaded lace is touched maker, and i1's easy to see why prospective The major determini ng factors in with Alencon high stoc ked neckline, the full train t r illesed newlyweds need to plan their ki1chen well choosing electrical appliances are usually in lace. Like an angel's halo, the headpiece is a bridal floral gar· land with pearl springs, long illusion veil. Gown by Bia nchi Reprinte d courtesy of Brid e. M ~a,.:1;ine..

their cost and their size relative to the more versatile and can be used on any space available. rangetop or under the broiler. Cutlery for lhe new home should in­ Versa1 il ity and durability should be the clude not only the knives themselves, bul a major fac1ors in choosing cookware and proper storage device such as a knife block bakeware. Few materials offer the cook­ or rack. Besides helping the knives hold :~~~rsatility of glass a nd glass- their sharp edges longer. this is a safety factor. The idea of preparing, cooking, storing The cu1lery assortment a couple may and serving all in one vessel originaled choose will vary, but a basic array should wi1h Corning's developmen1 of heat­ include 3 and 4-inch paring knives and an resistant glass ovenware in 1915, and was 8 or IO-inch chefs knife. ex1ended in 1958 with the development of Utensils is a catch-all category that in­ glass-ceramic cookware and casseroles. cludes but is not limi1ed to spamla, Coming has nCM' developed a transpar­ ent glass-ceramic cookware line for range- ~%8n';eJ :!~r.~~: ~r:~r~~i~k.l~u~ ling surface, measuring spoons. and dry ~!~~:-~~i!!'. h~e~:;~:~i~~YVi0sfj~ and liquid measures. cookware lets cooks see what's happening New open-handled glass liquid mea­ and helps prevent messy OOilovers. sures that nesl take up Jess cupboard space Glass cookware can go from refrigera­ and are microwave-safe, making !hem tor or freezer directly into a microwave or ideal for preparing sauces. BAS IC KITCHEN TOOLS include anasMH1ment o( cutlery, utensils and small appli­ preheated conventional or convec1ion ances., liquid and dry measures, mixing bowls. bakeware and cookware, In toda)·'s oven. Glass-ceramic cookware is even enuiller kitchens. sets that ne.-: are a mu8t., Mare bakeware and even liquid measures that can be used in conventional or microwave oven s. Versatile new see-through rangetop ware (right) not only help11 avoid messy boiloveni but can al80 be used in conventional or micn>wave ovens. THE BEST PLACE Your Weddin8 Qeceplion !!!d!!! TO GO&w RHODE ISLAND FOR ~ YOUR~ INN 208 I Post Road Warwick, RI 02886 HONEYMOON 739-0600 IS HERE --~- HOSPITAIJ1Y ~ CENTER We 're the lm-µ,est tra1'L'l agency in tbe u·orld. I 150 Narragansell Blvd. So ll'ben it comes to tra1 ·el count on our Cranston, RI 02905 knoll'ledge and experti~e. 456-1199 C hoose one of our beautiful facilities We 'll help you plan e1 •er)'tbing Then relax HEARTHSTONE ... for a day to remember always. heumseyo11r .1pecial trip isin good bands. INN • Superb menu selections Routes I I 4A & 44 • Impeccable service AAA is the Sttltonlr, MA 02771 • Plann;ng assistance. most trusted name 336-8700 Call today for our complete in travel. Depend wedding program ... custom designed Es~ctally For You on us for the Facilities of best prices and the Johnso n & Wales College ~ ------' right information. 22 - BRIDAL SHOWCASE, FEBRUARY 8, 1985

degree of discomfort. You want to feel as sandwich. Or you were instantly drawn to Falling In Love comfortable with the person you love as a man at a party who was bright, charm ing when you're alone. With Sarah, I didn't and successful, but after a month of nea r by Janet Bode different profile of Mr. or Ms. Wonderful. feel the need to exhibit myself: I just was. bliss you find out he's an incorrigible On a , wilting afternoon one July, Ken is a romantic stock analyst, who by From the start, we had an easy and natural womanizer. Cynthia noticed a man dressed all in white age twenty-eight had "despaired of ever fit; our individual neuroses met like a ball More likely. love withers when - white shirt, white pants - hurryi ng meeting anyone compatible." Then one and socket.'' familiarity peels away idealization to down a Manhattan street. Her instant day during a workshop on corporate When Melinda and Frank first met, reveal your lover's flaws. Every couple has response was, "he's so cute!" relocation, he glanced around the table Melinda was suspicious. Frank was so to go through a demythologizing process. Until that moment, Cynthia had been and his gaze stopped at Sarah, "a woman presentable she knew her mother would Originally, you may have felt nurtured and perfectly happy being single and had had with the most beautiful, soulful eyes.'' adore him, she explains jokingly. But she taken care of: later you feel he's controlling no intention whatsoever of fa lling in love. Zing. "Two hours later when I overheard felt right away that he was everything you. Or, at first you may have fou nd him Compelled to meet the captivating her breaking a date to be with me that she'd always wanted in a partner, and had easygoing; now you see he's just sleeping stranger, she fo llowed him into a store. evening, I fe lt that something magnificent the same gentle humor as her father. Right through life. Before the sun set she had read his Tarot and exciting was taking place," says Ken. away he also brought out the lust in her. Sometimes the woman sets herself up cards and informed him that by incredible The conscious and unconscious fanat.asies that reverberation, that chemistry. "Lust. for failure. On some level she may not be coincidence she saw a dark•haired woman had swu ng into action. That's why love at fi rst sight happens." ready for a serious commitment. "If falli ng in his future. T hen she smiled. And he Every time you meet someone new, you Melinda declares. "Lust is what makes it in love at first sight is a pattern, if you're smiled back. Zing. match the checklist of your /conscious more than just friendship. I certainly making the same mistake over and over, Does love at first sight exist? fantasies against the new person. You also wouldn't want to spend any portion of my there's usually some important reason for "Absolutely," asserts Cynthia, a make inferences and judgments about life with a man for whom I didn't feel it," Hayner says. "Often there's a powerful self.described expert on the topic. "You what that other person must be like, which passion." Besides the inst.ant sexual unresolved relationship elsewhere in your bet," agrees Peter, the man in the white ca n't be confirmed until you know him attraction, Melinda found that" ... love at life - generally with a parent - that suit. After a few weeks, they moved in better. In addition, you have an fi rst sight is an intuitive knowledge that should be examined more closely," she together: in less than a year they were unconscious reaction. you like each other. There's also explains. married. "Sexual matters form a prominent something going on that I like to call Sometimes, mere infatuation is Many people experience love at first aspect of the unconscious, because their cosmic timing: the universe deciding to be mistaken for true love at first sight. "You sight; what's more, it's often the real thing. forbidden qualities cause them to be kind, providing you with this great can't take a twenty-point test to fi nd out if Unfortunately, you can't make it happen. rele_gated there," Dr. Kavka explains. introduction." it really is love or infatuation," points out "Love at fi rst sight is an internal event "With love at first sight, there's always a Their "great introduction" took place Dr. Kavka. You may not be able to ovei which you have little control," says sexual component, something in the three years ago, when Frank, the president distinguish them until the relationship Audrey Kavka, M.D., a psychiatrist in person that reverberates in you." of a young, expanding Boston has stood the test of time. private practice and an associate assistant Ma rgaret Hayner, a New Yo rk City management consultant firm, was in Put to that test, can love at fi rst sight clinical professor of psychiatry at the therapist who speciali zes in marriage Chicago on business. Friends suggested he endure? Absolutely, say Cynthia, the University of California, San Francisco. counseling, concurs that the "very specific meet Melinda, a Chicago native with a Tarot card reader, and Peter, the man in " It occurs on those rare occasions when agenda or contract you have for a mate is public relations background, to discuss the the white suit, wife and husband of both your conscious and unconscious usually unconscious, based on factors like possibility of her wo rking for his company. seventeen years. Yes, say fantasies are fulfilled. You have the you r position in your family, your parents' Zing. The discussion led to a drink, which psychotherapists.' "Couples who have a experience but can't explain why, because marriage. led to dinner, which led to a nightcap, positive initial experience have a much half the explanation is in your "You experience your parents' which led to her roommate's dry better prognosis for making it through the unconscious. relationship in an extremely profound way observation the following morning when difficulties of day-to-day adjustment. "Take Cynthia, for example. Though at an early age, and that becomes your Melinda tumbled home, " I assume you got Whether it's a strong sexual relationship she had no sense of anything logical or model fo r what you either want or don't the job." or a very intense first attraction, it is rational about her immediate attraction to want. When you meet somebody, you have "No, but I got the boss," Melinda said. something that sustains them through the Peter, and wasn't consciously aware of her a gut reaction that tells you whether this "Some say men fall in love at first sight rocky times," says therapist Hayner. thoughts, somewhere in her unconscious person fits or doesn't fit this model. Often all the time," Frank observes. " In fact, I've Love at first sight, in Cynthia's opinion, fantasies he met her picture of the ideal with love at fi rst sight there's a powerful read that we're supposed to have eight is like the unicorn. H you search for it, you male," Dr. Kavka says. feeli ng that some strong needs are going to sexual fantasies a day. But when it won't find it. Yoy can't tell yourself, "In your unconscious are , repressed be met." happens. the real thing, you definitely "Today I'm going to fall in love." But memories - thoughts and fantasies that Ken recalls, " My initial thoughts about when you're not looking - zi ng. She are unavailable to your conscious mind - Sarah were, 'Wow, what a stunning face, knfn\e~~~ntt~:~=~sa~ia~\!~f:~~:~~. las confides that whenever she sees Peter she that in a sense you've forgotten. Although but I'm sure she'll have a voice with a their phone bills mounted in direct still lights up with that same glowing you don't know they're part of you r image nasal twang.' Then she spoke and her proportion to their feelings for each other, smile, still feels the same warm rush that of what you're looking fo r in a mate, they voice was lovely. I thought, 'Her politics Melinda packed up and left fo r Boston. she did the day they met. are," continues Dr. Kavka. will be an embarrassment.' Then she They've been living together for three Peter in turn emphasizes the rightness "Your conscious fantasy might be: I detailed several points that mirrored my yea rs. of their relationship. He cites Cynthia's want somebody warm, not like my father, views. She was sensitive, a person of And now fo r the bad news. emotional dependability - a constancy, a a cold, uncommunicative person to whom character, a whole succession of surprises Unfortunately, in some cases, drab reality quality he somehow sensed on that ve ry I never felt close. Meanwhile, your unfolding before me.'' steals onto the scene: Your initial positive same day. "If we were a trapeze team, I'd unconscious may contain long-forgotten Ken quickly sensed Sarah was what he assessment of the loved one turns out to be be the jumper and she'd be the catcher." memories of pleasure with that same wanted in a wife. She reminded him of his disastrously wrong. Perhaps you made too Peter believes. "Granted, right after parent: the times you raked leaves, made mother. She reminded him of a former many fast inferences based on fau lty catching me, she'd be racing out the door, angels in the snow or read stories together. girlfriend. She also re~inded him of evidence. For example, you may have met hollering about a meeting to go to and And those unconscious repressed nobody he'd ever met before. The two of a gorgeous man leaving a bank carrying an leftovers in the fridge, but when it counts, memories both influence you and ca n't be them had an immediate capacity fo r Italian leather briefcase, and falle n in love she's always there." modified by your conscious thoughts. You unlimited conversation paired with an assuming he was a successfully employed So what many have perceived as can't say, 'I'm not going to fall for a man ability to fee l comfortable being quiet rock of st.ability. You later discover your superficial - "only" love at fi rst sight - like my father,' because you may not even together. He says, "With ninety-nine out man had just been refused a loan and that may in reality be the true key, the know that you're looking fo r a man with of a hundred people you meet, you feel a his briefcase contained only an aging tuna essential element that holds two people his qualities." together in a long-lasting. deep and So the core ingredients of love at first rewarding true love. sight are twofold: conscious fantasies - the physical. intellectual, emotional, maybe even fi nancial attributes you're searching for in a partner - and more import.ant, unconscious fantasies - the repressed memories that outline a possibly Beautifully Decorated WEDDING CAKES DYEABLES FREE Precisinn Dyeing AND CAKES for all your We Carry A special occasions Large Selection of PUJi{PS Call Hope ... and • For Business Trips and Vacation Travel. 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fallH°",s Matching Handbags Mon Fri.9-5pm L Sat 9-12 +.• hes b~ appointment 540 PAWTUCKET AVE., PAWT. 508 ARMISTICE BLVD .• PAWT. 32 GOFF AVENUE 1617 WARWICK AVE .• WARWICK :.'!:'.!." PAWTUCKET RI 02860 V,A'J\')'\eWf°41::-:: b.--..-- ...., OP~N SUNDAYS- N'' 421-9043 TEL. 728-3600 FrNPMllng The First Year Of Marriage The first year of marriage is a time of check with one another to make sure they constant learning and growing, a time hav_e understood exactly what the other is when fou ndations are laid and, often, saymg. lifelong patterns are set. Preparation for Certain topics should be discussed marriage should begin long before the thoroughly, either prior to the marriage or wedding vows. in its earliest stages. This helps to bring "We spend a tremendous amount of out expectations regarding male and time planning weddings, but engaged female roles and decision-making couples should also devote time to responsibilities, according to Ephross. discussing and planning marriage," Jewish identity and the role of Judaism advises Rabbi Donald Berlin of Temple in the marriage is another crucial area of Oheb Shalom. "When couples come to see discussion. Rabbi Berlin encourages young me before their weddings, I bring up topics couples to observe some aspect of Shabbat of marriage, topics which have a new ring each week. "Couples must realize that to them when discussed with a third party. one's life is greater than oneself and they "I try to get a sense of their attitudes should try to be committed to that great.er toward marriage and their long- and element," he says. short-range goals. This becomes the basis "They should make Shabbat at least a for discussion," the rabbi said, "in the part of it, something that is uniquely hope that where there are differences in there. lt"s a value that affirms the attitude, discussion will bring about relationship. That value is often identified compromise and understanding." as the presence of G-d in the marriage, the Compromise and understanding are two third partner which the transition ascribes of the keys to a successful transition to to· Jewish marriage," Rabbi Berlin married life. But a variety of issues must observed. be discussed and negotiated in fo rming the A particularly tough area of adjustment new total relationship that constitutes for young couples is conflict and conflict marriage. The five big issues confronting resolution, Ephross declares. She suggests newlyweds are leisure time, religion, that the couple set time limits for in-laws, money and sex, accordi ng to arguments in order to minimize the Betty Jacobs, Clinical Director of the chance of anger turning into irrationality. Jewish Family and Children's Services Partners should express anger directly, (JFCS), Beverly Nackman, Associate dealing with the situation when it Di rector of the JFCS's Family Slfrvice happens, and they should refrain from Department and Rose Goodman, Director bringing "old" grievances into '"new" of JFCS's Randallstown office. argumebts. "Two people coming from different "Optimally, the couple. should try to Bridal: Stunning beauty and quiet elegance in summer families must negotiate tasks in learn communication and problem-solving day-to-day livi ng," Jacobs says. ''They skills prior to the marriage in pre-marriage satin. The magnolia neckline is accentuated with ruffles need to lay down ground rules - what will workshops, as a preventive mental health that a.re tucked with rosettes sheltering the shoulders; the work for them. Marriage is a technique," she says. "Sharing feelings point lies over the skirt controlling the fullness, with a development.al process. a process of and ideas with other couples dealing with bea'!-tiful and graceful court train. accommodating and blending to meet the many of the same issues is a good way of Bridal wreath designed with satin buds. Long illusion needs of both partners." Q._eg inning a marriage." Mitch and Lisa Reitman, both natives JFLE offers six-week pre-marriage and veil. of the San Francisco Bay area. California, marriage enrichment programs, both of Gown by Bianchi Reprinted courtesy of Bride Ma.ta.zine. set up their home in Baltimore this past which are educational in focus and with a September, following their August heavy emphasis on communication. Each wedding. Both stress the importance of Will begin in the spring. Electrolysis compromise in marital adjustment. Pre-marriage discussion also helps to , "You're no longer two independent dispel some of the myths of marriage, Permanent people. You must learn to work as one and Ephross points out. "Many couples have idealized views about marriage," she says. make a lot of concessions, but they are Hair ;! concessions you're usually ready to make "They may see their spouses as their when you decide to get married," says "princess" or "knight in shining armour" Mitch, a 24-year-old Campaign Associate who will fulfill all their needs, or they may Removal \ at the Associated Jewish Charities and expect constant emotional intensity and Marilyn Finizia, R.N., R.E. r \ Welfare Fund. "Even simple things like intimate communication between keeping the checkbook requires discussion themselves and their spouses. These • Day-P. M.-Weekend Appts. and agreement," he points out. myths need to be discussed and put into Lisa, a 23-year-old service proper perspective." • Physician Approved representative for a local insurance In addition to pre-marriage meetings. • Tax Deductible company, emphasizes the importance of Rabbi Berlin suggests a "six-month talking everything out and finding happy check-up" for newlyweds, the idea of a Phone 739-2676 \~J.. \\ rabbi friend of his in Oklahoma City. mediums in the early months of a '" I For Information or Free Consultation marriage. ask couples to come see me after several ~ "You must learn to share everything in months of marriage to discuss how well 78 Airport Rd., Warwick (ample Parking) your life," she says. " I was an independent they have acclimated to the marriage and person for a long time and was used to how things are going for them," he making my own decisions, often doing explains. things on a whim. It was a bit tough at the Rabbi Berlin measures success in beginning, realizing that now I had to marriage through individual and collective consult Mitch on just about everything, growth, successful interrelationships and but it's becoming more and more natural."\ mates' feelings that they are better people Rabbi Jim and Susan Rappeport as a result of their marriage. Bleiberg, who celebrated their first " Marriage is a human being wanting to cMt. <2luju ~t, wedding annive rsary last month, reflect share his or her life in the most intimate 8nb.1) that they more or less glided into married way possible with another human being," 182 ACADEMY AVENUE I life. he says. " It's the ability of two people to , I "The biggest step fo r us was making the positively affect and touch each other's PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND 02908 1/ commitment to get married," says Jim, a lives. It seems a miracle in the modern 31-year-old Associate Rabbi at Baltimore world, but it happens, fulfilling the Hebrew Congregation. "I somehow expression "to sanctify life," which means Tel. 421-7065 thought there would be a lot more changes to make special, to feel safety and to be at than there we re." one." The one thing the couple did have to Specializing in exotic and contemporary design work hard at was creating blocks of time to spend together, since both have rigorous FREE GUIDE TO for all occasions. schedules. "We set at least one night a "EXTRA SPECIAL" week aside for each other," notes Susan. a 27 -year-old special education teacher at TOASTS T he Children's Guild. "The time that we Never be at a loss for words at wed­ spend together is very special." dings, with an infonnative, free guide to Research on the most problematic areas toasts for special occasions. for young couples finds that The new guide offers insight into communication is the most import.ant, unique toasting customs from around the Ephross uplains. "The first year of world and, with the help of phonetic pro­ marriage is a good time to initiate new nunciations, lists ways to say '"Cheers" communication patterns, since it and good luck in 23 languages. A descrip­ constitutes a new st.age in the life cycle. tion of how toasting rituals have evolved The intensity of the communication in since ancient Greek and Roman times is also included . marriage is different than that at the workplace or at school. How to Produced by the mak ers of Bell's Valentine Heart Shaped communicate with each other, when to Scotch Whi sky "E,:tra Special," the Guide to "fatra Special" Toasts also con­ ICE CREAM CAKES MUSICALLY DELIVERED communicate and what to expect from ~ PHONE TODAYI tains a va ri ety of old-time favorites, and IN A GIANT ICE CREAM CONE COSTUME! communication is very import.ant." famous quotes. w 885-0064 Ephross suggests that you ng couples :E concentrate on improving their listening Wrile for culde w SONGS ANO PHOTO to make your BRIDAL SHOWER or GROOM 'S PARTY ~ skills, including their ability to pick up on To obtain a copy, mail a s1amped, self­ "' more entertaining and memorable! non-verbal communication and feelings. addressed business si.ze envelope to: Bcll 's ~ ! She stres&es learning to say what one Scotch "fatra Special" Toast Guide, 888 ffi P.o . B8• 2304 Providence, RI 02906 vi means, and recommends that spouses Seventh Ave, New York, NY 10 106. • ANNIVERSARIES BAR/BAT MITZVAHS CHILDREN'S PARTIES I

M BRIDAL SHOWCASE, FEBRUARY 8, 1985 For brides: At last, the crystal facts! When choosing or registering for wed­ A. : A stem ware collectio n is a long ding gifts, who doesn't think of traditional awaited favorite among brides. There are stemware? Or, the practical salad bowl? What about the elegant pitcher? Or, the :r~ ~~~ ~~rthe ~~i:ct~;ur.f•1~1i;at~: beautiful wine carafe? pagne. Eight of each is the magical num­ Because crystal is married to the wed­ ber for a complete set. ding tradition and its inherent characteris­ Table accessories include the salad tics make it a priceless treasure for future bowl, the romantic candlesticks, the hurri­ generations, it is onJy right for you to team cane lamps, the useful pitcher and the cof­ the crystal facts before maki ng your final fee carafe. choice. Also, crystal dinnerware is growing in When sele.cting crystal, be careful . popularity. More brides are choosing it be­ Don't be deceived. Not everyth ing that cause its ve rsatility com plements a ny loolts translucent, brilliam, crystalline and color o r table decor. Q.: Is it socially correct to tum a water elcf:1~e~~ ~ ~i:O~; selection, here's a goblet into a dessen d ish or a p!tchcr into a list of questions many brides often think of flower vase? when choosing their crystal, but never A.: Yes! It is not o nl y correct, but it know whom to ask. At last, Princess shows imaginatio n. After the exci1ement House, a leadi ng manufacturer of fu ll­ of the wedding is Jong gone and you have a lead, handblown and handcut crystal. pro­ chance to settle down, you will soon real­ vides you With the answers. ize you are missing a few essential items. Q.: Are air bubbles imperfections or a Use your crystal! It is more versatile, prac­ sign of low-quality crystal? tical a nd durable 1han most people sus­ A. : Absolutely not. Tiny bubbles. pect. marks and va ria1ions are unique trails of For instance, a candlelite vase has many high-quality handblown cryslal. They rep­ uses: It can be a cigarene, pencil or tooth­ resent the "signature" oftheglassblower's pick holder. Place it in the center of your fi nished an. fresh vegetable d ip d ish a nd make your Q.: H ow can you !e ll if crys1al is carrots, celery and zucchini stand up. handblown or machine pressed? With crystal there are no limitalions to A.: Handblown crystal is mouth blown, its use. one piece at a 1ime, and is more graceful-;­ Q. : Should crystal be used only at night delica1e and finer in detail 1han machine and/or for selected formal parties? pressed crystal. One piece of handblown A.: Definitely not. The beauty of crys- stemware may require the work of up to 1al is its all -around use. C rystal can be 18 artisans. dressed up or dressed down depending o n O n the o ther hand, pressed crys1al is the occasion. heavier tha n handblown and i1s density Your salad bowl can serve fruits and gives the items a rich tonal ring when deli­ croissants in the morning, punch or potato Left: Contemporary design, elegance flows from the soft cately tapped. chips at a picnic lunch, and elegantly d is­ Q.: Whal's the difference be1ween crys­ played vegetables al a fo rmal dinne r. Be neckline edged in Venezia lace to the tip of this Intermezza tal and lead crystal? creative. Crystal docs not have a season o r length vision of loveliness. A lull bow'\d sash controls the A .: Crystal is a glass that contains lead a time of day. circular skirt. ollide, a substance which gives crystal its Q. : Does weight determine the quality weight and luster. H igh-quality crys1al of crystal? Right - Ode to Grecian classicism with a modern flair. should contain at least 24 percent lead oll­ A.: Not at all. We ight doesn't say any­ The bodice is delicately flounced and the over-skirt con­ ide, and is commonly called fu ll -lead crys­ thing about the quality of crystal. You trols the sheath, satin ribbon waist in atl.. over-Chiffon. tal. should look for the craftman 's detail work Lead is fundamental s ince it enables and the tonal quality. Gown.s by Dia.n.c h i Re prin ted cou rtesy of Bride Ma.ca.zine. crystal to retain its attractive qualities dur­ Q.: When delicately tapping the crystal, ing the shaping process. The more lead, what docs the bell-like ring tell us? the brighter, the clearer and the richer the A. : The clearer the tone, the better the Alaska Honeymoon_ tone is. quality. Q.: What are the most popular crystal O nce upon a time. plans,for the wed- easy to feel you have the world to yourself pieces for wedding gifts? ding trip were a bridegroom ·s prerogati ve in Alaska, where the scenery is spectacu- ;,.;;d responsibility. Can you imagine to ♦ Jar, where the opportunity to explore the day's bride being packed off to an undis- w il derness is unlimiled and where warm closed destination at the climax of weeks hospitality prevails - from cosmopolitan -oiS~\)\­ of wedding preparation and celebration? Anchorage to wilderness lodges. With a trunkful of smart city clothes to a Do your homework early, before pre­ B~~ \\-6 fishing camp? With a backpack of jeans wedding stress sets in. The best place to and boots and sweaters to a glamour re­ seek ad vice on travel 10 Alaska is the sort? No contemporary bridegroom in his state's Division or Tourism. Your 1985 right mind would take such-a risk! Alaska Wlcation Planner, which includes ~>x:$, The honeymoon's a mutual decision information on travel throughout Canada's these days. Choosing a destination is a Yukon, is free, and can be o rdered by time for real up-front honesty about pref­ writing to the Alaska Division of Tourism, erences . . . maybe even compromise. Pouch E-603, Juneau AK 9981 I. HAVE Privacy, romance, glamour, fun are all considerations. Exploring a place that's All the information you need T H E new to you both has a psychological ad­ vantage in getting your marriage off to an A wealth of information is crammed N A ILS even stan. - into the 100-page book. In addition to facts, figures, maps and detailed informa­ Y OU'VE O ppo rlunities for adventure tion, the Vacation Planner combines prac­ tical advice with personal reflections of ALWAYS Alaska - America's last frontier - can many who've traveled north to explore WANTED be an adventure you' ll never forget. It's America's last frontier. A long-standing D o broken. s t u bby nails r uin your sle e k . w ell-groomed 1!lelfl!e1r 1!lake image? G e t t h e ·~ . . tradition per fect f 1ntsh1ng Getting engaged is one of the most ex­ touc h o f Silk N a ils. · cflwp citing moments in any woman's life, and a S ilk N alls a r e ' main part of that excitement is the dia­ b e a utiful. n atu r a l 373 S mith Street Providence. R.I. mond e ngagement ring. look ing and , best o f I The tradition of giving a diamond to all. h ealthie r f or signify an engagement began back in you r own n ails. And 1477, when Maxmillian of Austria gave if y o u·v e b e en h aving Winner of 45 Awards Mary of Burgundy a gold ring set with dia- s culptu red n a,ls . For Our Special monds. now 1s the t im e to stop being a s lav e WEDDING CAKES! t o refills. After a ll, y ou do des e rve A ttention D;·• · · ·.' \ "A PERFECT BODY ... the bes c . Brides-to-Be . . . · A G IFT .J U ST For the Most . · FOR A PERFECT BRIDE" FOR YOU .. Important Cake in · ~ · ·~. STRAPLESS BOOY BRIEFER A p erson a l care item Your Life ,.... ~;~; v alued at $1 0 w ill b e Seamless Cups B-C-0 34 10 38 beige. our 91ft to you w h e n Come I n and ..... -~ i! you p u rch ase a f u l l Yoo Can S. Ma ....ad $3050 set o f Silk N a ils. Personally Select & Fitted Anytime! by "SMOOTHIE" Yo ur Own Call From Many of Our Today ~;Te'~~---~,,...... ___. , First Prize Winners 331-5 167 IVE ALSO FEATURE A E Z Z ~-:;-:.~O..O&EO MONDAY'S Corsetrv"'J El PE~SQNAL CAJ:!E SALON FANCYCOOKIETRAYS, 15 PARK STRUT, ATTLEBOftO, MASS. 401 .273.9393 "".l";:.'c,~~rii'~es::_r;eel M INI PASTRIES, IVANDl"S ~:;'~~~~ :IC Of all the ways to say "I love you",

Picture yourself and your bridesmaid in this romantic fantasy. Bridesmaid: A scoop neckline, is accentuated with full puff sleeves. Delicate lace trims this all-over striped beauti• fut Organza dress in lntermezza length. Bridal: Romantic al\d sensual, the gown is designed with a Sabrina neckline, Iona fitted sleeves, all .. over embroi­ dered Organza with Satin Trim. The open lace back bonnet is in matching embroidery, with a long illusion veil. Gowns by 8i;uu:hi R eprinted courtesy of &ride Ma.lla.X: ine. Bridesmaids' dresses: Romantic, traditwnal Romantic and traditional are the two Casuals, a national chain that specializes biggest trends in bridesmaid dressing to­ in bridal and prom dresses. day. More and more bridal panics are " Bright red looks like it will be an im­ wearing either frilly off-the-shoulder portant color as well," Ms. Gibney notes. Scarlett O'Hara looks or lacy covered-up Lengths are generally to the floor, al­ Victorians, both of which lend an aura of though there seems to be some interest in charm and femininity to the wedding. tea lengths, which end mid..c,alf. 1be most popular fabrics are taffeta and , Nearly as imponant as the dress itself satin while chiffon still holds its own. Pas­ are accessories. Gloves, both wrist and el­ tel shades are the favorites, with pink the bow length, are extremely popular, while leader and aqua "coming on strong," ac­ hats, hoops, crinolines and jewelry all add cording to buyer Janice Gibney of Susie's a feminine touch.

KNOW SOMEONE GETTING MARRIED? GIVE THEM A FREE TELL US THEIR HONEYMOON WITH NAME AND THE R.I. HERALD ADDRESS AND WE'LL SEND THEM A COMPLIMENT ARY SUBSCRIPTION

------Couple's Name ______Address ______Zip ___ Wedding Date ______You, Name ______Address ______Zip ___

Mail flus coupon to: Rhode Island Herald

~~~~kt°:ce~~I. 02940 ~~a:ie Herald --~~-~------Bridal: Balance in fabric and design, La Champagne and Summer Satin are artfully combined in a basic beaded bod• ice as well as the graceful lull skirt which features a beaded Advice on how to choose hemline matching the bodice. Glimmery beaded bridal wreath graces the head with elegance. Bridesmaid: The demi--princess silhouette beautifully a wedding photographer complements a moire faille, One very imponant item on your wed­ est seasons - in order to book your choice Gowns by Bianchi Reprinted courtesy ol Bride Ma.ll(a.:tine. ding checklist is hiring your professional of photographers. photographer. While relatives and friends • " Interview" a va riety of photogra­ may take photographs of the occasion, phers. Look at samples of their work. Se­ you 'II want to be sure an experienced pro­ lect a photographer whose style suits the Just look ;here the boys · fessional has been contracted to capture images you'd like to caprure. the mood and scenes of this memorable • Arrange for a fo rmal bridal portrait occasion. for the newspaper at the time of your final are now: the bridal registry! A professional photographer is trained gown fining. !O consider not onl y the technical aspects • Don't change your hair style, or have of your photographic needs, but is also it cut or frosted, just before taking your Proof that the young American male is women. people-oriented and knows how to photo­ , portrait - you want 10 look like you. Keep as interested in the dinner plate as the Me n tend to select cups, silvetware and graph you wi th sensitivity to capture the jewelry and other accessories to a mini­ m,ood and feel ing of the day, without inter­ home plate is the fact that, in the past few glassware that "feel right" in their hand, :~~· You r makeup should not be exces- years, bridaJ registries nationally reJX>rt and are particularly interested in outdoor feri ng with the solemnity of the· ceremony that more and more brides selecting sil ver, cookware. or the fun of the reception. • Enlist a friend or relative to identify china and crystal patterns are accompa­ Bridal registry personnel help couples Here are some suggestions to help you special friends and relatives for the pho­ nied by their husbands, says the Jewelry analyze which lifestyle they prefer, and selecl the right photographer: tographer. At the reception, request photo­ lndu,tryCooocil. guide them in selecting tableware to blend • Begin early - particularly if you are graphs of your guests at various table It's all part of the trend toward men en­ with their entenainment and daily living gening married in the popular months of groupings. joying acting the host in their own homes, June, July, August or December, the busi- and taking up goonnet cooking, or at least """'Youn· g husbands, familiar with their the ability to prepare one or more special wives' choices, find it easy to select gifts dishes, the experts say. for their home in the future. Interestingly enough, surveys show With today's more integrated life­ For All Your Investment Needs styles- with women more and more in the • Stocks and Bonds • Investments For Retirement i!:g;o 0~sa:r~oo~i~::= ~~~~ business world, and men taking an imerest with less exposure to preconceived ideas in the home - choosing tableware pat­ • Mutual Funds • Tax Advantaged Investments about table setting, have more flexibility terns together follows naturally, the Coun­ • IRA Investments • Children's Custodial Accounts in mi xing and matching patterns than cil observes. BARBARA KENERSON TUCKER, ANTHONY & A.L. DAY. INC. 1610 Hospital Trust Tower 456-1900 Providence, R.I. 1-800-442-5642 (RI) 1-800-255-1530 (Out of State) en is a $5,000 sofa a bargain?

When you purch~se 1t OCH for SZ,400 Beco1use we sell the World's most elego1nl fur ­ , Green Manor ture -11 surpnsmgly , o1ffordo1ble prices. You·n find showroom }(:'"Catering in the Green Manner" overstocks o1nd discon­ tinued items for up to 31 Tosca Drive - 70% lesstho1nwhalthey Stoughton, Mass. 02072 sell for elsewhere. All first quo1lity- m . pnstm, co"d,hoa-aad m reo1dy for delivery. (617) 828-3018 (617) 341-1600 Please visal our s.ilon. And see for yourself why o1 55,000 sofo IS ,1 real sle1l. The finest 1n catering throughout New England

Oeco~~~o;'c~~~:it!tHN~':.,~~!~rpn;~~~lit ~~\~~~!J!~u are. Mon-S•I 9 JO AM-5.JO PM M.sterC1rd. V,s.i, Amencan E,.:press Open to the l\lblic ~," >I I TI• • I_., lo , •,~: •" '. I , \I\"'" ·"~ .1 f .1,-lY f~ -- ,♦ J BRIDAL SHOWCASE, F'URUARY a. 19U-_,

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